From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: (BUFFYFIC) Cloaked in Darkness 1/? Date: 01 May 1998 06:42:13 PDT Okay, I've FINALLY got it all worked out, so here it! Enjoy! Love, Aurelia ********************************************************************* TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and The Master gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! Although it starts off a bit rocky, but I assure you they will end up together in this one! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till 'Prophesy Girl' here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, say just after the 'Angel' episode and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ ***PART 1: JEALOUSY*** Chapter 1: The Calm Before the Storm The Street lights went by in a blur, reflecting off of the glass windows as the bus crawled at a respectable speed through the town. Inside the bus was black, only a few snores and people muttering in their sleep, revealed that anyone was within except for the silent driver. His eyes swept the road for the stop sign and he spotted it a few meters from the end of the next street. He sighed and looked into the rear-view mirror at the girl sitting in the first row to the right. If he turned his head slightly he could look at her pale features from the corner of his eye. She was beautiful and his mind had been on nothing but her since the bus had started its trip from New York. She had stepped up and given him a sweet smile before taking her seat, watching all the other passengers as they, too, entered the bus. Her long dark hair was gorgeous, glossy and silken and just waiting for someone to run their hands through it. And her eyes, like emeralds, were dark green with dark lashes surrounding them. Her skin was white, like fine porcelain and her lips a natural red. He doubted she had ever needed to use makeup in her life. Her clothes were expensive, he could see at a glance, having seen many people getting onto his bus over the years. It occurred to him briefly to wonder why a lovely young girl, with obviously expensive taste, would be catching a bus to her destination when she could obviously afford to catch a plane...or a limo. He chuckled humorously, risking a slight glance over his shoulder at her sleeping face, so peaceful against the stained and worn red of the bus seat. The stop sign came closer and he slowed the bus. After a quick look at all the other sleeping people he got out of his seat and walked slowly towards her. He had intended to wake her gently, perhaps with soft endearment, his wife would never know...but when he had taken but one step towards her, her eyes flashed open, wide awake and without the slightest trace of sleep in their green depths. He paused, embarrassed, and saw a wariness in her eyes as she stared at him for a moment. Then her eyes softened and she smiled that sweet curving of the lips that he had not been able to forget since she entered his vehicle. "We’ve arrived, I didn’t want to startle you, or wake the others." He whispered almost nervously, wondering if those eyes had seen the flush enter his cheeks and the look of guilt in his eyes. A spark of laughter entered her face. She got fluidly to her feet and shrugged her shoulders lightly, trying to get the sleepiness out of her limbs. "Thank you, I enjoyed the ride." she said. A shiver went down his spine at the sound of her voice, he felt as if he would melt into a puddle as she stepped past him and descended the steps to the sidewalk. He saw her look around curiously, and then she turned slightly to looked back at him as he slid into the driver’s seat again. "Will you be all right? It’s a dangerous place here, I’ve heard stories..." he hesitated as she frowned slightly, stepping closer to the bus to peer in at him. A slender hand reached up to grasp the side of the door and he felt a sudden urge to take back his words and smooth the frown from her delicate face. "What stories?" she asked. He repressed the shudder that went through his body at the musical sound of her voice and tried to control his wandering mind enough to answer her question. "Ah...not much, just rumors you understand. They say this is the ‘Murder Capital’, people end up dead, especially the tourists" he told her in a low conspiratorial voice as someone stirred in the bus and a child started to whine about food. The girl released the door and severed her last link to the bus driver and his life. He felt it almost physically, she was so beautiful and he wanted to keep her there longer but knew he had a deadline to deliver all his passengers to their destinations. "I can take care of myself, I lived in New York remember?" she said softly, a laugh in her tone. He smiled foolishly at her as he started the bus again. She stepped back so as not to get in the way of the bus and he stared at her as if seeing a vision, feeling that something was not right. The moon shone down giving her skin an unearthly glow and her long dark hair blew lightly around her slender frame like a cloak. She raised her arms and hugged herself lightly, a farewell smile on her face and he closed the door on her, pulling away. She looked after the bus as it went slowly down the street and stopped at a light, then the light changed and the bus continued on faster until it was out of sight. She sighed a little, almost a whisper of breath and then looked around her, starting to walk the way the bus had gone. The breeze was cool and she wondered if she should have worn more appropriate clothes, her designer grey skirt just reached her knee’s and her top was light blue silk. The soft grey leather half-boots she wore did little to cover her legs and only her long hair kept her top half warm as it swirled around her in the wind. The night was lonely, but the moon was absolutely beautiful and she could not help but stare longingly at it as she walked along. She was so intent on the sky that when a bunch of teenagers ran past her, she was almost knocked over. "What a babe!" one guy said as he glanced over his shoulder to see who they had barreled past, the other guys looked back but then they grabbed the first guy and they continued on. "Yeah, she is! But we’ve gotta get to the ‘Bronze’ before the band starts!" their voices faded away as they ran and soon so did their hard footsteps. She sighed and ran a hand unconsciously through her hair, then smoothed her skirt down. She had to find a hotel or something and get some sleep before the sun came up. *************************************** The girl screamed again and Buffy gritted her teeth, silently willing the girl to shut up. Her eyes clashed with the vampire’s yellow one’s in a deadly struggle as each looked for an opening to attack. It would have helped, of course, if the vampire and Buffy weren’t in a sort of stalemate, each had a hand about the other’s throat. She was seriously pissed off at the male vampire for ruining her night and her glaring green eyes told him so. Her grip tightened and his did simultaneously, Buffy started to see stars and tried to get her other hand free from his. The long claws merely dug into her flesh harder and she gasped involuntarily. She kicked at him and he grunted with pain as it connected with his ribs. He snarled and bared his fangs as a wicked smile covered his face and he lifted her slightly from the ground. Buffy choked and saw the girl crawling rapidly away, only to run into the legs of another vampire, who was amused to see the slayer in such a weakened position and had forfeited dinner to watch the entertainment. "Going somewhere my Dear?" the second vampire purred. Grabbing the girl by the hair and holding her up by it. She screamed in pain and struggled futilely, eventually fainting. "I...really...wish..." Buffy panted as she kicked again at the vampire holding her up. Her neck muscles threatened to give way and she bit her lips as darkness entered the edges of her vision. "...they would LEARN..." She gave an especially hard kick to his solar plexus and the vampire was the one to gasp with pain this time, his grip loosening enough for Buffy to struggle free. She fell back to the ground and her eyes narrowed dangerously as she rubbed at the skin of her bruised neck. Buffy leapt to her feet and grabbed the stake she had dropped when he grabbed her. She roundhouse kicked his face and he spun backwards. "...Not to..." Another kick to his face and a few rapid punches, then she thrust the stake through his heart. He turned to dust in seconds and she spun at the ready. The second vampire looked a lot less amused as she raised the stake and leapt at him. He flew back and she staked him before he could get back on his feet. Buffy returned the stake to the back of her mini-skirt and leaned down to check the unconscious girl. "...piss a Slayer off, especially when she has a hot date!" Buffy finished triumphantly. The girl started to come around and Buffy helped her to her feet, explaining that they had been attacked by gang members. She seemed to accept it and took off without a word, too terrified to even thank Buffy for apparently ‘running off’ the ‘gang members’. "Geez, so much for gratitude, but that’s two less blood suckers." Buffy muttered as she straightened her dress and walked back out of the alley she had been passing before she heard the girl’s scream. "You’d think girls these days would have more sense than to go into a dark alley with a strange guy!" Buffy threw up her hands in disgust and continued on to the ‘Bronze’ and her date with Dwayne. She didn’t usually go for the football type, but he was nice and she was hoping to make Angel jealous, if nothing else. It was a month since she last talked to him. Though she constantly felt his eyes on her wherever she went, he never appeared and she had given up trying to speak to him. It just wasn’t meant to be, a vampire and a Slayer and he WAS 241 years old. Way to old for her, she convinced herself, she was only 16 after all. Dwayne was waiting upstairs and Buffy was pleasantly surprised to see a warmth enter his eyes when he saw her. He got to his feet and gave her a hug, not even mentioning the fact she was 20 minutes late for a date. "What a guy" she muttered dryly, not so sure if she should take his disinterest in her lateness as a compliment. "Well, well, so Buffy finally decided to turn up. Are you sure you want someone as...absent-minded as her as a girlfriend Dwayne? And that hair, you could have at least done your hair Buffy." Cordelia’s sarcastic voice clearly heard even over the loud music and Buffy’s hands flew to her hair in defense, finding that most of it had fallen from her ponytail in the struggle with the vampire. "You fight the un-dead each night and see how YOUR hair looks." Buffy muttered darkly under her breath, glaring as she rapidly fixed her hair and Cordelia watched with a snobby expression on her face. Dwayne but an arm around Buffy’s shoulders and smiled down at her softly, touching a blonde curl as it lay against her check. "I love your hair, messy or not." Dwayne told her and she smiled back, her eyes sparkling as he leaned in to give her a kiss. Buffy heard Cordelia snort un-lady-like, but they both ignored her. She leaned back and her eyes caught a slight movement in the corner of the room. "The world is coming to an end! Buffy is hanging with the same group as I am!" Cordelia glared accusingly upward for a moment as if waiting for some hint that it was all just a big mistake. Buffy didn’t hear her and Cordelia left, unnoticed, a second later, muttering about losers. A shiver went through Buffy and she knew only one guy could get that reaction out of her without her even seeing him. Angel. And even from the other side of the room she could feel his anger. He was jealous and a smile touched her lips before she could stop it. He was watching her but even her sharp eyes could only pick up the faintest outline of his form as he stood in the shadows. Buffy lifted her chin and deliberately turned her back on him. She looked at her date instead and contemplated his cute features. He was as light as Angel was dark, short hair as blonde as Buffy’s own and light blue eyes. He was good-looking, but not as good-looking as Angel, Buffy thought dreamily. She shook her head abruptly and focused on Dwayne as he asked her if she wanted a drink. She nodded and he got up from the table. Her eyes followed him and she looked at his muscled body absently, more muscle than she usually liked, but that was football players for you. It made her wonder if she was really serious about dating. She took her feelings out and examined them, ignoring the music and conversation of all Dwayne’s friends as they talked and laughed around her. Her feeling for Dwayne were, friendship only, as much as she wanted to feel more, there was only one person who could make her heart race. Buffy looked over her shoulder and towards the shadows but her senses told her that Angel was gone. She turned back with a sigh and gasped as she saw Angel sitting across the table from her. Staring with burning eyes.... ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Dark Thoughts" (1/1) Date: 01 May 1998 14:28:52 EDT This short little thing takes place just after "What's My Line, part 2" (Kendra ep), which I just saw last night thanks to my friend lending me some tapes. I haven't seen/heard what goes on just after that, though, as far as anything after Dru walking him out. So if this is in direct contrast (and I have done that once or twice, by mistake) and anyone cares to let me know, I'd appreciate it. OTOH, if this would mesh in just fine, then let me know that too and I'll do the happy dance around my room. :) So-- Spoilers: Not really. Up to "What's My Line, Part 2", I guess. Comments: Yea! And intensive ones, honest ones, etc. COnstructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome! Notes: Takes place back @ Spike and Dru's place after the end of the ep. A little profanity. Dru being _Dru_. ::rolls her eyes:: On with the show! ~ "Dark Thoughts" By Rachel Brody "Kitten," Spike moaned softly. Dru smiled a little, touching her protector's cheek lightly. "Yes, love?" she asked. She marvled at how much stronger her voice was, how she could think, see slightly clearer. Of course, it was all still a tremendous muddle, but she felt so much better-- so much _clearer_. Everything was singing in her head. If only, she sighed inwardly, the same were true of her Spike. She stroked his cheek lightly, leaning in and examining the scarred flesh that she'd first noticed when she brought him back here after the Slayer knocked that big load've wood down on the two of them. Nasty, wretched Slayer. Poor Spike, she thought. He was looking at her now with that sad, hurting look've his. "Does it 'urt much?" she breathed. Spike's jaw clenched tightly, and Drusilla bit her lip. "Yea," he got out, and Dru could tell the poor sweet thing was hurting something awful. "Wish I could 'elp," she whispered. "But everythin's singin', Spike, the 'ole _world_, an' I can..." She shook her head slowly, her voice dropping to a lower volume as she leaned closer, confiding in him. "I can barely 'ear meself thinkin'," she said, her voice betraying her tickled humor. That must have been the right thing to do, though, because Spike smiled a little, "S'awright, then," he said. "Are you sure?" she asked. She hoped he wasn't lying to her, because sometimes he did that to try and protect her from things she shoudln't be thinking about her, he loved her that much, he did. He nodded and smiled weakly in response, and Dru met his smile with a grin of her own. As she moved in to plant a kiss on his lips, though, she heard a small voice from the other side of the room. *"Mummy,"* the voice came, and Dru sighed in exasperation when she heard Miss Emily's plaintive cry. *"I'm 'ungry, Mum."* Dru turned back to face the dolls. "Not _now_, lovey," she chided gently, "stop both'rin' your Mum or she'll 'ave to be cruel to you, an' you know 'ow much that 'urts 'er, don't you." She smiled at Spike as his eyelids fluttered slightly. "Shh," she said. "What?" he asked, wincing a little. "Nuthing," she said. "Miss Em'ly's just bein' a bit spoiled, is all." Then she thought a moment. She couldn't just _leave_ the poor thing to starve, could she? And Spike would probably like something to eat, as well. "Mummy's goin' to go an' get us all a nice meal," she told him. "For the dollies, an' for you, too." "Dru," Spike breathed, and Dru had the feeling that if she stayed much longer, he might not let her go out. "I'll be back rather shortly," she told him, then she pressed a finger against his lips to silence the protest she was reasonably certain would come. When she felt him sigh, she nodded and turned to take her coat from its hook by the door, leaving quickly. She knew Spike always told her she didn't need to wear the jacket, but she'd taken it from a beautiful woman in Paris on the way out of Prague, and she hated to part with it just yet. It was so beautiful. Soft, and warm, and she could curl up in it and feel all safe and nothing could hurt her. She frowned as she reached the entrance to the warehouse, peeking outside just a bit. It was dark out, and as her eyes rose upward, she let a smile push the frown out of the way. She could see the stars, now. And they were...so beautiful. * "Dru," Spike whispered, hearing her skip away, wishing there were some way he could go after her. Damn it all, if only the Slayer hadn't shoved him into that organ, if he could just _move_ without pain shooting through him like he was some sort've bloody cripple...he was the _Vampire Master_ of the _Hellmouth_, damn it all, he wasn't supposed to be sitting here helpless like some sorta mewing kitten. He sighed. But that bitch had, and he was, and now his Dru was going out on er own to devil-only-knew-where, doing who knew what, treating him like he hadn't been taking care of her most nearly completely since she'd taken him to Angelus to be _made_. Angelus, that bastard. Spike glowered, best he could, ignoring for a moment the pain from the weight of the organ falling upon him. "At little sonuvabitch," he muttered. "Thinkin' 'e could just go and turn fuckin' human on them, thinking he could go out and get himself _involved_ with a damn _Slayer_." He sighed, relaxing slightly as the rememberance faded in response to his rapidly increasing pain, as well as the ever- increasing worry he was feeling over Dru. Yea, she was healthy now, but that wouldn't do her any damn good if she went and forgot that at the end of the night the sun peeked over the horizen and if she wasn't in the dark then it just wouldn't _matter_ that she'd been restored to her full health, because she'd be blooming _dead_, and now wouldn't _that_ just make a lovely ending to her altogether unproductive life. Spike cast a desperate look toward the chair across the room, wondering if there were a possibility that he could pull himself off this bed and somehow get himself over there. At least if he did that, he could sit _up_ 'stead of lying here in agony and not being able to see a bloody thing. Clenching his jaw, Spike cast an arm out to latch it onto the bedpost, and he wrapped his fingers around it as tightly as he could. He was sure his knuckles were turning white, but he couldn't see to tell because his eyes were squeezing shut against the pain that was shooting all through him. *Damn Slayer _bitch_,* he thought angrily. She'd gone and broken his spine in two-- or maybe more-- and it was gonna take damn near forever for it to heal. Damn long time, and he'd need to do a damn lot of feeding if he wanted it to go at any kind've reasonable rate. He was shaking his head now, ignoring how much it hurt. He'd just use the pain to fuel his taste for revenge against the Slayer and her damn lap dog of a spineless coward of a vampire. That bitch'd pay, he vowed silently. There was no doubt of that in Spike's mind. She was fucking dead, the moment he got his hands on her. Damn the perky little thing straight to hell. He was seeing red now, his fear for Dru's safety almost forgotten. Almost, until he realized that fact, at which point all his concerns came rushing out've nowhere. Now he was sitting on the edge've the bed, his legs dangling uselessly over it, and he was mostly supported by his hands, which were still gripping the posts of Dru's canopy bed. With a sigh, Spike let himself go, falling back into the matress and blankets with a sharp, pained _thud_. He grimaced as he hit, but refrained from crying out in case anybody mighta been near enough to hear. He wasn't about to go and make himself damned vulnerable to every frigging idiot around who might think killing him was a good way to earn a name for himself. Folding his hands over his chest, Spike wondered if the Slayer'd find herself in this much pain after he got his hands on her. If he took her in his hands and just about snapped her in two. His lips curled back in a predatory smile. He'd make her pay, that Slayer, just as soon as he could have time to heal. That, and soon as Dru came home. Spike glanced at his clock. He could give her about three more hours, he supposed, to get back here. But if she wasn't back by then, he'd have to call one of the peons pretending to be a vampire to go out looking for her. He chuckled slightly. He'd pick a peon he didn't like too much, he decided. Just in case Dru wasn't in the mood to come home. THE END ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Mark Jones Subject: BUFFYFIC: When (6/?) HELP NEEDED!!! Date: 01 May 1998 22:33:13 +0100 AUTHOR: Rachel Jones DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Buffy characters etc. they belong to Joss Weldon etc. PLEASE HELP! Ok, here's the thing, I have no idea at all on how to end this, the original story was not meant to be anything like this one, I just hope that you like it, I'm not too sure if I do, so it would be a great help it you would tell me what you think!! Thanks! Rach@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk In issue #153, there was a message saying 'Everton are rubbish...' and basically it had NOTHING to do with Buffy, here is what happened. I think my brother was sending the message to his friend who supports Everton, and he must have used the address book thing and clicked on the Buffyfic address by mistake, so I am VERY sorry about that! She just lay there waiting and concentration, Angel had to come soon Buffy hoped. To her amazement, at that exact moment Angel ran through the cemetery gates and towards Buffy, he then saw all of the other vampires and a chill ran down his spine, he didnt know what to do, he needed to talk to Buffy privately about her friends, he needed to give them some distraction. His mind was racing, until he knew what to do, these vampires would be hungry, he had to pretend to be one of them, just enough so that they would believe him, but Buffy would know that it was really Angel and not the evil vampire Angelus. He did the only thing that he felt he could do that would distract the vampires. He simply yelled Food, go and get it!!!! The other vampires looked at Buffy for a few seconds and then at Angel, they were stuck, but felt that if they went Angelus would watch over Buffy, little did they know ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC: Angel's Memories (0/?) Date: 02 May 1998 08:10:00 EDT Angel’s Memories Prologue (0/?) by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Angel’s Memories AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com RATING: PG/PG-13 SUMMARY: This is pretty much the story of Angel’s life before and as a vampire. Buffy finds Angel’s diary and decides to read it. If you notice any info that contradicts what the show has already said, please notify me. DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended. FEEDBACK: Please be nice; I’m still a newbie. Buffy started going through the possesions in Angel’s appartment. It was daytime, and he wasn’t there now, so she was safe. There, she looked for anything of Angel’s. //I owe it to him// she thought //to make sure that Angelus doesn’t have the benifit of Angel’s things.// The first thing she checked was his dresser. Inside she found mostly clothing. A red velvet box caught her eye. She opened it, unsure of what she was going to find. His cross. She put his cross around her neck. The Claddagh ring. Tears started to sting her eyes. She closed her eyes and remembered the night she gave him the ring. "I love you." The three words that would change her life forever. //I love you too.// She slid the ring on her finger. She dug throught books and boxes. Most of them had to do with demonology and Slayers. One of them, though, stood out from all the rest. It didn’t have a title or an author on the cover. It had a beautiful red leather cover and delicate pages. //What’s this?// she thought to herself. She opened the book up to the first page. It was dated April 23, 1776. The handwriting was his. //This is his diary// she thought. //Maybe now I’ll find out about his past.// She browsed through it recognizing a name or event here and there. But for the most part, it was new to her. //This could be the key to bringing Angel back. Maybe he wrote the ceremony in here.// The sun had started to set, so she grabbed her coat, the diary, the cross, the ring, and a few more personal items she had found. As fast as she could, she rushed home to read the diary. The last thing she need was to see a vamp on her way home. She quietly climbed up the side of her house. Little did she know, her mother was inside. "Buffy, where were you?" Mrs. Summers asked her daughter. "I was just with Xander and Willow. We were, uh, um- " "Forget it. I probably don’t want to hear it. I thought you were going to stay home and study for your English test on Monday." "I was, but, I uh…" Her mother sighed. "Until you learn some responsibility, you’re grounded. The rest of the evening and all of tomarrow I expect you to be in your room studying or reading. No TV or phone calls to Willow or Xander, okay?" "But, Mom," Buffy feigned being upset, "whatever will I do?" "You’ll think of something." She left the room. Buffy grabbed the diary and opened it. //This should be interesting…// End Prologue ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:Angel's Memories(1/?) Date: 02 May 1998 08:11:15 EDT Angel’s Memories (1/?) "Darla" by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Angel’s Memories AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com RATING: PG/PG-13 SUMMARY: This is pretty much the story of Angel’s life before and as a vampire. Buffy finds Angel’s diary and decides to read it. If you notice any info that contradicts what the show has already said, please notify me. DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended. FEEDBACK: Please be nice; I’m still a newbie. PROOFREADERS: Thanks for your time and effort proofing this. I really appreciate it. She silently started to read the diary. A look of fear struck her face. "Darla," Buffy whispered aloud. Suddenly, everything changed. She was no longer in Sunnydale, but in an old, gorgeous church. She was seeing everything. Unable to speak, unable to move, unable to think. It was like a movie that couldn’t be stopped. She was in Angel’s mind. *** "Help!" a voice shrieked from outside the church. "Help, someone, please!" I ran quickly towards the scream. In front of me stood a beautiful woman with blond hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. Her features, stiff in fright, were tear stained. Her clothing tattered, she sat in the dirt crying. "Are you alright, Miss?" "Please help me, kind sir. I was traveling across the grassy knoll in front of the church when a demon of some sort attacked me. I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. Thus, I screamed. As soon as you appeared, he left. Thank you," she said. "Here, let me help you," I said. I lifted her in my arms and carried her inside. She seemed odd in some way, as if she had some sort of secret she was hiding but longed to tell me. "Are you sure you are alright?" "Yes, I am fine. Sir, what is your name?" "I am Father Angel, or soon to be. I am studdying with Father Lawrence to become a priest. What do they call you?" "I am Darla." "Darla," I spoke, "that’s a lovely name." "Thank you." Suddenly, my emotions went wild. I felt a feeling not even I described. I just wanted to hold her and never let her go. To kiss her and forget my vow of chastity. As I leaned forward, Sister Mary appeared. She cried out "Angel, what is here?" "Darla," I said. "She was attacked by demons and needs our aid." "Oh, poor dear. She will stay with us for a few nights. Come, girl, let’s away. I will bring you to the convent where you shall have a bed to sleep in and warm food to eat." She aided Darla away. *** I did not see her again until the next evening. The rain had been pouring terribly, and the thunder was fierce. I had been sitting in my cell, reading the bible when I heard a scream. "Angel!" I ran outside to see Darla, soaked to the bone, calling my name. "What is it?" "I saw a vampire. He tried to feed on me, but I put a stake through his heart." She seemed all shooken up. "I could’ve died tonight." "I would never let that happen. Come. You can spend the night in my room." "Thank you." She came in, soaking a freezing. "You’re shaking like a leaf. Here," I said, handing her a pair of clean clothing. "Put this on." "Thanks…for everything. If it wasn’t for you I would be-" I kissed her. "Shh. Don’t talk. What’s done is done." She kissed me back. I pulled her down onto the bed. "Angel," she whispered, "this isn’t right. You’re a priest; I’m a young girl. We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s wrong." "I’m a strong believer that sometimes its right to do the wrong thing." I held her in my arms that night as she slept. She was so peaceful, so innocent. Her hair clung to the side of her face as she sweated. I finally fell asleep around 3:00 that morning. When I awoke, though, she was gone. I noticed a note on the table. DEAREST ANGEL, I’m sorry I left so early this morning. I will see you again. At 10:00 this morning, meet me at the alter. YOUR BELOVED, DARLA It was almost 10:00, so I rushed to get dressed and bathe. When I got to the alter, though, she wasn’t there. I waited almost a half hour before she arived. She was careful to stay in the shadows. "Darla, come into the light." "I can’t." She walked farther towards me. "Come to me, Angel." I followed as she said. As I finally reached her, I noticed the strangeness of her face. "What has happened to you?" "It is amazing," she whispered. "I’ll show you." She bit into my neck. The blood slowly drained out of me. I felt warm blood run down my throat, choaking me. Then, everything went cold. End Part 1 (Darla) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:Angel's Memories(2/?) Date: 02 May 1998 08:12:13 EDT Angel’s Memories (2/?) "Angelus" by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Angel’s Memories AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com RATING: PG/PG-13 SUMMARY: This is pretty much the story of Angel’s life before and as a vampire. Buffy finds Angel’s diary and decides to read it. If you notice any info that contradicts what the show has already said, please notify me. DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. No infringement intended. FEEDBACK: Please be nice; I’m still a newbie. PROOFREADERS: Thanks for your time and effort proofing this. I really appreciate it. I awoke the next evening in the church, in my church. I was dazed at first, but soon got my bearings. The coffin was dark but comfortable. I pushed my way out to see the church lit with beautiful white candles. Darla was wearing a beautiful dress and gorgeous jewelry. She came over to me, and before I could say a word, kissed me and smiled. I kissed her back, harder and more passionately. Finally, I pulled away, startled. "What happened?" "Do you not remember, Angel? I am a vampire. And now you are too." A wicked smile crossed her face. She took his hand and moved it to his face. "See? Come, now. You’re probably starving." We went outside and fed on a young couple before leaving. Darla had a place about a half mile from here. On our way, we fed on every mortal we past. That’s when Darla taught me how to change a human into a vampire. "First," she said, holding her victim, "is feed off their blood." She demonstrated. "Next, you bite into one of your vanes, such as your wrist." Blood poured from the spot. "Last, you pour it into their neck wound. In about a day or so, they should revive and start their first hunt. Go, on. Try it." I took the man I had in my grip and fed. Next, I bit my wrist. It was unusually painful. I thought you couldn’t feel pain as a vampire. I pushed my wrist against his neck and waited. Darla told me when took my hand when it was time to let go and licked some blood. From out of nowhere, a young girl showed up and fought with a nearby vampire. "She’s a Slayer," Darla explained. "Her destiny is to kill our kind. She has incredible strength; more than any human. Do not let her touch your heart with a stake, or you will die for good. Watch as I kill her." The Slayer easily staked her enemy and saw us. As she approached us, Darla spoke. "Hello, Maria. I’ve been waiting quite a while for this." The color drained out of her face. "You are…are…are" "That’s right. It’s Darla." The Slayer was frozen in fear as Darla advanced toward her. Suddenly, she kicked Darla in the face. But she was unfased. She returned that kick for a harder, stronger one to her stomach. The Slayer tried to punch her, but she blocked the punch and hit her in the stomach. She then through her against a wall. "Feed on her, Angel. She will give you strength." I did just that. Her blood tasted so sweet. "We must be going now, for the sun will be up soon." "So?" "A vampire is burnt to a crisp in the sun. It is increddibly painful. While, we’re on this subject, crosses, garlic, holy water: they won’t kill you, but they will burn your skin. Don’t let them touch you, love." *** The next night, we returned to the church to feed. We walked outside for a while. There we found the youngest and the oldest nuns, Mary and Catherine. //So pure, so chaste// I thought. Before I knew it, Darla was already feeding on Catherine. I grabbed Mary and flung her against a tree. "Angel!" she cried. "Please, no!" "It’s Angelus now." I ripped her clothes off of her weakened body and raped her before I killed her and made her one of us. "Angelus," Darla said, "I like it." End Part 2 (Angelus) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:Angel's Memories(3/?) Date: 02 May 1998 08:13:09 EDT Angel’s Memories (3/?) "Edith and Billy" by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Angel’s Memories AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: This is pretty much the story of Angel’s life before and as a vampire. Buffy finds Angel’s diary and decides to read it. If you notice any info that contradicts what the show has already said, please notify me. DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. Nor do I own Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespere. No infringement intended. FEEDBACK: Please be nice; I’m still a newbie. PROOFREADERS: Thanks for your time and effort proofing this. I really appreciate it. For the next century, I traveled around Europe, killing and eating, murdering and torturing, making new vampires. Darla had gone her own way to Japan at the turn of the century, so I was alone. I had killed a Slayer in Germany, two in France, and one in Sweden. I was bored of just killing, and wanted to cause pain. Not to someone who was strong and could fight back, but to someone who was innocent and vulnerable. I was now aboard the Heaven, a ship taking me for England. I’d heard of a young noblewoman, Edith, whom was young and beautiful. She supposedly came from a filthily wealthy family. About twenty, she was an old maid looking for a suitor. That’s where I would come in. I brought with me a painting of her. She was fair, with curly black hair and dark eyes. Her beauty made me wonder why she had not been wed. It took me two nights to reach her town. Even there, it took me many hours before I could find her. One evening, I found her in her garden, planting flowers. I spoke, "Hello, ma’am." "Hello, sir," she spoke. "Would you like a daisy?" "No, thank you. My name is Angelus. Call me Angel." "I’m Edith, Edith Rosaline Buckler." "That’s a beautiful name." "Thank you. What brings you here?" I got all choked up. She appoligized, "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked." "No, it alright. My whole family was murdered. I was unable to stop the killing, but managed to get away. I have no home, no family, no friends." "Oh, you poor dear! You shall stay at my home while you are here." "I don’t want to impose." "No, it’s no trouble at all." "Just go in through the front door. Tell them that you are here to seak my marriage. They shall give you a room and a meal. I shall explain to you later." She suddenly seemed in a hurry for me to go. I went towards the door, but hid in the bushes. A man came into the garden. He had short blond hair and warm, inviting eyes. "Edith," he spoke. She looked stunned. "What are you doing here? This place is death filled, considering who you are. Father told me that I am forbidden to see you again. And if I do, God knows what will happen." "I’d rather die tonight with you than live a thousand years without your love. Therefore," he cried in vain, "nothing shall keep me from this place." She pulled him away from the window’s sight. "If they see you, they will murder you. Please, be gone. I would not for the world wish that you are seen." "But I love you." He kissed her lips. "I must go. We cannot take this any farther. Not here, not now." "’Oh wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?’" he quoted Shakespere. "What satisfaction do you wish for tonight?" "Marry me." He dropped on one knee. "Vow to be my wife." He slipped a ring on her finger. "Do you fancy it, pet?" "Billy!" she cried. "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" Her arms wapped around his neck. "I’ve waited so long to here those words." I moved and Edith heard the noise. "I here a noise. I must leave before they find us together. Good night." She ran off into the house. "Good night, love. Goodnight. I shall see you again tomarrow." *** "Who was that?" Edith was in her room brushing her hair that evening. "Who was who?" "That man I saw you with in the garden." "I was with no man in the garden. What in heaven’s name gave you that idea?" "Edith, don’t lie to me. I saw you with him." "Shhh. If my mummy ever found out…" "So, who is this man?" "Billy. He is my fiance. We plan to be wed tomarrow evening." //This doesn’t give me much time.// "Congratulations. You’re parents must be very happy." "Shhh. You can’t tell Mummy and Daddy. They forbid me to see him since he is poor." She grabbed a comb and started brushing a doll’s hair. "Has Miss Drusilla been a good girl?" Edith’s parents came into the room. "Edith, who is this man?" Mrs. Buckler asked. "Angel, uh,…Angel. He has come to wed me." "So," said Mr. Buckler, "you fancy our little Edith here." "Very much, sir. I only hope she feels the same way." "Well, Edith," Mrs. Buckler said, "go to sleep. We have big plans to make." "Good night, Mummy, Daddy. Good night, Angel." *** I stayed in my room until the rest of the house was asleep. I crept out into the streets, then. Luckily, Billy was outside, wandering the streets. "Billy," I said. He turned around. "How do you know my name?" "I’m a friend of Edith’s." "Oh. Why’re you here, mate?" "I’ve got a message for you." "What is it?" I sank my teeth into his neck. End Part 3 (Edith and Billy) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cloaked in Darkness: chapter 2/? Date: 02 May 1998 05:25:58 PDT TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and The Master gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! Although it starts off a bit rocky, but I assure you they will end up together in this one! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till 'Prophesy Girl' here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, say just after the 'Angel' episode and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ Chapter 2: Loosing The Slayer "Angel! What are you doing here?" Buffy demanded, looking for Dwayne with anxious eyes, if he came back and found Angel with her... "I come here every night, you know that" Angel said, his voice low, almost accusing. Buffy snorted, much as Cordelia had earlier. Angel was in no mood for games however and his eyes told her that, they seemed to burn a hole into her with their angered intensity. "Well you can go sit somewhere else, I’m with Dwayne" she told him and turned away with feigned disinterest, a low growl came from Angel and she pretended not to hear it. "Who is he? Does he know about you?" Angel demanded and Buffy turned back with a sweet smile, leaning in slightly towards him over the table. "Maybe" she taunted. Angel clenched his fists, visibly fighting for control and Buffy felt a thrill of fear and excitement at causing such a strong reaction. Angel pretended to be indifferent, but it was obvious to her that he was anything but...and the danger she sensed from Angel made her reckless. "He’s my boyfriend if you must know, so go away, he’ll be back any moment!" Buffy said with a sugary tone. Angel leaned forward also, seeming about to deliver some scathing retort but then he got to his feet and towered over her. "It won’t last." he said with a slight smile. They both watched as Buffy’s fingernails scraped strips of wood out of the surface of the table. She realized what she had done and turned away abruptly, furious that he had gotten to her so easily. Something thumped onto the table and she spun to face Angel angrily only to see that it was Dwayne back with the drinks. He saw her face and held up his hands mock-frightened. Buffy flushed and toyed with the straw in her coke. "What’s got you so angry, did I do something?" he joked and Buffy forced a smile to her face, though her eyes remained furious. "No, not you. Just..." she was interrupted as Cordelia stormed over to their table, her eyes annoyed. "Buffy, what did you say to Angel about me? I tried to talk to him and he just brushed right past me. ME!" she ranted at Buffy. The blonde sighed, Dwayne looking slightly confused until Cordelia left. "Who’s Angel?" he wanted to know. Buffy twisted the straw almost viciously, her thoughts again on the vampire who infuriated her as much as he made her heart leap with excitement at his presence. "No one. Just someone we both know, just...an acquaintance." Buffy said with a bright smile and took a sip of her drink while Dwayne talked about his last football game. Angel watched from the shadows again, baring his sharp teeth in fury. He was so angered that he had gone vampire. His eyes burned into Buffy’s back, her words echoing tauntingly in his mind. ‘No one’. His hands clenched, the nails biting sharply into his hands until blood was almost drawn. ‘Just someone we both know, just...an acquaintance’. He felt like breaking things, and even worse he felt like hurting the blonde guy Buffy was with. Sinking his fangs in and...he shook his head abruptly and his human face came back as he forced himself to relax. Buffy had made him this angry and Angel admitted he WAS jealous, she had a boyfriend now and wanted Angel out of her life. Well that was what she would get, he thought as he made his way unnoticed past her table and down the stairs to where he could see Xander and Willow talking and laughing together. They looked up and Willow smiled in welcome, though the look on Xanders face couldn’t possibly have been less inviting. "Hi Angel." She saw his face and the smile faded as he stood there and looked at them broodingly, something unreadable in his dark eyes. "Oh, you saw Buffy huh?" Willow said sadly, knowingly. Xander’s grin was tight, torn between relief that Buffy and Angel were no longer friends, and depression at the fact that she was now upstairs with another guy. "Yes" Angel said shortly, forcing a smile to his face and holding out a hand to Willow. "Care to dance?" he asked her, she smiled and put her hand in his. Willow ignored the daggered look her friend was giving her, sick of his comments about ‘dead boy’ as he called Angel regularly now. "Sure, nothing’s happening around here." she said innocently and was happily swept off by the gorgeous vampire, fervently hoping that Xander would be jealous. "In an alternate universe" she muttered as she put her arms around Angel and wondered if Buffy would be angry if she saw Willow dancing with the dark-haired vampire, especially to such a slow song. "So Angel..." Willow trailed off as she leaned back to look at his face and saw he was staring up at where Buffy and Dwayne could be seen. "You know, when you ask a girl to dance, it’s traditional to pay attention to her...maybe some light conversation?" Willow suggested lightly. Angel looked down at her, taking his eyes from Buffy for a moment. A rueful expression crossed his face and Willow suddenly wondered if it had been such a good idea to have a hunk like Angel giving her his full attention. He was so gorgeous, Willow found herself gaping like a fool at his face and looked down quickly. "You’re right, Willow." Angel’s voice came near her ear and she almost shivered, glancing up in shock, wondering vaguely if he could read minds. "I should be paying you more attention." he continued with a slight smile and Willow breathed easier, it had freaked her to think he knew she thought he was good-looking. Oh, Buffy, I could steal him away from you Willow told herself and almost stumbled to a halt at the un-Willow-like thoughts. "Willow?" Angel asked her and realized he had said something. She smiled brightly and met his dark eyes. "Yes?" she almost squeaked but he didn’t seem to notice, his eyes were again on Buffy and Dwayne, who were dancing slowly upstairs. "Do you think she’s serious about him?" Angel said almost under his breath and Willow felt suddenly protective of him, she smiled widely and flapped a hand nonchalantly. "Nah, it’s a faze" she assured him. Angel looked broodingly at the couple till the song ended, then he took her back to her seat and Xander. Willow was pleased to see that Xander was frowning like a thunderclap and her heart leapt. Angel sat down beside her and stared into space, his eyes dark and thoughtful. "What’s up vamp-man, can’t take the competition?" Xander asked laughingly and Angel’s eyes darkened even more as he swiftly glanced at Xander. Xander immediately realized his mistake and held up his hands as if to keep off the angry vampire. "Okay, sorry sorry. Bad joke" Xander muttered, turning away. Willow looked at him disapprovingly and Xander met her eyes almost guiltily. Willow turned back to apologize for Xander but saw the seat next to her was empty. A quick look around the room revealed nothing and she wondered where he had gone to in such a hurry. "Dead boy sure moves fast, I’ll give him that" Xander said happily and Willow sighed. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fear No Evil (1/4) Date: 02 May 1998 07:28:49 PDT Fear No Evil (1/4) by Chris Winslow TITLE: Fear No Evil AUTHOR: blueeaglex@hotmail.com RATING: This section is PG, but later sections will be PG-13 for sure! SUMMARY: Well, what's so fun about reading a complete summary before actually reading the piece? FYI, though, the complete story includes all the main characters from the show, although this section just has Buffy, Xander, and Buffy’s mom. DISTRIBUTION: Sure, send it where ever you want! (You might want to wait until tomorrow when I send out the other 80% of the story, though.) DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then, you already knew that, didn't you? They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. FEEDBACK: Sure, go for it. Send it to me and not to the whole list, if you could. As the clock inside Buffy’s home struck midnight, Buffy opened the door, ready to come in and go to sleep after a full night of staking vampires. Xander was behind her, politely walking Buffy home, and also more than a little hopeful that he could get a snack out of her fridge. "So what do we have here?" Xander said aloud, as he opened the refrigerator and peered in. Shaking his head in disgust, he said, "Your mom’s not one for junk food, is she? No Twinkies, no Snickers, no…" "’No toothaches, no fatty foods’, is how she would put it," Buffy butted in. Ready to go to sleep, she looked at Xander impatiently and hoped he would get the message. Unfortunately for her, Xander’s attention was focused squarely on the food (or lack of food) in the fridge. Having found a package of M&Ms in the back, he closed the fridge and opened the package, popping candies in his mouth by the handful. "Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "Those are mine!" "I’ll share!" Xander said defensively. He dropped one M&M on the counter. "One for you…" Then he dropped three M&Ms in a pile next to that one. "And three for me." "I thought the concept of sharing MY M&Ms would include equal piles," Buffy commented. "Silly me." As Buffy put her hand on the M&Ms that had been designated for her, Xander put his hand over top of hers. "You can’t have the green M&Ms," he said quickly. "They’re supposed to be aphrodisiacs….I keep a jar of them next to my bed, and one day I hope to feed them to a woman of my choice, then bring her back to the couch where we can…" "Stop before you say too much," Buffy interrupted. "Seduction by candy—now that’s a new one." Before Xander could say something witty, his hand touched the counter, and a previously unseen piece of paper slipped off and to the floor. He bent down and picked it up. As Buffy finished off her own M&Ms and then ate some of Xander’s, he read the note, his eyebrows rising. "Uh, Buff?" he said. "I think you’d better read this." He passed it over to her and she read it aloud. "’Dear Buffy’"," she read aloud. "’Don’t wait up for me tonight….I may be out all night, as I have decided to jump off Danes Bridge. I’ll see you tomorrow, Joyce.’" "Your mom’s a little old to be jumping off bridges, don’cha think?" Xander said. "There’s something wrong with this," Buffy said, already walking towards the front door again. "Come on, we need to get down to the bridge." "Jealous of her fun?" Xander added, as he followed her out the door. Buffy shook her head, a grim look on her face. "Worried is more like it. The last three people who jumped off Danes Bridge were attempting suicide…and they all succeeded." Xander choked on his last M&M as he heard this, and both of them began to walk a bit faster, Buffy peered in the direction of the bridge. Inexplicably, a fog had formed that was keeping her and Xander from seeing all the way to the bridge. "Mom!" Buffy called out, hoping her mother could hear her. "Mom, are you there?" "Buffy, is that you?" Joyce called back. The wind whipped through Buffy’s hair as she raced towards her mother. She stopped and glanced back at Xander, who was trailing far behind, huffing and puffing. "Will you hurry?" she called back. "Must….eat…less….M&Ms," he gasped, finally reaching up with her. The two continued to run towards the bridge, and Buffy tried calling out again. "Mom what are you doing?" "Oh, you know, the usual, honey," Joyce yelled back, her voice calm. Buffy and Xander reached the bridge, and now they could see that Buffy’s mother was perched on the edge of the bridge, looking down into the water below. "I’m thinking about jumping off," she continued, in a smaller voice. "Don’t be crazy, Mom," Buffy argued, standing feet away from her mother. "The last people who jumped off this bridge are dead." "They just didn’t know how to do it properly," Joyce continued. Xander scratched his head in puzzlement, and whispered in Buffy’s ear. "This isn’t like your mother at all. She’s the gullible, slightly ditzy type, not the risk-taking, bridge-jumping type at all." Buffy nodded. "Somehow I don’t think she’s doing this because of a midlife crisis," she said. "I’m going out after her." And before Xander could warn her to be careful, Buffy jumped onto the edge of the bridge, then dangled herself on to the other side. "You’ve decided to join me?" Joyce said, with a slight smile. Her eyes had a vacant, glossy look, as though she had been drugged…or possessed. "I think a mother-daughter jump in the water would be nice, don’t you?" "What I think is that we should go back over to the other side," Buffy said, placing her hand on her mother’s wrist. "Now, come with me, and everything is going to be…" "No!" Joyce exclaimed, pulling away from her daughter with a strong tug. Buffy was amazed at her mother’s strength, and nearly lost her balance on the bridge. Her mother, in the meantime, suddenly blinked, her eyes returning to their normal state. "Buffy?" she asked, puzzled. "What am I doing here? And where exactly is ‘here’?" Before Buffy could regain her composure, and answer her mother’s question—something she wasn’t sure she could do—a huge gale whipped by, catching Joyce off guard. She screamed out something unintelligible, as her feet fell from the edge of the bridge, and she tumbled down into the water. "Mom!" Buffy screamed. Before she could even react, Joyce vanished into the fog. There was a loud splash in the water, and Buffy’s heart skipped a beat. "Go call 911," Buffy said, as she turned back towards Xander. "Tell them…well, tell them whatever you want." Xander nodded wordlessly, and then ran for a phone. Buffy just remained perched on the edge, a single tear streaming down her face as she shivered in the cold. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fear No Evil (1/4) Date: 02 May 1998 07:28:47 PDT Fear No Evil (1/4) by Chris Winslow TITLE: Fear No Evil AUTHOR: blueeaglex@hotmail.com RATING: This section is PG, but later sections will be PG-13 for sure! SUMMARY: Well, what's so fun about reading a complete summary before actually reading the piece? FYI, though, the complete story includes all the main characters from the show, although this section just has Buffy, Xander, and Buffy’s mom. DISTRIBUTION: Sure, send it where ever you want! (You might want to wait until tomorrow when I send out the other 80% of the story, though.) DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then, you already knew that, didn't you? They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. FEEDBACK: Sure, go for it. Send it to me and not to the whole list, if you could. As the clock inside Buffy’s home struck midnight, Buffy opened the door, ready to come in and go to sleep after a full night of staking vampires. Xander was behind her, politely walking Buffy home, and also more than a little hopeful that he could get a snack out of her fridge. "So what do we have here?" Xander said aloud, as he opened the refrigerator and peered in. Shaking his head in disgust, he said, "Your mom’s not one for junk food, is she? No Twinkies, no Snickers, no…" "’No toothaches, no fatty foods’, is how she would put it," Buffy butted in. Ready to go to sleep, she looked at Xander impatiently and hoped he would get the message. Unfortunately for her, Xander’s attention was focused squarely on the food (or lack of food) in the fridge. Having found a package of M&Ms in the back, he closed the fridge and opened the package, popping candies in his mouth by the handful. "Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "Those are mine!" "I’ll share!" Xander said defensively. He dropped one M&M on the counter. "One for you…" Then he dropped three M&Ms in a pile next to that one. "And three for me." "I thought the concept of sharing MY M&Ms would include equal piles," Buffy commented. "Silly me." As Buffy put her hand on the M&Ms that had been designated for her, Xander put his hand over top of hers. "You can’t have the green M&Ms," he said quickly. "They’re supposed to be aphrodisiacs….I keep a jar of them next to my bed, and one day I hope to feed them to a woman of my choice, then bring her back to the couch where we can…" "Stop before you say too much," Buffy interrupted. "Seduction by candy—now that’s a new one." Before Xander could say something witty, his hand touched the counter, and a previously unseen piece of paper slipped off and to the floor. He bent down and picked it up. As Buffy finished off her own M&Ms and then ate some of Xander’s, he read the note, his eyebrows rising. "Uh, Buff?" he said. "I think you’d better read this." He passed it over to her and she read it aloud. "’Dear Buffy’"," she read aloud. "’Don’t wait up for me tonight….I may be out all night, as I have decided to jump off Danes Bridge. I’ll see you tomorrow, Joyce.’" "Your mom’s a little old to be jumping off bridges, don’cha think?" Xander said. "There’s something wrong with this," Buffy said, already walking towards the front door again. "Come on, we need to get down to the bridge." "Jealous of her fun?" Xander added, as he followed her out the door. Buffy shook her head, a grim look on her face. "Worried is more like it. The last three people who jumped off Danes Bridge were attempting suicide…and they all succeeded." Xander choked on his last M&M as he heard this, and both of them began to walk a bit faster, Buffy peered in the direction of the bridge. Inexplicably, a fog had formed that was keeping her and Xander from seeing all the way to the bridge. "Mom!" Buffy called out, hoping her mother could hear her. "Mom, are you there?" "Buffy, is that you?" Joyce called back. The wind whipped through Buffy’s hair as she raced towards her mother. She stopped and glanced back at Xander, who was trailing far behind, huffing and puffing. "Will you hurry?" she called back. "Must….eat…less….M&Ms," he gasped, finally reaching up with her. The two continued to run towards the bridge, and Buffy tried calling out again. "Mom what are you doing?" "Oh, you know, the usual, honey," Joyce yelled back, her voice calm. Buffy and Xander reached the bridge, and now they could see that Buffy’s mother was perched on the edge of the bridge, looking down into the water below. "I’m thinking about jumping off," she continued, in a smaller voice. "Don’t be crazy, Mom," Buffy argued, standing feet away from her mother. "The last people who jumped off this bridge are dead." "They just didn’t know how to do it properly," Joyce continued. Xander scratched his head in puzzlement, and whispered in Buffy’s ear. "This isn’t like your mother at all. She’s the gullible, slightly ditzy type, not the risk-taking, bridge-jumping type at all." Buffy nodded. "Somehow I don’t think she’s doing this because of a midlife crisis," she said. "I’m going out after her." And before Xander could warn her to be careful, Buffy jumped onto the edge of the bridge, then dangled herself on to the other side. "You’ve decided to join me?" Joyce said, with a slight smile. Her eyes had a vacant, glossy look, as though she had been drugged…or possessed. "I think a mother-daughter jump in the water would be nice, don’t you?" "What I think is that we should go back over to the other side," Buffy said, placing her hand on her mother’s wrist. "Now, come with me, and everything is going to be…" "No!" Joyce exclaimed, pulling away from her daughter with a strong tug. Buffy was amazed at her mother’s strength, and nearly lost her balance on the bridge. Her mother, in the meantime, suddenly blinked, her eyes returning to their normal state. "Buffy?" she asked, puzzled. "What am I doing here? And where exactly is ‘here’?" Before Buffy could regain her composure, and answer her mother’s question—something she wasn’t sure she could do—a huge gale whipped by, catching Joyce off guard. She screamed out something unintelligible, as her feet fell from the edge of the bridge, and she tumbled down into the water. "Mom!" Buffy screamed. Before she could even react, Joyce vanished into the fog. There was a loud splash in the water, and Buffy’s heart skipped a beat. "Go call 911," Buffy said, as she turned back towards Xander. "Tell them…well, tell them whatever you want." Xander nodded wordlessly, and then ran for a phone. Buffy just remained perched on the edge, a single tear streaming down her face as she shivered in the cold. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Mark Jones" Subject: BUFFYFIC: It's Time (2/2) Date: 02 May 1998 22:31:28 +0100 Here's part 2! Rach@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk IT'S TIME They left at 8pm promptly and arrived at Xanders at 10 past, he answered the door already to tell his new joke, but his breath was taken, “Wow!” was all he could manage, he was speechless! Buffy and Willow just laughed and Buffy said “is he here yet?” “Not yet, don’t worry, he’s not late, he has another 10 minutes, and _then_ he’s late!” The house was set up, Buffy suddenly thought that she was _too_ dressed up, I mean it’s only people from school, but she pushed the thought out of her mind, and let herself only think of him. Xander took Buffy and Willow by the hand and lead them through the hallway to the back, where everyone was sitting, talking, waiting. The doorbell rang, Buffys’ heart started to race and Xander told everyone “PLACES!” Buffy heard Xander open the door, say ‘Hi’ and tell him that the girls weren ’t round yet, so they should go into the back and wait. The door to the back opened slowly, they saw Xander and then Angel behind him and everyone yelled “Surprise!!” The music was turned right up, dancing started, Willow danced with Xander, leaving Buffy with the birthday boy! “Wow! This is amazing, you _look_ amazing! I can’t believe it!” His voice was drowned out by the music and all he heard was Buffy say, “And now time for part of your present!” And with that she raised her head up to his and placed her lips gently onto his and they stood there, kissing for what seemed like an eternity. Thanks for reading!! What do you think? Please do tell me1 Rach@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Mark Jones" Subject: BUFFYFIC: It's Time (1/2) Date: 02 May 1998 22:29:40 +0100 Author: Rachel Jones E-mail me with ANY comments of yours, as I want to imporve!! - which I kow that I can! so please e-mail me with comments! Rach@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk IT'S TIME (1/2) The cold day was drawing to a close. Buffy was stretched right out on the sofa watching some boring old chat show. She felt like drifting off and having a quick sleep before the big night, but she daren’t, tonight was much to big and important to miss. She pulled herself up, by the looks of it taking all of the energy she had left and made Willow do the same. They staggered into the kitchen to find something to eat and drink, “See what doing nothing as relaxation does to you? Make’s you ten times more tired than before, when you were stressed!” Buffy exclaimed, with a short laugh afterwards. “Yes, but remember, we CAN’T fall asleep, we just can’t, not tonight.” Willows reply was deadly serious. “I know,” Buffy sighed, “and although I am excited, I feel too tired to go!” “Buffy! You have to go, you can’t not, what will people think, what will you do, where will you go, you will be all alone…” Willows voice seemed like it would never stop, she just kept reeling off reasons why Buffy had to go. ‘She believes ANYTHING!’ Buffy had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud. Willow quickly noticed this and realised Buffy had no intention of NOT going, she was just doing it to wind her up! “Oh! _very_ funny! You’ve had your fun, now let’s go get ready!!!!” The girls had so much fun giving each other facials, doing their hair and make-up, but most importantly picking out what they were going to wear! Willow chose a simple dress, short sleeves, black with red tulips in a pretty pattern on it, she looked stunning. Buffy however could not chose so easily. Each outfit she tried on didn’t seem right for the occasion, she knew that whatever she wore would be fine but she still had trouble! In the end Willow chose a short, black, halter necked dress, which sparkled in the light, it looked amazing. Not too dressy or outgoing, just right. Thank you all for reading, you have an opinion, so please tell me! I don't mind if it is good or bad! Rach@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Editors & Beta Readers --- Please? Date: 02 May 1998 18:21:44 EDT I'm working on both the sequals to my stories. Love's Revival and my new one that has yet to be sent to the list Deadly Instincts (the next in the series after Vengeance and Lost & Found). I do need editors and beta readers!!! If you can help, please let me know. I'm always open to suggestions and ideas for my stories. E-mail me back if you can help me out with editing or beta testing. (both if you can) -Michelle http://members.aol.com/aglx/main.html Author of "Vengeance," "Lost & Found," "The Dark One," "Love's Revival" and soon to come "Deadly Instincts." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:Angel's Memories (4/?) Date: 02 May 1998 18:40:50 EDT Angel’s Memories (4/?) "Spike and Drusilla" by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Angel’s Memories AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: This is pretty much the story of Angel’s life before and as a vampire. Buffy finds Angel’s diary and decides to read it. If you notice any info that contradicts what the show has already said, please notify me. DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. Nor do I own Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespere. No infringement intended. FEEDBACK: Please be nice; I’m still a newbie. PROOFREADERS: Thanks for your time and effort proofing this. I really appreciate it. "Angel!" Edith cried. "Angel!" I asked, "Edith, what’s the matter?" "He’s dead," she shrieked. "He was murdered!" Tears started streaming down her face. "Shh. It’s okay. Everything will be fine." I pressed her body close to mine. She cried in my arms for a while. Then it happened: I kissed her. And for some strange reason, she kissed me back. //So pure, so chaste// I though. //Well, tonight’s going to change that.// *** Before she awoke the next morning, I had left the bed. Her family’s warm bodies just cried out to me to be fed on. So, I did. Her aunt and uncle were easy. I killed them while they were still asleep. It was her little sister, Juliette, that was hard. Just as I was about to grab her, she woke up, saw me, and screamed. I had to cover her mouth and drag her all the way out into the garden without anyone noticing us. There, I quickly twisted her neck. The sun was starting to rise, so I rushed back into the house and into the bed. When Edith awoke, she was startled to see me next to her. "Angel, what are you doing in my bed?" she asked. I gave her a confused answer, "We spent the night together. Don’t you remember?" "No, no I can’t. I thought I spent the night with Billy." "Billy is dead." Quickly, Edith stepped out of theh bed and started getting her robe on. I followed her lead. "What happened last night was, was wrong. Please understand that." "I understand." With that, she walked out of her room and gave a deafening scream. *** For days, she just sat in her room, weaping over her love and her sister. I played little mind games on her, like leaving little "messages" on her bedroom wall, such as things I heard Billy say to her. I even left her a message saying, "Was Angel good?" She started losing her mind. One evening, I roamed around the graveyard. There, I met up with Billy. He was torturing a victim with a railroad spike. "Angel," he said. "Spike." "Spike?" he asked. "Where the hell’d you find that one, mate?" "The way to torture your victims with railroad spikes. The name fits you." "How’s my Edith?" "Oh, she was great." "What?" "Never mind. She’s upset about your death." "Then I guess I’ll have to pay her a visit." *** Edith walked outside in a long white dress. In her garden, she started rubbing her hands in the dirt. Miss Drusilla was sitting next to her. I came along, Spike behind me. "Angel," she smiled. "Do you like daisies? Hmm? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies." I walked over to her, but she barely noticed me. "Guess what I found today. Mummy and Daddy were lying on my bed, dead." "Edith, I-" "Shh. No more words. Come ‘ere, Spike." She seemed to know his name without ever hearing it. "I’ve missed you." She rubbed her hand against his neck. "Edith?" Spike asked. "It’s Drusilla now." Spike leaned down to bite into her neck, but I pushed him away. "She’s mine." "Angel, what’s going on?" she asked, confused. "Well, Dru," I shoved her against a wall, "it’s all pretty simple." She let out a moan. "You, you killed ‘em. You killed ‘em all. And now you’re going to kill me." I kissed her lips before changing her into a vampire. "Nighty night, Dru." End Part 4 (Spike and Drusilla) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moria (5/?) Date: 02 May 1998 17:42:43 -0700 TITLE: My Moria (5/?) AUTHOR: Taygeta E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com RATING: PG DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first. FEEDBACK: Please??? SPOILER: Not really DISCLAIMER:The characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, these characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them. DESCRIPTION: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said. ********************** My Moria #5 By: Taygeta Buffy held vigilance over the glowing kitchen clock in the dark room, as she drowned her sorrows in a piece of chocolate cake. The kitchen door creaked loudly, but she didn't turn to see who had intruded on her silence and her darkness…she already knew who it was. He stood beside her, and poured a cup of warm coffee from the decanter on the counter. "You, okay?" he said quietly, cradling the steaming mug of brown, sugary liquid. She glanced at Xander and sighed, "What do you think?" "Sorry…stupid question," he replied, delicately lifting a loose wisp of her blonde hair away from her face, and his hand held the side of her face gently. Buffy's hand fell over her husband's before he could pull away and she closed her eyes as she felt his tender touch against her skin, "Oh, Xander, what are we going to do?" He embraced her and felt her body shake from uncontrollable sobs and felt tears in his eyes as well, "I wish I knew, Buffy, but how can you tell your daughter that she is destined to walk down this path. This path where you know she's going to stumble, fall, and quite possibly…die before she could live a real life? And how can you *let* your daughter walk down this path with the knowledge that you may lose her forever?" "I've fought these demons for so long, and all these years I thought I had finally stepped away from it all, but no…no, I couldn't," she said bitterly, "they wouldn't let me. If it was just me they were hurting, I could possibly handle this, but they've taken my daughter…my life." "You have to remember Buffy that when you were a slayer, all of us were endangered and there are some days that I didn't think we would have ever made it, but we did make it," Xander replied. "And I guess that's what we have to think about when we tell her and when we actually accept the fact ourselves that if we made it, then maybe she will too." "But *maybe* she'll live isn't enough," she said shaking her head in animosity at the very word, "I don't want to have a supposition to rely on, I want to know, not just hope that Moria will live through this. Y'know, I'm glad that I knew I was a slayer before Mom found out because she didn't have to go through all of this." "But she still had to worry, Buffy," sighed Xander kissing her softly on the forehead before looking into her eyes, "Just like we're worrying now." **************************** Cordelia stepped away from the kitchen door and felt guilty for eavesdropping on such a private conversation. She had meant to listen in, but she ended up doing so when she stopped by the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She had begun to hear them talk, and had meant to step away, but she didn't…couldn't. Thoughts of her past romance with Xander so long ago came back to her when she first saw him earlier that day. She had never really gotten use to the idea that he and Buffy was married and had a child not even after 20 years, at least…until now. As she had watched them holding and comforting each other, she knew that everything had turned out, as it should be, perhaps even as it was destined to be. Except destiny had played a poor role in their lives when it chose Moira to be the new slayer. It would be a task, Cordelia understood, to watch over and to teach Moira, and it was especially difficult when she could see Xander and Buffy in her ways and her manner. Every time she saw Moira, she would immediately think of them, and know that they were depending on her…to help their daughter survive. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Mark Jones" Subject: BUFFYFIC: When? (7/?) Date: 03 May 1998 10:14:57 +0100 Author: Rachel Jones WHEN? [part6] The vampires suddenly jumped at the opportunity for a quick feed, leaving Buffy with Angel. He was well aware that he would have to explain everything to her, and quick. “Buffy…” He began, but she cut him off “What is going on here, who do you think you are? Making me stay here when my friends are in trouble?!” She stood up, her face red and annoyed, she stilled loved him, and knew he would have an explanation, but was still worried. “Buffy, before you jump in, hear me out” “OK Angel, make it quick though” “I asked you here because I was wondering if you wanted to go out again, Buffy I love you.” “Angel, I don’t know what to say” All of her worries seemed to vanish, she wanted Angel more than anything, but why was he doing this, there were more important things to worry about. “Angel, later. What is going on, how did you force me here?” “I honestly don’t know Buff. I wanted to meet you in the daylight because I had been told that I was able to go outside in the day. They lied. And so told me the only way to make sure that you stayed was to wish it, I never thought it would work, I am so sorry Buffy, believe me, I would never hurt you, I love you.” He spoke with absolute sincerely, and Buffy knew he meant it. “I love you too, but my friends…” She trailed off, never finishing her sentence, too upset. What do you think? Rachel@altitudeprods.demon.co.uk ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fear No Evil (2/4) Date: 03 May 1998 06:40:42 PDT Fear No Evil (2/4) by Chris Winslow TITLE: Fear No Evil AUTHOR: blueeaglex@hotmail.com RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Well, what's so fun about reading a complete summary before actually reading the piece? FYI, though, the complete story includes all the main characters from the show, although this section just has Buffy, Xander, and Buffy’s mom. DISTRIBUTION: Sure, send it where ever you want! (You might want to wait until tomorrow when I send out the other 80% of the story, though.) DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then, you already knew that, didn't you? They were created by Joss Wheden and are owned by 20th Century Fox, Sandollar Television, Mutant Enemy, etc. FEEDBACK: Sure, go for it. Send it to me and not to the whole list, if you could. In the waiting room of the nearest hospital, Buffy sat in a chair, waiting to hear from a doctor. Xander was pacing next to her. While Buffy was the one who looked distraught, Xander looked nervous, tapping his fingers together without even thinking about it. "How long have they been in there?" Buffy asked, looking up at Xander for the first time in several minutes. Xander shrugged. "Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes." Buffy nodded and then dropped her head down again, looking at the tiles on the floor. After a long, uneasy pause, Buffy’s head jerked up again, staring straight at Xander. Xander stopped pacing and looked back at her. "Do you think my mother is going to make it?" she asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly. Xander considered the question carefully before answering. "I don’t know." He came up behind her, and squeezed her shoulders affectionately. "I just don’t know…it’s a miracle she didn’t die on impact She didn’t look all that hot when they brought her in…" He paused to take a breath, wanting to choose his words carefully. Before he had a chance to say anything else, a door opened, and a doctor in a white coat walked in stiffly. Buffy stood immediately, knowing without being told that he was there to talk with her. "Buffy Summers?" he asked, looking at her. She nodded, wiping her eyes. "How is my mother?" Buffy asked, suddenly taking control of the situation. The tears were gone from her eyes, and she’d taken control of her voice again. The doctor let out a brief sigh before beginning to speak. "She wasn’t in the best of shape when she came here…the fall from the bridge shattered several of her bones, most of them in her legs. We have managed to stabilize her, though, and she should be okay for the time being." "How does she feel?" Buffy asked. "Is she in any pain?" Again, the doctor let out a soft sigh. "There’s no way of knowing…at this time, your mother is in a coma. If she wakes up, we’ll be able to tell you more." Buffy’s eyes opened widely, and her whole face began to shift, the anger beginning to show. "*IF* she wakes up? What do you mean IF she wakes up?" Before the doctor could say another word, Buffy continued to ramble on. "My mother will wake up, and there is nothing hypothetical about that. She’s going to be as good as new once she leaves this hospital!" The doctor struggled with what to say. Xander pulled Buffy away from the doctor, since his friend looked like he wanted to strangle him right now. "Thank you for coming out," Xander said solemnly. "I’ll keep you informed as your mother’s prognosis changes," the doctor said. Then he turned and left the room. Buffy sank down in her chair again, as Xander took the seat next to her. "I can’t believe this is happening," Buffy said. "My mother—jumping of a bridge… Who would have thought?" The door to the waiting room opened, and several familiar faces walked in. First came Willow, who was still dressed in her night clothes…the most prominent piece of clothing being a pair of pink bunny slippers, which looked the size of clown shoes. Next came Giles, dressed as usual. Finally, Cordelia entered, her dour look revealing that she didn’t really want to be there in the first place. "Oh…" Willow came towards Buffy with open arms, hugging her friend close to her. Buffy hugged Willow tightly. As the two released their grips on each other, Willow looked at her friend, not knowing what to say. "We all came as soon as we could," Giles said. "I’m—that is, we—are all so sorry to hear about what has happened to your mother. Isn’t that right, Cordelia?" Cordelia yawned. "Tell me, though, why was your mother jumping off the bridge in the middle of the night? It doesn’t seem like her at all." Buffy and Xander went on to answer Giles’ question, with each of them adding different parts to the story. As they finished, Xander said, "And that was about it. The paramedics pulled her out of the water, and now she is in a coma." "Very strange," Giles whispered softly. "Very strange indeed." "Do you think that what happened is something supernatural?" Cordelia asked, stating the obvious. "You know, like demons and witches and vampires stuff." "Yes, yes," Giles said impatiently. "The only question now, is, WHICH supernatural force is at work here. Perhaps a demonic possession, or a spell of some sort…" The same doctor who had been out a few minutes before came back, a bit surprised to see that the waiting room had filled up so quickly. He looked at Buffy and said, "If you would like, you may go in with your mother now…she’s still unconscious, but there is a chance she could hear you." "Thank you, doctor," Buffy said quietly, walking towards the door. She turned back to her friends almost as an afterthought. "You can all go home for the night. I can handle things here just fine." "Buffy, this doesn’t seem like something you should go through al—" "I’m fine, Giles," Buffy said. "I am the Slayer…I can handle anything." She said the last sentence with a quiet sigh, as though she was trying to convince herself of that. Then, Buffy left the room, leaving the others by themselves. "Well, so much for my show of support," Cordelia said nonchalantly. "Ciao—I need my rest." She walked out of the hospital alone, closing the door behind her. "I’ve never seen Buffy so…" Willow said, struggling for the right word. No one finished Willow’s sentence, because they knew exactly what she was talking about. Giles said, "Because Buffy is so strong, we often forget that she is just as human as the rest of us." As soon as the doors to Sunnydale High began to open, students streamed through the doors, a new school day about to begin. Willow remained near her locker, her books pressing against her chest as she stared down the hallway. "Hello," came a familiar voice. Willow smiled briefly, as she recognized the voice as belonging to her boyfriend Oz. He kissed her on the cheek, and she kissed him back. "Is something wrong?" "That’s right, you weren’t there," Willow said. "And since you weren’t there, that means you wouldn’t know. And since you don’t know, then that means—" "That means I wouldn’t have any idea what you’re rambling about." Oz said. Xander walked up just then. "Ah, the horrors!" Xander said. "Don’t you just hate being out of the loop, Oz-Man?" Then, more seriously, he said, "Buffy’s mother jumped off Danes Bridge last night—and, last we heard, she was lying in the hospital in a coma." "Ugh," Oz said. "Tough. I take it that Buffy won’t be in school today?" "Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m here," Buffy said, calling out from the end of the hall. She was walking down the hallway with several books in tow. "How is your mom?" Willow asked, concerned. "She’s still in a coma," Buffy said. She smiled as she said, "I’m sure that by the time school is over, she’ll be up and walking." The bell began to ring and Buffy continued walking down the hallway towards her class. Willow and Xander shared a look. Oz, still out of the loop, said, Would someone mind filling me in on what’s going on around here? For someone with their mother in the hospital, Buffy sure does look chipper." Willow glanced at the clock on the wall. "I have to go," she said quickly. "I’m still teaching Miss Calendar’s class through the end of this week." She kissed Oz on his cheek again, then rushed down the hallway. When Oz turned back to get an answer from Xander, he saw that Xander had left as well. "I’ve got to find a way to get into the loop," Oz muttered under his breath, as he walked towards his first class. Walking alone through the hospital parking lot, Buffy revisited her evening in her mind. After school she had come directly to the hospital to sit with her mother, and she’d spent most of the past eight hours sitting by Joyce’s bed. Sometimes she had held her mother’s hand, other times she had sang softly to her. Just once she had left the room, going to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat. When she had been out of the room, she’d felt a pang of guilt, as though she had done something wrong by leaving. And now she was returning home..for a few hours, at least. She planned on getting up an hour earlier than usual to visit her mother before school. Now, though, she was just ready to collapse in her bed. She had never known how tiring it could be to sit in a hospital room all day. She wasn’t going to rest just yet, though. The silence of the parking lot was interrupted by a loud voice coming from several yards away. "I hear your mother isn’t doing that well. What a shame!" Buffy glanced over to see who was speaking, and tensed up inside when she saw a vampire coming towards her. The vampire was a tall, indescript male, and he was walking towards her casually, as though he was her best buddy, probably because he knew she was exhausted. Buffy was about to prove she was as strong as ever. She came towards the vampire in a flash, and before the vampire knew what was coming, her left leg connected with his chest. He flew back through the air, caught off guard by her attack. "I should have known better than to think I’d get a night off from fighting scum like you," Buffy said. Picking himself up off from the ground, the vampire began to walk back towards her. "On the contrary, we’re all excited about what happened to your mother," he said. "Some of us have even considered going in and finishing her off." Buffy’s eyes flared when she heard this, and again she went after the vampire. A few inches away from a tree, she snapped a large branch as though it was a twig, then thrust her hand forward, aiming for his chest. The vampire leaped to the side, narrowly missing her attack. Suddenly, though, Buffy leaped forward, the branch inches from the vampire’s heart. "I know who’s behind your mother’s behavior," the vampire blurted out, hoping to be saved. Hearing her mother mentioned again suddenly made Buffy ill, but she stood her ground. "Who is it?" she asked. "If I tell you, you have to let me go," the vampire said nervously. "Promise." Buffy kept her hand ready to stake the vampire, thinking about the question carefully. She released her grip on the vampire. "Tell me, and tell me now. If you make a run for it, count on me coming after you—and there won’t be any second chances." The vampire gulped, taking a small step away from Buffy. He opened his mouth to speak. "The person who made your mother want to jump off the bridge is—" A tree branch suddenly sliced through the vampire’s back and he vanished before he could tell Buffy what he knew. Buffy wasn’t at all surprised to see who was holding the branch: Angel. "Oh, did I spoil your fun?" Angel said, walking towards Buffy. "He was about to tell you who made your mother so crazy, wasn’t he?" Angel was grinning, and his fangs looked ready to bite Buffy’s neck. "Did I spoil all your fun? I’m so, so sorry about that." "I just don’t have time for your wisecracks tonight," Buffy said, sighing. Without missing a beat, she brought the tree branch in her hand towards Angel, slashing down towards his chest. Predictably, he jumped away before the branch could destroy him. "Oooh, testy," Angel said with a smirk. Then, in a quieter voice, he said, "I was just visiting your mother in her hospital room. Her neck looked very tasty…" "Liar!" Buffy snapped back. "I just left her room, and there’s a doctor with her now." Angel grimaced, and jumped towards Buffy, knocking her down. "Don’t screw with me, Buffy. If I wanted to, I’d make sure your mother didn’t leave the hospital alive—but I don’t think I’ll have to do anything to get what I want." When Buffy got up from where she had been knocked down, Angel was gone. Buffy was not the only person up so late. In the school library, Willow was hunched over a stack of books, reading through them to find any information she could on what had happened to Joyce. Her head dipped down as she began to fall asleep on the stack of books. After a moment of slumber, her head popped up again. "Need sleep," was all she managed to whisper, rubbing her eyes to wake herself up. She jumped up with a start as she heard someone talking from a nearby classroom. "Who else is up at this hour?" she asked herself, seeing that it was after 3 A.M. Yawning, she stood up and decided to go see what was going on. In the classroom a few feet away from Willow, three students were seated on top of the teacher’s desk, and one of them was twirling a small revolver in his hand. "It’s time to get the show on the road," the gun holder said ominously. He handed the gun to Grace, the only girl in the room. Without a second thought, Grace grasped the gun and placed it to her temple, aiming it in the middle of her forehead. "Bang, bang," she whispered. Then, she pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. The gun was passed to the next student, who also put the gun to his head, after first cocking it. This time there was no whisper, just the cocking of the gun. Then, he pulled the trigger as Grace had done. Nothing happened. The gun was again passed, this time to the student who had held the gun first. He held the gun in his hand, looking carefully at it, then cocked the gun again. The door to the classroom opened, and Willow walked in casually. "What’s going on?" she asked. "Is this some kind of late night study party?" Then she saw the gun in the young man’s hand and froze. The student holding the gun put it to his head, and pulled the trigger. This time, something happened. A bullet exploded out of the gun, striking the student in the forehead. He went flying off of the desk, his body collapsing in a heap on the floor. Willow screamed, somehow bringing the other two out of their trances. The game of Russian roulette was over. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: tabbylink@patrol.i-way.co.uk Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: General Problems Please Help!! Date: 03 May 1998 22:26:40 Sorry for this, I know that if I'm missing parts of fanfic from an author I should write to that author and ask but my server has done the *all time* screw up and has given me no mail since Friday through to Sunday 2pm GMT! This means I *know* I'm missing Angel's Memories 1-3 by Jaclyn Amy, 1-6 of When? by Mark Jones, and It's Time 1 by Mark Jones. If anyone else posted during this time and I don't know about it (some people take a long time before sending in more fic so I can't even guess - I just know weekends are *usually* busy) could you please, please be kind enough to forward parts I've missed to me. Alternately could someone please write to me if they'd be prepared to discuss what parts of what stories they have so I can compare what I'm missing? I know that for the last few weeks my server has been unreliable and I've only known I've been missing something when a part comes in and I haven't had the three before it or something. I'd really like to know whether I'm missing entire story parts after part 1 without disturbing authors to find they've been busy. :) If anyone could help I'd be really grateful. Betzi ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Buffy716 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Angel 1/1 By- Buffy716 Date: 03 May 1998 17:55:17 EDT Some of you my have seen this on the other list written by XanBufAngl but don't worry their both me. FEEDBACK Please!!!!! ***Angel*** By- Buffy716 Angel. I was always told angels would protect me from harm. This angel is causing the pain. My pain. It hurts so much. I can barely eat, sleep, even walk. Sometimes the pain is so great all I can do is fall to the ground and cry. A million times a day, I ask myself why? Why did he change so much? Nothing in my life ever seems to stay happy for long and I was happy. I'm starting to think the cycle is starting all over again. It started with my parents fighting. Ended with my burning down the gym. Now, it is starting again. My theory about it being me is starting to sound more right everyday. Everyone who comes in contact with me ends up dead. My first watcher, Merick, then Jenny, Theresa, Ford. Really no need to go on after that. Even those I don't know I feel died because of me. He killed some, all just to hurt me. He succeeded. His plan is to make me crazy. It's going perfectly. I know I have to stay strong for them. For Xander, Willow, Giles, even Cordelia. God, she is no help at all. Her little remarks. They all put me on this pedestal and expect me to be the strong one. How am I supposed when everyone is trying to rip me apart? I'm the object of everyone's obsession. Xander's and Angel's mostly--even Spikes's. They don't know how hard it is. To have the weight of the world on my shoulders plus the added pressure of being a teenage girl. They can never understand. No one. The pain I've gone through is more then anyone should ever experience. But, I had the pleasure of experiencing it. Lucky me. I know I have to kill him. But I can't because it was me who made him. They say everything comes in threes. Angel was number two. Pike was number one. All I can think about is who will be number three. And I wonder if number three will finally grant me my greatest wish. To end the pain. One problem. The only way I know to achieve my greatest wish, is to experience my worst fear; death. ***The End*** So did you like it? Email me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "I, Alone" Date: 03 May 1998 20:29:53 EDT TITLE: "I, Alone" TIME: Directly at the end of/after "I Only Have Eyes For You". NOTES: Some strong profanity. Some sexual innuendo, but nothing worse than you'd see on an NBC sitcom. FEEDBACK: Yes please, to KylenRevik@aol.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I, Alone" By Rachel Brody //It's easier not to be wise And measure these things by your brains.// Buffy reached out, her fingers tracing her lover's cheek. She felt something in her gut twist, knowing this couldn't be him no matter how badly she wanted it to be. She couldn't let herself hope she'd receive anything past what she had already been given. She swallowed hard, wondering what she could do to know for sure. But somehow, she could feel if she spoke the moment would be broken and she would lose him-- again. "Angel," she whispered anyway, her voice shaking ever-so- slightly. He stood for a moment as though he, too, couldn't believe he was so close to her. That he was holding her so tenderly. There was a moment of silence. Then he growled and pushed her away, and Buffy felt the wall coming up at her. She winced, but didn't fight or try to stay up. She let him knock her down and rush away, leaving an emptiness in both the room and in her heart. //I sank into Eden with you. Alone in the church, by and by.// Her knees came up to her chest, and she shook, soft sobs coming up in her throat, breaking through the thin veneer of control she'd barely been able to keep up when he'd been standing so close, and which she had just lost control of now that he was gone. * //I'll read to you here, save your eyes You'll need them, your boat is at sea Your anchor is up, you've been swept away And the greatest of teachers won't hesitate To leave you there by yourself, chained to fate.// She walked slowly, trembling with every step, not knowing how to focus on where she was going or where she had been. Not knowing how to rid herself of the feeling that she was going to break to pieces like a shattering glass, any second. She stepped out of the school, not even noticing that the clouds of wasps had gone. They hadn't hurt him, but he had hurt her, and why was it she couldn't get over what was wrong with her and what was wrong between them? He was a vampire. She was the Slayer. She should never have let herself love him. Everything anyone had ever told her about how she and Angel would be like oil and water was slowly echoing over in her head. The worst part was, a rather large part of her was beginning to seriously wonder, for the first time since Angel had first changed, if maybe everyone else hadn't been right. * //I alone love you I alone tempt you I alone love you Fear is not the end of this!// Angelus felt the roar of his bike's motor as he peeled out of Sunnydale High's parking lot, the harley rumbling beneath him like the monster he himself was. His face was twisted into an expression of complete and utter disgust, and it was all he could do to keep from shuddering hard enough to fall off the damn bike. He felt as though he'd been rolled in a pit of slime, or forced to sit through an episode of that damned kid's show with the giant purple dinosaur. The entire time that ghost-bitch had been in his body, using him, all he had wanted to do was get her out. But he hadn't been able to. She had been controlling him. Not hurting him, but _there_, where she wasn't wanted. Something inside him started to speak up about that, and Angelus beat it back down into submission. The crowning insult, of course, was that he had been forced to touch that _Slayer_ again. Sure, she was one hot little blonde, but damnit...he had a _history_ with her, and if he wasn't going to use it to manipulate her he didn't want anything to do with it. *Why?* the part of him he'd thought he'd beaten back already asked. *It's sick,* his conscious mind answered. *This whole deal, it's fuckin' perverted.* *Is that it, or is it that you think I might win out if you get too close to her?* "Like I care what you say, _Angel_," he muttered as the bike pulled up to his new home. He looked upward, toward where he and Spike and Dru had put their new lair together so far. He'd have to get rid of Spike, he decided. He'd made a mistake when he'd made that one. Spike was too rash, too...well, too damned annoying. Parking his bike in some shrubs, out of sight, Angel entered the building. * //It's easier not to be great And measure these things by your resolve alone in the church by and by to cradle the baby in space And leave you there by yourself chained to fate.// Spike glowered at the door as it slammed, and that arrogant sonuvabitch took his Dru with him on a hunt. He sighed. Angelus really did think altogether much too slowly. He had known Spike since Dru had brought Spike to be made, and he hadn't realized that his childe wasn't going to simply stand by and watch while Angel took Dru away from him? Musing on that thought for a moment, Spike didn't let his glare fade as he tapped his toe carefully inside his boot, ignoring the pain that shot up his leg at the movement. It was nothing compared to what it had been a few weeks ago. He had healed faster than any of them would have suspected, and that fact meant he was going to be able to have...well, one hell of a time, once he finished deciding just what he was going to do to put Angelus through his own, personal hell. Making the decision to get up, Spike slowly, carefully put his foot on the ground. Sometimes he moved too quickly, and the pain in his lower back would amplify remarkably. He wasn't in the mood to feel that right now. For the moment, he was in the mood to have someone _else_ be in pain, and he himself would just enjoy the sound of bones snapping. Putting his full weight on his feet, Spike marveled for the uncounted number of times he had taken this simple ability for granted. All these years, he had never been hurt quite so badly as this Slayer had hurt him. *Hm,* he thought as he stood, wondering where to begin. *Shall I pay the Slayer a visit? I could mebbe rip 'er throat out...gut her an' use 'er entrails as Christmas Tree decorations...put 'er 'ead on a stake an' use it to scare the neighborhood kiddies away...or I could jus' drain one've 'er friends...* Then he remembered, he couldn't do any of those at all. If one of his vampires should see him on the prowl...well, it would be all too easy for them to slip up and mention to Angel that they had seen the Master up and about-- and that would just ruin the lovely surprise he had planned, wouldn't it. He shoved his wheelchair over with a sudden burst of fury, not watching as it hit the ground and left him standing free. After a few moments, the smile on his lips curled upward a bit more, and he chuckled. "My god, Angelus," he said quietly, almost unsure if he was speaking aloud or only in his mind, "You're so damn screwed over, mate, an' you 'aven't even th'slightest clue." The chuckle turned into a laugh, and soon Spike found himself laughing so hard that the pain lingering in his limbs was barely noticeable. Poor Angelus, he thought, with an insincere sort of pity. Poor, stupid, naive, dead, screwed-over Angelus. Too bad Spike really just didn't give a damn, one way or another. * //Yeah, now, we took it back too far Only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn will come runnin' back to you, all these rhythms that you hide only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn.// Something felt uneasy, Angelus thought as he sank his teeth into the squirming toddler Dru had procured for him. Something back there, with Spike... "Angel," Dru sighed, her hands tracing cold lines on the back of his neck as he fed, "are you feelin' any better?" Angelus smiled slightly, finishing off the last few drops of blood from his prey, then let the limp body drop like a rock, standing and moving his hands up and over Dru's arms, pulling her so close their noses were almost touching. "Fine, babe," he said, then he pretended to nip at her, and she giggled in his arms. His smile widened. "Nothing a little bit've fun couldn't fix." "I like fun," Dru said, as though she were imparting him with some great secret. Angel let her lean against him, nestled close. This was what he liked. A girl who was not only hot as fucking hell, but also too messed up to really try much of anything as far as getting herself emotionally attached went. He wondered if that would work with the Slayer-- fuck her head up so far she couldn't think straight, then get her in bed and fuck around with the rest of her. He grinned a little more. "Dru," he said, "Babe, I think that's enough hunting for one night." She put on a pout. "But Angel--" "Spike'll miss you," Angel reminded her. Not like he cared, but having Spike around to baby-sit for Dru when Angel was too busy to care _was_ damn handy. Dru sighed, then nodded. "You're right," she said. Then she gave him a sideways glance. "Can we bring sumthin' 'ome for 'im, though?" she asked. "'E'll be 'ungry..." Angel nodded. "Sure," he said with a grin. "Let's go find some defenseless old lady or something." Not giving Dru a chance to answer him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and directed her away from the body he'd dropped a few moments away. He smiled slightly. That dirty feeling he'd had earlier was almost gone. *Nothing like a little blood 'n gore to put a guy back into a good mood,* he thought, ignoring Dru's chatter about where the best place to find a meal for "her Spike" would be. *Though,* he thought, correcting himself as he thought about the look that had been on the Slayer's face when he had left her at the high school earlier, *breaking people's spirits ranks a close second.* After that thought, Angelus decided he was going to banish thoughts of the Slayer from his mind for the rest of the night, and until at least tomorrow, he was just going to enjoy himself. THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody *Lyrics from "I Alone" by Live, off the "Throwing Copper" CD. Used here without permission. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: BMTHESPIAN Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: story request Date: 03 May 1998 22:33:08 EDT could the person who sent the part story on sunday (5/3) ( besides the story called Angel) please send it to me it got deleted before I had a chance to read it. I'm sorry to post this to the list but I don't know who the author is. Brandi ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes Date: 03 May 1998 20:37:49 -0700 I'm so sorry for all of you who like a Stroke of Luck. But see the problem is, the disk it's on crashed! So, I have to wait to get a Norton program that will fix the disk right up. My father said he can do it no problem. So give it about a week (Hopefully less!) and I'll post the rest of a strok of luck This story is not a Willow or Spike ditty. It's an Angelus and Dru *one of those, how dru went insane stories yah know* Anyways, I hope you like it! It's murder to write! :) Charlotte Sometimes (prologue) "...Through Christ our Lord, Amen." Drusilla stood up from her from her kneeling position at the alter, flatting out the ripples on her long dress, while gently taking hold of her sisters petite wrist. She titled her head to look down at Lydia. Are you ready to go?" Her little sister nodded, trying to contain her childhood enthusiasm as she munched on the communion wafer given to her by the pastor. Smiling, Drusilla gathered her baguette, gently placing the red and blue rosary at the bottom of the bag ensuring that it was safely snug before closing the baguette and turning towards her sister. Looking around for her family. She saw none, and wondered for a minute how long she had kept them long as she prayed. Drusilla lead her sister past the rows and rows of pews, to the fresh night air of their city Prague. She smiled curtly at every man she walked by while they tipped their hats as the two young women walked through the crowed of the midnight mass that had gathered early. "Where's Mummy?" Lydia yawned. Drusilla shook her head, and bent her knees to Lydia's height. She was about to say she was not sure, but instead saw her father coming towards them "Come here Dru. Let's get home" He said, addressing the eldest sister with his soft voice. Drusilla grabbed her sisters wrist again and in the other hand bundled up the side of her dress so she might not get it dirtied. The two girls had to walk fast as they tried to keep up with her father, as he maneuvered through the ever growing crowd of the cathedral. And stepped into the awaiting carriage. ~ "Angelus?" The young girl peered over his shoulder, trying to affix his attention on her. It didn't work "Angelus!" She hissed loudly. He turned towards her, taking a second to let his thoughts focus. Darla peered over him, searching for what he'd been looking for. She easily found it. A young maiden, with long hair, running quickly through the crowed. She rolled her eyes. He always went for the pretty ones. "What's her name?" She asked as she watched the girl get into a rather fancy carriage. Angelus sighed "Drusilla Hurst." His voice carried the name, causing Darla to glance curiously at him, she turned quickly enough to see the dreamy look, and obsessive grin, before it made it's way to and evil thought. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 1) Date: 03 May 1998 20:38:29 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 1) The carriage came to a slow stop and Dru shuddered as the horsemen yelled to the other servants. Drusilla caressed her sisters thick blonde hair, as her head lay asleep on her sister's lap. Coaxing her awake "Drusilla?" Isabelle said to her daughter Her attention was snapped back to her mothers smiling face. "Yes mum?" "Tuck your sister into bed, would you dear?" Dru smiled looking down at the peaceful face of her sister as her eyes fluttered awake, and nodded her head. "Wake up Lydia, where home" She said gently Isabelle smiled, she couldn't help but think of how lucky she was to have such a gracious daughter. Her thoughts had been plagued as of late though. Drusilla was nearly a maid of 17, and the people had begun to talk. She'd been putting off with marriage for long enough. As much as she hated to admit it, she had to give her Dru away. It was time she be married, before people started to gossip, and her Dru got a bad reputation, at such a young age. The horseman helped out the three ladies, lifting Lydia up into Drusilla's waiting arms. "Dru?" asked the small voice of her sister. "Come on, Lydia. Your old enough to walk" Drusilla said and she sat her young sister on the ground. Lydia immediately began to pout "Carry me Dru!" "Lydia!" Drusilla whispered as though ashamed of her sisters' childish ways. Lydia put her arms up of her head "Please!" She couldn't be denied Dru thought as she leaned down to pick up her sisters small body. Drusilla's mother gave Dru a small grin, as she helped hold the door open for her two daughters. ~ Angelus stood outside of the estate, hooded by the darkness, as he watched Drusilla lift her sister, easily hearing their conversations as they stood over fifty yards away from him. "D'you want me to stay?" Darla asked as she circled in front of him, snapping the branch of a tree. "No" Angelus said, truthful. "I'll be fine" He added after a minute, not wanting to hurt Darla's fragile feelings. Darla nodded, looking back at Drusilla Hursts' house. The forth girl in these 5 decades to steal her angels heart. Angelus noted Darla's departure but made no move to acknowledge it. Waiting for the doors to slam completely shut, he looked around the large Hurst mansion. He had to walk around the large building before he stopped at Drusilla's bedroom. It wasn't hard to find. He stared at the empty bedroom, as he waited for her to enter, and light a candle so he might see the detail of the decorum and gaze at her face. ~ "Now Lydia. You must go to sleep! If you don't, I'll be quite upset!" Drusilla said, as her sister yawned complaining that she was not in the least bit tired. "Sing me a song Dru!" Lydia said, bouncing straight up in her bed "Sing me the song mummy sings!" Lydia began to sway "Run, and Catch. The lamp is--" "Lydia, please. I'm very tired. I'll sing to you some other time." Her sister frowned. "Promise?" "Cross my heart" Drusilla said making a gesture with her hand over her chest. Lydia gave Dru a quick kiss on the cheek and hug her tight "You're my favorite sister in the whole world Dru" She smiled "I'm your only sister" Drusilla laughed back. They parted and Dru tucked Lydia back into bed. "But if I did have another sister, you'd still be my favorite." Drusilla smiled at her sister. The dimple on her cheeks came out in contrast to her blonde hair. She looked just like their father. Dru blew out the candle "Sleep tight" she whispered and walked out of the room, shutting the door lightly. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 2) Date: 03 May 1998 20:39:02 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 2) Angelus' head shot up, as a candle light came on in Drusilla's room. He watched as Drusilla stand their staring at her face in the mirror, Her eyes were large and pure, she looked like a saint. Angelus smiled as he remembered the first time he had seen Drusilla. He'd been out on a hunt with Darla. He plan was to kill them Drusilla and her Sister. But one look at her face. At her innocence and purity... He couldn't kill her! Not yet. Perhaps not ever. ~ Drusilla knew what her parents were doing. They were looking for a suitor, someone to care for Drusilla now that she was of age. In all truth she had been of age for the past three years. But she didn't want to married, she loved her sister, and wanted to stay here with her. Grabbing a hand full of water from the fresh pitcher the servants had left her she cleansed her face. Drusilla sighed as she walked to the closet, looking for a nightgown to wear. Looking up and down her clothes, there were so many. She could easily tell them all apart, what with them being her clothes. She thought of her sister. Would she pass these clothes down to her younger? Or, knowing her parents, they would throw them all away as soon as Dru left, and buy Lydia a fresh new closet. She picked up a white, modest nightgown, that came up around her neck, and ended at her ankles. ~ Angel thrust to the side, as his eyes suddenly lost track of his latest obsession, he smiled as her watched her take off the many layers of clothing she was forced to wear as a noble woman. It hardly was worth it. She'd be just as perfect without the ton of clothes she wore. He never understood the great drive the country put on looks these days. In a couple year's it'd all be but a passing phase, what was the point? Angelus' body moved to the side once again as he watched as Drusilla maid two braids in her long hair and tied a large gold ribbons at the bottoms, to keep it out of her face as she slept. She took as minute as she moved the numerous amount of dolls off her bed, onto the large rug that lay under her feet. She kept one though. He watched as she lifted the doll into her arms, and situated herself before blowing out the candles. Angelus waited for a minute, reliving the last few moments he had just seen, and turned on his heel, she was so pretty, and perfect. The fact that she live with her parents means she must be a maiden still. He smiled. A perfect, beautiful, young, virgin. He started to walk. He should wait, he told himself. Waiting's half the fun, half of the trill comes from perfect timing. He should wait. He should... But would he? Angelus turned back towards her house, and towards her window. He looked at the stair way that lead to two rooms below Dru's and then to her bedroom. He took a deep breathe. He could wait. He would wait. Timing was everything. It still is. He turned back towards the house and began to walk up the stair way and gazed into her room. She lay snuggled under her covers, holding the golden haired doll. Angelus smiled, and jumped on to the balcony of her room, to get a better look at this sleeping beauty. Her hair was so long, and beautiful. She had had it down early today, it was flowing past her waist. But now she had it up, not quiet as pretty. He couldn't see her eyes. But that didn't matter, he could remember them. A brimming chestnut hue. "Grrrr" Angelus looked down off the balcony, to the large dog the stand at the bottom of the staircase threatening to come upwards. Angelus smiled, and turned to look towards the sleeping Drusilla again "we'll meet soon." He sighed. "but first, you deserve a little fun" Angel turned to growl back at the dog, his face distorted and mangled. The dog immediately attacked, and ran right into Angelus' awaiting arms. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fear No Evil (3/5) Date: 04 May 1998 05:46:50 PDT Fear No Evil (3/5) (This was a 4 parter, but I changed that.) by Chris Winslow TITLE: Fear No Evil AUTHOR: blueeaglex@hotmail.com RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Well, what's so fun about reading a complete summary before actually reading the piece? DISTRIBUTION: Sure, send it where ever you want DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from or the movie or show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then, you already knew that, didn't you? FEEDBACK: Sure, go for it. Send it to me and not to the whole list, if you could. As usual, the library at Sunnydale High was extremely quiet for such early hours. Giles sat at a desk reading through a large tome, looking up from his book every few minutes to check the time. Not a sound was to be heard in the room, although outside the door students were hurrying to their first class. Giles’ solitude was interrupted as the door to the library opened with a loud squeak. He snapped to attention, seeing Willow enter the room. "You really need to oil that door," she said, walking towards Giles with a depressed look on her face. Buffy followed her friend into the room and shut the door. "Willow!" Giles said, closing the book quickly. "You’re just the person I’ve been looking for." Seeing Buffy standing there, he changed the subject briefly and asked, "Oh, Buffy, how is your mother doing? Has there been any change in her status?" Buffy shook her head. "She’s still dead to the world….but I know that any day she’s going to wake up and she’ll be just fine." Giles and Willow glanced at each other, thinking the same thing. Buffy’s reassurances that her mother was "going to be just fine" was almost her mantra nowadays. Giles filed a mental note to discuss this with Buffy later. Turning back to Willow, he said, "The suicide of Jeff Brooks was in all the papers this morning. Am I correct in assuming that the death was not exactly how it was described in the papers?" Willow nodded, and then explained what had happened the day before. She trembled as she spoke, recalling everything that had happened…everything up to the point where Jeff had blown his own brains out. "Grace and Larry don’t seem to remember what they did," Willow said. "Could they be repressing their memories because what happened was so traumatic?" Giles shook his head. "I think the cause is probably more simple than that…some force of evil is at work here. I just wish I knew which one it was!" "Well, I’m off to class," Buffy said, turning to leave. "Have fun with your research." She left before Willow and Giles could say anything. "Is it just me, or is Buffy…not very Buffy-like?" Willow asked, staring straight at Giles. He nodded. "I think the stress of the last few days has gotten to her. I’m sure it would be traumatic enough to merely have your mother in a coma, but she’s also still dealing with the—loss of Angel." He opened the book he had been reading before. "I hope to have a heart to heart conversation with her tonight while she’s patrolling the cemetery." Willow looked over Giles’ shoulder as he flipped through the book aimlessly. Then she shoved her hand forward, holding on to a certain page. "Read this," she said excitedly, pointing at a certain article. Giles frowned and then read the piece, glancing back up to Willow as he finished. "Extraordinary. I’ve been looking through this book all morning! How can you have found this out so quickly?" Willow shrugged, and then grinned. "You know what they say about talent. If you’ve got it, you’ve got it; if you don’t, you don’t." "Well, in any case, I think you’ve stumbled across the truth about the problems that have been plaguing Sunnydale these past few days. I just hope we can find a way to stop it—before more people are hurt." In an abandoned warehouse on the edge of Sunnydale, a young couple perched on a crate full of cans of gasoline. The two were embracing passionately, their lips locked together as they made out. The young man pushed himself on top of the woman, ready to take their relationship further. "Barry," the young woman complained. "Are you sure what we’re doing is right?" Barry released his grip on Carla, and she was so startled she fell off the crate. "Damn, woman! Your yammering is the best birth control money can’t buy! I thought you said you were ready for sex?" Carla stood up, brushing the dirt off of her. "I am, Barry…but not if you’re going to get angry about it!" She turned away from her boyfriend and began to cry quietly to herself. Softening just a little, Barry stood up and moved towards Carla. "Hey, baby," he cooed in her ear. "I’m sorry. Now how can I make things up to you?" She looked at him, unsure if she wanted to take him back. "You can start by saying you’ll drop all this nonsense about Phobos and get back to a normal life." Barry shoved Carla hard, and this time she fell back onto the crate. "Are you crazy?" he yelled. "Babe, we’ve just STARTED what we’ve set out to do. We can’t go back now!" Carla sniffed as she sat up. "People are dying because of what we’ve done. Don’t you feel even the teensy weensiest bit guilty?" Barry shook his head. "First of all, PEOPLE haven’t died—one person has died. And second of all, you know this is all for the best. We need the sacrifices for our spell, and without them, we’re going to be white trash for the rest of our lives. Is that something you want for us?" Carla began to shake her head back and forth. "You know I want everything you do. But I can’t do it anymore, Barry! I just can’t! People are dead because of me…because of us!" She stood up and began walking towards the door. "Where do you think you’re going?" Barry called out towards her. "I’m through with this, Barry," Carla called back, without even turning around. "If you really love me, you’ll follow me. Otherwise, see ya!" As Carla slammed the door behind her, Barry’s frown spread across his face. Picking up a black book from behind the crate he had been sitting on, he opened the book to page 69, reading the spell carefully. "You shouldn’t have done that, Carla," he whispered to himself. As his eyes began to glow a greenish color, he said in a louder, fiercer voice, "Now she’s going to have to pay." Willow walked up to the janitor’s supply closet, rapping on the door. There was no answer, and so she called out, "Xander? Xander? I know you’re in there…come on out!" There was a muffled sound, but nothing that Willow could distinguish. "If you don’t come out now, I’ll yell out here in the hallway so everyone will know who you had a crush on in the third grade," she yelled out, a bit louder. The door opened suddenly, and Xander’s hand reached out, pulling Willow into the closet. Startled, Willow just stood there as Xander shut the door. She was not surprised to see Cordelia standing there, her lipstick a bit messed up. "How did you know I was in here?" Xander asked. "Puh-lease," Willow said, waving her hand. "Everyone in school knows that you and Cordelia use this as your mating ground." "Xander and I do not mate!" Cordelia said, clenching her teeth as she faced Willow. "Make-out, yes. But mate, as in the full body nasty? I don’t think so!" She opened the door to the closet. "See you later," she said casually, leaving the room. "She has the hots for me!" Xander said proudly. Willow rolled her eyes. "Now what is so important that made it necessary for you to interrupt my—lunch date?" Willow quickly filled him in on what Giles had told her a few hours before. As Willow finished her little speech, Xander began scratching his head. "So, let me get this straight," Xander said. "Some bozo out there is trying to resurrect this ancient god? I thought those Greek myths were just that—myths." Willow nodded. "It’s not just one bozo—there’s a whole cult of bozos. It’s called the cult of Phobus." She handed Xander a picture, which he examined. It showed a man in a long, dark robe, and the only part of his face that was showing was his eyes…which were glowing green. "He’s sorta shy about showing his face, I see," Xander commented. "I can understand that, if the rest of him is as ugly as his legs." In the picture, his legs were purple scales. "He was the ancient god of fear," Willow said. "Only he wasn’t really a god—he was a demon, and he was banished from Earth about two hundred years ago. Every ten years there’s a three day window of opportunity to bring him back to Earth." "And the window is open now," Xander finished. "Just peachy!" He handed the picture back to Willow. "But if he’s the god of fear, then what has been happening to everyone?" "The cult of Phobus needs three sacrifices to bring him back," Willow explained. "They’ve used a spell to take away people’s inhibitions….it makes people not afraid to do anything. That’s why Buffy’s mom jumped off the bridge—" "And why the threesome were playing Russian roulette instead of, say, strip poker," Xander said. "Okay, I understand that all now…so what now? How do we stop these bad boys before they resurrect this demon creature, which could probably destroy half the planet in a heartbeat?" The school bell began to ring. "Darn, time for class. I bet if we didn’t have school these life threatening demons would be a lot easier to handle!" "Giles doesn’t know how to stop them," Willow said. Xander, who had been about ready to walk out of the closet, said, "Say that again?" "Giles doesn’t know how to stop them," Willow repeated. "He’s missing the page in the book that explains what to do next—so right now there’s nothing we can do." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fear No Evil (4/5) Date: 04 May 1998 08:29:00 PDT Fear No Evil (4/5) (This was a 4 parter, but I changed that.) by Chris Winslow TITLE: Fear No Evil AUTHOR: blueeaglex@hotmail.com RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Well, what's so fun about reading a complete summary before actually reading the piece? This section is very action oriented. DISTRIBUTION: Sure, send it where ever you want DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but then, you already knew that, didn't you? FEEDBACK: Sure, go for it. Send it to me and not to the whole list, if you could. In the distance, a wolf howled. Giles jumped up briefly, a bit startled by the sound. Buffy, however, was unfazed by the noise, and proceeded past several headstones, with Giles right behind her. "I should be with my mother tonight, Giles," Buffy said, not at all happy to be here. "She needs me." Giles raised his eyebrows. "With all due respect, Buffy, your mother is in a coma, and the doctors can handle her just fine for the next hour or so without you. Sunnydale, however, suffers whenever you leave your job for even one night." Buffy ignored Giles and jumped forward, having heard a noise in front of her. The "noise" turned out to only be an owl, which had settled on the ground for a moment. Startled by Buffy's sudden arrival, the owl flew off and out of sight. "Buffy, there's something I simply must discuss with you," Giles said hesitantly. "It's gonna have to wait," a mocking voice said from behind them. Buffy flipped around instinctively, and saw a child coming towards her....a vampire child. She looked ready to bite Buffy, but the Slayer was ready for her. "You vamps are getting younger and younger," Buffy commented, as the vampire flung herself at Buffy. "But pitting me against you just isn't fair; this is child's play!" She plunged the stake she was holding into the vampire's chest, and the vampire screamed, vanishing and leaving behind nothing but dust. "Excellent work," Giles said, stepping forward after having just stepped away a moment ago. "But, as I was saying, Buffy, we simply must talk about---" "Am I interrupting something?" came another voice. Again ignoring Giles, Buffy turned suddenly and saw a blond vampire walking towards her trepidatiously. He stood near a tree, almost begging Buffy to come after him. And come after him she did: rushing towards the vampire with the stake in her hand, she was caught off guard when the vampire pulled the stake out of her hand without warning. A bit surprised, she only barely managed to jump backwards before the vampire could shove the stake through HER heart. Frustrated, the vampire broke the stake in half, tossing it behind him. Giles watched on as Buffy did a somersalt in the air, landing next to the broken stake. Before she could pick it up, though, she was attacked from behind, and thrown to the ground. The vampire grinned as he held the broken stake above Buffy's head, ready to kill her with one downward slice. His hand moved down, and Buffy screamed out as the wooden stake reached her heart. Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Giles had managed to pick up the other half of the broken stake without being noticed, and he plunged it deep into the vampire's back. Buffy nearly fainted as she realized she hadn't died. "Thanks, Giles," Buffy said, in a small whisper, as she stood back up. Giles only looked at her, a bit angry. "Is that all you're going to say?" he said. "You nearly got yourself killed. Buffy, something is terribly wrong with you lately. You do realize that, don't you? Now tell me, what is it?" "Nothing's wrong, Giles," Buffy said, looking off. "I'm fine." She glanced at her watch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've had enough death defying stunts for one night. I'm going to see my mother." Buffy ran off, leaving Giles alone...and very puzzled. Walking through the halls of Sunnydale Hospital, Buffy realized how much she still hated hospitals. Even though she had somewhat gotten over her fear of hospitals, she would never think of them as a good place; to her, hospitals were places where people died. But she wasn't going to let her mother die; as far as she was concerned, it wasn't even a possibility. Coming to her mother's room, Buffy stopped as she looked through the small glass window, seeing someone unfamiliar in the room with her mother. The young woman she saw was a few years older than her, and had long dark brown hair and brown eyes. Curious, Buffy opened the door only slightly, and listened in on what the woman was saying to her comatose mother. The woman was crying softly. "I know you don't know me," she said. "I've never met you before...before that night you had your accident. I didn't mean for anything bad to happen to you." Buffy's eyes opened wide, not sure what to make of what she was hearing. "I told Barry that I didn't want to hurt people," Carla said, whispering just loud enough that Buffy could hear from the doorway. "But he doesn't listen to me...he hardly ever listens to me anymore." Buffy opened the doorway a bit more, and it creaked. Carla looked up in shock, seeing Buffy standing there. She was on her feet at once, heading for the door. "I hope your mother feels better," Carla muttered, as she left the room. "Wait!" Buffy said. "Who are you? And how do you know my mother?" She was sure that the woman had something to do with her mother's accident, but wasn't just going to tell her that now. Carla pushed Buffy away gently. "I gotta go," she said, stuttering a little. Buffy watched Carla for a moment as she walked off quickly. As Carla stepped into the elevator, Buffy made up her mind: she had to follow her. Rushing down the hallway, Buffy yelled into the elevator, "Who are you? I need to know!" Carla only glanced down at her feet, avoiding eye contact. Buffy tried stepping into the elevator, but the door had shut too quickly. With no time to lose, Buffy raced towards the stairs. She took the stairs two at a time, knocking down a doctor as she hurried towards the ground floor. "Excuse me, miss," the doctor said angrily. "Watch where you're going!" "Sorry," Buffy said, distracted. She continued running down the stairs as quickly as possible, hoping to catch up with the woman. The elevators in the hospital were faster than Buffy had thought. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she turned towards the glass door, and saw the woman was already rushing towards her car. Buffy turned and ran towards the door. As she reached the door, she saw the woman glance backwards towards her. The woman began to run, and as Buffy left the hospital, she saw that the woman was already in her car. "I just want to talk to you," Buffy said, standing in front of the small car that the woman was driving. The woman was in the driver's seat, and she was looking at Buffy as though she was very afraid of something. Carla considered her options...and then pressed her foot to the gas pedal. With a gasp, Buffy jumped onto the car, landing on the windshield. The woman pretended as though Buffy wasn't even there, and continued to drive out of the parking lot, with Buffy on the windshield. Moving off of the windshield, Buffy tapped on the driver's seat window of the car. "This would be a lot easier if you just stopped the car," she yelled. People on the sidewalks stared at the car as it speeded along. "Just go away," Carla screamed. "I can't talk to you!" Just thinking about what Barry would do to her if she told Buffy anything made Carla even more afraid. Still ignoring Buffy, Carla just drove towards the warehouse, hoping Barry would be able to help her. Barry, however, was not at the warehouse; he was standing in the front of his living room, with all of his followers surrounding him. He was dressed in a black robe, and his robe covered all of his face except for his eyes, which were glowing green. "The time has come for the second sacrifice," he shouted. "Carla has chosen to go to the other side...and now is the time for us to show her what we do to traitors." The other members of the cult nodded solemnly. Barry whispered, "Come to us, Phobus, master of all that is feared! Come to us, now, and take what is rightfully yours!" In the speeding car, Carla suddenly blinked, and looked over to the window, where Buffy was still trying unsuccessfully to get in. Her eyes glazed over, as Barry's spell took control of her body. Suddenly, she felt a lot less intimidated by Buffy...and felt as though she could do anything, no matter how dangerous. She pressed her foot even harder on the gas pedal, and the car zoomed forward at over eighty miles per hour. Buffy, who had just been about to slam her hand into the glass and break it, struggled to stay on top of the car as it moved even faster. Looking into the car, she saw that Carla's eyes had shifted. Carla put her foot onto the gas pedal again, and this time she held it there. Buffy looked forward, and saw that the car was speeding towards the abandoned warehouse...and it didn't look like she was going to stop. Buffy brought back her hand, then hit the glass window with all the energy she had. The window shattered easily, with shards of glass landing in Carla's hair. Even though the glass cut Carla's cheek and made her bleed, she continued to drive forward. "You have to get out of here," Buffy insisted, trying to pull Carla away from the steering wheel. "Stop the car before it's too late!" But it was too late. Seeing that she couldn't get Carla out of the car in time, Buffy jumped from the car, landing safely. Carla screamed out, "Wheee!!!" just as the car slammed into the warehouse. As the car continued to move forward, breaking through the old walls, the car slammed into several crates of unused gasoline. Buffy looked back at the warehouse just in time to see it explode, the gasoline catching on fire. Buffy just stood there in shock--the only clue she had to the weirdness in Sunnydale had just died. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Chris Winslow" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mystery Meat (1/4) Date: 04 May 1998 15:12:25 PDT Mystery Meat (Prologue: 1/4) Author: Chris Winslow (blueeaglex@hotmail.com) Rating: PG-13 Summary: Willow and Buffy are the main characters, although others do show up. WARNING: Do not read this while eating hot dogs, kielbasa, frankfurters, or anything similar. Heck, do yourself a favor and don't read this while eating at all! Consider yourself warned. The first thing that Willow noticed, as she stood in the lunchline of the Sunnydale High cafeteria, was that the line was moving much faster than usual. Stepping up on her tiptoes to look over the tall student in front of her, she saw that she wasn't just imagining things: the line was moving along at a steady pace. "So what trash masquerading as food are they going to fill us with today?" Buffy asked, as the line continued to move forward. The menu, which was normally printed out on a small board next to the line, was conspicuously absent. Willow shrugged, then took another step forward in the line. Reaching the front of the line, Willow and Buffy both peered through the glass, checking out the day's choices for lunch. "Not much of a selection," Willow said. Buffy couldn't disagree: the lunch counter was filled with hot dogs, although the hot dogs looked slightly darker than usual. On the far end of the lunch counter there were cans of pop...and that was all the selection for the day. "Uh, ma'am?" asked a timid girl standing behind Buffy. "Do you have anything except these hot dogs? I'm a vegetarian." The lunchlady swirled around, and Buffy and Willow recoiled as they saw her face. She looked like she was at least eighty. Her hair was cut short, and what was left of it was as white as snow. It was impossible for any of them to guess what she had looked like when she was younger, because her face now looked like one giant wrinkle. "So?" the lunchlady sneered. "If you don't like my food, then bring your own." She walked back into the kitchen, bringing out a steaming plate of hot dogs, which she dumped on top of the other hot dogs. "Someone clearly has an attitude problem," Buffy said, as she and Willow sat down at their table. They both looked down at their plates, neither of them eager to dig in. Willow hesitantly picked up a napkin, and dropped it onto her hotdog. The grease covering the hotdog soaked through the napkin. "Eww!" Willow said, tossing the napkin into the garbage can. Although she didn't see it, inside the garbage can the napkin sizzled, steam rising from within. "I hate grease," she complained. Buffy just shrugged, piling a small stack of napkins on top of her hotdog. The grease soaked through all of the napkins, leaving her with a stack of wet napkins. "Well, so much for MY appetite," Buffy said. She held out her hotdog to toss it into the trash, but just as her hand threw it towards the can, her hand somehow missed its mark--and the hotdog landed back on her own plate. Willow, in the meantime, was poking her hotdog with a fork, as though she expected it to jump. Lifting the entire hotdog with a fork, she hesitantly chewed a bit off the end of her hotdog....and then swallowed. Her mouth lit up happily. "This is actually pretty good, Buffy!" was what she tried to say next. Instead, though, Willow was incomprehensible, because she shoved the entire hotdog in her mouth right before she spoke. "What?" Buffy asked. She also poked her hotdog, and a spurt of hot grease hit her in the eye. "The food here has always been disgusting, but never dangerous," she commented, wiping her eye. "What did you say, Willow?" "The hot dogs are actually good," Willow said again. "Try it!" Again Buffy shrugged....and then lifted her hotdog to her mouth. She bit in hesitantly, and as she did, she felt a warm fuzzy feeling all over--and then smiled. From the kitchen, Mrs. Murphy looked out at the students eating her food. Even the most pickiest eaters, she could see, were eating her food--and since that made them happy, she smiled as well. Her happiness was interrupted as the shy girl who had bothered her before, Sarah Ford, walked back into the kitchen, carrying an empty plate. "What's your problem?" Mrs. Murphy snarled. Sarah recoiled, seeing that Mrs. Murphy was missing most of her teeth. "Uh..." Sarah began. "One of my friends told me...well, he said you're required to give me something else to eat, since I don't eat meat. Now, I don't know if that's true, but..." Mrs. Murphy stared at Sarah, causing her to freeze. "Come back here," Mrs. Murphy said with a sigh. "I'll find you something to eat." Sarah walked back towards the back sink, taking small steps as she feared the lunchlady's wrath. Mrs. Murphy had only been around for a few days, and in that time Sarah had been forced to go without food for lunch because Mrs. Murphy only ever cooked hot dogs, kielbasa, or sausages. She started to relax, hoping that Mrs. Murphy had a decent substitute. "Would you mind putting this dish in the sink?" Mrs. Murphy said casually, handing Sarah a small plate. Sarah nodded and walked towards the sink. She dropped her hand into the sink, along with the plate, and released the plate from her hand. As she started to bring her hand out of the water, though, she felt something within the water grab on to her....and she began to struggle. Mrs. Murphy just watched on as Sarah began screaming out, struggling to free her hand from whatever was holding on to her. "Help!" Sarah screamed. "Mrs. Murphy, help me!" Then, Mrs. Murphy put back her head and began to laugh. Before Sarah could think about what was going on, a hand reached out from within the water of the sink--and grabbed on to her head tightly. Sarah's head was pulled underwater. She tried to struggle, but it was too late....she was dead. "Mrs. Murphy?" She looked up quickly, recognizing the voice as belonging to Principal Snyder. "Mrs. Murphy, is there something wrong?" "Everything's fine," she said quickly. "Couldn't be better." Sarah's dead body dropped to the ground, her face and hand sopping wet. Working quickly, Mrs. Murphy bent down and lifted Sarah up off of the floor...carrying her body over to a large metal machine at the far end of the kitchen. She lifted the lid, dropping Sarah's body into the huge container as though she weighed very little. "If everything's fine then you shouldn't have any problem with me coming in," Snyder said, as he walked in. Mrs. Murphy dropped the lid on the machine, closing it before Snyder could see what was going on. "As you can see, I just spilled some water," the decrepit old lady said, pointing to the mess. "I'll have it cleaned up in no time." "What is this machine?" Snyder asked, pointing at the metal contraption. "I don't remember ever seeing this in here. This isn't out of the school's budget, is it?" "No, I paid for it myself," Mrs. Murphy said with a smile. "It's what I use to make our lunches." "Ah. Good." The principal beamed. "The last thing I'd want is to take another paycut. Can you believe they made me take a paycut so they could use the money to buy new books for the students? It's not like any of those brats care about reading anyways!" As Mrs. Murphy smiled, hoping he would leave the room, Snyder asked, "I'm starving. Would you happen to have any more hot dogs?" She shook her head. "I can have one for you in just a moment, though...you'd be surprised how quickly this machine works." Snyder nodded, and Mrs. Murphy pressed a small button on the side of the machine. Lights began to flash, and then the contraption began to whir. Inside the machine, small knives began to spin. Just at that moment, Sarah's eyes opened--she wasn't as dead as Mrs. Murphy had believed. Before she could scream or shout, she saw the knives coming towards her...and it was too late. Snyder glanced down at his wristwatch. "When is this going to get going? I don't have all day, you know....the school board actually expects me to do some work every now and then, believe it or not." The machine stopped flashing, and a loud BEEP erupted from the machine. "All finished," Mrs. Murphy said proudly. A small compartment suddenly came out of the device's top, and Mrs. Murphy opened it, showing off the small hot dogs inside to Snyder. "Careful, they may be still hot," the lunchlady warned. Snyder paid her no attention, and shoved a hot dog in his mouth. "These are pretty good," he said. "Not bad at all!" Only Mrs. Murphy noticed the small red droplet on Snyder's chin....but if he had noticed it, he would have thought it was ketchup. Only Mrs. Murphy knew what it really was, and she wasn't telling. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cloaked in Darkness: Chapter 3/? Date: 04 May 1998 17:53:03 PDT TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and The Master gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! Although it starts off a bit rocky, but I assure you they will end up together in this one! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till 'Prophesy Girl' here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, say just after the 'Angel' episode and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ Chapter 3: Encounter with a Vampire Gabriella looked around the place in interest. She had meant to book into a hotel and sleep, but the music had drawn her here. Plus, the fact that she was curious where the teenagers of this town hung out. The ‘Bronze’ was the perfect place to get away from it all and hang with your friends. She spotted the guys that had bumped past her earlier but walked past them without a second glance, heading for the stairs. It was crowded that she could barely see anything and the second floor looked like the perfect place to get a clear view. Gabriella walked gracefully up the stairs, aware that she was being watched by everyone she passed, but used to it. She sat down at a table that was miraculously clear and looked over the balcony to the dance floor below. It was filled with dancing couples and she sighed, resting her cheek on her hand as her green eyes roved over the teenagers. "Excuse me, that’s our seat" a polite voice said. Gabriella looked up in surprise, to see a blonde girl in a black mini-skirt and red top, her hair in a pony-tail. Next to her was an equally blonde guy who could have been her brother but obviously was not from the way he had his arm around her waist. "Oh, I am sorry, I did not realize" Gabriella apologized and got up quickly. The blonde girl looked her over curiously, but Gabriella felt no anger. There was something about the blonde that was strange, Gabriella could sense it. In fact, she had been sensing it since she entered the place but had been ignoring it. "Hey, that’s fine, you didn’t know." the guy said with a slightly smitten smile. Gabriella saw that the blonde girl had also seen the smile and was not pleased by it. Gabriella inclined her head, avoiding the glare from the blonde’s light green eyes and walked off slowly. "You didn’t have to be so rude Buffy, she only..." the guy’s voice faded as Gabriella walked further away and stood to the side of the top of the stairs, leaning on the balcony rail. So the blonde was called Buffy, an unusual name, but Gabriella had heard many strange names in New York and she couldn’t see how the rest of the world could be any different. Something hit her senses hard and she looked down directly into the dark eyes of a guy sitting at one of the tables near the dance floor. Their eyes locked and her’s were wide and startled, the pools of green darkening slightly. He was absolutely gorgeous, dark hair and eyes that you could drown in. Gabriella wrenched her eyes away, feeling as if an eternity had gone by but it had really been but a few seconds. She reluctantly looked back only to see that his seat was now empty. Tiredness suddenly hit her and she slumped slightly, the music felt too loud and the laughing grated on her nerves. Gabriella straightened and started down the stairs quickly, feeling eyes on her again as she reached the bottom and headed back out the door. The night air hit her. The breeze cooled her face and she walked down the alley and back onto the street with a relieved sigh. "Now, where is a hotel when you need it?" she asked herself out loud. Someone touched her arm, grabbing it tightly. She was spun around to meet the eyes of a guy in his early 20’s. He was handsome but there was something about him she didn’t trust. Gabriella said nothing as she was dragged away and into an alley further down the street. "This was WAY too easy, aren’t you even going to scream baby?" the guy purred and she saw his face change. It was hideous and she gasped as she saw his long sharp teeth in the moonlight. "A Vampire? This can not be!" Gabriella yelled, almost to herself. The creature grinned in satisfaction at her apparent shock, though he was unsure about the other emotion he saw in her eyes. "I love it when they scream, it makes it so much more satisfying. And you’re so beautiful too, maybe I should bring you into the family." the creature growled and pulled her closer. Gabriella’s mind had been blank with shock until then but she suddenly began to struggle violently at his words. "Let me go!" she cried out, trying to keep his mouth away from her throat. She put a hand over his face and shoved it away with all her strength but he just laughed. She was becoming desperate but something held her back, she was still stunned by what was happening and didn’t seem to be able to think coherently. "But the party’s just begun!" he roared with laughter and then something wrenched him roughly away from Gabriella and she turned away, closing her eyes and panting rapidly, trying to calm her heart. She didn’t even want to see who had pulled the creature away and merely listened as a struggle ensued and then a painful grunt and then nothing. Another hand descended onto her arms and she tensed, whirling around, her wide eyes clashed with those of the gorgeous guy from the nightclub and she blinked in surprise. "Ah, thank you" she whispered, knowing that he had taken care of the vampire. The guy smiled and he looked even more gorgeous than before, it lit up his eyes and she felt her heart beating madly. "You’re welcome, he didn’t hurt you did he?" the guy was all concern as he looked her over and then reached out to touch a spot on her arm, she winced with pain and looked down to see the vampire’s sharp claws had ripped through her top just above the elbow. It was bloody and she could clearly see the long cuts beneath the material, she pulled her arm up for a closer look and then noticed that the guy was turned away slightly, his eyes averted. "Are YOU all right" she asked his softly, stepping closer and he jerked his head up to meet her eyes, startled at the question. "Yes, I’m fine" his eyes went again to her bloody arm and then he moved towards the end of the alley, scanning it before motioning her forward. He walked with her down the street, standing next to her protectively and she smiled to herself. "We need to get something to bind those cuts, where is your hotel?’ the guy asked and she stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk, hands on her hips. "How do you know I have a hotel?" she demanded, he stopped too and faced her, dark shadows angling off of his face sharply. "I’ve lived here a while and I’ve seen a lot of people, you’re new" the guy said and Gabriella stared at him for a moment before continuing to walk. "You are right, I AM new to Sunnydale...but I don’t have a hotel yet" she admitted and felt his sidelong glance, he seemed to hesitate saying something and her eyes flicked curiously in his direction. "What is it?" she asked softly and he appeared startled and troubled at the same time that she had sensed he wanted to say something. "You Ah, don’t seem to be freaked out about that vampire very much" he told her and she looked away, biting her bottom lip slightly. "Maybe it is shock, I really did not expect to be attacked by a vampire" there was something in her voice that made him stare intently at her, but her face remained averted. Angel drank in her features and thought how beautiful she was, her long dark hair swayed around her like a cloak and he knew if he offered his jacket to keep her warm, she would refuse. Her eyes were a stunning dark green and even in the ‘Bronze’ he had felt as if he were drowning in them, she was stunningly beautiful and he suddenly wondered if she had come alone. "Did you come to Sunnydale by yourself?" Angel had to ask, but casually and her eyes were wary as she looked up at him. "Yes, I did. My name is Gabriella by the way" she told him softly and he murmured the name under his breath, even her name was beautiful. "I’m Angel" he said with no hesitation, he rarely liked to tell anyone his name and wondered that he had told Gabriella so readily. She opened her mouth to reply when two figures barreled past them, Gabriella saw that they were teens about 17 or 18 and they were running like a demon was after them. She looked around and realized Angel and she had walked to a park, as she watched the two youths run into the tree’s. A split-second later something came speeding after them and Gabriella had very little time to see it was the girl from the ‘Bronze’. "Buffy!" Angel yelled and Gabriella blinked as he sped after her without hesitation, he called something over his shoulder and Gabriella nodded to herself. "Stay here. Right" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sah (by way of sah ) (by way of sah ) Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: List rules Date: 05 May 1998 10:07:24 -0400 (EDT) Welcome! This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," both the TV series and the movie. To ensure that we all get to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following guidelines, and please save them for future reference. 1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related to Buffy. Crossovers are great, and expected, but general vampire/monster stories that aren't in the Buffy universe and don't use Buffy characters belong somewhere else. 2. Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist. Please put "DISCUSS" in your subject line. 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If a story is rated "R" for language/violence, indicate this in an introduction. For example, "There's a really bloody fight scene at the end of this part" or "if you don't like dismemberment, stop reading now!" If there's chance that someone might be disturbed by something in your story (even if it's not rated R) please include some kind of warning up front. 9. And last, but not least, the listowners reserve the right to deny subscription (new, renewed, or continued) to the list for any individual(s). PLEASE NOTE: not following any or all of these rules will get you the following: **First offense: offender is unsubscribed for one week. **Second offense: offender is unsubscribed to the Buffyfic list for a minimum of three months. **If the offender returns and does it again, they're offlist permanently. As noted above, posting sexually explicit material is the exception -- you go straight to permanent unsubbing. Again, welcome! If you have any questions about these rules, please contact either one of us offlist. If you have subscription problems or questions, the fastest way to get help is to e-mail one of us at the addresses below, at the kirby@xmission.com addy which is the "official" e-mail owner of the list. Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) & sah (romana@mindspring.com) Listowners, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fiction List buffyfic@xmission.com -- sah * romana@mindspring.com * romana@aol.com NatPack * BotCoS * Jungle Patrol * BBPGrrl:TGLIL * Bishop * BTVS Listowner Nat's B&B: http://free.prohosting.com/~romana/natpack/html My homepage: http://free.prohosting.com/~romana/index.html "In front of me, facing me and the bank of journalists, was the Senate Judiciary Committee: Fourteen white men in dark grey suits." Anita Hill ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Instinct (1/?) Date: 05 May 1998 16:51:36 EDT Deadly Instinct 1 Title: Deadly Instint (1/?) Author: Michelle E-mail: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG - Just Buffy like material Summary: Series after Vengeance & Lost & Found - Buffy & Angel, Xander & Willow are all vampires with souls. They are living in LA together. Previous Stories: You don't have to read the stories that came before this one to understand it, but it may help. If you like this story but don't understand it, it's probally because you haven't read Vengeance or Lost & Found. That came before this one and this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask. Spoilers: At least What's My Line Part 2. Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more writting I do! I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know. This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions (what? I like descriptive work). Just some Buffy like language and violence. This story will go on for a while, or until I come up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc. The night air was ice cold but she didn't seem to mind it. Sliding back down between the sheets, she took a deep breath as the wind blew through the open window. Angel rolled over, his arm wrapping around her body and Buffy smiled. She curled up against him and fell asleep. A large door opened to the loft and two vampires entered carrying large boxes. Xander turned on the light and squinted at it's brightness. "Honey, we're home. As if anyone cares." Willow smiled at his faint joke. "Here, let me take that," Xander said. He as he took the box from Willow's arms. "Better put these away before..." His voice trailed off as Angel appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with Buffy wrapped tightly in his embrace. "Back so soon?" Angel smiled, knowing Xander was getting tired of him. Angel grabbed a package from his hands. "Don't mind if I do," he said as he sunk his teeth into the packaging. "This is fresh stuff. Did you get this from Willy?" Buffy turned around and kissed him, hoping for leftovers. The doorbell rang and Buffy rushed across the room to answer it. She opened the door, surprised to see a bleach-blonde vampire standing in front of her. "Hello, Buffy." "Hey, Spike. To what do we owe this visit?" Xander and Angel both took notice the second she mentioned his name. Both walked over to the door and stood behind her. "Mind if I come in?" Spike pushed his way through them and stood in the middle of the large living room. "Hello, Spike." Willow said as she watched him enter the room. "Willow." Spike walked around the room, checking out the house. "So, Spike. Did you just come here to admire our decorating or did you have a reason?" Xander asked. "It's Dru." He stopped to turn his back to all of them. "She's dead." "Dead? How?" Buffy asked sounding upset. "This new damned slayer! She heard about what we've been up to, and she's here to kill us. All of us. "No problem, it's not like we haven't faced a few slayers in our days," Xander said proudly. "It's not that easy. Sure you've killed a few slayers, so have I, but this one...she's different. She's stronger and smarter than any other slayer. Buffy, she's better than you and Kendra combined." End Part 1 --- Please send feedback. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Instinct (2/?) Date: 05 May 1998 16:52:59 EDT Deadly Instinct 2 Title: Deadly Instint (2/?) Author: Michelle E-mail: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Summary: Series after Vengeance & Lost & Found - Buffy & Angel, Xander & Willow are all vampires with souls. They are living in LA together. Previous Stories: You don't have to read the stories that came before this one to understand it, but it may help. If you like this story but don't understand it, it's probally because you haven't read Vengeance or Lost & found. That came before this one and this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask. Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe) Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more writting I do! I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know. This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions (what? I like descriptive work). There is a PG rating on this story Just some Buffy like language and violence, and a few sexual indications. This story will go on for a while, or until I come up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc. ************** "Well, doesn't she know that we're 'good' vampires?" Willow asked, trying to break the silence in the room. "It's not going to stop her. She killed Dru!" Spike screamed. He slumped down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry about Dru, Spike," Buffy said sitting down next to him. "No you're not. You always hated her." "Now wait just a second. Despite all that she did to me, I let her live. I know you're upset, but don't take it out on me." Spike dropped his head apologetically. "Sorry. It's just that, we had everything together and then that scum *Angelus* came along. When you took him away from her, we were able to be together." "Glad you think so highly of me," Angel said with a glare. "I'm just telling the truth." "Spike, don't forget who restored your souls, I may be good, but I'm still a demon." "Hey, cool it, you two!" Buffy said trying to break up the potential fight between them. Even though they were both on the same side, the never could resist the chance to attack each other. "We've got bigger problems right now than your egos." Spike and Angel both glared at Buffy. "So, what can you tell us about this Slayer?" Angel said, finally giving in to Buffy. "Well, one thing's for sure, she's definitely a freak of nature. This girl's got powers. Not just slayer powers, but..." "Hello?" Xander asked as he watched Spike fade of into thought. Everyone in the room suddenly stood up. It was too late for Spike to explain, the slayer had already found them. They all put on their party faces and waited for the slayer to enter. Minutes passed, but nothing. "I could have sworn I felt the slayer's presence. I still do." Buffy said as she listened for the slayer to make a sound. "I know...what's she waiting for?" Spike said quietly. "Uh, guys..." Willow's eyes widened as she looked out the window. "Damn!" Buffy broke away from the room and ran to the bedroom. No one could take their eyes of the scene that stood outside that window. "We're surrounded!" Buffy said as she ran back into the living room. There were nearly a hundred people gathered outside. All with torches in their hands, crosses around their necks and plenty of holy water. A girl stepped forward from the crowd. "Let's see you get out of this one!" The girl walked towards the stairs that led to their house. "We've gotta get out of here," Angel said as he searched the room for an exit. "Really, ya think?" Xander said sarcastically as he glared at Angel. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Instinct (4/?) Date: 05 May 1998 16:54:51 EDT Deadly Instinct 4 Title: Deadly Instint (4/?) Author: Michelle E-mail: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Summary: Series after Vengeance & Lost & Found - Buffy & Angel, Xander & Willow are all vampires with souls. They are living in LA together. Previous Stories: You don't have to read the stories that came before this one to understand it, but it may help. If you like this story but don't understand it, it's probally because you haven't read Vengeance or Lost & found. That came before this one and this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask. Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe) Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more writting I do! I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know. This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions (what? I like descriptive work). There is a PG rating on this story Just some Buffy like language and violence, and a few sexual indications. This story will go on for a while, or until I come up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc. ************** Spike jumped at Careen and knocked the stake out of her hand. In a matter of seconds he had her tight in his grip, her head pulled back by her head so her neck was exposed. "Spike, don't," Buffy yelled out when she saw the look in his eyes. "You're right, I can't feed on her. I'm on the good team now." With quick twist of his hands, the slayer fell lifelessly to the ground. Everyone looked stared him with shocked expressions. "What? She wasn't doing us any good alive." Everyone continued glaring at him. "Okay, so what Spike did wasn't exactly intellegent, it was still the only option." Buffy returned to her feet and walked to Angel. "Were we just supposed to let her kill us all?" Xander and Willow nodded like they accepted what he did as the only choice but Angel frowned as still didn't approve. "Thank you, Buffy. At least someone agrees with me," Spike said. "No problem, and thanks for saving my life." "My pleasure, after all you've done for me." "Uh, guys, I hate to interupt this Kodak moment, but we still have to get out of here," Xander said. He watched the group outside. "Xander's right," Buffy said, looking to Angel for help. "But where are we gonna go? The sun's coming up soon," Spike protested as he too looked out the window at the angry crowd. ~~~~~~~~~~ "She's dead," a older vampire said as he bounded into the large room. "Great! I told you this wouldn't work. You can't just ambush a bunch of deadly vampires," a young girl said, fuming with anger. "Relax. Everything is going just as planned." "So what, Careen was just bait to for them to kill?" "You know, you're much brighter than you look." "Watch it, egghead. I can kill you at anytime!" "Of course you can. But I can also kill you. And if I'm not here to help you, *they* will kill you." "Don't be so sure. I killed that Drusilla, didn't I? I could kill them all if I wanted to." "You're the most powerful slayer that ever existed, but that doesn't mean that you will kill them all. You need my help, and training. Accept it or deny it, either way is fine by me." "I accept." "Good." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Instinct (3/?) Date: 05 May 1998 16:54:14 EDT Deadly Instinct 3 Title: Deadly Instint (3/?) Author: Michelle E-mail: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Summary: Series after Vengeance & Lost & Found - Buffy & Angel, Xander & Willow are all vampires with souls. They are living in LA together. Previous Stories: You don't have to read the stories that came before this one to understand it, but it may help. If you like this story but don't understand it, it's probally because you haven't read Vengeance or Lost & found. That came before this one and this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask. Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe) Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more writting I do! I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know. This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions (what? I like descriptive work). There is a PG rating on this story Just some Buffy like language and violence, and a few sexual indications. This story will go on for a while, or until I come up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc. ************** The door flew open. Everyone turned to see a slayer storm into the room, her eyes filled with determination to kill them all. She was about 5'7, and had dark brown eyes and long black hair. A stake was held ready in her right hand. "Hey, slow down...we're on your side here!" Angel said as he stepped in front of the group. "Oh, really? Last time I checked, vampires were the bad guys." The slayer stopped in the center of the room to examine them. "We're good vampires, though. We've got souls," Willow said, hoping for the chance to live. "Yeah, I heard about that. Too bad I'm still gonna have to kill you." "Well if that's the way you feel," Buffy said with a growl. She leaped off the ground and landed directly on the slayer. "We may just have to stop you," she said, showing her teeth. "Buffy, stop!" Angel cried out as he reached for her. "Why? She wants to kill us? She doesn't want to listen to reason. I say we kill her. Who's gonna know?" Buffy looked back at Angel but kept a tight hold on the slayer. "How about those hundreds of people outside?" Angel said. He was trying to keep her from doing something he knew she would regret. "Do you have a better idea?" Buffy asked. Sheknocked the stake out of the girl's hands. "Man, you are really bad at this slayer stuff." "That's because she's not the slayer I told you about." Buffy looked up to Spike with confused smile on her face. "What do you mean she's not the slayer?" "Well, I don't know if she's a real slayer or not but I do know she's not the one that kill Dru." "Okay, then let's find out who she really is." Buffy turned her attention back to the girl she was firmly pinning down to the ground. Buffy could smell her fear. "So, who are you?" "I'm Careen." "Are you a Slayer?" Buffy said. She was annoyed with the present situation. "One of them." "One of? You mean there are more than one?" "Yes, that's what I was implying." "Watch yourself. You're not exactly in a position to take your chances." The girl's expression tightened as she struggled to break away from Buffy. "Would you stop that!" The girl brought up one of legs and kicked Buffy off of her. Buffy rolled across the room and landed on her back. Careen whipped a stake out from a strap on her back and held it steadily over Buffy's chest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Instinct (5/?) Date: 05 May 1998 16:55:39 EDT Deadly Instinct 5 Title: Deadly Instint (5/?) Author: Michelle E-mail: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Summary: Series after Vengeance & Lost & Found - Buffy & Angel, Xander & Willow are all vampires with souls. They are living in LA together. Previous Stories: You don't have to read the stories that came before this one to understand it, but it may help. If you like this story but don't understand it, it's probally because you haven't read Vengeance or Lost & found. That came before this one and this is a continuation of it. You can find it as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/buffywrittings.html Distribution: I'll say yes, but ask. Spoilers: Everything up to Killed By Death (just to be safe) Feedback: Please, good or bad, I need to know. The more feedback, the more writting I do! I won't care if you tell me this story is horrible, I just want to know. This story is something that happens after Killed By Death. Probally a Third season type story. This story has some pretty graphic descriptions (what? I like descriptive work). There is a PG rating on this story Just some Buffy like language and violence, and a few sexual indications. This story will go on for a while, or until I come up with a way to end it. The characters, Buffy, Xander, Willow, etc. belong to Joss Whedon, The WB, Sandollar, etc. ************** "Call them off." "Excuse me?" The girl asked angrily as she got to her feet. "You heard me. Call them off. You won't get to have any fun if they kill them all. A new slayer will be here soon. The two of you will get to kill them." "Two? But..." Tara was already annoyed with his overpowering sense of authority. "Yes, two. You will *both* kill them. She will most likely die in the fight anyway." "Fine," she said with a pout. She marched out of the room. "Oh, Buffy, Buffy, dear Buffy. You will pay for your crimes." The man stood up, took off his glasses and examined them for a second before putting them back on. ******** "Okay, lets get everyone out of here," said the slayer as she approched a small cluster of people outside the building. "But we haven't had any fun yet!" A young boy protested. "Don't worry, you will. But for now, get all of these people out of here. We need to wait until the right time." Tara turned away from the group. "Whenever that may be," she mumbled. "Okay, let's clear out," the young boy cried out and the group began to scatter away from the building. "Hey! They're leaving!" Xander said from beside the window as he watched the angry mob began to fade away. "What? They're leaving. This is going to be easier than I thought." Buffy said, her face lighting up with excitment. "Okay, great, they're leaving. But the sun is coming up soon and if you all keep standing in front of that window, you won't be here long enough to face them." Angel sat in a darkened corner of the room watching them all stand in front of the window. "Yeah, I guess we got kinda distracted." Spike said as he walked over to the living room. "Yeah, I guess so." Buffy waltzed over to Angel and sat on his lap. "Not a good thing to do, huh?" Angel sarcastically shook his head slightly. They both smiled and looked pasionately into each other's eyes. "So, who's hungry?" Xander said as he duckwalked Willow over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She grabbed a package out of the box and handed it to him. She grabbed a couple more and tossed one to Spike. "What are we going to do about this slayer problem?" Willow asked, sounding worried. "I don't know about you guys, but I have every intention of killing her." "Spike." Buffy said, looking up from Angel. "Don't even think about it, Buffy. That girl killed Dru, and soul or no soul, she's going to die." Spike finished his package and threw it onto the counter. He turned his back to the group once again and sat down on the couch. "Whether I have your help or not." Minutes of silence passed that felt like an eternity. "I'll help," Buffy finally said after silently arguing with Angel over the subject. Spike looked up from the ground with a strange sense of hope in his eyes. "I'll help too," Willow said, following Buffy's lead. Xander glanced at her with a confused expression. He couldn't believe she was willing to be a part of killing someone. Ever since her soul was restored, she could think of nothing other than how to stop killing. "Me too," Xander finally said as Willow pleaded with his eyes. Everyone waited paitiently for Angel's response. They all knew that he desipsed Spike, but they also knew that he cared for Dru. Buffy finally broke the silence with her innocent words. "Angel?" He refused to look her in the eye because he knew what effect doing so always had on him. "I'll help," Angel said reluctantly. He raised his head to look at Spike but kept his eyes away from Buffy. "But don't expect me to kill her. I've killed too many, and caused too much pain, I won't do it anymore." "I understand. Thank you." Spike got to his feet and looked around the room. Faint smiles adorned all of their faces. They were clearly pleased with their colaboration. Angel dropped his head again as he remembed all the horrifying things he had done to the one person he had ever really loved. Buffy lifted his chin with her hand. He tried to turn away but she stopped him with a kiss. "What was that for?" He asked, finally allowing his eyes to connect with hers. "The past is over. Leave it there." Her words hit him like a stake through the heart. He couldn't believe that she still forgave him for everything he did. After all that they had been through, all the torture and pain he had caused her. End Part 4 -- Send feedback please! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 3) Date: 05 May 1998 15:58:23 -0700 I just realized I'd better put a warning for this story. There are some very violent things, a couple sex scene, the who ditty (it takes a lot to make a girl insane, you know!) So if your offended by such things, I'd turn back now. Also! Feedback! I want it! send me it! Charlotte Sometimes (Part 3) Drusilla's eyes fluttered open as she threw her hands up over her head, and stretched them loose. She got out of her bed, her feet touching the icy floor of the room, causing her to shiver, as it did every morn, even through the thick expensive rugs the cold ran through the house. Quickly Drusilla made her bed, and arranged her dolls on the pillows in an orderly fashion, this took less than 5 minutes. She could have done it in her sleep had she willed it. Drusilla picked up the last doll and lightly brushed some stray hair out of it's porcelain face. "Good morning Miss Edith." She told the doll, tapping it's glass nose with her fingertips "Watch over the others." She smiled as she put the fair haired doll in front of the others, and quickly went to her closet to get out a new set of clothes for the day For the life of her, Drusilla couldn't remember why Miss Edith was her favored doll, or how she even got the name Miss Edith for that matter. But it didn't matter. She had had that doll sense she was a small child, and looked fondly unto the day that she would pass it on to her sister. It took her over an hour to get ready, but once she was, she looked stunning. Her hair was flowing down her back, she rarely put it up, loving the way it flowed out behind her, and down her waist. She wore a long blue dress, not even liking the colour, though her mother would not permit her to wear red as she would have, she could have worn red everyday and never once have gotten sick of it. But her mother had said flashy things were only for small boys and whores. So she wore the blue dress. With one last glance in the glass mirror and she was heading down the stairs to greet the day. ~ Angelus ran his hand through the blondes thick hair, and sighed. Darla rolled over, laying her head in his lap. "Your thinking of her aren't you? His silence was answer enough. "If you want her so badly, then take her" Darla said playfully, toying with the ties on his black shirt. The was a pause, as Angelus' gaze meet hers. "I will" he promised. Moving to get up, gently pushing Darla's head off of his lap "But not yet. She's not ready" "She's mortal" Darla said harshly, receiving a confused look from the man towering over her. "You think I don't know this?" Darla rolled her eyes. "She's fragile. Your going to end up destroying her if you try to play" Angelus' smile sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. His mouth moved, so it was mere inches from her mouth. "maybe that's what I want?" Darla's laugh was cut short by Angelus' tongue as he ran it across her lips. "Don't bother yourself with it" He told Darla as he pinned her underneath him "I'll take care of Drusilla." Darla smiled sweetly up at him, loving his dominating nature "But who will take care of you?" -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 4) Date: 05 May 1998 16:53:42 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 4) Drusilla walked down into the living quarters of the large house, to find her mother and the nurse huddled around a crying Lydia, trying their hardest to comfort the hysterical child. Drusilla immediately ran as fast as she could to her little sister. "Lydia?! What's wrong." Drusilla quickly scanned the tiny body for any hurts "Are-are you okay?" "Oh! Dru!" Lydia cried throwing her tiny arms around her sisters neck "What? What's that matter? Shhhhh..." She soothed, or tried to "What's happened?" Isabelle whispered to Drusilla behind Lydia's back. "Reginald has died" Lydia went into hysterics "He hasn't died! He was KILLED!" Drusilla tightened her arms around her sister. "Shhhh, it's okay. Nobody killed him" she said softly trying to sooth Lydia's tears "Why would anyone want to hurt Reggie?" Lydia began to cry and scream incoherently. Drusilla looked to her mother for help, but Isabelle was just as clueless as to what to do about Lydia as she was. There a long pause as Lydia cried, and Drusilla waited for the moment that Lydia's tears might ease up a bit. She didn't have to wait long, the little child began to stop trying to scream and just sniffed her nose a little, weeping occasionally. "Come here Lydia." Drusilla began trying to lightly get Lydia on her feet so she might walk. Lydia sniffled "Where are we going Dru?" Drusilla looked into the red tear streaked face of her sister, and almost began crying herself. "For a walk." Lydia numbly followed her sister to the large garden in the back of their house. She waited for her younger sister to get comfortable as they sat on the grass and then began. "Lydia" She sighed softly. "Your growing up so fast." Lydia sniffled. "I'm nearly seven and a half! I'm already grown up!" "I know." Drusilla smiled agreeing with her sister ever increasing need for independence. "But, there's a time when you get passed your childish ways" The child sniffled and looked down at the ground "But they only pass with knowledge." Lydia looked up at her sister. "I'm smart! I can read and write!" "I know that Lydia, but there's more to life than reading and writing" Lydia looked scornfully at Dru. If there was more than reading and writing why did she have to spend the better part of the day learning things? "Oh yeah? Like what?" "Like death" Drusilla said softly, not wanting to be the cause of another tantrum. "It was Reggies time to go Lydia. God wanted him to leave" "I thought dogs didn't have souls!" Lydia pouted back Drusilla remained silent for a moment not sure how to answer that, with a deep breathe she tired... "But that doesn't mean that god doesn't love him. It was his time to leave earth Lydia. And Reggie wouldn't want to see your tears, would he?" Lydia sniffled and thought for a minute. The little girl looked up again, and hugged Dru. With a couple of tears still left in her eyes she said "I love you Dru! Promise you'll never leave me! I don't want you to ever go! Even if God asks" "Lydia!" She yelled said harshly, pulling the child away so Drusilla could look into her eyes. "Don't ever talk like that again." "Please don't go!" Lydia shook her head franticly. "I won't." she said, holding her sister tightly. "But you should know, that what god wills to be shall be. No-ones going to change that" "I know, but I don't want to lose you Dru!" -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 5) Date: 05 May 1998 16:54:39 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 5) Nighttime had taken forever to come, and Angelus found himself pacing back and forth, waiting for the time to come when he would be able to see his Drusilla again. Much to the annoyance of Darla that is. But now, at long last the sun had set, empowering Angelus as he went forth out of the small shack they had found as protection from the daylight He continued to think as he walked. True he *had* had the whole day to plot. To think about Drusilla. It was as much improvisation as forethought, though, with his sun condition, he had had less to do during the day than think. And play. But play would be so wonderful with his Drusilla. As soon as he had her. The way he wanted her. ~ Drusilla walked down the stairs from her house, donning her dark velvet cloak, as she did almost every night. "Drusilla?" Isabelle asked setting down the book she'd been reading and walked over to Dru "Are you going out so late?" Drusilla took a deep breath "Just for a walk mum. I shouldn't be long" She said. Drusilla went out every night, it was a tradition of hers since she'd been a young child. Her head was still spinning from the days events with her sister, and some fresh night air would be nice. She'd always loved the peacefulness of the night, "Lydia's tucked in, and I'd like some fresh air, if that's alright." "All right then" Isabelle smiled "Don't be out to long though. You've got a big day ahead of you." Drusilla turned to her mother. "What's that mamma?" Isabelle all but giggled in her glee. "We're going out to the town tomorrow eve." Drusilla still looked thoroughly confused "Why for?" "We need to get you some new clothes, my dear! The Caytons will be having a ball in one week's time! And we were invited. You especially!" Drusilla knew better than to argue with her mother when it came to balls. The Caytons were widely known though-out Prague for their lavish dances, and the fact that they had made special reference to invite the Hursts' must be a big thrill to her mother. But Drusilla still had no desire to go. Nonetheless she quickly agreed with her mother, wearing a smile as she stepped into the night air. ~ Angelus smiled as he approached the Hurst' household. He couldn't go inside, not yet at least. But it was still a pleasure to be there.. He stopped. Outside of Drusilla's house the door open. He stepped quietly into the shade of darkness and stared at the figure protruding from the door. Angelus' heart would have skipped a beat, had it a rhythm. "Drusilla" he whispered. ~ She walked quickly away from the house. Having no desire to stay on their property, had she only known the house was her only safety, perhaps she would have stayed inside. Her walking slowed down once outside the mansion gates. She was going to enjoy her time in the dark, to let her mind and body relax from all the days events. ~ He was only a step behind her the whole way, walking in the shadows, following her every move. She went off the trial. Walking out to the dark woods. So fearless. Never knowing. Angelus let a breathe of pleasurable tension escape his lips ~ Drusilla immediately turned around. She searched the night, looking in between the trees, wishing for a dagger, or knife, some protection should a violent stranger approach. "Hello?" she asked to the night, still looking around for the person she'd heard. Or had she? Drusilla shook her head. There was no-one out in the woods this late at night. No one except herself. ~ Angelus waited for her echoing footsteps before he came away from his hiding place in the shadows. He followed her, watching her body move. Watching her cloak as it tried to hide her long hair from the wind, and her arms as they traveled at her side ~ Drusilla took a deep breathe as she reached her final destination. There was nothing really special about the small clearing. But she always came down here, she could spend forever in this one place, and still long to come back. There were trees surrounding Dru, and over grown grass. Long flowers began to bloom as the beginning of spring approached. Drusilla willed her body to fall backwards onto the downy grass, and she lay there. Daydreaming of pleasurable things, and not balls, nor fancy gowns, or even marriages. ~ The desire to take her there, as she lay so peaceful on the grass was so overwhelming, it took so much of his strength to tell his desires 'no' and to make them back off so he might savor these few moments of peaceful silence. She stirred. Sitting straight up. "Who's there?" she asked aloud again. ~ Drusilla could feel the watchful gaze of another. She wasn't alone. She couldn't be. Her senses wouldn't dissuade her so much as to feel another's' presence. A picture came into her head suddenly. Drusilla shook her head free of the odd picture. It remained still but the energy behind it lessened. She couldn't focus on what the image looked liked. But knew, with out a doubt what it was. Her mind was telling her there was an angel. An angel? She thought. "An angel?" she whispered to the night. ~ It was Angelus' turn to be surprised. What a clever girl, how had she come up with that? ~ Drusilla stood up, an uneasy feeling was claiming her, and she suddenly had the strong urge to run home. She didn't though. She stood up slowly straightening any remaining ripples that may still be on her dress, and walked the rest of the way home. At as peaceful pace. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:I'm Really Sorry Date: 05 May 1998 19:33:25 EDT I'm really sorry, but my annoying little sister broke the disk I had saved the rest of Angel's Memories on. Unless I figure out some way to fix the disk, I can't finish the story. Anyone else who wants to can feel free to do so. Once again, I'm really sorry. -Jaclyn ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Change (1/1) Date: 06 May 1998 03:13:21 EDT TITLE: Change AUTHOR: Tamara EMAIL: Aramat330@aol.com FEEDBACK: Yes, please. DISTRIBUTION: Eventually, my page. All others, please ask first. SUMMARY: This is a Buffy POV. It was written after "Prophecy Girl", definitely Before Everything Got All Screwed Up. It deals with Buffy's feelings after she, Willow, Xander, and Cordelia graduate from high school. That means it's one of those future events stories. DISCLAIMER: Characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer do not belong to me. They are property of Joss Whedon, the WB and some other people. I'm using them purely for my own amusement and I'm sending it to the list in my arrogant assumption that it will entertain you. I'm kidding. I'm not arrogant. I'm not. Really. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Change Change. There are no words to express how much that word freaks me out. Within that one word lies all my insecurities, all my fears, all my doubts. Whoever said change was good, well, they definitely hadn't been a teenager. Everytime I hear that word it reminds me of all the things I've been through. My parents divorce, my hectic year in LA, my move to Sunnydale, my dying, and now this. The biggest change I've had in a while. It's weird to me that high school's over. Everything I've become used to, everybody I've grown comfortable with, it's all changing. There will be no more late night sessions in the library with Willow, Xander, and Cordelia. No more walks through the cemetery with my buds. No more weekend sleepovers with the girls. No more crazed dance parties at the Bronze. No more just hanging out with my friends. I think of all the things we did together and realize we won't be doing them anymore. Everything's changing and I'm not liking it. I think my biggest problem with this is that my friends are leaving. Now, don't get me wrong, I thinks it's great that they're getting out of the slaying. To be honest, it's three less people I have to protect. But they've been with me from the beginning, it won't be the same without them. Who will I call when I've got demons on the brain and I need to talk it out? Who will be there when things just get to be too much? And what happens when they meet new people, new normal people, whose lives don't involve vampires, slaying, demons, and facing death every night? I'm not afraid of being forgotten, who could forget he girl who placed you in danger every night of your high school existance? I guess I'm afraid of being left behind. They'll go on with their lives and I'll still be in Sunnydale, fighting the forces of darkness. Things will change for them, and, for me, they'll stay the same. I know I've still got Giles. But it's just not the same. For the past three years Willow, Xander and Cordelia gave up so much to help me out. Well, Will and Xan, more than Cordy, but still, they've risked a lot for me. I don't know what I'll do without them. But in the midst of all this change one thing, at least, is staying the same. Angel. I'm grateful for his presence because, quite honestly, I really don't know how I would have gotten through the last three months without him. He's been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, which happened just about every time I let myself dwell on the fact that my friends were leaving. When I needed to rant and rave about the unfairness of it all, that they were allowed to leave, and I had to stay behind, he listened, smiling the whole way. When I sat and raged at myself for my selfishness, he held me. And when I got the urge to run out in the middle of the night to do serious harm to the undead population of Sunnydale, he followed me and made sure my recklessness didn't end me up in the hospital. Through it all, he's been great. And I thank him for it. But now, as I look at the clock, I realize it's time to say my goodbyes to the three best friends any not-so-normal girl could have. I'm trying not to cry, trying hard not to let their leaving affect me too much. But I can't. So I'll say goodbye. I'll hug them and kiss them and tell them how much I'll miss them, how much they mean to me. And then when they leave, I'll head over to Angel's and cry my eyes out. Change. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, Mistress of the CtH ~ Redfire98@aol.com ~ UCSL~F.I.C.!!!, Spikette, SGEB, SunS Worshipper, RABID Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/fanfic.html "We're so sick. I love us!" -Lex, My Evil Twin "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" Laissez les bon temp roulez! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hello (1/1) Date: 06 May 1998 03:13:32 EDT TITLE: Hello AUTHOR: Tamara EMAIL: Aramat330@aol.com FEEDBACK: Yeah, sure. I live for feedback. DIST: Eventually my page. All others ask first. RATING: PG -although there is some racy talk. Nothing too naughty. SUMMARY: It's the middle of the night (okay, really early morning) and Buffy gets a phone call. DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me. They are property of Joss Whedon, the WB and Fox. I'm just borrowing them to have a little harmless fun. Note: This is another Before Everything Got All Screwed Up story. In other words, things are happy. It's mostly dialogue, because it is a phone call. I made up some stuff to suit my purposes. I wrote this a long time ago so things definitely do not jazz with what's been happening since the big switch happened. Keep that in mind. It's just a light hearted story to remind myself that once, a long time ago, I was capable of writing happy stories. And I'm dedicating this to Tracy, who I apologize to profusely for all the sad stuff I've been writing lately. Happy now, Trace. And to Lex. I know you've got a happy story lurking around somewhere. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! It was after the sixth jarring sound that Buffy picked up the phone. Sneaking a look at the clock, she groaned as she noted how early it was. After mentally cursing whoever was calling her, she spoke. "Demon, vampire, or giant bug?," she asked groggily. There was a chuckle, a very familiar one, Buffy noted through a sleepy haze. "Vampire," Angel answered his amusement clear. "But he's not dangerous." Buffy sat up when she finally registered the voice. Running a hand through her hair she sighed. "Maybe not to you," she replied her voice husky. "But he's risky for me. Bored?" Another chuckle. "More like lonely," he answered. "I figured you'd be up. Seems I was wrong." Buffy smiled. "Don't worry about it," she told him reassuringly. "I'm always awake for you." "That's good to know." Buffy laid back down in bed, situating herself comfortably on a pillow. "So, you're lonely. Why?" Buffy heard movement and imagined he was lying back like she was. "Why am I lonely?" he repeated the question. "I guess I do it well." Buffy chuckled. "I'm sure there are plenty of things you do well," she said to him. "Try some of those." "Okay," he agreed. "There's brooding, lurking, stalking. And if I were a bragger I'd add killing to that list, but we both know I'm reformed." Buffy couldn't help but smile. "Okay, so maybe you're lacking in hobbies. You haven't picked up something to do in all your years?" "Some things." The simple statement pricked Buffy's curiousity. "Care to elaborate." There was another chuckle. "Reading," he answered. "I read. A lot." Buffy knew there was something he wasn't telling her. But she figured if he wasn't talking, he wasn't talking. "Okay, reading is good," Buffy said adopting the subject. "I read. All the time." This time a muffled laugh could be heard on the other end. Buffy, slightly stung, was not amused. "Buffy, what was the last thing you read?," he asked when he'd stopped laughing. "That wasn't school related." Buffy frowned. "All right," she admitted. "The last thing I read, that wasn't assigned, was the latest issue of Cosmo. But I had to sneak that one in during a Slayerette meeting." "My point proved." "Hey!," Buffy said indignantly. "I happen to be a very busy person. I don't exactly have time to sit down and devote a couple of hours to great works of literature. I can just see myself trying to read Shakespeare by the light of the moon in Sunnydale Cemetery." By the silence on the other end of the phone she knew she'd made her point. "You're right," he said contritely. "I'm sorry." Buffy sighed. "Apology accepted. Can we move on, please?" "Yes, let's move on," he answered. "What do we talk about now?" Buffy smiled as she snuggled deeper into her covers. "Let's talk about why I haven't seen you for a while," she answered after shifting the phone to her other ear. "You don't return my phone calls, you avoid me at the Bronze. I stop by your place and you tell me you're busy. What's the deal?" There was another round of silence and Buffy was positive he wasn't going to answer. Just when she'd decided to give up he spoke. "I've been doing some thinking," he answered softly. "It's not something I do well with you around." "Should I be flattered?" He chuckled again. "Yeah, you should," he replied. "Anyway, things are going fairly well for us and I needed to think about what to do next." "So what did you decided?" she asked, curious to know what his answer would be. "What were your choices?" "Well, I could either give the 'we're doomed to failure' speech, but I figured that would only upset you, and you upset means trouble for me." he answered after a moment. Buffy smiled. "Okay, upsetting speech. Your other choice?" "I could be happy and leave things the way they are." "And you chose..." "I chose to be happy." Buffy sighed happily. "Which means I stay happy," she said. "Good choice. Does that mean no more avoiding me?" He laughed. "No more avoiding you. I'll return all your calls and when you drop by I won't be busy." "So, if I said I was on my way over now..." "I'd tell you to go home," he finished for her. "One of us has a class tomorrow." Buffy groaned. "You're beginning to sound like my mother." "It's the age thing," he answered matter-of-factly. "Speaking of mothers, where is yours?" "My mom is out of town on gallery business," Buffy answered. "The New York gallery is having some big art show and mom had to make an appearance. Such is the life of a gallery owner." "That would mean you're all alone," he ventured. "Yep," she replied. "All alone. I tried to wrangle an invite but suspected vamp activity has me grounded." "Giles being Giles again, huh?" Buffy nodded. "He's had me training extra hard for some upcoming event. You should show. It'll be bigger than Tyson-Holyfield." "Is that right?" he asked an amused note in his voice. "When did you take up boxing?" Buffy laughed. "Boxing is cool. I watch to learn. Plus, it gives me a happy. It's nice to watch two sweaty, muscular men pummeling each other and know that, if I were there, I could kick both their asses." "We talked about my lack of hobbies. Let's talk about your choice of hobbies." Buffy chuckled. "Let's not. Last week I spent all my free time practicing how to effectively decapitate a vamp using only a butcher knife. Giles won't give me a sword. Says I'll get blade happy. I had to stop fighting him about it when I realized he was right." "What's the free time activity this week?" "Knife throwing," she answered. "I can't really use it for vamps but it's fun. The only thing is that my mom walked into my room right after I threw a knife at my target. The only thing she said was, 'Buffy, I don't remember buying knives like that.' Then she walked out of the room, but not before I heard her mumbling, 'Buffy's throwing knives at the wall. Should I be worried?" He laughed and Buffy couldn't help but smile. "You have customized knives?" "Yeah," Buffy replied. "Girl's gotta be prepared. I've even got those cool ninja star thingies. My next weapon is the whip. Giles says I'm getting a little carried away. I told him if Catwoman can use one so can I. Besides a whip can come in handy." "In handy for what?" "My personal life. Never know when you'll need to punish the ones you love." Angel chuckled. "Should I be afraid?" "Do you need to be punished?" "No," he answered firmly. "Let's get off this topic. Time to move on." Buffy accepted the change in topic. "Let's talk about the past." There was a brief silence on the other end. "Let's talk about those whips." Buffy smiled. "No chickening out," she told him. "I want to know what life was like when you were a kid. I bet you were cute." "What do you want to know?" "Everything," she answered. "Did you have brothers and sisters? Where did you live? What did you do? How many women did you seduce? You know, all the dirt." He laughed. "Okay. I had two sisters. I was the only boy and the oldest. I lived in Ireland. I had a mom and a dad. I didn't seduce any women. I was a gentleman. That's about it." Buffy smiled. "I can believe that." "Believe what?" "That you didn't seduce any women," she replied. "We've been together a while now and you still haven't put the moves on me yet. The thing is I don't believe it. I bet there was some girl you had your eye on. And I'm positive you weren't pure and innocent. It's not you." He smiled. "I said I didn't seduce women, I didn't say I didn't sleep with them." "So, finally we get to the truth," she said imagining juicy gossip. "Alright, spill it. Were you a frequent visitor to the local establishment? Did you have a naughty, divorced mistress?" Angel laughed. "Buffy, where did you get this?" "Hey," she said smiling. "I have little to work with. My great source of info is the occasional Historical novel I can sneak in. Clue me in." "This doesn't bother you?" he asked, stalling for time. Buffy thought she heard him mumble, "It's bothering me." Buffy shook her head. "No," she answered truthfully. "Why should it? I happened ages ago. Besides I think I have a right to know how you got your experience. It affects me." Angel smiled. "Will it?" "Hopefully soon, but that depends on Saint Angel, keeper of Buffy's virgin status." "Keeper of your what?" Angel asked in a choked voice. "You heard me," she told him. "Now stop stalling and talk." He sighed. "No I was not a frequent visitor to the local establishment. I didn't pay for sex. And yes, I had a mistress." Buffy was intrigued. "How many?" "You assume I had more than one?" "Yeah," she said imaptiently. "Didn't you?" "Well yes, but I'm stung you assumed it." Buffy grinned. "Oh, get over it. Your ego isn't that fragile. Go on." "I'm not telling you about mistresses, Buffy," Angel said firmly "Loosen up, it's the nineties. The 1990's," she reminded him. "Besides, I'm curious." He was quiet for a moment. "Do you even care that this is making me very uncomfortable?" "Not really," Buffy answered. "But if it bothers you that much we'll skip that talk. Better?" "Much," he answered. "How are Willow and Xander?" "They're perfect," she responded. "Spending some quality time together. Away from their troublesome friend." "You're not troublesome." "I happen to agree," Buffy said smartly. "So sad other adults don't feel the same." She sighed. "Save their lives and they don't even appreciate it." "Feeling sorry for yourself?" "No," Buffy answered. "Just a little unappreciated." Angel laughed. "Alright, next topic." Buffy smiled. "Okay. What's the weirdest thing about our relationship?" she asked him after a moment. "In your opinion." Angel chuckled. "Besides the fact that I'm old enough to be your grandfather a couple times over?" Buffy groaned. "I never thought about it like that," she said. She had a brief flash of herself kissing an old decrepit man. She shuddered. "Thank goodness you look young. We're sick." Angel smiled. "Maybe just a little, he answered. "But you like me anyway right?" "Yep," she answered truthfully. "My only other alternative is Xander. Or Spike." She paused to think about it. "I could get into Spike. He's sexy." "I wouldn't," Angel told her. "He's all talk. No action there at all." Buffy laughed. "Look who's talking. I'm not getting much of either out of you. What makes you so sure you've got what it takes?" "We can always ask Dru," he told her. "I'm sure she can fill you in." Buffy grinned. "No fair throwing up past demons in my face," she told him. "It's bad enough knowing Dru's had you and I haven't." "Be good," Angel warned. "One more sex reference and I'll hang up." Buffy sighed. "Slayers honor, I'll be good." Angel smiled. "Alright. Anything else you want to talk about?" "Yeah," she answered after a moment. "Are we still on for the weekend?" "Yes. My place or yours?" "Definitely yours," Buffy replied. "It's cosy." Angel laughed. "Okay, it's late and you've got school tomorrow so I'm letting you go." "Alright. Your place, eight o'clock?" "My place, eight o'clock. Don't be late." "I won't," she answered. She snuggled deep into her covers, preparing once again for sleep. "Bye Angel." Angel smiled. "Goodnight Buffy," he said softly into the phone. A second later, he hung up. Buffy replaced the reciever and sighed. "Goodnight," she murmurred before drifting off to sleep. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, Mistress of the CtH ~ Redfire98@aol.com ~ UCSL~F.I.C.!!!, Spikette, SGEB, SunS Worshipper, RABID Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/fanfic.html "We're so sick. I love us!" -Lex, My Evil Twin "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" Laissez les bon temp roulez! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Fledgling Part One of ??? Date: 06 May 1998 12:18:20 -0700 you will and decide to raise her to respect life and turn her back on her vampire nature. Rating: PG for the most part. Spoilers: Don't think so.. this takes place after Angel is returned so I doubt it. Posting: At my webpage, Heaven's Gates (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863) under the Watcher's Diaries. Please don't reproduce with out asking. Comments: Please.. to Lea at either: lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@geocities.com Good or bad.. just be kind! *g* Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine.. except Niamh (BTW: pronounced NEEV).. they belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, and WB.. I'm making no money from this.. quite obviously. *G* **************** Fledgling Part One The Fledgling They were walking through the graveyard hand in hand, slayer and vampire, woman and man. The night had been quiet, no vampires, no demons, not even a fishy looking high school senoir. Both knew it was far too quiet to stay that way. It was then that the soft sobbing of a girl reached their ears. Angel stiffened as a sent infiltrated his senses. "Blood." Buffy pulled a stake from her purse a frown on her face. "Where there's blood there's blood suckers. Let's go fishing." They moved forward slowly, edging closer to the sounds of the crying. With a silent gesture Buffy sent Angel around one side of the gravestone before them and she circled the other side. They both readied themselves for whatever may meet their sight as they stepped out of the shadows to see... A girl. Two deep puncture marks marred her neck as the remnants of blood dribbled from her lips. Buffy shook her head in sadness, another innocent destroyed. She sighed and readied her stake. Angel's hand wrapped around her wrist. "Wait." Buffy blinked. "What wait? Slayer, stake, vamp. All's in order." "She's not a full vampire." "What?" Angel slipped off his coat and wrapped it around the girl's shivering form. "She's a fledgling. She wasn't fully brought across. They must have heard us coming and made a run for it." "So what? She's only half as dead?" Angel shrugged, "Well.. I wouldn't put it quite that way." "Half as inclined to suck the blood out of Sunnydale's living populace?" "No... she still needs to feed on blood." "Only half of her will go explosive at dawn?" "Sunlight is still deadly, but she can take direct exposure for a short period of time.. about an hour or so." "Crosses?" "Little effect." "Holy water?" "Burns but heals quickly." Buffy shook her head, "So.. does she only live half of forever?" "I don't know." "Heaven's be praised, I finally stumped the undead chump!" She sighed, "Okay, Ange, start talking. What's the sitch? How come you know so much about Sunnydale's own personal answer to the metis?" He knelt beside the girl, quickly using a peice of her shirt sleeve to stop the bleeding at her neck. "I... I tried to raise a fledgling once, a long time ago. It was just after the cursing.. no more than fifteen, maybe twenty years." Buffy snorted. "Yeah, right after that cursing. Hardly a moment's passing.. blink of an eye." Angel raised an eyebrow but continued slowly. "I found him a few days after his attack. He was living off rats and birds.. unsure of his nature, knowing only the intense desire for blood. I.. I thought that if I took him with me perhaps I'd be able to train him properly.. how to survive without human blood and all the senseless violence of full vampires." "You defanged him.. err.. so to speak." "I suppose." "Did it work? I mean were you able to train him?" Angel hesitated. "For a while." Buffy sighed, "Got tired of rats did he?" Angel stroked the fledgling's hair gentley, staring out at the moon sadly. "He went insane. Living between worlds isn't easy, Buff. Your nature demanding you kill again and again, something inside you telling you that you can't. He wasn't strong enough to handle the duality of both callings." "Not like you?" He shrugged. "He lasted six months before he ripped the throat out of a woman who was just passing by." "What happened?" "I killed him." "Oh.. oh, Angel." Angel glanced up to meet Buffy's eyes. "I can't help thinking that maybe I got to him too late; if I'd only caught him earlier." Buffy nodded, but sighed. "Ange, I'm sorry about what happened, but we can't risk a repeat gore. If we let Metis here live and she goes wacko vamp on us, we could all be history." The girl whimpered softly, shying away from Buffy back into Angel's arms. "Please," she whispered, "Please help." Buffy bit her lip as her eyes travelled from the fledgling to Angel. The determined look in her boyfriend's eyes told her everything she needed to know. She raised her hands in defeat. "Fine! But if she goes on a mega blood binge don't come crying to me! She's your problem!" Angel grineed, "I knew you'd understand, Buff." Buffy softened, "Sure, sure. Come on, let's get her to the loft and I'll get her cleaned up. That's one task you're not going to ahve a hand in!" Angel couldn't resist. "Jealous much?" he teased. Buffy only sighed in exasperation, shaking her head as she helped the fledgling to her feet. "Hon, when you're ready, I'm telling you now, choose a human boyfriend. Vampires have awful senses of humor." Angel grinned, "Only to humans. We find ourselves quite witty, actually." Buffy nodded, "And he demonstrates my point with a perfect score of ten! Winner and still champion!" *********************** Buffy helped the fledgling out of her clothing, turning to stop the taps pouring warm water into Angel's tub. She smiled as the girl hesitated at the water level. "Go on, I swear it's not holy!" The girl never blinked and Buffy sighed. "Absolutely no sense of humor what so ever. IN!" Slowly the girl slid into the warmth of the bath and Buffy began to pour the water onto her hair. "So... Metis... what is your namy anyway?" "Name?" "Yeah.. name.. me Buffy you...?" Buffy rolled her eyes, the vamps must have sucked out the kid's brain cells along with her blood. "Niamh." She murmered. "Okie, Niamh it is." Buffy poured some shampoo into her hand, and began spreading it through Niamh's hair. "So.. how old are you anyway?" "Sixteen." Buffy grew tired of the girl's one word responses. "Not so chatty, are ya?" No response, so Buffy tried again. "I know you don't go to Sunnydale High, so where ya from?" "Nowhere." "Where are your folks?" "Somewhere." Buffy clenched her fists. "Listen, you feeling okay enough to bath yourself?" "Yes." "Good, I'm going to talk to Angel. At least he uses more than one word." Niamh looked at Buffy and shrugged so Buffy walked out shaking her head. Angel was sitting on his bed, pulling on a clean shirt. Buffy sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "How's she doing?" he asked quietly as he softly stroked her back. "I can't tell. She won't talk to me. All I can find out is that she's sixteen, her name is Niamh.. and I think she's a runaway." He nodded. "Yeah, I thought so. She's probably really confused right now... and hungry. When she gets out of the bath I'll give her a bowl of soup." Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Soup?" She grinned. Angel chuckled. "Well, it definately won't be tomatoe." Buffy smacked his leg lightly. "I don't think I should leave her here alone with you." Angel cocked his head, "Are you afraid she'll take advantage of my innocence and lead me astray?" She laughed good naturedly. "Uh uh.. that's my job!" She climbed into his lap and kissed him gently. "You realize we're parents now? We're not going to have another moments peace until she grows up and moves out on her own." Angel rolled his eyes and kissed her neck lightly. "We'll just have to find a babysitter, won't we?" Buffy grinned, "Mmmm.. find some quiet time for ourselves.." "Go out on a date here and there." "Maybe sneak out for a romantic weekend?" The bathroom door opened and Niamh walked out wrapped in a towel. "Done." Buffy sighed at the girl's lack of modesty. "I'll get you something to wear." She walked over to Angel's closet where within lay a drawer set aside for some of her clothing. She pulled out an old pair of jeans and a sweater. "Here. They may be small, but they'll do until I can get to the mall and get you some threads of your own." Niamh took the clothes out of Buffy's hands and dropped the towel. Angel turned around quickly, but not fast enough to miss Buffy's pointed glance in his direction. He had to smile. "Hon, you and I are going to have to have a chat about where and when to get dressed. In front of Ange is a most definate NOT!" Buffy shook her head. Niamh shrugged. "Whatever." She disappeared back into the bathroom. Buffy walked up to Angel and waggled a finger at him. "You were looking, weren't you?" "Nope." "Tempted to look?" "Nope." "Why not?" Angel merely shrugged. Buffy punched him in the arm. "Don't you start this one word thing, Ange.. If you do I'm gonna wig on ya so bad you'll wish ya never came back, got it?" "Yep." Buffy scowled. "Jerk." "But you love me anyway." Angel smiled knowingly. "Don't get cocky." Angel pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply, letting her know through his actions just how much he loved her in return. Buffy shook her head in exasperation, but kissed him back willingly. A new phase of their lives had begun. *********************** End Part One. -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Deadly Sin or Cardinal Virtue? 1/1 Date: 06 May 1998 12:25:52 -0700 shouldn't be having now that he's evil. Spoiler: Um... dunno... I think just Surprise and Innocence, Passion, and I Only Have Eyes for You. Rating: PG.. maybe a bit more for some language. Posting: At my homepage, Heaven's Gates (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863) under the Watcher's Diaries. Comments: Please, to Lea at either: lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@geocities.com Good or Bad.. just be nice! *G* Disclaimers: The character's aren't mine.. they belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy and WB... I am making no money off of this, quite obviously. *G* ******************** Deadly Sin or Cardinal Virtue? Angel slammed his hand into the bricks of the tiny floral waterfall as he once again attempted to wash the remaining feelings of his recent encounter with Buffy from his body and mind. Ever since those infernal spirits had choked their love through his veins, his dreams have been driving him insane. Every night he watches the slayer as she sleeps, moving ever closer to that moment when he would inevitably have to touch her.. to kiss her.. to bring her across so that she could be eternally his. But it was impossible... love was impossible. Only imperfect beings such as humans and the lesser creatures could exeperience the disgusting, revolting, drawing effects of love. Passion was one thing. Lust was one thing. Angel could except both passion and lust as a part of living.. even for the undead. But love? It just couldn't be.. his soul was no longer a part of him, no matter what the desperate humans wished to believe. He couldn't love anyone. He couldn't force himself to love anyone. Could he? An image of Buffy, curled around a large teddy bear, the gentle blonde locks of her hair curled softly around her face, assaulted him. Something with in himself lurched... revulsion, he told himself. But it wasn't. Somewhere deep within himself he desperately needed the slayer to be with him, to love him in a way he'd never before experienced, nor wanted to experience. When he'd had his soul, her love was something he had learned to accept, something he had learned to accept within himself as well, but now? She could never love him as he was, he should never be able to love her either, yet the burning coals of feeling were spreading throughout his body. He wasn't kidding himself, however. He knew that if he were to bed the girl once more, he would be forced to bring her across to his side, to his nature. Once he had her, Angel knew he couldn't bring himself to live without her. Something about her reminded him of what he once longed for, a being as strong as himself, as intelligent as himself, as determined, as beautiful, as innocent as he had been the night he'd been brought across. Darla had not given him the choice of becoming a demon, if he had the chance, he'd do the same to Buffy. The question was, could he do that to Buffy? As evil as he acted, as nasty as he was, each action was only a reaction to these feelings he'd been trying to rid himself of since the day he'd been returned to his true self. To this day he'd been unable to slay the slayer, as hard as he tried, he hesitated. The gypsy bitch had been nothing more than a bad replacement for what he should have done to Buffy months before. Angel sighed, splashing more of the ice cold water upon his face and body. This burning in his chest wouldn't go away.. every time he thought of her.. every time he imagined exactly what it was he wanted to do to her... every time he slept.. he couldn't get her out of his mind. He'd tried driving her insane by torturing and killing her friends. It didn't work. He'd tried driving her mad by using their previous relationship against her. She'd been too strong. He'd tried killing her. He'd been too emotionally frail to do so. Who ever would have heard of it? A vampire emotionally frail? He was falling apart at the seams.. all he had to do was plunge his teeth into her sweet, tender throat and all would be finished.. but he was unable of completing even that seemingly simple task. He drew his shirt over his still damp chest, running his fingers back through his hair in frustration. That damned slayer had worked her way into the heart he thought he didn't have. It could be just left over feelings from his past relationship with her.. he had told himself this for months, but the feelings weren't fading. It could be lingering insanity from spending so many years as a half human... but why would it affect him this way? "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME, SLAYER?????" His screams bounced off the hollow walls, reverberating around the room. Drusilla walked by, a frown on her face, but she said nothing. Rather she peered at him in concern, shrinking back from the violent scowl with which he met the sight of her. "Is there a problem, princess?" His words were harsh and biting. "Problems, problems... the world is filled with problems, luv, and we are just the start of them. Always a problem.. ever a problem.. do you have a problem, my Angel?" Her voice was sing-song, but under the guise of insanity, her mind was working fiercely. "No problem, Dru. Why don't you take chair boy and go feed. I'm not hungry." Drusilla shrugged slowly, spinning on her heel and floating calmly out of the room. "Whatever you say, sweet Angel.. Spike and I will add to the worlds problems. Don't you just love problems.. I love problems.. problems are like stars... brilliant.. shining.. problems." Her voice faded as she went in search of Spike, but Angel's conflicting feelings did no such thing. Rather he was left with stronger emotions than ever. Rather than standing around doing nothing, Angel moved out of the vampires idealic hideaway and began his long trek over the streets of Sunnydale, heading as if drawn by some unseen force, once again back to the window of Buffy's bedroom. A barrier stood in his way as he watched her sleep. Her invitation to him into her home had long since been revoked; a mistake of his, letting her know that he had been in her room. The peaceful nights he had spent at her side contemplating the curiosity that is passion came to an end abruptly. Rather now he sat in the tree, watching her sleep from afar, never again to stroke her soft cheek as she breathed gently into the night. He meant not to harm her tonight, as he had so meant many of his nights spent like this. Had he ever really meant her any harm? He had intended so, but perhaps only in mind not in heart. Confusion clouded his thoughts, and the vampire sighed. He settled into a comfortable position in the tree; dawn was a long way off and the night was cold. Still he had no intention of leaving, not tonight, not ever. Perhaps the only way of ending these unwanted feelings would be to die, but then his nights would no longer be filled with her precious image. Angel gagged.. precious image? Where had that come from? He groaned.. the same place all other thoughts had come from for too many of his eternal nights. The desire to end these emotions was strong, but the desire to see them through to completion was just as powerful. There were only three choices, and Angel realized this now. One, he could continue on the way he had been living, torturing himself with this endless desire to see through what he could barely understand. Two, he could sink his teeth into her tender throat, pull from her body the blood she needed to sustain her life, then feed to her the very blood he had fed upon. She would then become the perfect mate for him, but she would no longer be the Buffy that enflamed his long thought dead human desires. And finally three. He could sit in this tree until the sun rose high above the treeline, ending the tortured existance that had been his life for over eighty years. The gypsy curse had only been the beginning, would the desire he had developed for the slayer be the end? He had hours to make his choice.. he knew these emotions to be sprung from lust.. a deadly sin, but was it more deadly than those he had committed in the past? The lust was developing dangerously close to love, an emotion that could purify the demon within him. He sighed.. a deadly sin or a cadinal virtue? Could this... love... lead him to killing himself, an act that could save so many lives over so many generations? He didn't know right then... but by the time dawn came upon him there would either be one vampire more walking the streets of Sunnydale, or one less. Yes.. come the rise of the sun the decision would be made.. one way.. or another. ********* Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Restoration Part Six of ???? Date: 06 May 1998 12:36:23 -0700 Spoilers: Passion big time.. a few from first season... surprise and innocence. Rating: PG.. some violence. Posting: At my homepage, Heaven's Gates (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863) under the Watcher's Diaries. Comments: Please, to Lea at either: lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@geocities.com Good or Bad.. but be nice! *G* Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine, they belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, and WB... I am making no money from this, quite obviously. *G* *************** Restoration Part Six: Armed with a glass of diet coke, Buffy settled down onto the sofa beside Angel once more. He smiled at her softly, knowing somewhere deep inside himself not to press her on personal thoughts at the moment. Instead he chose to pick up where they had left off the night before, hoping against hope that by the end of the whole experience she would be ready to talk about them. "Your dream filled in a lot of details, then?" he queried in a low voice. She nodded, "Last I got to before Will and Xander came in was up until you knocked me out." She smiled tensely, "Remind me not to tangle with you in the future. You throw a good punch.. my head is still killing me." He glanced down, "I'm sorry... I really am." She gasped, "I didn't mean.. I mean.. I didn't say.. ah, hell.. forget it. That wasn't meant as a guilt trip you know." He chuckled sadly, "Looks like both of us are still a little unsure how to go about this now. Why don't we just finish what we remember and then work from there." She shrugged. "My memory is a bit fuzzy after that... I think you knocked me a bit harder than I'd like to admit." He nodded, "That's alright. I remember most of it up until I passed out. You're not the only one who dreams... I dream.. all too often.. about too many things." Her tongue poked out slightly between her lips. "I know. But Ange.. you couldn't help it... don't do this to yourself anymore. We're all wigged about the entire sitch, but we gotta move on. That's what tonight is about.. getting this out of the way so that we can move on." "Then let's do it... I watched you closely from the moment you landed against that gravestone.. as you closed your eyes... I thought for a moment that you were down for good.. that maybe I had won..." **************** "Wakey, wakey, slayer of my heart. We're not done yet!" Angel grinned evilly as he moved to Buffy's side, drawing back to kick her in the ribs. Her eyes shot open and her hands darted out, catching Angel's foot in mid air, flipping him to his back. "Wrong again, Angel, we are done. Now!" Her hand flicked back to retrieve a fallen stake and she rolled to her feet. Angel was gone. A rustle came from behind her and she turned to see Angel shuffling through her bag. A stake passed through the air by her head and he looked up with a grin. "Oops. Wouldn't want to actually hit you with that, Buff... waste of good blood and all.." She scowled, "Don't worry. I don't intend on becoming vampire chow anytime soon." "Oh but lover, you already are... yum!" Angel licked his lips and laughed at the glare that crossed her face. She moved forward slowly, dropping into a fighting stance waiting for his next move. Angel merely shrugged, continuing his sifting through her supplies. He hissed as his hand came in contact with a crucifix and he sent that sailing over his shoulder. "Nasty thing those crosses," he shook his head. His eyebrow raised, "Oooh.. now what do we have here?" he grinned. "Tsk tsk, Buffy, what'd you think this was going to do? Did you think I was just going to look at it and suddenly revert back to that disgusting display I used to be?" A low chuckle rose in his throat, "Sorry, honey, slayer you may be, but gypsy spell caster you will never make." Slowly he began tossing the crystal orb up and down in his hand. With a growl Buffy propelled herself into the air, driving her foot into his chest, knocking him to the ground between the two dead girls. She threw herself on top of him, rasing the stake she still held over his chest, preparing to drive it deep into his heart. It was at that moment, as the stake hung suspended in the air, that the orb Angel held in his hand began to glow brightly. Buffy's eyes were immediately drawn to the light of the orb that had suddenly began to issue a low buzzing sound that filled her mind. Without warning Angel howled in agony, his body jerking upwards and out. The strength of his convulsions sent Buffy flying backwards, cracking her head on a sharp rock protruding from the earth. Her head sank sideways, but through the fuzzy greyness filling her sight, a car parked on the side of the cemetary path came into vision. "Giles?" she whispered weakly, hardly noticing as the watcher climbed back into the driver's seat of the car and dissapeared out the cemetary gates. "Oh, Giles." Angel's groans softened, and Buffy forced her head around to see what was happening. Sharp stabs of pain burst behind her eyes, but shoving her own discomfort to the side, she took in the sight of Angel's still form. She sighed. As blessed darkness finally took over, Buffy realized one thing. For better or worse, it was finally over. ********************* "And then you woke me up." Buffy shrugged softly. "End of the whole miserable story." Angel frowned, "Not the end, Buffy, the beginning." "What's that supposed to mean?" "While Spike is still in Sunnydale, this will not ever be over. We have to do something about this now while it's all still fresh." "You mean....?" Angel nodded. "I'm going back, Buff. We need to know what Spike and Dru are going to do next. The easiest way to go about it is by sending me back in under cover so to speak." Buffy blinked, "Angel... if they find you out they'll kill you." He nodded, "But once they realize I'm no longer Angelus they'll try to kill me anyway. So I may as well get something done before that happens." "Negative, much?" "It's the truth, Buff, and you know it as well as me." Angel sighed. "When will you go?" "Tonight. I have to get back before they realize anything has happened. One day missing is easy to explain, but two will be hard. I have to get back before sunrise." Buffy cast her eyes downward. "Well... there's still a few hours before dawn.. maybe we could just hang for a while?" He shook his head, "You need to get home. We have enough problems as it is. If your mom finds out you've been out until dawn two nights in a row..." "I'm dead. Ya, I know I know." Softly he stroked his fingers through her hair, a gentle sigh on his lips as he looked at her lovingly. "We'll have other nights, Buff. I promise. Tonight we both have to do what we must. It's the only way to get through this." With only the slightest of hesitation Buffy pressed her lips to his in a feather light kiss, then rested her hand on his shoulder. "Then let's get through this and move on." She climbed to her feet and they walked to the door. "Will you walk me home before going back?" He nodded silently and the two passed through the doors of his building out into the night. Angel was right. There was a long way to go before this would be finished. ************** End Part Six. *************** Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Path of Least Resistance" (2/3) Date: 06 May 1998 20:56:51 EDT Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ When he awoke, it was still dark outside, and he was lying on his front porch, curled up on the swing his parents had put in when he was just a kid. He could remember when he and Willow used to sit here, her Barbie Dolls dating his G.I. Joes, and now he...he... What was going _on_, he asked himself. Why did he feel so...woozy? Wiggy? Spaced-out? Yes. Spaced out. That was right. Yes. He was spaced out. Why was he spaced out? He hadn't been partying. He hadn't been drunk. He hadn't been...what was going _on_?! He shook his head once, twice, trying to clear it and figure out what it was that was going on and why was his entire mind so _muddled_? Deep breaths. First thing was first. He and Cordelia had been out the night before. At the Bronze. She had to leave early...because...for some reason...and he was... He was very, very messed up. He sighed. This absolutely sucked. He sighed again, deeper this time. He was going to have to call Cordelia and find out who she had left him with, and what she'd been slipping in his drink, if she had, or maybe somebody else had, though why anyone would feel like getting him drunk, he wasn't quite sure. Wasn't as if he was considered especially amazing, he knew. Sitting up slowly, Xander watched a piece of paper flutter to the porch floor, and leaned over to pick it up. A single word had been scrawled there: "Tasty." Xander shuddered violently, dropping the piece of paper as his hand moved to his throat, connecting with two small puncture wounds. "Ohgod," he whispered, feeling himself pale. "Ohhh god." He looked around, and saw that it the sun still hadn't sparked over the horizen. Yet. He drew in a deep breath, swallowing quickly as he stood, tearing down the stairs and breaking into a run, top speed. He could get there before daylight broke, and she had an actual basement, not just a dinky little laundry room. *Great. So I'm gonna spend the night at _Willow's_. Just what we both need. Not like I've got any choice in the matter, because there isn't anywhere else mom and dad'd not throw a fit if I went, but I mean, really. Willow. This is great. Real funny. Funny weird, not funny ha-ha. This is _not_ funny ha-ha, in the least, at all. Definately very not funny ha-ha. Because now some kooky undead creep has gone and turned me into some kind of freakish...* He was ranting. And he was at Willow's now. He reached up and rapped gently on the door. "Will?" he hissed. "_Willow_!" She was lying curled up on her bed, tucked under her quilt, apparently not even hearing him. And if she didn't _hurry the hell up_, he was gonna get fried, and...and... "_WILLOW_!" She jerked up suddenly, turning over in bed and staring at the window. Her lips moved, but no sound came through the window. He motioned for her to open the window, which she promptly hopped off the bed and did. "Xander?" she asked, confusion etched into her expression. "What are you doing here?" Quickly, Xander hopped over the windowsill, thanking God that WIllow lived in a split-level. "Something bit me," he said, as he moved into the room, then turned to look at her. "Willow, one of those things _bit_ me." "What?!" shock and concern flooded her features. He pulled down the neck of his t-shirt a bit, then tilted his head to one side, exposing the bite marks. "Something bit me." His brow furrowed. "And it itches." "Well don't scratch it!" Willow yelped, "Xander, cut that out!" She grabbed his hand, and forced it down to his side, inspecting the wound. "What _happened_?" "I don't know," he said. "Cordie and I were out and then the next thing I know, I'm waking up on my front porch ready to be _toast_ when daylight comes along!" Willow's eyes widened and she took a couple steps back. "You mean, you, one of them--" "I don't know," Xander said. "I have no idea. Didn't you catch the part where I said _I don't remember what happened_?!" Willow bit her lip. "Yoy, Will," he said quickly, "didn't mean it like that, I just, I'm freaking out, just a little, you know what I mean?" "I-- I can imagine, I guess, yes," she replied. "But...shouldn't we, um, go find Buffy, maybe?" "No!" he yelped. "Will, she's a vampire _Slayer_!" He shook his head emphatically. "She'd kill me!" "Only _if_ you were...you know, and I don't think she would, I mean...you don't seem like you'd be, a, um, very evil vampire..." "Neither did her ex-boyfriend at first," Xander said, "at least, not to you guys, even though _I_ said from the very beginning that guy was bad news, coming in all creepy-like and giving us the whole tortured routine, because see, I _knew_ something like this was gonna happen, and--" Willow shook her head. "Xander?" she interrupted. "Yeah?" he asked, feeling his heart pumping harder in his chest. He wondered if that was a symptom of becoming a vampire. Except he wasn't sure if their hearts beat. Except if they didn't, maybe that was just because he hadn't quite finished dying yet? Which would explain why he wasn't being posessed by some freaky-ass demon and going all vampoid on Willow right now. "Be-- be calm," Willow urged him. "Just...settle down." Xander nodded, then shook his head. "Settle down, Willow, how am I supposed to settle down?! I may never see sunlight again!" She smiled slightly. "You're not even sure one of them did anything to you." "I know I got bit!" he yelped. "Bitten! And _shh_, you're gonna wake up my, um, parents and I'll have to explain, you know, why you're here!" "Okay," he said, lowering his voice in volume but not in tone. "I'm just kinda wiggin' out right now." "Okay." "Okay." "Everything's okay?" "No." He shook his head. "Not okay. At all. Very not okay. And you know what, I had this exact same conversation with myself on the way over, and you know, it just doesn't _help_ any because if I got vamped by one of those freaks, there's nothing we can do, because I'm going to lose my soul and that'll be all there is to it! Zip! Kaput! End of Xander as we know him!" "Maybe the next one will be, you know, a little less likely to freak out?" "Not _likely_," Xander said, starting to pace. He reached the doorway, then turned around and looked at her. "He'll probably be much more likely to, you know, go all nuts and stuff. And like, when he gets yelled at in class for not having his homework--" "You couldn't go to class if you were a vampire," Willow interjected. "Okay, but there would still be night classes. Or something." "You wouldn't go to them." "I know. This is for the sake of argument." Willow nodded an okay. "But if there's a whole new me, that would just..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "Will, you realize, if I die now, I'm gonna die a virgin!" Her expression suddenly shifted, somewhere between horrified and hopeful now. Then she shook her head. "Well, but you'll have your whole un-life to lose your virginity." "But Buffy'll want to kill me!" "She won't." Willow shook her head. "Look at how she was to Angel." "Yeah, but I'm not about to kill a family of gypsies," Xander hissed. There was silence for a moment, then Willow said quietly, "Well...maybe that's a good thing." Xander shook his head. "For the gypsies, maybe. What about me? What about my needs?" "Well, look at it this way," Willow said. "If you, you know, did kill the gypsies, you could only have the soul until you, well...you know." Xander's eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me?" Willow went suddenly pale. "Oh. Oops." He shook his head, walking back over to her. "No...what's 'oops'? I don't like oops. Oops is confusing. I'm confused enough as it is." Willow took a breath, shaking her head. "No. I'm not supposed to have, um, said anything abo ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "The Path Of Least Resistance" (1/3) Date: 06 May 1998 20:56:29 EDT Feedback: Yes, please, to KylenRevik@aol.com. Distribution: Not without my express permission, please. Notes: This one takes place after Angel turns evil, before Spike walks, in around thataway. Before the ep where Oz is a werewolf. Standard disclaimers apply. Comments deeply desired, thankee! :) ~ "The Path of Least Resistance" "So, Xander Harris. How do you feel?" The voice asking the question was low, cruel, controlled. From where he'd been shoved, in the corner of a small, dark room, Xander glared up at his captor. Angelus' eyes met his prey's, and the smile he'd been wearing widened a bit. "Well?" he asked again, "How do you feel?" Xander shrugged, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel, deep in the pit of his stomach. "How am I supposed to feel?" he asked. "You've got me locked up in the middle of nowhere, and it's three in the morning." He was exhausted, he knew, and he thought he might be scared, but there was no way he was going to tell that to _Angelus_. He shook his head. "If you were a hot _woman_, I might be feeling something, but you're not. So I'm not." Angelus laughed. "You know," he said, crouching across the room, "you're a funny guy, Xander." He shook his head, chuckling again and resting his chin in his hand. "A really...funny...guy." The two watched each other for a silent moment before Angelus spoke again. "I could keep you around for a laugh, I suppose," he said quietly, standing without using his hands for leverage. Slowly, almost cautiously, the predator walked in a wide arc around Xander-- and the high schooler watched his every move as one stalked would watch the one stalking him. Only then did Xander really realize how close he was to panic. Then again, he supposed, he was completely defenseless, and locked in a room with the most powerful vampire he knew of. Why shouldn't he be panicking? "Look," he finally said. "Is there some reason I'm here?" With yet another eerie chuckle, Angelus nodded. The dark, almost bitter laugh scared Xander almost more than the silence that had preceeded it. "Of course there's a reason," he snapped when the laughter died off. The way he was looking at Xander seemed to add a "you stupid, petty mortal" to the end of the statement, but that might have been Xander's imagination and paranoia speaking, and not what was implied in Angelus expression at all. "And..." Xander finally ventured to say, albeit uneasily, "um, what would that reason _be_? " "Simple," Angelus said, his arcing path closing in by about half a foot. "You're in love with Buffy." Xander's jaw dropped. "Of all the-- I-- that--!" He hadn't been expecting that at _all_. In fact, he'd been thinking more along the lines of Angelus not liking his hair, or Angelus wanting to dine on a nice, tasty high school student. His reaction had obviously been the one Angelus had intended to get, because the vampire smiled. "She's good in bed, you know that?" Xander's eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me, but I didn't want to--" "--Know that? Do you take me for an idiot, Harris?" Angelus shook his head. "You hated me from the day I walked into her life." A fang-baring smile. "Because you knew I'd be the one who got into her pants first." Xander winced, not wanting to acknowledge the small amount of truth in the statement. Small amount. Very, very small amount. Because even if he did like Buffy-- hell, even if he loved her-- he didn't think it was quite fair to ascribe him such ignoble intentions. Besides. Unlike Angelus, apparently, he had never _acted_ on the attraction. Though not for lack of trying. He sighed. "If you're gonna try and psyche me out or something, I can tell you right now it won't--" He broke off in a choke as Angelus darted forward and grabbed him by the throat, pinning him to the wall. He gasped, struggling like a helpless kitten in the vampire's grasp. "Don't try to bullshit me, Harris," Angelus snapped. "You should know, there's no real way to win this argument." Xander clawed, futilly, at the fingers that were wrapped around his neck, his eyes bulging slightly as the air in his lungs was quickly being used up. "What's the matter?" Angelus asked, his voice showing a sympathy Xander knew was false. "Little boy needs a breath of air?" His lips twisted into a cruel smile. "Maybe, if you ask very, _very_ nicely..." Already pleading with his eyes, Xander choked something out that might have, in some foreign dialect, meant "LET ME GO!" It came out sounding more like a helpless gurgle. Still, Angelus let him go. Xander fell several inches to the floor-- then he crumpled down the rest of the way, so he was sitting, staring up all however many feet it was into Angelus cold, calculating expression. "So, Xander," Angelus said. "How do you think Buffy would feel if I left your body on her doorstep?" There was no answer. "Or if I turned you into a ghoul? Or better yet, a vampire?" Suppressing a shiver, Xander snapped, "I hope she'd have the sense to kill me." *You know,* he thought, *I wish I could have half the conviction _feeling_ that as I do saying it to this jerk.* Inwardly, he sighed. "Oh yes," Angelus replied. "There is that. Our Buffy _is_ notoriously soft-hearted, isn't she." "Something you'll never have to worry about being." "And thank the devil for _that_." Xander gave him a sharp glare, but Angelus wasn't phased. There were a few moments of silence, then Angelus reached up and patted Xander on the cheek. "Poor, misguided boy," he sighed. "You know, I'm tempted. I'm really tempted." He grinned. "But...no." "What are you--" "Don't interrupt," Angelus said, cutting him off. His tone was just angry enough to keep Xander from snapping a sharp reply. Instead, he froze-- until Angelus moved away and Xander could start breathing again. Angelus sighed, looking at him for a few seconds, then shook his head. "See," he said, "I just don't _get_ this. What do you think she'd ever see in you?" Xander's forehead creased in confusion. "Why are you fixating on it?" he asked quickly. Too quickly. He tried covering himself with an additional few lines. "I mean, unless you've still got a thing for her, which we both know isn't true, what's it matter to you?" Angelus shrugged. "No reason. I just wasn't sure what you thought the Slayer would want to have that a loser like you has to offer." Xander looked at Angelus for a moment. "You're kidding about all this. Right?" Angelus shrugged, then shook his head. "Not really." "What is the _point_ to this?!" Xander blurted out. "Why does it even _matter_, if I'm in love with her or not, and how long are you planning on keeping me here?!" Angelus looked amused. "Oh...it matters. You'll have _so_ much more fun with this if you feel for her." Xander felt another spark of fear at the expression that came across Angelus's face as he spoke the words. "Th-this?" he stammered. "What's 'this'?" "This." Before Xander had the chance to dodge him, Angelus took a few quick steps toward him, then grabbed and forced Xander to the wall. Despite his best efforts, Xander found himself securely pinned, his struggles ineffective. Then, the vampire tilted Xander's head to one side, keeping him against the wall, and leaned in to lock his jaws over Xander's jugular. Later, Xander wouldn't know if he had passed out from lack of blood, or from fear. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ut that. To, um, anybody." "About what?" "About Angel losing his soul." Xander's eyes narrowed slightly. "Whoa. Hold on...a second." "Yeah?" "You're saying..." "Nothing, I'm not saying anything, because Buffy told me not to say anything." Xander sighed and shook his head. "Willow, come on, you know me, you've never kept a secret from me in your life before...come on..." His mind was racing to try and draw whatever connections it was Willow had made between what he had been saying about losing his virginity and... ...it clicked. Oh dear. "She didn't." Willow didn't answer him. So she did. He shook his head. "Nooo...oohh, that's a bad thing." He looked up at her. "How come nobody ever told me?" "Because," Willow said. "We just kind of thought it might not go over so well, you know, you liking her and all..." "She didn't..." he looked at the expression on Willow's face and shook his head. "...or maybe she did. Wow. Jeepers." He shook his head. "That was the...one moment of true happiness thing?" Willow nodded weakly. "You didn't figure it out yet?" Xander shook his head, rubbing his chin a little. "No, I didn't. And I mena, that in and of itself is slightly odd, considering that sex is basically the only thing I ever _do_ think about so far as Buffy is concerned..." He bit his lip, glancing up at Willow to gauge her reaction, knowing darn well that the whole idea of him liking Buffy wasn't something that went over incredibly well with her, but what was he supposed to do? Just say yes, he would completely forget about this beautiful, amazing young woman, and not only that but dump his current gorgeous girlfriend, and go out with the girl he considered his sister? And since he didn't know how to deal with the fact that Willow didn't seem to be thinking about him in a sisterly/brotherly fashion any more these days, he had decided he was just going to ignore the whole thing and hope it went away. Soon. Because this was just too plain wiggy. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Path Of Least Resistance (3/3) Date: 06 May 1998 20:57:07 EDT Willow watched him patiently as he continued trying to muddle things out in his mind, but after a few seconds even that began to get to be just a tad freakish. "How long till sunrise?" he finally asked. Willow glanced at her clock. "An hour and a half." "Sun's rising early these days." "Yeah." There were another few moments of silence before Xander thought of something new to say. "Will?" "Yeah?" "Can I stay in your basement?" "Sure." "Can you sneak me past your parents' bedroom?" "I, um, I think so." "Can we do that now?" "You've got a whole hour and, and a half. And what if you, if you're not a vampire, then what?" "Then," Xander said, "I am going to stay down there and get very, very pale." He did his best to stay straight-faced, but it didn't work out so well. Before he knew what was going on, he had let a short chuckle out. It was catching-- soon, both he and Willow were doubled over and laughing harder than either of them would have thought possible, under the circumstances. The laughter slowly faded, though, leaving them much more sober than they had been before. "Xander?" Willow said quietly. "Do you really think, you know, that you...?" She trailed off, not asking the question. He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "I'm...kind of not sure. I'd think I'd feel different, you know, but then I think and I do feel slightly different, but maybe that's just because I'm _looking_ for differences." "Like a hypochondriac?" "But with vampires and urges to bite necks and drink blood." Willow's eyes widened. "You've got a craving for blood?" she asked. "I don't think so, no. But I mean...what if it's just like..." He shook his head. "Okay. Say I do have a craving for blood, but I don't recognize it." "How could you not recognize it?" "Because maybe it's just like having a craving for...chocolate." He grinned. "You're a woman, that should be the right analogy." "On behalf of the women of the world, I..." But Willow couldn't finish, and both started laughing again, albeit quietly so as to keep from awaking her parents. "You veel _agree_," Xander said, "Be-koss you are a _vomen_ and I haf _seen_ your kind with zee chocolate barz." At the badly hammed up transylvanian accent, Willow's laughter got even more intense, and soon the girl was hugging herself tightly and curled up on the bed, shaking Xander let a slight grin slip over his lips, but it lasted only a moment-- because then he realized...Willow was crying. He swallowed. "Will?" he asked, unsure of what had just happened to change her mood. She didn't answer-- so he leaned forward slightly, placing a cautious hand on her shoulder. "Willow," he said, "you okay?" She shook her head slightly, but didn't answer for a long time. When she did finally speak, there were still tears in her voice. "I...I don't want you to be a-- a vampire..." she said softly. He sighed and squeezed her shoulder a little. "I know," he said. "Me neither." Slowly, she moved to sit up a little more, and brushed her eyes with the back of her hand. They looked at each other for a long moment. She was biting her lip, and Xander felt a sudden wrenching feeling deep in his chest, realizing a split second before she leaned forward, what she was about to do. He backed up quickly, his hands moving to her shoulders to keep her away. "Will," he said, "let's not do that just yet, okay?" She looked at him, and he thought he might have seen something snap in her eyes at that moment, but he had no idea what it was or where it had come from, and all he could do was hate himself for being the one who had most likely caused it. Finally, she nodded, ever so slightly. "Okay," she said, her voice no more than a whisper. "I just..." She curled up a little smaller. "Don't-- don't leave me." Xander nodded, pulling her into a bear hug with a sigh. "No worries," he said. "No plans to leave here. No plans here at all." He smiled slightly. "I am somewhat flattered, Will, that you would think me capable of having such a thing as a plan." She shook a little in his arms, and as he was unsure of whether it was in laughter or tears, Xander didn't move. Just sat there, holding her, the thought of whether or not the sun was coming up somehow the furthest thing from his mind. * "_Xander_?!" Xander jerked awake, his hand moving to his neck and then further up to where the sun was streaming in through the window. He wondered why he wasn't ashes yet. Or burning alive. Burning undead. Whichever. Either way. He squinted at the doorway. "Mrs. Rosenberg?" he asked. He turned and looked at Willow, who was standing in the doorway to the bathroom and had been brushing her teeth until her mother had appeared in the doorway. "Xander?" she said again. Then Willow's mother walked a little further into the room. "Willow," she asked, "what is Xander doing over this early in the morning? Not," she added, glancing back at Xander, "that we have any problem with you coming over, it just seems that you would want to be getting ready for school right now." Willow shook her head, smiling slightly. "He kind of stayed out past his curfew last night," she said, "so he woke me up in the middle of the night and wanted to spend the night because his parents would kill him if he came in so early. And we were really quiet." "Yeah," Xander interjected. "No blowing up tanks and Barbie Paradise Castles this time." He flashed Mrs. Rosenberg with a smile. And she bought it. Smiling weakly back at him, she nodded slowly. "Alright, kids," she said. "But hurry up, kids, because Willow's dad can drive you to school in about twenty minutes." Both teens nodded, and Willow's mom left. Xander glanced over at the girl, and shook his head. "Your parents are _so cool_," he said. "You know, my mom would kill me if I had a girl in my room." Willow smiled slightly. "I bet," she said. "You gonna wear that to school?" Xander shrugged, looking down at his outfit. "Eh, sure," he said. Then he looked at her. "Will...about last night..." "It's okay," she said. "If you had turned out to be a vampire, you know, I would have wanted to know that you were comfortable enough with me to, to just drop in and say so. And I really don't mind. And I don't have any tests today so I don't even have to worry about having gotten enough sleep!" "And I didn't bring my books home with me anyway, so _I_ don't even have to worry about not having them in classes today." Willow nodded and smiled. "Perfect, then. Mom'll make us pancakes if we get downstairs soon enough." "Sounds good," Xander said, getting up off the bed and moving toward the door. "I'm just gonna finish getting ready to go," Willow said. "Cool," Xander said, rubbing his neck absently as he walked out of the room and downstairs, thanking his lucky stars that he had apparently only been a snack-- and not a potential convert-- to whoever it was who had attacked him the night before. If only he could remember who it was. He sighed. He had the feeling it would make a difference, too. Oh well. No matter. He smiled slightly. He wasn't undead, he hadn't burned to death in the sun, and he was now going to be served some of the best pancakes he'd ever tasted, in his entire life, from the time he was six up till now. His own mom wasn't much of a cook, but Mrs. Rosenberg was, in short, amazing. The scent of cooking pancakes was already wafting up the stairs. Xander tossed a glance back at the door to Willow's room, then took the steps two at a time to get downstairs, wondering if he could flatter Mrs. Rosenberg into possibly not telling his parents where he had been all night long. The End Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody ~ Feedback to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. :) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: ACK! READ ASAP! Re: The Path Of Least Resistance" READ FIRST! Date: 06 May 1998 21:20:02 EDT ::shrieks:: AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! I mailed the wrong version! Oh _god_... ::sighs:: Crapola. I keep drafts of everyting on my puter and sent the wrong _one_...I'll send the fixed one ASAP, oh my _god_ I can't believe I did this... ::deepsigh:: Crapola, like I said, please nobody read the version I sent out just a few minutes ago please... Rach Bright Red And Getting Redder... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: TPoLR. Real vers, read this one please! (1/3) Date: 06 May 1998 21:48:05 EDT :blushing soooo furiously:: Okay. Found the real version. I'm soooo sorry. And REALLY embarassed. Anyway. Please excuse me for my sheer idiocy. ::sigh:: Here's the real one, tho! :) Oh, and spelling errors are my own because my spellchecker is broken until my dad brings me the new disks so I can re-install word-perfect. ::sigh:: I've done my best to catch things, but if there is anything and anyone spots it, please let me know because I can't run a spellcheck until I get my wordperfect program fixed. ::sigh:: ~ Feedback: Yes, please, to KylenRevik@aol.com. Time: Takes place between Angel turning evil and the Oz-is-a-werewolf ep. Distribution: Not without my express permission, please. ~ "The Path of Least Resistance" "So, Xander Harris. How do you feel?" The voice asking the question was low, cruel, controlled. From where he'd been shoved, in the corner of a small, dark room, Xander glared up at his captor. Angelus' eyes met his prey's, and the smile he'd been wearing widened a bit. "Well?" he asked again, "How do you feel?" Xander shrugged, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel, deep in the pit of his stomach. "How am I supposed to feel?" he asked. "You've got me locked up in the middle of nowhere, and it's three in the morning." He was exhausted, he knew, and he thought he might be scared, but there was no way he was going to tell that to _Angelus_. He shook his head. "If you were a hot _woman_, I might be feeling something, but you're not. So I'm not." Angelus laughed. "You know," he said, crouching across the room, "you're a funny guy, Xander." He shook his head, chuckling again and resting his chin in his hand. "A really...funny...guy." The two watched each other for a silent moment before Angelus spoke again. "I could keep you around for a laugh, I suppose," he said quietly, standing without using his hands for leverage. Slowly, almost cautiously, the predator walked in a wide arc around Xander-- and the high schooler watched his every move as one stalked would watch the one stalking him. Only then did Xander really realize how close he was to panic. Then again, he supposed, he was completely defenseless, and locked in a room with the most powerful vampire he knew of. Why shouldn't he be panicking? "Look," he finally said. "Is there some reason I'm here?" With yet another eerie chuckle, Angelus nodded. The dark, almost bitter laugh scared Xander almost more than the silence that had preceeded it. "Of course there's a reason," he snapped when the laughter died off. The way he was looking at Xander seemed to add a "you stupid, petty mortal" to the end of the statement, but that might have been Xander's imagination and paranoia speaking, and not what was implied in Angelus expression at all. "And..." Xander finally ventured to say, albeit uneasily, "um, what would that reason _be_? " "Simple," Angelus said, his arcing path closing in by about half a foot. "You're in love with Buffy." Xander's jaw dropped. "Of all the-- I-- that--!" He hadn't been expecting that at _all_. In fact, he'd been thinking more along the lines of Angelus not liking his hair, or Angelus wanting to dine on a nice, tasty high school student. His reaction had obviously been the one Angelus had intended to get, because the vampire smiled. "She's good in bed, you know that?" Xander's eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me, but I didn't want to--" "--Know that? Do you take me for an idiot, Harris?" Angelus shook his head. "You hated me from the day I walked into her life." A fang-baring smile. "Because you knew I'd be the one who got into her pants first." Xander winced, not wanting to acknowledge the small amount of truth in the statement. Small amount. Very, very small amount. Because even if he did like Buffy-- hell, even if he loved her-- he didn't think it was quite fair to ascribe him such ignoble intentions. Besides. Unlike Angelus, apparently, he had never _acted_ on the attraction. Though not for lack of trying. He sighed. "If you're gonna try and psyche me out or something, I can tell you right now it won't--" He broke off in a choke as Angelus darted forward and grabbed him by the throat, pinning him to the wall. He gasped, struggling like a helpless kitten in the vampire's grasp. "Don't try to bullshit me, Harris," Angelus snapped. "You should know, there's no real way to win this argument." Xander clawed, futilly, at the fingers that were wrapped around his neck, his eyes bulging slightly as the air in his lungs was quickly being used up. "What's the matter?" Angelus asked, his voice showing a sympathy Xander knew was false. "Little boy needs a breath of air?" His lips twisted into a cruel smile. "Maybe, if you ask very, _very_ nicely..." Already pleading with his eyes, Xander choked something out that might have, in some foreign dialect, meant "LET ME GO!" It came out sounding more like a helpless gurgle. Still, Angelus let him go. Xander fell several inches to the floor-- then he crumpled down the rest of the way, so he was sitting, staring up all however many feet it was into Angelus cold, calculating expression. "So, Xander," Angelus said. "How do you think Buffy would feel if I left your body on her doorstep?" There was no answer. "Or if I turned you into a ghoul? Or better yet, a vampire?" Suppressing a shiver, Xander snapped, "I hope she'd have the sense to kill me." *You know,* he thought, *I wish I could have half the conviction _feeling_ that as I do saying it to this jerk.* Inwardly, he sighed. "Oh yes," Angelus replied. "There is that. Our Buffy _is_ notoriously soft-hearted, isn't she." "Something you'll never have to worry about being." "And thank the devil for _that_." Xander gave him a sharp glare, but Angelus wasn't phased. There were a few moments of silence, then Angelus reached up and patted Xander on the cheek. "Poor, misguided boy," he sighed. "You know, I'm tempted. I'm really tempted." He grinned. "But...no." "What are you--" "Don't interrupt," Angelus said, cutting him off. His tone was just angry enough to keep Xander from snapping a sharp reply. Instead, he froze-- until Angelus moved away and Xander could start breathing again. Angelus sighed, looking at him for a few seconds, then shook his head. "Still," he sighed, "I just don't _get_ this. What do you think she'd ever see in you?" Xander's forehead creased in confusion. "Why are you fixating on it?" he asked quickly. Too quickly. He tried covering himself with an additional few lines. "I mean, unless you've still got a thing for her, which we both know isn't true, what's it matter to you?" Angelus shrugged. "No reason. I just wasn't sure what you thought the Slayer would want to have that a loser like you has to offer." Xander looked at Angelus for a moment. "You're kidding about all this. Right?" Angelus shrugged, then shook his head. "Not really." "What is the _point_ to this?!" Xander blurted out. "Why does it even _matter_, if I'm in love with her or not, and how long are you planning on keeping me here?!" Angelus looked amused. "No point," he said. "Except that I like playing with my victims before I eat 'em." Xander felt another spark of fear at the expression that came across Angelus's face as he spoke the words. "T-take them?" he stammered. "What, um, exactly would you mean by, by that?" "This." Before Xander had the chance to dodge him, Angelus took a few quick steps toward him, then grabbed and forced Xander to the wall. Despite his best efforts, Xander found himself securely pinned, his struggles ineffective. Then, the vampire tilted Xander's head to one side, keeping him against the wall, and leaned in to lock his jaws over Xander's jugular. Later, Xander wouldn't know if he had passed out from lack of blood, or from fear. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: TPoLR. Real version, please read this one. (2/3) Date: 06 May 1998 21:49:29 EDT When he awoke, it was still dark outside, and he was lying on his front porch, curled up on the swing his parents had put in when he was just a kid. With the worst headache he'd ever had. In his entire _life_. He could remember when he and Willow used to sit here, her Barbie Dolls dating his G.I. Joes, and now he...he... What was going _on_, he asked himself. Why did he feel so...woozy? Wiggy? Spaced-out? Yes. Spaced out. That was right. Yes. He was spaced out. Why was he spaced out? He hadn't been partying. He hadn't been drunk. He hadn't been...what was going _on_?! He shook his head once, twice, trying to clear it and figure out what it was that was going on and why was his entire mind so _muddled_? Deep breaths. First thing was first. He and Cordelia had been out the night before. At the Bronze. She had to leave early...because...for some reason...and he was... He was very, very messed up. He sighed. This absolutely sucked. He sighed again, deeper this time. He was going to have to call Cordelia and find out who she had left him with, and what she'd been slipping in his drink, if she had, or maybe somebody else had, though why anyone would feel like getting him drunk, he wasn't quite sure. Wasn't as if he was considered especially amazing, he knew. Sitting up slowly, Xander watched a piece of paper flutter to the porch floor, and leaned over to pick it up. A single word had been scrawled there: "Tasty." Xander shuddered violently, dropping the piece of paper as his hand moved to his throat, connecting with two small puncture wounds. "Ohgod," he whispered, feeling himself pale. "Ohhh god." He looked around, and saw that it the sun still hadn't sparked over the horizen. Yet. Then...he had time to get to Willow's. Possibly, maybe, if he was _incredibly_ lucky. He drew in a deep breath, swallowing quickly as he stood, tearing down the stairs and breaking into a run, top speed. He could get there before daylight broke, and she had an actual basement, not just a dinky little laundry room. *Great. So I'm gonna spend the night at _Willow's_. Just what we both need. Not like I've got any choice in the matter, because there isn't anywhere else I could go where mom and dad wouldn't throw a fit, but I mean, really...sleeping over at Willow's. This is great. Real funny. Funny weird, not funny ha-ha. This is _not_ funny ha-ha, in the least, at all. Definately very not funny ha-ha. Because now some kooky undead creep has very possibly gone and turned me into some kind of freakish...* He was ranting. And he was at Willow's now. He reached up and rapped gently on the door. "Will?" he hissed. "_Willow_!" She was lying curled up on her bed, tucked under her quilt, apparently not even hearing him. And if she didn't _hurry the hell up_, he was gonna wind up getting fried, and...and... "_WILLOW_!" She jerked up suddenly, turning over in bed and staring at the window. Her lips moved, but no sound came through the window. He motioned for her to open the window, which she promptly hopped off the bed and did. "Xander?" she asked, confusion etched into her expression. "What are you doing here?" Quickly, Xander hopped over the windowsill, thanking God that WIllow lived in a split-level. "Something bit me," he said, as he moved into the room, then turned to look at her. "Willow, one of those things _bit_ me." "What?!" Shock and concern flooded her features. He pulled down the neck of his t-shirt a bit, then tilted his head to one side, exposing the bite marks. "Something bit me." His brow furrowed. "And it itches." "Well don't scratch it!" Willow yelped as he reached up toward the marks. "Xander, cut that out!" She grabbed his hand, and forced it down to his side, inspecting the wound. "What _happened_?" "I don't know," he said. "Cordie and I were out and then the next thing I know, I'm waking up on my front porch ready to be _toast_ when daylight comes along!" Willow's eyes widened and she took a couple steps back. "You mean, you, one of them--" "I don't know," Xander said. "I have no idea. Didn't you catch the part where I said _I don't remember what happened_?!" Willow bit her lip. "Yoy, Will," he said quickly, "didn't mean it like that, I just, I'm freaking out, just a little, you know what I mean?" "I-- I can imagine, I guess, yes," she replied. "But...shouldn't we, um, go find Buffy, maybe?" "No!" he yelped. "Will, she's a vampire _Slayer_!" He shook his head emphatically. "She'd kill me!" "Only _if_ you were...you know, and I don't think she would, I mean...you don't seem like you'd be, a, um, very evil vampire..." "Neither did her ex-boyfriend at first," Xander said, "at least, not to you guys, even though _I_ said from the very beginning that guy was bad news, coming in all creepy-like and giving us the whole tortured routine, because see, I _knew_ something like this was gonna happen, and--" Willow shook her head. "Xander?" she interrupted. "Yeah?" he asked, feeling his heart pumping harder in his chest. He wondered if that was a symptom of becoming a vampire. Except he wasn't sure if their hearts beat. Except if they didn't, maybe that was just because he hadn't quite finished dying yet? Which would explain why he wasn't being posessed by some freaky-ass demon and going all vampoid on Willow right now. "Be-- be calm," Willow urged him. "Just...settle down." Xander nodded, then shook his head. "Settle down, Willow, how am I supposed to settle down?! I may never see sunlight again!" She smiled slightly. "You're not even sure one of them did anything to you." "I know I got bit!" he yelped. "Bitten! And _shh_, you're gonna wake up my, um, parents and I'll have to explain, you know, why you're here!" "Okay," he said, lowering his voice in volume but not in tone. "I'm just kinda wiggin' out right now." "Okay." "Okay." "Everything's okay?" "No." He shook his head. "Not okay. At all. Very not okay. And you know what, I had this exact same conversation with myself on the way over, and you know, it just doesn't _help_ any because if I got vamped by one of those freaks, there's nothing we can do, because I'm going to lose my soul and that'll be all there is to it! Zip! Kaput! End of Xander as we know him!" "Maybe the next one will be, you know, a little less likely to freak out?" "Not _likely_," Xander said, starting to pace. He reached the doorway, then turned around and looked at her. "He'll probably be much more likely to, you know, go all nuts and stuff. And like, when he gets yelled at in class for not having his homework--" "You couldn't go to class if you were a vampire," Willow interjected. "Okay, but there would still be night classes. Or something." "You wouldn't go to them." "I know. This is for the sake of argument." Willow nodded an okay. "But if there's a whole new me, that would just..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "Will, you realize, if I die now, I'm gonna die a virgin!" Her expression suddenly shifted, somewhere between horrified and hopeful now. Then she shook her head. "Well, but you'll have your whole un-life to lose your virginity." "But Buffy'll want to kill me!" "She won't." Willow shook her head. "Look at how she was to Angel." "Yeah, but I'm not about to kill a family of gypsies," Xander hissed. There was silence for a moment, then Willow said quietly, "Well...maybe that's a good thing." Xander shook his head. "For the gypsies, maybe. What about me? What about my needs?" "Well, look at it this way," Willow said. "If you, you know, did kill the gypsies, you could only have the soul until you, well...you know, did it." Xander's eyes widened slightly. "Excuse me?" He wasn't sure why, but the words sounded somehow familiar. Not so much the actual words as the meaning behind them. Willow went suddenly pale. "Oh. Oops." He shook his head, walking back over to her. "No...what's 'oops'? I don't like oops. Oops is confusing. I'm confused enough as it is." Willow took a breath, shaking her head. "No. I'm not supposed to have, um, said anything about that. To, um, anybody." "About what?" "About Angel losing his soul." Xander's eyes narrowed slightly. "Whoa. Hold on...a second." "Yeah?" "You're saying..." "Nothing, I'm not saying anything, because Buffy told me not to say anything." Xander sighed and shook his head. "Willow, come on, you know me, you've never kept a secret from me in your life before...come on..." His mind was racing to try and draw whatever connections it was Willow had made between what he had been saying about losing his virginity and something he was sure he'd heard and... ...it clicked. Oh dear. "She didn't." Willow didn't answer him. So she did. He shook his head. "Nooo...oohh, that's a bad thing." He looked up at her. "How come nobody ever told me?" This was _way_ too freaky. Because...even though he knew nobody had ever told him anything about this, or was reasonably sure of that, anyway, he...had the feeling he had somehow known about Angel and Buffy. Before. If that was what Willow was saying. Which it wasn't. Because...because, well, it just wasn't. "Because," Willow said. "We just kind of thought it might not go over so well, you know, you liking her and all..." "She didn't..." he looked at the expression on Willow's face and shook his head. "...or maybe she did. Wow. Jeepers." He shook his head. "That was the...one moment of true happiness thing?" Willow nodded weakly. "You hadn't figured it out by now?" Xander shook his head, rubbing his chin a little. "No, I did _not_. And I mean, that in and of itself is slightly odd, considering that sex is basically the only thing I ever _do_ think about so far as Buffy is concerned..." He bit his lip, glancing up at Willow to gauge her reaction, knowing darn well that the whole idea of him liking Buffy wasn't something that went over incredibly well with her, but what was he supposed to do? Just say yes, he would completely forget about this beautiful, amazing young woman, and not only that but dump his current gorgeous girlfriend, and go out with the girl he considered his sister? And since he didn't know how to deal with the fact that Willow didn't seem to be thinking about him in a sisterly/brotherly fashion any more these days, he had decided he was just going to ignore the whole thing and hope it went away. Soon. Because this was just too plain wiggy. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: TPoLR. Real Version, read this one please. (3/3) Date: 06 May 1998 21:50:12 EDT Willow watched him patiently as he continued trying to muddle things out in his mind, but after a few seconds even that began to get to be just a tad freakish. "How long till sunrise?" he finally asked. Willow glanced at her clock. "An hour and a half." "Sun's rising early these days." "Yeah." There were another few moments of silence before Xander thought of something new to say. "Will?" "Yeah?" "Can I stay in your basement?" "Sure." "Can you sneak me past your parents' bedroom?" "I, um, I think so." "Can we do that now?" "You've got a whole hour and, and a half. And what if you, if you're not a vampire, then what?" "Then," Xander said, "I am going to stay down there and get very, very pale." He did his best to stay straight-faced, but it didn't work out so well. Before he knew what was going on, he had let a short chuckle out. It was catching-- soon, both he and Willow were doubled over and laughing harder than either of them would have thought possible, under the circumstances. The laughter slowly faded, though, leaving them much more sober than they had been before. "Xander?" Willow said quietly. "Do you really think, you know, that you...?" She trailed off, not asking the question. He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "I'm...kind of not sure. I'd think I'd feel different, you know, but then I think and I do feel slightly different, but maybe that's just because I'm _looking_ for differences." "Like a hypochondriac?" "But with vampires and urges to bite necks and drink blood." Willow's eyes widened. "You've got a craving for blood?" she asked. "I don't think so, no. But I mean...what if it's just like..." He shook his head. "Okay. Say I do have a craving for blood, but I don't recognize it." "How could you not recognize it?" "Because maybe it's just like having a craving for...chocolate." He grinned. "You're a woman, that should be the right analogy." "On behalf of the women of the world, I..." But Willow couldn't finish, and both started laughing again, albeit quietly so as to keep from awaking her parents. "You veel _agree_," Xander said, "Be-koss you are a _vomen_ and I haf _seen_ your kind with zee chocolate barz." At the badly hammed up transylvanian accent, Willow's laughter got even more intense, and soon the girl was hugging herself tightly and curled up on the bed, shaking Xander let a slight grin slip over his lips, but it lasted only a moment-- because then he realized...Willow was crying. He swallowed. "Will?" he asked, unsure of what had just happened to change her mood. She didn't answer-- so he leaned forward slightly, placing a cautious hand on her shoulder. "Willow," he said, "you okay?" She shook her head slightly, but didn't answer for a long time. When she did finally speak, there were still tears in her voice. "I...I don't want you to be a-- a vampire..." she said softly. He sighed and squeezed her shoulder a little. "I know," he said. "Me neither." Slowly, she moved to sit up a little more, and brushed her eyes with the back of her hand. They looked at each other for a long moment. She was biting her lip, and Xander felt a sudden wrenching feeling deep in his chest, realizing a split second before she leaned forward, what she was about to do. He backed up quickly, his hands moving to her shoulders to keep her away. "Will," he said, "let's not do that just yet, okay?" She looked at him, and he thought he might have seen something snap in her eyes at that moment, but he had no idea what it was or where it had come from, and all he could do was hate himself for being the one who had most likely caused it. Finally, she nodded, ever so slightly. "Okay," she said, her voice no more than a whisper. "I just..." She curled up a little smaller. "Don't-- don't leave me." Xander nodded, pulling her into a bear hug with a sigh. "No worries," he said. "No plans to leave here. No plans here at all." He smiled slightly. "I am somewhat flattered, Will, that you would think me capable of having such a thing as a plan." She shook a little in his arms, and as he was unsure of whether it was in laughter or tears, Xander didn't move. Just sat there, holding her, the thought of whether or not the sun was coming up somehow the furthest thing from his mind. * "_Xander_?!" Xander jerked awake, his hand moving to his neck and then further up to where the sun was streaming in through the window. He wondered why he wasn't ashes yet. Or burning alive. Burning undead. Whichever. Either way. He squinted at the doorway. "Mrs. Rosenberg?" he asked. He turned and looked at Willow, who was standing in the doorway to the bathroom and had been brushing her teeth until her mother had appeared in the doorway. "Xander?" she said again. Then Willow's mother walked a little further into the room. "Willow," she asked, "what is Xander doing over this early in the morning? Not," she added, glancing back at Xander, "that we have any problem with you coming over, it just seems that you would want to be getting ready for school right now." Willow shook her head, smiling slightly. "He kind of stayed out past his curfew last night," she said, "so he woke me up in the middle of the night and wanted to spend the night because his parents would kill him if he came in so early. And we were really quiet." "Yeah," Xander interjected. "No blowing up tanks and Barbie Paradise Castles this time." He flashed Mrs. Rosenberg with a smile. And she bought it. Smiling weakly back at him, she nodded slowly. "Alright, kids," she said. "But hurry up, kids, because Willow's dad can drive you to school in about twenty minutes." Both teens nodded, and Willow's mom left. Xander glanced over at the girl, and shook his head. "Your parents are _so cool_," he said. "You know, my mom would kill me if I had a girl in my room." Willow smiled slightly. "I bet," she said. "You gonna wear that to school?" Xander shrugged, looking down at his outfit. "Eh, sure," he said. Then he looked at her. "Will...about last night..." "It's okay," she said. "If you had turned out to be a vampire, you know, I would have wanted to know that you were comfortable enough with me to, to just drop in and say so. And I really don't mind. And I don't have any tests today so I don't even have to worry about having gotten enough sleep!" "And I didn't bring my books home with me anyway, so _I_ don't even have to worry about not having them in classes today." Willow nodded and smiled. "Perfect, then. Mom'll make us pancakes if we get downstairs soon enough." "Sounds good," Xander said, getting up off the bed and moving toward the door. "I'm just gonna finish getting ready to go," Willow said. "Cool," Xander said, rubbing his neck absently as he walked out of the room and downstairs, thanking his lucky stars that he had apparently only been a snack-- and not a potential convert-- to whoever it was who had attacked him the night before. If only he could remember who it was. He sighed. He had the feeling it would make a difference, too. Oh well. No matter. He smiled slightly. He wasn't undead, he hadn't burned to death in the sun, and he was now going to be served some of the best pancakes he'd ever tasted, in his entire life, from the time he was six up till now. His own mom wasn't much of a cook, but Mrs. Rosenberg was, in short, amazing. The scent of cooking pancakes was already wafting up the stairs. Xander tossed a glance back at the door to Willow's room, then took the steps two at a time to get downstairs, wondering if he could flatter Mrs. Rosenberg into possibly not telling his parents where he had been all night long. The End Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Pictures of You (part 1) Date: 06 May 1998 19:54:45 -0700 Pictures of you was/is inspired by a Cure song (obviously called Pictures of You). And I know I'm being really bad by having 3 stories out, none of which are finished and adding this one. But I can't help it. I've been listening to this song for an hour now.. my mom thinks I've gone insane. But it rings a bell in my head, so I *have* to write this... I have *no* choice. I've added the lyrics to this (like I did in SOL) but if you go to http://miso.wwa.com/~anaconda/lyrics/picturesofyou.html it has the lyrics and a small interview about why Robert Smith made the song... What can I say? It's really pretty... Lyrics are in ~ tilde's ~ No copyright infringement is intended for either Buffy the Vampire slayer or For Lyrics used by The Cure. One warning though.. this story *was* made during my depression... So it's a little sad... kinda violent.... over all I'm venting here :) Oh, also. I want feedback on this. it's the first time writting Buffy.. I think I screwed both characters up actually, but the stories cute, and that's all that matters, right? Pictures of You (Part 1) She lay on the couch. She should be outside, fighting demons, killing monsters, slaying vampires. But how? How could she go out, when she couldn't even think? When all she saw was his face. His sweet heart, how could this have gone so wrong? Something so beautiful turned to something... So... Hideous? ~ I've been looking so long at these pictures of you ~ ~ That I almost believe that they're real ~ She sniffed again and grabbed another tissue. The movie was running... Some sappy thing her mother had bought. No idea of what the images were saying, her head was seeing another. His face as he grabbed Willow threatening to kill her. As he had grabbed Ms. Calendar, no longer threatening. They had said her neck was snapped... She hadn't felt pain. Her heart ached. Everything was wrong. It was all blowing up on her. The more she tried to do what was right, to help, the worse her precious life became. He wants to hurt her. He wants to have her. Like he already has Drusilla. How could the one person she loved, and trusted among all things... How could her Angel do this? ~ I've been living so long with my pictures of you ~ ~ That I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel ~ He sat, hands steepled in great thought. Thoughts of her, again and again. All he ever saw. All he ever wanted. He would have cursed at his weakness, but he'd been there, done that. And knew, without a doubt that it would turn out right. Just as it had with Drusilla ~ Remembering you standing quiet in the rain ~ ~ As I ran to your heart to be near ~ It was odd. He still wanted to be with her. Not with her soul, or her friends. But he missed her ambition, missed her energy, her mortality... which, he thought oddly still, was so much different than her humanity... That he questioned. How easily she could go out and kill... Yet how easily she could sit down and cry, have meaningful conversations on love and life... ~ And we kissed as the sky fell in holding you close ~ ~ How I always held close in your fear ~ She'd been there for him, countless times. There to say he wasn't a monster. To ease his anguish, his sorrow. To be there. To say she loved him. To say she needed him... Where was he? Where was the man that had promised time and time again to always love her? ~ Remembering you running soft through the night ~ ~ You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow ~ She'd killed him! The only one she'd ever loved. She'd killed him in passion. In lust, in her love for him, she had destroyed his soul. The very essence of him. "I'm so sorry" she told to herself... Because she couldn't tell him... He was gone... He was gone, never to return. She had to tell herself this... She had to stop pretending that he would come back. That happily ever after does happen. ~ And screamed at the make-believe ~ ~ Screamed at the sky ~ Wondering idly where his soul was. Remembering all the nights, all the hours spent with her. It was as though he were the same. If not a bit more full... Filled with passion. Passion for her, she ought to feel honored. He loved her so much. He would hurt her. Though it had been she that freed him, just as Darla had freed him, so many years ago. He wanted her, her body, her soul, her heart. He wanted everything that made her the slayer. He wanted to hold her life in the palm of his hands, no longer struggling, no longer grieving. He wanted to have her. All of her. ~ And you finally found all your courage to let it all go ~ She caught her breath, knowing still that mourning couldn't make her stronger, couldn't help her to kill him. Though the tears, how easily they came now. It was easier to cry, easier to breath. Harder still to sleep, harder to hold her head up high as Willow talked giddy of oz. As Cordelia snapped at Xander... Their snide remarks to hurt each other... Up in her room, she turned the ring, in her fingers, in her heart. How could this happen? Tell me again. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Pictures of You (Part 2) Date: 06 May 1998 19:55:47 -0700 ~ Remembering you fallen into my arms ~ ~ Crying for the death of your heart ~ That night was fun, he admitted to himself, remembering her timid body responding to his. He could watch her now. She was darker. That light, that she had held in her eyes, the light that had attracted his soul to her's. Gone, she was gone, he had taken with him her innocence, purity, light, and heart. ~ You were stone white ~ Her face was so priceless, he loved the fear that radiated her as she saw him appear behind her, He could actually see the hope in her eyes, when he walked near, that hope, that small voice in the back of head saying he might be her angel. Watch it shatter into loathing, as she realized who it was. What it was. See that wonderful look on anguish as he smiled his smile, and talked his talk. ~ So delicate ~ ~ Lost in the cold ~ ~ You were always so lost in the dark ~ Wondering if her Angel was still alive, still floating around somewhere, watching over her, waiting for his chance to come back to her, to hold her in his arms and love her. He wore the ring still.. Her angel did. She had seen it on him. On the demon that wore his flawless face. Whatever significance it held for that monster that had ripped her heart in pieces mattered not to her. But she knew, without a doubt that her angel, the one always watching over her, even if gone from sight, wore the ring. Heart facing her. Where her heart should be... ~ Remembering you ~ ~ How you used to be slow ~ Oh, but it was magnificent, that look on her face. He had almost wanted to laugh, to tell her the truth as she looked at him. So mean, how could he had said those words? It brought such a smile to his face, remembering that look, the day after... His poor heart, poor lover. ~ Drowned ~ She had given him everything. And he had used every last bit of it against her. ~ You were angels ~ ~ So much more than everything ~ You were Angels. You were. But it's not you. It's not. How much longer can I grasp onto the past? Onto what used to be? He wears your face, your smile, your memories, but how many more innocent lives must die? How many more while she gathers up her courage, her strength to say goodbye and take away every last hope, every last ember... ~ Oh hold for the last time then slip away quietly ~ ~ Open my eyes but I never see anything ~ Can't say goodbye. It hasn't been long enough, because she knows. Without a doubt that your out there. Are you? Looking down from up above, what would you want? Not this. Not me stalling, while the monster with your face destroys lifes, families, hearts. Not what you want. How can anyone be so selfish? How can I do this? In the memory of you? I can't. I'm still trying, trying to be strong enough to kill you. ~ If only I had thought of the right words ~ ~ I could have hold on to your heart ~ Just love. Just love is all... So, if all she wanted was love. And all he wanted was love. How come they can't agree. It struck him oddly. Took mere minutes to understand. She didn't want his kind of love. He didn't want hers. Funny he had called it love. ~ If only I'd thought of the right words ~ ~ I wouldn't be breaking apart ~ ~ All my pictures of you ~ This slayer was stronger than he was. He had thought, he could take her. He knew all her moves. But she always struck him off balance. That one second he would take, to feel her fear, watch her hair, just smile and adore. Knowing by now that one second was all it took to kill another.. Why did it always happen. ~ Looking so long at these pictures of you ~ He couldn't have her. He'd be able to kill her. There was no doubt about that. If he could get past his obsession he could strike her down. If he could concentrate... So what's the problem again? ~ But I never hold on to your heart ~ ~ Looking so long for the words to be true ~ She couldn't do this to herself. She could wait, and wish, and pray, and hope. He was gone. Her tears wouldn't bring him back. Innocent people are dying, her thoughts would scream. He's torturing innocent people because your weak! Because you became emotionally attached to another! He was a monster before. He's a monster again... His true nature... ~ But always just breaking apart my pictures of you ~ She was his lover. And now his enemy. It reminds him of a soap opera. Stay tuned, maybe next week she'll fall, or he'll die, perhaps she'll be brought over. He wants her. All of her. There's more conflict still.... ~ There was nothing in the world ~ ~ That I ever wanted more ~ ~ Than to feel you deep in my heart ~ But no matter what. It falls. Love cannot be destroyed. Lust cannot be conquered. Death cannot be avoided. And she still longs for him. Wondering where the soul has gone. Wondering where the love is now that it's not with him. Tears are gone. Everything's dry. The feeling is dead, the regrets are gone. And now maybe she'll go one. She has to. She's the slayer. She has to fight the demons, kill monsters, and slay vampires. All of them. There's no choice. No one to be trusted No one to be loved There's no one left to share passion with. She had had her love, and he had had his. She had given him one moment of true happiness... ~ There was nothing in the world ~ ~ That I ever wanted more ~ And he knows she'll go on. He knows that he should act quickly because she'll grow stronger. He wants her, but not dead. He wants her to pay for her crimes. Sin of love. True happiness, and now he's free. True happiness and now she's confined within small walls of sorrow They can't go on this way, as long as the others alive it will linger, the pain they both feel. But if neither can stop loving the other, how can they move on? Go on? In the end both are dead, either way everyone loses. ~ Than to never feel the breaking apart ~ ~ All my pictures of you ~ Finish! -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 17) Date: 06 May 1998 20:27:04 -0700 Guess what disk Kelley Fixed!?!?! Now everyone can stop yelling at me :) I've been working on the story, and I'll send all the parts I have updated as of now. Then I'm gonna work on Charlotte Sometimes.. Are we all happy? :) For disclaimers see part 1 A Stroke of Luck (part 17) ~ Here comes the cold again ~ ~I feel it closing in ~ The instant she saw Spike, her head began to sing. It was as though he was her missing link, her other half. His mere presence calmed her nerves, enabling her mind to relax, and Willow to think more clearly. He called to her. Her body obeyed his request, it wasn't that she was thinking clearly. Or that she couldn't see straight. Her whole being told her to do as he said. A piece of mortal Willow popped into her head, telling her to run! But she disagreed, and she found herself edging nearer to Spike. A treat... The words met her ears. She saw Buffy... A one time friend. One of her best friends! Enemy, her head told her. She was Spikes' enemy, she was Willow's enemy... Willow stopped right in front of Buffy. And looked up to Spike. "Willow, no. Don't do this..." Buffy began, When Spike grabbed her head, and jerked her neck to the side, pointedly for Willow "Willow. I don't want to hurt you" Buffy said again, not wanting to injure one of her best friends, as she squirmed beneath Spikes iron grip. Willow listened to Buffy's heart beat, the sound was so astonishing, licking her lips Willow jerked her head back, about to drink when, the slayer kicked out with one of her legs, landing it on Willow's flat stomach and sending the fledgling scattering backwards. Spike let go of Buffy, laughing. "Poor, slayer" Buffy's face was flushed with anger, she didn't even noticed Xander and Angel walking into the warehouse ~~~~~~ Willow felt herself being kicked back and thrown into a couple of large crates. To her amazement she felt no pain. Though her senses where set back, everything went dizzy as she lay there in the crates trying to get back her sense of balance back. ~~~~~~ "I'm gonna kill you" Buffy hissed between clenched teeth. Spike smiled "really? And your going to kill your friend too?" A look of sadness was shown in Buffy's eyes.. Could she kill Willow? She would have to.. But could she? Anger flooded her system yet again, and she punched Spike in the face as hard as she could. Spike lost his balance a bit. Surrounded by anger, Buffy gave him a hard kick in the chest, which landed him on top of a large group of crates next to the vampire Willow Buffy's eyes widened as Spike helped his new friend stand. "Buffy?" Angel called out from a top the warehouse. "Hello 'Angelus' it's been forever" came the sarcastic reply from Spike. As he gently guided Willow to her feet. Angel was about to attack Spike when he saw the girl he was with.. A very demonic looking Willow. He's gone to far. Angel thought. He can't get away with this. Willow? Innocent little Willow? Angel growled. "Well?" Spike asked the slayer, standing behind Willow, holding her by the waist. Willow growled and leaned back, looking for his neck... Buffy gulped, not sure what to do... Spike helped her make the decision for her and tossed the girl straight at the slayer. She caught the red head with ease. Looking down into the disoriented eyes of Willow as she shook her head, trying to still the wave of dizziness that passed through her. She was fairly successful. There was a beat. Willow's could feel her teeth as they came to sharp points. It took her a bit by surprise, but the change came easy. She was so hungry, so incredibly starved. Another beat, She would go mad soon if her body was denied nourishment she thought. It was a heart beet. She listened and looked down at Buffy with hungry eyes. She got one growl out before she found herself pinned on the floor. Willow looked upwards, at the face of her attacker. It was Xander. He was laying on top of her, "C'mon Will. Snap outta it." Xander panted, right before she flipped them both over, so that her red hair dangled on his brow. "Xander!" Buffy Yelled. Clutching the staked that Buffy had given him. He wasn't about to stake his best friend. But he wasn't about to die either. Buffy went to help, but was soon stopped by Spike, more effectively she was stopped by a strike at her side. Willow lend down to bite him. "Will. I know you don't wanna do this." He said trying to kick her off of him, but with her vampiric state, and her new found strength he was doing a bad job of prying his best friend off him. "Don't you come here to ruin my fun" Spike yelled, slapping her again. Buffy put her hand up to the small cut he had given her. There was blood... She couldn't ever remember bleeding in a fight... She got back her balance quickly enough to be knocked back down. She looked up, holding the side of her head. Spike was cradling a very heavy looking object "Night" He smiled. Buffy's eyes widened, and she shot to the side, right as Spike hurled a chair at her head. She barely avoided it's impact Willow jerked her head to the right. Buffy? No, the Slayer. She was laying next to Xander, next to her. She shook off the feeling, and jerked her head back, drinking from Xander. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (part 18) Date: 06 May 1998 20:27:35 -0700 For Disclaimers see part 1 A Stroke of Luck (part 18) "Xander!" Buffy screamed out loud... The blood flooded into Willow's mouth and she could feel her senses coming back to her, her sense of balance, and light, and life. And realization. She could see Xander laying beneath her, though she was sure her eyes were closed, she saw her childhood playmate dying beneath her. A sick sort of joy came through her as she drank from Xander. Remembering all the nights and times she just sat and thought of him, and how he would blow her off for every other girl. He would go for any girl, Willow figured, but her. Her thoughts where brutally interrupted as she was ripped right away from a shocked Xander. She lay there, suspended in air, as her friends' blood sang in her veins giving her the strength she needed to think, and live. She felt herself pulled close to a wall... No, not a wall, she thought as she felt more than heard Angels words in her head. 'Be still' he told her. There was something about him. His strength, and she could feel his age... A flood of adrenaline coursed through her body as she was suddenly scared. Her eyes immediately searched out for Spike. He wasn't hard to find. He was with the slayer. Fighting, hitting, yelling. ~~~~~~ Spike kick her stomach pushing her away from him. "So, Slayer." Spike began, "How does it feel?" He was mocking her. She knew but, he had to ask. He had to know that she was in torment, he wanted to hear her say it. They circled each other. "I didn't mean to kill her Spike!" Buffy gasped out, watching the red head out of the corner of her eye, worrying that she had just lost her two best friends. It was to hard to focus on Spike. It was to important that she win, that she find Willow's soul, that she helped Xander. That she kept them both with her. That she woke up soon from this nightmare as soon as possible! "Not quiet the answer I was looking for" He hissed, not in the mood to hear excuses from this murder. "I'm sorry" She said genuinely. Spike stopped, and raised an eyebrow. He put himself out of his defensive position. She didn't trust him. He turned his head towards Willow. Her eyes immediately began to sparkle at this site of him coming towards her. Easily ripping the girl away from her would-be guardian, he held her hand gently. "Your sorry?" He asked again. Wanting to know she spoke the truth. Make sure that she genuinely felt sorrow for the loss of his only love. Buffy nodded, unable to think of the right words... ~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ A stroke of luck or a gift from God? ~ ~ The hand of fate or devil's claws? ~ The flood of fearfulness was replace by a flow of ecstasy, she felt safe again. She shook her head, suddenly wondering what she was doing. Had she killed her best friend, the man that could have easily been her brother? A wave of pleasure passed through her body as she remembered his weak struggles as her mortal friend tried to escape. Buffy would kill her. The slayer would kill her now that she was a 'monster'. One look around the room. As though she were on a magical drug, everything was so enhanced. The air was fresher, the wind was softer, the light touches of Spike's hand at her waist was nothing less than enchanting, mysterious... He talks though. And she was missing it. She had to focus... -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Stroke of Luck (Part 19) Date: 06 May 1998 20:28:04 -0700 For disclaimers see part 1 A Stroke of Luck (Part 19) Spike grabbed Willow tighter now, and pushed her intimately close to him, causing a sudden gasp of shock from Willow and a warning hiss of anger from Angel. Buffy had to force herself to remain in place. She couldn't risk the chance that Spike might kill Willow, vampire or not, she was still one of Buffy's best friends...she hoped, and could be cured.. she hoped. Spikes grabbed the side of willows head, and looked into her eyes. She seamed so happy. There was a bit of fear. But not hardly as much as there had been when she was mortal. He aloud his hand to weave into her hair, and then violently jerked her hair back. Willow shrieked in a flash of terror. And Buffy's scared eyes went to Angels. Spikes mouth me hers, and he roughly kissed her. Buffy didn't miss the arch in Willows back as he kissed her, and she was shell-shocked suddenly. Angel furiously stalked towards Spike about to attack, when Spike turned around fast and threw the red head at Angel, he was caught off guard for minute, as he tried to steady himself and the vampire Willow. A minute was all Spike needed as he grabbed a piece of the chair he had previously flung at Buffy, and looked at the pointed end. "Your sorry?" Spike yelled at Buffy, as her eyes widened and her body went into attack mode. "How sorry?" He hissed menacingly. And he turned around to Angelus again, and embedded the stake through Willows heart in one hard thrust. A Look of utter hurt and denial went on Willow's face as her bottom lip trembled. She shook her head, and fell to her knees. She didn't even reach the ground when she shattered into dust though. And Buffy ran to the place where her one time friend had just presided. It was Buffy's turn to shake her head in denial. Utterly distraught she looked past the ashes to Xander. Angelus on the other hand, allowed his anger to go to Spike, as he rushed towards him. "Oh, Angelus. Let's not fight here." Spike began sarcastically "Not after all the trepidation of the night" He paused as Angel stood right in front of him "Oh, that right. You always loved to fight after a good thrill, and hunt. Hmm?" Spike laughed as Angelus remembered the night he had made Drusilla a vampire. How he had killed off all of her family, spared none, and tortured Dru's poor body, poor mind. He snapped out of his reverie easily enough. And lunged at Spike. Spike ducked as Angels hand flew over his head. He grabbed it and tossed the larger man a couple feet towards Buffy. "He's dead" She whispered. To Angel. She had to get out. She had to kill Spike. She was feeling listless, and claustrophobic. She felt trapped in the air that surrounded her. "Your not getting away with this!" she turned yelling at Spike. He laughed bitterly at her reply. "You've got to be kidding me! You who only day's before were so confident. So head strong.. So willing to kill any vampire who got in your path" "Her death was an accident" she screamed so loud, angel shuddered the sounds cooing off the cement walls of the factory "Well." Spike said moving closer to a really ticked off slayer "His death" He shook his head towards Xander "Was an accident too" -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Two Ships" (1/3) Date: 08 May 1998 15:48:48 EDT NOTES: Takes place before "Surprise" and "Innocence", which is directly before the ep where Oz turns into a werewolf. If the drummer for the Dingoes already has a name, somebody please let me know? I haven't been able to find it. :( FEEDBACK: Yes please! To me here at KylenRevik@aol.com, please! Constructive criticism and praise are always welcomed. :) DISTRIBUTION: Not without my express permission, please, of either the story or "Oz's" lyrics. Thank you. ~ "Two Ships" By Rachel Brody //There's a woman in the branches That are blowing in the wind And I'd tell her that I love her, But she'd never let me in While she's living in her own world, I'll be watching her from mine I'll be looking through the windows To the Willow in my mind.//* Oz sighed, then looked up. "This, this is pathetic," he sighed. Scott looked over. "What is?" "This," Oz said, gesturing to the piece of paper he'd been scribbling lyrics on. "This is _pathetic_." Scott's eyes took in the writing on the page, then he shrugged. "Got it bad, huh?" "You could say," Oz sighed. "Sucks." Scott shook his head. "Got potential, though. The song." "You think?" "Yeah." The drummer hummed a few bars. "Like that, maybe." "Nah," Oz said. "More like this." He hummed a few bars, but the notes were a little higher and just a touch slower-paced than his friend's had been. Scott raised an eyebrow. "Not the kind of thing we usually do," he said. "Yeah," Oz replied. "I know." "So, who is she?" "Junior. At Sunnydale. You don't know her." Scott accepted that as an explanation, nodding as he seated himself at his trap set. "Play," he instructed with a nod toward Oz's guitar. Oz raised an eyebrow, but picked up his instrument and began to strum the strings. Scott listened for a few seconds, then grinned. "Sing along, idiot," he ordered affectionately. Oz sighed. "But I--" "_Sing_, man! How'm I supposed to work out an accompaniment if I can't hear the words that go with the music?" Oz opened his mouth to object, then nodded instead. "Okay," he said, only partially reluctant. He picked up his guitar and started playing, tapping his feet at the same time, so Scott would have some idea of the timing Oz had in mind. Easy 4/4 beat, quick. Lead in of a few bars, then as soon as he was reasonably sure that Scott had the beat down, Oz started singing-- quietly. He didn't have the most confidence in his abilities as a vocalist, the guitar was more his speed. "There's a woman in the branches that are blowing in the wind/and I'd like to say I love her but she'd never let me in/while she's living in her own world, I'll be watching her from mine/I'll be looking through the window to the Willow in my mind." Not having any more words worked out, Oz strummed a few more bars, then let his fingers continue at a softer volume as he looked at Scott, who was also playing his drums idly now that the words had ended. "S'all I got," Oz explained. Scott nodded. "Okay," he said. "So, you need help with the rest, or you think it'll come on its own?" "Help would be most greatly appreciated," Oz said with a slight smile. "Kay," Scott agreed. "I take it she's pretty?" "Yeah, in a quiet kinda way." "And younger?" "By a year." "Cool." Scott thought for a moment. "So why haven't you asked her out?" Oz shrugged. "Don't think I'm her type," he said. "She's sorta bookish." "You're in a band, doesn't that count for anything?" "She's quiet." "Oh." The two bandmates were silent for a few minutes, the only sound being the gentle playing of each of their respective instruments. Then, Scott gave Oz a quick nod. "How 'bout this?" he asked, then he picked up the speed of his drumming, and Oz matched it with his guitar. "You're quiet and you're bookish, but you're also really sweet/and even though we never talk, I bet you don't have smelly fee--" "_Scott_!" Oz yelped, stopping his playing, "I want her to _talk_ to me after she hears this, you know!" "Sure, man," Scott said as he stood, the grin still on his face. "You know...you worry way too much." "Whatever," Oz replied with a grin. "S'true," Scott said. "Just ask her out." Oz shrugged. "Whatever, man." He shook his head. "Thing is, you can't just _ask_. Gotta scope, first. See if there might be an interest." "Scoping." Scott thought a moment, then nodded. "This is true," he said. Oz nodded. "Exactly." "So ask her if she's seen that movie." "What movie?" "That monster one you wanted to see," Scott said. "And when she says no, ask her out." Oz frowned. "That's not a date movie," he said. "That's a screaming movie. She's _quiet_, man, what if it freaked her out or something? Those things can get pretty scary." Scott grinned. "Exactly," he said. "So if she says yes, you know it's because she wants to go _with you_." Oz raised an eyebrow, then grinned. "Whoa, man, you are _devious_." Scott grinned. "Got that straight." He stood, nodding toward the door of the garage. "Gotta book, Ozzie, see you at the gig tonight." "Gig?" "At the Bronze." Scott shook his head. "Don't forget!" "Won't," Oz said. "When did we get a gig at the Bronze for tonight?" "Yesterday. Somebody canceled so they called us." Oz nodded. "I see." "Good. Later, then," Scott called on his way out the door. Oz grinned and waved back halfheartedly, then returned his full attention to his guitar and the words running through his mind. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Two Ships" (3/3) Date: 08 May 1998 15:49:11 EDT See part one for notes, etc. ~ Oz frowned as the lights went down and the band took their bows, finishing off the final set of the night. He waved to the other guys, then nodded for Scott to come over. He said nothing as they picked up the amps, cords, and mikes, moving everything to where they would load it into the van to bring back to Oz's garage. "She here tonight?" "Yeah," Oz sighed. "So why so bummed?" Oz shrugged. "She didn't seem to like the song." Scott shook his head. "Maybe she didn't realize it was for her?" Oz gave his friend a raised eyebrow. "I was staring at her all night." "Oh. Maybe you were slightly obvious?" "Maybe she doesn't like our music." "Then maybe she has bad taste and you're better off?" "Or not." Scott sighed, putting a hand on his friends' shoulder. "Hey," he said, "don't think like that, man. You're a cool guy. It'll work out." Oz smiled weakly. "Sure," he said. Then he shook his head. "So, what'd you think of the song?" "For a new one? Decent." "Maybe that was it, then," Oz said, "maybe she just wasn't wowed by my less-than-amazing song writing abilities." "Cept we didn't say you'd written it." "So maybe--" "Maybe she was thinking of something _else_," Scott interrupted, cutting Oz off. When the guitarist moved to open his mouth, the drummer made a silencing gesture. "No. Not a bit. Shush. No more of that." Oz shot him a look, but kept his mouth shut. "Fine," he said. "So what do I do now?" "You gonna see her in school tomorrow?" "Yeah..." "So ask her out." "I can't." "Why not?" "Because the scoping didn't go well." "You and your scoping!" Scott exclaimed. "Man, you gotta take a _chance_ with these things! Throw caution to the wind and _act_ already!" He grinned. "Release the beast within, my friend." Oz shook his head. "Nah. Quiet girls aren't into that whole beast thing." Scott shrugged. "F'you say so," he said. Then he smiled devilishly. "I always went for the slightly more rambunctious type." "I bet you did." "That everything?" Surprised by the sudden change of topic, Oz looked around, then nodded. Everything was stacked up in the back of the van, and the Bronze itself was slowly emptying out. Now that the live entertainment was going, nobody seemed to see any point in sticking around any longer. Talk about an ego-boosting experience, he thought to himself. "Looks like," he said. "See you tomorrow?" "Yeah, okay." Oz waved, then turned and walked up to the front of the van and climbed into the driver's seat, working the gas pedal and driving away. Scott shook his head, watching his friend leave, then turned back to the stage entrance to the club. He wondered... "Excuse me," came a voice from behind him. He turned-- and did a double take. Attending private school, he didn't know as many of the Sunnydale kids as Oz did, but he knew what he liked, and he liked this one a _lot_. "Yeah?" he asked. "I was just wondering," the blonde said. "You're the drummer for the Dingoes, right?" He grinned. "Yeah," he said. "You want an autograph?" She shook her head. "No," she said. "Just...a question." "Okay, yeah?" Weird, but no problem. "My friend has a thing for the lead guitarist," she began. Scott felt his hopes deflating. One of these "my friend" stories, which meant this chick was taken with the Ozmeister, which meant not only did Scott _not_ have a chance, he also was going to have to break her pretty little heart. "Sorry, he's taken," he murmured, moving to walk back into the club. The blonde frowned. "He is?" she asked. "Yeah," Scott said, turning back to her. "Gone on some girl he knows at some school." For some reason, this news seemed to brighten the blonde's mood. "Quiet, bookish girl," he said. Then he decided to close his mouth, 'cause he didn't know how many quiet, bookish girls there were at Sunnydale high. "Great," the blonde said, but there was no trace of sarcasm in her voice. Scott watched, somewhat surprised that she had taken the news so well. Could it be, gorgeous and a brain, too? That would be the day. He grinned, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. He was gonna have to have a talk with Ozzie about these women. Not now, he supposed, but soon enough. He smiled slightly. That'd be fun. "Hey, bro, you've got a leggy blonde who wants you. She the right one?" He grinned inwardly as his voice bounced off the alley walls. Yeah, he'd enjoy telling Oz about this in the morning. Humming the bars of the song Oz had put together earlier that afternoon, Scott made his way off down the alley toward where his ride was waiting at the end of the street. THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody *Lyrics by Rachel Brody. ~ Comments to me at KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Two Ships" (2/3) Date: 08 May 1998 15:49:04 EDT See part one for notes , etc. ~ "Was there ever any reason, at any day or time/as to why I should forget you, or take you from my mind?/Is it so hard to believe that maybe if we tried/we could make each other happy, until the day we died?" "Ooooh, morbidity," Cordelia whispered with a slight grin across the table." Buffy rolled her eyes, as did Willow, but neither said anything. Cordelia shrugged, then glanced at Buffy. "So, where's your shadow, my boyfriend?" she asked. Buffy looked at her somewhat quizzically. "Xander?" "Yeah." Buffy smiled slightly. "Missing him?" "Hardly," Cordelia snapped. "Just wondering what exactly was going on and if he was planning on showing up tonight." "Xander said he had, had to do some school stuff," Willow said. "He's gonna try some homework." The other two girls looked at Willow in surprise. "Xander, homework?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded. "Mrs. Fletcher threatened to give him in- building if he didn't turn in the analysis of _Dandelion Wine_," she said. "Hm," Buffy said. "Cool." "Hey," Cordelia said suddenly, "why's that guy looking over here?" "What guy?" "The guitarist," Cordelia said. "Oz, I think, is his name. Something like that." She looked from one to the other of them. "I dated whatsisname for a while, the other one, the singer. Think he talked about me to the other guys?" Buffy shook her head, taking a sip of her drink. Only Cordelia would look upon the phenomenon of guys talking about their conquests as something that could be enjoyed. "I somehow very much doubt it," she said, shooting a sideways glance at Willow, who was trying desperately-- and obviously-- not to stare at the senior up on stage. "Why's that?" Cordelia asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder a little. "Because," Buffy said, "he's staring at Willow." Cordelia jerked in surprise to look at Willow. "Yeah _right_," she said. She smiled slightly. "I mean, no offense, Will, but well, guys in bands tend to go more for _my_ type than the bookworm/computer geek crowd." "Oz is good with computers," Willow said. "Or at least, he tests well." Cordelia's eyes narrowed. "And how, exactly, would you know _that_?" she asked. "He told me," Willow said. "Eh-heh. As in, you two have talked?" "Yup." Cordelia's expression experienced a sudden and _very_ violent shift. "I _see_. In that case, you can have him." She stood, stalking off and muttering something about 'contaminated goods'. Buffy sighed and looked back at Willow, ready to do damage control on Will's fragile-but-steadily-becoming-more-hardy ego. She was surprised to see that the other girl didn't look phased. "Hey Will," she asked, "everything okay?" Willow nodded. "Yeah," she said. She grinned slightly, turning her gaze away from Oz and back to Buffy. "He's not watching Cordelia." "Good," Buffy said. She shook her head. "Cordie could be nice, if she tried." "If she didn't explode first," Willow sniffed. "She might." "Her head would get all, all big and bulgy, I bet," Willow said, her smile widening. "And brains would spatter all over the place," Buffy added. Willow giggled. "If there were any to spatter at all." Buffy chuckled at that, though she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of making fun of Cordie behind her back. Ah well, she supposed after a huff Cordelia had just stalked away in, she had to expect some degree of nastiness on the other two girls' parts. "And there's a woman in the branches/That are blowing in the wind/And I'd tell her that I love her, But she'd never let me in/While she's living in her own world, I'll be watching her from mine/I'll be looking through the windows/To the Willow in my mind." Buffy glanced up, looking at Willow as the lead singer stepped back and let Oz sing the verse, and she realized that Willow was grinning dazedly at the drummer. "Oh boy," Buffy said with a slight grin, realizing her friend had no idea of what the lyrics were, she was so caught up in watching the one singing them. "You've got it bad." "He's so..." Willow started, then trailed off. "He's really nice," she finished. "Yeah, you and Oz've been hanging around together a little, haven't you." Willow shrugged. "A little." She looked about to say something else, then nodded toward something behind them. "And Xander didn't get the homework done." Buffy glanced over her shoulder to see Xander walking in, making a beeline for Cordelia. "Great," she said. "So he's gonna get IBS now..." She shook her head. "You know what my mom would _do_ if I did that?" "I think his parents are sort of used to it," Willow sighed. "He hasn't done homework since, um, like fifth grade." Buffy smiled weakly. "Whereas in my case, it's only since I've started slaying that there have been problems with the whole homework-report-_thing_." "Yeah," Willow replied. Noticing something in her friend's expression, Buffy reached forward and tapped Willow gently on the arm. "Will?" she asked. "Everything okay?" "Yeah," Willow replied. "I just..." She sighed. "Xander and _Cordelia_. Jeez." "Could be worse," Buffy said. Willow shook her head. "No it couldn't." She sighed. "I mean...do you know how long he and I've hated her?" "I've got some idea," Buffy sighed. "But I mean, she's not _all_ bad, is she?" A slight, weary smile when she met the expression on Willow's face. "Yoy. Okay. Maybe, okay, she's pretty bad. But she does have a car and a license and sometimes it's nice to have somebody around who you don't need to have a deep conversation with, isn't it?" "I guess," Willow sighed. Buffy shook her head, then reached across the table and patter Willow on the hand. "It's okay," she said. "Really." "No it's not," Willow said. "But thanks." ~ Comments to me at KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Regarding "Reunion" Date: 08 May 1998 16:16:11 -0400 Hi, fellow ficers! Okay, this may sound like a strange request, but I'm in the middle of a HUGE writing block, and I thought this might help. I'm busy attempting to write interlude # 5 for my story "Reunion," which I was sending to the list a long while ago, but I'm having major problems doing it. I've lost that spark for the Buffy/Angel dynamic. Interlude 5 takes place after he's got his soul back, and I can't figure out how they should act towards one another, and factors to consider regarding their reactions to one another. If you know what I'm talking about, please send me *anything* that you feel I should consider. You have my unending gratitude! If you have absolutely no clue what I mean by this, and you've read reunion, I can remind you what's going on and clarify what I mean so you can help. Thanks! I don't mean to be a pain, but there's no way I'm ever going to continue this story if I don't get past this block! -Ingrid _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Regarding "Reunion" Date: 08 May 1998 16:43:16 EDT In a message dated 98-05-08 16:20:21 EDT, ingrid29@juno.com writes: >Okay, this may sound like a strange request, but I'm having major problems doing it. Nope, that's a feeling I know all too well... >I've lost that spark for the Buffy/Angel dynamic. he's got his soul back Oyyyyy. I know all too well. ::sighs, hugs:: I don't know .Good-Angel has always seemed sort of blah-ish to me, in my own writing at least. And in the transcripts I've been reading, too. He seems like he just was sort of the loving boyfriend type, and personally I have probs writing that because it seems _so_ simpery. He really _did_ have the whole tortured-Anne-Rice sort of thing going, didn't he. God, what a brooder. ::rolls her eyes:: >If you know what I'm talking about, please send me *anything* that you >feel I should consider. I think it all depends on your perceptions of the character when he had his soul. Unfortunately, I don't really know how to help...but I'd like input on this sort of thing, as well, 'cause I had to restructure part of "Two Ships" (which I just posted) because I realized halfway through a Buffy/Angel exchange that I had no idea of how to write him ::sigh:: I think writing for him if/when he gets his soul back might be a megaproblem for quite a few writers out there. Personally, I know I can write the mushy scenes between them, but it seems like he sort of...doted and hovered a lot, when he was good, and I can't say I'm good at integrating that sort of thing into non- romantic fics. So, I'd like to know any insights anybody has, as well. :) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (6/?) Date: 08 May 1998 16:46:47 EDT Title: Love's Revival (6/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address Sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been busy! I'll have parts 7 - 13 out soon! Love's Revival Part 6 "You shouldn't worry about Angel, pet. You ate enough for the both of you tonight," Spike chuckled as he entered the warehouse with Dru wrapped in his embrace. Several vampires followed them, and scattered throughout the building. "Let's go to bed. Daylight is coming soon," Drusilla smiled as she looked deep into her lover's eyes. "Yes, lets," he said as he lifted her into his arms. She caressed his face and kissed him softly. Drusilla's smile faded away and she dropped bonelessly into Spike's arms. "Dru!" "She's coming. She's coming back," Dru's voice was faint as her eyes rolled back into her head. "Who? Dru, who's coming back?" With his hands full, Spike gently shook her. "Savarah," she moaned. "Great. Just what we need," Spike said as he carried Dru upstairs. _________ Angel continued to sit motionlessly by the window. The drapes were closed, but he stared at them as if he were looking right through them. "Angel," came a sly voice from the doorway. He turned quickly and saw Savarah's beautiful figure standing before him. Quickly, he rose and forced a demonic grin. "Didn't I kill you?" "Yes, I'm afraid you did," Savarah said as she moved closer to him. "So why are you still here?" He asked, making every attempt he could to hide his shock with sarcasm. "I have some unfinished business. Just thought I'd drop by." "How nice," he said as he plopping back down into his chair. "I think you know your way out." "Oh, don't tell me you're one to hold a grudge? It was just a little bet, and besides, you didn't loose anything." She walked over to the chair and stood behind him. "Look, if you want Buffy, take her. But leave me out of it!" he yelled, avoiding eye contact with her. Savarah ran her hand down his chest. Despite himself, he shivered at her touch. "Sorry, can't. You see, you're my little secret weapon," she whispered in his ear. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Angel snarled, yanking her hand away and turning to look in her eyes. "You'll find out soon enough." Laughing slightly, she waltzed out of the room. "Bitch," Angel muttered as she left. "I heard that," Savarah yelled from the main room. "You were supposed to!" Angel cried, his eyes narrowing to little slits. He took a deep breath and slammed his hands down on the arms of the chair. End Part 6 The more feedback I get, the more writting I do! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 6) Date: 08 May 1998 15:53:24 -0700 Here's quick shorty I had to get done before I do anything. Have fun. Charlotte Sometimes (Part 6) "Ouch!" Drusilla jumped turning around as the seamstress apologized fast enough to stab her with another needle "Oh, ow! Are we almost done?" Drusilla turned to her mother. She'd lost at least a pint of blood over this stupid dress... for a stupid dance she had no desire to go to. Dru's mother smiled at her child, tapping the top of her nose, in an effort to get her daughter to stand up straight. It worked as Dru stood there, cringing as the needles embedded themselves in her skin. She was all but shocked as she watched her mother give an absurd amount of money to the semester for poking holes in her body. So, True. It was one of the most elegant gowns she'd ever seen. Let alone worn. But how worthy could it all be. They walked out into the cold. The sun was just setting and she cursed inside, pouting that she had spent the whole days at the semesters. ~ He watched baffled as Drusilla walked out of the shop. Angelus shook his head. What was he doing? Stalking a 17 year old girl? He needed to get a life. Perhaps and Unlife in this case. He walked closer to the beauty that held his fascination, making no note to stay out of her range of view. He wanted to run to her, to kiss her, hold her, to hurt her, make her his. He breathed in, looking at her dress as she got into the carriage, beautiful, running behind her, traveling in the grains of the road, her hair swinging around her waist no longer up upon her head... He had to meet with her. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 7) Date: 08 May 1998 15:54:26 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 7) Lydia continued to pout for all her worth as Drusillas' few servants filed around her, curling her hair with a hot iron and making up her face with thick powders. "It's not fair! I want to go to the ball, and wear a long flowing dress, and dance with all the gentlemen. Why does Dru get to go? She always has the most fun" Drusilla, carefully avoiding the hot iron, bent down to Lydia whom was sitting on the floor inches away from tears. "Don't pout Lydia. You wouldn't want to go if you knew the truth," She said, cautiously, eyeing Lydia in a secretive manner. Lydia perked up and stood up on her knees. "What truth?" she whispered to Dru. The elder sister looked away. "I don't know," she said looking away. "I shouldn't tell you" "Please!" Lydia begged, suddenly forgetful of the fit she'd been having moments before. "Well, okay. But you mustn't tell anyone!" "I swear Dru! I won't tell a soul" The maids all looked at each other with a smile as they continued to primp Dru up for the dance. "Well" Drusilla began sitting up straight again. "For one, the rooms are filled with nothing but old ladies gossiping about this and that-" "Like what?" Lydia interrupted.=20 "Well, like which maiden is dancing with the Caytons son. That will come up, often as I assume" She said, changing her voice to that of a stuck up manner "What all the girls are wearing, who showed up. Who-"=20 "Okay, okay." Lydia interrupted again, wanting to know more details "what else?" "Well" Drusilla looked around for a minute trying to think of the last ball she'd been to "It's hot and stuffy. You can't even stand still without fainting. All the people gather in selective rooms and it's murder. Many of the women bring fans, but that helps none. By the end of the day your corset has left large round bruises and your feet sting for a week." Lydia cringed. There was long pause before Lydia looked back up at Dru again. "When will you be back?" She asked hopeful "Long after you're asleep I should think" Lydia was about to go into another tantrum when the door opened.=20 "Drusilla?" Isabelle peeked into the door. "Oh! Drusilla! You look absolutely stunning!" Isabelle came running over to her daughter and turned Drusilla so she faced the mirror. "Look at you." Isabelle ran her hand over Drusilla's cheeks.=20 Look at me? Drusilla wondered staring at the stranger in the mirror. I look to fake, like I might chip if anyone touches me. She gave her mother a nice smile. Any man to fall for this is shallow, her mind yelled at her ~ Angelus let the dead man's body drop on the cold ground, wiping his chin of the remaining droplets. Ripping the mans jacket off the body Angelus put it on, smiling at the perfect fit.=20 He was perfect for the dance tonight. ~ "Now remember!" Isabelle said as her husband greeted them down the stairs with a smile. "Yes, Chin up, smile curtly and bow before dancing" Drusilla said trying to sound enthusiastic =09 Her mother immediately began to have a fit at Dru's interruption=20 "Drusilla! This is of utmost importance=85" She didn't hear the rest of her mother's words, she looked up at her father instead, he was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for the two to come down, and rolling his eyes at Isabelles' ever growing fanatics "All right mother. I promise. I'll be good." "Yes!" Isabelle smiled as the they reached the bottom of the steps=20 "This will be so much fun, you just wait!" --=20 ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html 'We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest=20 thought...' The Cure (Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: G90210 Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA: Only Once In A Lifetime (1/?) Date: 08 May 1998 18:08:25 EDT TITLE: Only Once In A Lifetime AUTHOR: mInDy (G90210@aol.com or LoveAVamp@aol.com) SUMMARY: I can't say....cause if I did, when u read it, u would know more than u should about what's gonna happen! DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING!!! well....a few cds here and there....and that's about it! The lyrics are from Michael Bolton's "Once In A Lifetime" I don't really like him....this song just seemed to fit so right..I almost cried! RATING: umm....for now PG SPOILERS: This is set after everything that has happened so far......so if there are u have been warned! Once In A Lifetime by:mInDy *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I sit on my porch waiting for him, he was late, he always was now. Ever since Buffy died, he always had to stop by her grave, he felt he owed it to her. He loved Buffy, he truly did. But you see, the problem is, I am in love with him. I can't help the way I feel about him. I remember the night Buffy died, he was there, everybody who loved her was there. That was the night she killed Spike, and the night her body gave out. When she took her last breath, I heard him scream out, begging God, to let her live. Then he broked down and cried lying next to her. That was about 5 years ago. Sure it hurts, but I have to move on. And that's what I am doing tonight. I finally found the guts to tell him that I love him. How this happened, that I fell in love with him, it was first a crush, and now this? I do not know. I don't really think there is an answer that would make enough sense for me to take. He's here now, walking up my driveway. He looks so sad and lonely. He speaks first, "Hey Will." "Hi, I called you cause I have something important to tell you, Angel." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* END PART ONE FEEDBACK PLEAZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (11/?) Date: 08 May 1998 16:48:00 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #11 Whispers of the Heart Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Description: If I say, it'll ruin the moment! Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG ******************************* The Chronicles of the White Knight #11 Whispers of the Heart By: Taygeta "Xander," Buffy said with raised eyebrows at her heavily bandaged friend, "why are you here?" "Well…I couldn't exactly let my good friend go vampire hunting by herself, now could I?" he replied with a question glance as he walk beside her. "You could…" she began as she gave him a look, "and you should. Xander, I'm a big girl now and I'm the slayer…remember? I can take care of myself, although, that's more than I can say about you, you walking infirmary!" "Why, I thought my devilishly handsome looks made up for that," he said with a light chuckle. "Devilishly handsome…right…" she replied sardonically and she began to laugh with him. "I guess I do look pretty awful," he admitted as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his tan corduroys. "Awful doesn't cut it, Xander, I've seen vampires that look more alive than you do," began Buffy, but before she could continue, he stopped her. "Hey! My male ego is taking way too many punches from the queen of the stake, so let's leave the subject of me and my looks alone for awhile." "Oh, you know I'm just joking Xander," she replied playfully as she leaned against a tree with a sigh, fiddling with a sharp stake, "but what do you want me to say? You're handsome, debonair, well-dressed," she smiled as Xander took in the comments readily, " What? Ya want me to lie?" He chuckled as he approached her, and meeting his eyes against hers, replied, "Now that was a sharp blow, next thing I know you're gonna stake me with that," he takes hold of the hand that clenched the stave. "I don't know, maybe I will," she said, "Maybe it'll put you out of your misery." "Oh, I'm feeling a lot better right now," Xander retorted, and Buffy realized that he was closer to her than he had been before. "Why is that?" she uttered a little bit nervously at his being so close to her, but she was reluctant to move away as she felt a sense of comfort in his presence. His dark eyes softened under her glance and her eyes shifted quickly at his hand that continued to grasp hers. His lips whispered softly in her ears, and his words touched her heart, "Because you're here." The momentum hung in the air much like the stars clung to the dark skies above, and the two stood still listening to an ancient zephyr that began to fade into the calm. It had heard so many whispers from lovers young and old and its arrival seemed to want their first words to each other, to have them echo those of such professions from the days of yore. "Xander?" her voice broke the silence as she recalled his words and her heart skipped a beat just thinking of them. "Hmm?" he replied as he realized she was looking into his eyes, again. She leaned closely to his ear and whispered, "I love you, too." *********************** End of Part 11! Feedback Please? _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (10/?) Date: 08 May 1998 16:47:43 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #10 Playing Games Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please send Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Description: Angel initiates his plan, Xander's feelings revealed Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Warning: PG *************************** Chronicles of the White Knight #10 Playing Games By: Taygeta His head was pounding and he could feel that a bump was forming in the back of his head, where Angelus had initially struck him. The brown rope that was being used to restrain him to a cold, steel pole protruding from the cemented ground was causing his wrists to become decidedly sore and painful. He was fading in and out of consciousness, causing the light to dwindle and the dark to come with ever blow of Angelus' fist to his flesh. Angelus stepped away in satisfaction; he was barely breaking in his new game, and he couldn't recall the last time he had so much fun. The only thing that would have bettered this was if the slayer were to be in the knight's place, but this act of revenge was just as sweet of an idea…for the duration. Next time, thought Angelus with an insidious grin, next time she will be, but for now…he struck Xander's face again…this will do. What the slayer saw in this pitiful little creature he didn't know, nor did he want to know. He rather understood her infatuation with himself; it made sense, although she was in love with his former *sickening* self. His eyes fell to his game and Angelus silently decided to prolong the dismal existence of the white knight. After all, thought Angelus as he kicked Xander's foot and he saw it move almost lifelessly, it's more fun to kill from within… *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The light swayed back and forth, as Giles' eyes tried to focus upon it as he woke up. He felt awful as he tried to stand up, which only to succeed in his falling back down again. It took him awhile, but it was beginning to recall all the events that had occurred that had caused him to be in the position that he was in now. He remembered that he had discovered a prophecy in a new text that he had just received… … "Okay, Giles, does this mean what I think it means?" Buffy asked with raised eyebrows as she glanced at the marked passage, "The day has come for the weak to rise and trouble of two becomes a thrice?" "I'm afraid, your assumptions are correct," he replied with a sigh as he cleaned his glasses with a handkerchief. "Spike's going to get repowered," she said softly as she sat down, wondering how she was going to handle three super-powerful vampires when she could barely handle two. "Not unless we stop the ceremony before it can occur," interjected Xander, but then he sighed, "How are we going to do that if it's just the three of us?" "Will just had to book it to that computer convention with her parents today," said Buffy, and her thoughts of Willow turned to Oz as she sourly continued, "And Oz is out of service, it's a full moon tonight." "And we can count Cordy out," said Xander thinking how she was lacking in vampire slaying participation ever since they broke up and Colin came into the picture. "So, I guess it's gonna be three for three." Buffy stifled a laugh and replied, "With you guys, those aren't exactly the best odds." "Thank you for the vote of confidence," said Xander sarcastically. "Enough you two, we have work to do," said Giles with a sigh, who didn't much like her joke either. "I gotta make an appearance at home, Giles, so I'm gonna have to meet you people at the warehouse," she replied, recalling her mother's complaints of not seeing her anymore. "I'd rather have all of go together," he replied hesitantly, "but if it is necessary, I suppose we can meet, um, say, in half an hour?" "Fine with me, and it is very necessary, a Mom mad is never good," she replied and before she left she continued, "I'll bring the stakes." "One day," retorted Xander to the Watcher when she left, "I wished she would mean the kind that normal people eat." "Are you proposing that w-we're not normal?" Giles asked as he gathered a few crosses from a trunk in his office. "G-man, slaying vampires goes beyond the boundaries of normality," said Xander and then he paused and said, "Good God I'm talking like Willow." "Quite," Giles said with a smile. "Close, but no cake," a voice said as the library doors loudly. They became silent as their eyes became fixed on the figure that had entered their usually quiet domain. Angelus stood in front of them with the face that made them recall the memories of his former self. He approached them loudly as his leather soles pounded on the linoleum that titled the entrance to the library, but such footsteps became softer as he reached the mainly carpeted area. "What, no hello?" he asked as he looked at them, "Giles, long time no see, how's that girl- oh, forgot." Xander saw Giles wanting approach Angelus with crossbow in hand, but he knew this Watcher was no match for the powerful vampire, and restrained him from going towards him, "No, Giles, it's not your fight." "The White Knight's right, Old Man, we aren't destined to battle, you and I," the vampire replied as he continued to walk towards them. "W-white knight?" he stuttered in confusion and his eyes glanced at Xander and then fell back to Angelus, "I don't quite understand." "I suppose your acts of protection have also been disregarded by the eyes of the Watcher, Xander," he said and then he laughed, "Not as if they were excellent displays of true heroism." "What do you want?" Xander retorted acidly, ignoring his comment. "To kill you," he said simply, as if it were the most normal answer in the world, "But first…" …Giles groaned and recalled that Angelus had knocked him out quite well. It was then that he realized that Xander was not anywhere to be seen, and he grabbed the crossbow that lay on the floor, where he had knocked it down when he, himself, had fallen. Standing up as quickly as his feet could carry him he walked out of the library muttering, "Oh my God, Xander. I do hope he's all right," but in his mind he knew that with Angelus involved he was probably anything but. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Buffy blew a strand of blonde hair from her eyes in exasperation as she glanced around impatiently for any sign of her watcher and Xander. She had been waiting there, behind a stack of crates in front of the warehouse, for the last half-hour and to her avail, they had yet to come. The ceremony within was going to start at any minute and she knew that they couldn't afford lost time. Technically, she had every right to be annoyed, but in actuality, worry overcame her aggravation. "Where are they?" she muttered, again, as she peered above the dirty, broken crates for them. Glancing at her stakes and her own personal fighting cross, she wondered if this was enough for her to battle against Druscilla, Spike, Angelus, as well as the rest of the vamp squad that was partaking in this little extravaganza. Despite the drastically uneven odds, she swung the knapsack on her shoulders, she hoped that when it came time to fight, there would be someone there to help her. The door creaked as she opened it and she carefully closed it ensuring that no one would hear her arrival and with a deep breath, prayed that she wasn't sealing her fate, as well. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Xander groaned as he pulled himself from the dark unconscious state that he had maintained for the last half-hour. His head was throbbing and he felt that a gash on his cheek was bleeding heavily. When he tried to move his wrists, the dry, brown rope tore into his abscessed skin, inflicting him with a pain that made him shudder. "I see your awake," said Angelus with a smile as he patted Xander's gashed cheek lightly in an almost playfully manner. He glanced at the blood that had stained his index finger and carefully tasted it; "A little too sugary sweet for me, but Druscilla will want you for her little blood feast later tonight." Xander was silent and just glanced at his captor icily, which caused Angelus to continue, "What, no talking from the white knight that never seems to shut up? I'm surprised. Really I am." "Go to hell," Xander muttered as another wave of pain hit him and he bitterly continued, "Already." "Been there, done that," he replied with a smile. "What do you want, Angelus?" Xander asked, his eyes glanced sharply at the dark figure, "Besides to kill me that is?" "Answers," he returned simply as he took a seat on a crate near him, "From you." There was a moment of silence in the room as eyes of evil met those of the virtuous, and then the hush was broken, "What do you want to know?" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The ceremony had yet to begin when Buffy had crept into the warehouse. She had hidden behind a piece of machinery and it gave her a good view of the main aspects of the ceremony. Druscilla was dressed in a sleek, black dress that was noticeably from the days of yore, while Spike wore more modernized clothing. A glass was filled halfway with blood, Druscilla held it to his lips, and he drank it readily. Another vampire was cloaked with a robe and bowed, holding a book above his head. Her eyes moved as she saw Druscilla open the book and place it on a table and she nodded her head, initiating the rite. Words spilled from her mouth as she read, and Buffy wasn't too sure, but she thought that they were in Latin. The black enamel on her nails seemed to darken and glow as the words continued steadily. Buffy heard herself intake breath when she saw that glowing black streaks were forming at the tips of Druscilla's fingernails. As the black streaks began to increase in size, Buffy realized that this energy was going to recharge Spike. "No time like the present," she muttered as she saw Druscilla's arms beginning to drift to where Spike sat. Buffy grabbed a stake, ran out of her hiding place, and did a few somersaults before kicking Druscilla in the stomach. This caused the vampire to scream out in pain when she hit the brick wall with a thud. The black streaks cease to come from her fingers, but the excess black streaks were shot into a stack of crates, causing a cataclysmic crash. "You've ruined everything!" Druscilla stormed as she stood up angrily, "Now Spike'll never recharge! Get her!" The slayer clenched the stake in her hand and she punched the first vampire her free hand, all the while she began to hum, "Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm (Buffy theme song)." Her humming continued as she began hitting, kicking, and staking the various vampires that approached her. It stopped abruptly when one grabbed her leg and threw her to the floor. "That does it, you made me mess up my song!" she said with a sigh as she got up and punched the vampire that had caused her to fall and then she staked him. She looked around and saw that everyone had retreated out the door, including Druscilla and a wheel chair wheeling Spike. Buffy grabbed the bag that she had dropped on the floor and she heard the door creak. Turning around quickly, she got into fighting stance, but quickly drew out of it when she saw Giles standing with his crossbow. "Thank God you stopped the ceremony, Buffy," he said as he walked towards her and handed her the crossbow. "What do I need this for, I already kicked enough vampire butt for the day," she said as she eyed the weapon in her hand, "Where were you, I waited, and where is Xander, now?" "W-we were collecting our things to leave, just when you had taken off for home, a-and well, Angelus came," Giles said with a deep breath and he saw Buffy's wide-eyed expression. "What happened?" she insisted and grew even more uneasy at the absence of her friend, "Giles, where is Xander?" He hesitated, but continued, "T-t-there wasn't anything I could do, Buffy, he rendered me unconscious, and I hate to say this, b-but he's planning to kill Xander." "K-kill him?" she said softly and then she shook her head furiously, "He is not going to kill him, where is he?" "You mean he wasn't at the ceremony?" Giles said with a gaped expression. "Not one sign of him, only Dru and Spike," Buffy replied shaking her head, and she thought aloud, "They have got to be here somewhere!" "I'd hate to split us up, again, but if we do we have a better chance of finding Xander," suggested Giles and with a deep breath he continued, "alive." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Buffy had taken the left wing of the warehouse and it wasn't until 10 minutes after she had begun her search did she begin to hear voices. They were the undoubtedly familiar voices of Angelus and Xander. She followed the sounds of their conversation and when her eyes finally saw them, she hid behind one of the thick columns that supported the warehouse. It was close enough that she could see the, listen to their conversation intently, and wait for the perfect time to attack. Angelus stood up laughing and said, "Let me see, White Knight, you are willing to tell me anything I want to know, is that right?" "That's correct," Xander said and he flinched as the rope cut deeper into his skin as he was carefully untying the knots. Angelus knelt down to look at him in the eye and said, "Why?" "Well, considering I'm going to die, anyway, might as well prolong my fate," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Besides, what do I have to hide?" The vampire was well aware of the extra presence in the room, and he needed a good line of questioning to reel the slayer in. He pursed his lips thoughtfully and then nodded his head slowly before responding, "All right, what do you *really* feel about Buffy?" The hidden slayer muffled her gasp and wondered if she really wanted to hear this. She bit her lower lip nervously and thought she had to know, even if this was the way she was going to find out. "You know how I feel about her, Angelus," Xander replied with a frown, "Why do I have to tell you?" "Look, you're the prisoner and I'm captor," he said and coldly continued, "Humor me." Xander took a deep breath and hesitatingly began, "Okay, so you want to know what how I feel about Buffy? I love her, of course, she's one of my best friends." Her heart skipped a beat when she heard that he loved her, but once the word "best friends" came to her ears, her smile faded. Just when she was about to go on her attack, Angelus began to further his interrogation. "Oh, you love her," he said, standing up and pacing in front of Xander, "but how do you love her?" "What do mean, how?" his prisoner replied uncomfortably, and it was then that he saw Buffy in the corner of his eye. "I mean, do ya love her like my pal 'best friend,' or is it something more than that?" Angelus asked raising his eyebrows, "Now you promised to answer my questions." Xander didn't know what to say, after all, she was right there, listening to everything. If it had been just him and Angelus, he would have lied through his teeth, but it wasn't just the two of them. She was hearing this…all of this, and he knew that if she couldn't save him from death, he'd want her to know his heart. He took a deep breath and glanced at Angelus and replied, "I love her, more than just my pal 'best friend' and more than everything in the world." "Everything?" the vampire replied in a surprised tone, "There are a lot of things in this world, are you sure?" Xander gave him a long look and he nodded, despite that it hurt his wrists, and stopped gritting his teeth from the pain long enough to say, "Everything. Angelus approached him and grabbed hold of his head and his human façade faded into his game face and his sharp teeth were inches away from his neck, "Even your life?" Buffy shook her head; she didn't have to know this…just yet, "Hey, ugly!" "Saved my the slayer," he said to Xander and he let go of his head to stand up and talk to his enemy, "That's surprising, Buffy, I always thought, you thought me handsome." "Well, now I know that vampires have even larger egos than I thought," she replied tartly and she shot her crossbow at him, and it barely missed his heart and entered his left shoulder blade. "You're getting sloppy," Angelus said flinching slightly as he pulled the bloody arrow out of his shoulder. "And you don't know how to tie knots very well," Xander said as he stood up, after his he had freed himself from the knots. "Three against one, Angelus, all with a grudge, can you handle it?" Buffy said as she saw Giles come up behind her. A smirk befell Angelus' face and contemplated, "We'll get our showdown, Buffy, you can just count on it." With that, the vampire walked out of the nearest exit and once he left, Xander fell back to the floor. "It was really, two against one," he said as he eyed the cuts on his wrists and gently touched the slowly healing wound on his face. Buffy and Giles helped Xander up and he replied, "Don't worry, Xander, you'll live, s-so what occurred before I was here?" Xander and Buffy glanced at each and finally he replied, "Just a little Angelus-style interrogation." "Oh, what kind of questions?" Giles continued to probe, "Y-you know, just in case an incident such as this occurs again?" "Trust me, Giles, he won't ask you the same questions he asked Xander," Buffy said as they walked out of the warehouse and noticed that dawn was quickly approaching, and then she cringed and finished, "At least I hope not." ************************ End of Part 10! Feedback, Please? _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (9/?) Date: 08 May 1998 16:47:30 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #9 This Little Game I Play Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please send Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Description: Angel's intentions and Buffy/Xander tension Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Warning: PG ******************************* The Chronicles of the White Knight #9 This Little Game I Play By: Taygeta The night was dark and cold and there was barely a star visible in the sky. Buffy and Xander were out on night patrol, and were wishing that they were home and warm. It had been two hours since Buffy had staked a vampire trying to get out of its grave and in those two hours, Xander thought he was going to die of cold. "Full moon's coming soon, Oz better lock himself in his house, again," thought Xander aloud, looking at the only visible object in the sky, the moon, as his teeth chattered a bit. Buffy, with her slayer abilities, wasn't as cold as Xander, who was shivering like a cute kitten in the storm. With a sigh, her breath was a swirl of cloud in the night, she glanced at him and asked, "Xander, if you're so cold, why did you volunteer to come and help me patrol? It's a Saturday night and you could be warm and cozy in the Bronze, and..." "And alone," finished Xander, "Buffy, I'd rather be out here with you freezing, then being stuck at the Bronze for another Saturday night, watching Cordelia groping with Colin." "Gee, Xander, you sure know how to make a girl feel special," said Buffy sarcastically with a smile. "You know what I mean, Buffy," said Xander giving her a look. "Yes, I know what you mean, Xander," said Buffy nodding her head, "But you've got to stop agonizing over Cordelia. I mean, the more pitiful you look the more she'll think you're suffering. Are you suffering, Xander?" "Suffering from what? Post Cordy Syndrome?" asked Xander raising his eyebrows. "No, I'm not suffering, Buffy. Maybe a little angry and I feel a little disappointed, but no, I'm not suffering." "Then, why all this agonizing over her, Xander?" asked Buffy, who still thought it a wonder that he had even been with her in the first place. "What is it that you find in her that's making you go totally maxi-wig over everything, lately?" "I don't know, I guess with Cordelia, I had, and I stress the word had, security," replied Xander, and Buffy frowned. "What do you mean, Xander? By security?" asked Buffy glancing at his face in confusion. "You wouldn't understand," said Xander shaking his head, and Buffy knew not to ask any further. It had been three weeks since Xander had broken up with Cordelia and in those three weeks, Xander was seemingly hanging out with her...a lot. Not that she minded, not in the least. She rather liked having him around more often it was...nice. It was just that she was so confused about everything, and about how she felt. She knew that her feelings for Xander were evolving, but to what it was evolving to was beyond her. Deep down inside, she knew that her answer could be found in something so simple and so powerful, but it was something that she knew she wouldn't be able to have, at least not from him. She needed to be kissed again. Buffy hadn't forgotten their first kiss, nor did she think she'd ever forget such a kiss. His warm lips pressed so gently against her own, sending a wave of electricity down her spine that jolted her entire self. With every racing heartbeat she felt something that succeeded passion and crushed the boundaries between two souls. Was what she felt...could it be...could she now after Angel have truly found...love? But how could she tell so much from just that one kiss and a planned kiss at that? That was why she needed to feel his lips against hers again...to feel that it wasn't just passion or the heat of the moment or just the spell, itself, and most of all, to see if she could discover her heart again. She needed all this to find what Xander had known ever since he first saw her. There was so much confusion within her mind and her heart that they both had begun to crash into something that was slowly, but surely becoming more than she thought she could handle. It wasn't as if Xander was in his normal-frame of mind, whatever that may be, either, for he was in a state of confusion himself. He was free from his bondage with Cordelia, and free to love Buffy, but was Buffy unbound, too? Or was she still clinging onto a hope and a love that was in the lost Angel...her lost Angel? Every time Xander looked at Buffy, he just wanted to kiss her again, and hold her close...and never let go. But he couldn't hold her and he couldn't kiss her. All he could do was love her. As Buffy and Xander became immersed in their thoughts, a silence had grown between them. When they came back to reality, it was rather awkward, but it wasn't awkward for long. Suddenly a vampire crawled out of its grave in a dirty black suit and grabbed Buffy's leg. Buffy kicked the vampire off of her leg and then punched it squarely in its fanged face. "Bye," said Buffy before she staked it, causing it to fall into ashes on the dewy grass beside the empty grave. "I wonder how many of these graves are really empty," said Xander as Buffy stood up. "Too many to count, Xander, too many to count," said Buffy with a sigh as she and Xander began walking to another section of the graveyard. In the distance, a pair of evil eyes watched them intently them. A smile of evil contempt fell on Angelus's lips, as he read their minds through their actions. As they walked away from his viewpoint, a mental picture began to become twisted in his wicked thoughts. "So my lover's gotten over me already? And for who else but the White Knight that hates me so greatly?" whispered Angelus in the night, "She has fallen, but she'll fall even harder. After all, this is all part of this little game I play, in which I'm bound to win, especially when she sees her gallant white knight, dead and in the ground..." *********************** End of Part 9! Feed back Please? _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (8/?) Date: 08 May 1998 16:40:21 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #8 No Turning Back Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please send Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Description: A Xander and Cordelia aspect of the series Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Warning: Not really, just kissing, and no major violence or foul language. So, PG Author's Note: I know I haven't sent my Chronicles to the list in a long time, but now that I have some free time, I thought I'd send them. Meaning, 8-11(I just finished this one), so watch the numbers carefully ************************* The Chronicles of the White Knight #8 No Turning Back By: Taygeta Cordelia peered into the classroom and noticed that her science teacher, Mr. Barb, had left, but there was still one more person left in the room. She recognized him and realized that he was one of the college students that she had seen at a party once. It was on that day that she and buffy were almost sacrificed to that huge ugly giant worm or whatever it was. He hadn't been one of the fraternity brothers, but as she noted his Armani ensemble, she could see that he was definitely of the well-off kind. He looked up at her when he heard the door creak loudly and saw her eyes scanning the classroom, and scanning him. His frosted blue eyes met hers and his charming smile made Cordelia blush. "Yes, how may I help you?" he asked, his smile becoming even more refine by each passing second. "Um, I was looking for Mr. Barb, but I guess he isn't here," said Cordelia with a hesitant smile. "No, but he'll be back shortly. He just stepped out to run an errand, so please come in," he said with a welcoming motion. "Oh, okay," said Cordelia as she walked in and sat down on a desk near him. 'The name's Colin, Colin Williams, how do you do?" he asked extending his hand to shake hers. "Fine, thank you," she said, as she too, extended his hand, "My name's Cordelia." "Cordelia, hmm. A very pretty name for an even more beautiful young woman," complimented Colin with a smile. "I'm going to be Mr. Barb's teacher's aide for this semester. It's part of my pre-teacher experience." "Oh, really? You want to be a teacher?" asked Cordelia thinking that that had to be the most hardest and least paying jobs in the world. "That's gotta be pretty tough work, and well, Armani suits aren't that easy to come by on that type of salary." "You noticed the Armani, huh? One of the many advantages of being pampered and stuffed for all my 19 years," said Colin. "And I guess it's because of all of that indulgence that I wanted to give back to society and do something for the good of mankind, and not just for myself. You are right though, it is a pretty tough job." The door to the classroom opened up quickly and shut just as promptly. Cordelia and Colin turned to see Xander walking into the room and Mr. Barb had walked in before him. Xander noticed how closely Colin and Cordelia were standing next to each other, but he was silent. Cordelia eyed her boyfriend and felt uneasy that his usually blatant attitude was noticeably absent. "Cordelia, I see you've met Colin," said Mr. Barb with a smile as he sat down at his desk. "Now, I hear you and Xander wanted to ask me more about the project I just assigned you..." After Xander and Cordelia had left Mr. Barb's room, they had begun to walk home. The sun was on its way to setting and both walked in silence, which anyone could vouch was very odd. Ever since that spell, their relationship hadn't quite returned to normal. Cordelia didn't suspect that Xander remembered anything, and Xander wasn't about to tell her he knew everything. That lack of trust or information had caused things to be a little rocky between them, but Xander hoped that everything would turn out for the better, soon. "Well, Xander, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," said Cordelia, giving him a kiss on the cheek once they were at her house. "Yeah, Cordelia, tomorrow,' Xander said with a trying smile, and as he noticed that it was getting dark, and thought that the creatures of the night were probably stirring in their coffins. Xander walked to his house, which was only a few blocks away, considering the small size of Sunnydale, the rich and the average were in one section. He heard the crickets stop chirping once he walked up the porch steps to his house, and he had uneasy feeling. As he nervously reached for his keys, he dropped them, but before he could pick them up, someone already had. "Hello, Xander," said a voice in the dark, "Nice night, isn't it?" "Yeah," said Xander glancing into the shadows as he recognized the voice instantly, "A very nice night, considering that I have a vampire on my front porch. What do you want, Angel?" "It's not Angel, Xander, it's Angelus,' he said as he stepped out from the shadows. "Angel's gone, remember? Now, you've only got Angelus to fight." "What are you talking about?" Xander asked looking at Angel with cold eyes. "I've never fought Angel, and I've hit you, but as it seems, that's not considered fighting, especially if it didn't hurt." "On the contrary, Xander, I seem to recall that you weren't very happy when our precious Slayer chose Angel over you," said Angelus with an evil grin. "I mean, Angel knew what you were thinking, and so do I." "And what's that, Angelus?" asked Xander stiffly. "That the slayer would rather be with someone she was born to kill than to be you," said Angelus as he continuously threw and caught Xander's keys. "Well, Angelus, you're wrong," replied Xander eyeing the keys that fell and rose, "I didn't think like that. Buffy made her choice, and it was Angel. It was her choice to make and hers alone. It didn't make me love her any less and my opinion of Angel didn't change. Sure, I admit, I never liked Angel, but there's one thing I've realized now that you've arrived." "What's that?" asked Angelus with a smirk, who couldn't' believe how sappy Xander sounded. "That I hate you," said Xander calmly. "Ditto," said a familiar voice, which caused Xander and Angelus to turn to see Buffy. "Buffy, it's nice of you to join the party," said Angelus, "But you weren't invited." "I didn't know I had to RSVP, but since I'm here, do you mind?" asked Buffy glancing at the keys in Angelus' hand. "I don't know, Buffy, I'm kind of partial to these keys," said Angelus glancing at the glinting metal in his hand. Buffy smiled at his joke before she kicked him in the stomach, causing him to fall and drop the keys. Angelus groaned as he tried to stand up, but Buffy kicked him again and tossed the keys to Xander. Xander fiddled with the keys and was able to open the door. "Buffy, come on," said Xander hurriedly, and Buffy turned to look at Xander, giving him the expression that she wasn't going to runaway from a good fight, but when she turned to look at Angelus, he was gone. "Wimp," muttered Buffy under her breath as she reluctantly walked into the Harris' house. "Buffy, better to be a wimp than to be dead," said Xander jokingly as he closed the door behind her. "I speak from experience." "That Angelus makes me so mad, I can't believe that he was ever Angel," said Buffy with a sigh. "But Buffy, he was never Angel. I mean granted they look alike and have that whole vampire soul and no soul bond thing going on, but even Angelus makes out that they're two different people," pointed out Xander as he and Buffy sat down on the couch and he turned on the television set. "I'm sick and tired of Angelus, let's not talk about him, anymore, okay?" asked Buffy glancing at Xander. "Sure, Buffy," said Xander and he turned back to channel surfing, and then disgustingly turned it off. "There is nothing to watch, tonight! What are we going to do?" "Well, we have two options," said Buffy, "One we could stay home and be responsible, young adults by beginning our science project for Mr. Barb or two, we could slack off and hang at the Bronze." "The Bronze it is," said Xander standing up abruptly. Buffy and Xander walked into the Bronze, which was its usually crowded self. They found Oz and Willow sitting in their usual table and decided to interrupt the cute lovebirds. "Hi," said Buffy smiling at Oz and Willow, "What's up?" "I thought you had patrol tonight, Buffy," said Willow, her eyes widened with urgency as she looked at Buffy and darted to the dance floor. "Oh, really?" said Buffy, who looked at the dance floor in the corner of her eye, and once she saw what Willow had showed her, she was in a mad rush to get Xander out of there. "I guess I forgot. Xander, come on, we don't want to interrupt Willow and Oz's date." "Willow, I am shocked at you for forgetting our patrol schedules. Tonight, Giles is taking over shift with Cordelia," said Xander, and then his mouth opened a little once he saw noticed the couple in the center of the dance floor, who were none other than, Colin and Cordelia. They were dancing rather close and tight and Xander held his composure as he continued, "Or not." He stood watching them intently as they danced. They were dancing so closely that they were almost one whole, instead of two. It bothered Xander that they were dancing like that because he had never danced like that with Cordy before and there she was dancing like that with a practical stranger. But that didn't even compare to what happen to next that made Xander officially stunned and steamed. Colin, who was a five inches taller than Cordelia when she was in heels, bent his head down and kissed a very surprised dance partner. Of course, this very surprised dance partner didn't seem as if she wanted the kiss to end, and it lingered even when the music stopped Xander made sure that he was going to meet with Cordelia when she came from the dance floor. Colin separated with Cordelia and went to get them drinks and Xander walked towards a surprised Cordelia. She was taken back by his appearance there. "Xander, what are you doing here?" asked Cordelia with wide eyes. "I'd like to ask you the same question," said Xander. "Let's sit down, we have to talk," she said as she and Xander sat down at a table a few feet away from where their friends sat. "Who was that guy, anyway? That Colin guy?" asked Xander glancing at Colin who had kept his distance once he saw Xander. "He's Mr. Barb's teacher's aide," said Cordelia with a smile, "He's really nice and sweet and smart." "Everything, I'm not, right?" said Xander with a sigh. "No, Xander, you're all that and more, but this thing between us isn't working out, and you know the reason why," said Cordelia as she quickly glanced at the staring eyes of Oz, Willow, and who else, Buffy. "No, Cordy, I don't know what you're talking about," said Xander, "Enlighten me." "How do you expect us to be a couple if you are in love with Buffy? I mean, don't get me wrong Xander, I like you, but you don't like me, at least not that strongly," said Cordelia thinking of all the conflicts Buffy had caused in their relationship. "Cordelia, you're coming off as if Buffy is the main factor of our problems," said Xander. "I'm with you, so I'm not about to go and try to woo her, or whatever you want to call it. I'm not like that, I know what commitment is, but apparently you don't." "What?" asked Cordelia in amazement. "You heard me, Cordelia, whatever that was, whatever we had, it was good for awhile," said Xander bitterly. "But I would never have pulled that kind of a stunt even if Buffy were my soulmate okay? Not like you have. It was good, Cordelia. Up until now, it was good, but now, it's gone." Xander stood up and walked away, and although he had done this countless of times to so many other things, he meant it this time. He wasn't going to turn back, especially since there wasn't anything important there to go back to. ********************* End Part 8, feedback please!!!! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude # 5: "Cement Rebirth," by Ingrid Date: 08 May 1998 19:59:21 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Spike, Xander, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: I’ve decided to help explain the past through a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout the story as it goes on. This series is meant as a companion to "Reunion." (The flashbacks take place about 9 years beforehand.) If you haven’t read "Reunion," this won’t make much sense to you. If you don’t have parts 1-13 of it, you can write to me and request them. THANKS go to Michelle, Rachel, Clare, Mike, and Andrea for their assistance with the Buffy/Angel reaction scenarios. *Very* helpful in getting through writer’s block, guys! Also, to everyone here on the list who’s been putting up with my..uh.. lack of stories! =) Enjoy! "Reunion" Interlude # 5: "Cement Rebirth" by Ingrid Light gray. A wall. Soft pattering outside. Where was outside? Angel’s place. She was in his bed. What kind of sick joke could he possibly…. She moved to turn over, but she hit something solid and nearly screamed. He was facing away from her. Frantically, she grabbed her neck. Smooth. She exhaled sharply. It was him, but he was facing the other way. Then, with that corporeal assurance, it all came back at her, permeating her consciousness: a flash of Giles; squeal of the car; screams; and blood- So much blood. She convulsed as Willow’s death played out in her head. She wanted to change the dream, but no matter how fast she ran, it was never enough. A low groan diffracted off the wall: he was turning over. The accompanying terror she should have felt didn’t exist. She didn’t have a stake. Death was abstract; an unreal threat that she was incapable of comprehending. She didn’t have a stake. She regarded him lethargically, unmoving. *He looks like a disaster.* No stake. No way to kill… Her thoughts came unbidden; absent surface statements to describe something that was so much deeper. She took a moment to observe. A gash on his forehead, dried and messy. Deeply cut circles under the eyes. The bruise on his cheek, round as an apple, purple edged with blue. He was still asleep. "Angel?" Another label. He would kill her. She saw the eyes flutter, once, twice. Then they remained open, looking at her like she was something out of a nightmare. He didn’t say anything, but the horrific expression grew as his mind worked. He was incapable of movement. Nonetheless, he was shrinking from her. Her tears seemed to clarify her dim vision, instead of blurring it. How long had she waited… She grabbed his face and covered his mouth with hers. He barely had time to react. He felt her tears on his face. He opened his eyes and looked her over. And gasped as pointed anger rose from out of nowhere inside him. He broke the kiss; shoved himself backwards. Her eyes went wide in shock. "Why didn’t you kill me?" He barely recognized the wail as his own voice. She didn’t react for a minute- his words seemed to completely disconcert her. Slowly, her face crinkled up, and she shot him a look of intense pain before burying her face in a pillow. He wanted to take it back. No, he didn’t. He was angry. He was so angry. He pulled her to him and held her to his chest. Again, she was disconnected, scared, surprised, but she didn’t resist, or stop crying. She couldn’t seem to do anything else. He stroked her back with one hand, not knowing what else to do. Unbidden, images of the last night they’d spent here played before him. How different it had been. But not that different. She’d been crying. Was this closure? That was when he noticed his face was sopping wet. And when he realized… *My God, I’m crying.* *** END, Interlude # 5 _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Tracy Cain" Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Third Child (2/?) Date: 08 May 1998 18:35:42 PDT >Name: The Third Child Author: Rihanon Address: Rihanon@hotmail.com Feedback: This is my first story, so please share! Good? Bad? Ugly? I crave this information!!!!!!!! Distribution: Anya can have it, anyone else who wants it can e-mail me and ask. I'll say yes, but please ask first. Summary: A new vampire is in town, just attacked Buffy, and appears to be after Angel. Spoilers: uh- What's My Line? Definitely before S/I, though. Disclaimer: In no way am I creative enough to come up with the characters used in this story. If you recognize anything, it's not mine, and belongs to the evil Joss. Warnings:Um- none for this part, really. A little Buffy/Angel Rating: PG/PG-13 Author's Note's: I grovel before you all and beg forgiveness for taking forever to get this out, and it's not even that long! If you've forgotten the story, or joined recently, E-mail me for the earlier parts. Also, many thanks to Erana for her help, without which I wouldn't even have gotten this out. ****************** The Third Child: (2/?) By Rihanon ****************** Buffy stumbled through the streets of Sunnydale in a haze of pain; the slashes across her shoulder burned, and in some dazed part of her mind she suspected that -- thing's -- claws might have been poisoned. Desperately she struggled to hold on to consciousness, but fell to her knees as a wave of dizziness swept through her. Stars danced before her eyes as she clawed her way desperately back to her feet; she needed help. her thoughts grew ragged as she felt reality begin to slip away. "Angel . . . " she whispered, falling to the ground outside his door as darkness closed over her. Angel looked up from his book, catching scent of something and frowning slightly. He rose and went towards the door, opening it to look for the source of the smell. He stumbled backwards in shock at the sight of his love, lying in a pool of spreading blood. "Buffy!" he exclaimed, dropping to his knees to cradle her unconscious form. She moaned softly as he lifted her and carried her inside. Gently Angel laid the motionless slayer on the bed, and pulled the blood-soaked cloth away from her wounds. "Who did this to you," he whispered. "Who?" But there was no response. Gritting his teeth against the sickly sweet smell that filled the room, the vampire began to clean the deep gashes. As he gently dabbed at her wounds with a peroxide soaked cloth he tried to figure out what had happened. he thought to himself, seeing the claw marks down her back. A low moan broke his train of thought. "Angel?" came the soft whisper. "Shhh, I'm right here." "Where - " "At my apartment. Buffy -- what happened?" Buffy took a deep breath and sat up, trying to think straight. "I was patrolling . . . and this thing . . . it came out of nowhere . . . I got it, but it hit me . . . pretty good. Then - this vampire was there, God, Angel . . . I've never been so scared in my entire life." She leaned against him and trembled slightly. "Angel," she whispered, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "who is he? Who's Rasitin?" Angel closed his eyes and swallowed tightly. "Who?" he whispered, hoping he'd heard her wrong. "He said to tell you that 'Rasitin is in town, and it's payback time,'" Buffy recited,"then he said he'd make you beg to die. Angel, who is he?" He stared off into the distance, not responding. "Angel -- " "I made him," Angel muttered, talking more to himself than to her. "What?" "I made him; I turned him into a vampire," he whispered brokenly. "I thought he was dead -- I should have known better . . . " "But what does he want?" she asked, staring at him worriedly. "And what was that thing that attacked me?" Angel took a deep breath, metaphorically speaking, and stared at Buffy. "Rasitin is a medium, a - demon summoner - for lack of a better term. He's power, and very ruthless." After a moment of silence he continued, "I have to get out of town." "No!" Buffy shouted. "Angel - we can beat him. Come on, together we can beat anything I . . . " she trailed off, her lower lip trembling as tears filled her eyes. "I need you. You can't go." He cradled her shaking form against him. "I don't want to, but there's no other way. He'll kill you; for no other reason than because I love you -- he'll hurt you just to get to me." He held her so tightly that she feared her ribs would crack. "And if he sends his demons after us -- they'll win. There's no other way. I'll leave, and Raistin will follow." **** A light drizzle was coming down on the giggling figure of a little girl, playing in the street. A dark figure loomed over her, and she glanced up fearfully. "Well, well, well. A present, and it isn't even my birthday," laughed the vampire. "Hello, little one." The girl's eyes filled with worried tears. "Who are you?" Rasitin chuckled. "Your death." Lifting the child easily, he sank his fangs into her neck. When the last of her sweet blood was gone, he tosed her body carelessly into the gutter before walking off into the night. *********** I know I haven't done anything to deserve it-- but, feedback? Please? -Rihanon "Do not meddle in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Betsy Vera Subject: BUFFYFIC: FIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (1/5) Date: 08 May 1998 21:43:17 -0400 (EDT) Title: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer." (1/5) Author: Elizabeth Vera E-Mail: bentley@umich.edu Spoiler: Through Killed by Death, I guess. Rating: PG, maybe PG-13. Feedback: Please and thank you. Summary: A.U. What if someone else were the Slayer. Disclaimer: I own Alice. Joss owns everyone else. -------------------- "Damn!" Giles slammed the thick book shut. If he weren't so well-trained, he would've thrown the book against the wall. Nothing! He could find nothing! He collapsed back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. As a Watcher, Rupert Giles felt like a failure. It was his duty, as the latest in a long line of Watchers, to watch over the Slayer, to ensure her safety. When something unexplainable happened, it was his job to decipher the nature of the threat so he could prepare her to face it and, if necessary, destroy it. But what if he couldn't decipher it? Ever since Buffy's brief hospital stay when she'd had the flu, vampire activity in Sunnydale had been close to non-existent. Nothing of a supernatural nature had taken place in weeks. Even the long series of unusually strong storms had ended. It had been very quiet, and this worried him. The library door opened and two teenagers came in. "Hi, Giles." "Ah, Willow, Buffy," he greeted them. A third teenager came through the door. "Xander." Buffy replied half-heartedly. She had been distracted, lately; no doubt brooding over Angelus. She saw the weapons Giles had laid out on the table and raised an eyebrow at him. "Sticks again?" "It's called a quarterstaff, Buffy, as you well know." She rolled her eyes. "Sorry. So, if you have two of these, is that a half-staff?" He ignored her and picked up his protective gear off the table. As he strapped it onto his body and secured it in place, Buffy glanced quizzically at her two friends. Willow and Xander, ostensibly there to do their homework, had settled in at the central table to watch. They shrugged their shoulders at her. Giles had been very tense, lately, and their every attempt at making him relax had failed. Suddenly, Xander jumped up. "Wait. I forgot to bring supplies. Be right back." He ran past a puzzled-looking Giles and out the door. Willow explained to him. "Emergency snacks run." "Ah." He turned to Buffy. "Are you ready?" Giles suddenly swung his staff at Buffy's head and narrowly missed hitting her, catching her by surprise. She ducked and swung at his feet, but he managed to avoid being struck. They circled each other, watching for an opening in the other's defenses. *Oh boy! It's going to be one of those, isn't it?* Buffy was worried about Giles. His sparring sessions had been more frequent lately and they were way more intense than they used to be. Buffy wished that whatever the Hellmouth had in store for them next would hurry up and get it over with. The pressure of not knowing what was going on was obviously getting to Giles and, if this kept up, somebody was going to get hurt. Buffy swung; Giles blocked it neatly, turned, and aimed a blow at her middle. She blocked it and managed to strike Giles. His shoulder pad absorbed the blow. His concentration was contagious, and Buffy never noticed when she started hitting faster, harder. Swing, block, the occasional blow. They both sparred with unusual intensity. Giles might not be able to figure out why Sunnydale was behaving so...normally, but he knew it was bound to stop, sooner or later. And when it did, he intended to make very sure that Buffy was ready for any unexpected physical attacks. Jab, parry, duck. Emotional attacks, on the other hand.... As her Watcher, Giles felt responsible for both her physical and emotional well-being. Angelus' silence of the past several weeks had been very unnerving for Buffy, and Giles couldn't think of a way to relieve her anxiety. What he should've done was nip her romance with Angel in the bud and prevented all her heartache from happening. He laughed at his presumption. All of her heartache? Buffy had been through a lot in the past year. She had died at the hands of the Master, had seen her classmates murdered, had lost her mother's trust, had fallen in love with a vampire who had then become her fiercest enemy. Buffy ducked a blow and heard Giles laugh. *Oh, great! Just what we need. Giles is cracking.* She tried to read his expression but had to concentrate on blocking a series of well-aimed jabs at her body. She responded in kind, swung her staff low, and managed to wipe his feet off the floor. He fell to the ground with a dull thud and a sharp crack. Buffy dropped her staff and ran to where he lay unconscious on the floor. "Oh, god, Giles! Giles, are you okay?" ***** "Mr. Giles!" "Whaa--" Giles came to suddenly. A dark-haired girl peered down at him, looking very worried. "Are you all right, Mr. Giles? I'm sorry, I--I didn't mean to hit you so hard." He blinked, confused. She helped him off the library floor and sat him down at one on the tables while she continued apologizing. He made vague noises when she offered to get him a cup of tea, and she took the noises as assent and disappeared into his office. He took the opportunity to try to regain his bearings but the pounding in his head made things difficult. He shook his head to try to clear it, but that only made his dizziness worse. He held his head, groaning. "Here, Mr. Giles, drink this. It'll make you feel better." He took the cup, automatically, and gulped down the too-hot tea. The burning liquid served to distract him from his headache. He looked up at the girl who was still fussing over him. "Alice, I'm fine. Please, relax." Alice did not relax, but, eventually, at Giles' insistence, stopped apologizing and went home for the evening. Giles sighed. Being Alice's Watcher hadn't been at all what he had expected. ---------- A few months ago, when he had received word that the new Slayer had been found in California, and that he was being assigned as her Watcher, he'd had conflicting emotions. On the one hand, being a Watcher was what he had trained for all his life. On the other hand...California? He envisioned Alice as the stereotypical California girl--beach, sand, surf, brainless, and oversexed. He was willing to admit that his impressions had been formed by American television--despite his best attempts, Baywatch had managed to creep into his consciousness--and his impressions could be wrong. However, his first day at Sunnydale High School hadn't done much to lessen his dread. He'd had the bad luck to ask Cordelia Chase for directions to the principal's office. The student had been polite enough in answering his question, but, unfortunately, he had managed to overhear her remarks after she believed he was out of earshot. "Gads, where does the school board find these losers? Did you check out those clothes? *Nobody* this century dresses like that. And that smell! Can you say "mothball city"? Yeewww!" He had met Alice early one morning after someone had knocked her things to the floor. "Let me help you pick those up," he had offered. She had looked up, startled. "Thanks, but, I'm...I'm fine." She seemed embarrassed by the attention as she took the notebook he handed her. "Thank you." "You're welcome." Giles started back the way he'd been going. "Excuse me, sir?" He stopped and turned back to her. She stood in the middle of the hallway, looking lost. "Um...where's the library? Principal Flutie said I'm supposed to go there to get my books," she held a crumpled slip of paper in her hand, presumably a book list, "but I don't know where anything is. I'm new here." He stopped in his tracks. He knew of only one new student starting this late in the school year. "Miss Peterson?" She blinked at him. "Alice Peterson?" "Um...yes?" "I'm Mr. Giles, the librarian." So, this was the Slayer. He wasn't sure what he had expected. She looked so...normal. Medium height--a little on the short side, maybe--medium weight, brown eyes partially obscured by wavy dark brown hair. Just an ordinary girl. There was nothing about her to suggest she was the Chosen One. "Mr. Giles?" He realized he was staring. "So sorry. That was very rude of me. Umm...the library is this way," he pointed down the hall. "I was heading there, myself." They walked together in uncomfortable silence. Giles was debating with himself how best to broach the subject of Alice's Slayerhood. He didn't want to scare her away, but she needed to be told as soon as possible. Most Slayers started their careers when they were much younger than Alice was now. What if she didn't accept her role in life? What if she wasn't up to the job? Alice was very confused. She couldn't decide what she thought of the librarian. There was something odd about him. The way he stared at her, for instance. Sure, everyone stares at the new kid, but, when he did it, she felt like he was looking inside her. Creepy. But, at the same time, she also felt she could trust him, and she wasn't sure why. When they reached the library, he held the door open for her and followed her in. He went behind the counter on the right, where he kept the leftover textbooks, as she looked around the room in admiration. The curved wooden banisters, impressive skylight, and rich dark wood furnishings gave the split-level library a sense of elegance unusual in a school setting. Giles smiled at her reaction. He checked the textbooks he had gathered against the list she'd given him and placed them on the counter. "Here are the books you need." She was still looking around. "Miss Peterson?" She turned back to him. "Sorry. I--I guess I got distracted. It's... Wow. I've never seen a library like this. I like it." She seemed almost embarrassed by her enthusiasm. The library door suddenly swung open and a student rushed in, almost running into Alice. "Oh! Sorry! Have you seen Mr. Giles?" She was about Alice's height, and her long, straight red hair swung around as its owner bounced excitedly and breathlessly. "Yes, Willow?" asked Giles. "Oh, hi." She hadn't noticed him behind the counter. She tried to get her breath back and tucked her hair behind her ear in a nervous mannerism. "You know that project I'm helping you with, the one I said I would finish today? I just came to say that I can't do it. Today, I mean. Tomorrow--no, tomorrow's Saturday; I mean Monday. I can finish it on Monday, if you like. But mom is surprising me for my birthday and said she's taking me to the new computer exhibit at the Natural History Museum in L.A. It's supposed to be really cool! So we stopped at school for a minute so I can drop off my paper for English and to tell you that I wasn't coming in today. 'Cause I didn't want you to think that I don't want to finish the project, 'cause I do want to finish it. Is that okay?" She finally ran out of breath and looked up at him, expectantly. Giles blinked at her and repeated the one thing he had managed to understand. "Today is your birthday?" She grinned. "It's really tomorrow, but mom got tickets to the VIP opening at the museum and that's today. Isn't that great?" A bell rang before Giles could answer. "Oops. Gotta go. Mom's waiting for me in the car. Bye, Mr. Giles." Willow waved at Giles and Alice and ran out without waiting for a reply. Giles stared at the library door, bemused. Willow Rosenberg was one of the best students at Sunnydale High School. She excelled in every subject but seemed to have a particular talent for computers. He, on the other hand, could not understand the attraction. Computers were totally alien to him and filled him with dread, yet he was required to use them as part of his job as school librarian. Fortunately, Willow had come in to the library on his first day, explained that she had been helping his predecessor--an old gentleman who had been at the school for as long as anyone could remember--with any and all computer work the library required, and had volunteered to continue doing this for him, if he wanted her to. His relief had been almost comical. Since then, she had spent her free periods at the library, updating the catalogue and doing whatever other mysterious things people did with computers. Giles suddenly remembered Alice--"Miss Peterson?"--but she had left while he wasn't paying attention. He would have to find some way to talk to her in private. She needed to know about her destiny. -------------------- BETSY VERA * bentley@umich.edu * http://bentley.simplenet.com Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) * * Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style * ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Betsy Vera Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer (2/5) Date: 08 May 1998 21:43:55 -0400 (EDT) "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (2/5) ---------- He had found an opportunity sooner than he expected. Later, that same day, Alice had returned to the library. "Hi, Mr. Giles." She had seemed unsure of herself. "Is it okay if I do my homework here? I have a free period and Mrs. Dowling said I could go to the cafeteria or to the library. And the cafeteria's too noisy." "Of course." He scrambled to move several piles of books from the central table. "I'll just need to clear some space for you. I--I'm not used to students coming here." She had caught him by surprise. Other than Willow, who also had a free period at this time, hardly anyone came to the library, so he had planned to spend some quiet time reading old Watcher journals. He'd hoped to get some ideas about how best to approach the Slayer. And here she was, and he still had no clue. "They don't?" she sounded a little startled. "Pardon?" "Um...I mean...if students aren't allowed in here, I can go back to the cafeteria--" she started edging out the door. "No, please. I didn't mean that." He hadn't mean to sound abrupt, but her unexpected appearance had flustered him. "Students are always allowed in here. But most of them don't care to, apparently." "Oh." She stood at the door, undecided. "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to bother you." He smiled and tried to look more welcoming. "I'm sure. Please, come in. You can sit here." He ushered her towards the table. "I'll be in my office if you need anything. And, please, don't be afraid to ask. You won't be bothering me. All right?" She nodded, slightly reassured. Giles busied himself reshelving books while Alice did her homework. She was diligent and systematic, seemingly oblivious to distractions. That was a good sign. Starting her career as a Slayer so late in life, she was going to have a lot of learning to catch up on. The Slayer Handbook, for one. The lore, the history, her duties; it would all be new to her. He wondered how good she was at languages. Giles was a firm believer in learning from primary sources, whenever possible--translations could be so unreliable--and most of the ancient tomes of vampire history were written in Ancient Greek and Latin. Then there was the physical training: self-defense, weapons training.... He put the stack of books he was carrying on a table, removed his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had a lot of work ahead of him, but, before he could begin anything, he had to talk to the Slayer. Alice. He watched her from his vantage point at the top of the stairs. Unbeknownst to him, Alice was aware that he was watching her. He had done that a lot in the past half hour. He'd carry a load of books to the upper level, shelve them, stop to watch her, then repeat the process with the next armful. Alice prided herself on noticing what went on around her, especially when no one was aware she was doing it. Most times, people weren't even aware that she was in the room. Her father had been in and out of hospitals for the past few years and her mother spent all her time worrying about him, so Alice had learned to stay out of the way by learning the art of fading into the background. She had been amazed at how much there was to see from there. Then, a few years ago, came the dreams. Nightmares about vampires. Sometimes, the vampires killed people. Other times, they spoke to her, told her they were waiting for her to come. After lying awake too many nights after one of the dreams, she had taken to sneaking out her bedroom window and going for long walks in the middle of the night. She wasn't afraid of the dark. She knew how to avoid any people she came across in her walks and, despite her dreams, she didn't believe in monsters. They only existed in the movies. And in her nightmares. A week ago, her family had moved to town so her father could start some new treatment at Sunnydale Hospital. As soon as she could, Alice had started exploring the town, hoping to find something interesting beneath the sleepy suburb exterior. Boy, did she ever find it! She had seen things late at night that puzzled her. Something was definitely going on in Sunnydale and (1) no one seemed to know about it and (2) she had no idea what "it" was, but she was determined to find out. If she hadn't had so much homework to catch up on from starting the semester so late, she would've stayed at the cafeteria today and watched. And listened. And learned. Instead, she had come to the library, and now she was the one being watched, and it made her uncomfortable. She wasn't used to being noticed, especially by adults. This librarian seemed to be the exception. There, he was doing it again. She heard him drop a load of books on the table up there, and now she could feel him watching her. It didn't feel threatening or "bad" in any way, just...weird. She heard him coming down the stairs again but, instead of returning to the book cart for another load, he went to where she was sitting. "Excuse me?" Despite knowing he was there, she jumped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized. "I was going to put some water on for tea. Would you like some?" "Um...y-yeah," she stammered out. "Thank you." As he went to his office to take care of tea, she mentally kicked herself. She wished she weren't so bad about talking to people, but she never knew what to say. After a few minutes, he popped his head through the door. "Would you mind if I joined you out there?" She shook her head and he disappeared back into the office. He came back out with a tray, set it down, sat opposite her at the table, and started pouring. "Cream and sugar?" "Yes, please." "So, have you been in Sunnydale long?" He was trying his best to make her comfortable but, from the way she was looking down, avoiding his gaze, his best didn't seem to be good enough. In a way, she reminded him of Willow when they had first met. Alice seemed to be even shyer. He hoped she would relax, eventually, the way Willow had done. "We just moved." She spoke into her tea cup. "Ah. I'm fairly new in town, myself. New to this country, as a matter of fact. No response from her. He continued, regardless. "In the short time I've been here, I've been doing some fascinating research. My particular interest--more of a hobby, really--is the occult. Witchcraft, magic, sorcery." He paused for effect. "Vampires." She looked up and stared at him. He had her full attention. "Vampires?" He met her gaze steadily. "Do you believe in the existence of vampires, Miss Peterson?" Her eyes widened. "Maybe," she replied, warily. Giles broke eye contact. "More tea?" She blinked a couple of times at the non sequitur. "Yes. Thank you." Giles poured again and handed her a fresh cup of tea. "There are many fascinating legends about vampires, far more interesting than what you see in the movies, actually." He continued for a while about vampires throughout history. Alice listened, entranced. She loved storytellers, especially when they really knew their subject, as he obviously did. Several times, he wandered to the stacks to look up a reference or to illustrate a point he was making. Eventually, he brought the subject around to vampire hunters and someone he called, "The Slayer. Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a chosen one, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil--" "A girl? Isn't it usually an old guy called Van Helsing?" Giles' enthusiasm was contagious and Alice had surprised herself by coming out of her shell. She was leaning forward, elbows on the table, having an actual conversation with an adult, as if she did that sort of thing every day. "That is in the movies. The Slayer is always a girl." "But how can one girl do all that by herself?" "The Slayer is not alone. She is trained by her Watcher. The Watcher is in charge of preparing her, physically and mentally, to fight and destroy vampires." "How?" She sounded skeptical. "The Slayer has several advantages over other girls. She has superior strength and agility. She heals faster than normal and has greater stamina, thus being able to withstand and recover from injuries that would incapacitate someone not so gifted. The Watcher's job is to train her to use these gifts to the best of her abilities." "And you say there's only one in each generation? So what happens when she dies? There's no one to fight vampires until a new one is born and grows up?" "No. At all times, there are several girls around the world with the potential to be the Slayer. When the Slayer dies, one of those girls becomes the Slayer." "But...how? And how does the Watcher know who she is? And how does *she* know who she is? And--" He raised his hand to stop her string of questions. A glance at the clock had shown him that the period was almost over. He didn't have much time left. He had to tell her now. "Usually, most of the potential Slayers have been identified ahead of time and the Watchers..." he searched in vain for the right word, "...know...when one of those girls has become the new Slayer. However, sometimes the Slayer is not among the known potential Slayers, so the Watchers have to look for her." "But how do they know where to look?" "They don't. They look all over the world, hoping for the best. Sometimes, like now, it takes years." Alice stared at him. Suddenly, she didn't like where this conversation was going. "What do you mean, "like now"?" she asked in quiet voice. He could see her retreating behind her protective walls. He leaned forward and spoke carefully. "Alice. Listen to me. What I just told you, about the Slayer. It's all true. It's not a fairy tale, or a legend, or a myth. It's fact. Do you understand?" She nodded slowly. Her expression was unreadable. He continued. "Vampires are real. Slayers are real. I am a Watcher. After looking for several years, we have finally found the new Slayer and I have been assigned to guide and train her." He paused, hoping for some sort of reaction from her. As Giles talked, Alice had unconsciously been leaning back into the chair, away from the table and Giles, trying to distance herself from the topic. Things were starting to make sense, and this frightened her. The feelings of danger she got around the park and the cemetery, warning her away. The way her hand had healed so quickly after she broke that glass last year. The way she could outrun all the kids in gym at her old school. She really, really didn't like where this conversation was going. "Alice." She looked up. It was hard to tell who was the more nervous of the two. "Alice.... You are the Slayer." Before he had finished talking, she was shaking her head. She was still shaking it when she stood up and backed away from him, and only stopped when she hit the counter and couldn't back away any further. She was breathing hard, and her voice was ragged. "No, I'm not." But she was. She *knew* she was, but she didn't want to be. She didn't want the dreams to be true. She didn't want the monsters to be real. She just wanted to be little Alice Peterson, the one no one ever noticed. "No, I'm not," she repeated, hoping repeating it would make it so, but knowing it wouldn't. Giles didn't know what to do. No one ever knew what to expect with a new Slayer. Skepticism, of course. But...apprehension? "Alice--" "Why me?" she whispered. "Why pick me? I'm not special." He saw his opening. "But, you are, Alice. You're the Slayer. The only one in all the world. That is what makes you special." ---------- BETSY VERA * bentley@umich.edu * http://bentley.simplenet.com Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) * * Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style * ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Betsy Vera Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (3/5) Date: 08 May 1998 21:44:16 -0400 (EDT) "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (3/5) ---------- That had been three months ago, and in that time he had tried to convince her he was right. After several long conversations, she had agreed to do as he asked and they had set up an after-school training schedule. She had proven to be a fast learner. She had memorized several sections of the Slayer Handbook in record time and was making progress in learning to read Latin and Greek. Her skills in self defense and weapons handling were improving remarkably. He never failed to congratulate her on her progress. However, he had yet to take her on any vampire hunts. He should've started her on that at least a month ago, if not sooner. but he didn't think she was ready. Oh, she had the skills. What she lacked was confidence, and without confidence.... Giles spent the rest of the evening with his books. For days, the signs and portents had given warning. Something big was about to happen and he needed to find out what, and when. He went back to the library early the next morning, still researching. He was only interrupted once that morning, by a faculty meeting to discuss a dead boy found in the girls' locker room. Another sign. Early in the afternoon, Alice and Willow came in, as usual. They shared a free period during which Alice did her homework while Willow worked on whatever library project Giles had for her that day. Thanks to these daily meetings, the two girls had become friends. From his office, Giles could overhear occasional snatches of their whispered conversations. "I can't go. I have to tr--I have something to do this evening. Exercise class. After school." "That's okay, you can come after class. We were going to meet later than usual, tonight." "I can't, really. I'm busy." "Are you sure? Jesse and Xander are going to go. And Xander promised to do his world-famous Cordelia imitation." "Really, I can't." Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Even to his ears, Alice had sounded wistful. In an attempt to increase her self-confidence, he had intensified her training in the past month. She had worked hard, trying to please him, but she still didn't believe in herself. Perhaps what she really needed was to relax with her friends and think about something else, for a change. He sighed. It wasn't right for a young girl to spend all her spare time training, even if she was the Slayer. When Alice returned to the library after school that afternoon, she was surprised to find that Giles hadn't laid out the usual weaponry and padding. In fact, Giles didn't seem to be ready for her at all. "You need a break, Alice. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" "Excuse me?" "It's a nice day, Alice, and I'm declaring a holiday. Go...wherever it is that young people go to have fun." "But, I'm supposed to train, Mr. Giles." "Not today. You have been working very hard, and it's time you had a vacation, even if it's a short one. So, go, before I change my mind." -.-.-.-.- Very early the next morning, Alice knocked on Giles' office door. "Mr. Giles?" She had never liked to disturb him when he was reading, but her usually tentative greeting sounded more timid than ever. Giles, immersed in his work, didn't hear her. After several minutes, he finally became aware that he wasn't alone. He looked up and saw Alice sagging against the door. He jumped to his feet. "Good heavens, Alice! What's wrong? Sit down." She didn't seem to be too steady on her feet as he guided her gently to his desk. "Alice?" She took a deep breath. "It's W-W-Willow. And Jesse..." She faltered. "Here, why don't I get you a cup of tea, then you can tell me about it." At her shaky nod, he stood and put the kettle on the hot plate. As he waited for the water to boil, he watched Alice. She looked pale and scared and she was trembling. Something had scared her badly. The kettle's whistling distracted him from his worrying. He put the steaming cup carefully into her shaking hands. "Here, drink this." Alice set the cup down but didn't drink from it. Abruptly, she turned towards Giles. "It's really real, isn't it?" "What is?" "Vampires. All that stuff about v-v-...vampires and Slayer and prophecies... It's all real, isn't it? And that's why they're dead, right? People are going to die and I'm supposed to stop it from happening, right?" "Dead?" No, not shy, gentle Willow... "Alice, who is dead?" "Willow and Jesse, all right?" Suddenly, she was on her feet, shouting. "I went to the Bronze last night and now they're dead! I'm supposed to protect them, right? I'm supposed to be the great Slayer protecting humanity from the evil vampires, and I can't even save my friends." "Alice--" "I can't do it! I'm not a superhero. I'm just a kid." She dropped back down on the chair and burst into tears. "Oh, Alice..." Giles only hesitated for a moment and reached out and drew her into his arms. He let her cry for a good long while. When she had calmed down a little, he lifted her chin so they were face to face. "Alice," he said to her, kindly but with conviction. "I don't expect you to be a superhero, I only expect you to be you." "But--" "Listen to me. You are the Slayer. You are capable, and smart, and strong. You have trained hard, and you have studied hard. You can do this, Alice." He paused while she thought it over. "All right?" She nodded, unconvinced. "Now, please tell me about last night. What happened at the Bronze?" Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Giles waited patiently. After another deep, shaky breath, Alice reopened her eyes but didn't meet his gaze. "Okay," she started. "I was supposed to meet Willow outside the Bronze. I've been there with her and the guys before, and I usually get there early, so I won't be late. Giles smiled. That sounded like something Alice would do. "Anyway, Willow got there really early, too, so we went inside to get a table and wait for the guys to show up. The place was pretty packed. Then Jesse showed up, but he was more interested in trying to talk to Cordelia than to us, so he went to look for her. So Willow and I looked at guys." She stopped and glanced up at him, looking slightly embarrassed. "It's okay if I talk about guys, right? I mean, it's okay to tell you that we talked about guys?" Again, he smiled. "Of course. Go on." She nodded back. "Okay. Then Jesse came back and then this guy from math class came over and asked me to dance, and I said no. So Willow said I should've said yes and I told her I didn't want to, and besides I don't know how to dance. And Jesse said I was just scared. I said I wasn't scared, and Jesse said we both were, me and Willow. So Willow said she was not, and then Jesse dared her to dance with the next boy who asked. And Willow said, "Fine, I'll show you I'm not afraid of boys." Just then this guy came up and asked Willow to dance. I didn't think she'd go through with it, but then Jesse started to smirk so Willow got mad at him." Alice had managed to compose herself during her story. She still looked lost, but her voice was steadier. "You should've seen the look on Jesse's face when Willow went off to dance with that guy." She managed to chuckle a bit. "Jesse and I watched them for a bit, then Jesse saw a girl he hadn't seen before so he went to try to talk to her. Then Xander came in, but then I couldn't find Willow or Jesse. We both looked for them, but no one had seen them. So Xander walked me home. Then, this morning, Xander called me--" Alice's voice faltered. "It's all right, Alice. Take your time." His soft voice was reassuring. She swallowed hard and continued. "Xander called me at home. He said Willow's parents and Jesse's parents had phoned him because he was their best friend and they wanted to make sure he heard the news from them and not at school. He said their bodies had been found near the graveya--" She was interrupted by the library door swinging open. A short, balding, middle-aged man walked in. "Hello? Is anyone here?" Giles and Alice stood up, startled. Giles smiled at her, reassuringly, and went out to meet the principal. "Yes? Principal Flutie?" "Ah, Mr. Giles, there you are. There's going to be a faculty meeting today at noon about the two students who died last night. Attendance by *all* faculty is required." He suddenly noticed Alice standing behind Giles. He turned to her. "Do I know you? Are you a student here?" Alice blinked at him and tried to hide further behind Giles. Giles came to her rescue. "Yes, this is Miss Peterson. She was just telling me about Miss Rosenberg and Mr.--" In a flash, the principal was ushering Alice towards the door. "You knew the two dead students? It's imperative that you speak to a grief counselor right away." "But--" She looked at Giles for assistance. "Immediately. Before untold damage is done to your subconscious." The principal and Alice were almost at the door before Giles could get a word in. "Principal Flutie? Surely you don't want the other students to see her like this?" Giles pointed out her tear-stained face. "Perhaps, if you let her compose herself, first? I'll make sure she goes to the counselor right away." Flutie considered his idea briefly. "All right. But make sure she does. They'll be expecting her. And I expect to see you at noon at the meeting." Giles and Alice watched him leave. A session with Principal Flutie was like surviving a small tornado. It left one breathless and confused. Giles waited near the library doors to give Alice some privacy as she washed up at the small sink in his office. When she came out, looking slightly damp but refreshed, he gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "It'll be all right, Alice." She nodded, and gathered her book bag off the floor where she had dropped it when she came in. "Oh, Alice?" He called out to her just before she left. "Make sure you come by in your free period. I found something in my research last night that we need to discuss urgently." "Sure, Mr. Giles." Giles went to the door and watched her through the window. Despite the hallway being crowded with students, she looked alone. Her shoulders were more hunched over than usual, as though she were carrying the weight of the world on them. After last night, perhaps she finally felt as if she did. He didn't notice when he went back to his desk and absent-mindedly drank from Alice's untouched tea cup. He rubbed his eyes. He was very tired. He had stayed up all night doing research, and had finally figured out what the portents meant. The Harvest, a ritual bloodletting involving the deaths of many mortals, was meant to free the Master--the local vampire king--from his inter-dimensional prison. And, according to the signs--that is, if Giles had read them properly--this Harvest was supposed to take place tonight. He had intended to find Alice this morning, before school, and tell her the news, but Principal Flutie had seen to it that wouldn't happen. He took a deep breath. His Watcher training hadn't included much about the psychology of teenage girls, and he often felt as though he were making it up as he went along. From his reading of the Watcher journals, he knew that no Slayer was like the ones before, but he didn't recall any of them being like Alice. Slayers tended towards brashness and overconfidence. Alice had the skills and the knowledge, but if she was to succeed as a Slayer, she had to believe, deep inside herself, that she truly was *The* Slayer. He had yet to find a way to make her believe in herself, to awaken that spark in her. As far as he could tell, she was merely going through the motions, doing the training only because he asked her to and because she didn't want to disappoint him. Not good enough. With a sigh, Giles returned to his work. ---------- BETSY VERA * bentley@umich.edu * http://bentley.simplenet.com Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) * * Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style * ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Betsy Vera Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (4/5) Date: 08 May 1998 21:44:48 -0400 (EDT) "Alice, the Vampire Slayer' (4/5) ---------- As often happened when he was involved in research, Giles lost track of time and someone had come to remind him of the compulsory faculty meeting. Ungraciously, he attended and wasted precious time listening to Flutie's theories and other such nonsense. Finally, the faculty was released and Giles returned to his office. He glanced at his watch. Alice should be in soon. As he gathered the books he would need to show her, he heard a muffled thump coming from the library. That would be her, dropping her book bag on the floor, as usual. The next sound would be Xander Harris, who always walked Willow to the library--Giles stopped in mid-step. Not today. Willow wouldn't be coming in today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day.... Giles sighed wearily. He was going to miss her. Her bright smile, her eagerness to learn. She had kept him up to date on the school gossip and yet had never shown a hint of malice. She was a happy child and wanted all around her to be happy, too. Willow, who always had a joke or story ready for him; who thought he was "cool." Giles smiled to himself, remembered the overheard whispered conversation between Willow and Alice. He sighed. Shy, sweet, Willow. And now she was dead, a victim in a war she knew nothing about. He stopped that train of thought. This was no time for sentimentality. If Alice was to stop the Harvest tonight, she couldn't be distracted by emotional Watchers. He took a deep breath and prepared himself to prepare the Slayer. When he came out, he saw Alice at her usual seat, her textbooks spread out over the table. With a shock, he noticed that she was taking up only exactly half the table. The other half had always been Willow's. At his gasp, she turned around and looked at him. Anger. Not directed at him, Giles was relieved to notice after a moment, but anger, nevertheless. It was in her eyes and in the way she held herself, shoulders straight and head held high, not her usual wallflower hunch. "You said you found something, Mr. Giles. Is it about killing vampires?" She sounded brusque, business-like. "Um--yes. Yes, in a way." He came out of his shock. Until this morning, he had never seen Alice angry. Not even miffed. He wasn't sure how to take this. "I--I think I've found the answer to something that has been puzzling me," he continued, thumbing through one of the books he had brought from his office. As he explained to her about the Harvest, she listened attentively, as always, but, whereas she usually just nodded obediently at the end of one of his lectures, this time she had questions. She needed to know details; everything he knew about the Master, about the Harvest; about any weaknesses she could use to stop him. "Any idea where they're doing this Harvest, Mr. Giles?" "I'm not exactly sure about that, yet. They'll want a place with lots of people; young people, preferably, since they have a more vibrant life force--" "They're going to hit the Bronze." "Pardon?" "The Bronze," repeated Alice, sounding very sure of herself. "It's the only place in Sunnydale. It's always full of kids, and tonight there's no cover." She stopped and looked up at him. "They're going to pay for what they did to Jesse and Willow." Her eyes dared him to contradict her. Before he could react, the bell rang. Alice gathered her things. As she rushed out of the library, Giles called out to her. "We'll meet here tonight, at seven." "Don't worry. I'll be here. Bye." Giles sat back down, still a little overwhelmed by what had just happened. He reviewed their conversation and decided that, overall, he was pleased with the change in Alice. She seemed to have developed a sense of purpose. At least some good seemed to be coming out of last night's tragedy. -.-.-.-.- They met that evening, as arranged. Giles had gone home after school to freshen up. After spending the past thirty-six hours doing research at the library, he had felt in need of a shower, a real meal, and something softer than a desk to sleep on. Alice was already at the library when he arrived and didn't notice him coming in. She was punching and jabbing an imaginary opponent. Her form was faultless, her hits unwavering. Not wanting to interrupt, he didn't speak until she stopped to drink from her water bottle. "Hello, Alice." At the sound, she whirled into an attack position, startling him into backing up a step. She relaxed when she recognized him. "Oh, hi, Mr. Giles, it's you. Sorry 'bout that. I got here early to practice some more." She was breathing hard, restless, pacing the floor as she spoke. "I'm ready for them." "That's...good." Giles looked worriedly at her. He set his briefcase on the counter and took out some books. "There are some things we need to go over--" "Now? We don't have time for that!" He blinked at her. She looked as surprised as he was by her outburst. "I mean...the Bronze..." she stammered, suddenly abashed. "Alice--" "No." The new Alice reasserted herself. She looked up at him, defiantly, then looked away and started stuffing her things back into her bag. "We don't have time to go over things. The bad guys are going to show up at the Bronze and kill everyone, remember? We have to go now! We gotta stop them." Giles stared at her, unsure of how to react. The detached, academic side of his mind noticed that Alice's hands were shaking. He tried again. "Alice--" "No! We don't have time for talk! Willow and Jesse, remember? All-you-can-eat at the Bronze, remember? We have to go now!" She was pacing again, shouting, her bookbag swinging from her arm. "We have to stop them from killing everyone! I'm the Slayer, remember? It's my job to protect people!" She turned abruptly towards the door. "I'm going there now." "Alice, wait!" He grabbed at her arm and tried to stop her. "NO!" She spun and pushed him away. Hard. Harder than she intended. Her bookbag hit him square in the chest and knocked all the wind out of him. He stumbled back and fell hard against a chair and sprawled breathlessly on the floor. "Oo-oof...." "Oh, god, Mr. Giles, are you all right?" With an odd sense of deja vu, he found himself looking up at Alice. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. He concentrated on reminding his lungs how to breathe. "Mr. Giles?" In.... Out.... In.... "Mr. Giles!" She was shaking him. Out.... In.... He gave it another try. A strangled sound came out. "Oh, god, Mr. Giles, I'm really sorry. Are you okay? Please say something!" He noticed the panicked tone in her voice and tried harder to get his voice back. He cleared his throat and tried a third time. "I'm all right." His voice sounded reedy, but it would do. "Are you sure you're all right?" He checked himself quickly. Other than a few bumps and bruises where he had hit the furniture and the floor--and the rapidly growing ache in his chest he was doing his best to ignore--this was no worse than anything he'd endured during one of their sparring sessions. "Um...yes. Yes, I think so." "I'm really sorry, Mr. Giles, I didn't mean to push you so hard, really. Are you sure you're okay?" She helped him up and was fussing over him. If anything, she seemed more frantic, now. "Yes, yes. I'm fine, thanks. Alice, stop!" He grabbed at her hands. "Alice. Please! I'm fine. All right?" She stood stock still, staring at his hands holding hers. Her breathing was ragged, her hands shaky, and she didn't resist when he led her back to the table and sat her down. He recognized the signs of shock. Alice had never felt strong emotions, before--Alice was an unusually even-tempered girl--and today she had been hit by some of the strongest: fear, rage, the need for revenge. They had given her that extra edge, that sense of purpose he had wished for her only this morning. She needed the emotions to survive as a Slayer, but she hadn't had time to learn how to control them. He had to tread carefully, lest the emotions take control of her, instead. "Argh?" He blinked, surprised. Not the sound he had planned to make. He saw her mouth twitch a little; almost a smile. Good. Her sense of humor wasn't gone. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Alice?" She didn't look up. Giles realized his mistake. He had always treated her like an equal, a peer, both preparing to face the enemy together. But what he really wanted to do was take her far away from here, away from this madness, to where she could be safe. But he couldn't. Coddling was the last thing she needed right now. He tried another approach. He stood, walked over to the counter, and picked up one of the books. "As I was saying, there are some things we need to go over before we go to the Bronze." His tone was no-nonsense, business-like. He turned his back to her and made a show of looking for the right page. When he turned back, she had composed herself. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but she looked calmer, focused. He walked back to the table and continued his explanation. "I've found out more about this Harvest. There is one vampire in particular, the Vessel, you need to be on the look-out for." "Vessel? What's so special about him?" "He is...um...a middleman, of sorts. The Master uses him as a conduit. Every time the Vessel takes the blood from a victim, the Master feeds off that energy and grows stronger. If the Vessel isn't stopped, the Master will become strong enough to escape into this world." "Okay. So, how do I recognize this Vessel guy?" The determination she'd shown that afternoon was back in her voice and her attitude. "He'll have a mark on his forehead, like this." He pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket and drew a three-pointed design on it as Alice leaned forward to look over his shoulder. She examined the drawing carefully. "Right. So, I'm looking for someone with a Mercedes-Benz logo on his forehead. Shouldn't be hard to miss. Anything else I need to know?" "A Merced--" Giles looked at his design, again. "Yes. "Yes, I suppose it does resemble a Mercedes-Benz logo, in a way. How peculiar. I wonder how--" He noticed that Alice was looking at him, amused. "Ahem. Yes. I suppose I can look it up later, after we get back." She nodded. "Is that is, Mr. Giles?" He realized he was stalling. "Yes. That's all the information I have." "Okay." She grabbed her bag off the floor where she had dropped it and headed for the door. "Let's go." ---------- BETSY VERA * bentley@umich.edu * http://bentley.simplenet.com Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) * * Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style * ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Betsy Vera Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (5/5) Date: 08 May 1998 21:45:23 -0400 (EDT) "Alice, the vampire Slayer" (5/5) ---------- As Giles pulled up in front of the Bronze, they could tell something was wrong. The converted warehouse looked dark and empty. "Is it always this quiet?" he asked her as they looked around. "No, it's not. There are usually lots of kids hanging around out here. This is weird." She sounded worried. "Do you think we're too late, Mr. Giles?" "Let's hope not." "Right." She took a deep breath and went into what she had referred to in the car as "Slayer mode." "Plan A?" "Alice, wait." He was sending her off to battle for the first time and--he had to admit to himself--he was afraid for her. She had the skills and the knowledge, but sparring sessions were not like the real thing. Her fire, her confidence in herself, were still very new. Would she know how to make use of them properly? Would she be able to keep her emotions under control? "Mr. Giles?" He realized she was waiting for his lead. He cleared his throat and pushed his thought aside. "Plan A," he agreed. "And be careful." She grinned. "Thanks, Mr. Giles. Just get the kids out. I'll keep the vampires occupied." She turned and went up the fire escape ladder. -.-.-.-.- The fire exit door didn't have a knob on the outside, so she broke a nearby window and went in. It was dark inside and it took her a few moments to get herself oriented. Something didn't feel right about the place. She was at one end of the walkway that overlooked the dance floor. The walkway was deserted except for the spotlight operator at the other end. He hadn't noticed her. Alice suddenly realized what was wrong. The place didn't *sound* right. There should have been music, sounds of young people dancing and chatting. Instead, she heard...whimpering...moaning? Quietly, so the guy with the spotlight wouldn't hear her, she peeked over the railing. "Oh God!" Realizing she'd said that aloud, she retreated into the shadows. Fortunately, the spotlight guy hadn't heard her. He was too intent on the events on stage. She closed her eyes tight. She didn't want to remember what she'd seen down there. A large, ugly man with a disfigured face had been sucking the blood from a girl's neck, then tossed her body aside like an old chicken bone. *Oh god oh god oh god* She retreated further into the corner and forced herself to calm down. *Breathe.* Okay. There are vampires down there. Real vampires. She had studied so much about them, she'd forgotten she'd never seen one in the flesh, until now. Theory and books were one thing. Real life, on the other hand.... Real life was the Vessel down there, on stage, killing people. Alice felt a surge of...anger...power...*something.* Whatever it was that made her the Slayer. She let the feeling take over. Inside, she was scared stiff. Outside, she knew she had a job to do, and she was ready to do it. Besides, she didn't want to disappoint Mr. Giles. Without a plan in mind, she tiptoed down the stairs and made her way backstage. All those years of "invisibility" were paying off, finally. The Vessel was addressing the crowd. "What? No volunteers?" No one replied. Alice stepped onto the stage, where everyone could see her. "Hey!" The Vessel looked up, surprised. "Who are you?" "I'm the Slayer." She stepped closer to him. "I'm here to stop you." With no other warning, she attacked him. -.-.-.-.- Giles had surprisingly little trouble breaking open the lock of the stage door; he pounded it with one of the large empty metal canisters piled up outside the door. When the lock finally broke, he grabbed his satchel, carefully stocked with crosses, stakes, and bottles of holy water, and went inside. It didn't take his eyes long to adjust to the dim light. There were stairs to his right, leading up. Ahead of him, a series of curtains blocked most of his view of the main floor but didn't prevent him from listening. Giles heard a large number of young voices that sounded frightened and confused. An arrogant, mocking voice addressed them. "What? No volunteers?" The Vessel, Giles guessed. Suddenly, the voice was interrupted. "I'm the Slayer. I'm here to stop you." Recognizing his cue, Giles beckoned to the first group of kids huddling near the door. "Come on, get out. This way." He ushered them out the door. Others noticed and followed. Soon, he was busy getting groups of dazed young people out the door, and could only occasionally listen to the sounds of fighting coming from out on the floor. He could only hope Alice was doing well. Finally, there were no more kids near the door and he had to venture past the curtains to look for more. The curtains opened up onto a large dance floor; a stage to one side, small tables and bar stools to the other. Iron stairs in the back led up to a central walkway that overlooked the whole room. A large group of young people were standing along the edges of the dance floor, guarded by several vampires. Everyone's attention was riveted on the stage. Giles looked over and saw Alice holding her own in a fight against a vampire twice her size--the Vessel, he guessed. Despite the difference in bulk, Alice seemed to be coming out the best in that fight. Her smaller size helped her duck under his swings and sneak in several good punches before the vampire had a chance to avoid them. Giles couldn't help but feel a small thrill of pride at her skill. Suddenly, the Vessel blocked one of Alice's punches, twisted her arm viciously, and knocked her down. "Alice!" Giles started forward to help her when he was abruptly pulled back by the collar and thrown face first against a wall. -.-.-.-.- *Crack!* Alice heard her arm snap where the vampire twisted it behind her back. Before she could scream, he punched her in the head and knocked her down. She dropped to the floor, moaning. *This is not how it's supposed to work. I'm one of the good guys. I'm supposed to win.* She tried to get away from him, but he was toying with her, blocking her way. *I shouldn't be on my knees, crawling. I should be fighting back. It's what the Slayer would do.* But she *couldn't.* She wasn't fast enough, good enough-- The Vessel, tried of playing, reached down and picked her up by her broken arm. The pain seemed to give her new strength. He laughed at her attempts to fight and held her tight, one arm around her waist, pinning her arms against her side, grinding together the broken ends of her bone. His other arm around her neck, he stood up straight, lifting her off her feet, and squeezed. -.-.-.-.- Giles was punched in the stomach and fell to his knees, all the breath knocked out of him. As he gasped for air, Giles heard a woman's voice next to him. "Hello, there. Are you supposed to be the hero?" He was grabbed by the hair again and pulled up to his feet. He sagged against the wall, unable to stay upright, and found himself facing a young-looking female vampire incongruously dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform. "I'll bet you're here to help the Slayer, aren't you, hero?" Giles was too stunned and in pain to do anything but stare at her, blinking away something warm that kept running into his eyes. Dimly, he realized he was bleeding in several places. Suddenly, her face lit up with delight. "Hey, I know who you are! Old guy, hangs out with the Slayer...I bet you're her Watcher." She leaned close to him and whispered in his ear, confidentially. "I like Watchers." To his horror, he felt her lick his ear. "They taste sweet." Feebly, he tried to push her away but she punched him in the stomach again. He nearly passed out as the air was knocked out of his lungs a second time. All that kept him conscious was the pain in his scalp as she dangled him by the hair. Finally, she released him and he fell to his knees, gasping. She knelt down next to him. "Well, guess what? You're too late, hero." She grabbed him by the hair, again, and turned him around to face the stage. The Vessel had Alice in a stranglehold. She was kicking at him and fighting to get loose, but he laughed at her efforts and squeezed harder. Giles watched in despair as he saw her strength failing fast. Finally, Alice slumped in the Vessel's arms, unconscious. The female vampire whispered in Giles' ear. "Look, Watcher, the last thing you'll see. Your Slayer's dying, Watcher? How does it feel? How does it feel to fail, Watcher?" Giles watched, frozen with horror, as the male vampire pulled back Alice's head and exposed her neck. With a triumphant cry, the Vessel bit into the Slayer's neck and drank from her. As in imitation of the events on stage, the female vampire pulled back Giles' head and bit his throat. He felt the life drain out of him, slowly. After too long a time, she withdrew her fangs and gave his throat a final lick. "How does it feel to die, hero?" She let go of him and he slumped to the floor, barely alive. Alive...but aware that he was dying. He was dimly aware of sounds, noises, confusion. ...... Someone tripped over his legs, but he didn't feel it. He heard a scream nearby, far away. ...... A dull thud. A shape appeared next to him. He struggled to focus on it, but failed. ...... Fade to black. ***** "Hey, Giles? Wake up, Giles." Giles woke up abruptly to find Buffy leaning down close to him. "Gaaaah!" The sudden movement gave him a blinding headache. "B-Buffy?" he sat up and groaned. Willow was tugging at the straps of his padded helmet and she was making him dizzy. "Giles, are you okay? I think I knocked you out." He closed his eyes and held his head, unsuccessfully trying to block out the pain. "What happened?" "We were sparring, remember?" "Oh yes. Sparring." Buffy and Willow helped him up to a chair, despite his protestations that he would be fine. "Are you sure you're okay, Giles? You look kinda pale. Can't have a Watcher who's not all right, you know. 'Cause a not all right Watcher is a...not all right Watcher." Giles' fogged mind wasn't up to Buffy's brand of conversation at the moment. Fortunately, Xander chose that moment to return with the snacks and drinks and rescued him. Reassured that Giles was fine, the girls converged on the food while Giles went to his office for aspirin. A short while later, Buffy knocked on his door. "Giles, we're done for today, right?" "Hmm...?" He was sitting at his desk, head buried in his hands. He'd almost fallen asleep. "Giles, you look awful. What time did you go home last night?" "Um..." He wasn't sure. "Thought so. Tell you what. Since I get the evening off, you should get the evening off, too. In fact, you need a vacation. At least one day. I mean it, Giles. When was the last time you spent any time away from the library?" She continued before he could answer. "There, see? You can't even remember." "Buffy--" A voice called Buffy's name from the library. "I gotta go, Giles. We're having Indian movie night at my place. You go home, okay? I mean it." Giles made her a half-hearted promise to leave soon. Not really satisfied with his answer, but knowing it was the best she would get, she left. He sighed. Perhaps Buffy was right. He decided to follow her advice and go home early. But, first, he needed to write in his Watcher's journal. It was one of his daily rituals and, in this time of uncertainty, he took some comfort in the familiar. As he wrote, snatches from his dream flashed through his mind. A dark-haired girl crying in his arms...Willow dead? He removed his glasses and rubbed his temples for a moment. He concentrated on the circular motion of his fingertips as he tried to remember. Was it just a dream? It had seemed so real. Unconsciously, he rubbed at his throat, at the spot where... He blinked. The events of the dream came rushing back to him: The Slayer, dead on stage. "I'm not a superhero, I'm just a kid." His own death. *How does it feel to fail, Watcher?* He frowned. Had he? The Slayer handbook made it clear. The Watcher was there to teach the Slayer. Given the proper guidance and training, the Slayer would succeed. But Buffy had taught him that it wasn't that simple. If training was all it took, anyone could be the Slayer. What was important was the person *inside* the Slayer. Did she have the need, the drive that told her that being the Slayer was what she was here to do? It was the fire within that made the Slayer unique. And to become a successful Slayer, she needed a Watcher who could help her bring out this spirit, could help her learn to control it and use it to her advantage. He was very fortunate to have Buffy as his Slayer. Under his watch, she had blossomed and matured, both as a person and a Slayer. She had come so far since their first day together when, angry and bitter, she had declared that she was retiring as the Slayer. They were going through a bad spot, right now, but they'd get through it together. Despite their differences in age, background, and temperament, Buffy and he made a good team. *How does it feel to fail, Watcher?* He didn't know. With Buffy's help, perhaps he never would. END ---------- BETSY VERA * bentley@umich.edu * http://bentley.simplenet.com Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) * * Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style * ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 8) Date: 08 May 1998 21:30:36 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 8)=20 Dru's father stood outside the carriage as the coachmen helped the two ladies out.=20 Drusilla took a deep breath, or would have, had her corset not been so tight. And the three of them walked through the doors. She was right. The air was suffocating, and the minute they walked through the doors a small group of ladies next to them began gossiping=20 away about Drusilla's outfit. It was going to be a long night. =09 ~ It took him mere minutes to find her. She looked so alone, though she stood in the middle of a large crowed.=20 He could sense her uneasiness and from the looks of it, she didn't quite like balls as much as he thought she might. He politely made his way through the crowed, until he stood next to Drusilla. "Excuse me?" Angelus smiled modestly. All the girls turned towards him, a couple blushed. One girl across from Drusilla, nearly jumped out of her heels as she huddled closer to Angelus. "For give us, sir." She bowed, Drusilla watched her new friend as her refined smile nearly reached her lips and Dru was almost sure her cheeks were going to crack under all the thick powder she had layered on. "We were just so caught up in conversation." The girl purposely blushed Angelus smiled. Quickly throwing his attention to Drusilla, not wanting to get caught up in another girls games=85 Not yet at least. "Would you care to dance?" All the girls stared wide-eyed at Drusilla. Especially her mother. "I-umm" Dru looked down for a moment knowing she was embarrassing herself. She looked up at the handsome stranger "Why thank you, sir" "Angelus" He whispered in her ear as he led her towards the dance floor. "Angelus" She repeated. "My name is Drusilla" =20 Angelus was a very good dancer, she noted. And he was very handsome.=20 He had picked her.=20 The thought made her blush. Out of all the ladies in the room, and in the circle, he had wanted to dance with her. ~ Angelus moved them away from the main dance, wanting only to see her, to touch her, to be with her. He held her as she tried to move away as the dance was going. She looked up confused for a second, then released what he was doing. He looked down at her blushed face, she was so tense. He didn't think to apologize for his actions, instead spoke, "I saw you from afar. You did not seem to be enjoying yourself with the other ladies." Dru blushed for a second. She hadn't been enjoying herself. But she felt warmer now. With a man who was so ravishing, and enjoying of her company "I wasn't not enjoying myself." She spoke of her defense though. Angelus nodded "Of course." "But thank you," She whispered "For taking me away from those women" Angelus laughed. "May I ask, I have not seen you around before? Are you from here?" He shook his head "No, I am just visiting, I was born a couple miles from Prague actually." It was Dru's turn to smile, she followed his steps carefully then inquired "May I ask your last name then?"=20 He thought for a moment. "My given name is Angelus O ' Neil. I'm not much for it though, Angelus is fine" He smiled down at her, the song was ending, but he didn't want to let go of her slim waist.=20 =09 ~=20 =20 Dru didn't really want to stop dancing either. She had no desire to face those women with their chatter and questions, though she wasn't about to impose on a gentleman she had just met. Angelus led her off of the dance floor. =09 "It's suffocating in here." He said with disgust. "Would you care to join me outside? Get a nip of fresh air, before we return?" =09 He had read her thoughts! She was just about to feint for the airless, musty room anyways. She quickly agreed and followed his led outside, looking quickly hoping no one saw. --=20 ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~=20 SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest=20 thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude #6: "Sorry," by Ingrid Date: 08 May 1998 23:37:45 -0400 Disclaimer: in parts 1-13 and Interludes 1-4. Summary: ibid. I'm tired, OK? "Reunion" Interlude # 6: "Sorry" by Ingrid He wasn’t supposed to be crying. It was, as far as he knew, physically impossible. Images of last night (How long had they been down here?) tore through his head at dizzying speeds. He remembered the orb, soft and glowing; remembered focusing all his hate on the gentle beauty as the English voice finished the rhythmic patterns of the chant. Then Willow. He remembered the fury in Xander’s eyes, and his own submission to his irrational demands. Stupid. It had been so stupid. God… what if… He didn’t want to think about it. Willow was dead. That was bad enough. Just leave things as they were. With Buffy crying hysterically because of all that he had done. And him. How the *hell* was he crying? Buffy seemed to sense that he was preoccupied. He heard a sniffle, and let her pull away to examine his countenance. "What is it," she choked, trying to find her voice. "It’s nothing. It’s- I’m crying. I don’t know how…" "What?" She squinted and brushed at the tears on his face. *Oh, Angel.* Then she grabbed him again, reassuring him and herself that this wasn’t just some ridiculous dream. "I’m sorry," he whispered, feeling almost guilty for holding her this way. But whenever he tried to pull away from him, she just tightened her grip. I’m sorry. The words dropped into the water like pebbles, their meaning venturing outward in circles; deepening. I’m sorry. He couldn’t begin to express it. "I know," she answered simply, closing her eyes once more. And she knew. He felt the need to continue. "And the things I said… I didn’t mean-" "Shh.." "I love you why didn’t you kill me you should have killed me." His speech ran together like a lullaby in her ear. She kissed him again. Short, soft kisses on his face and neck. They seemed to be calming her down. She couldn’t answer, but he knew if he turned vamp on her now, she wouldn’t do it. The meaning of it all struck him. That she’d been willing to sacrifice *everything* for a remote chance at getting him back. He loved her, and he wanted to crumple up and die, but he couldn’t- he was crying too much. She’d stopped finally, and began to look around the room with a newborn curiosity. "Angel," how long have we been here? And how exactly did we get here?" "I don’t know," he answered distractedly, too preoccupied with his guilt to really listen. He wanted to die, but he couldn’t leave her. If he left her now, he’d be letting Angelus win, wouldn’t he? All he could do was try to repair everything the vampire had destroyed. He couldn’t repair Theresa, or Jenny, or Willow. Or any of the midnight snacks he’d enjoyed in his more self-indulgent moods. He wanted to die. "It was Friday," she said to herself, smoothing her fingers over his shoulder absently. "Car crash. Spring break. April vacation. It must still be… Why are you bleeding?" "What?" "You’re bleeding. How long have we been here?" She was focused on the gash on his forehead. It hurt when she touched it, and he winced in pain. She kissed him again on the lips gently. Then her eyes brightened. "Note. Over there." Sticking out on the grey floor was a white paper, slightly torn. He pulled himself up. His body screamed in response. "Angel, wait." She clasped his hand and ducked under his arm for support. He leaned on her with most of his weight, trying not to hurt her, but he seemed to be the only one with the unbearable pain. She helped him limp over to the note. Allowing him to steady himself, she reached down and picked it up. "Giles," she acknowledged, and put it down on the table. "His handwriting is so messy. He must be hurt badly." She grimaced. She had her own guilt. "What time is it?" She stumbled to the door and opened it, walking a few feet outside. The sun shone on her hair, illuminating her whole face. She was the angel, he knew. Something ached inside him. Suddenly, Buffy clutched at her leg and began to fall. Automatically, he flew outside the door and into the sun. He caught her, and felt the warmth strike his back. In a revelation of sorts, it descended upon him. Sun is death. He waited. Nothing happened. **** END, Interlude # 6 "Thanks for letting me know. I really hadn't noticed I'd had circles under my eyes today. Maybe it had something to do with me not sleeping last night- I don't know- maybe." _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (15/?) by Ingrid Date: 09 May 1998 10:25:04 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: More fun with Willow the vampire. This takes place ten years into the future, but I’m not telling you what’s happened in advance. I’m going to reveal that as time goes on in the story. I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway! My address is Ingrid29@juno.com. If you don’t get this, that’s because you haven’t read the other parts. If you want to get this, ask me for them! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Fifteen: "A Friend from the Shadows" ********* Cordelia’s eyes shot open as soon as the girl turned around. She looked like a sacrificial lamb standing there, white and shaking, her eyes piercing and tragic. Too much to bear, Cordelia thought. Outside, she was brilliant as a freshly-minted penny, but inside she seemed rotting; tiredness corroded her green from within. There was something about her, that even in Xander’s arms, she’d looked alone; apart, and haunted. "Willow." She knew. They both knew she was a vampire without saying the words. "I don’t know." She sat down on the bottom stair, all her energy having flown. "I heard about Spike’s plan. I need… I want," she corrected, "to help you. If you’ll let me." "Of course," Xander assured her, resting a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. Cordelia ignored the sinking feeling in her chest, and turned to the door. "Willow, we could definitely use your help, but I think there’s someone you’ll want to see first." Willow stood. She looked puzzled, but let Cordelia guide her into the room. Cordelia winced. She’d never been this close to a vampire before. She felt the demon throbbing like a heart would. Willow felt like air against her and more drifted than walked. She saw Buffy and Angel both jerk their heads from what they’d been reading together. Buffy backed against the couch and Angel looked completely stunned. Cordelia led Willow to the couch. She sat down almost demurely. "We don’t know how," but she’s here to help, Cordelia explained. Buffy let out a breath sharply, and couldn’t stop the tears. She ran to Willow and embraced her. Willow was shaken. She wasn’t sure how to handle all this at once. Worse yet, she could feel her friend’s heart pumping blood so close. It was driving her crazy; everyone around the room was a source of heat moving about slowly, temptingly. She looked at Angel across the room. Her killer. He was looking appropriately guilty. The trouble was, she couldn’t seem to sense anything from him. She should have felt him. She could always feel the presence of other vampires…unless… Unless Buffy had gotten there with the orb, and the "permanent" curse had worked better than they’d thought. Buffy let her go and wiped the wetness from her cheeks, waiting for Willow to speak. She didn’t wait long. "Buffy, I’ve been…well, underground, with the vampires and all, finding out things. I knew something was up, but nothing as big as I found." "You know about Spike?" "Yeah. I know about Spike. Buffy, he’s insane. Absolutely, completely insane. And he’s out to get you. He wants more than to kill you. He wants to make you pay." *** END, part 15 _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 9) Date: 09 May 1998 22:38:44 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 9) =09 The fresh air did wonders for Drusilla, and she felt more like herself with out all the women poking around her making her feel like a child again. But she was nervous, sitting outside with a man whose name she barely knew ~ Angelus worried for a minute that he was moving to fast. But quickly dismissed it, had he been moving to fast, she'd not be outside with him now. No, he was going at the right pace, and now he was glad to finally be alone with his Drusilla. "I hope you do not think me uncivil for asking you out here" He began "But it was so shrouded inside, and I'm not much for theses festivities." =09 She was happy, the tension was finally beginning to wear off her, that and she had finally met someone else who hated these events as much as she. =20 =09 "Not at all." Drusilla agreed "I've only come for my mothers sake. I'd most happily be out here with you than inside." She didn't miss Angelus' delighted smile =09 "Your mother? Which is she?" Angelus walked further out to sit under a large chestnut tree, leading Dru father from the castle "Lady Hurst?"=09 Angelus nodded "ahh, yes. You mother is quite ravishing" "Thank you" =09 She was almost totally relaxed, Angelus was easy to get on with and she was so glad to be in the night air. Feeling reborn again, happy to see someone actually taking some interest in her own personality.=20 "You said your only visiting? How long will you be here," Dru blushed for a second realizing her forwardness "If I may ask." "You needn't say that. Ask me what you will, I should be here for a couple months. More or less as time allows" There was a pause as they sat in silence, peacefully enjoying the night air. Angelus cleared his throat and spoke up.=20 "May I call apon you? Sometime? Your company has been so great, I would hate to never see you again" Drusilla smiled. "Oh, please do. It will be so wonderful to have someone other than my sister to talk with--" The minute she said it, she regretted it. Angelus smiled, as though to say, don't worry about it. "You sister? Is she here tonight?"=20 He had said the words, but knew she wasn't here. She'd be at the house, along with all of the servants and nurses. He wondered if Dru had found the dead puppy he had left laying on the swings.=20 "No" Drusilla Laughed "My sister, Lydia, is only seven. She'd have a worse time here than any of us." "Yes, she would" Angelus whispered to Dru. There was another long pause, and Drusilla turned to look at the people inside the ball, dancing. "We should be getting back=85"She said. "Yeah" Angelus agreed, not about to get up out of his comfortable position. =09 ~ Drusilla felt uncomfortable again, with this man, they really should be getting back before they were missed. "Angelus?" She asked, wondering if he was still paying attention "Hmm?" He replied, focusing his eyes on hers. "We should be getting back" She repeated.=09 Angelus looked at her face. The wind was lightly blowing strands of her hair, away from the lavish design she had it in. She had that sweet, innocent, lost look on her face=85 "Yes, we should," Angelus said standing up. "But... First" He stood, towering over her, looking down apon her face, gently taking her chin in his hands and kissed her lips. She gasped suddenly pushing away from him. "Forgive, Drusilla" He apologized, "I shouldn't be so forward. But you're so beautiful." He moved closer to her, trying to fill the gap she had created. She made no move to back away. He took this as a good sign. =09 Dru's heart told her to kiss him, that his lips on her oddly felt right, and good. But her head told her no. That he was just a man trying to take advantage of her. Still, her body made no move to back away from him,=20 "Forgive me Drusilla" He smiled down at her. She took a deep breath and smiled back. He was forgiven. --=20 ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~=20 SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest=20 thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS:Charlotte Sometimes (Part 9) Date: 10 May 1998 11:34:33 -0400 I like it. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Notes in prep for posting Date: 10 May 1998 11:55:08 EDT Okay...I finished something of a novella last week, and I've been revising, etc, all week long. I'm going to be posting it at the rate of one or two chapters a day, as interest dictates-- which means, if people want to see more or less of it at a time, they've gotta _tell_ me. I'll be sending out the prologue in about twenty minutes, because I need to change the format, etc. Anyway. This is definately the biggest undertaking I've had in the Buffyverse, and I'm extremely, extremely eager to hear about how I've done. So _please_, if you only ever comment to me on _one_ thing I've written (not that you can't do more and I don't REALLY hope you do more!), make this that one? Thanks all, and the prologue will hit mailboxes in a few minutes, Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Prologue Date: 10 May 1998 12:01:52 EDT Feedback: YES! I cannot express how desperately I want feedback on this one! Distribution: Not without my *express* permission. Notes: This story has a prologue and 13 chapters, which makes numberings difficult. Please grant me a slight amont of latitude, until I get some sort of workable system going. Thank you. Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. ~ "Part Zero: In the Beginning..." Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: November 24th, 2002, Late Night. She was shivering. The night was cold, and Buffy Summers was freezing. Her stakes were behind a gravestone a few feet away, and instead of them, she clutched a black candle tight in her hand. There was a zippo lighter with a broken heart on it in the other-- she'd seen it earlier in the week and been unable to resist the irony. Four years, and they had been far too long. It had come time for there to be an end to things as they stood, and Buffy was ready to meet her destiny, whatever that was going to be. Four years were too long to have been living with a broken heart. Angelus. She could feel him, coming closer by the second. He knew she was out here. She swallowed, fighting back the sudden nausea that rose up inside her when she thought of him. The _thing_ in her love's body, the _thing_ that had kept them apart for so long. She'd kill it, tonight. She took a breath, closing her eyes and concentrating on the feelings of everything around her. Energy was pulsing through this place, and if she tuned herself carefully enough, she could draw the thin connections between objects. Her Slayer's sense would be able to pick out exactly where he was, as soon as he came close. She took a breath, sipping in the clear, cold air. Wondering how much longer it was going to be before Angelus arrived, wondering if she would forget the incantation at the last moment, wondering all manner of things as she waited. Out of nowhere, she heard a hiss, and a large mass rammed her to the ground. The zippo and the candle flew from her hands and into the grass, and Buffy found herself staring up into Angelus' cold, cruel eyes, her wrists pinned to the ground above her head. "Buffy," Angelus snarled, a pseudo-sympathetic expression on his face, "I'm sorry, but I think this game of cat-and-mouse has gone on long enough." His lips twisted into a sort of grin. "I heard you were planning on cursing me again tonight." He shook his head. "Sorry, babe. Ain't gonna happen." Then his smile widened slightly. "However...I did think maybe I could give _you_ something." Struggling through his words, Buffy was trying to squirm loose. But in the years since he'd been re-possessed, Angelus' strength had increased-- and now she had to admit, she might be in over her head. But all she needed was that candle, and the lighter... Angelus took a moment to reposition her arms, and now he was holding them down with one hand. Buffy struggled harder, knowing something was wrong-- she should have been able to break this grip, and yet she could barely move. He pulled a small cardboard figure out of the back pocket of his jeans, and it took Buffy a moment to realize it was wrapped in black ribbon. "See this?" he asked. "Know what it means?" She glared up at him, trying to work her legs up to a point where she would have the leverage to force him off her and get back up. "I've bound you," he said, his tone almost an academic one. "That means you can't fight me, Buffy. You don't have a chance." He leaned in and smiled. "Isn't that lovely?" She glared up. "Fucking beautiful," she snapped. "Liar." He rolled his eyes. "Buffy, come _on_," he said. "Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that you've broken out of grips like this. I could get up and we could fight again, if you want me to prove it to you." There was a smirk on his face as he said the words. "Major turn on, you know." "Fine," she said, glaring. "So let me up, and we'll see." He appeared to consider for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah. It'll be much more exciting the way I've got things planned." Slipping the figure back into his pocket, he slid his free hand down her throat, pushing her head to one side. To her horror, Buffy found she was powerless to stop him. There was a sharp laugh as Angelus saw comprehension dawning in her expression. Then he bent down and affixed his fangs to her throat. The moment his fangs penetrated her flesh, Buffy realized she was in trouble, and in it deep. His lips had locked against her, and she could feel him slowly draining her. After a few seconds, she began to feel lightheaded, and it was only then that Angelus pulled away from her, blood trickling from the corner of his lips. He smiled down on her, stroking her hair with one hand. "See, Buffy?" he asked. "We can be together now, you know." "In your dreams," she hissed, but she could barely make her eyes focus on him. "Every night," he chuckled. Then he let her hands go completely and, still sitting on her, pulled a knife from his jacket, making a swipe across his wrist. "Time for Buffy to have a little snack," he said. Buffy tried to twist away, but succeeded only in getting her hand behind the gravestone where she had placed the stakes. She swallowed hard as Angel reached down toward her, and shut her mouth tight. The vampire was too busy pinning her nose closed with the hand that was holding the knife to realize she had pulled one of the stakes out. Had Buffy not been ready to faint from lack of both blood and oxygen, she probably wouldn't have done what she did. But she was, and she couldn't think clearly enough to stop herself. If Angelus hadn't been so intent on turning her into a vampire, he would have seen the stake earlier. As it was, neither realized what the Slayer was doing until the stake connected with Angelus' chest, driving through once-- and missing his heart. Buffy jerked it back out as she heard Angelus howl in pain. She felt something cold and hot slice through her throat, then drive itself into her belly, and the last thing she felt before the darkness took her was the stake finding its target and then falling onto her gut as the pressure there suddenly lightened and disappeared. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (2/2) Date: 10 May 1998 12:11:53 EDT This is the second half of the first chapter, as the entire chapter was more than 250 lines. Please send all comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. If you miss any parts, please e-mail me and I will send them to you privately. ~ Place: Chase Residence. Time: May 19th, 1:34 p.m. Three sharp knocks on the door and a few seconds' wait, then the door started to open. Xander held his breath. He didn't know what he was expecting. What could have changed about Cordelia, after all? She would, Xander was sure, still be the shallow, petty, spiteful, gorgeous good-kisser-and-then-some she'd been when he'd left Sunnydale after receiving news of Buffy's death. Then the door was open and she was standing there, in front of him. She'd gained a little weight, though she was still on the slender side. Her hair was down, framing her face, and she was wearing a trendy but plain blouse with a matching pair of slacks. Their eyes fell upon each other, and for a moment Xander wondered if it had been more than the decade he remembered since they had last spoken-- she'd changed that much. There was an air of maturity about her that hadn't been in the Sunnydale U fashion- design major he'd broken an engagement with. "Xander?" she asked. "My God, you haven't changed at all!" He managed a weak smile. "Don't say that, I'd hate to think I looked like this ten years ago." She smiled slightly, standing aside and motioning for him to come in. "I made lunch," she said. He raised an eyebrow. Cordelia, cooking? "Is it safe to eat?" "It's fine. Salad and sandwiches," she replied, moving into the kitchen, which connected to the dining room. Her tone was a joking one, but there was still an uneasy edge to it. "So," he said quietly, following her. His eyes moved over every piece of furniture and wall hanging he passed. Cordelia's taste hadn't changed a bit-- the house was beautifully decorated. "So," she echoed, her eyes lingering on him for a few seconds. Then she cleared her throat and gestured to the dining room table. "Have a seat?" He nodded and sat, and Cordelia quickly placed a plate in front of each of them. She seemed to be watching him, he soon noticed. Though he supposed he could sit and eat, and pretend not to notice...it might be better to find out why she couldn't seem take her eyes off him. Figure out if she hated him for having left, hated him for coming back, or hated him for any other particular reason. He was about to say something when her lips parted and she spoke. "How's things?" she asked. He shook his head, taking a sip of water. "Wouldn't you rather start out with a question that has a slightly less depressing answer?" There was a slight, uneasy smile. "Okay. Where have you _been_ all this time?" Xander shrugged. "Los Angeles," he said. "I transferred my credits to UCLA and majored in communications. I'm working with a few friends on an indie radio station." Cordelia laughed slightly. "And I bet that pays well." He shook his head good-naturedly. "Nah. Anna-Marie's the breadwin--" He broke off abruptly, realizing what he was saying and who he was saying it to. Cordelia's expression was one of confusion. "Anna-Marie?" "My...wife." He hoped. If she wasn't completely disgusted by the way her husband let himself be ruled by the past, let his memories guide every choice he made. God, what was he going to do when he went home and the house was empty? What if he didn't solve whatever problems it was he was having while he was here and had the chance, and she never came home? What if he never saw the kids again? Because, he was sure, Anna-Marie would do her damndest to make sure he had little-to-no contact with Nina and Elliot, if it came to the point where she honestly decided to divorce him. It wasn't until he saw Cordelia watching him with a questioning expression that Xander realized he had ceased paying attention to her. "Sorry," he said briefly. "Didn't mean to drift. I..." But the words to explain weren't there. "I shouldn't have left," was what came out instead. After a few silent, almost stunned seconds, his ex-fianc‚ sighed. "Xander," Cordelia said quietly, I'm not...upset." She said it in a tone that implied she was, but didn't want it to get in the way of things. He glanced up, almost surprised that she had hit on things so quickly. "Why not?" he asked. She shrugged. "Time's passed, for one. It's been too long since I saw you to keep from realizing that you didn't have any other choice when you left." "I could have--" "No you couldn't have," Cordelia interrupted. "We both know, you weren't in love with me, anyway. You were in love with Buffy, I was a convenient object for you to focus your attentions on when you realized she wasn't going to reciprocate." Dumbfounded by Cordelia's perceptiveness, Xander stared. "I always knew you loved her," Cordelia continued softly. "In a lot of ways, the first thing I felt when I found out about her was relief, that I wouldn't have to worry about her taking you away from me anymore." Xander stared in surprise, but Cordelia must not have noticed him, because she kept speaking. "Not that it was anything I had ever needed to worry about," she continued, "but I didn't realize that till later, when Willow reminded me that Buffy was too intent on saving Angel to try and take..." She trailed off, her voice fading in her throat. Hearing the names, spoken aloud for the first time in so many years, Xander shook his head. "Cordelia..." She shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to please let her finish. "I scattered his ashes on her grave," Cordelia whispered. His eyes widened slightly. "You what?" "She had asked me to," Cordelia said quietly. "Because she didn't think any of you would be willing, if things didn't go the way she was planning--" Xander stared for another moment. "You--" Tears were forming in Cordelia's eyes as she looked at him. "I..." "You knew." For a moment, the only response was a slow nod. "I couldn't blame any of you for anything because she told me what she was going to do," Cordelia said, her voice back to a whisper so soft Xander could barely hear her. "My God..." Xander said, stunned by the revelation. "Cordelia..." "She made me promise not to tell any of you," Cordelia whispered. "I...except for Willow, you're the only other one who knows..." Xander's stomach was doing a tumbling routine in his gut as Xander stared, slowly rising from his seat. "I have to go," he said softly. "No!" Cordelia said quickly, rising. "Xander, please--" "You could have stopped her," he said quietly. "God _damn_ it, Cordelia, you could have said something and we could have stopped her from--" "I couldn't!" Cordelia broke in, her voice sounding somewhere near desperate now. "Xander, you don't understand, she never confided in me and I couldn't break my word because she never would have again, and--" "She _didn't_!" Xander was surprised by the force of his own voice, and from the way Cordelia shrank back from him he had the feeling she was, too. "She _died_ because we didn't know!" There was a moment of silence, and Cordelia just shook her head, wordlessly. Then, a soft whisper. "Maybe you should go," she said. Xander looked at Cordelia for a moment, all the pain and loneliness and aching he'd battled all morning rushing back as the anger fled. What had he been thinking? It wasn't Cordelia's fault, it wasn't any of their faults, Buffy hadn't-- "Now," Cordelia broke in, her voice quivering. Xander looked at her for a moment, wondering if there was any way he could communicate the pain he felt at her words and the shame at the recollection of his own. But he could tell it was already too late. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, and for the second time in as many hours he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for. He only knew the apology was as sincere as he could have hoped to be. "I'll go." He was halfway down the front walk when he heard the door slam shut behind him. Not letting himself look back, he climbed into his car, pulled the door shut behind him, stepped on the gas pedal, and drove away. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (1/2) Date: 10 May 1998 12:11:46 EDT See Prologue for notes and disclaimers. All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. Beginning w/this chapter, any chapter that is more than 250 lines will be labeled in the following manner: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter # -- (?/?). In other words, chapter one will be two posts long. If you miss any parts, please e-mail me off-list and I will send them to you privately. ~ "Part One: Future Imperfect" //I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again.// -James Taylor, "Fire and Rain" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: May 19, 2012. The clear, cold air brushed his face as Xander Harris stepped up to a large marble headstone. He shut his eyes for a few seconds, wondering what had happened that he had been driven back here after so long. He had thought he'd put Sunnydale behind him. His eyes fell to the grass, and he felt his chest constrict as he crouched and brushed the blades with one palm-- the other was holding a single yellow rose, which he'd bought on his way here. The grass was soft, tickling his flesh. He almost smiled. Then his eyes returned to the grave marker, and he choked again. He pushed himself to his feet and stepped carefully over the grave so he was nearer to the headstone. Buffy Summers. Daughter and Friend. 1981-2002. The words, written in cold marble, seemed so inadequate, to describe the vibrant, charming, fierce, wonderful young woman Xander had known. He had never meant to come back here. He'd thought it would be too painful, and he'd been right. His wife, an English professor at UCLA, had left with their two children for the summer-- and possibly a great deal longer, leaving him with nothing to do but sit and brood and finally accept Willow's invitation to visit. Anna-Marie had said something about how she was getting tired of hearing about Buffy Summers and wonderful Sunnydale, and if it was so amazingly incredible, then why hadn't he tried visiting the girl's grave for once in his life? Then she had packed up and gone, on a trip to her mother's that was going to last the whole summer break. Taking Nina and Elliot with her. "I can't help it," he'd told her as her car had been pulling out of the driveway, her window rolled down just enough for him to speak. "That was a big part of my life." "But it's _over_ now, Alex," she'd replied, her tone a bitter one. "It's over and I want you to move on so you can be my _husband_ again." When Willow had called the next day, asking if he could come for a visit, what could he do but accept the invitation? She had been trying to convince him to come back to visit her for years, but he'd never accepted. She had been overjoyed when he'd finally accepted. She had wanted to take him to the grave herself, this morning, but he had told her he wanted to have time to be alone with their dead friend. It was funny, he supposed, because he had never thought about how brief Buffy's life would most likely be when they had become friends. But it made sense, given the Slayer's lifestyle. Even so. He was still staring at the headstone an hour later, and he hadn't said a word. Finally, realizing it was coming near lunch and he had another visit to make, he took the rose from the damp paper towel he'd wrapped it in, and laid it across the head of Buffy's grave. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Sorry I waited so long. Sorry for so many things. Wherever you are now, I hope you know that." There was no answer from beyond the grave, and Xander knew he hadn't sincerely expected, or hoped for one. Still, it was all he could do to keep from looking back as he walked to his car, then drove away from the cemetery. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 10) Date: 10 May 1998 11:31:05 -0700 Here's another shorty for all you people who AREN'T giving me feedback. C'mon, there's gotte be more than 10 people on this list! Charlotte Sometimes (Part 10) Angelus kicked his feet up on the large house, he had stolen from the previous owners. Not so much stolen, as claimed. It's not like they'd need it now, where they were. Over and over he licked his lips, remembering soft lips, and shivering body.=20 Desire was ruining all his plans. The timing had been set off, his balance had fallen so to speak and he longed to see her again. Tonight perhaps, she'd be at mass, she'd asked him to go with her, but he had other plans=85 Decisions, decisions. ~ "Dru! Dru! Wake up Dru! Dru!"=20 Drusilla groaned as her little sister continued to bang on the door screaming her name. She wondered where the nurses where, shouldn't they be watching the child? Drusilla got up to open the door, when she passed the mirror. She still had a ton of powder on her face. And her hair was tangled all around her, she hadn't even bothered to wash or braid it. She'd been up all night thinking of Angelus.=20 She could still feel him holding her, kissing her, his voice was fresh in her mind. "Dru! Come on Drusilla! Wake up! Dru!"=20 Drusilla rolled her eyes and opened the door a little "Dru?" Lydia said, as she looked at her sister "You look awful"=09 Drusilla began to close the door "Wait! Dru! When will you be down? Will you come with me, I picked fresh flowers and we're gonna go lay them on Reggie's grave" Drusilla smiled at her sister. "I'll go with you in a minute. Let me get ready first, all right?" Lydia smiled and bounced around running down the stairs to tell her mother that Dru would be going Drusilla shut the door, and humming happily to herself went to bathe herself before meeting her sister down stairs. --=20 ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~=20 SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest=20 thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 11) Date: 10 May 1998 11:46:52 -0700 Okay, okay. I think this makes 2 shorties in a row... But the next part is longer. Promise! Charlotte Sometimes (Part 11) The three of them filed into the large house. Isabelle and her husband with hands linked together and walked in the house, and Drusilla carried little Lydia. "Madam!" Came the voice of Lydia's nurse and Dru's former. "Shhh!" Drusilla hissed angrily, soon changing to a smile as she eyed out Lydia as though to tell the nurse not to wake her up. "Oh! heh, sorry madam" the nurse whispered. "You've gotten a letter" "A letter? From who?" Asked Isabelle. Drusilla watched her father go up the stairs, rolling his eyes and bobbing his head as he knew his wife would go into fanatics over the stupid letter, gossiping and telling all the ladies in the country, the world would know by noon, 'Drusilla's gotten a letter!' Drusilla took the letter, gently shifting Lydia in her arms, and opened the letter with her mother peering over her head. 'Dearest Drusilla, I'm very sorry I could not meet with you for mass tonight. Matter of most urgent business has arisen. I would Be honored if you would meet me later tonight, perhaps In front of the church? I will be waiting. I will understand if you choose not To meet me. Angelus O'Reily "Drusilla!? What is the meaning of this?" Drusilla was about to make up some excuses of meeting this gentleman at the ball, and not wanting to go unsure of his intentions, when her mother continued "I didn't know you have any friends. Well, male friends. Why have I not met him? Angelus.. what a splendid name, who is he?" "I... umm.. that is, he's" Drusilla had to take a deep breath before she continued "I met him at the dance, those past few days." Isabelle's eyes lit up as she remembered the handsome man that had spent nearly the entire night with her Dru. ~ Drusilla timidly looked at her mother, her unsure voice asking if she may go to meet him tonight. "If his intentions are well, Dru. You may go" She said, holding her daughters arms. Drusilla took a deep breath, thinking for a minute then smiled up at her worrying mother. "Yes, I believe he means well." "Then go" Isabelle softly laughed, knowing her daughter wanted to met this gentleman "Have fun Drusilla, and do not stay out to late, I fear the streets are not safe, even with a man at your side" Drusilla smiled as she gave Lydia to the nurse, so that she may tuck her in for the night. She quickly went outside and called the coachman. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 12) Date: 10 May 1998 12:12:53 -0700 okay, I made it all long and pretty, meaning it's the last part of the day. Have a good Mommies day! Charlotte Sometimes (part 12) Angelus could hear her slowly approaching carriage. One of the many gifts he loved about being a vampire. Keen hearing. He began to pace back and forth. He was doing it again, moving to quickly. His timing was being set off by his desire to be with her. Angelus cursed his weakness. He would move slower. As soon as he saw her. As soon as he had her heart, he wanted her love. He needed her to love him before he could do anything, before he could go on... ~ Drusilla saw him, standing in the rain, waiting for her. He looked a bit worried at first, until he saw her carriage pull up. The light in his eyes amazed her, as she waited patiently for the coachman to open the door and help her out. She wanted to run to him, soaked in the rain, and twirl in circles wrapped in his arms, but refused to portray herself as some crazed lady. He rapidly approached her, taking his hand in hers, kissing the top of her small hand as it lay in his. "Drusilla," he smiled, instead of saying hello. "I'm so very glad you've come" Drusilla nodded "Thank you for inviting me." Drusilla motioned for the coachman to leave, and they waited in silence until the horse's footstep could not be heard. There gaze met each others, and they stared into each other, neither noticing the rain. Angelus squeezed Drusilla's hand ~ Death! He reeked of it! Murder, Lust, torture. Blood! So much blood! It was everywhere dripping around him. Drusilla grabbed her hand back, shaking her head at him. She stumbled backwards trying to escape what she saw. It was Angelus that caught her as she went falling backwards. "Are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned as she looked at him with fear widened eyes. This struck a cord within him. He almost lost himself as he gazed at her fearing face, as though he had just tried to kill her, or hurt her in someway. He wasn't sure if her should pout or moan, so he stood still, looking at her with worried eyes. Drusilla pulled away from him. The Angel! The Angel she had seen just days before! This was him, she was sure, but now he was drenched in blood. The angel, it look like an angel of death now, with sharp, sharp teeth like those of Reggies. Drusilla looked at him, but she couldn't hardly see, everything was red. ~ "Shhhh" she heard his voice whisper in her ear, and she felt her body as it stopped shaking. "What's wrong Dru? Tell me. What's wrong?" He asked looking at his victim with shocked eyes. The vision had stopped as suddenly as it had started, and Drusilla found her self leaning against Angelus' well muscled chest, tears in her eyes, running down her cheeks. "Oh God! Angel." She whispered into his clothing her chest heaving as she panted with exhaustion from the vision Angelus stopped and smiled down at her. 'Angel' he thought, if anything he was, it defiantly was not an angel. It took Drusilla a moment to pull herself together, her tears stopped, and slowly she caught her ragged breath. "I-I.." Drusilla started as she stuttered to her feet. She turned to look into Angelus' eyes, still leaning against him a bit. "I'm sorry." She said, rain drops pouring down her face, camouflaging her tears. Angelus shook his head. "No need for an apology." He said softly "What was it the shook you up so much?" Drusilla couldn't separate her eyes from his. But she couldn't tell him the truth. That she saw him, in a vision. That she saw him as a demon. "Nothing... I'm just feeling ill tonight" ~ He didn't buy it for a minute. Whatever I was that had his Dru so scared, had come from him. Though, she didn't look like she wanted to talk of it... Oh well, he'd find out soon or later. "Well then, lets get you out of the cold." He smiled looking down towards her. Drusilla allowed him to led her through the forest to a small house less than a mile from the church. Drusilla looked around the small cottage for a minute before wisked away inside the house. It was small, it had a beautiful garden in the front. She thought for a minute. Unless Angelus was a gardener.. he might be married.. There was a small windmill over a creek and large overgrown grass. Angelus led her inside the open house and sat her on a nearby sofa, covering her feet with an oversized and fluffy afghan. Dru looked towards the ground frowning. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to - back there, I didn't want to--" "Shhhh" Angelus told her again "It doesn't matter." Drusilla knew it did matter. She had made a complete freak of herself in front of him. He surely must be regretting inviting her here. Dru looked around the house. It was completely furnished, and looked very lovely, cozy. "I, asked you here, because I wanted to talk" Angelus said slowly, almost shyly. Dru was glad she wasn't the only one feeling timid about being in a strangers house. He was modest to have her here. Drusilla smiled up at him. "That sounds wonderful." ~ He had meant to ease her fears. She looked so timid, hiding in her cloak, like he might harm her. Not tonight. He vowed. No harm would come to his fair Drusilla tonight. He wanted her trust. He valued it amongst all things at this point. Her complete trust that he would... Will be there for her, should she need him. "Tell me about yourself. You said you had a sister? -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude #7: "Sun Bathing" Date: 10 May 1998 16:01:21 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Spike, Xander, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: I’ve decided to help explain the past through a series of interludes that will be interspersed throughout the story as it goes on. This series is meant as a companion to "Reunion." (The flashbacks take place about 9 years beforehand.) If you haven’t read "Reunion," this won’t make much sense to you. If you don’t have parts 1-13 of it, you can write to me and request them. DEDICATED to all the Xander/Cordy junkies out there- Please tell me I’m not the only one! "Reunion" Interlude # 7: "Sun Bathing" by Ingrid He woke up with that placid lazy feeling, his muscles itching to stretch themselves. Something had happened. Willow had died. His eyes, and his lungs felt tired and refreshed, as if he’d been crying. And Cordelia was curled against him like a cat in the sun, her head tucked up under his chin, resting at his neck. He looked at the clock for grounded- something that wasn’t moving in warm golden waves like the scene before him was; unreal. Eleven o’clock. She was holding him tightly, one hand clutching at his T-shirt near his side, the other arm resting behind his neck. Relaxed and unconscious, she lost that hint of malice she carried with her during her waking hours. She needed to evaluate so she could defend herself. He’d never seen her asleep. He wanted to wake her. He wanted to see what she looked like in the morning when she first opened her eyes- the light there before consciousness dawned and reality solidified. He wanted to see pools of feeling, exposed and deep, and quiet and calm. He whispered her name. She was blank sheet of paper now, he thought, as he watched her respond to the stimulus, stirring gradually. The eyelids lifted, and the eyes dilated. The warmth from outside was soaking them, pleasantly baking the bed in heat. And then he saw the sun rise in her. She woke up. Looking pleasantly puzzled at first. Then consciousness returned. "Xander," she acknowledged, that look of uncertainty returning. He didn’t really know what he wanted to say to her. He wanted to do something she didn’t expect. He wanted to make her see how different things were now. He wanted her to love him. He smiled and brushed her cheek with his fingers. She returned it, her eyes tearing slightly. He kissed her and pulled her closer. She wrapped her silk arms around him and kissed him back. Her breath was light and airy on his face. She was his. He was hers. "I love you." The words slipped out between kisses, soft and breathy. Those burning eyes were running now, pools of something flooding, filling, and leaking out. Her brow creased in pain and she lay her head on the pillow. "I love you," she returned, choking on the words. He pulled her to his chest. *** END, part 7. "I have no doubt in my mind that there is a circle of hell dedicated solely to forcing its inhabitants to write research papers." _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cloaked in Darkness 4/? Date: 10 May 1998 16:41:42 PDT TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and The Master gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! Although it starts off a bit rocky, but I assure you they will end up together in this one! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till 'Prophesy Girl' here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, say just after the 'Angel' episode and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ Chapter 4: Of A Jealous Nature "Come back here you...!" Buffy shouted, trying to keep up and someone was suddenly running beside her, she knew it was Angel without looking and was unreasonably annoyed. "I don’t need your help Angel" she panted, glaring at his form as he gracefully ran beside her, reminding her sharply of a panther on the hunt. "Sure you don’t, but there are two of them. Don’t be stupid Buffy and let me help" Angel growled as he assumed his vampire face, Buffy had opened her mouth to retort but then thought better of it as they caught up to the vampires. They had stopped near a tree and Buffy flung a stake at the closest reflexively, it almost got him but the vampire ducked and she swore softly as she and Angel went into battle. Buffy could hear Angel fighting next to her as she repeatedly punched the young vampire, he couldn’t have been more than a week old. Buffy didn’t feel at all sorry for him though and knocked him backwards, straight onto the stake that was planted into the tree. The vampire exploded into dust and Buffy turned to see how Angel was faring, her eyes widened when she saw that he was fighting THREE vampires and they had gotten pretty far away from her as he had fought them. "Where’d they come from, Arrgggggh!" she screamed as someone tackled her from behind and she hit the ground hard. "Buffy!" Angel called, even as busy as he was, he was still worried about her and Buffy’s heart melted. The vampire hit her while she was thinking and her face thumped hard into the dirt. He rubbed it in and she thrashed around, trying to get dirt and grass out of her mouth, she kicked backwards and connected. The vampire grunted with pain and fell off of her, Buffy rolled to her feet and pulled out another stake, thrusting it angrily into his chest and watching with satisfaction as he was dusted. She brushed the dirt out of her face and spat the grass out, turning to help Angel. He had finished all but one and didn’t see yet another sneaking up behind him, Buffy screamed as the vampire reached Angel’s unprotected back and Buffy was too far away to help. "Angel!" she called despairingly, he tossed the vampire before him towards Buffy but it clung to one of his arms, pulling Angel to his knee’s. The other vampire had the stake that Buffy had used on the first vampire in his hands, raised over Angel’s back and ready to thrust home. Buffy ran fast than she ever had and tried but she knew she wouldn’t reach him in time. As she went to leap at the vampire the bright moonlight went out and Buffy heard thunder crash loudly in the suddenly stormy sky. It was enough to stop all three vampires and Buffy and she gaped as a vicious wind howled through the park and beat at them, Buffy saw everything clearly as if through a dream. The first vampire was laying at Angel’s feet, digging sharp claws into his arm so that Angel couldn’t rise from his half crouch. The second was leaning over Angel’s unprotected back with the stake raised but the sudden unpredictable weather had momentarily shocked them all. A huge thunderclap shook the earth and Buffy stumbled, looking up in time to see twin bolts of lightning shoot down from the sky and land squarely on both vampires. Angel was still attached by the vampires grip and Buffy screamed in horror as the vampire’s smoked, consumed by the lightning that raced through every part of their bodies. Her vision was obscured for a moment until their hideous wailing’s of agony had finally stopped and they turned to dust. Angel was lying on the ground and Buffy reached his side in record time, pulling him up and babbling hysterically. "Angel? Angel speak to me, are you hurt? Oh god!" Buffy shrieked over the wind, Angel moaned and put a hand to his head, standing with Buffy’s help and they both looked up when the wind died away abruptly. The Thunder faded as did the clouds and they were staring at an again calm night, the moon shining brightly down upon their stunned faces. "That was not a normal storm" Angel grunted and Buffy ran her hands over him, looking anxiously for wounds. She finally gave up and stared at his intent eyes, watching her as she worried over him and a slight smile was on his face. "No, it wasn’t. You should talk to Giles. See you around Buffy" Angel said almost absently, his eyes distant. He walked swiftly away and Buffy just stared after him, finally following at a distance to see where he went. Angel had been distant all of a sudden and she wanted to know why the sudden change, he had seemed so jealous that she had hoped... Who the hell was that? She glared viciously as she peered around a tree and saw Angel approaching a girl who was sitting on a bench. Her back was to them both but she turned as she seemed to hear Angel, Buffy was mildly surprised at that seeing as she had very good hearing and Angel ALWAYS seemed to sneak up on HER. She couldn’t hear what was being said but Buffy’s heart faltered as she saw the girl’s face, it was the girl she had snubbed at the ‘Bronze’. The one that Dwayne had been smitten with and Buffy admitted reluctantly that the girl was beautiful. Her eyes as they had met Buffy’s had been a deep emerald and her long hair was incredible, her clothes were great too and Buffy could tell the girl was rich. But what was Angel doing with her? *************************************** "Gabriella, I’m sorry. That was a friend and those guys..." she interrupted him with a faint smile and he laughed ruefully at her words. "Vampires" she suggested with a straight face and he almost laughed till she asked the next question. "Why was your friend chasing the vampires, don’t people usually run away?" she said coolly and Angel was taken aback, now realizing she was right and not sure what to say. "Umm, they took her purse and she, Uh" Angel stumbled to a halt, unable to go on with the lame story he had been telling this girl. Gabriella nodded however and Angel was surprised when she accepted the lie easily, they got to their feet and began walking again. She said nothing more though and they walked in silence, though for Angel it was uncomfortable as he thought of how to explain the night’s events to her. "Angel is there a hotel around here? I really have to get a room before sun up" she asked and Angel looked around thinking, then remembered there was one close by the ‘Bronze’. "Uh, yeah, it’s back a few streets from the nightclub" he told her faintly embarrassed that they had walked all that way and he had not thought about finding her a hotel, even when she had said she didn’t have one. He dropped her off at the hotel and walked home in a pensive mood, he really liked Gabriella but the fight tonight had told him that Buffy really DID care more than she was letting on. Angel reached home an hour before sunrise and sat on his bed, pulling off his shirt before going to the fridge for a blood pack. Someone thumped insistently on his door and he opened it, the blood pack still in his hands. Buffy stood there and he was surprised when she pushed past him and into the room angrily. "Okay, I told Giles about tonight and he wants to see you at the Library when the sun goes down. There really were too many vampires to be a normal staking" Buffy told him in a muffled voice, still not facing him, Angel left the door open and walked over to her. "Tell him I’ll be there. Buffy..." she spun around and he could see she was very angry, yet tears were in her eyes. "Did you do it to make me jealous, is that it? Well it didn’t work Angel, not at all, I have Dwayne now!" she yelled furiously and Angel was taken aback and then furious also. "In case you didn’t notice, I had already left the ‘Bronze’ when you went chasing the vampires. I didn’t follow you and I had no idea that you would come along, so how could I have used Gabriella to make you jealous!" Angel shouted and Buffy went pale, he regretted his words almost immediately but she had slipped past him to the door and her face was cold as she faced him again. "Fine, just stay away from me Angel...just stay away" she almost whispered and then turned and ran, Angel followed involuntarily, but closed the door and leaned against it when he felt the sun was near. She had run into the sunlight, where he could not go and he smashed a priceless vase in rage. "Damn her!" he roared going vamp. He bit viciously into the blood bag he still held, reveling in the taste of the blood. ****************************************** ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: JMHnoodles Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Counterthrust" (1/3) Date: 10 May 1998 20:02:15 EDT I wanted to send this out as a whole, but it was too long. Title: Counterthrust (1/3) Author: Noodlebrain Disclaimer: "Grr...Arg," not mine, no money, s'all good; I own nothing but some minor brain damage. Distribution: Just tell me first. Spoilers: Everything that's aired is up for grabs. Feedback: Please!!!! Even if you hate it, tell me. If you think it can be improved, please tell me how! Notes: I should have technically been doing 10 chapters of AP work, but I *had* to finish this tonight. Warning: This is mildly violent and has one strong vulgarism. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Swing, duck, parry, thrust. Every few seconds a series of loud cracks rent the otherwise still air of the school library. It was a sharp, deliberate sound, the sound of wood solidly connecting with hard, heavy wood. Swing, block, *CRACK*. The only other noises as Buffy and Giles battled in the dimly lit room were grunts, heavy breathing, and the occasional whiz of air when one of the quarterstaves missed its intended target. Thrust, evade, counter, block. ***** Giles distanced himself from the simulated combat, letting his instincts take over as he studied Buffy. Counter, *SMACK*, spin, thrust. Her face was expressionless. Giles initially wanted to call it "stony," but even that implies an emotional connotation, one of anger or hate. Buffy's countenance was apathetic; simply...blank. *THWAP*, evade, swing. She was fighting mechanically, not really paying attention. She'd turned inside herself. *It probably has to do with our exchange ten minutes ago,* Giles thought. Buffy had shown up for training that evening late. When Giles had chastised her, she had grabbed a quarterstaff and stood in a sloppy ready stance, as if practice was insignificant. Noting her apparent half- heartedness, Giles had suggested that perhaps she might put some protective gear on; at least a helmet. "That's okay, I don't plan on taking any hits," she had replied, arrogance distorting her normally pretty face. When Giles had opened his mouth to protest, she had lanced him with an ice blue stare. Scowling, but realizing he wasn't going to get anywhere when her mind was set like that, he brought his staff up and initiated the attack. Swipe, jump, thrust. Bringing his thoughts back to the present, Giles frowned. *I never have time for such introspection. She should have scored about seven hits on me in that time.* "Wait." Buffy's mind snapped out of autopilot as Giles stopped fighting. She looked up to see him removing his padding. "What are you doing?" she queried, her face creasing in confusion as he pulled off his gear. "These are becoming rather cumbersome," he answered, then paused to look her in the eyes. "And with the way you're fighting, I don't need them anyway." They resumed their stances, Buffy looking decidedly annoyed. Swing, *CRACK*, parry. "What," she demanded between strikes, "is that supposed to mean?" Duck, thrust, swing, block. "What," he replied, uncharacteristic sarcasm wrenching his voice, "do you _think_ it means?" Anger flowed into to Buffy's attack, but any good the newfound intensity could have done was slashed by her proportional loss of rationality. *CRACK*, swipe, *CRACK*, thrust, *CRACK*, *CRACK* Giles matched her, swing for swing, thrust for thrust. "Tell me something," he asked, his voice mock- conversational, his tone clipped. "How do you expect to defeat Angelus?" Buffy ceased swinging, bright blue eyes flashing with rage. Something feral escaped from her throat. Face tight, she opened her mouth and yelled, "How DARE you-" "HOW DARE _YOU_?" he shot back with equal volume. Each word burned his heart and soul horribly as it left him, but he had to get his point across to her. She'd reached a stage where he could not touch her, couldn't get past her barrier of self-assurance and see her emotions. Giles was angry. Not at the young woman standing in front of him, the girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, but at himself. He thought they had gotten past all these hideous emotional complications; thought that their relationship had proceeded beyond any awkwardness and inability to communicate. He cursed himself. *I behaved like a complete jackass when Buffy was telling us about that boy. The one who tried to molest her. I brushed her off, just as if it had been Cordelia whining about a broken nail. Damn.* The more he thought about it, the more he realized that his actions had been completely antagonistic to any progress they'd made the night... The night Jenny died. Giles swallowed hard, not remembering Angelus' surprise when he hurled the Molotov cocktail, or the painful beating that followed; but remembering Buffy telling him "I can't do this alone." After that, Giles realized, he had screwed up. Now, he had to make up for it. He had to punch his way back through all the walls and get to her before anything happened to her. He continued his verbal assault. end part 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: JMHnoodles Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Counterthrust" (2/3) Date: 10 May 1998 20:02:29 EDT Title: Counterthrust (2/3) Author: Noodlebrain Disclaimer: "Grr...Arg," not mine, no money, s'all good; I own nothing but some minor brain damage. Distribution: Just tell me first. Spoilers: Everything that's aired is up for grabs. Feedback: Please!!!! Even if you hate it, tell me. If you think it can be improved, please tell me how! Notes: I should have technically been doing 10 chapters of AP work, but I just had to finish this tonight! Warning: This is mildly violent and has one strong vulgarism. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "HOW DARE _YOU_?" he had left off, all those thoughts coursing through his mind in less than a second, "How dare you become complacent, shut me out, and put people in grave danger? How dare you run around playing this cat-and-mouse with Angelus? Think about that. _How_ _dare_ _you_?" he demanded, voice growing with each heavily stressed word. Giles could see the wheels turning in her mind; could sense the barriers start to fall. He hated himself passionately for everything he had just said, but he knew nothing else would work. He had thrust. She had parried. Now, it appeared his attack may have succeeded. But then they made eye contact, and Giles saw everything lock up again. A glint of something akin to pure malice sparked in Buffy's frozen face. "I can handle it," she said, her cold monotone ripping a fresh wound open in his heart, "without your help." With that, she came at him, attacking full force. Swing, *CRACK*, parry, *SMACK*, swing, swing, thrust, evade. Giles felt a wave of sadness wash over him as he fought back. He was hoping he wouldn't have to rip the girl's soul out and hold it front of her in order to accomplish this, but it was appearing he had no choice. *SMACK* *SMACK* *CRACK*, sweep, jump, thrust. "Let me guess," Giles said, his voice strained from the increasing physical exertion, "since you spent so much time with him, and you two loved each other enough to sleep together-" Swing, evade, *CRACK* *CRACK* block *CRACK* Giles struggled to finish as Buffy's violence increased by an order of magnitude. "-you think that you can use your knowledge of him against him?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he insisted, "Is that how you plan on doing it?" They now had their staves up against each other in a flattened X, looking right in one another's face as they grappled to break the hold. "Something like that, yeah," Buffy replied, her voice infused with acid. "And since you don't know him," she half-growled, biting off each word, "stay out of it." With that she broke the stalemate, sliding away and bringing her staff back up to hit him. Thrust, evade, parry, *CRACK*, swipe, duck. "So," he started again, resuming the old mock conversational tone, but too drained to soak it with much sarcasm, "you think you know him." *SMACK* "Hello, where the fuck have you been?" Buffy yelled, her agitation growing exponentially. "Isn't that what I just said?" Parry, *CRACK*, parry, thrust, *SMACK*, evade. "All right, then," Giles said, "I just wanted...to make sure." *God,* he prayed silently, *please let this work, because I am not sure at all. I've just run out of ideas. I don't know what else to do.* *CRACK*, thrust, evade, swing, block, *CRACK* With that, Giles reached inward, into the darkest recesses of his soul, and let his own inner demons out to play. end part 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: JMHnoodles Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Counterthrust" (3/3) Date: 10 May 1998 20:02:46 EDT Title: Counterthrust (3/3) Author: Noodlebrain Disclaimer: "Grr...Arg," not mine, no money, s'all good; I own nothing but some minor brain damage. Distribution: Just tell me first. Spoilers: Everything that's aired is up for grabs. Feedback: Please!!!! Even if you hate it, tell me. If you think it can be improved, please tell me how! Warning: This is mildly violent and has one strong vulgarism. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *CRACK* thrust *CRACK* *CRACK* swing *SMACK* He was no longer fighting like good old librarian-Watcher-Giles. Swing *SLAP* *CRACK* thrust evade swipe jump *SMACK* *SMACK* Something else engulfed him, fighting through him; an inhuman presence that knew nothing of love or loyalty or kindness. Evil becme the life that flowed through his veins, hell became the fire that burned behind his eyes. Any soul he might have had became dormant. Now he rounded on the girl viciously. *SMACK*swingthrust And Buffy realized she could no longer easily wallop Giles. sweepjumpswing*SMACK* In fact, she had no idea how to even fight him anymore. thrustevade*CRACK*swing*SLAP* His attack became swift, unrelenting, violent, and cruel. His face was carved in stone. He looked into her eyes; straight through her until he found her soul. swing*SLAP**SLAP**CRACK**_CRACK_* The confidence and anger on Buffy's face melted away and were replaced by confusion. She was slowly but steadily losing ground; backing away. As fear crept in on the edges of her mind, her fighting technique began to lose its effectiveness. *SMACK*thrustparryparry*CRACK**SLAP*duckswing*CRACK* Buffy's confusion became sheer fright. There was no longer any structure to her defense; she was in a full-blown panic, flailing the staff about wildly, struggling desperately to fend him off. *CRACK**CRACK*swing*SMACK**CRACK*block*SLAP**CRACK* "You," Giles growled between shots, "think you can fight me like you know me..." Giles brought his staff back and swung it down, hard- *_THWACK_* -and that was it. Giles' staff hit home, catching her on the side of the head. "But that was Ripper. You were trying to fight Ripper like it was me, Rupert," Giles began explaining. He knelt down on the floor next to Buffy, who was holding a hand to her head, lips quivering. He reached out a hand to touch her, but she jerked away in fear. Giles swallowed down hard, then reached out again, putting a hand under her chin and gently making her look up at him. "You don't know Ripper. You tried to fight him the same way you fight Rupert, and you lost." Tears started sliding down Buffy's face, making smooth tracks in the sweat already covering her skin. "Buffy," Giles tried to say, but his throat was tight and the word came out strangled. He tried to swallow, but couldn't, so he just continued in a raspy voice: "You know Angel. You could have fought and defeated Angel. You don't know Angelus." Buffy turned away, managing a choked "No..." Giles grabbed her chin again. "Buffy, listen to me! You can't fight Ripper like Rupert, and you can't fight Angelus like Angel! They are in the same body but they are NOT THE SAME!" Giles sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry I had to do this, but I wasn't getting through. It was partly my fault, too, that's why I refused to give up." He contemplated turning away so she couldn't see his eyes moistening, but that would contradict everything he was trying to accomplish. No more hiding; no more closing each other off. "I couldn't think of any other way. I didn't want to hurt you, but if I didn't, you'd have only gone out and gotten yourself hurt more, or even killed. I only ask this: do you understand what I've just told you?" He wanted to tack on a million other questions, like "Do you know that you need to train more to beat him?" and "Can you ever forgive me for this?", but he couldn't, wouldn't push her any more that day. He just looked at her expectantly for a response. She nodded her head weakly. "Yes," she whispered. Giles closed his eyes, then slumped up against the wall. That was good enough for him. Thrust. Parry. Counter. Strike. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the end feedback *please*: JMHnoodles@aol.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: G90210 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Life's A Bitch(4b/?) Date: 10 May 1998 20:13:27 EDT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was just a thought I had one day. Because Buffy has to deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real stuff.. I don't know why I thought of this, but oh well I did. TITLE: Life's A Bitch AUTHOR: mInDy (G90210@aol.com or LoveAVamp@aol.com) SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy and Angel for those of you who it matters too. SPOILERS: None at the moment. TIME LINE: After S/I IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be broken this time. DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!! WARNING: Look at the title and the language will be explained. THANK YOUS: To EVERYBODY who helped me get ideas for where to go next, I know it's been a while, but I have a thought, which means I had a happy! Life's A Bitch by: mInDy *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* On the way back from the doctor's, Buffy and Willow sat in silence. The doctor had told Buffy news that she did not want to hear. The doctor had said that the chance of catching this guy wasn't that great. And that had really upset Buffy, she wanted this guy to pay, and Willow figured so did Angel. Willow tried all she could, but she really didn't know how to help Buffy. "Buffy?" "Yeah Will." "You know if you need anything, just talk to me, I'll listen, I'm really good at listening, you can ask Xander, when we were little kids, I use to listen to him all the time, but then he talks all the time, well anyways, look at this I keep rambling on, I think I'll shut-up now." "Thanks Will, that may not seem like a lot, but that really means something to me." "Well, Buffy, you're my best friend, I am always gonna be here for you." "Thanks, I needed to hear that." The rest of the way home, was in more silence, but comfortable silence. Untill Willow turned on the radio, and Mariah Carey's song "Anytime You Need A Friend" came on, and the two of them just looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing. That Buffy would get through this, with the help of her friends. Buffy started singing the song, and then Willow joined in. Willow may not have known how to help her friend, but this was a start. < If you're lonely And need a friend And troubles seem like They never end Just remember to keep the faith And love will be there to light the way Anytime you need a friend I will be here You'll never be alone again So don't you fear Even if you're miles away I'm by your side So don't you ever be lonely Love will make it alright When the shadows are closing in And your spirit diminishing Just remember you're not alone And love will be there To guide you home Anytime you need a friend I will be here You'll never be alone again So don't you fear Even if you're miles away I'm by your side So don't you ever be lonely Love will make it alright If you just believe in me I will love you endlessly Take my hand Take me into your heart I'll be there forever baby I won't let go I'll never let go Anytime you need a friend I will be here You'll never be alone again So don't you fear Even if you're miles away I'm by your side So don't you ever be lonely It's alright It's alright> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* END PART 4 TBC in Part 5........(which will hopefully be up tomorrow night, if I write it in homeroom, which means I gotta get off here and get my homework done!!!!) FEEDBACK IS SOOOOOOOO WELCOMED!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Two -- (1/1) Date: 10 May 1998 20:55:20 EDT See part one for all disclaimers and notes. If you missed a part, e-mail me at KylenRevik@aol.com and I'll mail it to you. All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please! ~ "Part Two: Past Tense" Place: Sunnydale University, School Dean's Office. Time: November 25th, 2002. Xander glanced at Willow, then two seats down to Cordelia. All three were waiting for whatever news it was they were going to receive. All three had all received identical phone calls, telling them simply that they had to report to the dean's office for some news. Xander had been pulled out of an English Lit class, and he knew Willow had been in one of her computer science courses. Cordelia had been waiting for Xander's class to end so he could take her out for coffee during the forty-five minute break between his class and hers. He checked his watch. If this wasn't over, and soon, he was going to have to make it up to Cordie somehow. Dinner out, maybe. Or he could grab a bottle of wine on the way back to the apartment and treat her to a romantic evening at home. He looked up as the door opened. Giles, who had left his position at Sunnydale High to keep books at the University, walked out of the Dean's office. Xander hadn't realized he was there, and he felt a pit of confusion roll in his stomach as he became aware of some real concern, past all the strange possibilities that had already presented themselves. "You'd better-- better go in and see him," Giles said quietly, removing his glasses to use his handkerchief to wipe away tears. Xander's eyes widened. "Wonder what that's about," he said, standing and letting Willow lead the way into the Dean's office. He put an arm around Cordelia, and escorted her in. The school dean-- Mr. Stockard-- was fifty three years old. Today, he looked twice that. "Have a seat," he said to the three of them. There were only two chairs, so Xander let Willow and Cordelia have them. He stood behind his fianc‚, rubbing Cordelia's shoulders a little to try and communicate-- maybe to both of them-- that there was nothing to worry about and everything would be fine, just as soon as the dean broke the silence and let them all stop thinking up imaginary disasters. "Kids," the dean said, "I understand you were all close to Buffy Summers." "Yeah," Xander said, before the tense the dean used sank in. Then, abruptly, he and Willow turned toward each other. She realized it at the same time, Xander knew. Cordelia was frozen under his hands. "What do you mean, _were_?" Willow asked. "Miss Summers was found this morning, in--" and here the dean faltered slightly, "Sunnydale Cemetery." He shook his head. "The police have mounted an investigation, but at this point it looks like a murder. Her mother asked that I inform her friends." Xander felt his mouth go dry when the words hit his ears, and the connection between Giles' state when leaving the office and what he was being told made itself evident. "She's...?" The dean gave only a slight nod. "I can only offer you three my sympathies for your loss--" "No," Xander broke in. "No, you can't. We can do without." He gave Cordelia's arm a light pull, then tapped Willow's shoulder. "Come on, guys," he said, taking a step toward the door. The two girls exchanged glances, then Willow rose. "I need a minute," Cordelia whispered. Xander nodded, and he and Willow left. It wasn't until they parted ways and he found himself back at the apartment he and Cordelia shared that the full strength of what the dean had said hit him. She was gone. She was...gone. Buffy. His friend. The girl he'd had a crush on since high school. The dean wasn't lying. The-- His thoughts broke off abruptly as a sob welled up inside him, and he crumpled down against the wall. He hadn't moved or stopped crying three hours later, when Cordelia arrived home. She was calm and composed. Quiet, but composed. "Xander," she finally said, some time around midnight, "I'm going to bed." Shaking, curled up against the wall, he nodded. "Are you coming?" He shook his head. "No." "Oh," Cordelia said softly, then she fell silent and left the room. *Jesus God,* Xander thought. *Buffy...* It was a call of mental anguish. He swallowed, trying to quell the emptiness in his chest, and wondering what he was supposed to do now. *Buffy...what _happened_, which of those bastards did it to you...* For he had no doubt that it _had_ been a murder, and he was reasonably sure of the kind of monster that had killed her. And he knew the police would never find it. He remembered when he had finally told Buffy how he felt about her, straight out and without trying to beat around the bush. Just "Buffy, I'm in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." That even though he understood she was in love with and waiting for Angel, he wanted her to give serious thought to the possibility that things might not work out for them-- Angel might stay Angelus for the rest of her life. And for her, he wouldn't mind not being her prince so long as he was _hers_. She had told him no. That she wasn't going to live forever-- probably much shorter. That she didn't want to get close to someone just to lose them, or for them to lose her. That losing Angel had been enough to teach her she couldn't expect a lifetime commitment out of someone when she might not have a lifetime to live. That had been almost three years ago. At their graduation from Sunnydale High. He shivered. He had wound up with Cordelia that night, and every night since then he'd moved closer and closer to her-- at times almost forgetting that just the same way he wouldn't have been Buffy's first choice, Cordelia wasn't his. He swallowed. Thinking about Cordelia as a substitute for Buffy wasn't something he wanted to do. It wasn't fair. To either of them. But somehow, Xander realized, the fact that it had occurred to him now meant it would always be there. He would always be looking at Cordelia, not because he loved her, but because she was there and handy and available and not particularly uninterested in him. And if he felt that way about her, then who was to say how she must feel about him? So late that night, when the dawn was breaking, he wrote a letter to her, and left it on the kitchen table. Saying he was sorry, and he wished her nothing but the best-- but he wouldn't be around to share it with her, and to please tell Willow the same. He loved them both, he wrote, but if Buffy was dead he wasn't going to be able to be near them anymore. Too many painful memories, he had written, and as he walked out of the apartment he realized just how true that was. He would call Sunnydale U in the morning, and talk to someone there about transferring the credits he had already earned to another state university. For now, though, practical matters could wait. He just had to get out of the city. He had a cousin in Los Angeles who had given him a standing invitation to visit-- he was going to have to impose. By the time he drove out of Sunnydale, dawn was breaking. ~ All Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 13) Date: 10 May 1998 20:27:11 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 13) They had sat, and talked, and laughed, together all night, just sitting, together. Angelus sighed remembering everything, happily. As of now Drusilla lay sleeping, so peacefully in Angelus' bed... He lay next to her, caressing her hair, and stroking her face, his feather light touches, never waking her, or stirring her from her peaceful slumber, that was the last thing on his mind. She had opened up to him. Shared her life, her family, her dreams, ambitions, everything with him. An absolute stranger of only 2 nights, yet she already trusted him... Angelus had thought it would take longer, he'd been prepared to wait months for her to love him. He realized now where he had calculated wrong. He had thought her a woman looking for money, and a good name, not love. This was all she wanted, and, as he had only recently found out, she was willing to find love in anything, anyone. He had thought her a woman looking to please her parents and the town, to be a perfect christen wife, when what she really wanted was someone to care for her, even when things were bad. Angelus could do this. He already loved her. He was going to give her one week. One week of absolute happiness, with out worries, with out fears. But idea's were popping in his head, and such fun thoughts were these that he couldn't possibly wait a whole week, one week until he went after her. Her father. Her mother, Sister, Aunt, even her stupid dolls. Though, Church would be such a fun place to start. Church which would be in one week... He looked at her sleeping eyes as they fluttered softly. All thoughts were turned to mere soap bubble, and he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (7/?) Date: 10 May 1998 23:49:15 EDT Title: Love's Revival (7/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Savarah is mine! Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address Doesn't anyone know what feedback is? Come on, I'm dying here! *************** "Good thing you're catching up on that beauty rest, cause you could sure use it." Savarah awoke from a quiet sleep to the voice of a familiar enemy. "Buffy! So good to see you again." Savarah slowly sat up, flashing Buffy an evil smile. The room was quiet and dark; deep crimson drapes covered a large window off to one side. A large bed sat in the middle of the otherwise bare room. "I've had enough of our little chats. I think you know why I'm here," Buffy said, annoyed with this creature that just wouldn't die. "Yeah, I do," Savarah said with a laugh. "Good. Are you ready, or would you like to finish your nap first?" "Oh dearie, I'm ready. Unfortunately, I'm not the one your going to fight." "What?" She couldn't believe her ears. She was supposed to fight Savarah again; that was the deal. "You have no idea how much joy it would bring me to fight you for your soul, but I'm afraid even demons have rules. You see, to win your soul back, you must defeat your greatest challenge." Savarah sighed and her evil grin faded away, almost to reveal sadness. "And though it pains me to say it, I'm not your greatest challenge." "Well, if you aren't, then what is?" "Angel." Her plain expression was replaced by a hysterical laugh. Savarah controlled her excitement in order to continue her lecture. "Your love for Angel will always exist, no matter what he does to you. He will always love you too, with or without a soul. Your challenge is to make him admit that love." "I should have known you would have another trick up your sleeve. I can't make Angelus love me. He has no soul; no feelings, he's a demon." Buffy paced back and forth in a small area of the room, her anger showing through her frustration. "Oh, but you are wrong, very wrong. Vampires may not have souls, but they are capable of feelings, and human qualities. Their souls are taken so that there is nothing to stop them from killing, and feeding. They are capable of love, their soulless natures simply prevent them from realizing it." Buffy stopped dead in her tracks, spinning around to look Savarah in the eye. "He didn't even admit that he loved me when he had his soul until..." She stopped remembering him, their love and the horrible mistake she had made. "Painful isn't it?" Savarah saw her grief clearly, despite the shield of anger she had erected. "When do we fight?" Buffy regained her composure and stopped herself from reminiscing on the past. "Tonight. But one little thing first: if either of you kill the other, you both loose. Angel will forever remain Angelus, and you will die." Savarah slid off the bed and grabbed a long coat. "And if I win?" "Both of your souls will be returned. You will forever be rid of me." "What a deal." "Angel will not know why you are fighting him, and you cannot tell him. Your only weapon is the soul that now inhabits your body." She led the way out of the building and the two of the walked in silence to the warehouse. The large steel doors opened at Savarah's command and they entered. Vampires backed away from their path. Buffy walked directly behind Savarah, carefully examining the room and the vampires in it. "Spike, Dru," Savarah said as she walked in on the two kissing in the main room. "Savarah, how nice of you to just barge in," Spike said as he broke reluctantly away from Dru's lips. Buffy made herself visible from behind Savarah. "Buffy, so good to see you again." She was too busy examining the room to acknowledge his presence or to think up a good comeback. Buffy was sure that with Savarah by her side, and Angel in her heart, she wouldn't have any problems. "Oh, don't mind us. We're here to see Angel. Continue on." "Okay, we will." Spike grabbed Dru by the waist and pulled her closer to him. Savarah and Buffy walked to one of the bedrooms in the back. Angel still remained in his spot by the window. "Angel, darling. I brought a friend over to play." Angel snapped out of his daydream to see two beautiful women, his worst enemies standing in front of him. He acknowledged their presence with a snarl. "Oh, don't be like that. Buffy just wants to play with you." "I have more fun when I play like this." Angel grinned as he saw the look of fear in Buffy's eyes. "Have it your way." Savarah tugged at Buffy's shirt and pulled her over by Angel. They stood face to face, looking deep enough into each other's eyes to burn holes. "Now, it is time you two settled your differences. An all out battle to the death should do nicely." Buffy turned her head sharply towards Savarah, acting stunned. "Don't worry Buffy. I'll make it quick." Buffy smirked at him. "Don't plan on this being a quick fight Angel." He smiled at her attempts to hurt him with words. He liked to see her mad. "Okay." Savarah looked back and forth between them. The tension in the room was brutally strong. "Let's go then." End Part 7 - Send FEEDBACK! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Three -- (2/2) Date: 11 May 1998 06:30:53 EDT This is the second part of Chapter Three, which was two posts long. Please send all comments, questions, and requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com. Thank you. ~ Place: Sunnydale University. Time: May 22, 2012. Midmorning. Too many ghosts. Too many demons-- and not the sort that inhabited human bodies and sucked blood. There were too many memories here for Xander to stand it much longer, but he had promised Willow that he would let her take him around, show him the computer labs at the school, and that he would sit in on one of her classes and listen to her teach. So here he was, now, a thirty-one year old sitting in a class of computer geeks in their late teens who were soaking up every word Willow uttered as though drops of gold were spilling from her lips. Xander could remember times he had felt like that. Other women, other reasons, and yet somehow he felt there was some sort of connection. These kids had love, passion, for what they were doing-- and he could tell there was going to be plenty for them to do with the knowledge they were going to earn. He sighed. He had never quite gotten back on track after transferring to UCLA. Cast about from major to major, met Anna- Marie in a music theory class while entertaining thoughts of starting a rock 'n roll band. She was a floutist, but it was something she did on the side. Other times, she wrote papers on why the dead white males of literature were a waste of time, and why there were so many things one could learn from the contemporary writers that you couldn't absorb from Dickens or Shakespeare. Willow's lecture lasted three hours, and once it was over Willow had to speak with some of her students, so she told Xander if he'd wait for her in the hallway she would be there in a few minutes. Once he had been in the hall for close to half an hour, he realized that "a few minutes" wasn't meant to be taken literally-- so he started walking through the halls in a wide loop around campus. Every time he turned a new corner, another memory assaulted him. There was the place where Cordelia had tripped down the stairs and sprained her ankle. There was where Willow had gotten asked to join one of the campus sororities, leaving Cordelia green with envy-- until it turned out that the girls had mixed up which of them was which, and Willow had made a big deal out of the fact that she didn't care and she didn't want to have to deal with the cliques anyway. There was the place where he and Cordelia had announced to Buffy, Will, and Giles that they were engaged, that Xander had worked out what Cordelia had pronounced, "the sweetest thing!", taking her out for dinner at La Place-- one of the newer and more sophisticated places about town-- and had placed the ring over one of the candles on her birthday cake. He turned another corner, and ran into a young woman-- a student. "Excuse me," he said. "No prob," she replied, flashing him an unconcerned look-- Xander's thoughts broke off abruptly when the face clicked. "_Buffy_?" It was a shocked whisper. A hand fell on his shoulder. "Xander?" Willow asked. He brushed her hand off his shoulder and took off through the doors the student-- _Buffy_?-- had gone through. But when he arrived on the other side, no one was there. "Xander?" Willow asked again, breathless as she had run up behind him. "Who were you talking to?" Xander shook his head, looking around frantically. "I-- Willow, I saw--" He broke off abruptly, realizing what he was about to say. Then he swallowed. "No. Nothing." *God,* he thought, *Anna- Marie is right, I'm losing my mind over this...ten _years_ and I start hallucinating?* Willow looked at him for a long moment. "You said Buffy. Called her name." "It was nothing." "Xander--" "Willow, I promise. Memories. Nothing more." Willow bit her lip, looked at him, and Xander could tell she was worried. But what was he supposed to say? *Yes, Willow, I just saw our dead best friend walking down the hallway, I ran in to her, she's not dead, she's still young, and she's beautiful, and I...* That wouldn't work at all. There were a few more seconds of silence, then Willow sighed. "If you say so," she said quietly. "Be careful." His eyes still focused across the lawn which his hallucination must have crossed, Xander nodded quietly and let Willow lead him back to her car. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Three -- (1/2) Date: 11 May 1998 06:30:50 EDT This is chapter 3 of 13. All questions, comments, or requests for missing parts, please e-mail me at KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ "Part Three: Fissures" Place: Cordelia's Journal. Time: May 21, 2012, Late Night. Xander and Willow came tonight. I wrote last night that I never wanted to see him again, after what he said yesterday. I don't know why I didn't tell Willow not to bring him after all, even if she and I have been planning this for a while, because the night was a disaster and now I only want to take it back. The moment I brought up the books Giles left with me when he moved to Ottawa to train a new Slayer candidate, Xander exploded. You know, you'd think I would be the angry one. I kept my word to Buffy, I didn't tell anyone she was going to try to either change Angel back or kill him. I thought she was kidding, for god's sake. I never thought she was serious when she... But I've gone over that before, too many times. And I wanted to write about tonight. It's been hours and hours since Xander and Willow left. Since he stormed out and she followed him. I brought out the books and explained to them that Giles had wanted me to show them, but Xander never came back and I wanted to do it all at once, because I didn't know what was in them, and then the next thing I know Xander's yelling at me and asking if it was-- Okay. I'm okay. I didn't keep it from them on purpose. Either the books from Giles or that Buffy came to me the day before she died and said if anything happened to her and there was a pile of ash nearby, she wanted me to spread it over her grave. So she would be with him forever. How was I supposed to know it was serious? I mean, she had said so many times she was going to turn Angel back, but she never actually tried it before that night, I don't think. Or else she had tried, and failed, and she didn't say anything to me. How was I supposed to know? I've asked myself that question ever since the morning Xander wrote me that letter and left. I should be the one who's mad at him, you know. He's the one who was too scared to stick around. He would have hated me anyway, though. I can't believe how long it took me to realize he wasn't coming back. I can't believe I let him hurt me like that. I mean, look at me. I'm Cordelia, the one who doesn't hurt. Ever. Not because some geek dumps her. I don't know why I accepted that engagement ring in the first place. At least he's gone now. He always was such a self-centered jerk. Even back in high school. And running off like that. And now, blaming me. I could have just not told him. I thought he'd understand. I thought it would make him hurt less. Which, admittedly, isn't something I should have worried about. I gave him the books. I don't need them. Willow says he's only going to be here a few more days. I hope he never comes back again. * Place: Rosenberg Residence. Time: May 22, 2012. Early Morning. "Give me that," Willow said insistently as Xander stormed into the dining room of her house, setting a small pile of books on the table. "Why?" Xander asked. "She gave them to me." "Because you were being a jerk," Willow snapped. "Xander, how could you say those things to her?" He flipped open one of the books, paging through it, shaking his head. "Maybe because she deserved it," he said quietly. There was silence for a moment, and he began reading a passage that had been marked off and dated, "11/28/98", then he murmured the lines aloud. "Let us speak across the divide of time/without concern for it's ebb and flow/and take us to the hearts of those we love/bringing us closer--" He broke off as Willow snatched the book away. "Xander," she said. "--to the ones our memories best know," he finished. "What." "What you said to Cordelia." Willow sighed. "She didn't mean to hide these-- all those things from us," she said quietly. "And it was unfair of you to say she did." "She didn't tell me about Buffy till yesterday." "Because you haven't been here." "But--" "Xander," Willow said quietly, calmly as always, "you can't do this. To yourself or to Cordelia, she doesn't deserve it and neither do you." She paused a moment. "We were just kids." Xander looked at her for a long moment, then sighed. "When did we stop being kids?" he asked. She shook her head. "I don't know," she said. They looked at each other for a long few seconds before Willow passed the books back. "You shouldn't hold it against Cordelia," she said quietly. "She was never quite as deep into things as we were." Xander took the volumes, cradling them in his arms for a long few seconds before shaking his head. "I'm sorry." He seemed to be doing a lot of apologizing since he'd returned to Sunnydale. Willow shook her head. "It's okay," she said, though they both knew it wasn't. Then she took a breath. "I'm going up to bed," she said. "You going to come to class with me tomorrow?" Xander was ready to say no, then saw the hopeful look in her eyes-- and nodded. "Sure," he said. "Wake me up?" She nodded. "Will do," she replied, then started up the steps. Xander stood in the hall for a few seconds, then turned and walked into her guest room to get some sleep of his own. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Subject: BUFFYFIC: Full of Grace (1/4) Date: 11 May 1998 07:47:11 -0700 Author's notes: Sarah McLachlin and Angel won't let me alone. I started writing this the day after Passion aired. I apologize to each and every one of you; don't kill me, or there won't be any hope of a sequel. The song Full of Grace is on Sarah's latest album Surfacing. If you haven't heard Sarah... well, let's just say she does a GOOD job of enhancing Buffy-angst. < g > Thanks (always!) to Perri and Chris. A year and a day ago, you two, I was pinned down helplessly in a hotel room and forced me to watch Buffy. My life has not been the same since. To Dianne, who was trapped in the same hotel room. To my Roomie, who *looked* and all of a sudden Cordelia was in the story. To my own person fic-demon, MaryBeth, who must have set up an auto-bot to e-mail me every week to demand this story. Disclaimers: Not mine, wouldn't torture them like this if they were, don't sue. Joss is God, and if he doesn't fix what's broken he's going to be in TROUBLE!!!! Praise, flames, chocolate and cute angsty vampires to lizbet@primenet.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Full of Grace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He is aware of being restrained, chained down by flesh and iron to earth. His eyes sting from a blinding flash of light -- a flash that he both remembers and doesn't remember. Divided against himself, for a moment there seems to be two separate consciousnesses in his body. Then with a force that nearly destroys him, the two merge into one. A century or more passes before the pain -- physical, spiritual and psychic -- lessens enough to let him lift his head. Five figures surround him, one at each point of a pentagram scrawled on the ground. He looks up -- into her eyes. One moment, two passes. And then he throws back his head and screams his rage to the sky. A demon's howl, coming from a human's soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **The winter here is cold **And bitter **Chills us to the bone. The apartment was cold, musty. Disuse had left its marks in the dust on the floor, spiders spinning ragged lace in corners. He hadn't seen the place since he had turned around and left Buffy shaking and crying in the middle of the room. The blood in the old refrigerator had spoiled, making the enclosed, airless space smell like a butcher's shop, turning his stomach. The memories turned it more. **Haven't seen the sun for weeks **Too long, too far from home Drawing littered the desk and walls, drawings of his past. Somehow, after he met Buffy, he was able for the first time to resurrect the images of his family, friends, human life. For the first time in two centuries, he could look into his mother's eyes and remember her as the woman she had been, and not the broken corpse he had left her. Now her eyes stared down at him from the wall, accusing, the goddess Nemesis herself. **I feel just like I'm sinking **And I claw for solid ground. Angel scrubbed his face with his hands, clutching the thin thread of his control. Before, there had been nothing but rage. The demon had been furious that its merry devastation had been checked; the soul had been anguished at being ripped from its rest and returned to hell on earth. Within the vast confusion of the whys and wherefores, there had been no room for anything but anger. The shame had come later. **Pulled down by the undertow **Never knew I could feel so alone **Oh, darkness; I feel like letting go. He didn't have that blessed period of abeyance now. He knew exactly what he had done, to whom. He knew how much it would torment and destroy. And he had done it so cheerfully, so full of demonic pleasure. Every act, every moment, seen and imagined, had been a banquet for his senses, the faintest drop in the ocean of his hatred for the girl who had made him love again. The pain was a living thing, twisting in his belly, clawing its way out of his throat in a tortured scream. Blinded by pain and fury, he ripped the drawings from the wall, reduced the desk itself to deadly shards of splintered wood, shattered the glass case of Kwan Yin and the figure within, venting his fury at God and fate and himself on silent, dumb objects. Things that were unable to see, unable to care. Futilely beating his fists against the wall, he wanted to shatter it, himself, the world, to end the existence of anything and everything so that this moment itself could end. He should have learned by now that random destruction didn't help anyone. Slowly, his face pressed to the wall, he sank to the floor. Lost amidst the shards of glass and wood, the only sound were strangled, choked sobs of defeat. He no longer had the shell of nearly a century of solitude to protect him from the pain. It had been ripped away by the pity in the Slayer's eyes when she asked him if he knew what it was like to have a friend. Somehow, he thought that he was unlikely to regain that protection ever again. Scattered on the floor, his drawings faced him with a thousand accusing eyes. It was time to face the living ones. **If all of the strength **All of the courage **Come and lift me from this place **I know I can love you much better than this **Full of grace. **Full of grace, my love. The library was silent, dark except for a streak of light from one corner. He purposefully timed it so no one would be here but Giles. He couldn't face them all at the same time. He needed to do this one by one. Moving forward, he could see a figure hunched over the desk, finger tracing faded lines of text. Behind him was a cot, bedclothes rumbled and flung across its narrow, monkish width. Giles had not spent a night at his home since he had found his beloved lying dead there. Angel didn't blame him. Angel's hands curled into fists, fighting the urge to escape. This needed to be done. He needed to do this. Slowly, he moved forward until movement out of the corner of his eye caught Giles' attention. He turned sharply, then stumbled back when he looked through the window of his office and recognized the figure before him. Automatically, Giles reached for the long sword he kept with him at all times now. Then his mind overruled his fight instinct, recalling the spell, the ceremony, a soul returned. The hilt of the sword slid through his fingers and thumped gently back to his desk. "Angel." One word, uninflected and unemotional. Last time they had faced each other, alone, just the two of them, a baseball bat had been blazing in Giles' hand and anguished rage had burned in his eyes. Now those eyes were flat grey and empty, expressionless through the clear glass that separated them. "I wanted to thank you." Giles almost laughed, a little puff of air that had little of humor in it. "I hardly thought you would thank me for what I did." "You stopped me from...," Angel paused and gritted his teeth, continuing with honesty rather than evasion, "destroying everything I touched. I am in your debt for that, if for nothing else." "I did it for Buffy, and for the people in this town, and all those who you would have gone on to destroy," Giles said low and clearly. "I know." There wasn't much more to be said. An apology would be a hideous joke, a promise to make it up would fall as flat as the impossibility it was. "I'm leaving." Giles' hand jerked, slightly. After a moment, he said, "I think that would be for the best. Where will you go?" After a moment, Angel answered, "Telling anyone would defeat the purpose of leaving." Giles acknowledged that by barely inclining his head. After a moment, Angel dropped the slender folder he carried onto a table and silently left the library. It wasn't until much later that Giles moved out into the open part of the library. He opened the folder to find a drawing of Jenny, eyes alive and lively, laughing as she coaxed him into dancing with her the night the Master died. There was humor and personality in her cheerful, challenging grin, beauty and vulnerability in the fragile curve of her neck. And when she looked up at her unseen dance partner, there was love in her eyes. Giles stared at it for several long moments. Then he gently closed the folder and put it aside. *** Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html * * Sunnydale Slayers http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html Lizbet -- lizbet@primenet.com ~ Lizbetann@aol.com "Carpe Speedo?" -- "<*thud*>" -- Kiki and Celli "The hell with it. You can all read Typo." -- Perri "Only you could make fandom sound like a carnal experience. And a violent one at that." -- Chris ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Subject: BUFFYFIC: Full of Grace (1/3) Date: 11 May 1998 07:47:28 -0700 Author's notes: Sarah McLachlin and Angel won't let me alone. I started writing this the day after Passion aired. I apologize to each and every one of you; don't kill me, or there won't be any hope of a sequel. The song Full of Grace is on Sarah's latest album Surfacing. If you haven't heard Sarah... well, let's just say she does a GOOD job of enhancing Buffy-angst. < g > Thanks (always!) to Perri and Chris. A year and a day ago, you two, I was pinned down helplessly in a hotel room and forced me to watch Buffy. My life has not been the same since. To Dianne, who was trapped in the same hotel room. To my Roomie, who *looked* and all of a sudden Cordelia was in the story. To my own person fic-demon, MaryBeth, who must have set up an auto-bot to e-mail me every week to demand this story. Disclaimers: Not mine, wouldn't torture them like this if they were, don't sue. Joss is God, and if he doesn't fix what's broken he's going to be in TROUBLE!!!! Praise, flames, chocolate and cute angsty vampires to lizbet@primenet.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Full of Grace ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He is aware of being restrained, chained down by flesh and iron to earth. His eyes sting from a blinding flash of light -- a flash that he both remembers and doesn't remember. Divided against himself, for a moment there seems to be two separate consciousnesses in his body. Then with a force that nearly destroys him, the two merge into one. A century or more passes before the pain -- physical, spiritual and psychic -- lessens enough to let him lift his head. Five figures surround him, one at each point of a pentagram scrawled on the ground. He looks up -- into her eyes. One moment, two passes. And then he throws back his head and screams his rage to the sky. A demon's howl, coming from a human's soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **The winter here is cold **And bitter **Chills us to the bone. The apartment was cold, musty. Disuse had left its marks in the dust on the floor, spiders spinning ragged lace in corners. He hadn't seen the place since he had turned around and left Buffy shaking and crying in the middle of the room. The blood in the old refrigerator had spoiled, making the enclosed, airless space smell like a butcher's shop, turning his stomach. The memories turned it more. **Haven't seen the sun for weeks **Too long, too far from home Drawing littered the desk and walls, drawings of his past. Somehow, after he met Buffy, he was able for the first time to resurrect the images of his family, friends, human life. For the first time in two centuries, he could look into his mother's eyes and remember her as the woman she had been, and not the broken corpse he had left her. Now her eyes stared down at him from the wall, accusing, the goddess Nemesis herself. **I feel just like I'm sinking **And I claw for solid ground. Angel scrubbed his face with his hands, clutching the thin thread of his control. Before, there had been nothing but rage. The demon had been furious that its merry devastation had been checked; the soul had been anguished at being ripped from its rest and returned to hell on earth. Within the vast confusion of the whys and wherefores, there had been no room for anything but anger. The shame had come later. **Pulled down by the undertow **Never knew I could feel so alone **Oh, darkness; I feel like letting go. He didn't have that blessed period of abeyance now. He knew exactly what he had done, to whom. He knew how much it would torment and destroy. And he had done it so cheerfully, so full of demonic pleasure. Every act, every moment, seen and imagined, had been a banquet for his senses, the faintest drop in the ocean of his hatred for the girl who had made him love again. The pain was a living thing, twisting in his belly, clawing its way out of his throat in a tortured scream. Blinded by pain and fury, he ripped the drawings from the wall, reduced the desk itself to deadly shards of splintered wood, shattered the glass case of Kwan Yin and the figure within, venting his fury at God and fate and himself on silent, dumb objects. Things that were unable to see, unable to care. Futilely beating his fists against the wall, he wanted to shatter it, himself, the world, to end the existence of anything and everything so that this moment itself could end. He should have learned by now that random destruction didn't help anyone. Slowly, his face pressed to the wall, he sank to the floor. Lost amidst the shards of glass and wood, the only sound were strangled, choked sobs of defeat. He no longer had the shell of nearly a century of solitude to protect him from the pain. It had been ripped away by the pity in the Slayer's eyes when she asked him if he knew what it was like to have a friend. Somehow, he thought that he was unlikely to regain that protection ever again. Scattered on the floor, his drawings faced him with a thousand accusing eyes. It was time to face the living ones. **If all of the strength **All of the courage **Come and lift me from this place **I know I can love you much better than this **Full of grace. **Full of grace, my love. The library was silent, dark except for a streak of light from one corner. He purposefully timed it so no one would be here but Giles. He couldn't face them all at the same time. He needed to do this one by one. Moving forward, he could see a figure hunched over the desk, finger tracing faded lines of text. Behind him was a cot, bedclothes rumbled and flung across its narrow, monkish width. Giles had not spent a night at his home since he had found his beloved lying dead there. Angel didn't blame him. Angel's hands curled into fists, fighting the urge to escape. This needed to be done. He needed to do this. Slowly, he moved forward until movement out of the corner of his eye caught Giles' attention. He turned sharply, then stumbled back when he looked through the window of his office and recognized the figure before him. Automatically, Giles reached for the long sword he kept with him at all times now. Then his mind overruled his fight instinct, recalling the spell, the ceremony, a soul returned. The hilt of the sword slid through his fingers and thumped gently back to his desk. "Angel." One word, uninflected and unemotional. Last time they had faced each other, alone, just the two of them, a baseball bat had been blazing in Giles' hand and anguished rage had burned in his eyes. Now those eyes were flat grey and empty, expressionless through the clear glass that separated them. "I wanted to thank you." Giles almost laughed, a little puff of air that had little of humor in it. "I hardly thought you would thank me for what I did." "You stopped me from...," Angel paused and gritted his teeth, continuing with honesty rather than evasion, "destroying everything I touched. I am in your debt for that, if for nothing else." "I did it for Buffy, and for the people in this town, and all those who you would have gone on to destroy," Giles said low and clearly. "I know." There wasn't much more to be said. An apology would be a hideous joke, a promise to make it up would fall as flat as the impossibility it was. "I'm leaving." Giles' hand jerked, slightly. After a moment, he said, "I think that would be for the best. Where will you go?" After a moment, Angel answered, "Telling anyone would defeat the purpose of leaving." Giles acknowledged that by barely inclining his head. After a moment, Angel dropped the slender folder he carried onto a table and silently left the library. It wasn't until much later that Giles moved out into the open part of the library. He opened the folder to find a drawing of Jenny, eyes alive and lively, laughing as she coaxed him into dancing with her the night the Master died. There was humor and personality in her cheerful, challenging grin, beauty and vulnerability in the fragile curve of her neck. And when she looked up at her unseen dance partner, there was love in her eyes. Giles stared at it for several long moments. Then he gently closed the folder and put it aside. *** Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html * * Sunnydale Slayers http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html Lizbet -- lizbet@primenet.com ~ Lizbetann@aol.com "Carpe Speedo?" -- "<*thud*>" -- Kiki and Celli "The hell with it. You can all read Typo." -- Perri "Only you could make fandom sound like a carnal experience. And a violent one at that." -- Chris ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Subject: BUFFYFIC: Full of Grace (2/4) Date: 11 May 1998 07:50:00 -0700 **It's better this way **I say **Haven't seen this place before **Where everything we say and do **Hurts us all the more... A path of light seeped out from Willow's upstairs bedroom, spilling across the grass. The home had been barred to him, but that hardly mattered. Angel leaned against a tree in the front yard and worked on his courage again. He had no intention of going in there. What he needed to say could be said through an open door. "What the hell are you doing here?" a furious voice demanded. Angel turned to see Xander advancing on him, fists clenched and jaw leading the way. Spreading his hands to show that they were empty, Angel shrugged. "I'm leaving, don't worry." "Stay away from her. Stay away from Buffy. You've hurt them enough." His hands dropped limply against his sides. "I know. I know exactly what I've done." Tired, he rested his head against the tree behind him, closing his eyes. He opened them to find Xander staring at him, fury beginning to be replaced by confusion. "It was easier when I was the bad guy, wasn't it? Really simple. Sorry. Nothing's that simple any more." Shrugging away from the tree, he started to walk away. Xander caught his arm as he went by. "You *hurt* her," he burst out. "Both of them. How could you *do* that?" Bewildered anger shaded his voice. Of all of them, only Xander had ever seemed to understand that the demon had always been a part of him. The others -- even Giles, once he was accustomed to the presence of a vampire in his inner circle -- seemed to see the soul and the vampire as interchangeable parts. Why had Xander been the one to always be aware of the demon? Even then, they'd fought side by side. They'd locked horns equally with each other and whoever was attacking Buffy at that moment. Xander's grudge against him had never interfered with their ability to fight together. "I did it because I wanted to," Angel said finally. It was the only answer he had. Of all of them, Xander was the only one he had never struck directly against. It hadn't been needed. He had known that Xander would suffer more by having those he loved suffer. The quiet answer seemed to enrage the teenaged boy. Without another word, he hauled off and hit Angel. Staggering back, Angel was off-balance. He fell to his knees with the next punch, fighting against fighting back. He let Xander pummel him for as long as the demon would stand, and then caught the boy's fist in his hand. Xander tugged against Angel's hold futilely, maddened by the fact that he had only been able to beat him up because Angel allowed it. Angel pulled himself to his feet, still holding Xander's fist. Knowing the uselessness of speaking, he still tried. "You can't protect them. You'll never be able to protect them enough. Either of them. All of them. They are going to get hurt. And you get to watch." He took a deep breath, wincing at the slash of pain in his ribs. Xander wrenched his hand away and backed up several feet. "You son of a bitch," he said, but with little heat. "Yeah. That's what I am. I tried. Xander, believe me... I tried. I should have left before any of this happened. But I didn't." Xander squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I don't understand it," he said finally, sounding both much too young and much too old at the same time. "Any of it." "You're better off this way. Just... keep an eye on her." "I thought you said I couldn't protect her," Xander asked. The slight flinch of the vampire's eyelids was the only indication of a direct hit. "It never stopped me from trying." Xander opened his mouth to say something... and sat there, speechless in understanding. Before he could think of any answer to give, Angel had left him alone. **It's just that we stay too long **In the same old sickly skin It was several long moments before there was any movement in the bedroom in response to Angel's gentle tap. He'd begun to wonder if Willow had not heard or was ignoring it when the balcony door opened. They both started back slightly when their eyes met. Willow recovered first, stepping back to lift her hand and start to invite him in. But her hand froze in mid-air and she closed her mouth, looking up at him anxiously, memories of pain and fear paralyzing her. Angel shook his head, taking a step back away from the light from the windows. "I shouldn't come in. I just wanted to stop by and see... how you were." Willow nodded, a bit hesitantly. "I'm okay. I mean, after that last night and all, but... I'm okay. And... you? Are you okay?" Willow's voice was breathless, and her hands twisted in the hem of her t-shirt, but her eyes were large and steady on his, and wouldn't let him lie. "No. I'm not." Nodding, Willow bit her lip. "I guess it's silly to think that you'd be okay. But you will, right? I mean, you got okay last time this happened and..." "Willow." "What?" Her hands still twisted nervously and she kept her eyes fixed on him as if when she looked away he would be gone. "I came here tonight to say good-bye." "Good-bye?" Willow blinked. "For how long?" When Angel didn't answer, she blinked again, harder. "Good-bye? Like, that's it? You're leaving? For good?" "It's for the best." "No, it's not!" Impatiently, Willow backhanded the tears slipping down her cheeks and took a step forward again. "You can't say that! You can't believe that! After everything that's happened, how can you just go, 'It's for the best', huh? Why does it have to be for the best?" Behind her, light shone through a fish tank, drained of water and with an artful rock garden arranged in it. "Because I killed your friend, your teacher." It was incredibly hard to face those damp, pleading eyes, but Angel kept his on Willow's. "Because I nearly snapped your neck and would have used your death for no other reason than to make Buffy suffer." "But that wasn't you," Willow denied immediately. "Yes, it was." Willow opened her mouth a few times, trying to speak. Finally, almost inaudibly, she whispered, "It was?" "I'm sorry." Angel hated how useless those words were, but he had nothing else to say. "I wish that I could make it so that it had never happened. I can't." Willow swallowed. "So you're leaving? Is that how you're going to make it like it never happened?" "It's the only thing I can do." When Willow didn't speak again, just stared at him with her big eyes, Angel finally turned to leave. "Angel?" Without turning back to her, Angel stopped. "Don't go." That made him turn back. Willow had stepped fully from the shelter of her house, clinging lightly to the door frame. Slowly, he smiled, one corner of his mouth turning up. "Thank you," he whispered. And left. *** Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html * * Sunnydale Slayers http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html Lizbet -- lizbet@primenet.com ~ Lizbetann@aol.com "Carpe Speedo?" -- "<*thud*>" -- Kiki and Celli "The hell with it. You can all read Typo." -- Perri "Only you could make fandom sound like a carnal experience. And a violent one at that." -- Chris ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Subject: BUFFYFIC: Full of Grace (3/4) Date: 11 May 1998 07:50:42 -0700 **Pulled down by the undertow **Never thought I could feel so alone **Oh, darkness; I feel like letting go. Buffy wasn't at her house. She wasn't at the Bronze. She wasn't skulking around the graveyard, looking to kick some demonic ass. She wasn't at the school. Every hour that went by that he couldn't find her made his resolve slip, made it harder. He wanted -- needed -- to get this done this night. If he didn't, he doubted he could ever go. Down by the playground he spotted a familiar red car. Wryly, he shrugged. He'd spoken or intended to speak to everyone else who had been with him the night he had his soul restored. Might as well be thorough about the matter. Cordelia sat on one of the swings, her dark head tilted against the chain, idly staring up at the stars. She was completely oblivious to his presence until he scuffed his feet in the sand lining the playground. At the slight noise, she jumped, nearly losing her perch on the narrow seat. When she saw who it was, she nearly strangled herself on the chain in an attempt to get away. "Uh... uh... demon begone!" she intoned, holding her fingers up in a cross. "Cordelia, I'm not going to hurt you. Remember? The spell?" Slowly, Cordelia lowered her hands, still looking suspicious. "Yeah, but what if it didn't work?" "It worked. Believe me." "Oh." Relaxed, she sat down on the warped, rusted merry-go-round. "Good." He claimed her vacated seat on the swing, rocking slightly, letting the chains squeak. "You shouldn't be out alone at night." Cordelia shrugged, picking a one of the faded remnants of paint left on the carousel. "I guess... this was a place that I was safe when I was a kid. It never occurred to me that it would be anything else but safe." Angel shook his head. How many times was she going to nearly die before she realized that she was in danger. "You need to be more careful." "Careful," Cordelia said scornfully. "What good is careful? Would careful have saved Kevin? Would it have saved Miss Calendar? You don't think about being careful until you don't think you are safe anymore. "So be careful now." "Why? I mean, it's over, right? You're... back, the bad guys got blown away. The movie's over, and I'm going home." "As long as you're around Buffy-- " "Well, I don't intend to be around Buffy," Cordelia cut in. "So I guess that solves that little tricky problem. I'm going to get as far away as fast as I can from Buffy and her little freak show." Pushing off from the sandy ground, Cordelia pulled her legs into the merry-go-round. Wobbling drunkenly, it carried her around and around, so that Angel could only catch glimpses of the top of her head, bowed over her bent knees, on each revolution. The carousel drifted to a stop, leaving Cordelia in profile. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and was holding on for dear life. It would have been kinder to get up and leave her alone. But he hardly had been kind that night. "Do you think it will be that easy? Do you think that you could leave them? And if you did, that you could forget?" Cordelia lifted her head slightly, but didn't turn toward him, staring blankly out into space. "You can't go back to when you didn't know. You can't forget what has happened. You can leave, physically at least, avoid them, pretend." She still didn't react. Sighing and cursing his meddlesome helpful urge, Angel rose to his feet. "No matter what, you're always a part of them." He stood there long enough to see the sheen of tears on Cordelia's cheeks before turning for his apartment. "Hey, Angel," she called after him. He paused without looking back. "Ever listen to your own advice?" *** Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html * * Sunnydale Slayers http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html Lizbet -- lizbet@primenet.com ~ Lizbetann@aol.com "Carpe Speedo?" -- "<*thud*>" -- Kiki and Celli "The hell with it. You can all read Typo." -- Perri "Only you could make fandom sound like a carnal experience. And a violent one at that." -- Chris ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Elizabeth Ann Lewis Subject: BUFFYFIC: Full of Grace (4/4) Date: 11 May 1998 07:51:45 -0700 **If all of the strength **All of the courage **Come and lift me from this place **I know I can love you much better than this **Full of grace. It didn't take much to pack up a life. There wasn't much he needed. Objects retained memories, and those were what he was trying to leave behind. The tangible evidence of his life was packed into one duffel bag. The rest... he was resigned to carry it, whether he wanted to or not. She was waiting for him when he opened the door to his apartment. Her hair was skimmed tightly back from her face and her eyes were large and stern in her face. For several moments they simply faced each other, staring. Angel wondered if somehow they couldn't just get through this without saying a word. They both knew what the other was thinking. Words couldn't heal the scars, fix what was broken. All words could do was open new wounds. "I heard you were looking for me." Buffy broke the silence without moving. Her stance was deceptively casual, hands in the back pockets of her tight black pants, head tilted back and to one side. Angel knew better. She'd set herself up as the bait to lure him into the spell that had restored him with the same careless grace. Her eyes never left his face, not even to flick over to the duffel bag he carried. "Who told you?" "Who didn't?" Buffy countered. "So. You're leaving?" "I have to. I can't... I can't stay here." His hand tightened convulsively on the bag he carried, searching for control again. "If I stay here, no one will ever forget. They'd see me and remember. I won't do that to them." Buffy didn't react for several moments. Then she swallowed and gave a short, tight nod. "I understand." Still, she didn't move. The girl who had once kissed him farewell with aching tenderness and then, unable and unwilling to admit that any goodbye could be forever, whispered, "See you around?" didn't exist any more. She believed in forever now, and knew how lonely it was. Angel couldn't stand still and stare at her any more. In another moment, he would never be able to leave. Without another word, he brushed past her to go up the steps. "I'm sorry." For a moment he thought the words were his. He'd promised himself he wouldn't say them, not to her. Those two words were so obscenely inadequate. But the voice had been hers. He turned back to face her. Her back was to him now, her head bent as she stared at her hands. Slowly, his duffel bag slipped from his grasp and thumped gently to the concrete floor. "What did you say?" "I'm sorry for what I did to you." She didn't raise her head or look at him. "I was... stupid. Selfish. Careless." The world was tilting under his feet, making him dizzy and sick. "I killed your friends. I tortured you and everyone you loved. And you are apologizing to *me*?" "It's my fault." Buffy finally turned and looked at him. Tears streaked down her cheeks, but her eyes were steady and determined. "I wanted... everything. You warned me, but I wouldn't listen. And I destroyed you and everyone around me because I was blind and greedy and--" The poise was cracking, and she closed her eyes tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered again. "Don't say that!" Startled by the venom in Angel's voice, Buffy opened her eyes and stepped back. Angel stalked her that one step, moving forward with his clenched hands holding tightly onto his control. "I hated you. Do you understand that? I was sick with it. Do you want to know why?" He didn't bother waiting for her answer. "Because I still loved you. Every moment. You made me feel, and I hated you for that. I wanted you to suffer as much as I was suffering." Buffy flinched and turned her head aside. "I know." He recoiled as though she had struck him. "And you did." She nodded slowly, still not looking at him. "Yeah. I did." "I wish..." His voice broke and he paused a moment for starting again. "I was torn in two. I remember the half of me that wanted to destroy you. I wish I remembered the part that wanted to protect you as clearly. It -- I -- must have watched you, tried to protect you, all those months. But I don't remember," he ended on a whisper. After a moment, he clenched his jaw. "Why don't you hate me?" he demanded. At that, she looked up again. "I do." He absorbed the blow without a word. After a moment, he had collected himself to speak. "I knew... I knew from the beginning I would hurt you. If I had known how much..." Disgusted with himself, Angel rubbed his eyes with his fists. "Who am I kidding? I couldn't have left you alone. I tried." "I didn't want you to," Buffy said softly. There didn't seem to be anything left to say. After a moment, Buffy reached into her pocket, fumbling slightly. The silver claddaugh ring caught a beam of light and flashed brightly for one moment. Then it turned in her fingers and gleamed dully in the dim light. **I know I can love you much better than this. She held up her hand, the silver ring cradled in her palm. Their eyes met and held. Slowly, he closed his hand over hers, feeling the ring press between their skin, an endless circle, never beginning, never ending. When he slid his hand away, the ring was in his own hand. He closed his fist over it tightly, feeling the edges bite into his skin. Loyalty, friendship and love. Each one he had betrayed. Closing his eyes, he turned and walked away without a word. **It's better this way. The End Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98: * An Alternate Viewpoint http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html * * Sunnydale Slayers http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html Lizbet -- lizbet@primenet.com ~ Lizbetann@aol.com "Carpe Speedo?" -- "<*thud*>" -- Kiki and Celli "The hell with it. You can all read Typo." -- Perri "Only you could make fandom sound like a carnal experience. And a violent one at that." -- Chris ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Erika R" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Tear In My Hand Date: 11 May 1998 11:06:53 -0700 Tear In My Hand AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place sometime after the kids have graduated. For some odd reason I felt the need to write something like this. I wasn't exactly sure who it was going to be until I typed her name below. Always love feedback! Lots of it 8) DISCLAIMER: The characters seen on the show BtVS belong to Joss "is a genius" Whedon. I mean no infringement. The title of this piece is taken off Tori Amos, Little Earthquakes album. The musical quote is by Velvet Chain and is lifted off their album 'Warm' "A love came like a hurricane Then left it's devastation." -Velvet Chain She awoke to the unusual feel of his embrace. As the sun slowly rose from it's sleep, her own eyes widened in horror at the memory of last night. Dear God, what had they done? There had been the announcement. Then there had been a party. And then there had been drinking. Bringing her hand to her mouth Willow shook her head, "Oh God." She breathed, "No." Looking over at the sleeping boy, he looked so peaceful. So full of hope, so full of promises for tomorrow. One night of unforgettable passion and she, the one they had all trusted, had killed that hope and promise for him. Willow remembered all the thoughts she had, had when him and Cordelia announced their engagement. Xander would never be hers now. She had grown to accept that and had even moved on to other boys. Oh God, Oz. Tears formed in Willow's eyes. He will be so devastated and hurt. She could already see his reaction in her mind. His light hazel eyes turning dark as the realization hit them, then they would lower and he would nod saying he understood. Xander groaned as the sun hit him in the face forcing him to turn away from the window. "Cordy?" he mumbled. Willow closed her eyes and then opened them. Cordy? She had betrayed her. Cordelia had come to love and care for Willow, treating her as an equal after all the years of treating her like dirt. A small part of Willow's conscious mumbled, 'That's what she deserves.' No. Cordelia didn't deserve to be hurt like this. Not by her best friend and fiance. She didn't deserve this. Xander groaned again. Willow knew he would be alert soon and everything would come back to him. Then they would have to decide how to . . . Willow wiped the tears that had fallen, angrily. Dammit. How could they have been so stupid? Reaching over she shook his shoulder, noticing it's firmness, "Xander." "mmmm?" He rolled back over facing her as his eyes opened. Blinking he took in her face and his eyebrows lowered, "Willow? What are. . .?" Then it all came back to him. She watched as his eyes widened in the same horror hers had. He remembered telling the gang that him and Cordelia. . .oh god it hurt just to even think about her. . .were engaged to be married. He remembered Willow's sad look and her looking away with tears in her eyes as she whispered her 'Congratulations' Then they had gone to that party at a College friends. Xander had watched as Willow drank more then her usual sip. He was just trying to walk her home safely when she had tripped. He caught her then just held her. His arms around her, comforting her. She had looked up at him with those eyes he had come to love and trust so many years ago, then he had lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but had changed everything. A few minutes later Willow had unlocked the door to hers and Buffy's apartment and led him to her room. No words were spoken. "Willow?" He sat up, his back now to her. "Xander." She whispered his name again, the tears once again found a way down her cheeks. He wanted to turn to her, to take her in his arms. to hold her. But he couldn't. "No." he ripped the covers off as he jumped out of bed and threw on his clothes. "Xander? What are you doing?" He turned to her and she gasped. His eyes were black, full of anger and hate. But as they took in her look of fear on her face they softened. "Will. . .I. . ." he reached out a hand and touched her face gently. She nodded, understanding. He regretted what they had done but he was sorry for regretting it. He weakly smiled then turned to leave. "Xander? What are you doing here?" Buffy questioned as he walked past her sitting on the couch. "I, uh, um Willow got sick last night and I ended up crashing here. See ya later." With that he slammed out the door. Buffy stood up and walked to Willow's doorway, "Willow you okay?" Willow looked up at her friend, the tears not wanting to stop. "Oh god, Will, what's wrong? What happened?" Buffy rushed to her side taking the small red-head into her arms. "Buffy. We've destroyed the people we love." * * * Oz left town a few days after I told him. He reacted exactly the way I had predicted. He told me he loved me and always would but that he couldn't stand to be second in my heart. Cordelia came to me a few days later. I let her in the empty apartment and we sat on the couch together. Her face was hard but I could see the pain in her eyes. She looked up at me and lowered her eyebrows, "Willow. . .I. . " her voice cracked which seemed to make her even more angry. I didn't know what to say, so I just waited. Cordelia stood up, looking down on me, "I was supposed to come here today to ask you to be my maid of honor." I looked away, tears were finding a way down my face again. "But instead I am telling you how. . .you. How could you? I would have expected something like this from Harmony and her friends. . or. . .or even from Buffy," She swung her arm towards Buffy's room. "But from. . .you. You, Willow! Xander tells me not to blame you. But we both know you are more of a blame then he is." I nodded. "Well Willow, I can forgive but I can't forget. And I will never forget how you were the one person I had come to trust. You were the one person I thought was my true friend." Cordelia picked up her purse and opened the door to leave. "Willow, you were my only friend." I watched her face soften as she turned to leave. There may be demons and Vampires in this town but there are worse things then that. Friends. ***End*** Free web-based email, Forever, From anywhere! http://www.mailexcite.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Four -- (1/1) Date: 11 May 1998 14:35:12 EDT This is chapter four of thirteen. Please contact me at KylenRevik@aol.com for any inquiries regarding missing pieces and I'll mail them to you. Also, please send any and all comments or questions to KylenRevik@aol.com, as well. Thank you. ~ "Part Four: Shift" Place: Sunnydale University. Time: November 20th, 2002. Wandering across the lawn of Sunnydale U's main strip, Buffy was madly trying to put her thoughts back in order. She had been thinking about her plans for four night's hence, when she had crashed into an older guy-- not too old, and slightly attractive, but still older-- and lost her train of thought. She shivered a little as a cool breeze swept across the grass, then continued on her way-- she was meeting Xander and Willow in the caf‚ by the theater department, and hopefully Cordelia would be able to get a break from designing costumes for the production of "Tommy" the college drama department was putting on. The walk was only a few minutes long, since she'd cut through the computer science building, and she arrived just in time to see Xander and Willow setting up a three-handed game of go fish. She dropped her books next to her chair, picking up her hand. "You two fix the deck?" she asked, only half joking. "Nah," Xander said, grinning from across the table, "'cause I could kick your butt without cheating." Willow rolled her eyes, but let the two friends make cracks at each other. Buffy shook her head. "You need to get your hair cut," she said, "and give me all your twos." Xander shook his head, letting his hair-- which he'd been letting grow for nearly three months-- shake in his face. "None. You don't like the hair?" Buffy pulled a card from the pile and shook her head. "It's too long," she said, reaching out for the hair that covered his forehead and dangled into his line of sight. "I'd say you should chop it off..." She leaned across the table, reaching toward his hair. "Right...about--" "There you are!" Cordelia called from the entrance to the caf‚'s patio. Buffy turned and waved for Cordelia to come over, and Xander dragged a chair up for his fianc‚. Buffy couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy when her eyes caught the sparkle of Cordelia's diamond engagement ring in the sunlight. For some reason, every time she saw Xander and Cordelia together, she was struck by a feeling of incredible...longing. Aching inside her. That was part of why she was going to confront Angelus, she told herself firmly as Willow got a set of threes, and Cordelia snaked an arm around Xander's. They really were the perfect couple, Buffy told herself, and refocused on her cards. A half hour later, on the third hand of the game, Buffy abruptly sniffed the air. Willow raised an eyebrow. "Buffy? Is everything, you know, okay?" Buffy nodded. "Yeah..." she trailed off, looking over at Xander. "Hey, are you wearing cologne or something?" Xander shook his head. "No," he said, as though it were the oddest question he'd ever been asked. "Why on earth would I be wearing _cologne_?" "Because it makes you smell nice," Cordelia purred. "Not that you don't smell nice already--" "Be_cause_," Buffy interrupted, "I thought I smelled something similar, earlier...weird." She shook her head. "Never mind. Just one of those things." The other three gave her an odd look. "Really," she said. "Xander, your turn. "Okay," he said. "Buffy, give me all your sixes." With a glare, Buffy forked over. * Place: Sunnydale University, Library. Time: November 20th, 2002. "Buffy," Giles spoke up from behind her, "where do you think you're going?" Keys to the storeroom in hand, Buffy turned back with a slight, guilty smile. "I...what?" He nodded at the keys in her hand, and she smiled slightly. "Oh, _those_!" she said. "I thought we had agreed, you were going to ask me about borrowing books from now on." "We did?" She put on her best 'I'm-an-innocent-little-girl' look, wondering if it would work. Of course, it didn't. Giles had been dealing with her for years now, puppy-dog eyes had lost their effectiveness. Unfortunately. She sighed, seeing in his eyes that she wasn't going to get away with it, this time. "Giles," she said, hamming up the politeness to an almost ridiculous degree, "may I please borrow your keys so I can get into the storeroom?" Giving her a semi-satisfied smile, Giles nodded. "Of course," he said. "Just please make sure you don't spill anything in there this time." Buffy felt heat creeping into her cheeks. "You _know_ I didn't mean to drop my coffee cup--" "Buffy," Giles interrupted, "I was kidding." He sighed. "Is everything all right?" "Yeah," she replied quickly. "Everything's fine. I just have a few things I need to take care of. Which I am now going to take care of, thanks." Not waiting for an answer, she turned back to the door and slipped the keys into the lock, turning it and pushing the door open. Now that Giles was working at the university instead of at the high school, he had more space, and he kept his vampire hunting paraphernalia locked away in the library's storeroom. Not wanting to grant free access to the student body, Giles kept the door locked and asked that the Slayer and her friends check with him before going in-- just in case anyone happened to be around and wondering what they were doing snooping around behind locked doors. Stepping between the first two rows of books, Buffy moved about eight feet into the room. Then the shelf on her left took a left turn into another short row. At the end of that row, the shelf broke off and she stepped into the small space where Xander and Oz had moved a table in for the group to sit at when, invariably, they would have meetings regarding the latest problems with Sunnydale's undead population. Today, the problems she had to think about were nowhere near such a grand scale. She just wanted to have some time to herself, to think. And to research. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a long, black candle, then left it on the table and went to pull the brown book she had borrowed from Giles a few days ago off the shelf. The page she had marked was still folded over-- though she had debated whether or not she should leave such an obvious hint as to what she was planning, she had finally decided she didn't have any reason to think any of her friends would randomly select this one, rather innocuous reference book off the shelf, and she was safer marking the page than relying on her memory to keep track of what page she was on. There was a rustling of pages as she opened the book and set it down on the table, rereading the words she had looked over so many times already. At this point, the book read, it is imperative that the caster of the curse be acutely aware of her surroundings. The candle must be lit immediately after the second stanza of the chant, and the failure to do this will result in the failure of the Buffy sighed, glanced over the rest of the page, then bit her lip and shook her head. There was no way she would be able to memorize this. For a few seconds, she debated taking the entire book with her. Then she shook her head. Giles had made it clear that he didn't want verified books on the occult floating around campus, and if he caught her with one of them he would insist upon her giving him a satisfactory explanation. She took a breath, then grasped the upper corner of the book and tore sharply downward. Quickly, she placed the book back on the shelf and moved to leave, slipping the sheet into her pocket. She stopped moving as she heard someone pushing the door open. Her heartbeat quickened, and she did her best to put on a nonchalant expression. If this was Giles, she couldn't look guilty or make it seem as though there were some sort of problem. But it wasn't Giles. Two adults walked in, a man and a woman, and there was something vaguely familiar about each of them. Buffy swallowed. "Excuse me," she said, "but what are you doing in here?" Neither answered her for a moment, and Buffy fought to try and figure out where it was she knew them from. Her mind ran up against a brick wall. The man reached out for her, and she took a step back. "Uh, no," she said. "Excuse me." She thought she heard the man call her name as she shoved past them and ran out of the library. ~ All comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aisha Bewley Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Broken Bonds Date: 11 May 1998 16:54:02 -0400 I really like this story and am eager to see where it goes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 14) Date: 11 May 1998 15:13:20 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 14) Drusilla awoke with a smile. Stretching her arms out, she went to slowly stand. Her eyes rippled open, pushing the still sleeping lids awake. Her idle glance widened in shock as she looked at her surroundings, and gradually she remembered where she was. Her jaw nearly dropped. Looking around, Angelus was no where to be found. A small bit of piece to know they *hadn't* slept together. Her mother had told her not to stay out late. She had stayed all night! Drusilla stood up and groaned in pain, taking her less then a second to realize she had slept in her church clothes last night. She wondered tediously how she had even managed to fall sleep in her painfully corseted dress, and found, that as she remembered the night with Angelus. The talking, the laughing, the time spent... She could easily fall asleep on a bed of needles, so long as he were there. There was no light coming in from the thick curtain, She had no perception of what time it may be. Not knowing if it was still the day! ~ His eyes darted from unnatural sleep. Her heartbeat had sped up. He'd been listening absently to the peaceful pace, but as of now he knew she was awake. He turned himself over, lying on his back. He had to blink his eyes at least a dozen times to convince them to stay open. It'd been a while since he'd woken up during the daytime. But then, if Darla had taught him one thing, it was that a vampire could stay awake for large amounts of time without even thinking of sleep.. His eyes light up as he remembered the particular lesson, and stood up from his make shift bed. ~ She was half way down the stairs, looking around, almost franticly wondering where Angelus was, wondering where she was, having not paid attention when he led her through the woods. She saw him. letting out a deep breath. "Angelus!" She whispered loudly. Angelus nearly laughed at the scene before him, she looked so ragged, and frantic. But still beautiful, still just as perfect as she had been the night before, and the night before that. "Hmm? Your up early, I would have thought you'd sleep through the day." Drusilla suddenly realizing what she was doing, began to smooth out her hair and dress. "I... Umm... I... Umm.. I" her stuttering was so self-conscious... "Woke up" Angelus finished with a smile. There eyes locked again for one more precious moment, each feeling completely safe in the others presence, each hoping for something more. Each having a completely different out look on the situation entirely. "I have to be getting home now" She began to panic. She was at a guys house, looking like a common whore. What would her mother think? What did Angelus think? ~ Beautiful. Soap bubble thoughts exploded once again, and he began to wonder if it would happen whenever she was around. Not that it was a bad thing. Kind of interrupted his plans a bit, but how he loved his precious kid. She should be high upon the largest cloud so all the world may gaze at her beauty. True heaven. But she spoke now, and expected an answer. Go home? The thought made him laugh, what was he to do, go out in the sun? Parents may be worried, yadda, yadda, yadda. "I'm afraid I lack the coachmen to take you anywhere, fair Drusilla, but if we wait a bit longer I may take you home? We could walk." ~ Her face heated up and she was sure her face was scarlet. But he wanted to walk her home, to spend more time with her even after the spectacle she had made of herself last night, and this morning, right now. She nodded. If she came home with a man, her mother would expect that she'd been safe all night. No worries. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 15) Date: 11 May 1998 15:52:26 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 15) "Ahh, but from what you told me, it does not seem so awful." Drusilla smiled as Angelus moved another branch from her way "You don't live with them!" She laughed. They both laughed. She felt so free. That she didn't have to fit some perfect mold, have some perfect face, perfect manners, perfect ways. That she could be herself, imperfect Drusilla "But I do not mean them ill will. My sister is so darling, her smile could melt your heart." ~ He raised his eyebrow, wondering if it would be a bit *too* forward of him to reach for her hand. They were almost there. At her house. He could have found his way here with his eyes closed. But he allowed Drusilla to lead him, as though he'd never been to her house. "I cannot give my mother marks for her minds, but she's so incredibly gentle. The nicest lady your ever to see." He smiled "oh! Turn here." She smiled back. "I've talked enough for one night. Tell me of your family." He looked down, pausing for a moment. The tension was beautiful. "My parents are dead" ~ His words stopped her heart. She hadn't meant to upset him, or cause him to mourn. "I...I'm so sorry." She followed his gaze to the ground. ~ It wasn't that he cared. Just wondered leisurely what her reaction would be. He wondered again what her expression would be when she found her fathers body. "Where're...here." She said as though afraid to speak "I've upset you" He stopped outside of their families quarters. "I'm sorry Dru. Don't think ill of me" Her eyes flew open "Never" She shook her head. "Was my fault. I shouldn't have.." "How could you know?" There was a pause, as Drusilla considered. She looked up into his eyes, they gazed into hers. And stupid as it may seem, she could see the compassion, see the love in them. And for such a brief second she thought.. she hoped for just that instant, that he might kiss her? But his head turned away. Shyly? "I look forward to seeing you again." he smiled taking her warm hand in his cold. She nodded, as he kissed her palm, turning over her hand. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 16) Date: 11 May 1998 16:21:07 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 16) She smiled watching him leave down the road. Her stomach just might have exploded from that tension. Oh! But how wonderful! Her head was spinning with glee. She looked at the palm of her hand, thinking how odd it was. She could feel the exact place his lips had touched. If this was love, she wanted more! So much more! She turned to go inside, suddenly realizing, (as she hadn't noticed all night with Angelus) how very chilled it was. The minute she stepped inside her house the nurse came running towards her. "Where have you been madam?!" such words hissed, worried sick as Dru could tell. "You're mothers been so frantic, oh my! We fear the worst! I--" "That'll be enough nurse." Her mother was walking towards her, looking absolutely exasperated, though she managed to control her adrenaline. "Where have you been Drusilla?" Drusilla took off her coat handing it to the nurse, stalling. "I've been with Angelus." Calm, cool, knowing. Her voice sounded so much braver than her insides. "In his bed?" She hissed. Drusilla's eyes widened in shock.. She refused to look down at the ground, she'd show no shame though she had been in his bed.. But under the circumstances and the implication she felt in the right to say "No, we talked" "All night?" Dru nodded. ~ She was taking her daughter at face value. But if she knew her daughter at all, she knew that Drusilla wouldn't sleep with a man, unworthy, unmarried! She let out a deep sigh. Her face lightened up. Drusilla had met a man! And such a handsome fellow! She would have to talk with him, to understand his intentions of course, but so much more. Giddily she grabbed hold of her wrist jumping about and turning her daughter to the couch. ~ She wasn't shocked at all at her mothers turn of character, she was well used to this charade Isabelle loved to play. But she was tired, and didn't feel like answering questions.... Something shook in her. Pushing down her heart, till she felt it might burst, and then it did, she was sure of its' shatter and saw a glimpse of the demon, soaked in blood. The one she no longer could label and angel. "Where's father?" -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VampsAnon-Step three -Acceptance (1/7) by Andrea Date: 11 May 1998 16:50:15 PDT Title: Vampires Anonymous -Step six - Acceptance Author: Andrea Newbery e-mail: anewbery@hotmail.com Distribution: sure, as long as I know where. Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: everything up to now, but nothing specific after Passion Summary: Spike angst. This story is set immediatly after Vampires Anonymous. It started out being a Spike and Angel road trip, but Spike kept insisting I explain how he dealt with getting his soul back. If you haven’t read Vampires Anonymous and would like to, please e-mail me and I will send it to you. If you don’t want to read it, you can still read this one. All you need to know is that when Willow restored Angel’s soul she restored the souls of all the vampires in the factory at the time. And the scooby gang formed a support group to help the vampires adjust. Disclaimer: The characters of Angel, Spike et al. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB and whoever else… No copyright infringement intended. Please don’t sue me I’m already up to my neck in debt! Feedback: Please...good, bad, whatever! "Hi my name is Angel and I have a soul." Spike stared at the front of the room, fingers clenching his cup. His eyes narrowed and he barely held back a snort of disbelief. The anger rose through his body, the demon urging it on. He swallowed and shook his head, his thoughts raging. That's it. That do-good vampire has upstaged me for the last time. His chair practically vibrated with rage. This is MY night. Well, mine and Dru's. Angel can't be doing this again. The same old angst-ridden, oh-so-guilty Angel, who only has to drop his shoulders to command everyone's attention. He has done nothing to deserve everyone's respect. Nothing at all. I, on the other hand, have been turning my world upside down to make amends for all the stuff I did before. So he helps the slayer. He doesn't do it to make up for anything like the rest of us. He does it cause he's sleeping with her. That's the problem with him, no matter what good deeds I do or how well I adjust to being a good guy, Angel is always better. I guess by virtue of the fact that the slayer loves him. I wonder if he ever told her he slept with my girlfriend during his 'change'. Probably. He is forever going on about all the horrible things he has done. Like the rest of us have never done anything horrible? And the ' I should never be forgiven' stuff he's always going on about. It's enough to make me want to endure the guilt of driving a stake into his heart. Does he ever listen to anyone? It wasn't our fault, our souls were not in control of our actions. Yadda Yadda Yadda, get over it! It's his girlfriend and her gang preaching the stuff. It's not like I'm trying to convince him of it. Everyone felt guilty when our souls were first restored, but I'm not going to waste the rest of my life crying over spilt blood. Like I always say, let pretty boy have his angst, I'm having fun. Not that I'm having fun right now, the rest of this night isn't going to be exactly as I had planned it. Though whatever does anymore? Since our 'change', life has become something of an experiment, which if done in a lab would have resulted in several small fires and one indescribably awful stench. Too bad it was done in my life. Spike could feel the ridges threatening to appear on his forehead. He reached out to grab Dru's hand to calm himself but she pulled away, still fascinated by Angel after all this time. What did that guy have anyway? Why was he so fascinating? Spike swallowed, disgusted suddenly by the taste of cow's blood and cake lingering in his mouth. It was so unfair, really, because he had dealt with his guilt he was somehow less than Angel. Like not dealing with it was better. He suffered after his soul was restored. Done more than suffer; he actually tried to end it, to end his existence. The pain had been so horrible, feeling bad for all the things he had done. The only thing that kept him going, in the first weeks, had been Dru. He had a responsibility to her. She was the one thing he hadn't done wrong. Even as a demon he always tried to do right by her. He held onto that when the pain of his reality got too bad. But after the first few weeks, after the first meetings, listening to innocents speak about forgiveness, the pain became almost unbearable. At one time or another he attempted to kill the whole lot of them or at least wanted to. And they forgave him. Not even forgave, absolved. It wasn't his fault. Too bad they didn't have the memories of the demons' pleasure running in surround sound through their heads. They had no way to understand what it was like. He didn't understand how Angel could have done it, could have lived with what he had done. For a hundred years when he couldn't imagine living with his memories for another month. And he had never been as vile as Angel, not even at his very worst. He finally decided to end it. Knowing the slayer and her gang would take care of Dru, he got into his car, that he actually had to pay for, and took off. Planning to drive into the sunlight, instead he drove into the only salvation he would probably ever know. Spike looked at Angel still running off at the mouth and slipped into his memories of that time. He remembered driving until almost dawn, then spotting a rundown church at the end of a gravel lane. It sat inviting him in. He laughed thinking it only fitting his life should end there. Parking the car he walked up to the doors and pulled on one of the handles. He remembered his surprise that it wasn't locked. Walking into the lobby he stared down the aisle to the altar. He looked around at the wooden pews covered in dust and the blood-red carpet worn and fading. Dropping his head into his hands he started to moan. He stumbled blindly towards the altar convinced, for a short moment, if he could get there he could be saved. Tripping on the landing he fell awkwardly to the floor. He lay there staring up at the cathedral ceiling and the stained glass window with its intricate coloring. Grabbing the altar he pulled himself up and stopped in shock. It was set as though a service would be starting shortly. Surprised, he looked around to see if anyone was there, but he was alone. Picking up the cross that lay there he held it between his hands as they burned. It didn't hurt; he was beyond feeling pain that insignificant. He knelt before the altar still holding the cross, taking it and touching it to his forehead. The sizzling as his flesh burned away was reassuring to him, proved to him that he understood how evil he was... this body was. He wanted so badly to become part of the dust that covered this church. Putting his hands together he began to pray, stumbling over forgotten phrases, but slowly becoming surer in his plea. "Our father...who...Our Father who art... art...in heaven...hallowed be thy name. This is just wrong...You know what I've done, the people I have killed. I have no right to ask anything. I want to say sorry. I wish I could take back what I have done. I want to end it now; I can't deal with what I have done. Probably I should continue to exist, like Angel, to suffer more, but I can't. I'm not strong enough..." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 17) Date: 11 May 1998 18:37:04 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 17) He was actually waiting outside the restaurant, as Drusilla's father locked up the shop and grabbing a bag from the ground, started on his way. Angelus hadn't let him get half way through the night air as he approached his new victim "Hello Sir," Angelus began "It's such a beautiful night" "Yes" Replied the man. "We are having lucky weather" "A lovely night for a walk" His smile was so cunning. Really the man should have noticed it. "Yes." Drusilla's father agreed making quick and pleasant conversation "I love to walk on nights like these, the airs so peaceful." There was a brief pause "I ought to be on my way" Dru's father set forth pass Angelus. "Excuse me. If I may be so bold" Angelus continued quickening his stride to keep up with the man. Drusilla's father turned to stare at this stranger "I was just wondering, what's in the bag?" "Oh," Dru's father smiled "just some meats and such, fresh from the shop." Angelus smiled. "For your family?" The man turned around suddenly feeling uneasy. "Yes" He replied trying to sound polite. "I'll make sure that they get them for you" He was still smiling when Dru's father looked up at him, completely enraged. But he made the mistake of blinking once. Angelus' eyes turning into grotesque wrinkles. Dru's father grabbed under his belt, smacking Angelus across the face with his knife. The demon grabbed his arm, listening with ludicrous fascination to the breaking sounds of his victims wrist was crushed under the impact, in quite a few places. He quickly savored the scream of agony that escaped the lips of his victim "Now look what you did." Angelus yelled turning the man so their faces nearly met. Angelus' cheek bleed from the wound inflicted. "Demon!" Dru's father yelled as loudly as he could, under the extreme circumstances, trying to grab his cross to press it to Angelus' head. "Oh, no. You've done all you'll do for the night" He hissed. Then laughed lightly "No, You've done all you'll ever do, how *were* your last few moments on earth?" Angelus laughed, not waiting for an answer "I'll tell Drusilla you send your love" "Drusilla? You demon! Leave her-" But he didn't get to finish his sentence, though Angelus got the general idea. And yanking his head back, drank from the frightened mans blood, jerking his head to the side, he watched as Dru's father, with his last bit of breath, cried. Angelus held the dead body of Drusilla's father in his hands, the head was bobbed backwards. Angelus eyed the two marks his teeth had made. His eyes followed down the lifeless body, and grabbing the knife from under his still clenching hands, sliced the mans throat, nearly in two. Easily covering up any fang marks, and giving off a nice after effect. Now, off to part B of his master plan. ~ Drusilla lit another candle, as she stood up, watching out the window for her father to come home. Isabelle wanted to know more of the time her daughter had spent with such the handsome gentlemen, but her Drusilla was plagued by an unknown feeling, worry for her father. "Any sign of him?" Isabelle asked, donning a long purple nightgown and shawl. She handed Drusilla a cup of hot water. "Not yet." Dru nodded her head in thanks for the water. "Go, get yourself to bed, Drusilla. There's nothing the matter, he's probably stopped off at the tavern to get some drink" Drusilla took a deep breath. "I have a bad feeling, mother." "I'll stay up. It's not good for you to worry so." Isabelle said running her hand over her daughters' face "You'll get wrinkles under your eyes, then what will we do with you?" She smiled knowing Drusilla didn't care for it. "May I stay up with you then?" Isabelle sighed, turning to sit in a chair, looking out the window. "Yes" She smiled at her over reacting daughter. "And you may see your father come home drunken" She laughed softly. Drusilla took a seat next to her mother. "Something doesn't feel right," Dru said softly, lying in her mothers lap. "Shhh, Drusilla." Isabelle whispered, vowing that she was going to have one hell of a talk with her father when got home, sober or not. Dru wrapped her knees closer to her chest and leaned against he mother fearing the worse. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (16/?) by Ingrid Date: 11 May 1998 21:03:36 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: Willow tells all (sorta). WELCOME to my story. It takes place ten years into the future, but I’m not telling you what’s happened in advance. That’s happening through interludes. FEEDBACK: I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway! My address is Ingrid29@juno.com. REQUESTS FOR PARTS: If you don’t get this, that’s because you haven’t read the other parts. If you want to get this, ask me for them! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Sixteen: "And They All Settled Down…" ********* "What do you mean?" Buffy asked nervously, leaning forwards. Just hearing the vampire’s name again struck a sour cord inside her. She was on edge. "I gather that you’re already aware that the prophesy has something to do with time, since you’re already here, Buffy." "Right. So what exactly is he planning to do?" "He’s found a spell. I’m not sure of the details, but it looks pretty frightening. He wants Dru back, and since there isn’t anyway to resurrect a regular old vampire, he’s determined to stop her death before it’s happened… I mean, it happens." "A time spell?" Cordelia’s heart shot up into her throat. Willow nodded gravely, trying to gauge Buffy’s reaction. A familiar expression was slowly stealing its way across her face. She was the slayer again, 16 and back in the library. Meeting the steely eyes once more, Willow continued. "That’s not all," she cautioned, and quickly explained: "Like I said before, Buffy, he’s not only out to save Dru. He wants to change things…other things." "Other things like what?" The nervousness was showing through again. Angel had crept up behind her, and she grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. She finally worked up the nerve to meet his eyes, and all the strength she’d been accumulating during Willow’s speech left her, leaving her deflated. She’d thought this was over years ago. Things that she used to worry over, things like Angel had become solid realities, and now, unfairly, they were in jeopardy again, balanced on the edge of a cliff; back in the tug of war. Willow didn’t answer at first. "I don’t know." She knew. They all knew. And there was to be ‘a sacrifice.’ Someone would die. Buffy felt a wave of nausea sweep over her, and she sat back on her ankles. "So we’ve got to stop him. How?" Cordelia broke in when Buffy had fallen silent. Nobody answered, so she continued "Well, there’s got to be a way to stop him, hasn’t there?" Willow sighed heavily. "Portal. There’s something about a portal. Spike wanted to create a portal that was small enough so that only he could pass through, but apparently, that kind of thing is impossible. Portals will show up all around the location where he casts the spell, some smaller than others, but all leading to the same time, and the same place. I know where they are. And I know when he’s casting the spell. It’s soon." "How are we going to get there, exactly?" Buffy asked, trying to stay hard and unmoved. "I’ll have to take you. It’s not far. The hellmouth never opens up far from where the slayer is. I’ve been…close for a long time." Everybody was silent, each with their own separate world of fears. Xander sat down next to Cordelia and whispered something to her softly. "I know you’re worried, but it’s one o’clock. There’s no way we’re going to be able to pull this off if we’re all exhausted. Willow, we still have a lot of questions. Do you want to sta-" "That’s alright," the vampire answered awkwardly, hiding her face, "I’ve got some things to take care of. I’ll be back tomorrow at sundown with more information." Buffy nearly raised an eyebrow. Somewhere to stay? Maybe she had to feed. Maybe that’s why she was embarrassed. She watched Willow’s retreating back as Cordelia led her to the door. Angel stood up behind her and they silently went off to the guest room. As soon as she closed the door, she felt his arms go about her. "Buffy, I-" "It’s not going to be you, Angel. It’s taken us so long to get this far. I can’t do this again." She was upset, but determined. "I won’t let him take you away." ~~~~~~~~~ Cordelia shut the door softly and walked back to the living room, where Xander was collapsed on the sofa, his eyes closed, fingertips massaging his sinuses. "We can’t let this happen, Cordy." Her teenage nickname slipped out inadvertently. "So much happened that night." And it struck her. She remembered with vivid clarity that night. The turning point. Crying and waking up in Xander’s arms. "So much happened that night." Fear gripped her. One night had changed all of their lives so inexorably, and another could erase it all. "Oh, Xander." She felt on the verge of tears as they walked to the bedroom. ~~~~~~~~~ Willow clutched at her dress, trying to prevent it’s getting dragged through the dirty snow. It wasn’t much farther. That hadn’t been as difficult as she’d imagined, but her discomfiture was surely evident now, if it hadn’t been before. She would go hungry again for the greater good. The door squeaked open. "Willow, love? That you?" "Yes, it’s me, William." "Why do you have to call me that? Out hunting late again I see. We’re gonna have to do something about that." She let the blond vampire draw her into his arms, and draw his lips across her neck sensuously. "We will, will we?" ~~~~~~~~~ Cordelia was balanced and on the verge of dreams when she heard a gentle tapping at the door. Her eyes snapped open. Giles. Xander didn’t move at all as she got up and made her way out into the chilly foyer. She opened the door quickly, and a blast of cold air hit her straight on. He looked the same, polite and gentle as always, but for more aging, which only made his manner kinder. "I’m sorry for arriving so late," was the murmured apology. "No problem," she returned, "It’s just that everyone’s asleep. Your room’s all ready." "Thank you," he replied, as she closed the door behind him. "That way. Two doors down on the left." He nodded curtly and disappeared into his room. She went back to hers. ****** END, part 16. Did you like it? I spent my precious research paper time on it. Feedback! Feedback! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter 5 -- (1/1) Date: 11 May 1998 21:49:50 EDT Please send all comments, questions, and requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com. This is chapter five of thirteen. See prologue for disclaimers and notes. ~ "Part Five: Comprehension Dawning" Place: Sunnydale University, Library. Time: May 22nd, 2012. Xander collapsed against the bookshelf when the girl, who he now knew without a doubt had been Buffy, pushed past himself and Willow. He stared in shock, and from the look on Willow's face he could tell she had seen it too. "Omigod," he whispered. Willow's eyes were wide. "That..." "That was..." "Xander...?" "I..." They stared at each other for a long moment, then both took off in the direction of their-- they had presumed, apparently incorrectly-- dead friend. Out through the library, where both were given odd looks by students, then onto the lawn in front of the library building, and then-- Then she wasn't there. Xander took a deep breath and looked at Willow. "She..." Was he losing his already-infirm grip on reality? But if that was the case, then Willow wouldn't have been able to see it, her, and... Willow bit her lip. "I don't know," she said quietly. "Am I losing my _mind_?" he whispered. She shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. There were a few more seconds, then Xander sighed. "Then...what's going on? And what was she...in that room?" They had been on their way back to the room where Giles had kept his books, back when everything had made some sort of sense. Willow had taken the keys from their ring in the new librarian's office-- new being a comparative term, since the woman who had assumed Giles' duties as the head librarian had been working at Sunnydale U for years now, Xander supposed-- and led him toward the room. Xander sighed as they retraced their steps back up through the library and re-entered the room. He couldn't make sense of what they had seen, and he was sure Willow was pretty confused, as well. When she pulled the door shut behind herself, and let him lead both of them further back into the room, all Xander could do was shake his head. "This is insane," he whispered. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Xander, that--" "That was her," he said quietly. "No it wasn't," she said. "You know what, it's probably just some student here who _looks_ like Buffy, but Xander, Buffy, she's- -" Willow choked on the last word, and Xander bit his lip, looking up. Tears were forming in the corners of Willow's eyes. *This isn't only about you, you insensitive clod,* he told himself, standing and moving to hug her. Willow let him hold her, but didn't seem to need it as much as he had originally thought. He sighed, letting her go a few seconds later, and taking a couple steps back. Then he glanced up. "Willow?" "Yes?" He shook his head. "This is too freakin' weird." A slight smile formed at the edges of her lips. "Couldn't have said it better myself," she replied. They sat in silence for a long moment before either spoke. "If that wasn't-- I mean, since that couldn't have been Buffy," Xander finally said, "then what was another student doing with a key to this room?" Willow shook her head. "Who knows? Giles let us use this place when he was the chief librarian-- maybe she's friends with Ms. D'Angelo." "Maybe." Xander sighed. He wasn't sure that he wanted to be convinced of that, but what kind of reason could he have for wanting to believe what had to be insane delusions? Maybe coming back to Sunnydale hadn't been a good move. No, he already knew it hadn't been a good idea. He didn't know why he had given in to Willow's words. Why he'd come back here, or what he thought he would accomplish by doing so. All that had happened since he had shown up was that heþd had argument after argument, first with himself, then with the demons of long-gone friends, then with Cordelia, then himself again, then Cordelia again...it seemed like Willow was the only one he _hadn't_ fought with, and she wasn't the type to fight, anyway. What was he accomplishing, he asked himself. The answer came easily enough: nothing but more heartache and trouble. He could barely think straight. He was seeing Buffy every time he opened his eyes, and Willow had already convinced herself that the girl they had seen was just another student here. Maybe Anna-Marie had been right, he thought, when she had told him he needed professional help. But...dammit. He didn't want to admit something like that. Maybe if he just left now, went home, called her and begged her to come home and promised that never again would the words Sunnydale, Buffy, or vampires cross his lips, she would listen to him. Maybe he could move on, carry on with his life... Looking at Willow, who was staying silent and not interrupting his thoughts, though...Xander knew if he made promises to Anna- Marie, he would never be able to keep them. And he would lose her. Just like he had lost everything else. He sighed, said quietly, "Maybe I should just go home." Willow raised an eyebrow. "Why?" "Because," he said. "I don't know. I've lost my mind thinking about things the past ten years, and now that I'm here it's not fixing anything at all. And it should be." "Why should it be?" Because. Things shouldn't have stayed broken for so much time. It shouldn't be taking him so long and so much pain to heal. Mostly, because he should care more about his friends than to suddenly appear out of nowhere and pull them into a tangle with the same ghosts from the past that he'd been fighting for a decade now. "I should know better," he sighed, not speaking the rest and moving to sit on the table that even after all these years was still in the room. "Willow, I came here looking for answers...and all I've done is fight with people and have hallucinations." She looked at him, her expression skeptical. "But Xander..." "I know," he said, "I need to get through this somehow. And I promise I won't shut you guys out of my life. You, anyway." He had the feeling Cordelia wouldn't particularly _want_ any kind of contact with him. "But this isn't fair to any of us, and--" "Xander," Willow interrupted, "what's that?" "What's what?" he asked, confused. "That," she said, indicating something that had become attached to his shoe. Leaning over, Xander pulled up a sheet of paper-- out of some sort of book, he was guessing-- that had somehow become stuck to the sole of his shoe. "Don't know," he said, smoothing it over and scratching some of the dirt off it. Willow took a couple steps toward him, looking over his hands at the paper as he read it. "The gateway must be constructed of a black candle, which must be lit at the..." he skimmed down the page, getting to the bottom and realizing that the text cut off. But the print matched the book he had been looking at earlier. "It's..." He trailed off, reaching into the pocket of his coat, which he had slipped the book into earlier. Then he pulled it open and found the page number in the corner of the loose piece. "...from Giles' book." Willow looked at him quizzically. "How did it get on your shoe?" she asked. "I...don't know," he said, reading the pages where the piece belonged. He swallowed. "Will?" "Yes?" "It's...a description of how to retrieve someone's soul." He swallowed again, hard, trying to fight down the sudden feeling of nausea that was rising in his stomach. "Oh, God..." he whispered, as he reached the end of the page that was still connected to the rest of the book. "Willow, it's..." "What?" "Giles. Made a couple of notes." 'Pg 92, fix', were the notes scrawled in the corner of the page. Xander quickly flipped and found himself staring at the same chant he had read, half-jokingly, the night before. Willow watched intently. "What's it say?" she asked. Xander looked at the page, shaking his head slowly and laying the book, open-faced, on the table between them. //Let us speak across the divide of time Without concern for it's ebb and flow And take us to the hearts of those we love Bringing us closer to the ones our memories best know.// Below the lines, which were italicized, there was a brief paragraph of explanation. The meaning of this passage, though never pinned down exactly, seems to be a call across time and space for a way to communicate with the dead or fondly remembered. By reciting the passage, the chanter may call across time to the one who is foremost in their thoughts.* Xander quickly skipped down the page to the footnote, which directed him to another page. This chapter, when he saw it, was titled "Explanations of the Mechanics of Space and Time". An odd thing to see in a book like this, he thought privately, but at this point he wasn't going to raise the issue. Willow, unable to follow as he moved quickly from page to page, finally spoke up. "Xander, what is it?" He shook his head, standing and moving toward the doorway. "I need to talk to Cordelia," he said quietly. "Xander, I don't know--" But Xander didn't wait around to hear her finish the sentence. ~ Please send all comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Sweet Surrender" (1/1) Date: 11 May 1998 22:30:50 EDT I just wrote this one off...jeezu. ::swallowshard:: Listening to Sarah McLachlan and got posessed. If you've got "Sweet Surrender", her song, on CD or tape...listen while you're reading. It might enhance things a little. I had it playing the whole time I was writing. If I say much more I'll ramble, and I'm a shaking mess right now. All disclaimers apply. Comments to me, here, please. And yes, I'll send out more of "Future Imperfect" tomorrow morning, provided I wake up early enough to convert the files. ::smallsmile:: ~ "Sweet Surrender" By Rachel Brody //It doesn't mean much It doesn't mean anything at all.// *It doesn't mean much.* Her thoughts were cold and cruel. Stark. Empty. *Doesn't mean anything at all.* Their deaths had been the same. *Worthless.* Pathetic excuse for a Slayer. She hadn't been able to stop him. Hadn't been able to do anything but stand by and watch as people had been slaughtered. Helpless. Meaningless. Useless. Worthless. Their eyes had stared up at her, dead eyes in dead bodies. Dead to the world. And she was alone. The streetlights shone too brightly as she walked, pouring through her irises and burning her retinas. Her flesh hurt. Was this what it was like to be one of Them? To be like Him? Did sunlight hurt so much when it was the only safe place to hide? Or did the mere fact that her last refuge was fast becoming a place of deeper haunting mean only that she had run out of time? Their eyes still watched her. Still burned. Still asked why she had failed them. //Sweet Surrender Is all that I have to give.// The darkness was a thick blanket around her. She was a child once more, helpless and mewing for some sort of vindication. Evidence that she had done anything worthwhile. Because the deaths had been on her head. Her fault. She'd been the one who was there to save them all. Instead, she'd brought Armageddon to her world, her home, her family, her friends. And now, she was going to offer them whatever sort of retribution she could. For the dead ones. For those who had lost any hope of a future, because of her. She was too young, too weary, to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. And so, tonight, it would end. Tonight, she would give him her surrender. For everyone who had gone before. //Are you an Angel? Am I already that gone? I only hope that I won't disappoint you When I'm down here on my knees.// She fell roughly, the dirt striking her shins. Moist, wet earth. Fresh grave. Rain fell. He was there. Her curse, her savior. She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. His own met hers without reproach or sign of victory showing in them. He looked as weary as she. Lightning cracked overhead, thunder ripping through the air. Their eyes had locked. His were cold. Hers, pleading. //Take me now. No questions asked.// Sweet surrender. THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA -Step six- Acceptance, (2/7) by Andrea Date: 11 May 1998 21:40:14 PDT Author: Andrea Disclaimer: Spike, Angel, Buffy, Dru, and Willow aren't mine . They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB and probably some other people. None of them are me. Antoine, Mandy and Joseph are mine, or at least they belong to the voice in my head. He knelt there thinking, not strong enough, it was the story of his life. He always chose the path of least resistance. No sense changing at this late date. He stretched up facing the window, letting the tears flow freely down his cheeks as he waited for the sun's rays to enter through the stained glass window. His mind registered then that it was a picture of the resurrection. Closing his eyes he tried to remember who he had been when he was human. Slowly relaxing into his death he was shocked to hear a voice from the back of the room. " May I help you my child?" He swung around realizing his game face was showing in his surprise. The old man standing at the back of the church barely twitched an eyebrow. " I overheard you, I apologize, but you sound as if you are in such pain." He just stared at the man, wondering how anyone could stand so calmly and look at his face. And the old man looked perfectly calm, perfectly at ease. He felt an almost irresistible urge to lunge at him; the demon didn't like someone without fear. He concentrated on calming down, getting control of his face, but the man had already started down the aisle towards him, " Your face is burned you should get some salve on it. And your hands." Reaching out the man took his hands and turning them over ran his fingers softly over the burns on his palms, "Come with me." Gently guiding him, the man led him into a room off the side of the altar. Sitting him in a chair then disappearing through another door. He looked around at the room, at the comfortable chairs and the bookcase crammed full with papers, magazines and books. The shelves were full of candles and statues. It was a gentle room, a lived in room. He settled deeper into the chair. The man reappeared a few minutes later with some dry rags and an aloe vera plant. Breaking a stem off, the old man rubbed the broken end over his burnt palms and forehead. Then taking the rags the man tied them over the burns on his palms. "Don't you know what I am?" He was frozen by this man's gentleness and the tears were threatening to fall again, "I am a monster...a vampire...I kill." "But not anymore right?" The man smiled softly at him, "You came here to die..." " I have a soul now." He felt himself sinking into an almost trance-like state, wanting to tell this man his story, wanting this man to be his judge, "My name is Spike...William the bloody if you prefer." "Spike, I am Antoine. I am very pleased to meet you." Antoine grinned at him with such pleasure that he found himself helplessly smiling back. "Why?" "Because you are so sad and seem so alone. I am alone too. And you seem to want to change. Who can not be glad to meet someone who wants so badly to change that they are willing to die." Shrugging at him Antoine stood and pulled back a book from the bookcase. The bookcase slid away revealing a door. Opening it and gesturing to him to follow him, " There are no windows in here, you'll be safe until sunset. We can talk more then...yes?" "Yes." He found himself helpless to do anything but agree with this man. Forgetting for the moment that he was supposed to be greeting the sun he stepped into the room. Cots were lined up in rows, about fifty of them all covered in varying degrees of dust. He looked to Antoine puzzled, but Antoine only shook his head. "Another day my child, another day." Slipping quietly through the door Antoine pulled it shut behind him leaving Spike surrounded by darkness again. He stood there for what felt like forever trying to process what had just occurred. Finally deciding that he wasn't going to figure it out before sunset he inched his way over to the nearest cot and lay down. Curling up into a little ball he closed his eyes and succumbed. His mind was a jumble of images, of deaths he had caused. He walked down a street filled with his victims, still breathing. They were all reaching up to him, begging him to save them, asking why. He ran from them in his dream, his heart pounding, his breath ragged. He jerked up, sweat dripping from his face, a pounding in his ears. He put his hand to his chest, convinced it was his heart, but nothing. He was what he was and heartbeats and breathing weren't any part of it. The pounding continued and he started to look around for the source, then faintly he heard, "Are you okay?" Antoine was back and finally showing a little common sense. Smart of him not to just burst into a vampires' boudoir. He started to answer, but was beaten to the punch by, "You have to open the door from the inside, I forgot to turn the lock last night." So maybe he wasn't afraid. He wasn't sure why that made him feel so hopeful. Walking over he pulled the door open and was greeted by the little man who was carrying a jug of red liquid... blood. Spike stepped back afraid it would be human and the smell would be too much. The aroma drifted slowly into his nostrils and he realized it was pig's blood. Antoine held the jug out to him smiling slightly, "Take it, you must be hungry." Staring at this man who seemed so accepting of what he was, he slowly took the jug and drank from it. He shuddered, but felt the demons' pull relax. He realized Antoine was staring at him and in the same instant felt the ridges. How could this man just stand there while a vicious animal fed on blood in his church? "Why are you doing this?" "Well, the pig was due to be slaughtered anyway, waste not want not." Antoine grinned at him and calmly took the empty jug from his hands as if he fed vampires every day. "Come, we'll talk now...yes?" He followed him, Antoine's lack of fear rendering him speechless. Which wasn't something he ever was. Antoine led him into the study and sat him down. "Can I get you anything...tea...do you...I'm afraid I'm not familiar with what you can or want to eat. I'm sorry," Antoine face turned a slight red. Grinning, enjoying Antoine's discomfort he answered, "Tea is okay. I_ am_ English you know." "I had gathered that," Antoine said. Offended that he would even think he didn't know. "I am fairly familiar with most 'human' origins." Ahh... score one for you." He smiled then asked the question burning in his throat, " I want to tell you my story. Will you listen?" "Of course," Antoine said folding himself into a chair and staring at him with total attention, " I would." Swallowing, he hesitated not knowing were to start or if he was willing to lose this man's acceptance. He was surprised to find his stomach full of butterflies, how long since that had happened to him. He licked his lips trying to figure out where to start...how to start. "Well, I'm a...vampire, you know that. And I am a killer, but not recently. I.. um...well, my soul was restored so I have a conscience and I can't kill. But I remember all the killing." He stopped, trying to gather his thoughts, "I was a ruthless killer who felt no remorse, I enjoyed it but ..." "But you don't feel that way anymore," Antoine posed the question in soft tones, "You don't want to kill?" "No...Yes! I have a demon inside me screaming for me to kill. He wants me to kill you...here...now." Swallowing his panic, "I won't, I can control it. I won't be a killer again...I can't." "The demon is still inside you?" Antoine looked confused, "But you said your soul was restored?" "Yah. Right. Confusing stuff. I was made a vampire over a century ago. I lost my soul then, the demon took over my body, my thoughts...everything." Stopping, finding the tears near again, "I don't know where I was...where my soul was. I just know I became aware again a few weeks ago. I only realized what I had been doing then." "So, your soul is sharing the body with the demon?" "Yes." "And you had no knowledge of what had been happening when you were not.... there?" Antoine was leaning forward in his chair now. He tensed, a familiar sense of dread washing over him," No, but that does not erase what I did!" He was expecting the same old not - your - fault spiel to come next. He didn't think he could handle this man dismissing what he had done so easily. He waited. "I had a niece who I loved very much," Antoine said closing his eyes as a wave of pain rolled over his face. "She was a beautiful child, full of love." "That's nice," he said faintly, confused, absently rubbing the rags that covered his burns. " Do you see her often?" "I killed her." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Six -- (1/1) Date: 12 May 1998 07:08:17 EDT This is chapter six of thirteen. All comments, please, to KylenRevik@aol.com. The same with any questions or requests for missing pieces. Chapter six is one post long. See the prologue for disclaimers and notes. ~ "Part Six: Confession" Place: Harris/Chase Residence. Time: November 24, 2002. 1:00 p.m. "Cordelia?" There were a few silent seconds, and Buffy wondered if she might have caught her friend out of the house. She hoped not. She had to talk to _someone_ before tonight. But then the door opened, and Cordelia was standing there. "Buffy!" she exclaimed. "Come on in, what's up?" Buffy swallowed, then walked past her and into the living room of Xander and Cordelia's apartment. She took a few steps into the room before turning to face her friend. "Cordie...I need to talk to somebody. And I know we don't have serious discussions, really, but..." Concern flooded Cordelia's expression. "What's up?" "Well," Buffy said, suddenly realizing how much more difficult it was going to be to say this aloud than she had thought it would be, "first you have to promise you won't say anything about this to anyone. At all." Cordelia nodded. "Okay. But what--" "Tonight," Buffy broke in, "I'm going to Sunnydale Cemetery. To...meet Angelus." "You're _what_?!" Cordelia exclaimed. "Buffy! The last time you fought him he nearly--" "I'm not going to fight him, I'm going to bring him back." Buffy suddenly felt tears pricking the corners of her eyes as memories began to flood back. "Cordelia, I can't talk to anyone else about this because Xander or Willow or Giles wouldn't understand how important this was, they wouldn't see that I don't have any choice in this." "But what if--" Ignoring Cordelia's words, Buffy continued speaking, though her voice grew softer and softer as she went on. "It's been four years," she said, "and I can't do this anymore." "But--" "I found a spell in one of Giles' books," she said, and Cordelia finally fell silent, probably realizing that Buffy wasn't going to allow herself to be interrupted until she had everything out. "It involves a candle I bought earlier this week, and it...creates a sort of guiding light, for his soul to get back to his body." She paused a moment. "The book says that if I can resummon the soul, show it where to go, it will be able to force the demon out." She shook her head. "I don't completely understand it, but I have to try." She looked at Cordelia, and a tear trickled down her cheek. "You understand, right? I have to try." Cordelia looked at her for a long few seconds, and briefly, Buffy was worried that the other woman might break the promise of secrecy she had made. "I...don't know." Cordelia shook her head. "I mean...Buffy, for god's sake, you have to be careful. I mean, you aren't going to just go in there with a candle, right?" "No," Buffy said quickly. "I'll take some stakes with me. But I have to be able to get close enough to him for the soul to bridge the gap, and--" Cordelia nodded. "Okay then," she said. Buffy watched her friend agree, so quickly, and wondered if perhaps Cordelia wasn't taking this to be as serious as it was. On the other hand, if that were the case, perhaps it was for the best- - this way, Cordelia wouldn't go off running to tell anyone, because she wouldn't think there was any real danger. "And you're not going to say a word to anyone, right?" "Right," Cordelia replied. "Because I know we don't talk about things like this too often, and I just wanted to make sure...Cordelia, if you tell anyone about this--" "I won't!" Cordelia objected. "God, Buffy, you know, sometimes you treat me like I'm still the shallow, spoiled kid I was three years ago!" Buffy had to smile at that, though she knew Cordelia didn't mean it in a joking manner. "Okay. I believe you." She paused for a moment. "Cordelia...one other thing." "Yeah?" "If anything...if anything happens to me..." She swallowed, doing her best to pretend she wasn't really concerned about the possibility of something happening to her. It was a hard fight, but she was reasonably sure she was winning it. "I want his ashes on my grave." She paused a moment. "I'm going to try to find him near the big monument in the west end of the cemetery. So if anything happens, that's where you should look first." Cordelia looked confused for a moment, then she nodded. "Okay," she said. "But...nothing's going to happen to you, right?" "Right," Buffy replied. "Nothing should go wrong, and nothing will. So I just wanted that as, you know, a backup plan." Cordelia nodded. "Can do," she replied with a smile. Buffy forced a grin, hoping it looked halfway sincere, and gave Cordelia a quick hug. "Thanks," she said. "I knew I could count on you." Without waiting for her friend to reply, she moved toward the door. "There're a few things I need to take care of before tonight, okay?" Cordelia nodded. "Sure. See you tomorrow, then. You and Angel, both." Buffy grinned and nodded. "Yeah." She couldn't believe how amazing it felt, to say that and be able to feel even a little that it might be true, and in twenty-four hours' time she would actually be with him again. Dangerous thoughts, she told herself, because if it didn't work then she was just setting herself up for a fall. It didn't keep her from hoping. And this was the first time she'd honestly thought she had a chance of bringing him back since before Miss Calendar had died. She and Cordelia said their goodbyes quickly, and Buffy left the apartment, wondering what Giles and Willow and Xander would say when they found out. She smiled inwardly. She could only imagine their expressions when she turned up the next night with Angel's arms around her. That thought brought up the oft-remembered last night they had spent together. It was amazing, Buffy thought, that even after four years...she could still remember everything about him. Everything about that night. Unfortunately, she could also remember the last four years, all in amazingly stark detail. She sighed. Too much pain, and too many memories. She glanced at her watch. It would all be over soon enough. Soon enough. She had only a few more steps to take-- getting together her stakes, reading the directions for the spell a few more times...she hoped Giles hadn't realized that she had accidentally ripped an extra page from the book. She had been looking for it ever since she had gone back the next day, and seen that it wasn't anywhere in the room, but she hadn't been able to figure out where it _was_. Oh well. At least she hadn't lost the vital stuff, all the intricate directions regarding how to use the candle to summon Angel's soul back to its body. Because she still needed to memorize those. Not that she was afraid of her capabilities in that department, because she still had until darkness fell to fix the lines in her mind. So, she thought as she started her car and pulled away from the curb, from this point until later tonight, all she really had to do was go home, get her stakes, memorize the lines, and wait. It was so close, she could feel it-- the end of everything that had been tormenting her these past four years. Because she'd truly had enough. But after tonight...no more. Angelus would be dead and gone, she'd have her Angel back. Either that, or she'd die trying. ~ All comments/questions to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA - Step six - Acceptance (3/7) by Andrea Date: 12 May 1998 06:49:42 PDT Disclaimer in part one (and two) "Oh." He started to fidget in his seat. His forehead was getting itchy as it healed and he didn't know what to do with Antoine's words. He was having a hard enough time dealing with his own guilt, he couldn't help Antoine. "Don't you want to ask any questions?" Antoine didn't seem to be particularly upset, "It's been a long time since her death, I want to tell you about it." "Sure." He owed this man for the shelter he would listen for a while, until sunrise. Then he would finish what he had set out to do. "I think it will help you." Antoine looked at him with such a wise expression; he was reminded of long ago and how his father always seemed to know what he was thinking. "She was ten, my Mandy, when she died. Her parents had been killed three years earlier. She had lived with me since then. She was such a shining light, so full of all that is good, everything in my life was for her." Antoine leaned back in his chair the words coming from his mouth in a hazy voice as he visited his memories; " Mandy was always a bright child, always ahead of others her own age. She was almost eerily aware of the world around her, from birth practically. I remember her eyes following me around the room when she was only two weeks old. Such a beautiful baby." Smiling to himself Antoine's recollections trickled to a standstill. "Was she psychic? My girlfriend has premonitions." "Psychic? You have a girlfriend? Is she a.... vampire? Of course, she must be, right?" Antoine spoke quickly trying to cover his lapse into silence, then, "She was my shadow. We were such a team. I need you to understand how much I loved her. Still love her." "I do." He actually could feel the love emanating from him when he spoke of her. A child, he would never have any children. Another thing lost. " I didn't take her seriously when she first spoke of the voices. She was forever imagining spirits and ghosts. At the time I was very strict in my beliefs and what she said didn't fit into it. Spirits and ghosts and vampires were not real. Do you see? If I had believed then maybe I would have saved her. Maybe not though, maybe not. Anyway I was sitting on the porch at our house on a lazy august evening. The sun was just beginning to set and the breeze was strong enough to keep the flies away. I remember how serious her face was as she sat at my feet. After sitting quietly for a few minutes she turned to me. That innocent voice saying my name 'Uncle, I need your help'. I, of course, promised I would. The first time I ever lied to her, even if I didn't know it at the time. She told me of the words in her head that she hadn't thought. Of people she saw that no one else could. She told me that he wanted her. That he wanted as many bodies as she could gather. But she said it in such old English, the speaking pattern was nothing like her own. Maybe she didn't even understand what she was saying. I ignored that though, told her it was just her imagination. That she was so smart that her brain wasn't being challenged enough and gave her some extra math problems to work out." Antoine put his face in his hands then grimaced, "Funny, one choice and your life swings off, are you ever amazed at what happens because of one choice?" "Sure...yes...died... became a demon...bad choice." He kept picturing a child with Dru's dark hair and eyes."What happened to Mandy?" "She did her math. I sat on the porch," Antoine voice caught on the last word. Taking a shaky breath he began again, "Sorry, I guess it still hurts. Anyway things were fine for a while. But she seemed to be playing by herself more and more. I would hear her in her room talking to herself. She seemed to be tired all of the time, the bags under her eyes took up half her face. I took her to doctors and specialists, but they could find nothing wrong. I soon began to notice that she wasn't the only one with this problem. Many of her friends were also sickly. Can you believe I found that reassuring? Thought it was a problem with a food source or the water. Fixable at any rate." "Was it LSD in the water? I felt the effects of LSD once. I probably would have believed there were ghosts," he was intrigued by the little girl he would never meet, but was so loved by this man, " Sorry continue." "Not LSD no. Not anything. They tested everything possible, there was no chemical cause they could find for it. The children just kept getting sicker. And Mandy started to change. Her personality changed. She became cold. She seemed to enjoy others pain and suffering. I remember one night I came home to find her watching the news, a mother pleading for whoever had kidnapped her child to please bring him back. She had such a look of joy on her face. It frightened me. When she saw me, nothing changed, she just kept smiling. I realized then that whatever was happening to her wasn't going to go away anytime soon. The next morning I tried to talk to her. She sat there blankly looking at me; there was no recognition in her eyes. I sent her off to school with a hug. She glanced at me before she left and for a second I could see my niece in her eyes. It faded quickly, but it had already given me hope." Antoine stopped, stood up, "Would you like some more tea?" "What...oh. Sure." Immersed in thoughts of the girl he stuttered trying to answer, "Demonic possession?" But Antoine had already disappeared into the kitchen. Returning five minutes later carrying a fresh pot of tea. Sitting down Antoine fiddled with the tea bag, slowly preparing the cups. He watched itching for him to continue his tale. "Keep in mind that nothing that happened was her fault," Antoine spoke passionately for the first time, " She was a good child until the end." Nodding his head, he knew Antoine was heading into the heart of his tale. He was dreading, yet anticipating what would come next. Antoine leaned forward in his chair cupping his tea with both hands as if trying to capture its heat. Taking a deep breath he began again, "Small animals began to disappear, pets. I found their bones in small piles in the woods behind our house. They were perfectly clean as if they had lain there for centuries but they hadn't been there three days earlier. Perfectly. How was that possible? Mandy held the answer. I knew that with my heart and in the pit of my stomach. I just couldn't accept it. Then the first person vanished. I didn't go into the woods for weeks after that. I couldn't face what I knew I would find. Another person disappeared. Can you understand? I knew she was doing it, was involved, but I didn't know how or why. My angel was a murderer. What? Why did you make such a face?" "Sorry...Angel... bad word association," gesturing for him to continue he relaxed his expression. "Why? No...nevermind you can tell me later. I want to finish this. Where was I? Right, I began to get calls from the other children's parents. The other children were getting worse much faster than Mandy. The parents were afraid of their children. They thought they were possessed and since I was a priest that I could perform an exorcism." "You're not a priest now?" "No, please...let me finish. They believed the devil was in control of our children. I didn't believe in the devil, but I was starting to believe that there must be some spirit or demon at work. My Mandy wasn't capable of the things she was doing, yet she was doing them. And the hate shining in her eyes. I contacted a friend, a fellow priest, who believed strongly in the devil and he sent me the information on exorcism. I decided I would do it to Mandy first. I performed the ritual two weeks later, but it did nothing. She didn't react to any of it, not the prayers or the crosses or holy water..." "Lucky." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA-Step six- Acceptance,(4/7) by Andrea Date: 12 May 1998 06:50:25 PDT disclaimers in part one. Antoine looked puzzled, then, "Huh, oh right...anyway, I had been performing the ritual in the cellar of our house. It had no windows and I had to turn the lights off before I could go upstairs. She collapsed walking to the stairs and I ran and picked her up. I was halfway up the stairs when she woke and spoke to me, 'It needs the light, I can't fight it long.' She fell back, unconscious again. I spent the night sitting on the stairs in the dark, waiting to see if she would wake again. Because it was her, my Mandy, the child I had known. Not the stranger who had moved into her body. When she finally woke I sat her on the stairs and grabbed her hands. 'Mandy can you hear me?' She was quiet for so long, her little body so tense then, 'Dark, you must keep us all in the dark. Please. So no one else will be hurt. Uncle, the dark. It's the only place I can break through. I'm sorry.' Her voice was so panicked, so young. I carried her upstairs and put her on the couch. I sat in my chair to think. Then I remembered the room, in this church. Where you slept last night. It was dark and hidden. I thought that eventually someone other than those affected would notice the children. I called the other parents; told them we needed to keep the children in the dark. I offered to keep them in the room at the church. Then I went and bought supplies, food and blankets. The cots were already there from when the church had been used as a hiding place for fugitives and others seeking asylum. Twelve children were affected and of those ten came to the church that night. We put the children in that room and locked the door. Then we each took turns sitting outside the door, listening for any activity. They were quiet for a few days. We received the news that the other children had gone missing, piles of bones found in their parents' bedrooms. Can you imagine how horrified we were? We didn't know what was happening or why? Most of all we had no idea of any way to help the children, our children. On the fifth day I was on watch. When I took their supper in I tripped over something on the floor. Turning the flashlight on it I saw bones. I flipped on the light switch to get a better look. They were bones, turning to the children I saw that there was only nine of them. And they were growling. I turned and ran out of the room. Sitting outside the door I thought of them. Had they looked bigger or had it just been my fear? I called the other parents thinking we needed to have more than one person on guard. For our own safety now more than for our children. I spent the night frantically looking for any information I could find on demonic possession. I was finally a true believer. There could be no other explanation. No group of children could turn into these monsters on there own. On the seventh day one father couldn't take in anymore, he went into the room to find his child. To take him home. Taking a flashlight he went in. They left the flashlight lying on top of his bones. On the tenth day the man who would save my life knocked on my door." "Finally. These kiddies were worse than me and I was very, very bad." He was sickened by the thoughts of these children. It reminded him of the annointed one, evil children had never been his favorite. They were something you should only find at the Hellmouth. "It wasn't them! I told you my Mandy was not responsible!" Antoine turned on him, his eyes shooting fire, "She was not in control of her actions...You should understand that!" "Why? Because I've killed also? I don't expect anyone to absolve me. I AM RESPONSIBLE." He was getting angry, did no one ever take the blame anymore? "Fine, you waste your second chance crying about something you can never change. If Mandy had been as lucky as you I know she would have done something with it," Antoine sat gripping the sides of his chair as if he was trying to hold himself in it, "What are you doing...except trying to end it?" "Look, why don't you just finish your little confession and I'll be on my way." He was boiling mad at the man, but his curiousity wouldn't let him leave. "Right, I forget, it's just a story to you. To me it is the greatest failure of my life. I lost the one thing I valued in this world." Antoine slumped back in his chair all the fire drained from him. He stared at him, shocked by how much older Antoine looked since he had started his tale. "Sorry. The resposibility issue is a bit of a hotspot with me. I didn't mean to judge your niece. I'm sure she wasn't in control and I'm sure she didn't invite the demon into her life." He leaned towards Antoine feeling sick that he had upset this man, that he had hurt him, "Please, I want to hear what happened. Who was this man?" "He is...was my best friend. He died trying to save Mandy. He did save the other children. He was a hero." Antoine looked at him curiously, "Do you have friends...I mean...do vampires...care?" "I have Dru, my girlfriend. She...I love her. And long ago there was Angel. He taught me how to be the killer I am. We don't really get along though. Too much history. He regained his soul a long time ago and was a good guy. I tried to kill him and his girlfriend. Then lost his soul again and slept with mine. Now he's good again, but we still aren't close. You know I really didn't have time for friends when I was a monster. It's more time consuming than you would think." Feeling suddenly vulnerable he shuddered at the thought of Angel being the closest thing he had to a friend. How sad. "I'll be your friend. I already am," smiling, his earlier anger forgotten Antoine leaned forward, "Shall I continue?" "Please." "So I quickly filled Joseph in on what was going on." "Joseph?" "The man at the door, my friend. Pay attention." "Well you could have introduced him better." "Fine, I apologize. May I continue?" "Your tale." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sah (by way of sah ) Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: List rules Date: 12 May 1998 11:38:47 -0400 Welcome! This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," both the TV series and the movie. To ensure that we all get to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following guidelines, and please save them for future reference. 1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related to Buffy. Crossovers are great, and expected, but general vampire/monster stories that aren't in the Buffy universe and don't use Buffy characters belong somewhere else. 2. Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist. Please put "DISCUSS" in your subject line. Requests for missing story parts should go directly to the author, and not be posted to the list. 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If you have any questions about these rules, please contact either one of us offlist. If you have subscription problems or questions, the fastest way to get help is to e-mail one of us at the addresses below, at the kirby@xmission.com addy which is the "official" e-mail owner of the list. Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) & sah (romana@mindspring.com) Listowners, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fiction List buffyfic@xmission.com sah * romana@mindspring.com * romana@aol.com NatPack * Jungle Patrol * Bishop * Bossy the Lost Dwarf * BTVS Listowner "I feel nauseous. What is this world coming to, that a perfectly nice, reasonably sane atheist who forwards me slash and thrives on Xena subtext, can suddenly start watching 7th Heaven and planning FIC, for Elvis' sake?" --jk ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA- Step six - Acceptance, (5/7) by Andrea Date: 12 May 1998 09:26:10 PDT Disclaimers in part one. Shaking his head, Antoine continued, " Alright then. Joseph asked so many questions like, how long this had been going on? What were the first signs? Where the other parents looking as worn out as me? Had I been losing weight? All sorts of questions that I couldn't see the point of...then. It took a couple hours of questioning before I realized that he had known something was wrong before I had told him. And when I told him my story, which even I found insane, he believed it immediately. He never questioned that the children were under some sort of spell or possessed. I called him on it. He just smiled and said he could help. He wasn't sure that he could save them. He thought it may be too late, the souls might not be anchored firmly enough in the bodies anymore. I remember staring at him, shocked at how calm he was, how matter of fact. I yelled at him then, asked him what he was, who he was. I had known him since I was Mandy's age and I hadn't known he believed in the supernatural. He let me yell, held me when I broke down crying. After I had calmed down he began to speak. He told me of his association with a group who believed in the supernatural. How they had come to him when he was in college. How he had the ability to see into the future. Immediately I thought of how he always had been able to guess what team would win at any sporting event. Funny we never thought anything of it. I never thought anything of it. He had worked with them in secret for over twenty years. They helped people who became enmeshed with the spirit world. I was one of those people now. He explained about the entity we were dealing with. It was a demon, but you knew that didn't you? Anyway this particular demon was called (insert demon name here). He wasn't the strongest of demons but he was getting stronger here. His intention was to create his body and destroy innocence. He needed all this death to create his body. He would possess people then cause them to kill by draining all the energy from the people around them. The only thing he couldn't convert into energy was the bones. I think I threw up at that point. Partly from relief. I had been convinced they were eating the people. Funny how some forms of death and murder seem more acceptable. Sorry, anyway the demon would possess many people usually young children. Needing to feed off their energy until strong enough to be able to drain those closest to them. Slowly he would pare down the number until only one was left. That one would be transformed through all the stored energy into (again, insert demon name here). He didn't know what had happened, how the demon had gotten strong enough to possess our children. The demon could usually only possess children who were weak, usually the sick or starving. And they usually all died long before he could create his body. This time Joseph was afraid he would succeed unless we stopped him." Antoine paused staring off into the past. "So what did you do?" He was on the edge of his seat. "We stopped him" "Yah, well I figured that. How?" "Oh. Right. Well, Joseph said we had done the right thing by putting them in the dark, but we shouldn't have put them together. That the inital child would start to drain the other children of their energy. That was why one of the children had died. The inital child had drained him. I had thought they all killed him. Thinking I only had to worry about one child I started to go into the room. After all, a grown man should be able to overcome a small child, even if the child was possessed, right? Joseph stopped me. Told me the initial child didn't need to touch me to drain my energy and also that all the children would help. They were all connected to the same demon. Deciding finally that there was strength in numbers a group of thirty men entered into the room. We..." "Why did he want to know if you had lost weight?" "Could you wait, I'll get to it." "Sorry, I was just thinking that..." "It will come up soon enough." "It's just that..." "Fine. I was losing weight because my niece was converting all the fat and muscle in my body to the energy she needed to become a demon. Happy?" "I kinda figured that's what it was. Won't say another word." He sat back in his chair satisfied he had been right. Glaring at him, Antoine poured a new cup of tea and continued," So, where was I? Right, okay, we went into the room and turned the light on. I was literally shaking in my shoes. The children just sat there quietly. They seemed unnatural somehow, larger and almost glowing. I'm still not sure if it was real or a trick of my fear. Doesn't matter anyway. Mandy sat away from the rest of the children. Joseph and I went over to her while the rest of the men spirited the other children away. She looked at us, her eyes lingering on Joseph, then focusing on me. I remember feeling suddenly colder and totally exhausted. Joseph turned to me, yelled for me to get out of the room. He followed as Mandy's joyful laughter chased us from the room. Locking the door from the outside we collapsed into the chairs we are sitting on now. You know, you remind me of him. I'm not sure why." "Well it's fairly safe to say I'm not his reincarnation." Antoine laughed, "True. I should finish this, I didn't mean to tell it in such detail, I only wanted you to see that your existence can still be worthwhile. Instead I'm using you as my confessor." "I don't mind," realizing that he truly didn't, "I feel bad for her, I hope she didn't know what was happening. That's one thing I'm grateful for, when the demon was killing, when I was killing, I was not aware of it. I've only experienced it as a memory. Like a vivid dream I can't let go. I can't imagine being trapped and unable to stop yourself as you destroyed those you love." "She knew. I wish she had been oblivious also, but if she had been, I would be dead and another demon would be loose." Antoine smiled sadly at him, "She got her chance for redemption though, she died free." "How?" Author's note: You may have noticed that as of now the demons name appears to be 'insert demon name here'. I didn't forget to change it I just can't seem to get him named so if anyone has any suggestions I would be so grateful. Thanks. Andrea ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA- Step six -Acceptance (6/7) by Andrea Date: 12 May 1998 09:27:06 PDT disclaimers in part one. Antoine stared off into space, collecting himself, then began. "Joseph and I sat outside the room for hours and he told me everything he knew about this demon. I won't tell you everything just that Mandy was the initial child. That she had been able to hear his voice and he fed off her energy until he was strong enough to get the other children. He told me that the demon weakened without light. That he needed it to convert flesh into energy. They didn't know how he did it exactly, but leaving the children in the dark should weaken him enough to free them. We sat there, both of us truly believing that the children separated and left in the dark would soon be fine. And some of them were. Actually all of them were except Mandy. We could still hear her laughing from behind the door three days later. Joseph insisted we stop putting food in the room for her. He said we had to force the demon to use its stored energy. We had to weaken Mandy to weaken it. I could tell that Joseph wasn't telling me something, but I couldn't confront him with it. One by one we received calls from the other parents that their children seemed normal again. The children all said the bad feelings were gone. Joseph left to check on them. He returned five hours later. Frowning, he sat down and looked at me. I felt my stomach drop, he looked so sad. I remember his words, "They're all fine." I couldn't figure out why this wasn't good news. He looked at the floor for a few minutes and then destroyed the remainder of my world. "For Mandy... I think it's too late, the transformation has gone too far. The other children recovered so fast, the demon had obviously transferred most of his energy into her already. I'm sorry." I sat, stunned, we couldn't save her. She was going to become a demon. Then Joseph spoke again, "I can't let the demon have his body. Do you understand?" I knew then that my best friend intended to kill my Mandy. I stared at him, at the pain in his face, a pale reflection of mine. Moving quickly I grabbed a silver candlestick, actually it's the one on the shelf behind you, and hit him over the head. Pulling the book and revealing the secret door I undid the locks and turned on the lights. Desperate to get Mandy somewhere away from Joseph I ran into the room. She was waiting for me. She barely looked like my niece anymore. And as I felt my strength draining from me I realized she wasn't. I collapsed on the floor unable to move. She stood over me laughing in a voice I didn't recognize. Suddenly, we were plunged into darkness and I heard a muffled thud as Joseph tackled her. There was a mind-shattering scream as Mandy took his energy from him. I watched, frozen, as everything that was Joseph disappeared. He screamed to me before he died, "You have to kill her before she completes the change." I knew he was right, this creature was not my Mandy, just as you are not your demon. Realizing I still held the candlestick in my hand I hit her over the head again and again, but she would not fall. Tears streaming down my face I prayed for strength and then..." Antoine paused struggling to find words. "Um...you can't stop there." Antoine hesitated then pulling himself together went on, "Then my Mandy spoke to me for the last time. She begged me to finish it, not to let the demon win. For her I swung the candlestick one last time and fell as her head split open. She didn't move and not caring any longer whether I lived, I crawled over to her body. Looking into her eyes I saw only love. The demon had fled its dying host. Picking her up I cradled her and sobbed. She opened her eyes once, smiled and then slipped away. My precious Mandy once again." Antoine stopped the tears streaming down his face. "Brave child,"his eyes filling with tears for the little girl and for Antoine, "no wonder you loved her so much." "She was special," Antoine smiled, "I was so lucky to have known her just as I am lucky to know you now." "Will you kill me then?" figuring he had finally found the meaning in Antoine's sad tale, "Rid the world of another demon?" "How could you even ask me that," jumping up from his chair Antoine strode across the room to stand in front of him, "Did you hear nothing I said? Do you think I would have killed her if she could have controlled the demon?" "I am the demon," struggling to make Antoine understand, " I let this happen to me." "How? Did you make the choice knowing fully what you would become? Did you plan on killing? Did you realize the demon would be in control? Mandy talked back to the voice in her head, is it her fault?" Antoine spat the words at him. "No...I don't know," trembling, he tried to hold on to his words, "I need to be punished." "No, you want to be punished. That won't erase what the demon...you did. Why not try to replace the bad with good. That's what I did. Still do. That's why I sit in this church with the doors unlocked day after day waiting for lost souls. I can't erase what happened, but maybe I can do some good for others," Antoine was gesturing wildly around at their surroundings, "It is my salvation and my punishment in one, living here where she died, I save other lives." He was starting to feel the slightest hint of understanding, "So, you accepted what happened, which was in no way your fault by the way, and tried to replace bad with good?" "Exactly." "So I should do penance here instead of in hell?" "No...not penance, you do this for you. You didn't choose to kill all those people, even if you chose to become a vampire. There is no way you could have known what would happen. I'm just saying, doing good will help you deal with the guilt you feel. And it will also help this world." "I know what I could do. I could help the slayer kill other vampires. I could save people from other demons. I could..." "...volunteer?" "Yah, no, I think I would prefer to help the Slayer," smiling at Antoine he stood up from his chair, "Getting rid of other vampires certainly seemed to help Angel deal." "Angel?" "Not important." Thinking of Angel's guilt, his suddenly slammed him in the gut, "Okay, so say I've got a reason to continue, but how do I deal with the guilt long enough to do anything other than brood?" "Do you trust me?" Antoine said suddenly serious again. "What? Yes, I think I actually do." "Then let me hold the guilt. I'll tell you if you should be feeling it. Accept what you did before, but don't dwell on it." "I don't think I can." "You may not think so now, but it will get easier. The memories will fade and the more good you do the farther back they will go. It's getting early, are you planning on driving back tonight?" "Yah, Dru probably is...well Dru, so I'd better get back," He looked at Antoine reluctant to leave him, "Can I come back and visit?" "Please, I want to know how you are doing." Antoine smiled at him, "Maybe next time I'll let you talk." "I've enjoyed listening, I'll never forget about Mandy." "Good, its good that she exists still in our thoughts." Antoine led him from the comfort of the little room back into the recrimination of the church. He faltered a little and Antoine put his hand under his elbow and led him towards the lobby, away from the altar. At the door Antoine surprised him by grabbing him into a huge hug. He stood stiffly, the enjoyment of being touched warring with his unfamiliarity of having anyone but Dru touch him. Feeling uncomfortable he blurted out, "You should lock your doors." Antoine just looked at him knowingly. "Well, at least let me protect this place against vampires, I can get a spell." Chuckling Antoine said, "Do you really think many vampires go to churches?" "I did once. Please, what if an old enemy wants to hurt me through you." "Fine, for you. There can't be that many vampires with souls that I could help running around. How did you come to get your soul back anyway? "Long story. The short version is, Angel's girlfriend and her friends were trying to restore his soul and they kind of overreached. " "Exactly how many did they restore, how many are there?" "Twenty-two right now, we lost two in the first week. Suicide." "You won't...you promise?" He stood staring at this person who seemed so invested in his future already and smiled, "Not without telling you. It's getting close to morning, I'd better go. Good-bye." He slipped out the door and ran to the car, turning he saw Antoine in the doorway waving. Thinking of something that had been bothering him since Antoine had finished his story he turned back, "Why was the demon strong enough to possess those kids, I thought he was a weak demon?" "Huh...oh, turns out we were living on a Hellmouth, all paranormal activity is stronger there." "There's a hellmouth here too?" "Too? No, it wasn't here, I had the church moved here. I'm not quite that stupid. Someone tells me I'm living on a Hellmouth I move. It was in a town called Sunnydale. It's about two hours away from here. Avoid it." Laughing he had answered him, "I live there." Getting into the car he savoured Antoines look of shock. Turning the car on he headed for home. Feeling hopeful that he could accomplish something good too, in a small way, make up for all of the bad. And he had done fairly well, although all Angel ever remembered were the few slip-ups he had made. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: VA- Step six -Acceptance, (7/7) by Andrea Date: 12 May 1998 09:27:58 PDT Disclaimers in part one Angel stood at the front of the room, just finishing his talk. "So, in conclusion I would like to say that I am grateful to all of you for your support and especially to Buffy for being Buffy." The applause as Angel finished his speech startled him out of his memories. Looking around at all of the faces he smiled. They had all come so far since last year. He had come so far. They had bought a house and he didn't mind helping the slayer. There was nothing better than working out his issues on a soulless demon. Drucilla grabbed his hand then, he turned to her smiling, "Did you enjoy Angel's little talk lov'?" She smiled at him and for one moment he was so thankful to Antoine for saving him. "Let's go home and take the dogs for a walk." Just then Xander headed back up to the front of the room and started talking again, introducing other vampires who wanted to talk. Thinking that these people talked way to much Spike drifted back into his memories of the past year. Back when they were still living in the factory and Dru hadn't decided she was the vampire version of Dr. Doolittle. That began two months after their souls had been restored. He remembered that night, how she wanted only one bird. "Spike...Spike I want a new bird, one that lives." Dru stared at him with that vunerable look that got him everytime. He'd been unable to say no to her when he was run by a demon, with this soul he was basically her slave. She hadn't realized that yet, she would eventually. "A bird Dru? Are you sure you want to take that chance?" He would do anything for her even if it meant getting another squaking bird that because of his soul he wouldn't be able to ignore as it died. A bird that would live for years and years and years chirping incessantly. "Willow told me of a place in town were people take abandoned animals, she said there were a few birds there. Please Spike?" She peered at him through her bangs, a pouty smile on her lips. "Of course you can have a bird my princess. Do I ever deny you anything?" He hadn't, that was half the problem. He couldn’t believe Willow had told her this. It was enough to make him feel a little miffed at Willow. She seemed quite determined to destroy his life. Now she's telling Dru about animal shelters, the soul restoration hadn't been enough for her? She said she hadn't meant to restore his soul. Not that he could complain about it, he was supposed to be grateful. Grateful that he could have a demon inside him begging him to kill and a soul that said he couldn't? Not that he wanted to kill exactly, it was just easier before. Angel would probably even agree with that. If you were pouring holy water on him at the time. "Can we go tonight, they're open til eight. Miss Edith wants a bird tonight." He hadn't known Druscilla before she'd lost her soul and he could admit to being a bit disappointed that her soul was as loopy as the rest of her. But he loved her and that was that. He liked being her protecter. "Sure baby, as soon as the sun sets we go." And with that he had sealed his fate. The trip to the shelter turned out to be the first of many. The one bird quickly turned into three birds, two dogs and a cat. And that was only in the first week. The factory turned into a foul smelling animal shelter leading to a mass exodus of the other vampires. Dru with soul was much more conscientious about feeding her animals, but regretably not so much about cleaning up after them. Which didn't really matter for long once Dru visited Willow at her house and decided that she wanted one of her own. Not a nice little apartment like Angel, but a house with bedrooms they would never use and a basement that they would. He had managed to put away a little money over the years, but not a lot. He'd always figured that he could just steal more if he needed it. Now with his soul and everything he couldn't do that. He was fairly sure there was some guideline about it. But Dru wanted a house so he found a realtor who could show them around at night and they bought a house. A very expensive house. He tried to explain to Dru that they didn't have all the money in the world, but she just pouted and continued shopping for furnishings. He was fairly sure he would be the first vampire to go bankrupt. At the very least be the first vampire to get a job. Angel had tons of money, he had over a hundred years to invest, guess that's what you do when you can't kill. Angel would give him the money if he asked, not that he would ever ask him. He would much rather get a job at the 7-11. Which wasn't such a bad idea, he could work the graveyard shift, it's not like getting shot would hurt him that much. So he went out the next day to try and find a job. Wasn't as easy as he hoped. He had gotten some fake documentation to open his bank accounts but he hadn't thought about fake experience. The humiliation of it, teenagers telling him he wasn't qualified to sell cigarettes. That was when guideline two had come into existance. The kid really had it coming. He hadn't kill the brat but he had certainly messed with his mind a little bit. Well, maybe a lot. Everyone was pretty ticked at him for that little incident. He'd been on the naughty vampire list for over two weeks. He hadn't meant to scare him so much but the kid had been so rude. He gave up on the job idea after that. Angel had given him a loan and taught him how to play the stockmarket. Another thing Angel held over his head without ever saying a word. He was better at it than Angel was anyway, he paid him back in less than three months. Everything had actually been fine for a while except he gradually noticed that Willow seemed to be visiting Dru more and more. He remembered once he was sitting in his darkened living room one afternoon soon after they had moved in, when he heard a pounding at the door. "Spike, Dru, anyone awake?" Sitting there thinking, Willow, it figured it would be Willow. Was she Dru's best friend now or something? ,She was forever coming over in the middle of the day. Not that he slept the day away it was just the principle of it. They were vampires. On the other hand she did take the dogs out so there were fewer accidents in the house. "Hi Spike, where's Dru?" Willow bounded into the room carelessly shutting the door behind her. " Do you mind, I _will_ turn to dust if that hits me." he glared at her and moved further into the shadows vowing to remember to lock the door from now on. " Sorry." Willow threw her apology over her shoulder as she disapeared into the basement. He turned back to the television wishing Dru would slip up and destroy that one. She had been nothing but trouble since he had first met her. The brainy member of the scooby gang. He sat in the livingroom for a while longer letting his anger build at Willow. How dare she come into a vampires house in the middle of the day without an ounce of fear. Getting more annoyed by the second, he finally jumped up ready to go downstairs and give Willow a piece of his mind when they came bounding up the stairs, an assortment of animals following. "Spike, Willow wants to know if we want her old computer, she's getting a new one." Dru had been so excited, conveniently forgetting that she barely knew how to read. "Charity work now Willow?" He was furious, how dare she offer him charity. "What, no. I just...I thought you might like it. It would give you something to do. And...oh...I'm sorry." Willow just stood there, her face as red as her hair. Immediately he was hit with guilt. She was just trying to be nice. "Sorry, I'm not at my best in the daylight. I'd...We'd love it." Swallowing the last of his pride he smiled at her. She brought it over after dark and spent the next six hours teaching him the basics. He loved it, played solitaire on it all night. She taught him how to surf the 'net over the next few nights. He hadn't been bored since. He was quickly surpassing Willow as hacker to the gang. And as much as he liked helping the slayer out when the big monsters were in town he prefered to help Giles and Willow with research the majority of the time. And not only because Angel was always with the slayer. "Okay everyone. I think that's it for tonight. Thanks for coming and we'll see you next week." Spike stretched, pulling himself back into the present. Turning to Dru he helped her up and headed out of the room. Buffy stopped him on the way out, dragging her lap-Angel behind her, "Spike don't forget you're on research this week. Check with your contacts will you? I've got a feeling." Assuring her he would get on the 'net as soon as he got home he finally left the meeting. Smiling to himself, he decided he would drive up to see Antoine tomorrow. To tell him that he was right, that doing good did help him manage the guilt. And, that a reformed vampire's existance could be, if not happy, then at least somewhat amusing. ------------------- The End. And know, I'll beg for feedback. Please. Please. Please. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Seven Date: 12 May 1998 16:28:09 EDT See the prologue for disclaimers and notes. Comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ "Part Seven: Divulgence" Place: Chase Residence. Time: May 22nd, 2012. "Cordelia-- Cordelia, please, open the door!" There was no answer. Xander knocked again, harder this time. "Cordelia!" He knew he was probably attracting the attention of everyone who walked by, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to care. "_Cordelia_!" "_Go away_!" she yelled, jerking the door open without warning. Xander stared at her for a moment when he saw the fury burning in her eyes. "Cordelia," he said quietly, "I need to talk to you." She shook her head. "No." She moved to slam the door in his face, but Xander moved first-- and got his foot wedged between the door and its frame. "Cordelia, _please_," he said, trying to force the door to open. She was working as hard as she could to push him out of the door, but in the end, Xander was the stronger of the two, and he managed to push through and into the front hall. Cordelia glared at him from the doorway as he turned back to look at her, wishing there was some way to make up for what he had said the night before. At the same time, though, he hated himself for hoping like that, because he knew he wouldn't feel the same way if it weren't for the fact that he needed her help and needed...well, to use her. He sighed inwardly. As if using Cordelia was anything new, he thought with a certain degree of sarcasm. "Cordelia," he said, wondering where to go from that word. "Go to hell," she snapped. "I can't _believe_ you, Xander Harris-- you haven't changed a _bit_." "Cor--" "You realize, this is breaking in. I can call the police now, and have them come, and arrest you, and so help me God, I'll--" "Cordelia--" "Don't _Cordelia_ me!" she exclaimed. "God _damn_ it, Xander, you think you can say what you said last night and then just march back in here today because you want-- whatever it is you _want_, and then when I say to get away from me you _force_ you way through the door and think _that's all there is to it_?!" She paused, but only long enough to take a quick breath. "Of course, for self- centered _you_, I suppose that's _more_ than enough." Her glare lost a touch of the hot fury, replacing it with a coldness Xander wasn't used to seeing in her. "Get out," she said. "Or so help me, Xander, I'll call the police." He stared for a moment as she turned on her heel and stalked into the kitchen, and a few seconds later he heard her pick the phone up and start dialing. "Cordelia!" he called, taking a few steps after her, "would you just--" He shook his head. "Put that _down_," he said, nodding to the phone. "No," she said coldly, hitting a few of the buttons. "Cordelia, don't make me--" "Make you what?" she snapped. "What, exactly, do you think you're going to do if I don't hang up and let you keep insulting me, hm?" Xander sighed, then reached over and pulled the phone from her hands, pulling the battery covering off the bottom and sticking the batteries in his pocket as she watched in fury. "That," he said. "You--" He caught her wrists as she moved to shove him, doing his best to keep his patience, and knowing that no matter what he thought, Cordelia was probably right-- and besides that, she didn't have any way of knowing he wasn't going say any more choice words about what she had or hadn't done or told him in the past. "I need to ask you a few things," he said quietly, as he gently pushed her onto one of the stools that was arranged around her kitchen table. She glared at him, silent and furious. "Cordelia, please," he said, wondering if there were any way of making her understand why he was suddenly willing to forget the fact that she'd kept a secret so important from him when it really mattered, when he might have been able to save Buffy from death, when he might have been able to _do_ something instead of spend the last ten years miserable. "Let me go," she said. Her voice shook, slightly, and Xander's heart sank when he realized that he must be scaring her. Must be holding her wrists a little too hard. "Will you call the police?" She looked at him a moment, and he could almost see the wheels turning in her head. He was nuts, she must be thinking. Lost his mind and dangerous. Finally, she shook her head, and he let her go. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. She didn't move to get up, to try and leave, or get him out. Only sat there with that cold gaze locked on him. "I hope so," she finally said. "It's just...I need to talk to you." "Funny," she snapped, "and here I thought you had to yell at me, or fling accusations at me, or--" "Cordelia, not now, please. This is important." "You broke into my house and threatened me, it had better be." "I didn't threaten you!" he objected. She rubbed her wrists gently. "It was implied." He sighed. "Cordie, I would never hurt you. I promise." She didn't look as though she believed him. He wondered if she had any idea how much that hurt, seeing her lose faith in him like that in the space of three days, when he had thought they would have been able to just move on and... And what? There was nothing to move on to, he found himself thinking. Nothing, nothing...a big fat load of _nothing_. He sighed. *Way to be positive, Xander,* he thought ruefully. "I need to ask you some things. About Buffy." She shook her head. "No." "Corde--" "Every time," she began calmly, "that I've opened my mouth about her, you wind up screaming at me." She shook her head. "No." "I just need to--" "_No_," Cordelia repeated. "But I just--" "_No_, Xander." Shaking his head, his hand moved into his pockets, pulling out the book she had given him the night before. "Cordelia," he said, and ignored her interruption when she voiced it, "look here, would you?" He flipped the book open to the sheet of paper he had folded over inside it, marking the place where Giles' notes could be found. "Here." She looked at it for a long moment. "What?" she asked. "It's...I said this. Earlier." He shook his head. "And it looks like the kind of thing that..." A pause. "Willow and I saw her earlier. Buffy. On campus." Cordelia stared at him. Her thoughts-- that he was a raving lunatic and she would be lucky if she made it out of here with her life, let alone without telling him what he wanted to know-- were written all over her face. He sighed. "Cordie, I need to know where she was going when she died." "You're nuts," she breathed. "Xander..." "I'm not," he said, though he wasn't so sure of that himself. "Cordelia, please, just tell me where she was going to meet him..." "Xander!" "It's all in this book! All right here, I said the incantation and now if I can get into proximity with her, I'll be able to--" He broke off. Cordelia read over the lines in the book again, quickly, then shook her head. "Do what?" she asked, almost gently. "Xander, it says here that by reciting the incantation, you can talk to someone across the bridge of space and time...but that doesn't mean you'll be able to find her, or even stop her." "But--" "That's what you're going to do, isn't it," Cordelia said, and it wasn't a question. She shook her head. "Or try to do." She sighed. "Xander...you need help." "No I don't," he replied. "Cordelia, listen. If I can find her tonight in the graveyard, then I can stop her from staying, I can save her, then..." He trailed off. "Then what?" she asked. "What happens then?" He shook his head. "I don't know," he said quietly. "But I've got to try. Where was she going to go?" Cordelia shook her head. "No, Xander," she said. "I'm not going to-- this is ridiculous. You're losing your mind. Or something similar." "I'm _not_!" he insisted. "Ask Willow if you have to-- just tell me where she was going to be!" "She was going to be at the west end near the monument," Cordelia breathed after a long moment's hesitation. Then she turned a look on Xander that was so pained, so hurt, that he almost couldn't believe it was coming from her. "Xander, don't do this," she said softly. Xander shook his head. "Why not?" he asked. "There's nothing to lose at this point." "Your _mind_," Cordelia replied, "if you haven't lost it already. She's not going to be there, Xander, this is ludicrous and you shouldn't get your hopes up like this..." "No," he said. "Cordelia..." He sighed, leaned forward, and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I'm sorry. And thank you." "Xander--" she exclaimed, as he moved away. "I can't talk now," he said. "I have to get there. To wait." She shook her head. "But you're not making any sense, Xander, and besides, what if this doesn't work?" He shook his head, not answering because failure wasn't an option here. He had no _choice_ but to succeed. "It will," he said. "But if it doesn't?" she said. "Then what? You really think you'll be able to move on with your life?" "Either way," he said, and his voice was suddenly flat, betraying the deadness inside him when he thought about what he would have to become to live if this didn't work and he couldn't save her, "I have to try." ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 18) Date: 12 May 1998 16:53:03 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 18) Violent Scene ahead Drusilla murmured delicately in her slumber, awaking slowly... She was reaching for Miss Edith, when she heard the hysterical cries. She knew absently that they belonged to her mother, sadly this hadn't been the first time she'd heard them. "Papa?" Drusilla uttered, groggily as she forced her eyes awake from her sleeping position on the couch. She had to blink a couple times, before she could focus on anything. There were four or five women surrounding her. She immediately thought the worse. "What's the matter here?" She asked, her voice never betraying her frightened feelings as stand up. "What's going-" Drusilla couldn't finish the words as her eyes widened in at the site outside. But the curtains were shut so tightly. She saw nothing, her eyes betrayed, her mind! Her thoughts went straight through that thick curtain. Her poor heart beat in her throat, pounding so loudly that her head began to hurt and thought, she might actually swallow the throbbing muscle. She could hear the women's chatter as they all began to look at the girl oddly. Her body rocked, her breathing became ecstatic. Why did everything seem closer? Louder? Her eyes flooded with the picture her eyes saw. Out the window, her fathers body hung on the tree spread eagle, as though on a crucifix, rather than a tree. His hair was tied to the limbs above as though to keep the head on. Everything was tied to the tree! His throat was gushed in blood and nearly torn off, as though some savage beast had clawed out his throat. She watched as he men tried to climb the high tree to get down the body, and she felt herself becoming sick. Drusilla had to look down, she had to get away from the sickly site. But it didn't matter! Look away, Shut your eyes, claw them out! The image remained! A stunned streak of adrenaline streamed through her weakened body. Her eyes went immediately red, and swollen. But then the tears stopped falling. Dull shock began to over come her hysteria, at the scene before her. It no longer mattered. Everything was black. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 19) Date: 12 May 1998 17:47:08 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 19) All the family was on their way, everyone was gathered around Isabelle now, as she went hysterical over her husbands death. Drusilla was in shock, she felt no sorrow, no pain, no denial, no inkling of regret. None of these feelings plagued her. Perhaps one. Sickness, she felt sickened at her mothers tears. Isabelle had been forced into the marriage, and like it or not, Dru knew with out a doubt her parents never had loved each other. So she sat upstairs in her room holding Lydia. She had been up there for over three hours, on the pretext of resting. Her only desires were to get away from the family, and their artificial grief. Poor Lydia. She didn't understand what was going on, she knew of her fathers death, Isabelle had so crudely told her. But she didn't really grasp the concept of death. That her father had been hurt severely, displayed for the town to witness. That he would never come back. Never be there for them again. "Dru! What's wrong? Why mustn't we go outside?" Lydia picked Miss Edith off from the bed and began to brush the dolls fair hair. Drusilla had to force herself to open her mouth, to take a breath, to talk to her little sister. She had to force herself to calm, she would feint again she knew, if she didn't get herself under control. Drusilla pushed her body upwards, and she looked at her sister. "Lydia." She said almost sighed, taking a deep breath inwards. Her body was trembling again, and she felt that aggravating nausea she'd just experienced. "Go downstairs to comfort the family, tell them I shall be down stairs after I nap a little" The small girl was about to protest, but one look at her sister reddened eyes told her not to. Instead she went to Drusilla, giving her sister a comforting hug, and leaving Miss Edith in Dru's lap left. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Eight -- (1/1) Date: 12 May 1998 22:14:09 EDT Please send all comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com. This is chapter eight of thirteen. See the prologue for notes and disclaimers. ~ "Part Eight: Divergence" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: November 24th, 2002, Late Night. So cold. Buffy couldn't believe how _freezing_ she was. Barely letting herself think, she tossed a glance toward the gravestone she had put her stakes behind earlier. Despite the chill, her hands were sweating, making it harder for her to keep hold of the black candle she had brought with her and the zippo lighter she was going to use to light it when Angel showed up. If he showed up. That was something else she was stressing about, now. Not what would happen if he showed up and mauled her or killed her or worse, but what if he simply didn't show up at _all_. She thought back over the past few days, remembering everything she had done to provide for every possibility she could think of. Talking to Cordelia, telling her mom she was going to Willow's. Telling Willow that if her mom found out about this huge project Buffy had to do at the library, Buffy'd get killed, so could Willow please just tell Mrs. Summers that her daughter was spending the night, if it came up? She'd felt guilty about it when Willow had nodded and said sure, she would cover for her. But it was worth it, Buffy kept telling herself, because in a few more hours this would all be over. Over and done with. The two syllables that had been repeating themselves in her mind all night long showed no sign of slowing: *Angel, Angel, Angel...* Four _years_. Almost a fifth of her entire life. She had read stories when she was a girl, stories about women whose husbands and lovers went away to wars and never came back, or came back after so long away that everyone thought they were dead. Not until Angel had Buffy realized it was possible to love someone that much, that hard, that you would never leave them and never give up hope that one day they would return to you. Her fear that Angelus might not show up suddenly vanished as her Slayer's-sense suddenly felt a sharp pull, and she knew he was coming. Closer by the second. So a non-appearance was one fear she could strike off the board, because it wasn't going to be an issue any longer. Now she had to prepare to meet him in battle. To the end. She'd kill Angelus tonight, keeping only her Angel and not the demon that had ruled him for the past four years. Funny. She'd have thought, after four years, a few more minutes would feel like nothing. Instead, the seconds seemed to be stretching out and out into infinity, each one longer than the last. It had taken all afternoon after getting home from Cordelia's, but she had memorized the lines and how to deliver them. Check that off the list of things to panic about, she told herself. She took a breath, sipping in the clear, cold air. She even allowed herself a slight smile, thinking about what she was going to do to the demonic son of a bitch that had stolen her lover away for all these years. Out of nowhere, she heard a hiss, and a large mass rammed her to the ground. The zippo and the candle flew from her hands and into the grass, and Buffy found herself staring up into Angelus' cold, cruel eyes, her wrists pinned to the grass and stretched over her head. "Buffy," Angelus said, so softly she could barely make out anything but the menace in his tone, "I'm sorry, but I think this game of cat-and-mouse has gone on long enough." His lips twisted into a sort of grin. "I heard you were planning on recursing me tonight." He shook his head. "Sorry, babe. Ain't gonna happen." Then his smile widened slightly. "However...I did think maybe I could give _you_ something." Struggling through his words, Buffy was trying to squirm loose. But in the years since he'd been re-possessed, Angel had gained strength-- and now she had to admit, she might be in over her head. But all she needed was that candle, and the lighter...how could she have let them go, let them fall away like that? She felt tears pricking in her eyes as she realized there was nothing she could do without them. Then she forced the tears down and told herself she had to fight through this-- couldn't let the bastard get her down after this long, and the battle was by no means over. Angelus took a moment to reposition her arms so that he was holding both her wrists in one hand, his grip like a vise. Then he pulled a small cardboard figure out of the back pocket of his jeans, and it took Buffy a moment to realize it was wrapped in black ribbon. "See this?" he asked. "Know what it means?" She glared up at him, trying to work her legs up to a point where she would have the leverage to force him off her and get back up. "I've bound you," he said, his tone almost an academic one-- even tinged with a measure of pride and arrogance that an academic would have used. "That means you can't fight me, Buffy. You don't have a chance." He leaned in and smile, baring his fangs slightly. "Isn't that lovely?" She glared up. "Fucking beautiful," she hissed, struggling for another moment, but still unable to break his grip. He rolled his eyes. "Buffy, come _on_," he said. "Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that you've broken out of grips like this. I could get up and we could fight, if you want me to prove it to you." There was a smirk on his face as he said the words. "Fine," she said, "try it and we'll see." He shook his head with a slight sigh. "Nah. It'll be much more fun the way I've got things planned." Slipping the figure back into his pocket, he slid his free hand down her throat, pushing her head to one side. To her horror, Buffy found she was powerless. Try as she might, there was nothing she could do nothing to break free, and with every passing second she was wishing more and more that she had told Xander and Giles what she had been planning-- even if having backup would have meant they would both be in danger, even if they would have tried to stop her. There was a sharp laugh as Angelus saw comprehension dawning in her expression. Then he bent down and fixed his fangs to her throat. The moment his fangs penetrated her flesh, Buffy realized she was in trouble, and in it deep. "No," she whispered, as she began to feel lightheaded, and it was only then that Angelus pulled away from her, blood trickling from the corner of his lips. He smiled down on her, stroking her hair with one hand. "See, Buffy?" he asked. "We can be together now, you know." "In your dreams," she tried to hiss, but the words came out in more of a whisper than in angry defiance. She could barely make her eyes focus on him. "Every night," he chuckled. Then he let her hands go completely and, still sitting on her, pulled a knife from his jacket, making a swipe across his wrist. "Time for Buffy to have a little snack," he said. Buffy tried to twist away, but it was all she could do to get one hand free and cast it so that it gripped the back of the headstone a few feet away, behind which her stakes lay. She swallowed hard as Angel reached down toward her, and shut her mouth tight. The vampire was too busy pinning her nose closed with the hand that was holding the knife to realize she had pulled one of the stakes out. Had Buffy not been ready to faint from lack of both blood and oxygen, she probably wouldn't have done what she did. But she was, and she couldn't think clearly enough to stop herself. She was already having a hard time staying focused enough to keep from drawing a breath-- which would have meant drinking the blood Angelus was offering her, and certain damnation. If Angelus hadn't been so intent on turning her into a vampire, he would have seen the stake earlier. As it was, neither realized what the Slayer was doing until ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Long Day" (2/2) Date: 12 May 1998 22:14:27 EDT See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. Spoilers for "The Becoming" part One. ~ //Reach, she said for no one else but you. But I'm here all the time And I won't go away.// "...'nuff...dy." As Xander turned to leave Willow's room, he thought he heard Oz murmur something behind him. He turned. "What?" he asked. "Nothing," Oz said, but by the tone in his voice, Xander had the feeling that wasn't what he'd said. Something in the other boy's voice... "No, really," Xander said, his brow furrowing. "What." Oz swallowed, turning back to face him. "Didn't say anything," he began, then before Xander could call him on the bullshit, he continued. "Except that you've done enough to her already." Xander looked at him blankly. "Excuse me," he said, "but I was only asking 'cause I care about--" "Yeah, whatever," Oz broke in, cutting him off. The chill in the were-teen's voice was unmistakable, and Xander had to fight from taking a step backward. He stared for a moment at Oz's back, wondering what he was supposed to say now. What he was supposed to do. He did care about Willow. A lot. Yeah, he'd ripped her and Buffy out yesterday for being as stupid as they'd been behaving, for wanting to try and be all sweet and fix what had already broken instead of just child- proofing the entire world, but he'd thought Willow had realized that wasn't personal. It was...well, it was work. Of sorts. Business. His professional opinion. From the way Oz was treating him now, though, Xander had the feeling that wasn't how it had wound up going over. "Fine," he said quietly. "Just, when she comes to, tell her I love her, okay?" The senior seemed to tense at the words, and Xander could see his jaw clench, in profile. There was no answer. "Like a sister, man," he snapped, not knowing if he was more disgusted with himself or with Oz for the unconscious assumption that seemed to be figuring in here. "Like a sister," he repeated as he turned to stalk away. Cordelia was down in his room asleep, he would go sit with her till she woke up, maybe by then Buffy would have woken up and things could be alright again. Maybe he'd wake up from this crazy two-year nightmare and discover he was still a sophomore and everything was still horribly simple. That the town he loved wasn't on a hellmouth and that everything else hadn't suddenly gone unmistakably _wigged out_. "You know," he heard a voice from behind him call, "if you loved her, you'd think a little more about how you hurt her. 'Cause you hurt her a lot." Xander turned to respond to that, but the door to Willow's room slammed shut and he heard the lock turn. He stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do or say, how he was supposed to react to something like that. _Damn_ it, Oz couldn't just leave things, could he. Had to tack that extra jab on. Had to try and hurt him even more. He shook his head slowly. Damn it, damn it all. Damn it all past anything that'd ever been damned before. "Xander?" came a call from down the corridor. He looked up to see Mrs. Rosenburg down the hall, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and looking worried beyond belief. "Yeah," he said with a weak smile. "She's down there." He waved in the direction of Willow's room. Mrs. Rosenburg nodded, pausing for a moment to give him a quick hug. "Thanks, honey," she said. Then she sighed. "I tried your parents, but nobody picked up--" "It's okay," Xander said, interrupting. "I'm home alone for the week." Briefly, it looked as though Mrs. Rosenburg might say something to that, but then she caught herself and turned to go visit her daughter. Xander turned away so he wouldn't have to see Oz letting her into the room. The threshold he had the feeling he wouldn't be allowed to cross. "Xander?" A new voice. He looked back toward the direction of his own room, and saw Cordelia leaning into the hallway. Her hair slightly mussed, but she was still beautiful, and he sighed just looking at her. Then he took a quick breath. "Yeah, over here, Cordie," he said with a weak smile. She turned her head to look in his direction, and a smile broke over her features. "Hey!" she said, and left the doorway to his room to walk briskly toward him. "Where'd you go?" He shrugged. "Walk." He wasn't about to tell her he'd been to see Willow and gotten kicked out. "Oh," she said, and it was obvious that she could sense that something was wrong. He supposed it was probably obvious. After a moment, she smiled slightly. "You know," she said, "you were really a hero in there." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "You saved my life." He kissed her back, but only for a moment before he gently. pushed her away. His eyes drifted downward to end upon the floor. "Xand?" she asked, brushing her fingertips through his hair. "You okay?" "Yeah," he lied. "Just...I don't feel like much of a hero." She looked at him for a long few moments, and somewhere in her eyes he found the realization that explained why she'd come searching for him, why she seemed so edgy. The fear that none of them had wanted to mention. And he realized, also, that tonight... None of them would feel like heros, tonight. * //It's been a long day Always Ain't that right.// "Buffy?" Buffy turned, swallowed, looked at the darkened shadow standing in the doorway. Her breath quickened before the silhouette registered. "Cordie." "Xander's asleep." "Oh." The other girl walked into the room, looked around. Didn't make any sort of move toward the light switch. Thank God. If He existed. Which Buffy found herself doubting more and more, these days. "Willow?" "I checked. Oz is still with her." Buffy shook her head. She'd been right when she'd told Xander, Oz was loyal. He hadn't left Willow's bed the entire day. She sighed, her eyes drifting to the floor. "Xander?" "Asleep. Okay. I think." Cordelia shook her head. "As okay as any of us is going to be." There was a long moment of silence. "Giles." "They still haven't found him." "Oh." Cordelia swallowed, and Buffy heard every sound. "God," she whispered. "I'm such an idiot." Cordelia looked at her. "Why?" she asked. "Because. I let him lure me in. I should have seen it. Should have felt it. Should have known--" "You did the best you could," she heard Cordelia whisper. "It wasn't good enough." Cordelia shrugged. "Better than we could have done." "Not my best." "Still," Cordelia whispered, and Buffy had the sudden feeling that it wasn't respect for the situation that had Cordelia's behavior so muted, but rather that her voice was betraying the fact that she was close to tears. She sat, silent. Because she didn't know what to say. Or how to express the emotions in her gut. How badly she'd failed, this time. It had been bad, before. It had been horrible. She'd gotten people killed. Hurt. She'd turned the one she loved over to the Darkness, for God's sake. But never this. Even when he had systematically targeted her, trying to take everything she cared about away from her, Angelus had never managed to do this. But all it had taken was the possibility that he might kill more people if he didn't see her. Egotism, pure and simple. She was the Slayer, and that had cost her the possibility of victory, tonight. And not the empty victory that even now was on the horizon, but a real victory. Where the winners felt as though they'd won something, not just lost the least. Egotism. She was the Slayer. That didn't mean they would rather take her out than destroy the world. Didn't mean she couldn't have stayed in the library to protect them, the stake connected with Angelus' chest, driving through once-- and missing his heart. Buffy jerked it back out as she heard Angelus howl in pain. She felt something cold and sharp slice through her throat, then drive itself into her belly, and the last thing she felt before the darkness took her was the stake finding its target and then falling onto her gut as the pressure there suddenly lightened and disappeared. The only one who saw everything, and watched it all in horror, was the man who stepped out from the bushes a few seconds after Angelus had turned to dust. ~ Please send all comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. and told herself that even if a few had died tonight, Angel would have been brought back and incapable of hurting anymore. At the very least. And if she had, she would have been able to stop them. "Hey," she whispered, "you know, you were right." Cordelia was silent a moment. Surprised, probably. "I was?" she finally said softly. "I should have stayed," Buffy whispered, as much to herself as to the other girl. "Could have helped you. We could have saved him." For a long time, Cordelia was silent. Then Buffy felt the air next to her move, ever so slightly. Noiselessly. As Cordelia moved beside her, and put her arm around the Slayer's shoulder while the tears began to flow. END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody *Lyrics by Matchbox 20, used without permission. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Long Day" (1/2) Date: 12 May 1998 22:14:02 EDT Spoilers: "The Becoming", Part One. This is my way of putting things in their places so I can sleep tonight. Disclaimers: What's mine is mine, what's their's is their's. Distribution: Not without my express permission, please. Comments/feedback: YES PLEASE. ~ "Long Day" //Hey, it's me, I can't get myself to go away Oh God, I shouldn't feel this way...// *It's not about you, Buffy.* Not about her. Never about her. Then why couldn't he _stop_ thinking about her, what was wrong with him that every thought he had possessed him in ways he'd never been possessed by thoughts before? *It was never about you.* Never her. Never. He kicked a gravestone, watching with a tinge of satisfaction as it toppled into the grass. Fuckin' idiot humans. Fuckin' bitch. Arrogant, past arrogant even. God, what was with her, thinking she had any right to-- *Except it's not about her, damnit. Get that fuckin' straight, loser.* He spit at the ground in disgust, wondering how it was the air itself could carry her scent. Bitch. He'd go home to Dru now. Find out how things at the library went. Losers. Idiots. Arrogant little _bitch_, thinking she could mean enough to him so he'd forsake his plans for his Armageddon, his precious end-of-the-world, his everything. For what, for her? From some pathetic sniveling Slayer he wanted to kill so badly it was hurting inside? He wanted it empty inside, and instead there was this aching, burning desire to feel her blood on his hands, to feel her flesh ripping beneath his jaws, to see and feel her breaking with every ounce of himself. The library. He grinned to himself, spitting again to see if the air passing over his taste buds had stopped reeking of her, her sweat, her hair, her perfume. It was making him fucking _sick_. Little bitch was gonna find quite a sight, if Dru had done her job. He wondered how many dead there would be. He wondered, how could she have been that _arrogant_, that stupid, he had known she was an airhead but this was just idiotic. Or maybe she thought the other Slayer's presence had meant something, maybe she thought having backup made her invincible. But then again, he knew what they didn't. This Kendra, she was far weaker than Buffy, and she was all method. Because, he told himself, that's what had been catching him with Buffy, time after time-- how the little bitch didn't do anything the way she was supposed to. How she never spoke or thought the way she was supposed to speak or think. He let his gaze take in the graveyard with another grin, and another dry hack, but then he didn't care whether or not he could taste her, whether or not he could still feel the brushburn or two she'd given him pulsing. A growl began to build in his throat as the corners of his lips curled upward into a smile. He let it rumble, feeling it fight its way up from the darkness inside him, through his throat, finally letting loose with a roar that threatened to split his very vocal cords. His eardrums nearly burst from the strain and volume, the air beating against them in close and tight pulses. He let the roar die on its own, without forcing, without easing. Without making himself feel anything. Operating purely on instinct. And when it, like everything else around him in the still of the graveyard, had died, he smiled. "You're gonna pay, Slayer," he said, his voice a low rumble over the roughened sensations that were traveling down his throat. "I'm gonna cut you to fucking pieces." Inside him, something small and nearly silent began to weep anew. * //Reach down your hand in your pocket And pull out some hope for me.// "Will," Oz murmured quietly, holding her hand in his own and squeezing it gently. His voice was breaking, almost, in his throat. He was going to cry here if he wasn't careful, and he didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad one. He'd never cried for somebody else before. Sure, there had been skinned knees and stuff, but he wasn't the crying kind. Most of the time he kind of wandered around in a daze, not knowing what to do. He sighed. "Jeez, Will." Shook his head once. Swallowed. Felt himself slowly moving into that dazed plane, where he wouldn't feel anything and it wouldn't hurt anymore. Maybe he could numb himself out, some. He knew Devon did that, and the other guys, sometimes. Sometimes. He didn't want to numb this out, though. Not what he was feeling for her, for his Willow. He blinked back a tear, moving to let his other hand enfold the hand that was already holding her. "Shoulda told me," he said quietly. "I mean, you know, not that..." He sighed, trailing off. Not that what? He wouldn't have been able to do anything, he supposed. He wished he would have. "Hey," came a voice from behind him. Oz turned, surprised to see that Cordelia wasn't hanging on Xander's arm. Or anywhere else around. "Hey, man," he replied, taking in the cast that had been wrapped around Xander's broken arm. Compound fracture, the nurse had said. Earlier, when Cordelia had actually thought that maybe Willow's boyfriend might want to know what had happened to her. "So," Xander said, his voice quiet, "anything change?" Oz shook his head. "No," he said. His eyes strayed back down to Willow, as he remembered the phone conversation they'd had the day before. *"I don't know what I'm supposed to think. Xander's been my best friend for, for forever, and now he-- well, he just went _off_ at Buffy and me, and, and Angel isn't, it isn't his fault..."* Then she'd dissolved into tears. And Oz had sat there, soothing her over the line, not knowing how much he was helping and how much had hurt even more. Because he didn't know her well enough, yet, to know how to help when other people betrayed her. "Oh," Xander replied. The dark-haired teen took a breath, then half-smiled. "You know," he said, "if you want to go get some coffee or something, I could, you know, sit here with her..." Oz shook his head. "Nah," he said quietly. "I'll stay." "You sure?" "Yeah." ~ More to come. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sarah Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Dream among the Nightmares (1/2) Date: 13 May 1998 00:21:29 -0400 (EDT) Ko. This is my own personal therapy, to get through the night, and maybe until the end of exams, at which point I can finish some of these stories crowding my brain. This is inspired by The Becoming, part I, and was created while listening to the soundtrack of Interview with the Vampire, which if you ask me is just perfect for an evil Angel. :) Disclaimer: I only wish this were mine. Maybe one day when I'm rich and bored it will be. Now I'm neither, so it's not. All I can say is, please, oh please Joss, don't kill off Angel. ::whine:: I need angst in my life. And you don't get more angsty than ::sigh:: Angel. Archive: If you feel you must, but tell me first. Comments: Most welcome! And send over anything else you deem necessary. Like chocolate or flowers. A Dream among the Nightmares By Sarah Liz Gordy I saw you there, among the light You were the light So young So innocent So very like the gypsy girl Who in her own way, led me to you You didn't know what you were to face What you would become What you already were You weren't ready You would be the lamb of their sacrifice He knew that, the one who found you But he took you on You, the only hope I don't know why it mattered to me I haven't felt like this in the century of guilt But I saw you Everything changed I don't know what to say or how to say it Perhaps I won't say anything at all But I cannot stay as I am I cannot let you I know what they would do to you What I would have done What I have done, to so many others of your calling I won't let that happen to you I'm not sure what I will do Right now, I'm not fit to do much of anything I must go now, and learn about you About them About this place, and reluctantly Myself as well But I will return to you Always to you I know the one who found you will protect you I do not fear on that account But the both of us, The demon and myself We know there is more For a demon, he reads too much But it has apparently served him well You will not be able to face your future battles alone I do not prize myself enough to think I will be the companionship you require Or desire And I know there will be others to aid you You are quite singular in that fashion But an equally singular vampire Endowed with a terribly singular curse Even he is allowed a dream Among his nightmares I see you know So different You stumbled across the weight of the world It fell upon you with your first slaying The knowledge The hurt It rips you up inside You don't know where to put it In your shallow world There's no place to hide And you don't even feel the tears As the ones you hold the closest Pull farther apart Under the lies you had to tell Because you knew they wouldn't believe I'll believe you But you wouldn't be able to return the favor Not yet I will prove myself To you To them To the demon inside me who even now rattles the cage of my willpower And to the little one thought enough of my potential To drag me from the sewer rat I'd become I had strength once and powers I do not know if they still exist within me Or if to banish the demon I must take leave of them as well But for you I will challenge it I will dip into the strength it possesses I will fight my inner demon as you fight the others So that I may join you in your battle And make it my own ~ Copyright 1998, Sarah Liz Gordy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a Sarah a a a a ::exhale, evil grin:: a a Liz a "I was goin' thru a *phase*" a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAngelus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sarah Subject: BUFFYFIC: A Dream among the Nightmares (2/2) Date: 13 May 1998 00:24:08 -0400 (EDT) See first part for intro and disclaimers - all apply. A Dream among the Nightmares By Sarah Liz Gordy I almost didn't recognize you But I've found you again We are both so very different from that first night You look older Much more so than your body could have become You look harder Stronger And just a shade more lonely I heard what happened What that I could have spared you that pain I would spare you more if I could But honestly, I don't know if I'll be able I am strong now More so than the others But theirs is a demonic rage Not to be underestimated But as I said, you seem quite changed Almost as if you could handle it now On your own But that is a good thing I think Now we are equals I have something for you I've been keeping it for sometime I never seem to be able to work up the nerve To actually give it to you That would require close contact Very dangerous For me To speak with the object of my every waking thought The subject of my only dream I think of you and I am ashamed I cannot be who you would want me to be If for some deluded reason You would ever want me Could I speak with you and stay calm? I cannot think of you and do the same Fear for you clouds my thinking Fear and something else I daren't define That which prompts me carry around this rattling box Like a besotted fool Waiting for that moment The one that has yet to present itself That will be the perfect moment The one in which we meet I still don't know what to say But the time is drawing near I no longer have a choice The situation around us demands action I look for you To present my gift A most sacred and feared emblem But you are already gone Out into the night I will search for you Lurking in the shadows That's one thing that little freak My teacher Will still let me do You think I am cruel to say so? He is a freak And so am I Neither of us is quite who we seem Neither of us belongs where we should He seems to be content as he is though Like he's found what he needs to do And perhaps Just now So have I * I was there, though I admit it to no one Cowering from the light Drawn to you ~ Copyright 1998 Sarah Liz Gordy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a Sarah a a a a ::exhale, evil grin:: a a Liz a "I was goin' thru a *phase*" a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAngelus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sarah Subject: BUFFYFIC: ruiner Date: 13 May 1998 00:28:05 -0400 (EDT) here is one i thought you could enjoy who's persective do *you* think it's in? nin Ruiner You had them on your side, didn't you? You believed in all your lies, didn't you? The ruiner's got a lot to prove he's got nothing to lose and now he made you believe The ruiner's your only friend well he's the living end to the cattle he deceives The raping of the innocent you know the ruiner ruins everything he sees Now the only pure thing left in my fucking world is wearing your disease How did you get so big? How did you get so strong? How did you get so hard? How did it get so long? You had to give them all a sign, didn't you? You had to covet what was mine, didn't you? The ruiner's a collector he's an infector serving his shit to his flies Maybe there will come a day when those that you keep blind will suddenly realize Maybe it's a part of me you took it to a place I hoped it would never go And maybe that fucked me up more than you'll ever know How did you get so big? How did you get so strong? How did you get so hard? How did it get so long? What you gave to me My perfect ring of scars You know I can see what you really are You didn't hurt me nothing can hurt me You didn't hurt me nothing can stop me now ~ one more... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a Sarah a a a a ::exhale, evil grin:: a a Liz a "I was goin' thru a *phase*" a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAngelus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: sarah Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: ruiner Date: 13 May 1998 00:39:40 -0400 (EDT) I am *so* sorry. I did *not* mean this for the list _at all_, though in my personal opinion, it has everything to do with buffy, though in a Spike-looking-at-what-Angel-is-doing-to-*his*-Dru sort of way. But that's not the point. Please forgive me for this waste of bandwidth and time, and have mercy on a poor college student who is so far wigged about exams that she doesn't even notice she's sending newly discovered nine inch nails lyrics to the buffy listserv instead of her best friend. Honest - they looked the same at the time... (but no, Rach doesn't actually look like Buffy, it was, oh, nevermind. I'll shut up now.) Please, be kind. I know I was wrong. No flames... ::whimpering in the corner:: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a Sarah a a a a ::exhale, evil grin:: a a Liz a "I was goin' thru a *phase*" a a a a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAngelus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Nine (1/2) Date: 13 May 1998 06:15:12 EDT This is part one of chapter nine. There are thirteen chapters in all. Please e-mail KylenRevik@aol.com with comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces. See prologue for all notes and disclaimers. ~ "Part Nine: Split Infinities" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: Split Infinities. Xander stared at the scene before him, mentally replaying what he had just witnessed as he moved forward to Buffy, the pile of ash that had fallen on her, and the stake that rested atop both. "Oh, God..." he whispered. "Buffy..." He lowered himself to his knees, moving to check Buffy's pulse. His fingers met with torn flesh and hot, wet blood. He swallowed sharply, feeling tears coming in his eyes. He had failed. He hadn't been here in time to stop her, and once he had seen her fighting Angelus he hadn't known how to stop the fight before she would die and things would fall apart, and he had missed his chance...this was so wrong, so very, very wrong, why hadn't he been able to stop it? How could he have _failed_? "Buffy," he whispered, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." His eyes traced down her shirt to the pool of blood that was forming at her belly, the hilt of the knife Angelus had thrust deep within her flesh still sticking out. Xander shut his eyes and let his hands wander to the knife's handle, giving it a hard jerk. It came out with a sick sucking sound, and his stomach turned as more blood flowed over his hands. When he finally opened his eyes, his gaze was on her face. Beautiful, her features relaxed. Ever since he had met her, when Buffy had first transferred to Sunnydale, there had been a haunted look about her. She had been one pursued since before he had known her. Now there was nothing-- no fear, no apprehension. No sign of anything but peace. He leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, choking slightly on the words, wondering how he could have been such an idiot, how he could have possibly let her do this again. Cordelia had been right, he realized. He had failed. He had missed his chance and now he had to live with the knowledge that if he had tried a little harder, if he'd been able to break free of the stillness that had claimed him when he had realized they were already fighting, he would have been able to do something. *Buffy is dead. And it's my fault.* The thought, he knew, would be echoing in his mind for the rest of his life. Slowly, as slowly as he could, he stood and stared and then began to walk away from the body. By the time he neared the cemetery entrance, the one he had come through, he could barely make himself move at all, so great was the pain that echoed though his mind with every thought of her. Lying there. Bleeding. Dead. And someone was coming toward him. Xander swallowed quickly, wondering if Cordelia might have followed him, maybe she had decided he needed to be stopped. Maybe she had called the police after all. Maybe a million things. Maybe he was insane and seeing things and the entire night was a delusion and he would never know for sure. "Candle, guide ye the way for..." He glanced up at the voice, realizing immediately that it wasn't Cordelia's. His eyes began to search for the source of the voice, but when he saw it he could hardly believe his eyes. Buffy was making her way through the gates of the cemetery. He felt a strangled cry in his throat, not words, just a sort of disbelieving choke. But it was enough-- the Slayer glanced toward him. Though he wasn't sure if she could actually see him, here in the shadows, she was perfectly illuminated by the lights of the entrance, and he knew it was her. Not a hallucination, not a vision, not some sort of madness he would never be able to conquer. She was Buffy, and more remarkably...she was alive. He fought to speak, but his voice kept catching in his throat. She was moving again, toward where he had just left her body. Xander was almost too busy thinking about her, that she was alive and breathing and just twenty feet away from him, that he almost forgot that. When the image of her body sprang back into his mind, where he'd thought it had burned itself in, he gasped and managed a word: "Buffy!" She stopped walking, turning back to look in the direction he was calling from, and Xander somehow managed to stumble to her. He froze when he came within several feet of her, staring. She was...beautiful. No other word, no other way to put it. Simply beautiful. No longer was her skin stained red with blood, no longer was she struggling against some sort of ghostly, ghastly lover. The only clue Xander had as to how difficult the task of dissuading her from her chosen course of action was the grim look of determination in her eyes, the way her jaw was set hard, her teeth clenched so tightly. Not thinking, he reached out to touch her cheek-- but she took a step backward, staring. "You," she said. "You're the man I saw in the--" "I'm Xander," he broke in, his voice no more than a whisper. "Bu-- Buffy...it's me." She shook her head, moving to pass him by. He grabbed her arm. "Buffy, believe me, it's me. I don't know how or why, not really, only that--" "Let me go, buddy," she said, her voice carefully measured in that even, 'listen-to-me-or-I'll-make-sure-you-do' tone of voice. He had heard her use it before, so very long ago, but it had no effect on him. "Don't go," he said quietly. "Cordelia--" This froze her in mid-objection, and her voice fell from what he was sure was intended to be an angered command to a shocked whisper. "What about Cordie?" she asked. "She told me." Buffy's expression clouded over. "What are you, one of the other Watchers?!" She jerked away from him, yanking her arm from his hand. "God _damn_ it, I don't _care_ what you people say-- this whole deal sucked megatime since the _beginning_, and you will _not_ stop me from saving him!" Xander drew back slightly at the force of her voice and the emotions contained therein. He... "I never realized..." he whispered. "What," she snapped angrily. "That you people have messed up my entire _life_? That from the moment the word 'Slayer' was mentioned, I haven't done anything but lose people I care about and things I've loved?" Xander's jaw was hanging open slightly as he watched his friend slowly losing more and more of her grip on her emotions, as the tears began to form in the corners of Buffy's eyes and the desperation in her tone became more and more pronounced. He didn't respond to her words. He had no way to, no idea of what to say. "First I got kicked out of Hemery because of your damn _quest_. Then I moved here and lost all my friends _there_, then I had to cloister myself away somewhere where nobody but the people I trusted most in the world could get to me and half the time I couldn't let any of them in anyway and then I lost Angel and now that I'm on the verge of getting him back _you are not going to stop me_!" By the time she had finished, Buffy's voice had risen to a screaming pitch. Xander shook his head, whispered, "I'm not a watcher..." was all he could force out. "I don't care what you are. Who you are. I'm going to save him." "You _can't_!" Xander exclaimed, realizing she was moving toward the west monument again. "You don't understand, you'll die if you fight him." He had no way to convey the urgency in his feelings except through his tone, and it was obvious that wasn't going to cut it for Buffy. Not now, not when she was this close. Xander felt an inward shiver as he realized just how obsessed his friend had become with the idea of getting her Angel back. When he looked in her eyes, he could see a reflection of the same light he saw in his own eyes every morning since he had come back to Sunnydale, since the idea that he could get her back might be something halfway close to real ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Nine (2/2) Date: 13 May 1998 06:15:06 EDT This is the second half of Chapter Nine. See the prologue for notes and disclaimers. All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ He sprinted after her, not wanting to call out, but not knowing how he was going to be able to do anything to stop her. He heard both her voice and Angelus' long before he reached the actual monument. "Buffy, come _on_," came Angelus' voice. "Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that you've broken out of grips like this. I could get up and we could fight, if you want me to prove it to you." "Fine, try it and we'll see." "Nah. It'll be much more fun the way I've got things planned." Xander swallowed hard and pushed himself harder, coming up on the grove just in time to see Angelus coming away from the Slayer's throat. "No," he whispered. "Time for Buffy to have a little snack," Angelus hissed, and Xander watched as he pulled the blade away from his wrist and lowered it to Buffy's lips, holding her nose closed with the other hand. Xander felt his stomach turn, seeing Buffy for the second time reach for the stakes behind the gravestone, missing again. He swallowed. He had to save her. Had to do something, he couldn't just stand her doing nothing until...until...what? Until he lost her again? He couldn't, he couldn't go through that again, he couldn't have her so close and then-- He was moving for her stakes almost before he knew what he was doing himself. Angelus was so intent on his prey that he seemed only peripherally aware of Xander's presence-- and when he did look up, it was to flash a cruel, predatory smile toward him. As if to say, Xander was next. Xander swallowed, reaching out and grabbing one of the stakes, hearing Buffy scream as she lost her breath and began to open her mouth, saw Angelus' grin twist into something even more horrifying as Buffy started to swallow and all there was to breathe in was his blood. Xander lunged down at the two of them, stake in hand. Angelus, hearing the movement, glanced up at the last moment-- and Xander's stake found its target. A sharp poof, the sound of a vacuum being suddenly filled, sucked at Xander's eardrums for a bare second. Then he found himself holding the stake over Buffy and a pile of ash. He stared down at her, his voice having vanished from his throat, without anything to say or do to offer her assurance, and slowly sank to his knees beside her. "Buffy," he whispered, "are you alright?" His eyes swept down her torso, and he sighed in relief when he saw there was no blood. Then his yes traced their way slowly, back to her throat...where a fountain of blood was bubbling over the skin Angelus had cut open. He moved his hands to her neck as though by covering the wounds he could save her, as if by taking them from his sight he could somehow prevent what he already knew was going to happen. As though he could change what had happened so he wouldn't fail this time. "Angel," he heard her whisper softly, as blood bubbled up over her lips. He swallowed, staring at her in something akin to shock. Even at death's door, when she had to know she wasn't going to live out the next few minutes, she still had faith that he would be there. Not him, he told himself. Angel. "Angel," she whispered again, reaching toward him. "Angel, hold me..." Xander flinched away for a half-second, then took a shaky breath and let her hand wrap itself around his own. "Buffy," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Angel, I love you," she choked, her words more blood than breath. Xander stroked her hair, gathering her in his arms and pulling her close. "Shh," he soothed. "So cold," she whispered, pressing against him as best she could, so weak and draining so quickly Xander wondered at the fact that she was still even able to speak. "Shh," he said again, his hand stroking her hair gently, his arms holding her close. "I'll take you to a doctor, everything will be alright," he said softly. "Angel, don't leave me," Buffy breathed as he moved to lift her, blood gurgling eagerly over her lips, her skin becoming more and more pale as the seconds flew by all too quickly. "I won't," Xander said, "I'll never leave you, I'm here..." "I knew you wouldn't leave me," she whispered, "I...love you..." "I know," he said, his lips falling to brush her forehead, still warm. "I'm here." He held her for a long, silent moment before he realized she hadn't answered him. He swallowed, feeling tears welling up in his eyes and not making an effort this time to stop them. She was gone. He had failed again. Letting the dead girl's body slip from his arms, Xander sank to his knees in the grass, crumpling in on himself as tears streamed down his cheeks. Not caring, not even aware of what might be going on around him, not thinking of anything but the body before him and the woman he had failed, Xander did nothing to try to prevent the tears from falling. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ity. For a brief moment, he wondered if it might even be _possible_ to convince her not to go back to fight Angelus again. If he might not be wasting his time. Then he remembered his words to Cordelia earlier, and realized it didn't matter either way, because he had to try no matter what. Even if fate had already decreed that the Slayer would die tonight, he had to do everything in his power to stop her. He had failed once already. He wasn't going to let it happen again. "Buffy, you can't. He'll kill you." "I don't care," she whispered, and Xander caught the reflection of moon and streetlight on the tear that trickled down her cheek before she turned and ran away from him. ~ More to come, comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Black Fire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (1/?) Date: 13 May 1998 13:34:29 PDT Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Feedback: If you wish. Summary: Angelus is having some rough times. Warnings: PG13 I hope. I haven't finished it yet. There may be some violence and hard language as this goes on. Disclaimer: I do not own Angel or any of the other Buffy characters that may show up in this story. Spoilers: At least up through IOHEFY, but may include Becoming as I see what happens with the last episode. Mazes of the Mind - Part 1 Angelus woke up in a cold sweat. He had had the strangest dream: In it, he was watching in the mirror (as odd as it was, he saw his reflection) as his face went from human to vampire to something worse. All the while, he was consumed by a terrible pain that was tearing through his body. As he sat up in bed, he could still feel the pain coursing through his head like some warped river of nails. As he regained control of his senses, he looked around. Something was strange. He was in the loft. Why was he in the loft? He hadn't been there for months. And now he suddenly wakes up there. How did he get here in the first place? That's when he heard it. The cold, evil laugh coming from across the room. He found himself looking into an approaching face. Even without the ability to look in a mirror, he knew that mocking look to be his own. But how? "Problems?" his double asked. "What do you want?" was Angelus' reply. "I'm hurt," the other exlaimed, feining the pain of insult. "You don't recognize me?" "Yeah, I recognize you," Angelus answered, rising from the bed. "You're that weaking I got rid of months ago. What do you want?" "Well, if you don't know the answer to that," Angel said, "then I should spell it out for you... I want my body back." "Not a chance," Angelus laughed. "You don't live here any more." "Really?" was the reply. "Then what am I doing here? Oh... yeah... you don't know the answer to that one. Do yah?" "I'm getting out of here," Angelus said, moving for the door. "Be my guest," Angel returned. "The door's right there." Angelus pushed passed Angel and through the door. But as he left the room, everything changed and Angelus found himself falling into oblivion. -- End part 1 The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Ten -- (1/1) Date: 13 May 1998 16:31:55 EDT Please see the prologue for all disclaimers and notes. This is chapter ten of thirteen. All comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ "Part Ten: Only The Good Die Young" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: Split Infinities. It was still dark. Standing at the gates, holding a stake in his hand-- the same one he had killed Angelus with, though the thought barely registered-- Xander was waiting. He didn't know why he thought he should wait, and he didn't know why he had finally been able to tear himself away from Buffy's body. He didn't know why the hurting mass inside him had suddenly hardened. But he knew what he had to do. He had to find Buffy. "Candle, guide ye the way for the soul's light to find, bridge ye the gap betwixt the darkness and the beyond and the light that shall lead his soul to its vessel..." She was coming. There was a woman entering the cemetery, and she was alive. Xander swallowed the tears that began to threaten to well up again, barely able to make out her features. Her skin was smooth, there was no blood, no gaping hole slashed through her throat. He braced himself, then walked forward, preparing himself for the worst. She stopped when she saw him, staring as though surprised to see someone there. For a brief moment, Xander thought perhaps she recognized him. But then the moment passed and he realized all she recognized was that there was someone here who might interfere with her mission. He nodded at the candle. "What's that for?" "Nothing," she said, somewhat defensively. "You were chanting something," he said quietly, evenly. He wondered at that for a moment. This experience was taking on the air of a dream, and he wondered if she realized that he had already seen her die twice. Except that she couldn't remember, he reminded himself, because if she was able to remember then she wouldn't come here to die again. But as he remembered the look in her eyes as she had told him she didn't care if Angelus killed her, Xander suddenly wondered if knowing her fate would change anything at all. It certainly hadn't stopped her last time. She shook her head, but the look in her eyes said otherwise. He took a breath. "Buffy," he said slowly, unsure of what words to use. At the mention of her name, Buffy's eyes grew suspicious. "How do you know my name?" she asked. He thought a moment, silent. "I--" He shook his head. "I'm here to help you," he lied. "Why?" she asked, sounding confused. "I don't need your help-- " "I'm a watcher," he broke in. Every lie hurt him more than the last, but he couldn't think of any way to do this than to follow his instinct. And instinct was telling him that the last thing he wanted to do at this point was tell Buffy he was one of her best friends, from so many years in the future. "A _what_?!" she hissed, her expression darkening. She didn't give him time to answer. "Get away from me. You're not _stopping_ me." He shook his head and grabbed her arm as she tried to go by. "I won't try to stop you," he said. "Just tell me what you're going to do with the candle." She shook her head. "Get him back," she snapped. "Now, would you let me _go_?" Xander bit his lip. "Get him back, how?" Buffy stared at him for a moment, and Xander realized he wasn't doing a very convincing job at playing his part. No watcher he'd ever met had ever been quite as aggressive about talking about something as he was being now. Of course, he rationalized, the only watcher he had ever really met had been Giles, and Giles wasn't the pushiest guy in the world, anyway. Finally, the Slayer shook her head and jerked her arm away from him. But this time, she didn't try to go past him. "Why does it matter to you?" she asked softly. "Because," he said. "It matters." She swallowed, staring into his eyes, and Xander wondered if somewhere in there she could see that he honestly meant her no harm, that he would do anything in his power to save her. No matter how many times he had to see her die. "There's a curse," she finally whispered. Xander felt something inside him relax as he realized that, for whatever reason, she was going to trust in him for now. She was going to listen, and he might actually have a chance. "What kind of curse?" he asked. She shook her head. "Doesn't matter," she said. "The candle leads his soul back to his body. I have to go _now_ or I'll miss my chance." Xander swallowed, then took a quick breath and gripped the stake he'd used earlier even tighter. His gut twisted as the full realization of what he was planning to do began to sink in. Not waiting for him to speak, Buffy disappeared several seconds later, and Xander stood, meditating on the stake in his hand. She was going to die, he already knew that. Die, or get Angel back. But he had seen what had happened twice already, and knew she would lose her grip on the candle. Now, at least, he knew why she needed it so badly. But she hadn't told him how she was going to use it. Which, he was slowly realizing, was where the stake came in. He couldn't curse her to a lifetime without Angel, he supposed. That would be as bad as, if not worse, than the ten years he had spent missing her and wanting her. But that meant if he saved her, he'd lose her. But she would be happy. And alive. And if he truly loved her, wouldn't that be enough? He hoped so, as he began walking toward the west end monument. Again, as he neared the place, he could hear voices. "I've bound you. That means you can't fight me, Buffy. You don't have a chance." There was a brief pause in Angelus' words, sending a chill down Xander's spine. Then the demon spoke again. "Isn't that lovely?" Xander couldn't quite make out Buffy's reply, and he was too busy trying to decide on his timing to pay much attention to it. Already, he had watched the scene twice. Angelus pinned her down, taunted her, bit her, fed on her, then slit her throat and shoved the knife into her stomach a split second before Buffy drove a stake through his heart. Xander had to time things perfectly, then. If he was too soon, Buffy would live and Angelus would die, and she would never forgive the stranger who had saved her life but killed any chance of happiness she might once have held. If he was too late, she'd die before he could get the information he needed. Finally, he decided that the best time to kill Angelus would be just as he moved to slit Buffy's throat. Xander swallowed, hating himself for thinking like this, but realizing too well that he had to save her. Every time she died, she was like that until he left. If he could save her, then, it only made sense that he could stay with her forever. "In your dreams," came the Slayer's hiss, jerking Xander from his thoughts. He peeked past the bushes in front of him, parting them just enough to ascertain that Angelus was far too absorbed with his prey to notice one more human being walking up behind him. But he still couldn't move, not just yet. So he waited. Angelus leaned down to drain Buffy, and it was all Xander could do to keep from moving. Every muscle in his body tensed, all his impulses telling him to move and save her. Even though, at this point, that would mean she wouldn't die and he wouldn't be able to save both of them the next time around. *Please, God,* he suddenly thought, *let there be a next time around.* Angelus took out a knife, slitting his wrist and moving it toward Buffy's lips. The Slayer finally grasped one of her stakes, and Xander was already moving as Angelus took the knife and swept it quickly across her throat. The blade stopped moving when Xander shoved the stake into Angelus' back, through his heart, and the vampire vanished in a cloud of dust. Xander threw the stake away from both himself and the wounded Slayer. "Buffy," he said quietly, "are you alright?" She wasn't aware of him, he soon realized, and her lips were moving in silent words that could only be one thing. He leaned his head closer to her lips, trying to catch every breath. "Candle, guide ye the way for the soul's light to find, bridge ye the gap betwixt the darkness and the beyond and the light that shall lead his soul to its vessel and..." She trailed off, and Xander shook her slightly. "Buffy," he whispered insistently, "the rest, what's the rest?" "And ex-- expel..." She coughed suddenly, blood spattering past her lips and landing on his shirtfront. "Expel what?" "'pell the 'mon...from...body..." And suddenly she convulsed, and Xander had to hold her down to keep her from hitting her head against one of the tombstones. "Buffy! he shouted, shaking her slightly. "Keep it up, girl, come on, what's the rest?" "Not..." "Not what?" "Angel...m'sorry..." she whispered. "'give me..." With that last breath, Xander again found himself with the Slayer lying dead in his arms. He shook slightly, letting her go and watching her roll back down onto the grass and out of his arms. Then he stood and began looking for the black candle, repeating her words over and over in his mind, hoping in every way he knew possible that he wouldn't forget them before the next time events replayed. The possibility that they might not was a thought banished from his mind, from the realm of possibilities. When he finally found the candle and the lighter, he scooped them up and took them as he turned to walk back to the entrance to the cemetery. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Black Fire" Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (2/?) Date: 13 May 1998 15:07:00 PDT Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Feedback: If you wish. Summary: Angelus is having a series of unending nightmares that would make the ones Buffy has had seem like a picnic. Warnings: PG13 I hope. I haven't finished it yet. There may be some violence and hard language as this goes on. Disclaimer: I do not own Angel or any of the other Buffy characters that may show up in this story. I also make no claims to any of the Literary, Film or Theatrical references I may make in this story. Spoilers: At least up through IOHEFY, but may include Becoming as I see what happens with the last episode. Mazes of the Mind - Part 2 Angelus awoke to the strangest feeling of confusion. He was sitting in a well-furnished, underground room, at an old pipe organ, which he was playing. This was even odder because he didn't know how to play the pipe organ, or even the piano, for that matter. Even so, he sat there playing and the music he produced was so enrapturing that he didn't give these notions much of a second thought. he didn't even think to queston why he saw his human face reflected in the tarnished brass of the pipes, nor the figure of woman stealing up behind him. Angelus simply continued to play, enthralled by the sounds coming out of the organ. Then the moment was gone. A slender hand reached from behind him and tore his face off. As he caught a flash of his vampiric features now revealed, a wave of anger raised him up from his seat and he spun around to face the one who had violated him. He was confronted by the form of a strange woman with dark hair that fell in loose curls over her shoulders. She stared at him in horror. As she did, he noticed, in his anger, that her features were a strange amalgamation of Drusilla's and Buffy's. That realization killed the rage inside him and replaced it with even more confusion. They just stared at each other for what seemed like ages; he with a look of confusion and she with one of terror. The rubber-like mask that had been Angelus' other face fell to the ground unnoticed. He made a move towards her, but she turned and ran away. He chased after her, but she managed to stay ahead of him. They eventually came to the edge of an underground lake. The girl, not slowing down, dove in and started swimming her way across. Angelus followed suit, but as he hit the water, he became paralyzed and sank into darkness... -- End part 2 More to come. (Soon, I hope) The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Eleven -- (1/1) Date: 13 May 1998 21:09:15 EDT This is chapter eleven of thirteen. See prologue for disclaimers and notes. Please e-mail KylenRevik@aol.com if you've lost any pieces and they need replacing. ~ "Part Eleven: Streamlining" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: Split Infinities. The night was cold, but Xander didn't feel the temperature as he stood and waited for Buffy to come walking up the hill and into the cemetery. Every moment that passed without her appearance was another moment in which he asked himself if he should go back and look for her by the west monument, and another moment in which he had to remind himself that she was dead back there, and would be alive here, if only he could have patience. After what felt like an eternity, he saw her coming. He turned the lighter over in his right hand, his palms sweating so badly he could barely keep his grip on the metal casing. The wax candle in his left hand was slipping so badly that he finally gave up and put it in a pocket, then wiped his hands off on his jacket. When he saw her coming, some small part of himself wanted to move forward, intercept her. Stop her and make her _wait_. Try again. Maybe he could save her. The rest of him pushed that small voice back where it belonged, which was buried beneath all the other small, petty protests that had been trying to voice themselves since the beginning of the night. This time, he made no effort to step into Buffy's way as she passed him. Not noticing him, the young Slayer made her way up the walk, away from him. He shook his head. *Buffy,* he thought silently, almost passionlessly, *forgive me.* If this didn't work. If she died again. If anything he could have prevented, happened. Like a stone, he stayed where he was, rooted to the spot while she walked by. Like a stone, he didn't let himself care or think, this time. He simply watched, as she made her way to western end of the cemetery, and the monument by which she would meet Angelus. Instead of waiting once she was out of sight, instead of getting caught up in his thoughts and wondering if there were a possibility that he might fail again, Xander took off in a sprint after her-- staying back just far enough so she wouldn't hear him. He arrived at the monument a few moments after she did. He watched her arranging her things. The stakes were placed carefully behind the same tombstone she'd put them behind the last time, and the time before. Something rustled in the bushes behind him. He shivered and nearly gasped as Angelus leapt from the shadows, striking Buffy to the ground. "_Buffy_," the demon snarled. Xander heard Buffy give off a small gasp as she lost her hold on the lighter and the candle, and he reached back into his pocket to reassure himself that his own were still there. Then he swallowed, entranced, watching the scene before him play out again. Yet again. He would have nightmares of this forever. If this wasn't forever enough, if he wasn't already living in the nightmare that was life. He watched as Angelus pinned Buffy down, straddling her waist and holding her wrists to the ground. Xander felt something akin to fury boiling up inside him, and he had to remind himself that this time, he wasn't going to kill Angelus. He was going to rescue Angel. For Buffy. So he'd save her, then-- Except he couldn't. He wasn't close enough to them, and he couldn't risk getting any closer until there was no chance that Angelus would be alerted to his presence. If Angelus wasn't completely absorbed in the Slayer, if there was any possibility that something nearby might attract his attention, then he might leave Buffy for later and Xander would wind up dead-- unable to do anything at all. "See this?" Angelus asked, his tone a patronizing, self- satisfied one. "Know what it means?" Xander knew. He winced inwardly as the vampire taunted his prey, as Buffy continued to try to struggle and break free of the grip that held her. As she failed. He wouldn't fail, Xander reassured himself. *Not this time, not this time, not this time.* He knew, he supposed in an only half-conscious way, that if he failed this time there would probably be another chance. And another. And another. Until he saved her. He wasn't sure of how he knew that, but he did, and he knew it with all his mind, body, and soul. Waiting, still waiting. "I've bound you." *"We're all bound by something. It's only a matter of what it is that binds us, what keeps us where we are. I can't let this place bind me anymore, Cordelia. I love you, and I thought that was enough. But love can't overcome memories. And there are too many painful ones, here."* He swallowed as the perfectly-remembered lines from the letter he'd left for Cordelia flashed across his mind. *"I hope you don't wind up hating me for this. Though I'll understand if you do."* His hand closed around the lighter, drawing it from his pocket. Angelus was focusing on Buffy now, an maybe action would banish the memories. Make him forget what a coward he'd been when he had let everything he'd ever cared about drift away. He should have faced the memories back then, when they weren't so strong. Now they were too strong, too much. "See, Buffy?" he heard Angelus hiss, somewhere outside the world his mind was fast erecting around him. *"You're losing your mind, Alex. I won't stand by and watch."* Anna-Marie. The night before she'd gone. Xander pulled the candle from his pocket, and his thumb moved over the switch on the lighter that would spark the flame. "Candle," he began, whispering so softly he could barely hear his own voice, "guide ye the way for the soul's light to find." *Candle,* he thought, as memories began to assail him faster than he'd have cared to go through them. *Guide me to some sort of solace.* "Bridge ye the gap betwixt the darkness and the beyond." *Bridge the gap from my past to my future.* He felt something wet hit his cheek, and ignored the tear as it continued its journey. He was broken, too broken. He had no business doing this, trying to fix things in an elsewhere he'd removed himself from. *Be strong, coward,* he thought, his mental voice harsh and cold. *Save her.* He moved the flame to ignite the candle, then sheltered the wick with a cupped hand to keep the sudden gust of wind from blowing it out. "And the light that shall lead his soul to its vessel," he finished. *Lead me to some sort of sanity,* echoed the prayer in his own mind. *Lead me to something I can live with. Lead me to some sort of peace.* In front of him, Angelus had frozen with his lips against Buffy's neck, and Xander could see no sign that the vampire was moving at all. Buffy lay motionless, pinned beneath Angelus' body, and Xander could barely breathe to finish the curse: "And expel," he finally continued, "the demon from the body." *Expel this inability to deal with my own demons.* As the wind began to pick up, Xander kept his hands around the flame of the candle, pushing it into the ground across from where Angelus was still on top of Buffy but no longer a threat. A moment passed before Buffy shoved the vampire off her, and when she did Angelus doubled over, howling in pain. Xander took a few steps away, watching as wind blew Buffy's hair in her face and she moved toward the vampire she had been trying to save for so long. Angelus was writhing on the ground, his arms wrapped tight around his midsection, and the wind was picking up. By the time the howls had become so similar Xander could no longer tell them apart, a fine mist was descending over the cemetery, and Buffy had moved to where Angelus lay. Xander could barely hear her whispering more words over him, words she hadn't told him earlier but which it was quickly becoming clear were the end of the curse. The wind kept picking up, louder and harder, crashing in around him until Xander could barely keep on his feet. He glanced toward the candle, and realized that the flame wasn't even flickering. He took a sharp breath, his gaze turning back to the Slayer and her vampire, as she pinned him down and held him there while he howled along with the wind in pain. Xander took a step toward them. *Candle, bring me hope.* Then the world descended into blackness. ~ Please send all comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Lady Cietdubh" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Death of a Lifetime Prolouge of ? Date: 13 May 1998 18:10:50 PDT TITLE: Death of a Lifetime AUTHOR: Lily MacLaughlin (that's me psuedonym don'tcha know ;> ) RATING: PG for this part...might change for others parts SPOILERS: covers material presented up through Becoming SUMMARY: I wrote this story based on my Dru/Gypsy girl theory that I posted to the Buffy List today. It details my version of how the Spike-Drusilla-Angel triangle came to be and how the gypsy girl figured into it all. COMMENTS/FLAMES: Send it all to me at lilymac@wolf-web.com I'd especially like to hear if/how it feels like Angel talking DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first at above address DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel, Spike, Dru, etc. and the buffyverse all belong to Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy, Sanddollar, and whoever else. I lay no claims to them and it will do no good to sue for all I'm worth because it ain't much these days...starving artist and all :> *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Death of a Lifetime by Lily MacLaughlin PROLOGUE "Show me your world." With those four simple words my life was changed in the space of a heartbeat. It was every young man's dream. A beautiful woman crushing my face to her breast. Little did I know then, what I know now.... Over two hundred years have passed since that night and still I live, if feeding off the blood of others and hiding my face from the light of day can be called living. She showed me her world, just as I'd asked. And my own became a world of nightmares; some my own, some those I visited upon others. With each passing decade I became more and more a monster in a waking dream. Then *she* cam along. Sweet, innocent, the epitomy of all that I was not...and I hated her for it. Yet, at the same time, I loved her. It was a strange love that manifested itself in a cacophany of blood and terror. She had the Sight, but she never saw me coming. Poor Drusilla; a shell of her former self, a shell inhabited by a demon who knows no shame or sorrow...a demon I opened the door for. Of all the crimes this body has committed, it is perhaps this one that plagues me most. For it was this one act that spurred almost a century and a half's worth of death and torture and terror. Perhaps i should go back to the beggining for you. Perhaps it will help you to understand how it was my folly that ended it all. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Have at fellows~! Lady Cietdubh *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* GASP!, MCTP, Keeper of: Willow's Brill[iant] idea to rid Ms. Calendar of the Demon (TDA) -and- Joyce's broken dish (S) ========================================================================= Visit me in my Study! http://members.wbs.net/homepages/l/a/d/ladycietdubh.html *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 20) Date: 13 May 1998 20:14:14 -0700 Wah! Finals! *pout* So don't really get to used to seeing a posting of the story each day. I'm trying to keep up, but dangit! the school board just doesn't understand that I'd rather be writing Fiction than doing tests... *sigh* I'll try to keep these constant, and they parts have been shorter for the only reason that I don't have the time to make them longer. Sorry again, and bare with me! Charlotte Sometimes (part 20) Angelus watched patiently as the family got out of the carriage, one bye one, making their way up to the church. He watched as Lydia held Drusilla's hand, looking up to her older sister with such admiration, her pale hair piled up high on her head, and a select few strands hung down, curled tight. The small girl was such a precious gem. Very fragile he assumed, and knew how attacked his Drusilla was to the emerald. He would have his fun with her. But not tonight. Tonight he let them morn. Drusilla's mother led the way, a very headstrong woman. She walked through the large doors of the mausoleum. Angelus chuckled now, as he had pouted most of the day, trying to imagine the sight Dru had seen. Trying to picture her first words that came out, her first tears that fell. She was so beautiful dressed all in black. The color was so perfect for her. And he hoped she'd get used to it. ~ Never had she felt such over whelming sorrow. The sight, that horrid image that still plagued her mind wouldn't let her rest. Refused to let her eat, to drink, and go on. No-one close to Drusilla had ever died. She'd never witnessed a murder or seen a portrait as hideous as her fathers death. And it'd been two days. Two day's since his violent death, and that's why they must go to church. To make their peace and pray, that where ever he was, he was safe again. To bury him and to begin the grieving process of going on, moving on. The family had ever more been there for her, it was small comfort considering her loss. She'd never really known her father, they'd never bonded or shared, but he had a way of cheering her up, no matter what the problem was. His death was taken on such surprise! But she knew, no matter what the future would hold she'd never get over his untimely death. They moved into the large cathedral to begin the hours of long prayers, and remorse. And sick as it was, she didn't want to go, she couldn't see his closed casket one last time... She was afraid. P.S If my story is moving to fast I apologize. It's gonna get faster ;) I want to say right here that as far as Charlotte Sometimes goes Becoming never happened. Sorry, but I don't trust the flashbacks... they're gonna ruin my story! *pout* thank you joss. I should know better by now not to write stories that are close to plot lines we all know Joss will follow! *g* -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cloaked In Darkness: Chapter 4/? Date: 13 May 1998 19:13:01 PDT I'm resending this because I'm not sure if it got through the first time... Love, Aurelia ********************************************************************** TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and The Master gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! Although it starts off a bit rocky, but I assure you they will end up together in this one! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till 'Prophesy Girl' here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, say just after the 'Angel' episode and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ Chapter 4: Of A Jealous Nature "Come back here you...!" Buffy shouted, trying to keep up and someone was suddenly running beside her, she knew it was Angel without looking and was unreasonably annoyed. "I don’t need your help Angel" she panted, glaring at his form as he gracefully ran beside her, reminding her sharply of a panther on the hunt. "Sure you don’t, but there are two of them. Don’t be stupid Buffy and let me help" Angel growled as he assumed his vampire face, Buffy had opened her mouth to retort but then thought better of it as they caught up to the vampires. They had stopped near a tree and Buffy flung a stake at the closest reflexively, it almost got him but the vampire ducked and she swore softly as she and Angel went into battle. Buffy could hear Angel fighting next to her as she repeatedly punched the young vampire, he couldn’t have been more than a week old. Buffy didn’t feel at all sorry for him though and knocked him backwards, straight onto the stake that was planted into the tree. The vampire exploded into dust and Buffy turned to see how Angel was faring, her eyes widened when she saw that he was fighting THREE vampires and they had gotten pretty far away from her as he had fought them. "Where’d they come from, Arrgggggh!" she screamed as someone tackled her from behind and she hit the ground hard. "Buffy!" Angel called, even as busy as he was, he was still worried about her and Buffy’s heart melted. The vampire hit her while she was thinking and her face thumped hard into the dirt. He rubbed it in and she thrashed around, trying to get dirt and grass out of her mouth, she kicked backwards and connected. The vampire grunted with pain and fell off of her, Buffy rolled to her feet and pulled out another stake, thrusting it angrily into his chest and watching with satisfaction as he was dusted. She brushed the dirt out of her face and spat the grass out, turning to help Angel. He had finished all but one and didn’t see yet another sneaking up behind him, Buffy screamed as the vampire reached Angel’s unprotected back and Buffy was too far away to help. "Angel!" she called despairingly, he tossed the vampire before him towards Buffy but it clung to one of his arms, pulling Angel to his knee’s. The other vampire had the stake that Buffy had used on the first vampire in his hands, raised over Angel’s back and ready to thrust home. Buffy ran fast than she ever had and tried but she knew she wouldn’t reach him in time. As she went to leap at the vampire the bright moonlight went out and Buffy heard thunder crash loudly in the suddenly stormy sky. It was enough to stop all three vampires and Buffy and she gaped as a vicious wind howled through the park and beat at them, Buffy saw everything clearly as if through a dream. The first vampire was laying at Angel’s feet, digging sharp claws into his arm so that Angel couldn’t rise from his half crouch. The second was leaning over Angel’s unprotected back with the stake raised but the sudden unpredictable weather had momentarily shocked them all. A huge thunderclap shook the earth and Buffy stumbled, looking up in time to see twin bolts of lightning shoot down from the sky and land squarely on both vampires. Angel was still attached by the vampires grip and Buffy screamed in horror as the vampire’s smoked, consumed by the lightning that raced through every part of their bodies. Her vision was obscured for a moment until their hideous wailing’s of agony had finally stopped and they turned to dust. Angel was lying on the ground and Buffy reached his side in record time, pulling him up and babbling hysterically. "Angel? Angel speak to me, are you hurt? Oh god!" Buffy shrieked over the wind, Angel moaned and put a hand to his head, standing with Buffy’s help and they both looked up when the wind died away abruptly. The Thunder faded as did the clouds and they were staring at an again calm night, the moon shining brightly down upon their stunned faces. "That was not a normal storm" Angel grunted and Buffy ran her hands over him, looking anxiously for wounds. She finally gave up and stared at his intent eyes, watching her as she worried over him and a slight smile was on his face. "No, it wasn’t. You should talk to Giles. See you around Buffy" Angel said almost absently, his eyes distant. He walked swiftly away and Buffy just stared after him, finally following at a distance to see where he went. Angel had been distant all of a sudden and she wanted to know why the sudden change, he had seemed so jealous that she had hoped... Who the hell was that? She glared viciously as she peered around a tree and saw Angel approaching a girl who was sitting on a bench. Her back was to them both but she turned as she seemed to hear Angel, Buffy was mildly surprised at that seeing as she had very good hearing and Angel ALWAYS seemed to sneak up on HER. She couldn’t hear what was being said but Buffy’s heart faltered as she saw the girl’s face, it was the girl she had snubbed at the ‘Bronze’. The one that Dwayne had been smitten with and Buffy admitted reluctantly that the girl was beautiful. Her eyes as they had met Buffy’s had been a deep emerald and her long hair was incredible, her clothes were great too and Buffy could tell the girl was rich. But what was Angel doing with her? *************************************** "Gabriella, I’m sorry. That was a friend and those guys..." she interrupted him with a faint smile and he laughed ruefully at her words. "Vampires" she suggested with a straight face and he almost laughed till she asked the next question. "Why was your friend chasing the vampires, don’t people usually run away?" she said coolly and Angel was taken aback, now realizing she was right and not sure what to say. "Umm, they took her purse and she, Uh" Angel stumbled to a halt, unable to go on with the lame story he had been telling this girl. Gabriella nodded however and Angel was surprised when she accepted the lie easily, they got to their feet and began walking again. She said nothing more though and they walked in silence, though for Angel it was uncomfortable as he thought of how to explain the night’s events to her. "Angel is there a hotel around here? I really have to get a room before sun up" she asked and Angel looked around thinking, then remembered there was one close by the ‘Bronze’. "Uh, yeah, it’s back a few streets from the nightclub" he told her faintly embarrassed that they had walked all that way and he had not thought about finding her a hotel, even when she had said she didn’t have one. He dropped her off at the hotel and walked home in a pensive mood, he really liked Gabriella but the fight tonight had told him that Buffy really DID care more than she was letting on. Angel reached home an hour before sunrise and sat on his bed, pulling off his shirt before going to the fridge for a blood pack. Someone thumped insistently on his door and he opened it, the blood pack still in his hands. Buffy stood there and he was surprised when she pushed past him and into the room angrily. "Okay, I told Giles about tonight and he wants to see you at the Library when the sun goes down. There really were too many vampires to be a normal staking" Buffy told him in a muffled voice, still not facing him, Angel left the door open and walked over to her. "Tell him I’ll be there. Buffy..." she spun around and he could see she was very angry, yet tears were in her eyes. "Did you do it to make me jealous, is that it? Well it didn’t work Angel, not at all, I have Dwayne now!" she yelled furiously and Angel was taken aback and then furious also. "In case you didn’t notice, I had already left the ‘Bronze’ when you went chasing the vampires. I didn’t follow you and I had no idea that you would come along, so how could I have used Gabriella to make you jealous!" Angel shouted and Buffy went pale, he regretted his words almost immediately but she had slipped past him to the door and her face was cold as she faced him again. "Fine, just stay away from me Angel...just stay away" she almost whispered and then turned and ran, Angel followed involuntarily, but closed the door and leaned against it when he felt the sun was near. She had run into the sunlight, where he could not go and he smashed a priceless vase in rage. "Damn her!" he roared going vamp. He bit viciously into the blood bag he still held, reveling in the taste of the blood. ****************************************** ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: lilyp215@juno.com (Lynda T Phan) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Please Grant A Desperate Request.................. Date: 13 May 1998 18:15:46 -0700 Can someone please send me buffyfic-digest #180-182? Or all the stories that were sent on Monday and Tuesday? I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Clare H." Subject: BUFFYFIC: sorry for the off list posting (skip this if you'll mind) Date: 13 May 1998 22:51:53 EDT do any of you know of a Dawson's Creek fanfic list? sorry again. *c~l~a~r~e* teddybartcbh@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: "Future Imperfect" -- Apologies for not posting this morning... Date: 14 May 1998 08:14:15 EDT The power went out yesterday, my alarm didn't go off this morning, I had no time to do anything but get dressed and get my mom to drive me. So I'll send out chapters twelve and thirteen this afternoon when I get home from school (which is where I am now, unfortunately I don't have access to my files at home), and I'm truly sorry for the delay-- I hope nobody's too upset. I should get home around 2:30 or so, possibly slightly later if I can't bum a ride from a friend somewhere along the way, and if that happens then I'll walk home so I have time to mail it before I go to watch "The Becoming" again at my friend's house. Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter Twelve -- (1/1) Date: 14 May 1998 14:26:00 EDT This is chapter 12 of 13. All comments, questions, requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com. See prologue for disclaimers. ~ "Part Twelve: Full Circle" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: November 24th, 2002. Buffy's eyes were rooted to the face looking back up at her. Angelus' face. Angel's. The fact of someone she loved and cared for more than anything else in the world, but also the face of the one who had caused her the most pain of anyone she had ever come into contact with. She could feel the wind around them, slowing down. No longer howling the same as her lover's voice, and no longer trying to rip them apart. She wasn't sure if she should be glad for that, or not. Angelus' face was contorted into an agonized grimace, the most pain she had seen in his expression in her entire memory. He was twisted around himself, paying only a moderate amount of attention to her. The words of the chant, finally ending, died on her lips. She was almost too frightened of what could have happened to let herself speak. Somehow, though, she overcame the fear and let a single word slip past her lips. "Angel?" she whispered. He stared back up at her, his expression one of shock and surprise. But no malice. No cruelty. She searched his eyes for some sign that maybe he was faking, that if she let her guard down for even a second, she was going to wind up getting her heart torn out because he would take advantage of her the moment she was no longer watching out for an attack. But there was nothing but shame and pain in his expression. Two emotions she had never seen, nor expected, from Angelus. "Buffy...?" he asked, his lips barely moving and the sound only just loud enough for her to hear. "I...?" Her heart nearly broke at the words, because as soon as she heard them, any trace of sincere doubt evaporated. His voice was rife with distress, without the teasing, taunting tone Angelus had taken to using with her. Without any sign that he considered her to be less than a person, less than someone he loved. "Are you...?" she whispered. She reached up, her fingers tracing the ridges of his face, where his features were slowly reverting and the game face he had worn when he'd attacked her fading quickly. "Am I?" he asked. She shook her head slowly, standing and taking a few steps back from him. Wanting to offer him her hand and help him up, but at the same time, somehow knowing she couldn't touch him without trying to reassure herself she wasn't losing her mind, and knowing she couldn't do that. Not yet. Later, she would reassure herself in every way she knew of that everything was back to how it should be. For now, though, she only wanted to live in the moment. Later, this could turn out to be a delusion. For now, she needed for it to be reality. "I didn't light the candle," she whispered. "I didn't light the candle, so you can't be..." Equally slowly, he pushed himself up off the ground, his eyes never leaving her face. "What candle?" he asked. Her heart nearly broke at his voice, the one she hadn't heard since that night four years ago when he had asked her if she was sure that they were doing what she wanted, what was best for her. She was about to answer, though she didn't know how, when her eyes caught the glint of light behind him. The candle. It had been pushed into the ground by the grave opposite them, and it was still burning. She had said the chant, or at least been thinking it, the entire time she had been with Angel. Every second since she had entered the cemetery. Seemed like a lifetime ago, a different person. She had been, when the night had begun. A lost little girl who needed to prove she could find the love that had left her so long ago. But the candle had been knocked from her hands the first time he had attacked. She hadn't touched it since, despite how badly she had needed it. Had she misread something in her reading, then? Was the candle capable of lighting itself at the moment when it was needed, if the need were strong enough? She glanced back at Angel, who was staring at her with the most amazed, soulful look she had received from him in over four years, and realized...she didn't care. It didn't matter who or what was responsible for the flame burning across the way. What mattered was that it was still burning. She had said the words. "Angel," she said softly, her voice suddenly shaking, and he moved toward her, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her close in his embrace. "Buffy," he whispered into her hair. "Oh my God, Buffy..." Wordlessly, Buffy melted against him, her body wracked with sobs, using him as the support she had been without for so long. Saying nothing, Angel just held her close. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jennifer oooooo" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions Date: 14 May 1998 14:35:56 PDT TITLE: Best Intentions AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary? RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1? THANKYOUS: Thanks Leslie S.! FEEDBACK: Please! Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al. The idea is mine, though! Best Intentions Part 1 Well past midnight, on a school night no less, Buffy was in the cemetery fighting. The fight was intense and the face of the man she was fighting was hidden. The confrontation lasted for several moments before she threw him against a headstone, where he collapsed to the ground. "OK, had enough, yet?" Buffy asked still in her fighting stance. As she caught her breath, she waited for his next move, reaching for a stake hidden in her belt. "Nope. I'm just getting warmed up myself," Angelus replied, breathing hard as he lifted himself off of the ground "Come on Lov-er. You know you want to," he drawled. "Only in your dreams," she answered, and the fighting resumed. 'Why can't I just end this?' she questioned herself. She got in one good kick to his groin and that dropped him to the ground; his extreme pain was evident. She smiled and shook her head. "Oh Angelus, will you never learn to wear a cup?" She turned and walked away. Walking home, she pondered why she was unable to kill her number one enemy. Well, number one since his change, anyway. She knew that she loved the man (man?) he used to be, but was unable to convince herself that the Angel she knew was no longer within Angelus' body. 'Why can't I kill him?' She asked herself. 'Cause I still love him!' Buffy sighed, 'like a fool.' Buffy continued walking home, and decided it was time to get the man out of her thoughts. 'He's not here anymore. He's not here anymore. The man I love is gone. His replacement needs to be killed.' Buffy repeated this mantra to herself for the rest of the walk home. 'Aw, Hell.' She sighed, afraid the repetitiveness did not do any good. When she reached her house, she climbed up the side of her house and then into her bedroom window. She was making every effort to keep quiet, but, inadvertently knocked a book onto the floor, where it made a loud thump. "Oh shoot," she said as she swiped at a stray strand of blond hair that had fallen into her eyes. The light snapped on. Buffy's mom was sitting in her room, swaying in a rocking chair. "Mom! Oof…" Buffy fell through the window, clearly surprised her mother was there. "Hi! What are you doing up?" She tried for an 'all eyes' innocent look and knew she was not succeeding. "I was just wondering what time you'd come home. Let's see," her tired eyes looked pointedly at the clock on Buffy's nightstand. "Hmmmm…. It's nearly 2 am on a Wednesday night, and you're just coming home? Gee. I didn't even realize you had gone out." Sarcasm dripped from every word. "Well, Willow called, and…" "And nothing, young lady! There is absolutely no excuse for you to be sneaking out in the middle of the night! I don't understand what is going on with you. Would you care to explain before I am forced to do something drastic? And, no dancing around this, Buffy. I want the truth, and I want it now." Buffy looked at her mother and sat down on the bed. She was thinking of the best way to explain to her mom why she was forced out of her bedroom at night. 'How would she take, staking vampires? Uh, not well.' She nervously began smoothing her hair, tucking it behind her ears. "Well, uh, mom, it's kind of a long story, and I don't think you're going to believe me, so, um, why don't we go to bed, think about this calmly, and then talk first thing in the morning?" Buffy asked her hopefully. Her head was pounding and her right eye was beginning to throb where Angelus got that last punch in. "Nice try, young lady. But, I don't think so. I've had enough of your evasiveness. I'm tired of the lies and the late nights. I don't know what you think you're doing, but, it's going to stop. Right now." Joyce pulled out Buffy's diary from underneath the blanket covering her lap. Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "Uh, mom, please tell me you didn't just invade my privacy by searching my room and looking for my diary. My personal property. My personal thoughts and feelings, and PRIVATE PROPERTY?!?" Buffy's voice was rising with every word. "Buffy, lower your voice. You will not speak to me in that tone. I am still your mother, young lady. I wouldn't have had to look for it, if I thought you'd actually tell me the truth. But, you don't know what the truth is, do you?" Joyce's voice lost any trace of anger-and dropped to almost a whisper. "Honey, tell me, what are you going through that you have to make up such wild stories?" Buffy made a grab for her diary, but Joyce pulled back, just in time. "Mom, give that back!" "I realize you're angry. I think you might even be hurt. But - trust me - Buffy, I am only trying to help you." "Mom, you don't - can't possibly understand what I'm going through. If you broke the trust that you and I have by reading my personal and innermost thoughts, then, I'm way beyond hurt." Buffy's eyes welled up, one tear falling down her cheek. She swiped at it angrily. "I can't believe you would do that!" "Buffy, you never tell me what is going on, honey. I'm worried about you, and I thought I could help by…" "By what!?! Going through my things? Reading my diary?" "Buffy calm down." Fear crossed Joyce's eyes. Buffy took a deep breath and turned away from her mother. She crossed her arms over her chest and walked over to and looked out the window, thinking of any way to keep control of her rising temper. Silently, she began counting to ten. "1,2,3,4,…" "Buffy look at me." Buffy turned towards her mother. "I want you to try to explain what it is that you think you are and why you have these." Joyce pulled open the box of Buffy's weapons, which included a variety of small containers, stakes, other odds and ends and the new crossbow Giles had given her to take home. "What kind of trouble are you in, exactly?" She looked at the box, at the diary still in her mother's hand, fury flashing across her eyes. "Mom, you have really crossed the line. I told you you wouldn't understand, and here you are, accusing me of…" "Buffy, I'm not accusing you of anything. Honey, I just want to know what is going on with you? What have you gotten yourself into? It can't be the kids you hang out with. I mean Xander and Willow are probably the most wholesome I have ever met. So, what is going on with you? Why do you have all of this here? Let me help you work through this." "You think this is that easy? You think you can make it all go away by forcing me to tell you what is going on with me? My life is not that simple. You'd never understand!" "I understand better than you think what it is like to be a 17 year old girl. Honey, please let me help you." Buffy took a deep breath. She resigned herself to spilling her secret. But not tonight. Not without Giles to help explain all of this and keep her mother from going ballistic. With a calm that Buffy was surprised she possessed, she answered her mother. "OK, mom. You want to help me. That is great. I appreciate it, really. But, seeing as how you've gone through all of my things and you've read my diary, you now know everything. I realize you don't believe me. I understand that this is a *really* hard concept to grasp. But, you're not going to understand anything until tomorrow. So, we might as well go to bed and get some rest. You're gonna have a lot to take in tomorrow, and you're gonna need some sleep." "No Buffy, I want you to tell me now." "No. Mom, you're gonna wait until tomorrow. Then, we'll go to the school and I will tell you everything. With the help of Mr. Giles." "That's what I thought you'd say. OK, Buffy. We'll do it your way." Joyce got up and left the room, taking the diary with her. "Terrific." Buffy lay down on the bed and felt frustration course through her veins at her situation. Her hands balled into fists of rage. ~~ End part 1 ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter 13 -- (1/1) Date: 14 May 1998 17:45:22 EDT Well, here it is, the final part. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing it, and I'm dying to hear everyone's opinion-- be it good or bad-- of the complete story. All standard disclaimers apply, and they can be found in the prologue section of this story. This is the final chapter of the story. All comments, questions, or requests for missing pieces to me, here at KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ "Part Thirteen: Never No More" Place: Rosenberg Residence. Time: May 23rd, 2012, Morning. "Xander, Cordelia's on the phone." Xander awoke with a jerk, looking around the room. Remembering the last night. "What?" Willow was standing in the doorway, looking at him, shaking her head. "She sounds like she's sorry," she offered pathetically, "and she says she wants to talk to you." Confused, wanting to know what had happened between when he had blacked out in the cemetery and when he had awoken here, Xander stood and moved toward the door. "Will," he asked, "how'd I get here last night?" Already on her way to the kitchen, Willow turned and gave him an odd look, then sighed. "Xander, you and Cordelia had a fight last night, remember? So you came to spend the night." Xander's confusion grew even more acute as he let Willow place the phone receiver in his hand and watched her move out toward the living room. He heard two voices, but he couldn't distinguish one from the other, nor could he tell what was being said. "Xander," Cordelia's voice said, over the line. He was immediately drawn back to paying attention to the phone call. "I'm sorry," Cordelia continued, "but last night it just...got slightly out of control." "Out of control...?" Xander echoed. Yeah, things had gotten out of control, way out of control, he had either seen Buffy die multiple times or else he was losing his mind or maybe he'd just had a horrible nightmare, and none of this was going to go over well when he had to convince Anna-Marie that he wasn't a raving psychopath. "Yes," Cordelia answered. "I'm sorry about the stain in the rug, and you know I didn't mean it when I said you were sleeping with Willow." "When what?" Xander asked, his tone turning slightly incredulous. "Cordie, what the heck're you talking about?" There was momentary silence. "You know," Cordelia finally said, her voice sounding suddenly strained, "I call and try to apologize and all you do is act like a jerk." "Cor--" "Xander, do you know how hard it was for me to call up and-- I mean, look where you are, who you're staying with! For all I know, you two _are_ screwing--" "_Cordelia_!" Xander interrupted. Then he sighed. "Please, Cordie...I know this is probably way too much to ask...but could you possibly take a shot at _making sense_?" For a moment, the other end of the line was silent. Then Xander heard a click as Cordelia hung up on him. He sighed. Wonderful. So now he had a bunch of missing hours and Cordelia had just hung up on him, and nothing in the world was making sense. Willow reappeared in the doorway, and sighed slightly. "She hang up on you again?" *Again?* "Yeah," he replied. "Don't worry about it," came a voice from behind Willow. "You know how she is, she'll be over it in a day and you two'll be all over each other again." It took all of half a second for Xander to place the voice. After all, he had only heard it a few hours ago. "Buffy?!" he exclaimed, as the Slayer stepped into view behind Willow. "Yeah," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You okay, or did Cordie finally push you over the edge?" Xander shook his head. "No..." he said softly. "No...I'm fine...what..." He glanced to Willow. "What's she..._doing_ here...?" he asked, his voice barely breaking a whisper. Buffy shot an odd look at Willow. "Will, he okay?" Willow nodded slightly. "Yeah, I think he is," she said. "Xander?" "I'm...I'm fine..." he managed to get out, somehow. "Buffy...what...?" "I'm having coffee," Buffy said, indicating a coffee mug and walking past Willow and into the kitchen to the sink. Xander couldn't believe it. He couldn't peel his eyes off her. Yes, she was ten years older than the woman he had saved only hours before, and the age showed, but only barely. She was still in prime shape, her muscles toned, and she was obviously taking care of herself, but...how had this _happened_? The whole time he'd been in the cemetery, all the while he had been working to save her...he'd never considered what might have happened if it all actually worked. Nor, he realized, had he stopped to think about what would happen if it didn't. He had locked himself into a sort of limbo, without considering any kind of future at all. Buffy glanced back over her shoulder, exchanging looks with Willow before turning back to Xander. "You know," she said, "if that's how you look at every woman you walk by, I can see where Cordie might get a little upset." Xander's eyes widened slightly, and he shut his mouth, then forced his eyes up to meet Buffy's. "You're alive," he said, not realizing till the words were out of his mouth just how completely idiotic they sounded. "Yes, I am," Buffy said. Then she smiled slightly. "And you'd better not let Angel catch you looking at me like that." She shook her head. "Remember the tenth high school reunion?" No, he didn't, but how was he supposed to say that? He turned a blank look on Willow, who glanced back to Buffy. "Maybe he needs more sleep," she offered. "Maybe he needs a good whack on the head," Buffy offered. "Either way, I have to get going." She took a quick sip of her coffee, finishing it off and leaving the cup itself in the sink, then moved toward the doorway. "Angel and I are going out tonight. Anniversary and all." Willow grinned, and Xander stared. Buffy left. The door closed, and somewhere distant, Xander heard a car engine starting and pulling out of the driveway. Then he looked at Willow, who offered him his own cup of coffee, which he accepted. "What's up with you?" she asked. "Even for a morning-after-a- big-fight, you're acting out of it." He took a sip of his coffee. "A night after...this is something that happens often?" Willow nodded, smiling slightly as though she found his befuddlement amusing. "All the time." She sighed. "So," she said, "what do you want to do today?" Xander shrugged and shook his head. So many things. Talk to Buffy. Talk to Cordelia. Call Anna-Marie... Anna-Marie. He paled slightly as the full weight of what must have happened slammed into him like a mack truck doing eighty miles an hour. Nina. Elliot. The kids. *Oh my God...what have I done.* If he wasn't married to Anna-Marie, if he'd stayed in Sunnydale the way it seemed he had, then where were his _kids_? He swallowed, suddenly flooded by waves of memories of the two of them. Their bright smiles, the way they laughed, how he had grounded Elliot from the television just last week, because he'd heard him swearing...they had to be there. He had Buffy back, but that shouldn't mean he had to give up his kids. He moved to the phone, picking it up and dialing quickly. "Long distance, I'll pay you back," he said when Willow opened her mouth to ask what he was doing. She simply nodded. Xander waited. Finally, after the third ring, a woman's voice picked up. "Hello?" "Hey," he said, his voice catching slightly. "Excuse me," the woman said after a moment, "do I know you?" Xander's eyes widened. "I-- it's Xander, I mean, Alex-- is this Anna-Marie?" There was a seemingly endless period of silence, and finally the woman said, "I think you have the wrong number. I don't know anyone named Alex. Or Xander." Then she hung up. Xander turned to Willow, who was watching him carefully. "Who's Anna-Marie?" she asked. "My..." But what to call her? His wife before he made it so Buffy didn't die and everything went strange? The mother of his now non-existant children? "Nobody," he finally said, his voice shaking again. As glad as he was to realize he wasn't going to have to worry about a divorce with Anna-Marie, the despair washing over him as he realized what he'd done, to what extent he'd been blinded to the possibilities, outdid the joy by far. Willow watched him, her concern growing more and more pronounced by the minute. "Xander," she said, "are you okay?" "I...think so..." he said, the memories of his family, of the years he and Anna-Marie had spent together, even through the fights, a deluge in his consciousness. He glanced up at Willow, realizing that to her, he must appear to have lost his mind entirely. He shook his head, stuffing the emotions down and letting a single thought rule his actions, for now. *You did this. Now live with it.* He couldn't let go of Buffy. He had already lived ten years without her, and even if she was with Angel at this point, he still had her in his life, it appeared. He had Cordelia, though the way she had left things on the phone wasn't condusive to the conclusion that she enjoyed his company any more than Anna-Marie had, toward the end. He still had Willow-- ever-constant Willow, who had been there for him since elementary school. Thank God he hadn't lost her, he thought to himself, because he never would have been able to face himself if he had screwed things up that badly. As he finished his drink, talking to Willow and slowly trying to feel his way through whatever had happened, Xander began to slowly realize what it was Cordelia had meant in that lifetime that had now never existed, but the memories of which were still strong in his mind. When she had asked what he had wanted and what he planned to do it he got it, if he did find Buffy in the cemetery and if he really did save her. He still didn't have any answers to the question, but now he at least knew-- he might have a chance in hell of finding out. Nina and Elliot. He would miss them. But maybe it was better this way. They wouldn't grow up with their parents constantly arguing, and they wouldn't go through whatever messy divorce procedures would have eventually come. He could deal with the pain. He could deal with the loss. And for the first time in a decade, Xander knew he was going to be able to deal with whatever life threw his way. Because this time, he hadn't been an idle pawn in fate's game. This time, he had made a difference. THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Looking Back Intro Date: 14 May 1998 23:33:43 -0700 Title: Looking Back Rating: PG.. violence, murder. Story: A new slayer is born.. someone you'd never expect... visit with her through her life while she learns, fights, loves and lives as well as she can. Posting: Heaven's Gates: The Watcher's Diaries: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Comments: Please.. to Lea at either lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@goecities.com Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine.. they are Joss's, MEP, and WB's.. I make no money from this and copywright infringement was not intended. ******************* Looking Back ~ By Lea In every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone, will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer. My name is Willow Rosenberg, and I am the slayer. My story is a long one, the tale of a journey across the ages beginning with the death of my best friend: she who loved me, she who trained me, and she who preceeded me in this destiny. In this life I have lost many friends, however she is the one person whom I will miss the most, forever. Though I will tell you the story of my birth as the slayer, my conclusion will not be the end of my tale. My story will continue until the day I am slain, which I fear will not be long into the future. Perhaps when that day comes, the next slayer will finish my tale, just as I finish my predecessor's and begin my own. I will never be the slayer she was, I only hope that I can give the trust she always gave me the justice it deserves as I move on to my own destiny. To begin at the beginning of my story would be far too confusing for those of you who know not of the slayer, or of her death. Instead I will begin with her.. my friend... my sister.. my.... ******************* "BUFFY!!!!!" The tiny blonde slayer of whom I've grown so fond over the years turned abruptly at my call, spinning on her heel, flawlessly driving the wooden stake deep into the vampire's heart. A pang of jealousy ran through me as I watched her move effortlessly through the vampirical masses, slaying creature upon creature with a grace born of experience far beyond her years. I could never move like that.. I could never be like her, for she was Buffy, and I was just plain old Willow. "Thanks, Will!" she called before returning to the battle. I smiled, all negative emotions fading into the background. When you're merely the computer wise side kick to an unsung hero there isn't much you can do to help in a fight; any little bit counts. I caught sight of Xander and Angel running towards us from the other side of the graveyard. They had earlier returned to the library with Giles for supplies; the vampires were coming in droves, and they were all gunning for Buffy. Xander came to my side, dropping the bag of stakes and sanctified weapons to the damp ground. Angel did not hesitate in returning to Buffy's side in the midst of the battle. "What took you so long?" I teased tensely as Xander smiled grimly in greeting. "We met some resistance along the way. Our fanged friends are coming at us from all directions. They've already taken over the school; we were lucky to get what we did." He peered around him nervously. "I wonder who called the convention of the undead, and why." A cold fear suddenly ran through me. "Giles?" Xander shook his head. "He's fine. He stayed behind with Ms. Calendar and Cordelia... they're gonna try to hold the library until we can get back." The sounds of vampires screaming came at us from all directions. We had been lucky so far; the demons had all been concentrating on taking Buffy, they hadn't noticed us off to the side. Our luck wouldn't hold for long. Xander and I looked at each other tersely. We were only sixteen, just regular kids at a regular highschool (well... Xander wasn't so regular.. he was.. well.. Xander...), and neither of us wanted to die, but we couldn't leave Buffy and Angel to fight alone. I wanted to reach out and touch Xander, kiss him just once in case.. well, just in case, but the same old fears overwhelmed me. I couldn't go against the rules of best friends, and one of them were you don't kiss your best friend no matter how in love with him you may be. I settled for reaching out and taking a hold of his arm. "Come on," I called, grabbing the bag and pulling Xander towards the battle. "Do you want to live forever?" Xander looked at the masses of vampires filling the graveyard and nodded vigorously. "Yes! As a matter of fact I do!" Three of the demons closed in on us, my knees shook in fear as I held tightly onto the stake that had suddenly found the palm of my hand. One of the vampires smiled at Xander's last statement. "We can help you with that..." it growled and fury overwhelmed me. "You leave him alone you over grown halloween costume!" Of course had I stopped to think about what we had been doing the halloween of that year, perhaps I could have thought of a less threatening retort. I've since come to realize halloween costumes are highly overrated. With a strength I didn't know I posessed I leaped forward and with one quick thrust pierced the vampire's heart with my stake. I stumbled backwards and turned to see Xander staring at me in shock as the vampire exploded. I shrugged it off, pushing it aside as merely adrenaline, and together Xander and I turned on our remaining assailants. The vampires frowned; their easy targets had surprised them. I grinned visciously; I had them off balance. As Xander raised the crossbow and shakily aimed it towards one vampire, I stepped forward, stake ready, to do away with the other. As I look back now I see that I was unusally calm, moving forward slowly, almost sneering as the vampire smiled. I had wanted it dead, and suddenly I had the strength and will to do it. Just as Xander let the bolt fly free from his bow (missing the first time, but I must give him credit, the second arrow hit dead on), I threw myself upon the remaining creature, brutally driving my fist into its face and my stake into his heart. I rolled backwards from the explosion of dust, my hand reaching out for another stake as I moved closer to where Buffy and Angel were fighting vainly. Swiftly I slayed two... three... four vampires from behind. As we fought, we neglected to notice the number of vampires dwindling; it was Xander who pointed it out. "Don't go!" he called, glibly. "Awww, come on! I was just getting warmed up!" He brandished his crossbow over his head as the demons passed him by, rushing out the gates of the cemetary. It was as if something had summoned them away from the battle. "Come on! I can take ya! Chickens!!!" One of the remaining vampires brushed by Xander as he was showing off. With a shove the creature sent Xander sailing to the ground. I had to giggle. "Way to go, Xan. You really showed him." I giggled again, I could never resist baiting him. "Laugh it up, Will. One day you'll see I can be every bit as good as that vampire!" Angel; he always had a thing about Angel. Little did he know I have always thought he was the best.. I never wanted him to change... but I couldn't tell him that, so I merely rolled my eyes. "Sure you will, Xander." Buffy grinned as she came up behind us, "Yep, the very same day Madonna starts giving Willow wardrobe tips." I clapped my hand over my mouth but I couldn't smother the laugh threatening to emerge. He scowled, "You two are such a total laugh riot." He turned to Buffy, "Need I remind you it was me who found the closet full o'wives, missy? Without me you'd probably have landed in jail!" Buffy grimaced, she hated thinking about Ted. "I could have handled Ted just fine." she muttered. "Beg to differ, little lady." She scowled. "Fine, have it your way, need I remind you that while I was suspicious of Ted from the start you were too busy swooning over his mini pizza's and cookies to listen?" Xander blushed; I almost sighed as I looked at him, then yet another stab of jealously shot through me as I realized he only had eyes for Buffy. Listen, I'm ashamed of how jealous I could be at times, even of my own best friend. By the end I understood everything, but at this point she still had the heart of the boy I loved, and I saw green. That sexy dance hadn't helped any.. I did not need to see Buffy gyrating against Xander, even if it was only to make Angel jealous. Xander climbed to his feet. "So, where'd the tall, dark and scaries rush off to?" Angel glanecd at the lightening sky. "It's almost dawn. They went for cover." Buffy looked up at him with a soft expression on her face; this time I did sigh. What I wouldn't give to be loved like that. "You should go home," she said quietly, slowly walking Angel away from Xander and myself. As Buffy said her goodbyes, I turned to watch Xander. He was watching Buffy; no surprise. I heard Angel mutter my name and I turned back to see both of them watching me as they spoke. I frowned, confused. What did they have to talk about that included me? It was later that day that my question was answered, and that is where my real story begins. End Introduction. -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Looking Back Part One of ??? Date: 14 May 1998 23:40:57 -0700 Title: Looking Back Rating: PG.. violence, murder. Story: A new slayer is born.. someone you'd never expect... visit with her through her life while she learns, fights, loves and lives as well as she can. Posting: Heaven's Gates: The Watcher's Diaries: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Comments: Please.. to Lea at either lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@goecities.com Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine.. they are Joss's, MEP, and WB's.. I make no money from this and copywright infringement was not intended. ******************* Looking Back Part One I sat in the library on my spare; Giles and Ms. Calendar were pacing in front of me, Buffy was sitting on the check out counter, kicking her legs. Xander and Cordelia sat on opposite sides of a table. They were all staring at me. I shrugged, "I don't know where it came from, everything happened so fast... before I even realized it the stake was in my hand and I was killing them." Giles frowned, "That's all you recall?" I nodded, "That's all.. I swear." "Don't swear, Will, it'd damned unladylike." Everyone in the room groaned, myself included. "Xander!" I looked up with a sort of worry, "Giles, do you think something is wrong with me?" He tapped his fingers against a book as he looked to Buffy and back to me. Finally he shook his head. "To tell you the absolute truth, Willow, I'm baffled." "What do you think is up?" Buffy looked over curiously. Giles rubbed his temples, walking to the weapons cage, and pulling out the crossbow. "Willow, would you please hit the target?" He indicated to me a bullseye upon the back of a door. I shrugged, "Well.. okay.." I picked up the weapon, pointed, and shot. The arrow went unerringly into the center of the target. "Wow." I muttered in surprise. "Again," Giles grumbled. Over and over I shot that target, each arrow splitting the last down the center, to hit the target. Giles sighed. Xander chewed on his lower lip as he finally burst out. "What?!" I couldn't hear what Giles muttered next; we all strained forward as he removed his glasses and nervously began to clean them. "Willow is.. well, she's..." I snapped, "I'm what?!" "You seem to be displaying the first signs of being... well.. a slayer." I stared at Giles in shock as Buffy's legs stopped moving, Xander's jaw dropped, and Ms. Calendar almost paced into a bookshelf. We all were motionless for a moment, my mind was entirely blank as Giles' statement refused to sink in. Suddenly, Cordelia began to laugh, she laughed and laughed until tears poured down her face. We all turned to stare at her, first in surprise, then in concern. She paied us no mind as she continued to laugh. Finally, she stopped on what sounded like a choking sob. "Willow's the slayer?" she muttered hysterically, "We're all dead. This is it, we're all dead!" I could have taken offence at Cordelia's hysteria, but it was hard to be offended when the same thought was pounding in my brain. How can I be the slayer? What about... "Buffy..." I choked out, and they all turned their attention back to me. "Buffy's the slayer.. I always thought of myself as more of a watcher... no offence Giles. What about Buffy?" Giles sighed, "The next slayer is recognized before the last dies. This allows the watcher to train her, teach her, and make sure she is prepared to follow her destiny." He shook his head as he picked up an old book and began scanning through the pages. "What baffles me is why you have never shown signs previously of being a slayer. Why only now?" Buffy shrugged, "Maybe it has something to do with all the vamps that are coming to town. Maybe she's meant to help me." Giles frowned, "Perhaps, but this is highly unprecidented." I nervously shifted in my chair, swallowing hard. "Um... well.. what are we going to do?" Giles raised his eyebrows, and sighed. "Well, I..I..I..I..I guess we're going to train you." *************** My training was a slow progress; though I have battled with Buffy for over a year, my physical condition was sorely lacking. Though my aim appeared true with a crossbow, throwing a stake needed work, and I lost repeatedly in hand to hand with Giles. The day that I was finally able to defeat Giles was a long time in coming. Two months had past, months in which I spent mornings and afternoons in the library training with Giles and Buffy. Evenings I spent at Buffy's working with her on my slaying techniques. The nights I followed Buffy on patrol, learing as I helped her work. I never knew how she felt about my being a slayer. She never acted differently to me afterwards, automatically shifting herself into a position where she could help me survive. She never seemed ingrateful of my help, which she sorely needed as the numbers of vampires had not decreased. None of the following nights had been as bad as the first. We were slaying upwards of five or six vamps a night, but so far we were able to hold our own. However, both Giles and I noticed the toll too many sleepless nights was taking on Buffy; her reflexes were slowing, degree by degree, and I was beginning to worry. The day of my greatest success in my training was the day everything hit the fan, so to speak. Giles had been so preoccupied with me, his research had suffered. As a consequence the Eve of Martok came upon us, and disaster followed. Giles and I were scrimaging, he was heavily padded, I on the other hand had chosen to fight free of restraint. His quarter staff flew at my head, I paried lightly, bringing my staff beneath his knees, cutting up to hear him yelp in pain. Again his staff came down upon me, trying to cut into my ribs. Newly toned reflexes allowed me to drop to the floor, bring my leg around to catch Giles' legs. My friend hit the floor hard, and before he could react I had the staff posed over his heart ready to end his life. Immediately Buffy leapt off of the check out counter on which she had been sitting, leaped across the library, and with a yell of triumph hugged me close. The feelings coursing through me at the time are hard to describe; there was the obvious feeling of triumph as I giggled at my defeat of poor Giles. There was relief and joy at Buffy's excitement on my part. But there was also fear.. fear of something I could not define. Ms. Calendar burst into the room. "Rupert, we have a problem." And so it begins. ******************* Giles almost groaned as Ms. Calendar activated her laptop and led him to her bookmarked pages on the Eve of Martok. I read swiftly over Giles' shoulder, learing of the blood that had been shed on this evening for the last several hundred years. Martok had been a master vampire, creating an army of the undead to converge upon country after country. The army killed, mauled, mutilated, recruited, and fed from dusk till dawn on this one night of each decade. Their victims were no match for their superior strength, each country turning for the most part into one long schmorgas board. The worst information was yet to come. Martok had been defeated by the slayer on this very night of the year. His army had taken one vow, one oath pledging that on the Eve of Martok they would kill the slayer. Finally Giles nodded, "That would explain the last few months increasing population of demons. The vampires are gathering to kill Buffy." I frowned, "What do we do?" Buffy chewed on her lower lip as she slowly paced the library, "Let me guess, this Eve of Martok thing is tonight?" I nodded and began scrolling through the remaining files on Martok. "The hour of destruction is between eleven and midnight. It only comes around once every ten years due to some configuration of the moon and sun... unfortunately they don't go into details. Anyway, if they can't slay you by midnight, seven vampires will be offered up for sacrifice and things should return to normal." Buffy scowled. "Whatever normal is." Giles grew very serious. "Buffy, call Angel. Find out what he has to say about tonight. Willow I want you to find Xander and Cordelia; we need stakes, holy water, everything we can get our hands on for tonight." Both of us nodded as we flew out of the library, leaving Giles and Ms. Calendar to prepare. ************** Dark had long since fallen. We were all sitting tensely in the library having forgone the suggestion that we get Buffy out of town. Xander and Cordelia sat off to the side, the weird closeness that had grown between them for once coming silently. Buffy and Angel stood in each others arms. To this day I wonder if either couple knew what was coming on some internal level that warned them to take these few quiet moments together. Giles, Ms. Calendar and I sat at a table, pretending we were flipping through books, but we all knew different. Surprisingly enough the vampires did not come for a long while; whether they were waiting for the hour of destruction, or were unable to find us, I do not know, but in the end it doesn't matter; they came. I will not go into all of the details of this battle; some are only vague images of blood and dust in my mind as I fought to stay alive, some are things I don't wish to remember. I fought as hard as I could, staking, stabbing, thrusting, straining, kicking, biting, killing, saving, and surviving. I moved about in almost a daze, fighting desperately. It was only as I heard Xander cry out that I became fully conscious of my surroundings. My heart leapt in terror as I turned, praying desperately that Xander would be unharmed. Fortunately Xander was fine, but Cordelia... Even now as I look back upon events that had happened so far into the past a tear comes to my eye. Cordelia may not have been my favorite person in the world, but I had grown to love her as a friend; seeing her like that put a scar on my heart that has yet to fade. However, losing Cordelia had not been the worst event of that night, not by far. Buffy, too, had turned at the sound of Xander's cry, a look of incredulty upon her face. None of us had ever really been harmed in our battles before, and it seemed she, like myself, had never believed it would happen. It was during that one moment of surprise, her one hesitation ever in her job that a vampire was able to slip out of the darkness and reach out for the slayer. In my mind what had happened next occured in slow motion. I was across the room, unable to help. Xander was fiercely protecting Cordelia's body from the vampires looking for a quick meal. Angel was being converged upon by vampire after vampire and could not pull himself free. Even Giles and Ms. Calendar were too far away to save her. Angel glanced up just in time to see the vampire grab a hold of Buffy, thread its fingers into her hair, and with one quick twist broke her neck. I watched as immortal agony ripped across his fingers, at the same time trying to smother my own scream as my best friend's body slid motionless to the floor. The rest of that night is no more that a blur. I can recall the vampires cheering in triumph to the sound of inhuman wails of grief I later found out were my own. I know that once the demons had left, gloating in their victory, Giles had helped Angel and Xander carry Buffy and Cordelia to the tables, laying them out gently. Somewhere deep inside themselves they had found the strength to cover the faces of my friends. I, on the other hand, sat for a long time upon the library floor, rocking back and forth, my heart breaking as mind numbing sorrow coursed through me. Images of Buffy and Cordelia, both living and dead, haunt me to this day, but that night they were overwhelming. How long I was like that I don't know. I don't recall Giles or Ms. Calendar trying to bring me out of it, though later they informed me of their frutal efforts. I don't recall Angel leaving, though he must have, for when I awakened he was gone. I don't even recall Xander coming to sit with me, but when I finally did awaken I was wrapped in the warm comfort of Xander's arms. Gently he rocked me back and forth, murmering comforts into my ear. I had never felt so safe in all my life, and slowly I began to cry. **************** End Part One -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Looking Back Part Two of ????? Date: 14 May 1998 23:48:51 -0700 Title: Looking Back Rating: PG.. violence, murder. Story: A new slayer is born.. someone you'd never expect... visit with her through her life while she learns, fights, loves and lives as well as she can. Posting: Heaven's Gates: The Watcher's Diaries: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Comments: Please.. to Lea at either lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@goecities.com Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine.. they are Joss's, MEP, and WB's.. I make no money from this and copywright infringement was not intended. ******************* Looking Back Chapter Two The Eve of Martok seemed to be the pivitol moment of my career for a long while. Long months passed where I saw few vampires, and even fewer demons. We spent those months in mourning, burrying Buffy and Cordelia, helping Mrs. Summers pack Buffy's things into flimsy cardboard boxes, taking what we wanted to remember her by, sending the rest to good will. I chose to take with me two pictures of Buffy, Xander and myself, her diary (which I later gave to Giles for his records), and two stuffed animals, a cow and a pig. In those months I never laid eyes upon Angel, he seemed to have disappeared once we had confirmed Buffy's death. For the briefest moment I thought I saw him during Buffy's funeral. At her request we held a moonlight graveside service for her; I could have sworn I saw him standing a little ways back from us, watching the ceremony with from the shadows. Though I patroled the cemetary every night since, he never appeared to me, and I began to wonder if he ever would again. One night, however, a light tap came at my window, and I turned to see him standing outside my bedroom, illuminated by the moon's white light, waiting to be invited inside. Angel seemed more pale than normal; his face was tighty drawn, his eyes were sunk into his head, and he seemed to have lost weight. He had taken her death very badly, seeking solace in solitude, but that night he had needed to talk. I laid on my bed, he on the floor, his hands cradling his head as he spoke. He told me of their time together, their stolen moments, their amusing moments, their romantic moments. Together we shared memories that until then had remained private thoughts between Buffy and ourselves. His eyes later caught sight of the pig sitting on a shelf over my computer where it had remained untouched since I brought it home. He slowly picked the pig up off the shelf and cradled it to him. "This was hers." I nodded, "We helped her mother pack her things. She let us take what we wanted from her room." "I know. I sit in her room some nights. Just thinking." His hand slowly caressed the pig, his eyes half closed as some memory made him smile. I picked up the cow and held it close as I watched him silently for a while. Finally, I walked over and placed a hand upon his arm. "Would you like to keep the pig? She'd have wanted you to have something." He hesitated, and then nodded. I doubt I could have taken the stuffed toy away from him had I tried anyway. He left not long after that, going back to his dark apartment, perhaps to feed, perhaps to lay down and dream wistful dreams of the love he had lost. It was hard on him, I know, to lose his only chance at love. How many others could get past the vampire thing to love him as the man he was inside? Only Buffy. I slept little that night as images of the heart broken vampire refused to leave my mind. ***************** The next evening found me in the library running through the motions of training. Even with my mind only half on what I was doing, I was still able to defeat Giles easily. My lack of attention, however, did not go unnoticed. As Giles and Xander waited impatiently, I finally chose to answer their questions. "I had a talk with Angel last night." I murmered quietly. Their eyebrows raised, "So dead boy's still hanging around is he?" Xander joked, weakly. I frowned, "He looks pale." "Isn't that a natural result of a blood sucking freak?" When neither my nor Giles' expressions changed, he sighed. "Or not." He paused, "He hasn't gotten over her?" I shook my head. "Have any of us really? I know I think about her almost every moment of every day." Xander nodded. "I know. I saw Cordy's parents the other day.. they.. well, they're not doing so good either." "Mrs. Summers is thinking about moving. Now that Buffy's things are packed away.. well.. she says there's nothing here for her but the gallery.. and she has no passion for it any more." Giles sighed. "This has all gone horribly wrong. I knew Buffy was in immenant danger of being destroyed, but I should never have allowed her to involve the rest of you. Willow, I can see that your destiny was to work with us.. train before training.. however in the cases of Xander and Cordelia... They should have never been placed in circumstances that could get them killed. I blame myself for Cordelia's death." Xander stepped in. "Whoa there G-man.. if anyone is responsible for Cordy's death, its either me or the vamp that did her. I'm not sure which. I should have been watching her back.. she was my girl.. and we all knew she wasn't up for a big fight." Giles nodded. "I suppose it is neither of our faults. However I still believe that neither of you should have been involved. I plan on rectifying that situation in Willow's course as the slayer. No more friends involved. Should anyone discover this secret, they will not be told any more than what they know. Is this clearly understood by both of you?" Both Xander and I nodded in unison. Neither of us wished to go through the pain we had been suffering since Buffy and Cordelia were killed ever again. Xander looked at me. "Well, I suppose it's down to you and me now, kid. Wonder what our prophecy is gonna turn out to be." I looked to Giles in curiosity. "Xander has a point, Giles. Is there a prophecy written for the slayer following Buffy?" Giles gave me a blank look. "Well.. I.. I.. hmm. I really have not checked to see." He cocked his head to the side. "You and Xander go on now.. I think I will stay and do some reading to find the answer to that question." *************** Xander decided to walk me home that evening. There was a chill in the air, a chill that grew deeper with in us as we passed by the home of our one time friend. I glanced up at Buffy's bedroom window.. the lights were turned off, but even still I could see a dark shadow prowling around inside, coming to rest upon her bed. He disappeared below the window line as he lay down, and I sighed. Angel needed to move on, we all did, but I knew that right now it was too soon to do so. I chose not to point out Angel's presence to Xander, knowing that my friend would only become upset. He had never liked Angel, especially once we discovered Angel's vampire nature, but they had almost seemed to be making progress. Buffy's death changed all that, possibly forever. We continued walking in silence, until a stick snapping caught both our attentions. We turned. He was standing behind us, a devilish grin crossing his demented face. The vampire raised an eyebrow. "Well, what do we have here? The ex-slayer's flunkies come to play?" Xander stepped in front of me, as if to protect me, and I rolled my eyes. It was a sweet gesture but unnecessary. I pulled a stake out of my bag, and pushed Xander lightly to the side. I glared at the demon. "What not enough room in hell, you had to ruin our day too?" Okay, so I wasn't Buffy with the witty comments. I try. "Since the slayer is dead, I guess I will settle for you.. children." The vampire sneered the last word. Xander lifted his chin in a cocky voice, "The slayer is dead, long live the slayer!" With an exaggerated bow, Xander stepped back from me and extended an arm towards the vampire. I raised my stake and launched herself into a Buffy-like flip over the vampires head, slamming my foot into his back, knocking him to the floor. The vampire snarled and dropped into a stalking stance. "Welcome, slayer, to the eve of your death!" He propelled himself forward, slamming into me, sending me flying across the street. He turned to Xander and grinned. "I hope you count five minutes as long, boy, cause that's how long this little girl is gonna last!" A shocked expression flashed across his face as I landed in front of him, and drove the stake through his heart. I grinned. "Buh bye!" The vampire exploded into millions of dust particles; Xander and I continued on our way back to my place. He sighed. "And one more vamp bites the dust." I shrugged. "At least he won't be able to inform Spike and Drusilla that I'm the slayer now." Xander nodded. "There is that." The rest of the night was uneventful.. for us anyway. We made it home, I went to bed, and Xander went off to do whatever Xander does. Underground, however, was another story. I didn't find out until long after that night, but Drusilla already knew who I was. My identity came to her in a dream that very night, a dream that started yet another change in my life... one that came about nearly five years later. End Part Three! -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Fledgling ~ Part Two of ??? Date: 14 May 1998 23:59:15 -0700 Title: The Fledgling Rating: PG.. Story: A vampire child is born.. half vampire, half human. Angel and Buffy attempt to raise it to respect humanity and turn her back on her vampire side. BTW: Niamh is pronounced NEEV. Posting: Heaven's Gates: The Watcher's Diaries: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Comments: Please.. to Lea at either lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@geocities.com Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine.. they are Joss's, MEP, and WB's.. I'm not making money from this and no copyright infringement was intended. ************** The Fledgling ~ Part Two Angel and Buffy began their training of the fledgling the next morning in his darkened loft. As it was a saturday, Buffy needed no explainations for where she was going and when she would return, her mother was satisfied merely with that she was going to hang with some friends and would stop by later before heading to the Bronze. It wasn't a lie, really, so her mom assumed she would be out with Willow or Xander... but she had never actually mentioned either of her closest companions by name. Xander, she knew, was hesitatingly spending the day shopping with Cordelia.. a thought that made Buffy giggle in sympathy for the boy. Willow would probably spend most of her day on her computer as she had recently purchased a new program that had her more excited than Buffy had seen her in a long time. It was safe to say that until they were to meet at six for dinner, neither of her friends would be calling her home during the day. She settled into the sofa and watched as Angel sat down with Niamh and began to relate the history of the vampire race. He began by explaining the need Niamh felt to draw the life essense from within every creature she came across. "The need for blood in vampires is the same for the need for food and water in humans. Vampires need to ingest blood to return what our nature deprives us of. We are the undead; our human organs no longer function. Our lungs do not breathe oxygen. Our bodies no longer require food. Still we need the nutrients in blood to continue the use of our limbs, to feed our systems, and so forth. Without it we will die. Still, no matter how badly we need blood, we must not kill to get it." Niamh cocked her head to the side. "To eat one must kill." Angel shook his head. "No, there are other ways. Especially for you." "Why?" Angel sighed. "You are not a full vampire. In essence, although you are undead, you are still half human. Your mind is still human while your body is vampire." Niamh looked from Angel to Buffy. "You're human." Buffy nodded. "Some would argue.. namely Principal Snider.. but yeah, I'm human." Niamh looked back to Angel. "You're vampire." He nodded. "Then you must kill." "No! I did once, but not now." "Why?" "My soul is human." A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Vampire's have no soul, you said so yourself, therefore you are not vampire." Angel passed his hand across his eyes. "I was cursed.. or perhaps blessed.. by a gypsy tribe. They returned my human soul to my vampire form. I no longer kill, but I am still a vampire. Nothing can change that, but you can change what you are. You can still choose." "To be what?" "You can choose to be either a benefit to the world you live in, to help Buffy and myself fight against the vampires and other creatures that live on the Hellmouth." "Or?" "You can choose to murder, and die." "You would kill me?" "Niamh, it's not what I want to do, but if you force me to I will." "Understood." Angel stood to his feet and brought back a glass for the girl; the red liquid within sloshed against the sides but he was careful not to let any spill. "Are you willing to try this my way?" Buffy glanced up. "Our way." Angel nodded. "Our way." The girl shrugged, taking the glass of blood. "Whatever." Angel kept his hand firmly on the cup. "Not whatever, Niamh, yes or no." "If I say yes I live like a recluse. If I say no I die. So I say whatever. Neither choice is great." He sighed. "I'm not a recluse, not any more. I have Buffy.. a few friends. You just need to learn how to live within the boundaries our lives dictate." "Can I eat now?" Buffy grinned at the agrivation Niamh was causing Angel. He'd teased her last night about her own frustration in dealing with the girl, now the tables were turned. She leaned over and whipsered into Angel's ear. "Well, she's definately not a daddy's girl." Angel scowled at her then rolled his eyes. He turned back to Niamh. "Yes, eat." The glass was raised to her lips swiftly, the blood swallowed even faster. Angel and Buffy watched her feed with raised eyebrows. He turned to look at the slayer and shrugged. "Want a pop or something?" Buffy grimaced. "I think not." Niamh drew her hand across her mouth, setting the glass back down upon the table. She turned to Buffy. "So what're you still doing here?" "Growing old." Buffy met the girl's hostile gaze with one of her own. "Listen, Niamh. I hear that you're confused, and torn between two worlds and so on and so forth. But so are the rest of us.. it's called being a teenager.. well, with the exeption of dino dude here. I'd say in the two worlds department we're about equal. I kill your kind.. in secret. You try keeping nightly slayage a secret. At least you get to sleep at some point." The girl shrugged. "Whatever." Buffy growled. "Could you please find something to say other than "whatever"? You're driving me insane!" "Whatever." Buffy tossed a sofa pillow across the room. "Impossible, the girl is impossible." Angel chuckled. "Guess she's not a mama's girl either." Buffy brandished another pillow at him. "I loathe you." "You guys are beyond weirdness." "Yeah well notice and accept. You're not exactly normal yourself." "Whine much?" Buffy's jaw dropped open with the use of her own phrase from this vampire child. She scowled. "Die much?" Niamh shrugged. "Only just lately." Angel stepped in between them. "Okay.. so now we've gone from infant to toddler straight into teenager in the span of a day." His eyes trailed from one girl to the other. He sighed. "Maybe I should think moving back in with Spike. Less hazardous to my health." Buffy glanced at her watch. "Walk me out Ange? I gotta get home and make an appearance before meeting Will and Xand." "Still tied up in mama's apron strings, Buffy? And I thought you were soooooooo independant." "Watch your mouth, kid, or you're gonna be tied up deligating which side of hell you're going to spend eternity in!" She shrugged. "Didn't I do that a minute ago?" "I say we give her to Spike. He and Dru can fight over which half they get." "Buff, don't be mean." "Tell that to her! We save her life and all she gives us is grief!" He ushered her out of the door and onto the darkend streets. "You're beginning to sound like your mother." She blinked. "Oh, God. I am. I'm my mother reborn." An expression of horror crossed her face. "Ah, come on. She's not so bad." "I'm old at seventeen." Angel nuzzeled her neck. "At least you still look good." Buffy giggled. "Cad." "You know it." ********************** "You did WHAT????" Xander and Giles burst out in unison. Buffy shrank back from the anger exuded from her friends. It was just after seven... all through dinner the secret of Niamh ate away at her, and finally she pulled herself to her feet and asked her friends to meet her at the library. Of course Giles had been there.. it was saturday night, where else would he be? The telling had not been easy.. how does one explain the rescue of a vampire by the slayer herself? Images of telling the others of her relationship with Angel came to mind. That had been bad. This was worse. Giles stepped forward. "Buffy, I understand from where you are feelings towards this girl are coming, but she's a vampire. We cannot just over look that fact. She must be dealt with, no matter what Angel has to say in the matter." "Giles, I know.. I tried.. but you have to see her to understand. She's just a kid. She's not like the other vampires. I mean sure she's hostile, and angry, and has all the personality of hell's minions, but don't all teens? And besides, she still has her soul.. err.. well.. most of it anyway." "You spoke in a similar matter about Angel. He had a human soul therefore he was no longer an animal, yet for months he reigned terror upon the entire town. He killed, maimed, and nearly brought the world to it's knees, not once, but twice. I cannot help but wonder what dangers would ensue should this vampire child choose it's demon nature over humanity." Buffy sighed. "Angel realizes that should she go wacky she dies. He said he'd kill her himself if it came to that. Call me sentimental girl but I think we should give him the chance." Xander scowled, "And you're basing your decision on what? His last attempt at vampire conversion therapy? Come on, Buff, get with reality here. Vampires are vampires not fuzzy little puppies you pick up off the streets and bring home." Willow giggled, "But they can be kinda cuddley, can't they, Buffy?" Buffy relaxed at her friends joke and smiled, "Yup, just as cuddley as a werewolf!" She paused and frowned. "We're really warped, you know?" Xander raised an eyebrow. "Now you figure that out?" "Come on! Rational relationships on the Hellmouth just aren't possible." Buffy giggled, "If Will and I aren't good enough for ya, Xand, you're our prime example!" Willow clamped a hand over her mouth as Xander scowled. "At least I'm dating a human." He muttered. Before she could stop herself, Willow blurted out, "Maybe in some other dimension!" "Children please!" Giles' voice cut through their fun, and once again Buffy, Willow and Xander were returned to the situation facing them. Buffy sighed. "Reality beckons." Giles stepped forward and placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "I can no more tell you what to do in this situation than I could when it came to Angel. You have your own mind... well.. mostly.." "Hey!" Giles smiled slightly and continued, "You are very stubborn, but intelligent in your own way. I will support your decision should you choose to raise this.. fledgling.. however if she turns on you, I am trusting you to complete your duties as the slayer." "Giles, you know I will." "And that would be why I have decided not to contest your choice. Have Angel bring Niamh? to see me. I would like to examine her, perhaps have Willow run a few physical tests while I examine her mental capabilities." Buffy grinned and turned towards the door. "Will do!" She paused, "Hey, Will, you wanna come with me to get Ange and Niamh?" Willow shrugged, "Sure, why not?" She paused and frowned, "Of course the why not could consist of pointy teeth in my neck leaving a nasty mark that my mom will probably blame on Oz." Buffy giggled. "She'd get over it.. eventually." Willow giggled too, "Yeah, but Oz may not!" The girls moved to the door, peering back at Xander scowling at them, and Giles looking worried.. as usual. Buffy shrugged off her friend's unhappiness in lieu of chatting with Willow. Together they began the long walk back to Angel's to pick up the vampire and his new ward. End Part Two! -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: otherverse 1: A Sword Against the Darkness Date: 15 May 1998 00:50:13 -0400 AUTHOR=92S NOTE: This story is set in an somewhat alternate Buffyverse. = =20 While many of the characters exist here, they may be considerably different than the ones you are used to. The first few stories will be short introductions to the characters, to give you some idea of what to expect from them in my writings. My stories will usually involve dismemberments and stuff like that.=20 Title: A Sword Against the Darkness Author: R. Smith (conor@dnaco.net) Rated: R for violence (although this one is a bit tame) Summary: Nah... read it. Comments: Bring =91em on Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire universe, characters and concepts are property of Josh Wheldon, Mutant Enemy, etc, etc... =20 Summer 1996, a Tuesday night, late. Xander pulled his sword from the steaming body of the demon. He glanced around to make sure the beast had no friends nearby, then strode over to his supply bag. He pulled a cloth from the bag and carefully wiped the gore from his blade. After sheathing the sword, he looked himself over. He had a few superficial cuts and scratches, but beyond that, he was pretty well off (besides being covered in demon blood.)=20 He=92d have to make sure his wounds were well cleaned when he got home; there was always a danger of infection when you got that stuff under your skin. =93What have we here?=94 whispered a voice from his left. =93Looks like the Hunter himself,=94 whispered another, this time from h= is right. Xander looked up to find two pale, fanged individuals smiling hungrily at him. =93Hey, guys,=94 Xander smiled, =93You wouldn=92t be interested in just = going on about your business, would you? I=92ve already had a pretty hard nigh= t here.=94 The vampires just smiled and moved toward him. =93Didn=92t think so,=94 he said, and thought to himself, =93So much for= an early night.=94 His sword hissed as it cleared the scabbard. It glimmered menacingly in the moonlight, causing the vampires to pause. Then they chuckled. =93Can=92t kill us with steel, little man,=94 said the one on the right, =93Don't you know anything about vampires?=94 =93This is no ordinary steel, bat boy,=94 Xander replied, =93This sword = was blessed by the Pope 392 years ago, specifically for killing demons.=20 Last I heard, vampires were really nothing more than humans possessed by something..... what was that word? Oh, yeah -- demons. So I figure it=92ll work on you just fine.=94 During this exchange, the vampires had been spreading out, trying to catch Xander between them. Years of training kept that from happening, however, when Xander suddenly lunged at one of them, causing him to jerk back, and before that vampire could recover, he turned on the other one and split it from crotch to chin in one stroke. The vampire screamed as the wound began to smoke, and it fell writhing to the ground, trying to hold it=92s guts in. Xander moved toward the other vampire, holding the sword ready to strike or parry as needed. He moved like a cat, never losing even the slightest bit of balance. The vampire looked over at it=92s fallen companion and decided that staying was not likely to improve it=92s chances of survival. As it turned to run, Xander chuckled, =93Uh-uh, ugly. I was just kiddin= g earlier when I said you could go about your business. I=92m afraid I=92m not allowed to let you live.=94 The vampire got set to run, and as it planted it=92s feet, Xander swung the sword low, taking off one of it=92s legs at the knee. It fell, howling, and clutching the bloody stump, as Xander moved up behind it.=20 His sword whistled as he swung it overhand, splitting the vampire=92s hea= d in two and silencing it=92s screams forever. He calmly walked over to the other one as it lay twitching and bleeding on the ground. =93Time for you to do that eternal rest thing,=94 he said to it, and wit= h a flick of his sword blade, he took it=92s head off. Xander looked around the clearing. He'd been lucky tonight. Lucky the demon hadn't hurt him worse. Lucky that the vampires had obviously been newborns. Lucky there hadn't been more of them. He could kill vampires, but he was poorly equipped to do so. He just wasn't the Slayer. =20 He'd heard that she'd finally been found, in L. A. of all places, and he really hoped that her Watcher could convince her that the Hellmouth was the place for her. Otherwise, sooner or later, Xander was going to run into a pack too big for him to kill. He paused a moment, chanting something quietly in Latin. Then he walked over and got his bag and headed for home. At his back, the three corpses burst into flame. When the people of Sunnydale walked through this park tomorrow, they=92d find nothing more disturbing than a little fine ash on the ground. >>>That's it for now folks, hope you liked it a little. More to come soo= n.<<< ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Saying Goodbye (1/1) Date: 15 May 1998 10:22:22 EDT TITLE: Saying Goodbye AUTHOR: Tamara EMAIL: Redfire98@aol.com FEEDBACK: Since I'm really iffy on this one, feedback is a must. DIST: Eventually my page. All others please ask. RATING: PG SUMMARY: The title says it all really. It's Buffy and Angel and it's after soul restoration. It's sappy, it's sad. I apologize. Profusely. I also make up stuff to suit my own purposes, so just flow with it. DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the BtVS characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, WB, and Fox. I'm just borrowing them while I mess with their heads and make their lives miserable. And I don't make them miserable on purpose. My mind has a mind of it's own and it does not listen to me. Especially after that last incident...but let's get on with the story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saying Goodbye Sporting a smug smile, Buffy pulled a stake from behind her back and presented it to her prey. He looked at her, surprised, for a moment before foolishness took over and he lunged at her. She stepped to the right, avoiding his attack. "Bye bye," she said sweetly and with one smooth thrust, she plunged the stake deep into the vampire's heart. Just as he was exploding into a cloud of dust her Slayer sense told her a certain special vampire was around. She considered, breifly, to just walk away. She wasn't really sure she wanted to deal with Angel right now, or the whole list of things that happened whenever they were together lately. But running away wouldn't help. Sheathing the stake back in the sleeve of her jacket, the one he'd given her, she turned to greet him. Her words of welcome were never vocalized once she saw him. He really didn't look much different. He was dressed in his usual black jeans and leather jacket. But instead of the usual white shirt he wore the dark green sweater she'd bought him a year ago. When things had been happy between them. At that inadvertent reminder that all was not well, Buffy turned and started to walk away. Only his softly spoken words stopped her. "Come back," Angel called out to her. "Please." It was the please, spoken so softly, so painfully, that halted her. That and the fact that even upset with Angel she couldn't help herself when he spoke to her like that. Cursing herself a fool a thousand times over, she turned back to him. When she looked into his eyes she saw something there that told her this meeting was different. Angel hadn't come to hash out their differences, he hadn't come to have a heart to heart. Something was going on and Buffy knew she wasn't going to like it. "What's happening?" she asked him, a tinge of fear in her voice. Angel looked away for a moment, and Buffy knew her thoughts were right. "I'm leaving," Angel stated calmly. If it hadn't been for the sadness in his eyes Buffy would have thought he wasn't affected by this. But Buffy couldn't pretend this wasn't hurting her. Before Angel could see the tears in her eyes Buffy turned and stalked away. She heard Angel trailing after her, but she gave no thought to it. The only thing her mind could focus on was that Angel was leaving. And odds were he wasn't coming back. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd known this was coming. For a while things had been so great between them. They'd been so happy. Whenever she had doubts that things were too good between them she pushed them away, thinking maybe it was time for her to finally be happy. But things had gotten bad and then they'd gotten worse. But through it all she'd held on to one sliver of hope, thinking that maybe if they got through the worst of times, they'd be happy again. She stopped suddenly and, disregarding tears, she turned back to him. "Why?" she asked him, confusion, disbelief and pain clear in her voice. Angel closed his eyes not wanting to see the tears he'd seen so many times before, knowing that he was the one causing them. "Buffy, you know why," he said facing her once again. "It's the best thing. For both of us." Buffy cried out in frustration. "You're running again," she accused in anger. Angel sighed as the jab hit home. But he couldn't deny it. "You're right," he admitted. "I am running away. You know as well as I do that things are not working out. As much as we try, and as hard as we wish it, things will never be the same. I can't stay here, seeing you everyday, knowing that we'll never get what we had back." They'd had this arguement before and Buffy didn't want to get into it again, but she had to know why they couldn't try to work it out. Their problems had happened so suddenly. It had all started that one night a year ago, the night that Angel had lost his soul. Buffy still held a small amount of guilt for that little episode. For six months, Angel's demon had roamed Sunnydale, making life a living hell for her and the others. And then just as suddenly as he'd been taken away, with the help of the restoration spell, Angel returned. She'd thought with Angel back, things could go back to the way they'd been before, she'd hoped they could be happy together. She hadn't counted on her inability to seperate Angel and Angelus, even when she knew her Angel was back. She hadn't counted on him shutting her out so completely that she felt the loss of him deeper than when he'd been gone before. But even though they couldn't be in a room together without yelling, Buffy knew they still loved each other. And she knew they could work things out. If only they tried. But now that Angel was leaving she didn't think they'd get the chance. And she couldn't accept that. "I miss being with you," Angel continued softly. "The way things are going we'll never get back to that. Hell, we can't even strike up a friendship. The best thing, for both of us, is for me to just leave." Buffy shook her head, denying his words. "Angel, you can't leave me," she said softly. "I need you." "No as much as you think." Buffy smiled sadly. "More than you know." Angel looked away for a moment. "Buffy, I'm leaving. Nothing is going to change that." At that simple statement Buffy was positive she felt something inside her break, but she wasn't going to dwell on it now. She knew now that he really was leaving. No amount of pleading or wanting on her part was going to make him stay. "Have you told the others?" Buffy asked him trying to get her mind on something else, trying to focus her mind on something other than the pain. Angel nodded. "I talked to Giles before I came to find you." Buffy sighed, grateful that she wouldn't have to break the news to the others. The only bad thing was that they were going to treat her with kid gloves for the next couple of days. She wasn't looking forward to that. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "Losing you," she said after a moment. "Losing you scares me. I'm not sure I can handle it. Not again." "You're not losing me, Buffy," he said, attempting to reassure her. Again, her lips lifted in a sad smile. "Yes, I am." Now that she knew he was leaving, knew that after this night they'd be apart forever, all the arguements, the yelling, the fighting, they didn't matter anymore. The angry silences, the subtle insults, all seemed so petty. They'd wasted so much time and now it was too late. As if by pulled by some unstoppable force, Angel and Buffy walked toward each other until there was no space between them. "With you gone I'll have to argue with Giles. He'll be so upset." Buffy said smiling once again. "And no more late night talks with Will about our dates. And you're leaving before our date to mom's big art show." "You'll find another date," Angel insisted. He didn't sound too enthusiastic about the idea though. Buffy chuckled. "I don't want another date." Angel pulled Buffy into his arms bringing her closer to him. "If I'd known I was leaving I wouldn't have started that fight last night." "There are lots of things I would have done if I'd known you were leaving." "I'm going to miss you," Angel whispered softly. Buffy leaned forward and placed her lips on his. Angel pulled her closer crushing her in his arms. When Buffy pulled away Angel wiped the tears from her eyes. "I love you," he told her knowing that maybe she deserved to hear it again. "I love you, too," she whispered in answer. Then she stepped back and let him go. She watched as he disappeared silently into the night, his body blending into the shadows until they became one. He'd exited her life exactly the way he'd come into it and, despite her sadness, she smiled. And when she couldn't see him anymore she sat down on the ground of the cemetery and finally allowed herself to really cry. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, CtH Mistress ~ Redfire98@aol.com ~ UCS ~ Spikette ~ SGEB ~ SunS Worshipper ~ RABID ~ GASP Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/index.html "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" "I think, therefore I'm single." -Lizz Winstead ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jennifer M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions, Part 2 Date: 15 May 1998 07:37:49 PDT TITLE: Best Intentions AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary? RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1? THANKYOUS: Thanks Leslie S.! FEEDBACK: Please! Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al. The idea is mine, though! Best Intentions Part 2/15(?) The next morning, Buffy got up, dressed, took special care to put on her cross necklace and Claddaugh ring, and went to find her mother. What she found was something else. She walked into the kitchen and was grabbed and held firmly by two men. Two *really* large men. Even with her Slayer strength, Buffy could not pull free of them. The men exchanged looks, surprised by the small girl's strength, but they held on. She looked up at them, and shouted, "Hey! Let me go! Are you trying to rip my arms off? MOM!" "Buffy, I know what you're thinking, but, honey, this really is for the best," her mother said from the other side of the kitchen. She looked at her mother with hurt, confusion, anger and fear written all over her face. But the emotion that got to Joyce the most was the betrayal showing in her daughter's eyes. "Mom! What are you doing?" "Buffy, I think you need some time to talk to some people, get some rest." Buffy was still pulling to get away from the men that held her. "Get *off* me! Mom! Tell them to let me go!" Her slayer strength was failing her. "No, Buffy. I think this is for the best. I think you may be in some kind of trouble, and you really need some time to get things into perspective." Joyce had rehearsed this speech, but it just didn't sound right coming out of her mouth. Her resolve almost melted away. "Honey, you just need a break. You need some time to relax and get some therapy. I'm afraid, Buffy." The tears that Joyce had been holding back finally began to stream down her face. Buffy stopped fighting the two men. Very calmly, "OK, mom. But, do me this one favor. Go to Mr. Giles, you know, the librarian, and tell him what you had to do, and ask him to give you the explanation that you couldn't wait to hear from both of us." The men started to drag her towards the back door. "Mom! Come on, tell me that you'll do that! Please!" Joyce looked away, her hands covering her face as her tears continued to fall. The two men dragged Buffy outside to the waiting van, where they forcefully strapped her down. "Look, you don't have to tie it so tight, do you? Ouch!" They ignored her, and went to the front of the van, and drove away from her house. Joyce was in the kitchen crying uncontrollably. "Oh, Buffy. Why couldn't you just talk to me?" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jessica Dubois Subject: BUFFYFIC: Willow's Challenge (1/1) Date: 15 May 1998 13:22:09 -0400 Title: Willow's Challenge (1/1) Author: Jessica Dubois E-mail: Jessica.Dubois@sympatico.ca Distribution: Please ask first. It'll be archived eventually at my own site, The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells, Rating: PG Summery: It's a short piece, and mostly fluff. Just read it. Disclaimer: I don't own Willow or Angel. Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, and 'Grr Arg' do. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made. Feedback: Yes, please. Willow's Challenge By: Jessica Dubois Willow stirred her untouched coffee, and sighed as she glanced around the Bronze. Things had been hairy lately, with Ampata and Ford trying to mess up their lives, not to mention that whole thing at Halloween. But things were not so bad now. Almost normal. Willow hoped that they would stay normal. Willow was bored. Buffy was patrolling, Xander was away for the weekend with his parents, and Giles was up to his neck in books. Willow smiled faintly. Her thought trailed off as she glanced up and saw Angel coming towards her. He smiled, and Willow felt happiness bubble inside of her. Angel was a good friend, despite the... vampire thing. "How are you, Willow?" he asked, as he motioned as to whether he could sit. She quickly nodded her head, and smiled. "Good. If you're looking for Buffy, she's out patrolling." Angel smiled. "I know. But vamp activity is pretty low right now. So she'll be fine. I thought that since Xander was away, you might like some company." Willow smiled brightly. "I could always use company. Especially since I rarely see you, and you rarely talk, and we really..." Willow looked down, embarrassed. "And I really should be quiet now." Angel gave a small chuckle. "It's alright, Willow. I don't mind if you babble. It almost makes me feel... normal." Angel looked down, as Willow's head shot up. "You are normal, in a..." Willow frowned. "Ok, you're not normal. But you're special, but you still deserve to feel happy." Angel made a grim rueful sound. "You do," Willow said firmly. "You're a great guy, and a great friend. You help people, and if it weren't for you, Buffy, Xander and I would probably be dead." "Don't say that," Angel said grimly. "It's true," Willow said softly. "And I want to thank you for it." Angel looked at her with torture in his eyes. "I didn't do anything." Angel looked around a little wildly. "I should go." He moved to get up, but Willow put a hand on his arm, and he paused. "Angel. I'm your friend, and I'm always here for you. Remember that, ok?" Angel nodded, and headed off. Willow sighed again. Angel was so sad. She really wished she could help him be happy, but it was a real challenge. He refused to accept that he had friends, and that he wasn't alone anymore. But she refused to give up on him. She would wait as long as it took, until he accepted their friendship. And then, she, they all would, teach him how to be truly happy. Willow smiled, as she continued to stir her still untouched coffee. she thought. She smirked lightly, as her mind whirled with ideas on how to bring Angel truly into their fold. Fin Author's Note: I'm building an Angel/Willow fan fiction archive, and I would like to ask that if anyone had Angel/Willow fic, to please send it my way. And feedback on this piece is greatly wanted. Jessica -- "Ours is a forbidden love." - Willow, Lie to Me "She's dancing... Dancing with Death!" - Drucilla, IOHE4U Keeper of Willow's Spellcasting Ability Visit my Site The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/295/index.html ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude # 7: "Black," by Ingrid Date: 15 May 1998 17:33:24 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Spike, Xander, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: What ever happened to Willow that night? STORY INFO: This series is meant as a companion to "Reunion." (The flashbacks take place about 9 years beforehand.) If you haven’t read "Reunion," this won’t make much sense to you. If you don’t have parts 1-16 of it, you can write to me and request them. FORGIVE my mistakes. I was in a sleep-like state when I wrote this. I don’t *think* there are any mechanical errors, but I’m sure you’ll find plenty. Please disregard! "Reunion" Interlude # 8: "Black" by Ingrid All was black around her. She hovered there for a time, searched for anything, but there was nothing. Dead? Hours, she’d been here. She was beginning to feel the edges of her brain starting to curl. She tried to pull her legs up; to sit up and fall asleep- anything was preferable to this terrible consciousness. Her neck snapped as her head slammed into something not a few feet above where she’d been laying. Knots formed, teeth clenched, but it couldn’t prepare her for the jolt of pain traveling directly down her spine like a bolt of lightning. Air escaped her lungs, but she didn’t scream. She was in too much pain for that. She waited, trying to concentrate on anything but her broken bones. It was useless. There was nothing. Her head would soon roll off, she was sure, having nothing to keep it from lolling back into the dark. Then she moved her head just slightly, and convulsed when the pinched nerve at the base of her skull seemed to tear- the last remaining attachment between head and body. She screamed and thrashed about. It wouldn’t go. Wouldn’t leave. She hit something like a comforter on her right and froze. Something padded. She pushed out with her arms. Padded and solid on all sides. Felt the long dress she was wearing. She hadn’t been wearing this, and why this tight collar? Her neck throbbed again, strong and needle-like. She saw red, and suddenly it all made sense. The padded walls, her dress clothing. She was dead. No. Undead. Six feet under the ground She choked on the darkness around her. She was suffocating. She kicked hard at the invisible ceiling hysterically. To her shock, the lid swung open, and she saw stars above her. Many feet above. Roots reached out from the levels of sediment like hands seeking to hold her in. She had to get out. Taking a deep breath, she swung up, pressed her feet to the floor for extra height, and leapt onto the side of her tunnel to the sky. The rest of the way she clawed with lightning speed. The needles penetrating her neck only drove her to work faster. She crawled out and stood, running as soon as she was able to stand. She didn’t know where she was going. Just away from this place. The woods were close at hand, and she threw herself into the densest patch of trees she could find. Her mission accomplished, she collapsed. *** END, interlude 8. "I have no doubt in my mind that there is a circle of hell dedicated solely to forcing its inhabitants to write research papers." _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 7) Date: 15 May 1998 20:13:22 -0400 Title: Broken Bonds (Part 7) Author: Northlight e-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca Thanks: Leslie Summery: Giles dissapears and bad things start to happen. Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Willow dropped onto her bed with a weary sigh. She was exhausted. Dealing with an angry Buffy tended to take a lot out of a person. Not to mention that she had to entertain Xander while he was ill, face Tyler, worry about Giles, and try to figure out what was happening. 'And who could forget that history test on Monday.' Willow groaned and burrowed her head under her pillow. 'Having Buffy deal with vampires was much easier than this,' she thought, grinning slightly at the absurdity of longing for days where all they had to worry about were long toothed demons. "Ok, enough fun for today," Willow chided herself as she reluctantly pulled her head out from under the pillow. "Back to work for me." She moved towards her desk and dropped down in front of the computer. Willow absently nibbled at her lower lip as she went over what she had found out after Buffy had first told her of Giles' disappearance. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. Giles hadn't bought a plane ticket back to England, or anywhere else for that matter. There wasn't any record of him buying a train ticket, renting a car, or checking into a motel. Obviously, Giles still had to be somewhere in Sunnydale. Which led to the question of why he hadn't contacted Buffy. He had to know that the Slayer would be worried sick at his unexplained absence. Willow could think of two reasons for his lack of communication. Giles couldn't get to a phone, or he felt that he couldn't risk it. 'Or he could be-- No! I'm not thinking that! Good thoughts. Think good thoughts.' Pushing aside all unwelcome thoughts of the third possible explanation for Giles' failure to contact Buffy, Willow concentrated on the task before her. "Now lets see what I can find out about Tyler..." ****** Buffy growled as she restlessly paced across her room. She hated the waiting, the not knowing, the helplessness. Buffy had grown used to facing her problems head on. 'What use is it being the damned Slayer if I'm not doing anything!' she silently raged. But there wasn't anything that she could do, not now. Willow was searching for information, Angel was still held inside by the sun as was every other vampire, and Buffy didn't feel ready to face Tyler again. "What an idiot!" Buffy ground out, the thought of Tyler raising her temper once again. "He comes in, under suspicious circumstances too, and proceeds to tell me that I can't have my friends! What, suddenly my Slaying technique isn't good enough because I have people to support me?!" Buffy continued to pace through her room. The angry thuds of her footfalls were punctuated by growled mutterings. It was going to be a long day. ****** Giles shifted uncomfortably, feeling out of place in the jeans he wore. 'I miss my tweed...' he thought wistfully before drawing his mind back to the more important matters at hand. "Here you go, Rupert," Simon said solemnly, dropping several sheets of paper on the table before the Watcher. "It's as complete a list as possible on both sides of the split. I also tried to find out exactly what artifacts, magics and texts are within the hands of both groups." Giles nodded absently, already engrossed in the information held within papers he held. His mouth twisted unhappily at some of the names in the two neat columns. "Are you sure of these?" he asked the other man. Simon shrugged. "As sure as I can be." He understood Rupert's unwillingness to accept some of those placements. It was hard to believe that a long bond of tradition, knowledge, and purpose had been broken. Even though Simon had seen it coming, he too felt a pang of regret for what they had lost. A flicker of sadness passed through Giles' eyes at Simon's confirmation. Their eyes met for a moment, and a shared sense of loss passed between them. Then Giles' eyes dropped back to the papers. "Did you manage to find out who was sent to replace me as Watcher?" Simon grimaced. "Nathaniel Tyler." Giles' head jerked up and his eyes met Simon's once again. "Nathaniel?" he choked. "Not a good thing." End Part 7 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Rendezvous with Midnight (1/1) Date: 15 May 1998 21:14:31 EDT Title: Rendezvous with Midnight Author: Tamara! Email: Redfire98@aol.com Feedback: I'd appreciate it. Lots. Distribution: It's up on my page. If you want it, ask me first. Summary: During a confrontation with Angelus, Buffy learns something about herself and her enemy. Angelus learns a little something, too. Disclaimer: Characters from the show don't belong to me. They're Joss Whedon's. I'm just borrowing them so I can screw up their lives and mess with their heads. It gives me something to do. Note: This story is just another way for me to be angsty. Go along with it. Open your mind and say to yourself, it's just a story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rendezvous with Midnight Darkness. It was all she saw, all she felt. All around her there was nothing but darkness. She walked down the street, oblivious to her surroundings, focusing only on the dark. She could sense him near, knew he was waiting for her. She knew it was dangerous, knew he had no qualms about taking her life. But somehow, she couldn't resist the darkness. She couldn't resist him. She stopped at the entrance to the apartment, her mind giving one last scream for her to leave. She was unarmed, her mind totally unfocused on destroying him. She was't ready to kill him, didn't think she'd ever be ready to truly defeat him. She knew that she should be running away, knew she should be trying to save her life. But some little part of her wanted to be there, some part of her needed the darkness that surrounded him. So, with total disregard for her life, she took that final step into the apartment, into his domain. He was sitting there waiting for her. She spotted him as soon as she stepped over the threshold. His eyes were focused intently on her, a slight smile graced his lips. As she walked toward him she wondered what the smile was for. She knew it wasn't because of past memories of this place, knew it wasn't because he cared about the time they'd spent in this room. No, the smile had to be there because he was certain she couldn't stay away from him. She would do anything to be with him. Even give up her life. He stood up suddenly and she halted her steps, not sure of what to do next. He held out a hand and, with only the slightest hesitation, she took it. He hauled her roughly to him, his arms crushing her against his chest. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked him casually, as if they were talking about the weather. It surprised her that she wasn't afraid to die. Angelus raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her. "Maybe," he answered with a shrug. "I haven't really decided yet. Why? In a hurry to die?" Buffy smiled. "No, just wanted to be up to date on things." "Glad I could oblige." He leaned down until his lips were just a breath above hers. "Why are you here?" That was one of many questions she couldn't answer. What was she doing there? She'd been asking herself that question all the way over here. Why couldn't she stay away from him? Why did she always come back, knowing that he could kill her, understanding that her weakness, her inabilty to destroy him, made him stronger? Why did she keep torturing herself? Why couldn't she reject the darkness? Why was she so entranced by him, the creature so intent on making her suffer? Those were questions she feared she would never know the answers to. They were too hard, too complex. She just didn't know how to answer them. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe it was all some big joke. She smiled, briefly, as she pictured the higher powers looking down upon them, entertained, as they silently manipulated their latest toys. Make the Slayer attracted to her enemy, she thought with a look at the ceiling. I hope you like the show we're giving you. She turned her attention back to the one holding her in his arms, looking deep into his eyes searching for answers, only to receive more questions. Looking into the depths of his eyes, eyes that held no emotion, no hint of feeling whatsoever, not anger, not hate, not love, she saw herself. In his eyes she saw what drew them together, she saw what forced them to back to each other, despite the hate. In his eyes she saw darkness. The same darkness she saw in herself. Pulling herself from her thoughts she focused on Angelus. He was still watching her, waiting patiently for her answer to his question. She had a feeling, though, that he already knew the answer. "Why am I here?" she repeated the question, finally ready to speak. "I'm here because I can't help but be here. We're connected. We can't fight it. We're drawn together and though we hate it, we go along with it because we have to." There was a light of understanding in his eyes and she knew that he was aware of what was between them. And he didn't like it anymore than she did. But what they wanted didn't matter. "I can't kill you," Buffy said with a sigh. She reached up and wrapped her arms around him. "At least not yet. I still love you. I don't want to, but I do. But eventually I'm going to work up the nerve to destroy you. I *will* destroy you." "And I'll destroy you," Angelus replied, his voice confident. Buffy nodded, knowing he was right. It was the only way they could go. When their fight was over, both Slayer and Vampire would be gone. Another Slayer would come and take her place, another Vampire would lead the clan. But Buffy and Angelus would be no longer. They knew it and accepted it. It startled her when his lips came down on hers, rough and demanding. It was something she hadn't expected to happen. But she didn't waste time being cautious. Pulling him closer to her, she opened up to him, letting him inside her mouth, inside her soul. As he deepened the kiss she once again felt the shadows that surrounded them. As Slayer and vampire kissed, as their mouths melded together, they connected. Good and evil disappeared, love and hate evaporated. There were only two people, their passion... And darkness. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, CtH Mistress ~ Aramat330@aol.com ~ UCS ~ Spikette ~ SGEB ~ SunS Worshipper ~ RABID ~ GASP Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/index.html "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" "I think -therefore I'm single." -Lizz Winstead ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (17/?) by Ingrid Date: 15 May 1998 23:28:37 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: Later that night… WELCOME to my story. It takes place ten years into the future, but I’m not telling you what’s happened in advance. That’s happening through interludes. FEEDBACK: I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway! My address is Ingrid29@juno.com. REQUESTS FOR PARTS: If you don’t get this, that’s because you haven’t read the other parts. If you want to get this, ask me for them! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Seventeen: "Long Winter’s Nightmare" ********* It might have been something about that night that made dreams so clear and watery at the same time, or it might have been the moon, so hollow, the darkness caressing its insides. But whatever it was, the house was alive with it as if one body breathed; exhaled slowly. ~~~ There were faces again, writhing and groaning. They were her faces. She didn’t mean to go so close, but invisible fingers pulled her along and she slipped on the wet grass of the shore. The split second when she’d realized she was falling was a moment too late to do anything about it. Her flesh crawled, her body tensed. They were screaming as she plunged into the water and those heads continued to float, unable to move, covering the entire floor of the lake in shadow. It was dark, and deeper than it looked from the outside. Something green and slimy brushed her leg, and she darted forwards, looking for an opening at the surface. Something translucent began to appear at the bottom- Willow was there, her hair floating about and above her, foot stuck under a rock. She was pulling at it calmly, then more anxiously as she realized she was in trouble. She immediately took of to help her, ignoring her burning lungs and reaching towards the deep dark bottom. She stopped almost immediately as someone at the sandy floor lifted the rock easily. It didn’t take her very long to recognize Spike. Again she shot out to help, but again she stopped, as Willow smiled, approached, and wrapped her arms around him in one seductive motion. She looked on in horror as they shared a sensuous kiss. Her lungs burst. She woke up gasping for breath. ~~~~ He was running, he knew. That much he knew, and not much else. His legs were moving, his vision was blurry He was in a vacant city. The blue buildings towered above him, laughing; crumbling slowly. The lightning struck rock and slabs of the dark stuff fell from the sky, crashing around him. Cobblestone path. Stumbling, slowing. It was following. Faster. One unbalanced step wrenched his foot away, and his ankle snapped. He cracked inside and fell, face to the pavement again. The sky ripped in two, and began to bleed in buckets. In moments, he was soaked. He had always been soaked, and this is how it always started. It stopped. It had never started, and yet he was soaked. And then came the pain. He heard footsteps distantly, and in moments he saw the feet and looked up in time to notice the bleached hair and the bloody grin. Screeching pain devoured his insides, and he was leaving; rising. Somewhere along the line it had started to rain again, but quietly; mournfully, and he watched himself get up and smile, as he floated helplessly above. He watched his own figure retreat, the sound of his heels echoing fainter and fainter, until there was nothing else but the blue cobblestones, and the tall blue buildings. Laughing. He jerked awake, and couldn’t stop from shaking. *** END, part 17. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC: SORRY Date: 16 May 1998 08:38:04 EDT I'm sooo sorry to disrupt the list, but I think this is a really cool Buffy sounds sight that you should all know about. The Sounds of the Slayer Jaclyn ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:PLEASE HELP! Date: 16 May 1998 08:40:11 EDT Can someone who knows a lot about the internet please help me with a story I'm doing? I'm trying to put a link into my story so that the sound comes up as they open the mail. Thanks! -Jaclyn Amy@aol.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jeff Reid (SpaceMOO Admin)" Subject: OT: Re: BUFFYFIC:PLEASE HELP! Date: 16 May 1998 08:52:04 -0400 (EDT) On Sat, 16 May 1998, Jaclyn Amy wrote: > Can someone who knows a lot about the internet please help me with a story I'm > doing? I'm trying to put a link into my story so that the sound comes up as > they open the mail. Thanks! Sorry for the off-topic post: I wouldn't recommend that. I use Linux and it wouldn't work for me, or at least it would screw up the system. I'm sure it would do the same to other systems too. Is it even possible, though? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: AlysFaire Subject: Re: OT: Re: BUFFYFIC:PLEASE HELP! Date: 16 May 1998 09:15:43 EDT In a message dated 98-05-16 08:54:01 EDT, jeff@vv.carleton.ca writes: << On Sat, 16 May 1998, Jaclyn Amy wrote: > Can someone who knows a lot about the internet please help me with a story I'm > doing? I'm trying to put a link into my story so that the sound comes up as > they open the mail. Thanks! Sorry for the off-topic post: I wouldn't recommend that. I use Linux and it wouldn't work for me, or at least it would screw up the system. I'm sure it would do the same to other systems too. Is it even possible, though?>> Hmm, not an expert by any means, but I agree with Jeff, I think it would mess things up. I've seen fic done (not Buffy) posted on a _webpage_ with sounds embedded, that you have to click on to get the wav. (Which was really cool, btw). :-) But I think you'd have to send it as an attached file in a list, wouldn't you? Alys ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nothoney@olg.com (slb) Subject: Re: OT: Re: BUFFYFIC:PLEASE HELP! Date: 16 May 1998 09:37:19 -0400 At 09:15 AM 5/16/98 -0400, AlysFaire wrote: >I've seen fic done (not Buffy) posted on a _webpage_ with sounds >embedded, that you have to click on to get the wav. (Which was really cool, >btw). :-) But I think you'd have to send it as an attached file in a list, >wouldn't you? Yes, and that would be bad. In fact, I believe that's against the list rules. Sheryl NotHoney@olg.com Ravenette~Slayerette~Discoverer~BBFC "Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat." Spike, BTVS Moo: A Fan Fiction Zine http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3063 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jill Kirby Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC:PLEASE HELP! Date: 16 May 1998 08:43:37 -0500 (CDT) At 08:40 AM 5/16/98 EDT, Jaclyn Amy wrote: >Can someone who knows a lot about the internet please help me with a story I'm >doing? I'm trying to put a link into my story so that the sound comes up as >they open the mail. Thanks! This would be a Bad Thing. The sound would come across as an attached file, and that's against the list rules. Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel That would be Methos. But, then, everything's Methos. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC: Change(1/1) Date: 16 May 1998 09:43:39 EDT TITLE: Change 1/1 AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMER: I own none of the Buffy characters or the Buffy Sounds sight. SUMMARY: Buffy’s thoughts as she sees the library after the vamps trashed it in Becoming Part 1. RATING: PG-mild language SPOILERS: None. FEEDBACK: PLEASE! Do it privately to Jaclyn Amy@aol.com, not to the whole list. Thanks. "This isn’t about you. This was never about you." No! No, not again! (I started running.) Please, let them be there, still practicing the ritual when I return. Let Xander make wise cracks, Cordelia make fun of them, Willow research some prophesy, Giles have his nose in a book, and Kendra guarding all of them. Don’t make them suffer for my mistakes. Don’t let them die because I was careless. Don’t take them away from me because I was selfish. //Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.// Change. One night, one decision, one careless mistake: all change your life so drastically. I never saw it coming. But I should have. I should have seen the dangers. I should have seen the consequenses. I should have known not to leave them alone. I should have remembered. Last time was a warning. Everything turned out fine. I saved the day after almost completely distroying it. I had another chance. This time was real. There are no second chances, no mercy, no hope. Angel, Angelus, whoever the hell he is right now-he’s won. He’s killed me. Maybe not physically, but emotionally I’m gone. Xander was right; I wanted to get my boyfriend back. Look where its got me. Giles, Cordelia, and Xander are gone. I’m not even sure if the vamps were the ones to take them. Willow is probably under the book case. And Kendra…" (I dove onto the floor.) //So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.// Kendra! Oh God, Kendra! Damnit! I should be the one lying dead on the floor, not you. It’s not your fault. It’s not fair to you; you couldn’t have known. If life was fair though, I’d be dead and you’d be alive. One decision, one mistake. That’s all it took to kill Jenny, to kill her, to kill me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from tonight, it’s that one moment can change your entire life. Or worse yet, it can change somebody else’s. I can’t look back on what I did and torture myself. I have to look forward, think about what to do next. No matter what I do, she’s dead. The only thing I can do now is to make sure this can’t happen again. I know I can’t control the big moments. I have to know how to react. I need to- "FREEZE!" //You’ll see what I mean.// The End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISREGARD THE MESSAGES SORRY AND PLEASE HELP Date: 16 May 1998 09:45:47 EDT Please disregard the messages sorry and please help if you have not already read them. I have just reread the list rules, and they do not abide by them. Please do not read them. Thanks. -Jaclyn ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Section 3, Article 1 (1/1) Date: 16 May 1998 12:53:51 -0400 Title:Section 3, Article 1 Author: Northlight e-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca Thanks: Leslie Summery: Buffy tells her mother that she's the Slayer. Disclaimer: They aren't mine. "Mom?" whispered Buffy, crouching beside her mother. "Are you alright?" Joyce Summers looked at her daughter with wide, frantic eyes. She still looked terrified, Buffy noted. Not that big a shock, all considered. "Buffy?" Joyce gasped in return. Joyce looked so small, and so very lost. "What happened? What was that--- that thing?" Buffy winced slightly. Buffy wasn't prepared for this, but she suspected that she never would be. After all, how did one go about telling her mother that she was the Vampire Slayer? But Joyce deserved to know the truth. She deserved to finally have her answers. Buffy couldn't keep endangering her mother's life by keeping her secret any longer. A guilty look at the gash across her mother's face assured Buffy of her decision to tell her mother everything. Buffy cleared her throat nervously and moved to sit next to Joyce on the couch. "Mom," Buffy began uncertainly, "this is kind of hard, but I have something that I have to tell you." Joyce nodded reassuringly and then winced as her head began pounding with renewed strength. She felt horrible, not that she was about to tell Buffy that. She had waited and wondered long enough, and Joyce wasn't about to let the fact that she felt a step away from death stop her from hearing this. "Well... you see... I'mtheSlayer,Islayvampiresandotherthings," Buffy gasped out. 'There, that wasn't so hard.' Buffy's hurried confession was met by a blank look. "What was that, Buffy?" 'Damn!' Buffy took a deep breath and consciously slowed down. "I'm the Chosen One. That meaning I... well, I slay vampires and... things." Joyce blinked. Once. Twice. "I see." "You do!?" Joyce nodded. "If you didn't want to tell me then you didn't have to, Buffy. I'd rather that you didn't feel the need to lie to me." 'And damn again!' Buffy thought, slightly put out. She had finally revealed her secret to her mother, and she didn't believe her! 'Ok, fine. I can understand that. Slaying is a hard thing to accept.' Another deep breath and Buffy was ready to try again. "It's true, mom. I'm the Slayer. And that thing that attacked you," Buffy's hand blindly reached out towards her mother's, "was a demon. Not a drug addict, a demon. And I killed it." Joyce didn't know what to believe. Demons? Chosen One? Vampires? It seemed so unreal. But that would explain so many things... 'Wait a minute!' Joyce thought suddenly, 'my daughter fighting demons! My baby! She could be killed! Ohmygod!' Seeing the look of motherly terror filling Joyce's eyes, Buffy gathered that she had been believed. 'That's a relief! No more groundings or lectures!' "I won't allow this!" Joyce exclaimed, her hand clutching at Buffy's with a desperate strength. Buffy sighed. 'Great. From one problem to another.' She snickered softly as she thought of what Giles would do if she came in one day with a note from her mother stating that her Slaying activities would no longer be allowed. "Don't worry mom," Buffy said, now the one reassuring. "I can take care of myself. I've faced tons of vampires and demons and things, and I'm still here." 'Except for that one close call that she really doesn't need to hear about...' "Buffy..." "It's fine mom!" Buffy stated confidently. "See, look at this." Buffy pulled out a stake, and proceded to dazzle her mother with the moves that had been the destruction of more than a fair share of vampires. Joyce looked at Buffy with tearing eyes. "Oh Buffy!" she sobbed suddenly, the terrors and revelations of the night finally hitting her. Buffy moved towards her mother and wrapped her arms around her. She held Joyce in her arms until the woman fell to sleep. ***** Buffy woke up slowly, mildly confused. 'Something happened last night...' she thought trying to shake the memories free of her sleep clouded mind. 'Mom! She was attacked and I told her everything!' Buffy sighed in contentment. Life was good. Her mother was alright and no longer thought that she was a rebellious trouble maker. The Slayer rolled off the couch on which she had spent an uncomfortable night and padded towards the kitchen. She peeked into the room. Joyce was sitting at the table, the newspaper spread out before her as she munched on her toast. "Morning, mom," Buffy smiled as she came into the room. She quickly buttered her own piece of toast and dropped down at the other chair at the table. A quick glance towards her mother revealed that the gash from last night had been bandaged. Joyce caught her daughter's glance and raised a hand towards the bandage. "I suppose you must be wondering about this," she said much to Buffy's shock. "I dropped my mirror last night, and a piece of it nicked me as it flew by." "Mom?!" Buffy gasped. "I'm fine, Buffy," Joyce quickly reassured. Buffy shook her head, looking at Joyce with wide eyes. "Don't you remember?" "Remember what?" Joyce questioned. "What we talked about last night!" Buffy burst out. Joyce looked mildly surprised at Buffy's question and for a moment Buffy thought that her mother had just been joking. That hope was dashed a moment later. "Of course I do! Though I'm surprised that you brought it up again. And yes, you are still grounded. I warned you what would happen if you came in late again, Buffy-- Buffy?" Buffy pushed her chair back and stood up, looking queasy. "Um... yeah. Gotta go. Love you." With that Buffy sprinted from the room, leaving her mother staring after her in confusion. ******* "Giles!" Buffy cried out as she barreled into the library. "Buffy?" he replied from among the shelves. He emerged a moment later, his gaze curious. Taking in her disheveled appearance, the look in his eyes turned to concern, "are you alright?" Buffy nodded, "I'm fine, Giles. But my mom isn't. She's possessed or something! There must be some sort of demon that causes memory lapses, right? Right!?" "Calm down, Buffy!" Giles reprimanded, "what did your mother forget?" "I told her everything last night, and now she doesn't remember any of it!" "Oh." Giles said simply, a total lack of anything approaching worry in his tone. "Oh! Is that all you have to say?" Buffy demanded, her nerves fraying. "It's nothing to worry about, Buffy," Giles said calmly as he moved towards his office. He emerged a moment later, a book in his hand. "The reason is right here." Buffy looked at the book curiously, Giles calm manner soothing her panic. "What is that?" "This is the Slayer's Handbook." "And that explains what happened to my mom?" Giles nodded and flipped through the book. "Here we are," he murmured. "Section 3, Article 1." He scanned the page and motioned for Buffy to sit down. "This is something that was done to ensure that the Watcher and Slayer would receive no interference from the Slayer's parents. Parents who are capable of dealing with their daughter's destiny are told of it. That saves everybody from much trouble. But those parents who can not handle such a destiny for their child remain incapable of grasping the truth, even if it is spelled out to them in detail." Buffy gaped at Giles and then groaned, her head dropping down into her crossed arms on the table. "Great. Now I'm never going to be able to get out of being grounded." "It's for the best, Buffy." "Sure it is." End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" -- (1/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:09:59 EDT Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Lyrics are by Semisonic, from "Closing Time". Notes: Takes place, oh, I dunno. Around the close of the school year, weekend of junior year's Spring Fling. Archiving/distribution: Not without my permission, please. Comments: YES! To KylenRevik@aol.com, please! Misc: Some strong language. ~ "Every New Beginning" //Closing time, every new beginning Comes from some other beginning's end.// -"Closing Time", Supersonic "...Xander?" Xander looked at Buffy for a long moment, the stun and shock on his face matching that on hers. He swallowed. "Oh boy." Swallowed again. "Did we...?" Buffy's finders rested lightly on her lips as she stared at him. "I..." He shook his head. "Oh boy," he said again. "I didn't--" "Me neither--" He stared at her for a long moment, then his eyes fell to the floor, a blush creeping into his cheeks and the back of his neck heating up. Events of the past few moments replayed themselves over and over in his mind, right up to the moment she tripped and given that little yelp, and he'd caught her-- and they had kissed. From the silence, he could tell she was doing the same. They had been on the way back to her place from a night of Slaying and Bronzing, and it was so late. And she'd tripped on the steps and he'd caught her, and somehow their lips had touched as she'd gasped and he'd yelped, and then...and then he'd experienced the most amazing, wonderful kiss of his life. Then he'd realized what he was doing, at the same moment she had. They had jerked apart and now they were still staring awkwardly at one another. "Buffy," he whispered, "I--" She shook her head. "Not your fault," she murmured. "I should go inside." He swallowed and nodded, then took a step back as she walked into her house and shut the door. The door closed softly, making almost no noise at all, and she was gone. * Lying on his bed later that night, Xander rested his head on his hands and stared at the ceiling. It was two in the morning and he had no idea of how he was going to deal with this when he woke up. If he fell asleep in the first place. Because he had to see her the next day. With that realization, Xander moaned and curled up a little more on his bed, wishing a large hole would open up in his floor and suck him in. This was the Hellmouth. It could happen. Maybe he should have just let her trip, he thought. Then there would have been no kiss. Then everything would be just peachy-keen fine. Things were _so messed up_, he sighed. How was he supposed to go to school the next day and see her? After he'd _kissed_ her?! Not that kissing her had been a bad thing, but still...this was just going to complicate everything. Just when he thought he might be getting over her, she had to go and slip so they would kiss. He sighed. This sucked. It would have been okay if only there had just been an awkward moment. And almost-kissing moment. But no, their lips had to go and actually touch. And since both their mouths had been open when contact had occurred, their tongues were also involved in the equation. Now he was going to have to go _face_ her. On top of that, he was exhausted. Rolling over to face the wall, Xander somehow managed to fall asleep. * The next morning, Xander was downing a glass of OJ and on his way to the door when the doorbell rang. He jumped slightly, then moved to the doorway. "Yeah?" "_Xan_der!" came an impatient shriek. Xander paled. Cordelia-- he'd forgotten! She was picking him up to go to school, and he was barely even awake! He sighed, looking down at his wrinkled clothes. Looked like this was gonna have to be it, then. "Cordie?" he asked as he pulled the door open, to reveal his girlfriend standing on the front porch in a short sea-green dress. "Would you _hurry up_?" Cordelia snapped. "We're gonna be _late_!" "Hurrying, yeah," he said, turning to grab his backpack up from where he'd dumped it the night before on his way in. He followed her out to her car. She was standing by the driver's side door, waiting in the drizzling rain. Xander sighed, then walked around and opened the door for her. She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. When he flinched away, she frowned. "Xander?" she asked. "What's with you?" Xander shook his head, his lips tingling where they'd touched Cordelia's. Burning. "Nothing," he sighed, moving back around the passenger side. Cordelia's expression didn't change as she started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Not meeting her eyes, Xander buckled himself into the passenger seat. A few seconds later, he cleared his throat. "Cordie?" he asked, "mind if I turn on the radio?" She shrugged. "Go for," she said. "Just not any of that, you know, dorky nerdy stuff you like." "Hey!" he objected., reaching for the radio dial. "Elvis is _not_ dorky." "Like, what_ever_," Cordelia said, keeping her eyes on the road. "He's _dead_." "No he's not." "Then he's undead and Buffy can shove a stake through his heart," Cordelia muttered as Xander found a good station and let the music play. Semisonic was on the radio, "Closing Time" emanating from the speakers. //Closing time, time for you to go out To the places you will be from.// Cordelia shook her head, turning on the windshield wipers as the rain picked up a bit. "This song makes no sense," she said. "Sure it does," Xander replied. "Makes plenty of sense." "Then explain it," she dared, shooting him a half-smirk. He paused a moment, then nodded, accepting the challenge. "Okay," he said, "here goes. It's about these people who are...well, they don't have any place to be." She raised an eyebrow. "You think?" He nodded. "Yeah. They're searching for something. A place to belong, people to love them. It's about how nobody's happy where they are because they need something...more." Cordelia shot him a sideways glance. "Overanalyze much?" she asked. "Nah," he said, looking over at her. "I mean...think about it. It's true. Every new beginning you get, something else has to die for you to get it. Whether it be a person or a career or a relationship..." "Are you saying you want to break up with me?!" Cordelia said, suddenly slamming her foot down on the breaks. Xander reached his hands out, bracing himself on the dashboard as whiplash struck with a vengeance. "Because," she said, looking over at him, "I am _not_ about to get dumped by _you_-- if anybody is doing any dumping here, _I_--" She broke off when Xander shook his head. "No," he said, though the memory of what he'd done the night before with Buffy was haunting the edges of his mind. He swallowed, shaking his head again, and finding himself somehow unable to _stop_ shaking his head. *Cut it out, nutcase!* his mind yelped, *before she suspects something! Smile and nod! Smile and nod!* "I'm not gonna break up with you, Cordie." The smile was weak. The nod was weaker. "So long as that's straight," she said, pressing on the gas pedal to get the car moving. "But back to the song," he said. "The people...just don't have anywhere else to be. So they get together in this bar and stay till they have to leave." "They're in a bar?" "I heard it on the radio." "Stuck in a bar. Major bummer," Cordelia said as the car pulled into the school parking lot. She parked the car, then flashed him a smile. "I'm free sixth," she said. "meet you--" "--in the janitor's closet by the aud. Yeah." Without saying anything more, Xander pushed the car open and walked into the building through the rain, not letting him think about all the complicated thoughts that were floating around uninvited through his mind. * Watching from her car as her boyfriend walked away, Cordelia frowned. Xander was definitely bummed. And what had been with that whole thing about the song? It was just music, jeez. She sighed, sticking her keys in her purse, then walking into the school building. Xander was nowhere to be seen, though. Great. She wondered if it was something she'd said. Then she sighed. She had class with Buffy in two periods, maybe she could ask the other if she had any idea of what was up with Xander. * "You _kissed_ her?" Willow exclaimed, only to have Xander slap a hand over her mouth a moment later. "Mmm-mmphhmm!" "I didn't _mean_ to kiss her!" Xander yelped. "And you don't have to say it so _loudly_!" Willow swallowed, nodded, and motioned for him to take his hand away from her lips so she could speak. "But--" she started when he did, "But you told Cordelia, right?" He gave her a _look_. "You serious?" he asked. "Of course I am, I mean, you, you can't just not _tell_ her, can-- can you?" Willow was staring at him in something akin to horror, and Xander had to admit that he didn't like the expression at all. He sighed and shook his head. "I can't _tell_ her," he said. "I mean, I didn't mean to do it, and I don't think Buffy's about to, you know, go around screaming that she and I shared some kind of special moment on her porch--" "A _moment_?" "Huh?" Xander stared at her for a few seconds, trying to decide what exactly the look on Willow's face meant. "You have to tell Cordelia," Willow said. "This is like, you know, cheating or something." "No it's not!" he objected. "This is _nothing_ like cheating!" "Just a little bit," Willow said. "I mean, it's not like you, you guys were, you know..." She trailed off, leaving the idea of what he knew to his imagination, before picking up again. "You have to at least talk to her about it." She paused a moment. "Or to Buffy, you could talk to her." "About what?" "What you're going to do about it." "What am I supposed to do about it? Act like it never happened?" Xander was about to say more, but fell silent when he saw the expression on Willow's face. He turned his own gaze on the floor, not looking at her. "Will...you know how I feel about her, I can't just...I don't know if I _want_ to just dismiss this." "But you-- you're going out with Cordelia!" "But..." "Xander," Willow said, and her voice had gone so soft that Xander found he had to look at her in order to make out her words. "You can't lie to her. Not if you love her." "But..." He shook his head. "It's not that simple." A sigh. "I mean..." "What?" "Buffy. I love her, or lust for her, whatever you want to call it." He straightened slightly. "But at the same time, it's...I care about Cordie, too, so I can't really just tell her to book it, besides, Buff's not ready for any kind of relationship, not after everything with Angel, you know, so it wouldn't really be something that would even work out." "But," Willow interrupted, "if you don't tell Cordie, then aren't you sort of lying to her about how you, you know, how you feel?" "Maybe," Xander sighed, slouching again. He shook his head, looking up and speaking quickly. "But not really, 'cause I _do_ care about her, just not in quite the same way I care about Buffy." Willow nodded, staying silent now. "You're not gonna tell her, are you," she said. Xander shook his head. "Nope," he replied. He looked at her a long moment. "Will...you're not gonna say anything to her, are you? I mean, I'll get this all worked out with Buffy and I know she won't want to say anything, but--" "I won't say anything," Willow replied. Xander breathed a sigh of relief, giving her hand a squeeze. "You're a dream, Will, an absolute dream." She smiled weakly as he let her go, then turned and backed out of the room. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" -- (2/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:13:22 EDT See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ Willow watched in silence as Xander left, feeling like she had something to say, something more to tell him, and yet somehow not knowing what on earth she _could_ say that would ever make any difference. What was there to tell him? That she knew how he felt? And that if she had her way, he would dump Cordelia and forget about Buffy so he could be with her? No, she wouldn't. Because she'd decided weeks ago that she wasn't going to think like that anymore. Because now she had Oz, and she loved him. And he loved her back, which was the more important part of the equation. She and Xander had never had an equation between them. Just sort of scattered numbers that never seemed to add up. But...she couldn't believe what he'd just told her. That he was going to talk to Buffy and "straighten things out", then turn around and keep going on with Cordelia as though nothing had happened at all. All through school, they had known Cordelia, or thought they had. And it was only in the last half year that she'd begun to deepen and become more of a friend and less of someone to make horrible fun of. Only last week, she'd confided in Willow and Buffy that she really did care about Xander, more than she'd thought possible. Listening to that had hurt more than Willow had expected. She shook her head. But she had Oz now, so she didn't need to keep mooning over Xander. She just wished he would stop watching Buffy and realize _what it was he had_ with Cordelia. Because from day one, ever since Willow had known him, Xander had been the kind who wanted something up until the point he got it-- and then he started wanting more. For once, she wanted him to figure out that what he had, though it wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd want, was worth it. That he didn't need to start roaming. She didn't think he had any idea of how much it would hurt Cordelia to find out he still had the hots for Buffy. She herself wasn't so sure. She knew it would be bad, though, and that she wouldn't want to be around for the fallout. It was for that reason, and not for any of the reasons Xander had brought up, that Willow finally came to peace with the decision not to tell Cordelia what had happened. * "Buffy!" Xander called, walking into the library, "we need to talk." Buffy looked up from where she was standing, pouring over a book with Giles, her expression going blank when she realized who it was that had called her name. She smiled weakly. "Um, okay," she said. "Giles, s'it okay if we use your office?" Giles looked from Buffy to Xander, and from the expression, Xander had the feeling Buffy might have, oh, told him about the previous night. He sighed. Wonderful. Then he flashed the Watcher a smile as he followed the Slayer into the library office. "Buffy," he began, before she had the chance to speak. "Xander," she cut him off, "I've been thinking. And about last night, well, I think we should just dismiss it as being seriously late and the middle of exams and put it behind ourselves, because, let's face it, you and me would never work out. I think you're a really great guy, and you're an awesome friend, but that's _all_ I think of you as because we just don't seem to be, you know, people who'd be anything more than that. And," she continued without taking a breath, "more than that, I think we should think about how getting involved with each other would hurt the other people in our lives, like you know, Cordelia, because you two have a _very good thing_ going, and you don't need to screw that up at all, and that reminds me of another thing, which is that I don't think we should even, you know, tell anybody else about that, though I did maybe mention it to Giles because I needed his advice on how to handle this, because even though you're actually a better kisser than I thought, it's the kind of thing that could hurt Cordie if she found out, and well, it seems sort of like a stupid thing to do if we're just going to not follow up on it anyway, which we're not, because I don't think of you that way and I really don't think I ever will, even though it's not you, 'cause it's me, 'cause ever since everything went down with Angel I'm just so _totally_ not up for the whole relationship thing, but even if that _hadn't_ happened, you're still, you know, one of my best friends, and getting involved with best friends is always such a seriously bad idea...you know?" Finishing the rather extensive ramble, Buffy turned on a smile and fixed it on him. *Good,* Xander thought, a wave of relief crashing over him. *Except then again, she could be a little more reluctant to not do anything-- even if I don't want to do anything, which I don't, 'cause I've got Cordie.* Though some small part of him protested the ease with which she was dismissing the kiss, he nodded. "Gotcha. Agreed. Glad we had this chat. Later!" Then he turned and walked out of the office, waving to Giles on his way out. Giles turned toward the office just in time to see a rather flustered Buffy emerge. "So," he asked, "how did it go?" Buffy smiled wearily. "The monologue?" She shrugged. "Better than I thought it would." She shook her head dismissively. "Now, what were we looking over?" * "Shit!" "What?" "We're supposed to be in the library!" "But it's only--" "I know!" "Think they'll mind if we're a little late?" "Ten minutes." "Agreed." "Cool." "Mmmm...Xander?" "Yeah?" "What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong." "Something's wrong. You're distracted." "No I'm not." "You seem distracted." "Well, I'm not." "If you say so." "I say so." "Well, you don't need to snap." "I didn't snap!" "Yes, you did!" "No I-- Mmph! Cordelia?!" "Well, you're cute when you snap." ~ More to come, comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude #9: "Confusing Revelations" --Ingrid Date: 16 May 1998 23:14:10 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy, Giles, Cordelia, Spike, Xander, Drusilla, Willow, Angel & co. are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: We’ve returned to Angel and Buffy outside in the sun… STORY INFO: This series is meant as a companion to "Reunion." (The flashbacks take place about 9 years beforehand.) If you haven’t read "Reunion," this won’t make much sense to you. If you don’t have parts 1-16 of it, you can write to me and request them. "Reunion" Interlude # 9: "Confusing Revelations" by Ingrid He felt the soft folds of her sweatshirt as he caught her by the arms and then a corresponding rip of pain in his shoulders. He nearly dropped her. He’d *never* felt anything like it. It was burning. He was in the sun, and he could feel the flames licking at his arms; singeing. He needed run back inside; to drag her back into the darkness, but something was keeping him there. He couldn’t leave. So this was the sun from so long ago. It was redder than he’d remembered; huge. His head was throbbing. She was trying to get up now, and he waited, took a gulp, and looked at his arms. They were untouched, soft and pale as ever. But his skin itched and burned. He could feel it. Why wasn’t he burning? Why- "Ohmygod. Angel!" She tried to push him back inside, but he wouldn’t budge. She couldn’t see any flames. He had his eyes closed, as if he were asleep, but with a tremendous nightmare. He was gritting his teeth in pain. "You’re not- You were crying. You can’t cry." "No. I can’t." The words came out softly, a revelation on his lips. He didn’t have to say anything. She knew. And it couldn’t be real- How could it be real? They helped each other upright, struggling to steady one another. He wasn’t looking at her deceptively like he had when they’d first met, but met her eyes with equal confusion. Fright, even. "You’re human." The words sounded juvenile and hopelessly obvious, but they grounded them both, establishing what they’d seen as reality. They struck her with their meaning, and she grabbed him with all her slayer’s strength times ten. She felt him choke suddenly and she loosened her grip. "Sorry." She paused. "How does it feel?" she ventured, looking up at his face. "I feel like I’m burning," he admitted, squinting against the bright rays. "God. Maybe we should get you inside." "Ya know, as much as I’m enjoying this burning thing, I think you’re right." She rolled her eyes and offered her shoulder for him to lean on as they hobbled back into the apartment. He groaned in pain as he sat down on the bed, rubbing the wound on his face lightly. She pulled his hand away. "Don’t touch that." "It hurts." "That’s exactly why you shouldn’t touch it. Do you think it’s gonna get better if you keep doing that?" And then something else dawned. His injuries. They should have been gone by now. She’d healed so much more than he had. It was strange seeing him like this. He looked truly shaken, as if he didn’t believe what was going on at all. She was going to mention the injuries, but he looked nervous enough, sitting there, obsessing over the bruise near his eye, more like a lost little boy than anything else. Later, she decided. They’d have time to discuss this later. For now, he needed to heal. He needed rest. She patted his shoulder. "Come on, Angel. You should sleep." He looked at her like she was speaking a language he didn’t understand. God, he was out of it. Realizing that talking wasn’t going to get her anywhere, she eased him down on the bed and pulled the covers up over both of them. He reached out for her and held her to his chest like a favorite stuffed animal. Finally contented, he let his eyelids droop and he drifted off. She remained awake for some time before joining him. *** END, #9 _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" (3/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:16:57 EDT See part one for notes and disclaimers. COmments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ Her heels skidded on the floor as Cordelia came to a stop inside the library, just behind Xander, still trying to put her hair back up in her ponytail holder. She took in the scene around the room. Giles was at the desk, checking in books that had been returned-- actually working as a _librarian_, for once in the time she'd known him. She grinned to herself. Great. Then she glanced at Buffy, who was curled up with some novel in the corner, and Willow, who was doing her homework. Maybe she and Xander shouldn't have hurried, she thought when she realized nobody was looking up. She sighed. The noise caught the attention of the rest of the people in the room, and Buffy glanced right at her. Cordelia was surprised when the other girl's eyes dropped immediately to the floor. So now she wasn't even worth enough to meet eyes with? She sighed. And here she'd thought maybe they were finally beginning to understand her. But then again, nobody else ever had, so why should these guys? "You two certainly took your time getting here," she heard Giles say from across the room. "Yeah, well," Xander's said. "We got kinda busy." Cordelia felt a blush creeping into her cheeks. Not something she was used to, having a boyfriend who blurted out what they'd been doing when she was standing right there. Usually, they waited till she was out of sight, and then told their friends. At least Xander told the _truth_, she thought with a hint of contentedness. "I'll bet you did," Willow said, her voice showing a slight smirk from across the room where she was doing her math homework. "At any rate," Giles said, "it turns out there's no need for a meeting this afternoon." "Great," Cordelia chirped. "So," Xander said to break the silence that was becoming heavy a moment later, "if there's no need for a meeting, we can go?" Giles nodded. "Exactly." There was another long pause, and the only sound anyone could make out was that of Buffy turning the pages of her novel and Willow's pencil scratching the paper she was writing her homework on. "Hey," Cordelia said, "what is _with_ you guys?" "Wha?" Buffy said, looking up. "Nothing!" Xander said quickly. Cordelia looked over at him, shaking her head. "No," she said. "This is...weird. You guys never just sit around doing nothing, you're always talking about a bunch of stuff, and..." She trailed off when she saw the way they were all staring at her. Okay, so now she was the babbling lunatic. She sighed. "Never mind," she said. Then she looked at Xander. "You want a ride home?" she asked. He grinned at her, looking slightly nervous. "Sure," he said. "C'mon, then," she said. He nodded and followed her out of the room. * "He didn't tell her, did he," Giles said, after a few moments of silence. Buffy shook her head. "No," she said. "We kind of agreed. It wouldn't be good for Cordie. If she knew." "Yeah," Willow piped up quietly. All three looked at each other for a few seconds, then as though they were working from one mind, each returned his or her attention back to the work they'd been doing before Xander and Cordelia had appeared. * "So," Cordelia said, "there was this whole thing going in Painting, because some kid was talking about Dali and..." Xander found himself not listening as Cordelia chatted about her day. He found himself not caring, either. About anything past the fact that he was now lying to her, which was not a good thing, but it wasn't as though he wanted her to know, either. Seemed as though there should be some sort of middle ground, from his perspective, at least. It wasn't that he _wanted_ to lie to her, and wasn't her happiness supposed to be more important? But maybe that wasn't the case at all, and maybe he should try the whole honesty gig. It wasn't as though he stood to lose anything, because he could honestly tell her that he'd rather be with her on a long-term basis than with Buffy, and that was probably what she'd want to hear. "It was like, _no_, you _idiot_, Dali was _not_ a realist..." He was only peripherally aware of her speech, paying more attention to how he himself was thinking about things than how she wanted him to react to her words. What did he know. He knew he wanted to be able to stay with her. He knew he wanted to be able to look her in the eye. He'd sort of prefer that she not dump him, and he'd like it if the awkward silence that had occurred in the library didn't become some sort of permanent fixation in their relationship. He'd also, he had to admit, like to get this off his chest. But no matter how he sliced things, it all came back to what Buffy had pointed out: that finding out her boyfriend had kissed somebody else might really upset Cordelia, and so long as both of them had no intentions of pursuing a relationship, which neither of them did, then there shouldn't be any harm in simply not mentioning it to Cordie, 'cause she'd be fine and that was all there was to it, was it not? Okay, then, he wasn't going to tell her. Because it was a need-to-know sort of thing, even though Giles and Willow probably hadn't needed to know, but they were acting as confidants so that was okay. Cordelia _definitely_ did not need to know, and since he'd already used Willow as the place where he'd been unburdening his soul, then he didn't have to worry about feeling obligated to say anything whatsoever, did he. No, he told himself, he did not. "Xander, are you even paying attention to me?" "Cordie, I kissed Buffy last night." His eyes widened the second the words were past his lips, and he gulped as Cordelia slammed on the breaks, pulling them over in barely the blink of an eye. She didn't say anything at first, though. Just sat and stared, her eyes aimed straight ahead, and her jaw hanging open. After a few seconds, when Xander was beginning to wonder if he'd given her a heart attack or something, though he didn't think those happened often in girls who kept in shape like Cordie did, she whispered incredulously: "_What_?" Slowly, as though she were so horrified she was having a hard time controlling the movement of her own body, her head turned so she was facing him. He swallowed, wincing. He hadn't meant to say it, he'd made a deal with himself that he _wasn't_ going to say it! *Stupid _mouth_!* his brain yelled. *Why did you have to open up and let _that_ come out?! Idiot!* His lips again ignored the signals coming from his brain, and he heard himself saying, "did I say I kissed Buffy? I meant-- I meant I, um, I missed stuffy. Being stuffy. I-- I...had a stuffy nose last week?" He nodded decisively. *Brilliant, cheeseball,* his mind snapped. Cordelia was staring at him, disbelief in her expression. "You _kissed_ her?" she asked. "I..." He looked at her, then swallowed. "I might have." "Like, on the lips?" "There may have been...a...slight...amount. Of lip to lip contact. Possibly." He was sounding more and more pathetic by the second, he realized, and if he wasn't damned lucky, Cordelia was going to wind up kicking his rather uncomfortable ass right out of her car. "I..." She trailed off, just staring at him, then shook her head. "I can't believe this." "Okay," he said quickly. "You don't have to believe it, that's okay, we can, you know, just not believe it and move on. Right?" The look on her face told him no, it wasn't going to be that easy. He sighed. "Cordie," he sighed, "it wasn't like, you know, a big kiss. It was just..." "Just a lip-kiss." She shook her head. "And that's why you guys have all-- Oh my _god_, you've _all_ been acting so weird...you told _Willow_ and _Giles_ about this?!" He shook his head. "No, just Willow, I think Buffy might have told Giles, though." Cordelia was shaking her head slowly, her fingers wound around the car's steering wheel. Xander realized, then, that her knuckles had turned white while they'd been speaking, just since he'd broken the news. *No,* his mind corrected itself, *since your stupid _mouth_ broke the news.* Well, okay then, since his mouth broke the news. He sighed. "Cordelia, I'm sorry." "Yeah, well, maybe you should be. And maybe you should walk home." Xander raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?" She shook her head. "Xander, leave. Okay? Now." "But we're in the middle of no..." He trailed off, realizing how shaken she was when she reached out and flipped the radio on in mid-sentence, then started hitting buttons on the car's CD player. "Okay," he said. "I'm going." *See what you did now?* his mind asked as he climbed out of the car and moved to the side of the road as Cordelia drove away. *Yeah,* he thought softly. *I see.* ~ More to come. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" -- (4/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:23:59 EDT All disclaimers and notes can be found in part one. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ "That little _skank_!" Harmony hissed. Cordelia bit her lip, shaking her head. "No, I mean, I didn't- -" "She kissed your _boyfriend_?!" Kate yelped. "I didn't--" "What a total _bitch_," Ambrosia interjected, snapping her gum. "I mean, it's not like Xander's any kind of, you know, like, catch or anything, but _seriously_, that is just _so_ not something you do." Cordelia shook her head again. "It's not so much her that I'm mad at, though--" "But like, the little _whore_ was making a move on your _man_!" "Except he's the one who lied about it!" Cordelia snapped, cutting Harmony off before she had the chance to say anything more. The three other girls stared at her for a long moment in disbelief. Finally, Kate spoke. "Um, excuse _much_, but how do you, like, expect to get him back if you act like it's _his_ fault?" "Get him back?" Cordelia said, quietly. She'd had a handle on this once, she knew, this whole how-to-seduce-the-guy routine, but it was beginning to seem like dating Xander had gotten her completely out of the loop-- and now that she was officially Considering Breaking Up With The Loser, she had to get herself back up to speed. But this didn't feel as though it was quite right, from what Xander had said it wasn't as though Buffy had been trying to seduce him or anything, and-- "_Yes_, get him back!" Ambrosia yelped, jumping to her feet and moving around behind Cordelia to grab another diet soda. "I mean, face it, Cordelia, it's like, totally because you're, you know, not trying to keep hold of him that he's, like, straying, you know?" "Except I--" "And you've so _totally_ got to make an _effort_," Harmony added. "But--" "Cor_del_ia," Kate interrupted, "come _on_. Really, think about it, when did you start losing your grip on him, huh?" Without waiting for a response, the teeny bopper answered her own question. "When you started acting like you didn't _need_ to impress him." She glanced at Harmony. "I mean, did I not _completely_ call this one, or what?" "Yeah, like, totally," Harmony answered. Cordelia looked from one to the other, confused. "Call this one? What are you talking about? Called what?" "How long it would be before you realized just what hanging out with those total _losers_ was going to do to your ability to hold onto a guy," Kate elaborated. "I mean, face it Cordelia, he wanted you 'cause he thought you were a one-way ticket outta loserville, and if you're going to hang with that kind of person, you're gonna be, well, _not_ anymore, you know?" "So the second you started not being cool anymore," Ambrosia chimed in, "it was like, hello, his flight is bumped and you are _so_ not the first-class ticket he wanted anymore." "I'm still popular!" Cordelia protested, giving her two friends an injured look. "Sure you are, but like, not like you _used_ to be," Harmony said, as though she were breaking some huge piece of news. "I mean, you haven't even been paying attention to the _football team_ in like, ages!" "And hanging out in the _library_ all the time like that?" Kate scoffed, sounding disgusted. "Like, totally not where it's at, girl." "You've barely even _talked_ to us in the past month!" Harmony said. *Because you're all completely vapid and infantile!* Cordelia felt like screaming. She caught herself, though, barely in time, and sighed. Of course, they were most likely both right. Look at them. Sitting here smugly 'cause they both had boyfriends and she didn't, and it was their methods that had gotten her Xander in the first place, anyway. Well, that and the fact that he was so darn _cute_ sometimes. When he wasn't being a total rat-bastard. She sighed again, and squirmed slightly when she felt Harmony run a brush through her hair. "What're you do--" "First thing," Harmony informed her, "this ponytail thing has just completely got to _go_. It's like, so five minutes ago." Cordelia swallowed. "I thought you said my hair looked nice when it was up." "Yeah," Harmony said, "but have you like, not showered in six _hours_ or something? It so totally makes your hair look all greasy and like you don't even _wash_ it." She glanced at Ambrosia. "I'm right, right?" Ambrosia nodded sincerely. "Totally." Cordelia sighed. "Hey," Harmony said, "come on, this'll be, like, fun. We'll make you into a whole new Cordelia and you'll be just like you used to be, and you can like, totally not pay attention to that idiot loser." "Okay," Cordelia sighed as Harmony began fussing with a brush and some hair pins, knowing any sort of argument was going to be futile. Of course, there was a little, tiny problem, and one small thought of it managed to slip past the part of her that was in complete denial of the entire situation. *Xander didn't _like_ the old Cordelia.* But, she reminded herself, that was okay. Because neither the old Cordie nor the _new_ Cordie liked him, either. She sighed, wishing that was the truth. * "So, she still hasn't talked to you?" Xander looked up across the lunch table and shook his head. "Nope." Josh shot a sideways grin at Wendell, then looked back to Xander. "Guess that means you're going to the Spring Fling stag this year, huh?" Xander shrugged. "Looks like," he admitted. "Sucks," Wendell said. "You'll live." Xander sighed. "I guess." "Hey," Josh said, nodding toward the doorway to the cafeteria, "here comes the Queen of Sunnydale now." Xander glanced back over his shoulder, shaking his head. "I'm gonna book," he said. "Later, guys." He didn't let himself look at Cordelia as he walked out of the cafeteria. * "So then," Buffy said, her tone one of annoyance, "Harmony just _stepped_ on my shoe." She sighed, looking downward at the dirt stain that had been ground into her white keds. "They're new, too!" "Well," Willow offered, "maybe, you know, the whole grunge thing will come back into fashion?" She smiled weakly, then shook her head at the look of incredulousness that Buffy gave her. "Or not," she admitted. "Why'd she do it?" she asked. "Who _knows_," Buffy said. "Probably PMS or something. Maybe daddy didn't buy her the right shade of lavender bathing suit." Willow giggled, then shook her head. "Cordelia might know...if you guys are currently, you know, speaking." "We're not," Buffy said with a sigh. "Apparently. I saw her this morning and it was like I wasn't even there." "Same here," Willow said with a nod. She pulled the door open as they walked into the building, holding it open while Buffy walked through, then they continued on their way. "I mean," she said quietly, "is it just me, or has she gotten completely antisocial?" "Cordelia? Not antisocial, just not social with _us_ for some reason. "Yeah, that too," Willow said. There was a long silence as the two contemplated, then Buffy spoke. "Oooh!" "What?" Willow asked, her eyes widening. "What's up?" "I just remembered!" Buffy exclaimed, a look of horror coming over her features. "_What_?" Willow pressed. She didn't know what she should expect. End of the world? Apocalypse now? Or later tonight? "The dance!" Buffy shrieked. "I completely forgot about the dance!" "Dance?" "Spring Fling!" Buffy shook her head. "Oh my _god_, Willow, I don't even have a dress, and I'm sure you don't, either, and this-- " She broke off, suddenly going quiet. "And?" Willow asked, her tone almost a hopeful one. Buffy was right, she hadn't given a moment's thought to the upcoming dance. And she was enjoying hearing Buffy get so excited about something, for once in a very long time. But her friend shook her head, and Willow sighed, realizing this wasn't one of those times she was going to be able to push for an answer. "I've got to go," Buffy said quietly. "Talk to Giles." Willow looked at her, concerned. "You okay?" she asked. Buffy nodded, though it was obvious from the way she'd cut herself off a few seconds earlier that the opposite was true. But before Willow could say anything more, Buffy had turned and walked down the hall, too briskly to leave any doubt as to whether or not she wanted to be followed. * "It's Angel," Buffy sighed. "Last year, he saved my life right by the Spring Fling." She shook her head. "And this year, he's been trying to take it." "Exactly." She looked up at her Watcher. "And now this whole mess with Xander and Cordie...have you talked to Cordelia today?" "She hasn't, hasn't stopped by," Giles replied. "Has something happened that I should be aware of?" "They broke up," Buffy said. "Xander told Willow. She told me." She sighed. "Cordelia dumped him." "He told her?" Buffy shrugged. "I don't know the details," she admitted. "Only that I don't like them." She sighed. "So," Giles said. "I've seen the signs about school, for this, this dance, and I-- I assume you're going to, to want the night off?" "I guess," Buffy said with a slight smile. "If you're sure I won't have to patrol." "I haven't seen anything about an increase in vampire activity yet," Giles said with a smile. "I think you can have one night." "Wow," Buffy said, casting her annoyance aside. "Generous mood, huh?" Giles smiled a little. "Apparently so," he replied. "Well, thanks," Buffy said with a smile, "'cause I think I could use one night where I don't have to think about stuff." Then she hopped off the table and walked out of the library, leaving Giles to wonder at the sudden change in her demeanor. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" -- (5/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:31:49 EDT See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ The DJ was spinning disks in the absence of a live band, and the Bronze was afire with activity-- especially that of the dance- floor variety. It seemed like everything was bright, cheerful, fun. Just what the Fling was supposed to be. Except that, well, Xander wasn't having a hell of a lot of fun. Here he was, dressed in decent jeans and a nice t-shirt, hanging out with Conner and Josh and Wendell. All of whom seemed to have this thing for drooling over everything female that walked past them. Not that drooling couldn't be nice, but Xander just wasn't in the _mood_ for the whole gratuitous-saliva thing. Not when he'd seen Cordie walk in an hour ago with her entourage-- which he'd thought she'd dumped long ago-- and a bunch of football jocks. Sure, she looked like she was just about as miserable as he was, but what did that say? Nothing at all, just that she was probably doing the whole pity thing for whichever one of the jocks was hers. He sighed as Conner poked him in the arm. "Hey," he said, "so why are you hanging with us losers tonight instead of the scooby squad?" "Scooby which?" he asked. "Summers and Rosenburg," Conner said. Wendell and Josh exchanged amused looks, then Josh looked over to Conner. "You mean to say you didn't know the whole _reason_ as to why he's here with the chick patrol, instead of the chicks themselves?" "'Cause he cheated on Cordelia," Wendell piped up, and Xander felt his cheeks growing bright red with a mix of embarrassment and shame. "With Buffy herself." "Whoa," Conner said, his eyes going wide. "Impressive, Xander." "Not really," Xander said, shaking his head slightly. But they had a point. What was he doing here, hanging around with guys who he was technically friends with but had little in common with, when his real friends were across the room? His eyes drifted over the crowd to where Buffy and Willow were sitting. With Oz, of course, since the Dingoes weren't playing tonight. "Good point, though," he murmured, standing. "Where's he going?" he heard Josh asking. But he didn't bother stopping to answer. * "On second thought," Cordelia said as she saw Xander making his way toward the table where Buffy and Willow were seated with Oz, "maybe we should just stay here." "I think I like that idea better," Greg said with a nod, turning her back toward the table, where Cordelia let her eyes fall to the table instead of meeting with the eyes of her three so- called friends. She looked gorgeous tonight, that was for sure. And that was mostly because they'd taken four hours helping her get ready. In the short time she'd spent away from "the group", Cordelia was slowly realizing her fashion sense had deteriorated more than she'd thought possible. No matter, she told herself, 'cause she was gonna kick some serious man-ass tonight as far as hooking up went. So far, the plan was working. She'd managed to stake a claim on Greg, who was a football player, and who had seemed moderately interested in her earlier. Who, surprisingly, still seemed slightly interested, despite the way she'd been carrying on all night. "So," Kate said, "you know, it was like, totally--" She giggled as her escort shoved half a sandwich in his mouth, and it was all Cordelia could do to keep from rolling her eyes. "You know," she sighed, "I feel like dancing." Greg looked over at her, then back to the chicken wings he'd been eyeing. "But I thought--" "Come on," Cordelia snapped, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him toward the dance floor. *Damn you, Xander,* she thought as Greg stepped on her foot accidentally, *I'm gonna enjoy myself if I have to sprain my _ankle_ to do it!* * "She looks like she's having a decently good time," Xander said to Willow, being careful not to make eye contact with Buffy as he spoke. "Yeah," Willow said, "I guess, well, she sort of does." "She did look like she was having fun like that when she and I were going out, right?" "Um, yes," Willow said. Then she glanced at Buffy. "Didn't she?" When Xander gave her a _look_, Willow's brow furrowed in a defensive expression. "Well, I was, you know, busy! I didn't pay attention!" Next to her, Oz grinned, patting her shoulder lightly, making Willow relax at his very touch. She smiled over at him, weakly, then glanced back to Xander. "Sorry," she offered weakly. "S'okay," Xander said with a sigh. "I mean, hey, you know, all I wanted to know was whether or not I was worth anything as a boyfriend." "Well I wouldn't know that, now would I?" Willow replied. Behind her and over Xander's shoulder, Buffy and Oz shared a grin before the other two noticed the volume at which they were speaking. Then Buffy tapped Xander on the shoulder, but she was unprepared for the way the young man jumped when her finger made contact. "Chill," she told him. "Just, you know, lower the decibel level before you broadcast it to the creepies." "Creepies?" Xander smiled slightly. "So that's what they're calling themselves these days?" "No, that's what _I'm_ calling them, because it's true and they are. "Well," Xander said, "what if they're not? What if it's just our perception of vampires that make them seem as though they're possibly something resembling creepy, when in reality it's us that are the strange ones and if we had a little more of an open mind about things like what's different, we'd realize that?" "Um..." Buffy managed, just staring at him. "Are you feeling okay?" "Yes," he replied. His gaze moved around the table, taking each of them in turn. "I'm absolutely fine. Just 'cause a guy makes a stupid mistake that screws up one of the best relationships he's ever had-- hell, it's really the only _relationship_ I've ever had, but what does that mean? Does it mean I'm automatically not okay? 'Cause I am, okay, though maybe not automatically. I can see a situation where somebody might _not_ be okay with something like this and you know what?" The other three looked at him, shaking their heads slightly. "I have only just realized in about the last two seconds, how completely not fine I must be with this entire situation if I'm sitting here and rambling to you guys about this instead of, you know, doing something about it out in the real world where it might be vaguely possible for something about anything I've said here to make any kind of difference whatsoever." He sighed, then shook his head and stood. "Excuse me, while I go make an ass of myself," he told them all, not making real eye contact with any of the three. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Every New Beginning" -- (6/6) Date: 16 May 1998 23:35:39 EDT See part one for notes and disclaimers. COmments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ For a moment, Buffy, Willow, and Oz watched motionlessly as Xander moved toward where Cordelia and her Amazing Hulk were doing something that might have been called dancing, somewhere else. Then Oz rose from his stool. "Back in a few," he said, leaning to kiss Willow on the cheek. Then he straightened and went off in the same direction Xander had vanished to. "Xander!" he called, spotting the other teen's head bobbing among the crowd. "Man," he said, taking Xander by the arm and guiding him toward the other end of the room, _away_ from Cordelia and her date, "we have got to _talk_." Xander's brow creased. "Talk?" He shook his head. "What is there to talk about? I see no room for discussion here, get out of my way, this is the time for _groveling_!" Oz nearly took a step back, surprised, then he shook his head. "What're you gonna do, just go--" "I don't know, but I'm thinking something to do with knees and being on them and begging for forgiveness might do the trick." Xander shook his head. "Then again, maybe I should forget that and just go for the direct approach. Cordie, I love you, I was an idiot, forgive me?" Oz shook his head. "Nah. Be cool about it," he said. "Cool." Xander nearly laughed in his face, Oz could tell the other was having a hell of a time keeping the chuckle down. "Yeah, sure, right. Keep cool, easy for you to say, you're not the one who turned around and kissed one of her friends, are you." Oz sighed, shaking his head. Willow had clued him in as to the situation, but from the way she had described it, he had expected Xander to be far more...well, not uncaring, but he certainly hadn't been expecting for the guy to be this upset over how things between he and his girlfriend were going. Then again, Oz himself had never held that high of an opinion of Cordelia, not since she'd dated Devon. Any chick who was into that sort of thing, well, he pretty much figured she was looking for less than standard fare as far as faithful boyfriends went. And given the fact that he now had his own girlfriend, Oz supposed that perhaps his earlier views had been just ever-so-slightly unfair. Maybe, possibly. Either way. He looked at Xander. "So," he said, "since you're not gonna play it cool, then, what's left?" Xander bit his lip. "Good question," he said. Then he shook his head and sighed. "I dunno...I'll think of something." He sighed. "Thanks, though. For stopping me from making an even bigger idiot out of myself than I already have." Oz smiled slightly, not quite sure of what he'd done to help, but willing to take the credit anyway. "Uh, yeah, okay," he replied, and gave Xander a reassuring wave as the other teen walked away. * "So, you know, you think you could do me that favor?" Xander asked, biting his lip and looking at the DJ. The DJ, from one of the local stations Xander never listened to because he was too busy being a Slayerette to have much time for music, nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Sounds like you're in it deep, though." "Past deep," Xander said with a slight, ironic smile. "So far past deep it's like I've entered a whole new level of deepness. And my friend, that is not a good place to be." The DJ nodded with a smile. "Sure," he said. Then he raised an eyebrow. "You ever think about going into radio?" he asked. Xander raised an eyebrow. "Not really, no, how come?" he asked. "'Cause you've got a good voice," the DJ said. "Sincere sounding." He shrugged. "Anyway, yeah, I'll play your song." Xander smiled. "Thanks." Then he turned around and walked away, hanging back by the walls so as not to let Cordelia see him before it was time. * "And this one," the DJ's voice came over the speakers, "is from a guy who's hurt the woman he loves a lot, and he wants her to know he's sorry. He cares about her more than he knows how to say, and wishes there were some way he could take back what he's done. Since that's impossible, right now he's just hoping she'll be able to find it in her heart to forgive him." Cordelia frowned as the opening strains of that song she and Xander had heard in the car the other day came over the Bronze's speakers, feeling a sharp twist in her gut. Stupid song, and he'd had to go and make up some stupid soliloquy about how meaningful it was. Well, it didn't mean anything at all. "Hey, Cordie?" Greg said, snapping his fingers in front of her eyes. "Hm?" she asked. "You paying any attention to me at all?" he asked. There was a moment's pause, then she nodded. "Yeah!" she said, feigning enthusiasm. Somehow, the words didn't come across as well as they had ages ago, back in that lifetime when she'd been Cordelia the Queen of Sunnydale High, Cordelia the Popular Girl. Cordelia-with-no-real-friends. Cordelia-without-Xander. //Closing time Open all the doors and let you out into the world Closing time Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl.// She swallowed, hard. "Greg," she said quietly, "I'm gonna go, um, freshen up, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she pushed herself away from the table and started to move toward the ladies' room in the far back corner. *God damn you, Xander,* she thought, *you stupid, self-indulging, pain in the ass of a--* "Cordelia?" She looked up as someone took her by the arms to keep her from crashing into them, and felt the blood draining from her face as she fought to keep back tears. "Xan-- Xander?" He just stared at her for a moment, his eyes moving quickly over her features, and she let her eyes drop back to the floor. "Excuse me," she said quietly, doing her best to keep her voice even. "I need to--" "I need to talk to you," he said, his voice almost level. She heard him take a deep breath, then felt his hand tilting her chin up so she was looking him in the eye. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Xand--" "Cordelia," he broke in, "I know the last thing in the world you want to do right now is probably to forgive me for what I did, and I honestly wish there were some way I could convince you, what happened with me and Buffy, it was practically nothing. You know, things just sort of happened, and they won't happen again 'cause part of the reason they happened this time was that I never thought they'd happen in the first place." He shook his head, letting her chin go, and this time she didn't look back to the ground. "And, well, I just...please. Give me one more chance." Then he fell silent, just watching her. Waiting for some sort of reaction on her part. And try as she might, Cordelia couldn't find the words to give one to him. She couldn't believe how badly she was hurting inside, how raw she'd been for the past few days. How every time she'd seen Xander in the hallways at school, she'd wanted nothing more than to be able to walk over and throw her arms around him, curl up close and tight against him, and then when she'd done that, haul off and hit him so hard he wouldn't wake up until he had graduated Sunnydale High. She'd been so hurt, so upset. And she hadn't had anyone to talk to about it because she hadn't been able to face Buffy or Willow, and her other "friends" were so shallow they wouldn't know what she was talking about if she mentioned the words "emotional pain". To them, pain was something you got when you didn't stretch before your personal trainer set you up on the step-master. Looking at him, it was all Cordelia could do not to cry and scream and shove him away. It was also all she could do not to collapse against him and tell him all was forgiven, that it always would be, so long as he still wanted her back. She swallowed hard as the song looped into the refrain. //I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home, Take me home.// As the music faded into an instrumental section, she swallowed, then took a short breath. She took a step closer to him, not speaking, taking his hands in hers and moving them so that one rested on her hip, and the other was around the small of her back. Then, without making eye contact with him, she moved her own arms around his neck and leaned up against him as the song moved into the final few lines. //Closing time, Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.// THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody *Lyrics belong to Semisonic, from the song "Closing Time" off the CD "Feeling Strangely Fine". All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (18/?) by Ingrid Date: 17 May 1998 10:34:18 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: Continued dream sequence, Cordelia’s, then some real life- Buffy and Giles. WELCOME to my story. It takes place ten years into the future, but I’m not telling you what’s happened in advance. That’s happening through interludes. FEEDBACK: I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway! My address is Ingrid29@juno.com. REQUESTS FOR PARTS: If you don’t get this, that’s because you haven’t read the other parts. If you want to get this, ask me for them! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Eighteen: "It Continues" ********* Maybe it *was* something about that night, or maybe it was the large icy house, where dreams could float under high ceilings. There was even the potential for a nightmare or two. Maybe it was the house. ~~~~ It was vague, and it’s vagueness was precisely what made it terrifying. Spike. Buffy. Angel. Willow. Xander. Corin. Death. Dead. Blood. Those pretty stars like a wreath in her hair, dancing above her tired eyes. Solid black window. Blood smeared across. Violence. Death. Suddenly, something shook the center of her being. It was wrong. There was something terribly wrong, and she looked up at Willow’s face, malicious and innocent all at once, her eyes sparkling blue, pretty and dead. Betraying, betrayed- what did it matter? Someone was going to die, and she saw it. Someone was going to die violently. Suddenly, but aware. She let out a muffled cry and her eyes snapped open. Xander was awake too. ~~~~ Buffy toweled her wet hair absently. She had a vague sense of doom; of something rising that she couldn’t stop. But she couldn’t think. She just had to be prepared to meet whatever it was an destroy it. For good. The sunlight was flitting through the blinds, doing nothing to subdue the overall coldness of the room. It could only play on the corners of the bed making one wish for summer. She pulled on her shirt and opened the door. Immaculate. The room was immaculate and vacant with one stain in the center of the room. Giles was sitting at the glass table, reading some book or another and he looked up instantaneously. Both froze. Suddenly, they both stood up and crossed the room. They fumbled for a minute before Giles let her have a gentle one-armed hug. He was about to release her, but Buffy held on, years of memories and flashes of light running together before her eyes. She took a deep breath and let him go. It didn’t take much to set her off, and she found herself sniffling and wiping at her brimming eyes. "Hello, Buffy." "Hi, Giles." ***** END, part 18 _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Every New Beginning" Date: 17 May 1998 10:49:07 -0400 Kylen- Fantastic. The world needs more Cordelia / Xander 'shippers. -Ingrid _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Every New Beginning" Date: 17 May 1998 11:38:08 EDT In a message dated 98-05-17 10:51:30 EDT, ingrid29@juno.com writes: >Fantastic. ::claps happily and does the happy dance:: Yea! :) >The world needs more Cordelia / Xander 'shippers. Yeah, completely agreed. Anybody got a site? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (19/?) Date: 17 May 1998 12:02:42 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters of Angel, Buffy, Cordelia, Willow, Xander, Jenny, Giles & company are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, and The Warner Brothers Network, and are used without permission. The author claims no rights to these characters. SUMMARY: Continued dream sequence, Cordelia’s, then Willow’s. WELCOME to my story. It takes place ten years into the future, but I’m not telling you what’s happened in advance. That’s happening through interludes. FEEDBACK: I love to get feedback, except when my mailbox explodes, which is often, but send it anyway! My address is Ingrid29@juno.com. REQUESTS FOR PARTS: If you don’t get this, that’s because you haven’t read the other parts. If you want to get this, ask me for them! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Nineteen: "Hurt" ********* He looked older than he should have, and tired. "I missed you." "I- I missed you too, Buffy." "So much has happened." "I know." "How have you been?" "I’ve been busy. With my work at the museum. They kept all my things. Imagine- all those years." "That’s incredible. You like it there?" "It’s home. It’s where I grew up." "I know I already said this, but I miss you. I know you don’t wanna dig up the past, but can’t you forgive him finally? Can’t you stop running away from us? I miss you, Giles!" Her voice steadily rose to a wavering shout. "Buffy- I can’t ‘just forgive him.’ He killed her!" "It wasn’t him." "Maybe it wasn’t, but every time I look at him, it’s all I can think about." "Get over it Giles. Her life is over. Are you trying to repay Angel by hurting me?" She was shaking. "I’m not trying to hurt you, Buffy. I would never-" "Yes you would. You’re mad because I forgave him, and you couldn’t. But you’re not mad at him. You’re mad at yourself. You hate yourself for letting it happen. For not being there when she needed you. When she died." "Buffy!" "It wasn’t your fault, Giles. How could you have known?" He stumbled backwards. "I just should have, that’s all. I was angry with her, and she died trying to get back *my* trust. She died and I didn’t trust her. She didn’t die peacefully. She was scared. She was running away from him, and I couldn’t stop it." "You couldn’t protect her. But it wasn’t your fault." "It hurts." He took in a choked breath. "I know." "I can’t-" "Giles, you have to get past this. I miss you, damnit!" Then quieter. "I miss you. You know she wouldn’t want you to do this. She’d want you to go on." "It hurts." "I know." She wrapped her arms around him and wiped at her own tears. *** END, 19. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: otherverse 2: When Angel Fell Date: 17 May 1998 13:20:58 -0400 AUTHOR=92S NOTE: This is not the Buffyverse you=92re used to, the names = are the same, but some of the characters have very different backgrounds and personalities. See =93A Sword Against the Darkness=94 for Xander=92s intro. Title: When Angel Fell Author: R. Smith (conor@dnaco.net) Summary: It=92s about Angelus. Comments: Bring =91em on. Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, characters and concepts are property of Josh Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc, etc... =20 The Past Angelus crashed through the woods, a force just beginning to crush his heart. He moved fluidly, quickly, but he could feel his steps beginning to falter, just a little. He stepped up the pace. If he didn=92t get ther= e soon enough, he=92d be done for. He felt Fear like a palpable beast at hi= s back, nipping at his heels, and whispering, =93You=92re doomed,=94 over a= nd over again. =20 Damned gypsies. If he=92d known it was going to be this much trouble, he=92d have let the girl live. Well, the joke was going to be on them in a second, because thanks to poor, lost Drusilla, he knew what they were up to, and that gave him time to do something about it. Another twinge in his unbeating heart. They=92d started the next phase of the spell. Damn Dru! Why did it always take so long to get anything useful out of her disjointed ramblings. All that =93A shadow is coming and it makes my head hurt=94 gibberish. If he ended up too far away to stop this, he=92d stake her himself. Finally, he could see the lights of their camp, and hear the old woman chanting somewhere besides in his own head. He let the change take him, and with a roar, burst into the clearing. The gypsies had prepared for the possibility that he=92d come, but they weren=92t ready for the sheer ferocity of his attack. He wasn=92t here f= or food, so he could let the demon have free reign. He broke necks and ripped out throats and left shattered bodies in his wake as he made a bee-line for the old woman=92s tent. He leaped over the cold body of the girl he=92d killed, and there was nothing between the witch and himself but 20 feet of open ground. She was still chanting, her eyes wide with terror, rushing a little as she tried to finish the spell before it was too late. =20 Angelus could feel something twist in his guts, and knew that he was out of time. If he didn=92t kill her now, it would be all over for him.=20 He cleared the distance between them in two bounds, and grabbed the woman by the throat, lifting her clear of the ground by a good three feet. Her lips still moved in a silent chant, and Angelus glanced around and saw the sphere on the ground, glowing with a swirling energy. He could _almost_ see himself inside it. With a cry, he kicked it, sending it sailing far into the woods, where it bounced, still glowing, into a rabbits hole. He gave the woman a shake, hard enough to rattle her teeth, and broke her chanting. As relief washed over him, he snarled, =93Sorry, witch, but I don=92t _want_ my soul back. I=92m very happy just the way I am. You should have left me alone.=94 He could hear more gypsies coming, and knew he had to finish this now, before he was overwhelmed. Her shook her again, this time like a dog with a rabbit, and smiled as he heard her spine snap. He dropped her, and turned to go, but as he did, he heard her whispering. He leaned down to hear what she had to say. =93...no spell, no candle. You will meet your love, and she will despise you. You will know no peace or joy until you find her. You will _suffer_ without her until she joins you with your lost soul. This is my dying curse, may the Gods of my people make it so.=94=20 As she pronounced the last word, Angelus felt as if a fist had landed directly on his heart. He felt an ache that he could not begin to understand -- a longing so profound that he almost didn=92t dodge when the first gypsy tried to stake him. The attack did, however, pull him back to the here and now. He roved through the forest that night, killing every man, woman and child of the tribe that he could find. Then he went back and took all the arcane texts that the woman had hidden in her tent. No gypsy would try that on him again. The years passed slowly for Angelus. He became quiet and withdrawn, no longer taking any pleasure from tormenting the living. He fed and he slept, and periodically he went into bestial killing rages which left dozens dead in his wake. After the curse, Drusilla got constant visions of his =93love=94, and we= nt on and on about her until in a rage, Angelus put a stake in her heart.=20 From then on, he had no-one. He wandered the world like a ghost. taking what he needed to live, killing whenever the mood took him, and moving on -- constantly searching for a woman who would despise him. He went to America in 1951. There were less of his kind there, so the skills and knowledge of hunting them were less prevalent. He slowly moved west, drawn by some force, and ended up in Sunnydale, a small community built, ironically, right on top of one of the largest concentrations of evil ever discovered. He came into conflict with the local vampire power clique there, a group run by an elder known as =93The Master=94 who had the =93my way or the highway=94 attitude toward all vam= pires who lived in Sunnydale. The old bastard was a joke, and Angelus told him so. So, in a community filled with vampires, Angelus was still alone. Then _she_ came to Sunnydale, and his long-unbeating heart broke at the sight of her. She was fair, and bright, and beautiful. And she was the Slayer. =93What an amazing cosmic joke,=94 he thought, laughing despite himself, =93A vampire in love with the Slayer. This is just too much.=94 He thought about staking himself, then. He had dispaired of ever finding her, but he=92d been sure that when he did, he could use his Hell-given abilities to turn her to his will. But the Slayer was well-known for her resistance to such tricks. His doom settled on him like a cloak. He=92d have to win her the old-fashioned way, and he was _very_ out of practice at the ways of men and women. He did what he could. He helped her against the Master; and slowly, she began to care for him. =20 She came upon him feeding one night, however, and as he looked up from the woman=92s throat, he saw the hatred build in her eyes. She tried to kill him, right then and there, but he escaped, howling in agony at his failure. He tried to explain to her, hating himself for his weakness, but every time he got near her, she attacked. One dark night, he decided that if he could never know peace because of her, then she=92d never it because of him. When she beat the Master, Angelus was there to take over for him. =20 A new leader ruled the underworld with a dark, malicious will, a leader who didn=92t want power. No..., Angelus, the Dark Angel, had come to an accord with himself. No peace for him meant no peace for the world. If he couldn=92t be happy, he=92d be covered in blood. A new age was dawnin= g, a dark age where the sun never rises. And Angelus would make sure that the Slayer was there to see it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 21) Date: 17 May 1998 14:27:31 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 21) And I hated the whole funeral. The whole thing. I sat there, so silent, listening to the sweet, sweet sermon. But the whole time there I felt as though I were being forced. Forced to behave myself when I wanted to scream. Forced to sit still when all I really wanted was to kick and yell with all my might. And the only people that were aloud to cry and scream at this injustice where the people who didn't care. Grandmother and Mamma. I couldn't look at the his body, I couldn't see papa's face one last time. The vile killer had seen to that. This hurt. Unable to say goodbye the proper way. Unable to see him one last time for I'd been out with a man... Then, nearly an hour into the sermon, I begin to feel as though I was not aloud to mourn, and I felt all the glares as the family watching us. Lydia, Mother and me. They shook their heads and bowed their necks, making sure I stay the prim and proper lady I had become. Allowing the tears to well up around my eyes, the black veil letting me silently mourn. But I wanted to scream. Needed to cry with real energy. Such unfair thoughts.... My heart actually felt heavy. Just like how they say in the books 'with heavy hearts' I feel as though it may drag down my entire being with its incredible weight. As the sermon finally came to an end, I couldn't lift my body out of the pews. The ache of my heart and body and soul are to much. Then I realize all it takes is Lydia's sad face to lift me up. She's to young to understand. To young to be in a place of such grief. And though it goes against all Catholic values I have I want her out of here. I don't... I can't let her understand this awful thing. I shudder to think she will someday understand what has happened. ~ He waited outside. How could he go inside? Not that god could keep him out or anything, but to see his Drusilla so sad? Angelus Chuckled. They were coming out and that's all that mattered. She didn't see him. Too busy hiding behind her mother, obvious to Angelus she was avoiding the family. Curious to think she avoided what was all around her... The site could make him cry. Where it not so amusing, he lingered around the patrons coming out of the church, watching his love with hooded eyes. He wanted to see her face, her tears falling around reddened eyes, but that damn veil hid her. She wouldn't come to him. she'd be in morning for a long while. His thoughts told him now was a perfect time to strike, while she was so vulnerable. But his mind told him no. There was too much fun ahead, to be ruined with rash impatience. It was the very instant that she willed her red tear'd eyes to glance up that she recognized him, he looked so distraught, saddened for her. Through all the crowed she ever so slowly made her way to him. He took her hand, ever so gently, once again kissing the palm side laid heartfelt eyes on her. "I'm so sorry Drusilla... I heard of the..." he looked at her face, hand trembling under his own as she tried to still her emotions ".. Accident" False pity, but it seemed so real as his voice cracked near the end of his thoughtless sentence. She took in a large breath as though to speak, but no words came through. Ohh, the desire to lift that veil. But how could her do that to her? She bowed her head, unable to discuss anything, and it took 50 years of control to keep the smile from his face, to stay still and say nothing. For Drusilla. -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (8/?) Date: 18 May 1998 10:50:01 EDT Title: Love's Revival (8/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Savarah is mine! Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address I know you're out there, send some feedback, Please?? *************** Love's Revival Part 8 "What do you think?" Savarah inquired, waving her hand to show off the enormous building. Angel and Buffy followed behind her side by side, not taking their eyes off each other. They moved warily into the center of the building. The room was empty except for a few boxes staked up in a corner, and the ceiling went up nearly 25 feet. "This is it?" Buffy questioned trying to sound unimpressed. "I'm sorry it doesn't suit you Buffy, but it's all I could whip up. This is Sunnydale, after all not much to work with." "Well, what are we waiting for?" Angel asked. "Absolutely nothing!" Buffy snapped, her voice deep with anger. "I'll leave you two alone. You remember the rules?" Angel nodded his head as he and Buffy circled, cautiously staring each other down. "Buffy?" "Yeah, whatever." "Okay. I'll be waiting for the winner outside." Savarah turned and walked away, slamming the only two doors to the building as she left. "This is going to be fun," Angel said smiling. "Damn right." Buffy kept one eye on Angel and another on therest of the room. She knew that even though Savarah was alive because Buffy needed her to bring her soul back, she could still have a few unexpected surprises. "You know Angel, it's a shame that after all we've been through, it has to end like this." "I'm not complaining," Angel said, jumping out and kicking at Buffy's head but she side-stepped him. He quickly turned around and tried again, this time hitting her in the head with a roundhouse kick. Buffy shook it off and returned the favor with three strong kicks to his stomach. Angel took in an unnecessary breath and went at her again. This time, he swung at her with his left hand and she grabbed it before it could make contact. "Oh, too bad. That was a good one." Buffy turned around, keeping a tight hold on Angel's arm and flipped him over her shoulder. He hit the ground with a painful moan but was quickly up and facing her again. "This is probably going to be the last time we're ever gonna see each other. Aren't you gonna miss me?" Buffy tried to sound amusing to cover her serious meaning. "Of course I'm going to miss you," Angel said, his voice unusually sincere. "Angel, was that kindness I sensed in your voice?" "No, that was sarcasm. Your slayer senses are fading." Angel hit her across the face with a backhand that knocked her to the floor. Buffy remained there and used her foot to knock Angel to the ground as well. "Oh, did Angel go boom?" Buffy smiled cockily. He growled as his face altered to its vampire visage. "Ooh scary!" Buffy leaned to her side, sending her left heel to connect solidly with Angel's chin as he tried to get up. "Alright, enough!" Angel got to his feet and in a matter of seconds had Buffy hanging in mid air from her hair. She squirmed in his grasp, pain flowing through her entire body. End Part 8 - Feedback??? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revivial Error Date: 18 May 1998 10:53:03 EDT Sorry, that last part that I said was part 10 in the subject heading was only part 9. -Michelle ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (10/?) - Real version Date: 18 May 1998 10:55:11 EDT Title: Love's Revival (10/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Savarah is mine! Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address *************** Love's Revival (10/?) A crashing sound echoed through the building as Buffy's body slammed into the boxes in the corner. Angel laughed violently as he walked determinedly towards her. She was losing; Angel was beating her to a bloody pulp. Buffy tried to regain her feet, but the fall had caused too much damage. Buffy reached up to feel that her hair was soaked in her own blood. She hissed as her fingers brushed against a large cut on her forehead. The fall onto the crates left her body in bloody and broken. Tears filled her eyes as she realized what was to come. "Angel, help me, please," Buffy whispered softly. She struggled to get up, but the pain defeated her. Every breath she took caused new flashes of agony to race across her nerves. "Sometimes words are your greatest weapon," a quiet voice whispered back. Buffy knew the voice instantly and realized what she had to do. Angel was upon her, almost as if he jumped across the room. He droped to the ground over her, and stroked her face. "You have no idea how much I'm going to enjoy this." "Angel!" Buffy could barely breath under his weight. "What?" he asked, annoyed. "Why'd you save me?" She looked up into his eyes, tears falling down her cheeks. "Come on, Buff. Why are you making this harder on yourself?" "Just answer the damn question. Consider it a last request." Buffy struggled to sound intimidating, gasping against the pain. "Okay, I'll humor you. After all, this will be the last time I'll ever see you." Angel smiled a little as he took in her battered body beneath him. "I guess I did it because I wanted to get back at Savarah; she was using me to get to you." A serious tone replaced his smile. " And I did it because I love you." A smile formed again on his lips. "Enough of that, you have your answer, now let's get this over with." Angel leaned forward and sank his teeth into Buffy's neck. Her eyes widened and her body tensed. He slowly drained her life; he wanted to take his time and enjoy every second of it. Her blood was so sweet, but then, all Slayers tasted better than other humans. A sudden sharp pain struck Angel in the chest. He pulled away from Buffy who had lapsed into unconsciousness. Angel got to his feet and stumbled to the center of the room. "Savarah! NO!" Angel fought it even though he knew it would do no good. He ran towards Buffy's body, planning to finish the job. It was too late. *********** "ANGEL!" Drusilla awoke from a deep sleep. "What? What is it my sweet?" Spike sat up and wrapped an arm around her. "He's gone. Gone." Dru rocked back and forth as she tried to find comfort in Spike's hold. He pulled her closer and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" "Savarah. She took my Angel away." She laid her head down in his lap. Spike stroked her hair gently as he tried to calm her tears away. He couldn't help from smiling when he realized what happened. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (10/?) Date: 18 May 1998 10:51:45 EDT Title: Love's Revival (9/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Savarah is mine! Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Sandollar, 20th Century & anyone else who owns them. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address ***************** Love's Revival Part 9 "What are we supposed to do about Buffy?" Willow asked, panicky. "There really isn't anything we can do. Just hope that she comes back from this alive," Giles said, deep in thought. "We can't just wait here and do nothing!" Xander snapped, coming to his feet. "Oh, yes we can." Cordelia said, afraid to risk her life for Buffy again. Giles indicated for Xander to come into the kitchen. "Look, I understand that you want to protect Buffy. But this time, it's not your place; you can't help, I can't help, no one can." "Except Angel," Xander said unwillingly. "Yes. Except him." ********** Dru walked out into the main room, a large blanket draped around her. "Spike?" "I'm over here." Spike from the chair where he was sitting, centered in the room. "Are you okay?" She asked cowardly, tilting herself off to one side. Spike motioned for her to sit on his lap and she did. "Yeah. I'm just thinking." "'bout what?" "About you, me, and that bastard Angel." Dru caressed his cheek as she flaunted her pouty face. "Well, he is," Spike said half giving in to her look. Dru smiled and he smiled back. "Come on, let's get you back to bed." He lifted her into the air and they walked up to their bedroom. The door closed behind them, sending a shivering vibration throughout the warehouse. ********** "I can't take this anymore. I've got to go help." "Xander!" Willow cried out as she got to her feet to stop him. "You can't do anything. This is Buffy's fight. She's the only one that can get her soul back." "I don't care. I can't just sit her while the that Devil kills her." "What makes you think she's going to die?" Savarah stepped out from the shadows of the stair case. Everyone stood up to face her. "Oh, you don't have to get up." "What are you doing here?" Giles asked through a mix of emotions. "Visiting some old friends." "Where's Buffy?" Xander tried to approach Savarah, but found he couldn't move. "Oh, her? Well, she's hmm, working out some unresolved issues." "What did you do to her?" Giles demanded. "Relax. If she wants to get her soul back, she must defeat her greatest challenge." "Again I ask, why are you *here*?" "She's not. Angel. Angel's her greatest challenge." "Chalk one more up for watcher man." Savarah said with a laugh. "I really should be going now. I just wanted to make sure none of you tried to help her; she has to do this on her own." "Do what? Kill Angel?" "No. Not kill him, love him." While they all pondered her words, she disappeared just as mysteriously as she had appeared. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love's Revival (11/?) Date: 18 May 1998 10:57:12 EDT Title: Love's Revival (11/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Killed By Death Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Savarah is mine! Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: Buffy and Angel cope with the thought of love between eachother while Angel is still evil. Buffy must face some old horrors as well as some new ones. IMPORTANT: Sequal to The Dark One Series. This story is explained as best as I could to fill in the blanks but you have to read "The Dark One" to understand it. You can check it out as well as all my other stories at: http://members.aol.com/aglx/fanfic.html < --- Changed Address *************** Love's Revival (11/?) Angel awoke slowly to find himself sprawled atop Buffy. His weight was crushing her broken body. Quickly he moved off her and knelt by her side. "No," he whispered, "please no. What have I done?" Angel's eyes widened in horror as he saw the twin puncture marks on her neck. Remembering what had happened, what he had done, he screamed out into the night. "NO!!!" His voice echoed through the building. "Not her. Why did it have to be her?" He lifted her gently and cradled her body. Tears from his eyes fell upon her motionless form, mixing with the blood in her hair. "Buffy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't...Oh God." As he held her close, he felt her take in a painful breath. He loosened his hold, and watched as she painfully took in another breath. Angel smiled faintly as a sense of false hope came over him. Getting to his feet, Angel rushed out of the building with Buffy's body in his arms. He ran to the closest place he could; the one place he didn't want to go, but knew he had to. He knocked on the door quickly and then put his arm back under Buffy to keep her supported. Xander opened the door to see his worst nightmare come true. He was speechless for a brief moment before reacting the only way he knew possible. "You bastard!" Xander said. He grabbed her body from his arms and rushed her inside to the couch. Giles and Willow ran to the door to see Angel's grief stricken form looking back at them. "Angel!" Willow screamed as she saw how innocent he looked. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I didn't- it wasn't me. Oh my God, what have I done?" Giles and Willow just watched him as he collapsed against the porch railing. He was rambling incoherently. "She's lost a lot of blood!" Xander yelled from the living room. Angel turned and tried to peek into through the door to see Buffy. Giles stood in his way, unable to speak. "What do you mean it wasn't you?!?" he yelled angrily. "We had to fight for Buffy to regain her soul. I hurt her, so bad. I'm sorry, I- I'm so sorry," he whispered brokenly. "Angel?" Giles asked quietly. The haunted look in his eyes proved that it wasn't the Angelus that they hated so much. The one that had killed his Jenny. "Savarah restored my soul and Buffy's because she forced me to admit that I loved her." New tears streamed down his face as he realized how much he had hurt Buffy, her friends, everyone. "Tell Buffy that I'm sorry. That she'll never have to see me again. I'm leaving, forever." "But..." Willow wanted to stop him but didn't. She knew that if he left, it would be for the best. Giles and Willow both returned to the living room to kneel by Buffy's side. "We have to get her to a hospital, quickly!" Giles lifted her off the couch and they ran to his car. ********* Willow and Cordelia sat in the waiting room, watching Xander pace in front of them. "Xander, please sit down," Cordelia said, indicating a chair next to her. He shook his head without even looking at her. "Xander, pacing isn't going to change anything." Willow said innocently. "Yeah, well, I can't just sit still. This is making me mad. I could have done something. I could have helped her. Maybe then that- that thing wouldn't have hurt her!" Willow tried to ignore his harsh words. He had every reason in the world to be mad, and she was willing to let him take it out on her. He saw the impact his words had on her and stopped his pacing for a second. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I'm just so frustrated with all this." "I know." Giles rose from his chair across the room and walked over to him. "Xander, you know you couldn't have helped her." "Yeah..." "Rupert Giles?" The doctor exited Buffy's room and approached the group. Everyone stood up to greet him. "Yes, how is she? Will she recover?" "Well, I can't disclose much information since there is no legal guardian here, but she will be fine. We're giving her blood to replace what she has lost. She will need a lot of recuperating but she will be good as new." Smiles filled the room and Xander finally sat down. "When can we see her?" "Well, not for a little while. When will the parents be arriving?" "Her mother is flying in right away. She should be here soon." "Okay then." The doctor marked something down on his charts and then looked back up to Giles. "You should all get some rest." "Yes, I suppose we should." Giles said with smile. "Thank you, doctor." End Part 11 - More to come soon. I promise. What do you think so far??? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Angel's Lover Subject: BUFFYFIC: Restoration Part Seven Date: 18 May 1998 14:02:06 -0700 Title: Restoration Part Seven Plot: Its the story of the return of Angel's soul plus the aftermath of said event. Rating: PG Catalogued: My homepage, Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 under The Watcher's Diaries Volume II Comments: Yes please... to Lea at either lfox@continuum.org or angelslover@geocities.com Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, they belong to Joss Whedon, WB, and ME productions. I am making no money from this, and no copyright infringement was intended. **************** Restoration: Part Seven A half joy, half sadness filled Buffy's heart as she awoke the next morning. Angel was back, but now he'd gone and placed himself in mortal danger. Trying to pull one over on Spike and Drusilla would be more than hard, it was nearly impossible. If Spike didn't sense the change in Angel immediately, Drusilla would surely see it in one of her visions. Buffy half heartedly pulled on her robe, walking downstairs to find a note left by her mother. Joyce had gone into the gallery early to prepare for a new exhibition. Buffy sighed and glanced at the clock, 7:30. She had an hour and a half to get ready for school, not like she would be able to concentrate, but she really should fill Giles and the others in on what was happening. When she got to school she went immediately to the library. She heard their voices long before she opened the door. "It's done, Xander! All the screaming and complaining in the world won't change that!" Willow's angered voice rose clearly. "Yeah well I still think we should just stake him and get it over with!" "Xander, it was my choice to make and I made it." Giles' voice was far calmer than either of the teenagers. Xander growled, "Well you made the wrong choice if you ask me!" "Which I did not." Buffy opened the door and regarded the argument as yet unnoticed. Xander continued, "And Buffy! I can't even begin to believe her! She's gone back to that undead freak even after all he's done! Just jumps right back in bed with him as if nothing ever happened!" Willow looked up and caught sight of Buffy and the hurt expression on her face. "Xander," she murmered quietly, but the boy paid no attention. "It's like he just walks in, goes, "Honey, I'm home!" and all the murder and pain and self absorbed, sarcastic remarks are immediately forgiven! Who cares that he killed our friends; forgive and forget, right?" Giles had by now seen Buffy as well. "Xander, stop." "I mean is Buffy so damned desperate that she'll do any man who puts on a sad face and a tortured past cause I can do taht act just as good, and guess what??? I'm alive!!!" Both Willow and Giles snapped as tears came to Buffy's eyes. "Xander! Shut up!" They hollared in unison, and finally the boy closed his mouth. He turned around to see Buffy standing there, her cheeks damp with tears, her arms hugging her body. His jaw dropped. "Buffy... I..." Buffy shook her head, "Forget it! Forget it forget it forget it forget it forget it!!!!!!" Her voice rose with every sylable before she finally stopped to stare Xander in the eyes. "I came here to tell you all that Angel's gone on a suicide mission for US! To save US! He's gone back to Spike and Dru's to take them out, but obviously none of you give a damn so why the hell should I bother!" She turned on her heel and slammed out of the library, spinning past Principal Snyder, almost knocking him into a near by garbage can. "Young lady!" He cried out as she stormed past. "Miss Summers! Has no one ever taught you miserable children manners?!" She never stopped as she hurried out of the school. The principal brushed himself off, muttering to himself as he headed towards his office. "Obviously not. I hate children, I hate teenagers more.. absolutely no manners, no consideration!" Back in the library, Willow glared at Xander in anger. "What?!" he snapped, "I only spoke the truth and no matter how she feels it's always gonna be the truth!" Willow looked at Xander in shock for a moment, hardly able to comprehend the sheer callousy that filled his every word. Shaking her head Willow turned to go after Buffy. She paused at the door to look over her shoulder at her best friend. "And you say you love her." She shook her head, her words growing soft with disapointment. "What's worse? To think that I thought I loved you." With that she allowed the library doors to swing shut and she disappeared out the front door of the school. *********** Willow pushed her body to it's limits as she raced after the much more agile Buffy. It didn't take her long to realize where the girl was headed. Buffy didn't have many friends, and only one that lived anywhere near the Bronze. Willow slowed her pace at last, pausing to catch her breath as Buffy disappeared into Angel's building. Finally, as her breath returned to a somewhat normal pace, she entered the building herself. The door to Angel's loft was open, and from inside Willow could hear the slayer's crying, a sound that scared her immensely. The only other time she could remember Buffy crying was right after Angel had gone to be replaced by Angelus. Silently Willow stepped inside, moving unerringly into the bedroom where she sat down upon the bed, resting a gentle hand on Buffy's back. Buffy had always known Willow would support her through anything; she was the best type of person in existence. Willow was a loving, selfless girl, and right now Buffy needed her support more than anything. Turning, Buffy lay her head upon Willow's shoulder, her tears coming to a stop as she realized she had at least one friend left. After a few moments, Buffy looked up into Willow's ever caring, now concerned eyes. "Do you think I'm wrong to trust him again?" Willow shrugged, "It's hard for Xander to understand, Buffy. We've all done strange things in the name of love. It can't be helped." A slight smile came to the slayer's lips and a wistful tone entered her voice. "You weren't wrong, you know. Love does make you do the wacky." Willow straightened and grinned. "Gotta love that book learnin'!" In her best impersonation of Xander. She was rewarded with a soft chuckle from her friend. "That's not something you learn from books, Will. That's all you." And Willow smiled. ***************** Angel sat in the darkness of the vampire hideaway. His return had been awarded with a brilliant smile from Drusilla and a scowl from the wheel chair bound Spike. "Welcome back, Angel, and I was so hoping you'd been staked." Angel grinned and shrugged, "Sorry to disappoint ya, man." Drusilla sidled up to Angel, resting her hand on his chest. "You never disappoint me, my Angel." He shook his head, stroking the female vampire's hair as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I couldn't go and let my poor Drusilla down, now could I?" He grinned again, casting a look at Spike out of the corner of his eye. "After all, if I died, who would you have to dance with?" He drew Drusilla in closer, swaying her body with his to a beat that was only in their minds. Drusilla sighed with pleasure, closing her eyes and smiling faintly. "Roller boy there is a smooth wheller, but he couldn't manage dancing with you in that special way you love so much, now could he, princess?" Drusilla shook her head slightly, "You do so know how to please me." Angel smiled, "I know you better than anyone, Dru; history can't be forgotten." Drusilla stroked Angel's face. "My poor dear, left all alone all day.. all day. You didn't sleep well, did you?" Angel shook his head, "Nah, baby. Without your sweet voice to chase away the sunlight, I could never sleep." The vampire female giggled. "Hush now," she whispered, "Or Spike may get jealous." Spike rolled his eyes and feigned gagging over the arm of his wheelchair. Drusilla led Angel to the door. "Off you go to sleep now, my sweet Angel. When the sun falls we'll have a special dinner, you and I." Angel kissed lightly Drusilla's forehead before turning and heading for his room. Once he was out of sight he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He regretted what his actions of the next few nights would bring, but Spike and Drusilla had to be stopped. Angel lay down upon his bed and closed his eyes. Even if that meant Drusilla would have to die. ************* End Part Seven! -- Angel's Lover (fondly known as Lea) "Love makes you do the wacky!" "I'm SO the net girl!" Come visit Heaven's Gates: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3863 Defender of David Boreanaz... you know, the man with the fangs! ~VV~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Black Fire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (3/?) Date: 18 May 1998 14:39:15 PDT Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Summary: Angelus is being visited by some disturbing nightmares. Feedback: If you wish Rating: PG I hope. But there could be a lot of language and violence in the works. I'm not sure yet. Disclaimer: I make no claims to Angelus or any other Buffy characters that may appear in this story. I also make no claims to any of the literary, film or theatrical references made here. Mazes of the Mind 3 Angelus found himself emmersed in a huge tank of slimy goo. He was suffocating; drowning in the airless metal coffin. He slammed himself against the side of the tank and it rocked. In desparation, he did it again and again until he was finally able to knock the thing off balance. The tank fell over on its side. As it did, the top poped off and he was slammed to the floor and washed out of his prison. He saw a flash of light... Suddenly, he was no longer spralled out on the floor. Now he was standing a few feet from a large monsterous form that layed where he had last been. Angelus took one step and found himself on the floor in pain next to the creature. Gently, he rolled himself over and got to his knees. He crawled over to the body and, with great effort, rolled it onto its back. As he did, a pair of yellow eyes snapped open and stared at him. It roared and Angelus jumped back. The monster then got to it's feet and started to come after him. Terrified, Angelus started to crawl away. Eventually, with much effort, he too got to his feet and began running, but the creature was too fast for him. Angelus found himself trapped in a corner with the thing closing in on him, reaching out with one of it's great hands and enclosing its fingers around his throat. The monster squeezed and lifted Angelus into the air. In that instance, as the creature's grip tighted and closed off Angelus' air ways, he knew that he had done something terribly wrong. But, it was too late, his creations monsterous, angry face was the last thing he saw and the last thing he could regret before his world went black. -- End Part 3 Feedback anyone? The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Black Fire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (4/?) Date: 18 May 1998 15:38:03 PDT Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Summary: Angelus is being visited by some disturbing nightmares. Feedback: If you wish Rating: PG I hope. But there could be a lot of language and violence in the works. I'm not sure yet. Disclaimer: I make no claims to Angelus or any other Buffy characters that may appear in this story. I also make no claims to any of the literary, film or theatrical references made here. Mazes of the Mind 4 Angelus woke up screaming. He could still feel the vice-like grip around his neck. As he tried to remind himself that he didn't really need air, he looked around to find out where he was this time. The Garden. He was back in Dru's Garden. He heaved an airless sigh of relief and got to his feet... Or tried to, at least. He found that he was pinned to the ground by an invisible weight. "What the...?" he said as he tried to move. All that answered him was a manical laughter that sounded suspiciously like his voice. He groaned. 'Not again,' he thought. "Okay," he said, angrily, "where the hell are you?" "Aaawwww..." came his voice from above him. "Is the poor, little vampire having a nightmare?" His face... his human face appeared over him, wearing a look that made even him cringe. His whole body slowly materialized and Angelus finally realized why he couldn't move: the bastard was crouched on his chest like an oversized elf. "Get off me," Angelus finally yelled and knocked his double off of him. He got to his feet quickly and faced his other self. "Now, who are you?" "You already know the answer to that question," the other said immpatiently. "Okay..." Angelus growled, "what do you want then?" "You know that too," was the answer as Angel grew more irritable. "Will you stop with the bone-headed, obvious questions already? My respect for your intelligence is low enough as it is." That did it. Angelus was mad now. He rushed his double but Angel stepped aside at the last minute. With all the momentum Angelus had built up, he couldn't stop himself and he plowed right into a wall. The blow to himself was hard enough to knock him to the ground. Angel laughed again. "You're pathetic." "Am I?" Angelus asked as he staggered to his feet. "Then why are you here?" "Where else can I fight you but here?" Angel asked simply. "What?" "You heard me," Angel said as he started circling his victim. "I can't fight you out there anymore. But I can still fight you in here. Our roles have been reversed. Now *you* play Jekyll to *my* Hyde. And you know what?" Angel finally stopped circling and pushed Angelus' face back into the wall. As he did, he leaned over and whispered into his double's ear, "I'm much better at it that you were." With that, Angel released his hold on Angelus and walked away, laughing evily. Angelus pushed himself away from the wall and turned to face his other self. "I'm getting out of here," he growled as he headed for the door. But, again, as he left the room, he found himself falling into darkness. This time though, as he fell, he turned to see Angel waving at him from the top of the pit. It was the last thing he saw as the darkness enveloped him once again. Left alone at the top, Angel chuckled to himself and walked away from the edge of the well. "He just won't learn, will he...?" -- End Part 4 Well? The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: poem: Sonnet for B. S. from R. G. Date: 18 May 1998 22:31:07 -0400 Sonnet for B.S from R.G She is the child I will never have, And as her almost-father I=20 Should give her cause to smile and laugh, Not drive her and ignore her cries. But that is not to be, for we two are part of something more. We are bound, held fast by destiny -- Mine to guide and hers to war. For her this would not be my choice, She should be always in the sun. But though I cry =91til I break my voice She won=92t be free =91til this war is done. I give her nightmares and wish her dreams, and have nightmares of my own of her dying screams. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. G. Date: 18 May 1998 22:33:02 -0400 I wasn't sure if poetry was appropriate, so my advanced apologies if I have done ill. -R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jill Kirby Subject: Admin/Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: re: poem: Sonnet for B.S. from R. Date: 18 May 1998 21:54:04 -0500 (CDT) At 10:33 PM 5/18/98 -0400, Rick Smith wrote: >I wasn't sure if poetry was appropriate, so my advanced apologies if I >have done ill. For the record, poetry is absolutely appropriate. Stories, poems, haiku, whatever-- if it's Buffy-related, and follows the other guidelines (i.e. adult content), you're fine. And sonnets are my favourite form of poetry-- thanks. I liked it, a lot. Sad, though, which is appropriate. Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel He didn't just want to have his cake and eat it. He wanted to have his cake, eat it, franchise a bakery chain with his name on it, defend the cause of pure pastry, and somehow get credit for both abstinence and epicureanism. Just like the rest of us. --A. Gopnik on Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Redfire98 Subject: BUFFYFIC: Revelations (1/1) Date: 19 May 1998 00:33:57 EDT TITLE: Revelations AUTHOR: Tamara! EMAIL: Aramat330@aol.com DISTRIBUTION: Eventually my site. You want it, just tell me. RATING: PG all the way! (Yay, me!) SUMMARY: This is set in the future, how far I don't know, but it is a ways into the future. It's about two people finding each other again. That's all I could think of. FEEDBACK: All good tidings come my way. All bad ones, go somewhere else. DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me. They belong to Joss, who may or may not be alive Wednesday morning. Not that *I'm* threatening to harm him, but some people are talking lots of violence. Anyway, I'm just playing with them, trying to make them happy before Joss tears their world apart. Note: I'm sending this out because it has a happy ending. I've resigned myself to a summer of not so happy fic, so I have to get the happy stuff in now. I hope you like it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Revelations By Tamara! She never knew what hit her. One moment she was standing there, alone with her thoughts, an act in which she often found herself these days, the next he was there, surrounding her. She stood still as death, waiting for him to make the first move, hoping he would come to her, not her to him as had been the way all those years ago. In the end they came to each other. The longer she stood there trying to forget his presence, the longer he stood waiting, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence, waiting for her to yeild to the power that drew them together. In the end she couldn't deny it, she didn't want to. They came together slowly, each taking tentative steps toward something neither of them wanted, but needed despite their intentions. To each other they were drawn by passion, by hate, by destiny, by love. They were drawn together by a need to destroy, drawn together by a need to heal. So many conflicting emotions, so many feelings that defied explanation. As they stared up at each other, their eyes holding many questions, questions they could only answer by looking deep inside themselves, to the parts they didn't want to explore. She opened her mouth to speak, to say how confused she still was by their situation, that even after all these years the sound of his name, softly spoken in her dreams, still had the ability to incite her rage, that the memory of his touch, his hands caressing her, still had the ability to inflame her passions. He stopped her, his finger against her slightly parted lips effectively silencing the words that waited to be spoken. He, better than anyone, understood. He felt what she felt, he knew what she knew. They were bound together, for all eternity, and the bond had only grown stronger during their time apart. It hardly surprised her that she'd never gotten over him. He'd been her first love. The one you never forgot, the one you loved forever. The only thing was, as hard as she tried, she couldn't move on. Other women, while never forgetting their first love, moved on to bigger and better things. But she couldn't, no matter how many men she dated, how many lovers she had, none could make her forget him. He'd literally spoiled her for other men, something that, at times made her laugh, at times made her cry. She didn't want to love him, she'd tell herself, she didn't want to remember him and the way they had been. But when she fell asleep at night and her dreams took over he would be there, in some mystical place, waiting for her, and she was happy. When she finally focused her attention back on him he was smiling. He reached up, his hand cupping her cheek, and she leaned into his palm, her eyes closing, her lips parting as a contented sigh escaped her. His hand moved down to lift her chin and she opened her eys to look at him, knowing that he had something to say. "I've never forgotten," he whispered softly to her, his voice holding a note of sadness that she recognized intimately. It was a sound she was well used to, having heard it in her own. "I'll never forget. You won't let me." And she knew then, as he spoke those words, that she remembered him because she wanted to, not because she couldn't stop herself. His presence was an intergral part of her, his influence in her life so deep that to abandon it would mean losing an intimate part of herself, a part she was not ready, probably would never be ready, to let go. She needed him to be a part of her life, in any way, shape or form. Just like he needed her in his. Together they were stronger and they'd held on to that in anyway they could, through their dreams, through their memories, through the love that had once brought them together and tore them apart. In the moment it took her to stop denying that she did, indeed, love him, to start admitting that there would never be anyone else for her, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her. She felt alive, she felt happy, she felt loved. They were feelings she'd denied herself for so long, feelings she'd forgotten she needed in order to survive. "You know," she said, as she smiled up at him. "You still have the ability to make me crazy." Her smile widened when he cracked on of his own. "Funny, you do the same to me." He leaned forward slightly, his lips lightly brushing hers, before he pulled away and looked down at her, his eyes serious. "I've missed you. A lot." She smiled. "I've missed you too. Life was lonely without you." Then she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, holding on to him and life was finally worth living again. The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tamara, CtH Mistress ~ Aramat330@aol.com ~ UCS ~ Spikette ~ SGEB ~ SunS Worshipper ~ RABID ~ GASP Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Aramat1/index.html "We're so sick. I love us!" -Lex, My Evil Twin "We're like artists and this is how we screw ourselves." -Jane, "Daria" "I think -therefore I'm single." -Lizz Winstead ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Rick Smith Subject: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire Date: 19 May 1998 01:07:04 -0400 TITLE: Trial By Fire AUTHOR: R. Smith (conor@dnaco.net) Rated: R for language (and some violence against vampires) Synopsis: Solo Cordelia in the more or less mainstream Buffyverse. Comments: Bring =91em on Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, all characters and concepts are property of Josh Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., blah, blah blah. =93So that=92s it then,=94 said Buffy, =93You=92re sure it=92s going dow= n in L. A. and not here?=94 =93All of the signs point to Los Angeles,=94 replied Giles, =93Not quite _everything_ happens right here on the Hellmouth. There is a lesser source of evil somewhere in the Hollywood Hills that, while an order of magnitude weaker than Sunnydale, is still capable of generating some truly dreadful effects.=94 =93We=92d better get going if we=92re going to be ready by tonight. Xan= der, Willow and I have already dealt with the whole parental consent issue,=94= =20 Willow and Xander nodded in unison, =93 So there=92s nothing keeping us f= rom cruising out of here right now.=94 =93Aren=92t we going to wait for Cordelia?=94 asked Willow, =93She is um= ... part of the team now. Well, she more or less is part of the team, anyway.=94 =93Nah,=94 said Xander, =93She=92s got some kind of family thing going o= n this weekend. And, although I am her significant other, she was very pointed in the fact that she wasn=92t ready for her family to know she was dating me. So this will be a good excuse to make myself scarce.=94 He made a face. =93Like I wanted to be introduced to her aunts and uncles and cousins, anyway. Ugh, it=92d be like being trapped Barbie=92s Beach Party from Hell.=94 =93Still, we should tell her where we=92re going, and how to reach us, i= n case she needs to contact us,=94 said Giles, =93No need borrowing trouble= .=94 =93Ok, ok, I=92ll leave her a note. I=92ll even use small words so she=92= ll understand most of it.=94 =93She=92s not here, Xander,=94 said Buffy, =93So you can stop pretendin= g you don=92t really like her. No one here is buying.=94 Xander jotted down a quick note, and left it on the table. As they all headed out the door, a gust of wind from the hall gently lifted the note, and tossed it carelessly to the floor, out of sight. Several hours later, Cordelia came trotting into the library. =93Okay, why didn=92t anyone clue me in that something was going on. I called at...=94 She suddenly realized that she was using up some perfectly good bitching on an empty room. =93Great,=94 she thought, =93They=92re not here either. It figures that= when my plans change and I=92ve suddenly got this urge to hang out with them, they don=92t even bother to let me know what=92s going on. I guess I=92m= not as much a part of their little group as I thought.=94 It bothered her that it bothered her that they had excluded her. Just a year ago, she wouldn=92t have wanted to hang out with them anyway, and now... Well, things change. She was with Xander now, and after a year of helping Megabuffy the Vampire Destroyer, she fit better with Buffy and Company than she did with her old crowd. She knew she didn=92t contribute as much as the others, but she tried. I= t was hard, and scary, fighting gweechy monsters, and sometimes she wished that she was still as oblivious as she had been. But then she=92d still detest Xander and even though he couldn=92t dress to save his life, and was sometimes an asshole, besides, she really liked him. =93Oh, this is to classic,=94 said a voice from the stacks, =93I come to rough up the Slayer, and give her a little emotional scarring, and I find poor, dim, Cordelia, all alone and all but wearing a sign that says =91Kill me and drink my blood=92.=94 =93Oh God!=94 thought Cordelia, =93Angel.=94 She looked up and saw him, with two other vampires, all grinning down at her.=20 Seeing the stunned look on her face, Angel chuckled. =93Hmm... how to kill you. Quick? Naw, that=92 wouldn=92t be any fun. Slow, very slow, w= ith lots of screaming. Take her boys, and bring her to me...... unhurt.=94 As the vampires began a leisurely stroll down the stairs, Cordelia cast about for some escape. She wasn=92t supposed to have to deal with this stuff alone. Vampire fighting was Buffy=92s _job_. she wanted to cry, bu= t knew that that would only result in vampires killing her. So, she ran. She hit the library doors at a dead sprint, leaving the vampires standing in surprise. =93After her!=94 yelled Angel as he vaulted the rail, =93If she gets awa= y, I=92ll kill you all myself.=94 Cordelia ran down the hall, just trying to get away. Her only real thought was =93DamnXanderdamnBuffydamndamndamn. Why did you leave me her= e alone to get killed by vampires. I will never, _never_ forgive you if Angel rips out my throat.=94 As she ran, her mind gradually calmed. =20 =93What would Buffy do to get these guys to leave her alone?=94 she aske= d herself. =93Buffy would just kill them and go have a Frappuccino,=94 she answered. =93Buffy would kill them. Buffy would have to kill them. _I_ have to kil= l them. How do I kill them?=94 =93She=92d seen Buffy kill about a zillion vampires. She made it look easy. Maybe it was. She=92d need a stake. Buffy always used a stake.=20 All the stakes were in Giles=92 office... back in the library where Angel was. Once Buffy had used a broom handle. There were brooms in the closet where she and Xander made out every day!=94 With solid plan in mind, Cordelia headed around the corner and down the hall toward the janitor=92s closet. In the distance, she could hear the vampires chatting about what they=92d do when they caught her. They were so casual about it, like she didn=92t have a chance of beating them. God, that pissed her off. She=92d kill them, just to spite them. She skidded up to the closet door, nearly sliding past it. She tore it open and stood staring at the cleaning supplies. She looked blankly at the brooms and mops, trying to figure out how to stick one into a vampire. =93Oh!=94 she thought, and kicked one of the mop handles. It snapped, and the top (with a nicely sharpened point) landed at her feet. As she bent to pick it up, she heard, =93Look what we have here. She=92= s actually going to try to fight us.=94 Two of the vampires were chuckling in the hall, amused by her attempt to defend herself. =93I=92ll take care of this,=94 one said to the other, as he headed towa= rd her down the hall, =93Angel says she=92s the least dangerous of the lot. Give up, cutie, you can=92t hope to beat a real, live vampire with that pathetic little stick. Come on back with us, so that Angel can rip out your throat.=94 The whole time he talked, he kept moving forward, getting within striking distance of what he thought was a terrified girl. Cordelia was concentrating much too hard to be very afraid. She was remembering how Buffy used a stake, seeing in her mind=92s eye the motion that would carry hers into this vampire=92s heart. When he got close enough, he glanced back at his buddy, and as he did, Cordelia struck, just the way Buffy would have. The stake slid effortlessly into his chest, and he had one moment to look surprised before he exploded into dust. =93Gross!=94 thought Cordelia, as the dust covered her, but that thought was driven from her mind as the second vampire charged with a growl. She stumbled into the closet, looking around for something to distract the monster before it killed her. Her gaze fell on a big plastic bottle of ammonia, and she remembered when she was a little girl and got some ammonia in her eyes. Not only did it make them red and ugly for two days, it hurt like Hell. she didn=92t know if ammonia would hurt vampires=92 eyes, but she was game to try it, so as the vampire ran towar= d her she grabbed the bottle and jabbed her stake into it. When the vampire got close, she help up the bottle, and squirted ammonia right into his face. He threw up his arms, more in surprise than in pain, and covered his face. With a very satisfied look, Cordelia stabbed him through the heart and he exploded just like the other one. Stake in hand, she stepped carefully out of the closet. Somewhere, Angel was still in the school. Slow clapping greeted her in the hallway. =93Amazing, truly amazing,=94 said Angel from a little way down the hall= , =93I never would have imagined you capable of killing one, let alone two, vampires. Buffy would be so proud. If, of course, I let you live to tell her, which I won=92t. Time to die, Cordie.=94 =93No-one calls me that but Xander, you blood-sucking pinhead,=94 Cordel= ia said, =93I don=92t care if you are Buffy=92s ex-whatever.=94 In her anger, Cordelia tried something she=92d seen Buffy do a couple of times. She threw the stake at Angel, expecting it to stick right in his chest. Buffy would be mad, since she wanted to re-curse him and all, but she=92d understand that Cordelia really didn=92t have a choice, it wa= s Angel or her, after all. The stake spun lazily through the air, hitting Angel squarely in the chest and... bouncing. Angel doubled over, laughing so hard he couldn=92= t see straight. =93You didn=92t expect that to _work_, did you?=94 he choked between bre= aths, =93Buffy can do that kind of crap because she=92s the Slayer, you dimwit.= =94 Cordelia saw the logic in that statement. She also saw that as long as he was choking on his own laughter, she could run away, so she did. She headed back to the library, since Angel was in the hallway. Giles always kept vampire killing stuff there. =93Wait,=94 gasped Angel, =93Come back! I=92m sorry I mocked you. Let=92= s talk this over until I can get my hands on you.=94 More laughter echoed throug= h the halls. Cordelia made it back to the library without further incident, slamming through the doors and charging straight for Giles=92 office. She grabbed the handle and turned. Nothing happened. She rattled the knob as if that would make the lock magically open. Still nothing. Once again she tried to think of what Buffy would do. =93She=92d step back and kick it right there, like _this_. Owwww.=94 The door slammed open as Cordelia kicked it, but she was pretty sure she=92d broken her foot. She made a mental note that that was one more thing Buffy could do because she was the Slayer. She limped inside, and opened the cabinet where Giles kept his vampire stuff. There were stakes, and crosses and one of the crossbow thingies, as well as all his musty old monster books. She grabbed a stake (a really nice one, she noted) and a big wooden cross, and turned just as Angel got to the office door. He snarled and jumped back as she jammed the cross at his face, throwing up an arm to ward off the very sight of it. He tried twice more to get at her, but each time, she brandished the cross and he fell back. =93I=92m impressed, Cordelia,=94 he said from around the corner, =93I underestimated you. I think I=92ll let you live until it=92s just you and Buffy. Although I have been know to change my mind from time to time, so I wouldn=92t sleep to soundly if I were you.=94 Cordelia heard the library door swing open, and close softly. She sat there all night, cross in one hand and stake in the other, just in case he came back. =93Ho-Hum,=94 said Xander as they all stepped into the library, =93All t= hat way, and Buffy kills the big, bad vampiroid in twenty seconds flat. It was hardly worth the effort, heck Cordie probably could have killed that one....whoa! Giles, someone=92s been sleeping in your bed and they kicked in your door to get there.=94 =93Oh, no,=94 said Giles, =93Not another red herring so that the vampire= s here could get to my books!=94 They all headed over to the shattered remains of Giles=92 office door.=20 When they got close, a cross came poking out, followed by a quick stab from a wooden stake. It might have hit Xander, but Cordelia stumbled on her swollen foot and fell. =20 She looked wrecked, hair a mess, clothing askew, makeup smeared with tears. At the same time, she looked both relieved and angry to see the rest of the gang. =93And where in the Hell did you four go off to, leaving me here to figh= t vampires while you were gone?=94 she started, beginning to get up a good head of steam, =93I nearly died last night, and you all couldn=92t even l= et me know where you went.=94 =93Cordie,=94 soothed Xander, =93Slow down. You fought vampires? Are y= ou okay? Did they hurt you? Oh, man, are you okay?=94 Cordelia said, =93Angel was here... with a couple of other vampires. The= y chased me around the school, but I killed two of them and chased Angel off with this.=94 She brandished the cross. =93The Cross of Saint Crispian,=94 commented Giles, =93A very holy relic= .=20 I=92m not surprised Angel couldn=92t get past it to you.=94 =93Let me get this straight,=94 Buffy cut in, =93You killed _two_ vampir= es last night?=94 =93Yes,=94 said Cordelia slowly, as if speaking to an infant, =93In the janitor=92s closet by the gym.=94 =93Hey, guys,=94 commented Willow, =93This is really important and all, = but Cordelia doesn=92t look too good. Maybe we should leave the question and answer session until we get her cleaned up and have that foot looked at.=94 =93Oh... yes,=94 said Giles, looking a bit bemused, =93That would be for= the best. Can you walk, Cordelia?=94 =93I think so, if I have someone to lean on.=94 Buffy nudged Xander. =93Oh, hey, that=92d be me,=94 he said. As he helped Cordelia out of the library he softly said to her, =93I absolutely forbid you from killing vampires without me ever again. I mean it, imagine what kind of trouble you could get in to.=94 =93Yeah,=94 said Buffy, =93Like fighting off three vampires, killing two= and driving off a really dangerous one. My God, Cordelia, what were you thinking?=94 =93Ok, ok,=94 said Xander, =93I guess you can kill all the vampires you = want. Just be more careful. I=92d hate to have to figure out if I missed you.=94 He glanced around and then kissed her lightly, =93I=92m glad you=92re oka= y.=94 =93I think,=94 said Cordelia, =93That I=92ll leave the vampire killing t= o Buffy. She doesn=92t even get dirty when she does it. I=92m going to hav= e to wash for a week to get dead vampire out of my hair.=94 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jennifer M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions Part 3/15 Date: 19 May 1998 08:28:19 PDT TITLE: Best Intentions AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary? RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1? THANKYOUS: Thanks Leslie S.! FEEDBACK: Please! Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al. The idea is mine, though! ~~Best Intentions Part 3/15 Later that day, Joyce walked into the high school library. She had been crying for most of the day and her head was pounding. No one was anywhere to be seen in the large room. "Mr. Giles?" she called out. "Hello?" "Mrs. Summers! What are you doing here?" Giles looked at her. Concern raced through him when he looked closely at the woman's face. "What has happened? Is Buffy alright?" At the mention of her daughter's name, Joyce burst into tears again. Giles walked over to her and lead her to the cot in his office. "Mrs. Summers, please, what has happened to Buffy?" Fear consumed Giles as he thought about the possibilities of what had happened to the Slayer. "Mr. Giles, I did something terrible. But, I did it for my daughter. I swear. I had her best interest at heart, and I had to do something." She looked at him through watery eyes, and carefully chose her next words. "I found something, and I confronted her. Things did not go well." "Uh, no, I, uh suppose not," he stuttered. "Would you like to talk about it?" "Well, yes. You see, she said something strange." Joyce looked Giles squarely in the eye. "Buffy told me to come to you and tell you what happened, and ask you for the truth. And last night, she said she was going to tell me, but, not until we could come to you. I, I thought she was lying again, or trying to figure some way to stall me." She watched his reaction. "Please, Mrs. Summers. You must tell me what you have done with your daughter," kneeling on the floor next to her, Giles grabbed her shoulders. "Mr. Giles, I had her committed!" ~~~~~ Buffy lay on the hard bed, trying desperately to think of a way out of this situation. Her hands and feet were tied to the bed and she couldn't move. Never before had she felt so frustrated and so utterly defeated. Never before had she felt so alone. 'How could she do this to me? I'm her daughter!' Buffy thought. She knew she had to remain as calm and as sane as possible. Any trouble could only make things worse. She had stopped struggling, and lay quietly on her bed. She looked around the room, again, and saw nothing. Gray walls, gray ceiling, gray floor! 'Dammit! No wonder people go crazy in here!' A middle-aged nurse came into the room, carrying a tray. "Hello. I'm Nurse Collins. I see you've calmed down. Would you like to eat now?" "I'm not hungry. What is it going to take to get me out of here?" "You sure don't waste any time, do you?" "No. What do I have to do?" "Well, honey, you need to see a doctor. The doctor will diagnose you, and that will determine what you need to do to get out of here, OK? Now that you've calmed down, that process will speed up, a bit." The nurse smiled sympathetically. "When will the doctor be in to see me?" "He's scheduled to come in tomorrow." "Tomorrow? Are you serious? I have to be here for a full day? All night? That's crazy! I'm not crazy you know. I'm not!" "I know, honey. No one here is." The nurse smiled again at her, "Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" Buffy shook her head; the nurse shrugged her shoulders, turned and left the room. Buffy again tried to pull her arms from the restraints, but they still proved too strong for her. She lay defeated and unmoving on the bed. Her mind was racing, trying to think of some way out of this. ~~~ End Part 3 ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire Date: 19 May 1998 16:23:42 -0400 Superb. -Ingrid _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire Date: 19 May 1998 17:32:45 EDT In a message dated 98-05-19 16:27:35 EDT, ingrid29@juno.com writes: >Superb. Agreed, I really liked the story in general. I think you might want to consider making her thoughts a little clearer from what she (Cordie) says, and also I remember people other than Xander calling her Cordie, but other than that I really like it. :) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye Date: 19 May 1998 18:15:30 -0400 Title: In a Blink of the Eye Author: Northlight e-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca Summary: Kendra and Dru in Becoming, part 1. There really isn't much to it, but the end of the episode just wouldn't get out of my mind until I got this little thing out. Disclaimer: They aren't mine. :::You know him well-- this Dark One, this Great Destroyer-- You have walked with him all your young lives-- flaunted him, taunted him, tilted with him-- and you'd always gotten away unscathed... until now::: Uncanny X-Men #96 ********** Slayer and Vampire, as it had always been. Hunters both, their bodies singing within the presence of the other. They met in a flurry of swirling skirts and creaking leather, falling into the rhythms of the dance between Slayer and Vampire. Instinctive aggression was channelled into swinging fists and feet as Kendra and Druscilla met. Kendra's eyes filled with the determination to fulfill her duty. This was her destiny-- this is what she was. There was nothing else, there never had been. She was the Slayer. The thrill of the hunt surged through Druscilla as she met the Slayer blow for blow. This was what she was-- a hunter, a killer. The power and violence thrilled her. Her head sang with it. It was over within moments, vampire victorious. Slayers had fallen beneath the hands and fangs of their prey before, as would the Slayer who never should have awakened to her destiny. Druscilla's hand cupped Kendra's face, holding her steady as she backed the child into the counter. They stood face to face, neither Slayer or Vampire moving. One pair of eyes filled with victory, the other with the recognition of her death. "Look at me, deary." The vampire's voice was a soft coo, unexpected. Kendra found herself unable to resist that smooth, insistent voice. Her eyes raised unwillingly, focusing on Druscilla's slim finger. "Be in my eyes." Blood red nails hovered before the girl's eyes. "Be in me." The nails drifted towards Druscilla's eyes, pointing into their depths. And the Slayer was pulled into the them, riding the soft wave of her voice. Their eyes locked. Druscilla swayed from side to side, Kendra echoing her movements. Back and forth. Druscilla's fingers twitched in anticipation. Back and forth. She struck out. Her nail slashed across the smooth skin of Kendra's neck. Red nails dyed by the Slayer's blood. Without a whimper of protest, Kendra dropped to the ground. "Night, night." And another Slayer fell to her destiny. End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author Date: 19 May 1998 18:12:49 -0400 First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for putting up with my sporadic stories. It's been one hell of a month, but this week is the real problem. That's really my lame excuse. This week, I had the A.P. US History exam, about a dozen projects, and my research paper is due on friday. After that, things should start moving faster. Once again, thanks for putting up with my lame excuses. -Ingrid _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: AlysFaire Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author Date: 19 May 1998 18:19:26 EDT In a message dated 98-05-19 18:15:45 EDT, ingrid29@juno.com writes: << First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for putting up with my sporadic stories. It's been one hell of a month, but this week is the real problem. That's really my lame excuse. This week, I had the A.P. US History exam, about a dozen projects, and my research paper is due on friday. After that, things should start moving faster. Once again, thanks for putting up with my lame excuses. -Ingrid >> Hey Ingrid, Anyone (like myself) who's been waiting with bated breath for each new Chapter and Interlude surely knows they're worth the wait. So, relax (well, as much as possible ;P) and just concentrate on your studies. And good luck! :-) Alys ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye Date: 19 May 1998 18:33:49 EDT ::claps:: Wonderful! I like the way you've got Dru acting rationally, of all things...'cause after that stuff, man, she's _gotta_ be sane at this point. (I won't go off on my whole "Dru is sane now" theory, tho)... Anyway. I liked it a lot. :) R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nothoney@olg.com (slb) Subject: Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire Date: 19 May 1998 18:51:38 -0400 Nicely done. I don't read much poetry, but prefer sonnets when I do read it. Sad, but appropriate and nicely expressed. Sheryl NotHoney@olg.com Ravenette~Slayerette~Discoverer~BBFC "Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat." Spike, BTVS Moo: A Fan Fiction Zine http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3063 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "O'Connors" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Final Goodbyes by Trinity Day 1/1 *****Spoilers***** Date: 19 May 1998 20:27:17 -0400 S P O I L E R S P A C E TITLE: Final Goodbyes AUTHOR: Trinity Day EMAIL ADDRESS: trinityday@hotmail.com DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Post anywhere, but please tell me. SPOILER WARNING: Everything is up for grabs, but especially Passions and Becoming p1&2 RATING: To be safe PG-14, but not any worse than the show CONTENT WARNING: Death of some characters SUMMARY: Post-episode vignette. What Buffy is thinking at the end of the season finale DISCLAIMER: I don't own Buffy & Co. Joss Whedon and the WB do. No copyright infringement intended. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please be warned that this has MAJOR spoilers for this weeks episodes, and I'm leaving a space for those people whose browsers automatically open their mail. Please don't read this until you've seen the second part of Becoming. Also feedback is very welcome, but please send it to my address, don't reply because my cousin is posting this for me. * * * My mind has been numb since down. Unable to think, everything was running on autodrive. Just now do I realize where I am, what has happened. Now all my thoughts are meshed together, tangled with each other. I try to sort them out. It's amazing. 24 hours is all it takes to change a life. Sure I've heard it before, seen it on tv, and in one of the rare books I own, read it. But I've never really KNOWN, not until it happened to me. Just a day ago, I was the happiest girl in the world. No- that's a lie. But I was happy enough, and for the first time in months, things were looking up. False hope. In the last 24 hours I've been responsible for at least 1 death, and countless injuries. Poor Willow, all she tried to do was help me. She wanted to save Angel, and in turn, he almost killed her. I remember looking at her battered body, and I knew. Xander knew too, I think. It seems his best friend had to almost die before he realized his feelings for her. They love each other. No, they aren't IN love with each other, not like Willow used to think. But they have something special. It's about time they found out. Kendra died, Willow almost, Xander got hurt, and Cordelia ran. She was the smart one. I wish they had all run. And Giles. . . Because of me, because I was too weak to kill the demon I had once welcomed into my arms. He was hurt, tortured, tormented, almost killed. Giles I mean. Forced to give a secret. One which may have destroyed the world. And shown Jenny, his love. She also died because of me. Died because I was petty and blamed her for my actions. She tried to help me, win back my trust, and she died. Her neck snapped and left as a present for her lover. Giles was a zombie when I first saw him after she died. Because I was so selfish. Because I'm so childish. How can I blame my mother for kicking me out. Who would want a murderer as a daughter. Who would want me? I fight, I burn down buildings, and I've been expelled from school twice. I've caused numerous deaths because I didn't take being the Slayer seriously. Sure I tell people all the time "I'm the chosen one, the only one who can stop them." But when push comes to shove, I stand back and whimper in the corner until someone close to me gets hurt. Often by Angel. Angel. I killed him. Not Angelus, not the demon who has been killing for the last few months, but the soul who saved my life oh so many times. The creature I made love to, the one I loved. I watched his eyes, full of betrayal when he felt my sword stab his stomach. He has been sent to hell, when it was I that was meant to go. I am the killer, not him. Well not anymore. I'm starting a new life, with no ties to my old. I'll leave this hellhole and never look back. I'll be a Slayer who actually works, who doesn't whine about her social life, or lack thereof when she should be doing her job and letting another keep their life. Let others live. I won't do anything that isn't related to slaying, won't make any new connections. Won't let any more people be harmed because of me. I look out the window. There is a sign: "You are now leaving Sunnydale. Please come back soon." I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I say my final good-byes to my life and to this town. I never want to come back. The End ***************************************************************** "Hello. My name is Inigo Montaya. You killed my father, prepare to die." --The Princess Bride ***************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Forbidden Love (2/2) Date: 19 May 1998 19:14:55 -0700 Title: Forbidden Love (2/2) By: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please send Spoiler: Not really, a little bit from one episode a long time ago, but barely mentions that. Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, these characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them. Description: Second part of Forbidden Love, which is a Willow/Angel fic Warning: Your basic sad reminiscing story Author's Note: I wrote the first part about a month ago, but I got a request for the second so I thought I better finish the second part. Hope I did the Buffy genre justice. *************************** Forbidden Love (2/2) By: Taygeta I felt his fingers gripping my neck tightly and thoughts of the night not so long ago filled my mind…the night we had become one. Feeling the coldness of his grasp, I felt their glacial quality and although they had been just so before, they were without the love that I knew…that I felt…was Angel. Salty tears wet my lashes as I closed my eyes, feeling the pain of heartache and sadness that came with the knowledge that he had turned to the other side. "Angel, why are you doing this?" I whispered softly, through dry and chapped lips, aware of the presence of my friends, who were waiting for their moment to strike. "I'm not Angel anymore," he said threateningly as his eyes met mine and despite my knowledge of his crossing over, it still surprised me to see in him this abominable demon…this soulless creature. "No…you're not," I replied, feeling the parchedness of my throat as it tightened with every sob I held within. And that was the last time we exchanged words…the last time he held me in his arms…the last time I felt his touch against my skin. It wasn't fair…this forbidden love of ours. Met and expressed in a night that would forever be remembered in our hearts…a night that is lost in the sands of time in which a soul and the truth of my Angel's heart are gone with it. Yet, the unjust continues as the thorns of the beautiful rose of our love that bloomed continue to grow sharper. These barbs stick to me like pins in the realization that I can't express my anger, my sadness…my fear. I'm left to pick myself up from the scattered shards of my heart…of my soul…to be the solitary Willow…the steadfast best friend of the girl that must be in true pain. My pain is true…although I can't say it is more sincere than Buffy's…for I don't know the extent of her suffering. I only know that mine reach into the depths of who I am and of who I used to be. My words of comfort to her echo to my ears as I soon as they spilt for my lips and I wonder why I try when they, though after much reiteration, have given me neither solace nor persuasion that they are the truth. I can't begin to count how many times I have said, "He's gone…there was nothing you can do…it isn't your fault…" Every time those words were uttered…or heard…I just wanted to react in anger over the mendaciousness of such vacuous assurances. And what are they, in the end, but just mere words off of the unenlightened? Words that can't erase the pain of a love doomed from the start…a forbidden love embedded forever in the mind…and the heart. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Black Fire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (5/5) Date: 20 May 1998 08:36:49 PDT Title: Mazes of the Mind Author: Black Fire Email: blackfire42@hotmail.com Feedback: If you wish Summary: It's Angelus vs. Angel in the world of nightmares. But it's over now. After last night, I haven't the heart to continue with my original idea. And besides that, the idea wasn't doing so well. Disclaimers: I make no claims to Angel, Angelus or any other Buffy character that shows up. Rating: PG Mazes of the Mind 4 Angelus woke up with a start. He had had the strangest feeling that he was falling. He looked around. He was in his own room at the house. And Drusilla was standing over him. "My poor Angel," she said as she knelt beside him. "You were having a nightmare." "I was?" he asked as he sat up. She only nodded. "You started thrashing all about." She pouted. "I tried to wake you but you wouldn't get up." "Oh." "What's this?" Spike asked as he wheeled himself into the room. "Is the big bossman having bad dreams?" "Shut up, rollerboy," Angelus growled. "But it's alright now," Dru cooed as she embraced him. "Yeah babe," Angelus said as he returned the jesture and stood up. "Come now," Dru finally said, "I have a little present for you." She took him by the hand and led him out of the room. As they left, a sense of relief flooded through Angelus. The nightmare he had been having was finally over.... Or was it? For as he left the room, he thought he heard the faint remnants of laughter. He turned, but no one was there. But all the same, the ghostly figure of himself watched, smiling... and laughing. ~Ende...~ ...or is it? -- So what did you think? The Black Fire | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat." Blackfire42@hotmail.com | -Angel (IG) http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203 "But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_ "I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Leslie S." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: General Writing Resource Date: 20 May 1998 11:02:34 PDT Hey all you fanfic writers! I came across this site while *not* working at work today. It seems to be a fairly good general writing resource including problematic word choices, general usage, etc. It might be worth checking out. (But then again, I think purple socks go with everything!! So who am I to say?) http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~brians/errors/errors.html ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Tower" (1/1) Date: 20 May 1998 14:50:48 EDT Notes: The origin of this poem is somewhat odd...I'm working on a fic about Angelus and a Tarot reading, and when I did a reading on him so I'd have cards to use, the card that came up as the significator for him (that's the card that supposedly represents the querent, in this case Angelus) came up as the Tower-- which means a sudden and violent change. Okay, so I thought that was pretty cool...then after last night's episode, I realized it hadn't meant the sudden change I'd *thought* it would mean. One of the other cards I picked up had a burning phoenix on it, which also seemed to apply to Angelus/Angel...At any rate, this is the poem that came out of it...Buffy/Angel angst sort of thing, in some ways. Disclaimer: All standards apply. Distribution:Not without my permission, please. Comments: Yes, please! To KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ "Tower" tarot tower burning bright phoenix in the fire light dreams of dust and darkened depths black as storms and cold as death. demon hiding formed of fear music playing far from here careless whispers from the heart only life keeps us apart. changing faces shifting high quicker than seen by the eye changing faces altered schemes tower crumbles no more dreams. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Haunting Eyes" (1/1) Date: 20 May 1998 14:55:40 EDT Notes: Thanks (curses?) to Natassia for the inspiration on this one, bringing up Angel's wonderfulhurtsad eyes. This one is from Buffy's POV, to Angel. Spoilers to "The Becoming, II" in here. Distribution: Not without my permission. Comments: Yes, please! To KylenRevik@aol.com. Disclaimers: All standard ones apply. ~ "Haunting Eyes" I haven't slept Since you passed on and the image of your eyes became etched in my mind I love you but in love I had betrayed and now with your new life did so again Please, if you can hear me calling Please, if you can see through my lies Please, for I deserve no mercy Please leave me alone with your haunting eyes. I haven't thought except to dream The nightmares I've lived with my typical skill I love you But that meant destroying you Listening to the selfish whispers of a broken heart How could I have stopped this madness? How could I have done otherwise? How could you ever show mercy? How could I stay away from your haunting eyes? I've not forgotten a moment of our time How together we shared the world I love you Even that didn't save you Seems nothing in life or love can ever be rescued. Tell me my fight's not forever Tell me the shadows hide no ill surprise Then tell me you'll somehow forgive me And tell me you've closed your haunting eyes. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: Sorrowful Regrets (1/?) Date: 20 May 1998 15:14:59 EDT Title: Sorrowful Regrets (1/?) Author: Michelle Email Addy: Aglx@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: All episodes up to Becoming Part 2 Feedback: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Disclaimer: Buffy and the gang belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, etc. The Story and the characters not part of the regular cast are mine! Sumary: This is a look into Spike's past. It takes place right after Becoming Part 2. I didn't write this in haste, I just took my story and changed the time from the end of Innocence to the end of Becoming. *************** The rain poured heavily onto the roof. It leaked through the large windows, sending lakes of water flowing across the ground. They were perched peacefully on the top of a staircase. Her unconscious body lay across his lap. He ran her fingers through his dark hair, admiring every detail of her pale face. He had to keep her out cold until they were safely away from that bloody Sunnydale. Even though Angel was out of their lives, their love would never survive. There was no way she would ever forgive him. ~ ~ ~ "Excuse me sir? Are you lost?" A beautiful young woman walked shyly towards him. "Yes? How'd you guess?" "One of my specialties. Where are you headed?" "Uh, actually, I don't know. I'm trying to find a place to stay in this bloody town." "Ah, I see. Well, let me show you the way. A friend of mine owns a hotel. I'm sure he'll give you a good deal." "Why, thank you." He smiled and offered his arm. She took it and led the way down the street. They walked in silence for several minutes, each afraid to say a word. She took a turn down a alleyway and he looked around worriedly. "Uh, where are we going?" "You said you wanted a place to stay didn't you?" "Yeah, but I wasn't planning on sleeping on the streets," he said looking over the trash that lined the narrow pathway. "Don't worry. I'm taking you to my friend. He'll fix you up." The girl smiled to herself, avoiding eye contact with him. She was pleased with her findings. He was young and lonely, perfect for Angel. "Here we are," she said softly as she stopped and waited. "Here?" Spike looked around. There was nothing to be seen but darkness. "Angel?" "Well, it isn't exactly what I was looking for, but he'll do. Be off with you now." The girl broke away from his grasp. and ran out of the ally. Angel walked slowly out of the shadows and approached the dark haired man. "It is quite nice tonight, isn't it?" "Uh, I'm looking for a room. I was told you could help me." "Oh, I can help you alright." Angel turned his back and just stood there for a moment. "So, do you have a room or not?" Angel snapped around and sunk his teeth into the man's neck. After a few seconds, he let the weak body fall to the ground. As he knelt down next to the body, Angel bit open his wrist and placed it over the man's mouth. He was too weak to protest. Blood trickled into his mouth and slowly down his throat. It only took a few seconds for everything to change. His life as he knew it was coming to an end and a new one would begin. End Part 1. What do you think so far? There will be more coming soon! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "N. Galuzo" Subject: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire Date: 20 May 1998 13:01:23 -0700 (PDT) I don't get one thing. What does fire have to do with anything in this? I might sound stupid, but I just don't get it. Natalya. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Sorrowful Regrets & Other Stuff... Date: 20 May 1998 16:02:05 EDT In a message dated 98-05-20 15:17:50 EDT, Aglx@aol.com writes: >End Part 1. What do you think so far? There will be more coming soon! I like the concept...a few things I noticed. Dru seemed slightly sane, if that was indeed she...I think it could have used a bit more description, etc, after the first scene-- 'cause the first scene was really good as far as capturing the kind of mood I'd think Spike'd be in after "Becoming"... I think that's all for now...basically, all I can say is that you might want to add some more description and such, and watch Dru's sanity level...and although I know Joss made it seem like Angel was sorta guillible as far as letting Darla change him went, I think Spike'd be slightly more acute than to let himself be guided away with an excuse like "My friend can get you a room"...keep in mind the time period here, there were cutthroats all around and he might not have been *that* eager to go off with some lady who walked up to him in the street...well, that's where the description would come in, at any rate-- say something about "Oh my god, she's effin' gorgeous", possibly, or some other sort of reason as to why he's so willing to just _go_. Here's what I mean... << They walked in silence for several minutes, each afraid to say a word. She took a turn down a alleyway and he looked around worriedly. "Uh, where are we going?" >> Then she goes on and he sort of accepts the reason she gives him, but personally I think he'd question it a bit more strongly, unlessy ou want to give reasons why not in the fic, which would also be okay. :) IMO, that's something a lot of people (myself included) have trouble with-- explaining the _whys_ of characters and how they work. The same way you need to show some monumental change in a character by taking the reader step-by- step, you also have to explain the little things. Example. Say you're writing a story, and in order for the story to "work", Buffy has to fall madly in love with Xander. (::'shippy sigh::) Well, it's been pretty well established by this point that she's not planning on ever getting down an' dirty with Xandie-boy, so you'd have to *show* her going through the changes-- and the _process_ of doing this lets the reader follow your logic, point to point to point, and follow along with the story better. It also helps the reader suspend their disbelief at the situation: that Buffy would fall for Xander and be completely head over heels for him WITHOUT the magic spell-- so that they can sit back and enjoy the story. Anyway, I realize I've sort of drifted off-topic here, but the basic point is that I think people should take a little more time to try and justify the actions of their characters in their stories, 'cause it makes the whole reading-experience thing a lot more satisfying. And Michelle? Like I said earlier, I did enjoy the story. Give some thought to the idea of splaining better, though, which goes for justabout everybody here plus me. :) ('Cause I know how easy it is to get soooo caught up in things that you forget not everybody is crawling around in your brain. Thank God. 'Cause there's no more room up there!) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: Off-Topic: David Borneaz Chat Date: 20 May 1998 16:09:06 EDT Sorry for the off-topic post, but I thought people might want to know that David Borneaz is gonna be on AOL tonight at 8 PM EST. Dunno 'bout the rest of you, but that news gave _me_ a happy. :) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:Final Goodbye 1/1 Date: 20 May 1998 18:46:09 EDT TITLE: Final Goodbye AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMERS: Joss Wheden, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc. own the Buffy characters. RATING: PG SPOILERS: None. If you haven't seen Becoming yet, though, you don't want to read this. SUMMARY: This is a letter that Buffy wrote to Giles after she killed Angel. (He hasn't found it yet.) FEEDBACK: PLEASE!!! Be nice. I wrote this in about ten minutes. I taped the show and have just watched it, and I wanted to write while I still had the sad feeling. * Dear Giles, I'm so sorry. Sorry that I let them take you, sorry that Kendra died, sorry that I didn't say a real goodbye. As you probably already know, I am wanted for murder. They found me at the scene of the crime, and I resisted arrest. Because of this, Snyder expelled me. Mom found out I'm a Slayer. Please help her cope. I know how hard it is going to be on her. Tell her I love her. Spike and I teamed up to kill Angel. We made a deal: he helps me kill Angel, I let him and Dru leave the country. He promised that I'll never hear from him again. Oddly enough, he kept his end of the bargain. He and Dru are far from here. I met the Whistler at your house. He told me that I needed to kill Angel with the sword in order to stop Akaflah. I came back to the school, got your sword, and went to the mansion to stop Angel. While I was busy fending off some other vamps, Angel pulled the sword out. We fought, and he cut me. I almost had him, but then his eyes started glowing and he looked down. When he looked up, he had no idea what was going on or where he was. Willow must have performed the curse, because he was my Angel. We kissed, and Akaflah started the spell. The vortex started, and I told Angel to close his eyes. Then, as hard as it was, I stuck the sword in him. I can't stay. As much as I want to go back to having my life, I can't. It's too painful. I'm leaving Sunnydale for good. Please don't try to find me; it's better this way. Tell the gang I love them, I'll miss them, and I'm sorry I can't say goodbye. I love you Giles. I'll miss you more than words can say. Please forgive him. Forgive him for me. With all my love, Buffy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC: Final Goodbye 2/2 Date: 20 May 1998 20:36:51 EDT TITLE: Final Goodbye AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMERS: Joss Wheden, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc. own the Buffy characters. RATING: PG SPOILERS: None. If you haven't seen Becoming yet, though, you don't want to read this. SUMMARY: This is a letter that Buffy wrote to her mother after she killed Angel. (He hasn't found it yet.) AUTHOR'S NOTE: At first I had only decided to write 1 letter, but after some positive feedback :), I decided to do this. FEEDBACK: PLEASE!!! Be nice. I wrote this in about ten minutes. I taped the show and have just watched it, and I wanted to write while I still had the sad feeling. * Dear Mom, I'm sorry I couldn't explain about being a Vampire Slayer or why I have lied to you for the past two years. I have wanted to tell you so many times why I have come home with bloody clothes, have been in fights, or have not done well in school. I have come so close to blabbing everything. Even though you may have thought that to have been better than lying, it wouldn't have been. If you knew, you would be in even more danger than you are already in. I was just trying to protect you. Here's the basic explanation: In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. It just happens that I'm the Slayer. At first I didn't accept it. (Kinda like you.) I've finally delt with it. I didn't chose this, and I definitely don't want it; but I don't have a say. A little over a year ago I met Angel. He's a vampire who was cursed with a soul. If he experienced one moment of true happiness, his soul would be taken from him. I love him, and he loved me. He's saved my life more than once. In January, (the night of my birthday actually) as I told you, we made a mistake. He lost his soul and was the demon Angelus again. He killed Ms. Calendar. Last night, he tried to awake a demon that would suck the earth into hell by taking a sword out of him. He was able to take the sword out before I could stop him. While we were fighting, Angel's soul was given back to him. We kissed, but I had to kill him to stop the demon. I am leaving Sunnydale for a number of reasons. I was expelled from school for resisting arrest. I am still wanted for murder. The only way to protect you and save the world is to start a new life. There are too many painful memories here. Please don't try to find me. I love you and I'll miss you. If you have any more questions, talk to Mr. Giles. He'll help you. All my love, Buffy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: POEM: "Somewhere" Date: 20 May 1998 20:40:17 -0400 DISCLAIMER: What is it? I just thought (minimally) and wrote. No guarantees.... Damn. Am I really sending this to the list? Ugh. *** "Somewhere," by Ingrid *** Maybe somewhere those eyes are rejoicing and they're still bright and shining with trust. Maybe somewhere you're the one crying and I'm the one with the blade through my heart. Maybe somewhere things ended differently and justice was served and I'm gone. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aeja Kim (by way of Keith Lockhart, ) Subject: BUFFYFIC: [Fwd: Petition: Save Angel of BTVS] Date: 21 May 1998 00:05:35 -0000 Hi, Fellow Angel Lovers,I am sending a petition to Buffy the Vampire Slayer protesting the Death of Angel. Please pass this on to everyone u know, and then send it back to me so I can keep track of how many have signed it and send it to Joss Whedon of BTVS. Angel is more popular than Buffy and we have a right to what we want when it comes to Angel. The purpose of this petition is to make sure Angel returns next year. As a Website owner I could really use your help. Thank-you Please e-mail me at Slayer525@aol.com Thank-you ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: BMTHESPIAN Subject: DICUSS:Re: BUFFYFIC: [Fwd: Petition: Save Angel of BTVS] Date: 20 May 1998 21:48:40 EDT I just got of the AOL chat with DB and he said that he would definatly be back next season. To quote he said "I'm not going anywhere" So there isn't any need for this. Brandi ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Regarding that "Save Angel" Petition... Date: 20 May 1998 22:39:04 EDT I just came from a chat with David himself, and he told the entire chat group (twas on AOL at eight) that not only is Angel NOT gonna die (he's in hell, not dead), but he's also getting his own series in 99! :) So nobody worry. :) Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jill Kirby Subject: BUFFYFIC: Admin: What's On-Topic Date: 20 May 1998 21:53:05 -0500 (CDT) What's on-topic for this list? I've seen a couple questions in that vein today, as well as a number of off-topic posts. Directly from the list rules: > This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire >Slayer," both the TV series and the movie. and... >Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist. Please put >"DISCUSS" in your subject line. and... >Discussion that is not related directly to the fiction should go over >to the general Buffy list. This list is for posted fiction and discussion of posted fiction only. General Buffy talk-- "save Angel" petitions (which are, fortunately, not needed ), discussion of the actors, etc. should be over on the regular Buffy list-- not here. Thanks. Hope this clears things up for everyone. Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: POEM: "This Was Not Meant to Be" Date: 21 May 1998 01:34:24 -0400 Disclaimer: Once again, my evil twin, "bad poetry girl" wrote this, not me. Don't blame me- I didn't do it, I swear! *** "This Was Not Meant to Be" by Ingrid ('s evil twin) *** Something inside that's fair and right and merciless says "This was not to be." And your hold has always been flimsy. Have you ever truly even held him once? You can't enjoy hapiness: It's a coat you stole from somebody deserving. And the crowd looks on and hisses. How easily it would be to loosen the fingers, one by one To relax the hand in sleep To let him go To sink down into that squashed tomato juice on stage and hear the applause upon your dying breath Yet the fingers can't come loose something has jammed (perhaps your unauthorized heart?) And you sneer at the crowd and tightly squeeze the hand passing corruption in blood and tomatoes but his makes yours sweet. You sigh. Something inside that's fair and right and merciless says "This was not to be." *** FIN _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Capeside: the Hellmouth (8/?) Date: 20 May 1998 23:57:59 -0700 Name: Capeside: the Hellmouth #8 Cutting In Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please send Uses in anything: Ask me first. Spoiler: Not really, considering that this is a crossover story. Description: A crossover with Buffy and Dawson's Creek Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creator Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. The Dawson's Creek characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Dawson's Creek are the property of its creator Kevin Williamson, and its owners. In other words, these characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them. Rating: PG ********************************** Capeside: the Hellmouth #8 Cutting In By: Taygeta Willow bit her lower lip slightly as she danced slowly with Oz, and all the while she thought the oddity that a witch and a wizard were actually in the same room with each other and not making the roof cave in with warring spells. For as long as she had known him, they had never even talked, let alone start ancient rivalry wars. And now, as she was beginning to see a side in him that she had never seen before, she was beginning to wish that they had settled past differences long ago. "Oz, how do you suppose that witches and wizards ever got to be such enemies?" she asked him when they sat down after the music had ended, despite the intensity of the magical rivalry, no one had ever told her how it began. "You know, I'm not too sure about it, but my best guess is that somehow a really important witch and wizard got into a big argument that divided up the whole magic community," he replied, but then he frowned. "It's funny that we're battling about something and we don't even know how it began and what are we battling about." "Well, Oz, I'm glad we're not fighting, maybe that's a start," she replied, and as she was feeling abnormally light-headed talking with him, she hoped that it was more than just a start. "Let's hope it's not only a start," he said with a grin, as if he had almost read her mind, and as he was a wizard, Willow was unsure as to whether he hadn't. Noticing her blushing cheeks, he continued, "Um…I'm going to get us some punch." Oz went to the punch bowl and saw that there were a few guys standing near the refreshment table laughing. He frowned as he filled the ladle slightly and poured a miniscule amount into the cup. The taste of vodka was noticeable in his sampling and he knew that even a decanter full of this could make the average teenager go nauseous. Waving his right hand above the red liquid, he closed his eyes, and continued to do so despite the subsiding of the laughs around him. The water bubbled slightly as Oz's lips mumbled a quick spell that cleansed the punch of the vodka and when he sipped his decanter, he grinned, glad that the spell had worked. He poured another cup for Willow and walked towards their tables. "Hey, you'd never guess the kind of spell I just…" he trailed off, stopping in mid-sentence when he saw that Willow was no where to be seen. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Joey glanced at the dance floor with a sigh, and her eyebrows raised slightly and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw that Xander and Druscilla were dancing…very, very closely. She would have gawked longer; if it hadn't been for a certain blonde vampire that she noticed had entered the Bronze. Immediately, she began to check herself over, just to make sure she didn't have a spot on her new dress or spinach in her teeth. He smiled slightly, sensing her nervousness as he approached her, and he thought it weird that he was feeling a little bit apprehensive as well. Dawson couldn't help but notice how beautiful Joey looked tonight, but the knowledge he gained from taking in her radiant countenance was that her beauty could never compare to who she was from within. "Hey, Joey," he said softly as her eyes met his, "Um…mind if I sit down?" "Sure, go ahead, I don't mind at all…have a seat," she said, and upon realizing she was blabbering, her cheeks flushed. "Thanks," Dawson replied as he sat down on a black chair across from her, "So, uh…long time no see, what's been going on?" Joey smiled at his attempts to make conversation in this awkward meeting, "Nothing much, since Pacey and Cordelia have laid off on their attacks, and therefore they haven't done anything reprehensible…why does knowing that make me worry?" "They could attack at any minute…any second," he said and as he looked around at the dance that was going on, "They could attack here." Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open in an agape expression as she looked at the dance floor, "There must be over 100 people here…it would be a massacre! We have to tell Buffy." Dawson and Joey got up from their seats and made their way to where Buffy and Angel sat quietly, whose eyes fixed firmly on the dance floor. "Hey, guys, we think that Pacey and Cordelia are going to attack the Bronze," the brunette told the vampire slayer. "What?" she said, her brain going from teenager-staring-into-space mode to teenager-with-responsibilities--that-happens-to-be-the-slayer mode. "It's the perfect location," Angel replied as he glanced around the teen coffeehouse, "It'll be like vampire tea time." "Wait a minute, Dawson," Buffy said as she glanced at him with urgency, "how did you get in?" "There's a sign above the Bronze that says, 'WELCOME TO THE…'" he said, "Any vampire can get in here." "Or they could already be here," Joey said as her widened eyes glanced at Pacey and Cordelia, who had walked in with about 10 other vampires behind them. Buffy stood up indignantly and replied as she walked towards them, "Then, I'll just have to kick them out." "Dawson, go get Xander and Jen," Angel said as he stood up to follow Buffy. "Why don't you?" he replied…he hated to miss the action, but Angel was already out of earshot. "Look who they're with, Mr. Genius," Joey answered sardonically as she turned his head to the dance floor. "Oh," he said with a weak grin, "Why don't you get Xander and I'll get Jen? We can just cut in on the dances." Dawson walked towards Jen and Spike and he tapped his shoulder, all the while saying, "May I cut in?" Although he looked annoyed, he relinquished his dance partner to the intruder. "What are you doing?" she asked with a sigh as she saw her date walk towards the punch bowl. "It's urgent, Jen," he replied as he shifted his eyes towards the door and she followed his glance. "Uh-oh," she said as she saw Pacey and his counterparts standing by the entrance. They stopped dancing to join Buffy and Angel, and following not so far behind them were Xander and Joey. "Dinnertime, Children," Cordelia said with a smile as she saw the mass of hormonal teenagers just standing there waiting to be eaten. "Sorry…but dinner's been officially cancelled," the slayer replied with stake in hand. "You're not stupid enough to challenge us to a fight in here, are you?" Pacey responded sensing the liters of fresh, young blood in the room. "Stupid? No," she said shaking her head as she absently played with the wooden stave in her hand, "You won the stupidity award when you first stepped in here, and challenging doesn't involve stupidity at all because I've seen you fight…you're not going to win." "Perhaps I already have, my pretty Slayer," Pacey said as he smiled at the uncertain Buffy who had no idea what he was talking about, "Boys…bring her in." "What are you - " she began, but her jaw dropped as the vampire lackeys brought in their captive…Willow Rosenberg. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: G90210 Subject: BUFFYFIC: BBETA:Life's A Bitch (5/?) Date: 21 May 1998 19:26:21 EDT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was just a thought I had one day. Because Buffy has to deal with stuff, most people don't think exist(right they don't, come on now for my own mentalness, they don't!) What about when she has to face real stuff, like real diseases. I don't know why I thought of this, but oh well I did. TITLE: Life's A Bitch AUTHOR: mInDy (G90210@aol.com or LoveAVamp@aol.com) SUMMARY: I don't know how to write one to this, so read.......it's about Buffy and Angel for those of you who it matters too. SPOILERS: None at the moment. TIME LINE: After S/I IMPORTANT: Angel IS good in my story, he does has soul, and the curse can't be broken this time. DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!! WARNING: Look at the title and the language will be explained. Life's A Bitch by:mInDy ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Angel was listening to his radio, waiting on Buffy and Willow to get back. He was very worried about all of this. He knew Buffy could handle vampires, demons, whatever, and he knew she would get through this.....but how could he help? With the vampires and demons, he could help her fight them, tell her she beat the master, she could kill them. But this was different, this was something he never knew much about. He wanted her to be ok, he wanted it to be like it was going to be, how he had planned it to be this whole week, but now it wasn't going to be. Someone was opening his door. He went to see who it was. There she was, by herself, he guessed Willow dropped her off and left the two of them be alone. Angel didn't know what to do, he just stood there staring at her. She didn't look like Buffy, his Buffy, just a copied of image of her. Her face wasn't as full of life as it had been. Her eyes were, a pale green, and not the emarald color he loved so much. Her face was deathly pale, almost the color of his, except she had a hint of rose coloring from the heat outside. She walked over to him and just looked at him. She needed him now, she knew in her heart that it wasn't his fault. She would never blame it on him. She walked a little closer to him, and put her arms around her neck, holding him, needing him to hold her too. And he did just that. He put his arms around her, and completed the hug, pulling her closer. He had no idea on what to do right now, just to hold her and never let go. To never let another man hurt her like that again. To always love her, till death do they part, and then in heaven. Which, he knew he could. A song in the background played, that fit the moment so right, they started swinging lightly to the music. The song could've been sung from both of them, at different parts, it sounded like the other one was singing. And when the song was over, they didn't stop their dance. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* End Part 5 TBC.......FEEDBACK PLEAZE!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jessica Dubois Subject: BUFFYFIC: Angel's Hope (1/1) Date: 21 May 1998 20:38:55 -0400 Title: Angel's Hope (1/1) Author: Jessica Dubois E-mail: Jessica.Dubois@sympatico.ca Distribution: Please ask first. It'll be archived eventually at my own site, The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells, Rating: PG Summery: A companion piece to Willow's Challenge, it's in Angel POV. Disclaimer: I don't own Willow or Angel. Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, and 'Grr Arg' do. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made. Feedback: Yes, please. Angel's Hope By: Jessica Dubois Angel dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he headed towards the Bronze. He had checked on Buffy, and she was doing fine. Besides, for once, it felt wrong to be lurking. He thought that maybe in the Bronze, he might not feel like such an intruder. His eyes scanned the Bronze, as they always did when he entered, for any signs of a threat. He might pretend to be human, but he was still a predator at heart. A faint smile came to his mouth as he saw Willow sitting alone at a table. She was staring off into space, and stirring her drink incessantly. He slipped into a corner, and continued to watch her. The pretty hacker seemed almost... sad. Willow was the closest thing he had to a friend. While he might... feel for Buffy, it was impossible for them to be truly friends, especially with the Slayer/Vampire thing in front of them. Xander was a rival for Buffy's affections, which ruled him out, and Giles... Angel smirked. Giles was still wary of him, and worried that his relationship with Buffy would get her harmed, or worse, killed. No, Willow was the only one even close to being a friend to him, his first friend since he had been a boy back in Ireland. He moved towards her, a smile coming to his lips as he saw how happy she seemed to see him. She sat up straight, a smile coming to her lips, and even from here, he could see the light dancing in her eyes. "How are you, Willow?" he asked as she looked up at him. He motioned as to whether he could sit, as he examined her face. She seemed pale, but her face lit up with a smile, as she quickly nodded. "Good. If you're looking for Buffy, she's out patrolling." she told him. Angel felt a smile curving his lips. He didn't know what it was about Willow, but he had a hard time being aloof around her. It was almost as if she DEMANDED he participate, and that there wasn't any way around it. "I know. But vamp activity is pretty low right now. So she'll be fine." He didn't mention that he hadn't felt comfortable around her. "I thought that since Xander was away, you might like some company." He saw Willow's face explode in happiness. "I could always use company. Especially since I rarely see you, and you rarely talk, and we really..." Angel felt another smile tugging at his lips. Willow was so... normal. It was nice. He noticed her look down, and he could sense the blood rushing into her face, even though he couldn't see it. And he heard her mumble, "And I really should be quiet now." Angel chuckled softly. "It's alright, Willow. I don't mind if you babble. It almost makes me feel... normal." And it did. And that scared him. He wasn't normal, and never would be. He had to remember that. "You are normal," Willow shot back at him. "In a..." Willow sputtered to a stop, realizing how silly her statement was. "Ok, you're not normal. You're special, and you deserve to feel happy." Angel grunted at that, a discordant negative sound. He didn't deserve to be happy. After all he'd done, he didn't deserve happiness, or the second chance Willow was trying to offer. "You do," Willow insisted. "You're a great guy, and a great friend. You help people, and if it weren't for you, Buffy, Xander and I would probably be dead." Angel had been growing more and more uncomfortable as she went on, and couldn't help what he said next. It was pure instinct. "Don't say that." "It's true," she said softly. screamed something inside him. "And I want to thank you for it." Angel looked at her, all his guilt and sadness reflecting in his eyes. He had to get out of here. She meant well, but she didn't understand... "I didn't do anything." He glanced around the Bronze, while desperately trying to control the emotions raging through him. When he realized that he couldn't, he moved to get up, while muttering, "I should go." Willow put a hand on his arm, and he turned to look at her. He thought, as the lights glinted from her hair. "Angel, I'm your friend, and I'm always here for you. Remember that, ok?" Willow looked so hopeful. He gave a quick nod, and headed for the exit to the Bronze. He needed space, without the people crowding around him. He ended up on the roof of the Bronze. It was always tranquil there, even with the noise filtering through from below. He thought back to his conversation with Willow. 'Angel, I'm your friend...' Friend. He hadn't had a real friend in... centuries. Perhaps... Perhaps this time would be different. Perhaps he could really have a friend again. It might be a futile hope, but then again, what else could he do, but hope? Fin Feedback, Please! Should I do more of these? -- "Ours is a forbidden love." - Willow, Lie to Me "She's dancing... Dancing with Death!" - Drucilla, IOHE4U Keeper of Willow's Spellcasting Ability Visit my Site The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/295/index.html ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Aglx Subject: BUFFYFIC: POEM: Unwanted Date: 21 May 1998 22:09:10 EDT Title: Unwanted Type: Poem/Song Rating: G all the way. Author: Michelle (Aglx@aol.com) Spoilers: Kinda. It would be best if you saw Becoming before reading this. Notes: This is a sappy, depressing poem that I wrote. It has nothing to do with me or anything. I wrote it for a school project (weird project) and then I made it into a song when I started song writting. Feedback: Please, but off-list. This is a poem I wrote a long time ago. It was turned into a song when I got into song writting and now, after seeing "Becoming" I realized it really fits with the way Buffy is probally feeling. So, I'm sharing it with all of you. ~~~ A life unwanted, unasked for, Where fantasies never come true. Dreams become your worst nightmares, And time will never undo. The pain in my heart grows stronger. Everything I had, now gone. You've left me alone forever, But I must continue on. The sky, so dark, so lonely. The song in my heart so sad. A new start is my only hope, Since I've lost everything I had. A life unwanted, unasked for. A future that will never last. My destiny chosen against my will. My life will go by so fast. ~~~ E-mail me off list and let me know what do you think? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Conor Subject: BUFFYFIC: OFF TOPIC!!!: BUFFY MAILING LISTS Date: 21 May 1998 22:51:20 -0400 I know I'm not supposed to post other than fiction, but I was wondering if someone could give me the address for a regular Buffy list. thanks, -R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "We Were Children" (2/4) Date: 21 May 1998 22:50:58 EDT See part 1 for disclaimers. E-mail KylenRevik@aol.com for missing pieces. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ II. We were children. Forever delighting in smashing what we passed and not cleaning up the rubble in our wake. We were children. A gang of three, rowdy and playful, delighting in the sheer mysteries posed by ourselves and each other. We were children as we gulped the wine we weren't allowed to touch, and tormented small animals that walked on two legs and felt, and did not know why they were the targets we had selected. But neither did we, for we were children. We were children, and as careless with those toys as if they had been made of wood and not flesh and blood. We were children without parents to guide us or a conscience to tell us we'd misbehaved. With no boundaries and no reason to care had we crossed them. We were children as we traveled the countrysides and divided two against one then one against two, our loyalties shifting. Those of children often do. But unlike children, the grudges were never held too long, for we were also something more: A family. A band of roaming gypsies at night. And all we had was each other. We were children and in death understood only that we'd been granted eternal life without the rules which already lay broken at our feet. Childhood lasting forever, with each other. But like any group of playmates, we children argued, only to make up, heal the breaks The mendings were shoddily done but served the needs of the past. Like children, we cared little for the quality so long as the job was done and we could go on in our blood-sweetened innocence, pretending all had been healed. We stared down pronouncing ourselves gods. Two boy-kings and their queen out to rule the world or destroy it. If it wasn't ours, it would be no-one's. We were children engaged in a game we hadn't wanted until we were too deep in to climb up from the pit. We were children who thought every ill could be solved with an embrace and a bedtime snack. We were stupidly blind to the rest of the world for as long as we could be. We were helpless until we refused to be, and then it was too late. So still, we were children. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "We Were Children" (1/4) Date: 21 May 1998 22:50:43 EDT Notes: I wrote this after tuesday's episode, because it was the only way I was gonna be able to sleep. It's about the general loss of innocence that I think was seriously stepped up in that ep, on everyone's part. Thanks to Sarah for telling me "Rach, try writing some poetry" when I said I was all empty inside and couldn't write a thing. Disclaimers: Standard disclaimers apply. Distribution: Not without my express permission, please. Comments: Yes, please, to KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ We Were Children I. We were children. Living our lives and spinning till we hardly knew which way was the sun so we could turn our faces toward it. We were children. Children who had never touched life as we let the tides in the ocean of life and fate guide us. We were children, and we did as we were told when there was no reason not to. We were children and we thought that was what we would always be. We were children who never cared what time we came home or who was there to greet us, because there would always be a tomorrow and a second chance. We were children when we looked to the sky and saw the clouds overhead. We were children, and like children, we were careless. Words fell from our lips breaking like the crystal vase a child must never touch. We were naive, always looking forward or up because we were too small to see the world on level, and too weak to bend it to our wills. The wills of children awake past their bedtime and wanting to know if they could just have ten more minutes. Like children, we docily took the pat on the head and counted ourselves "lucky" for the roof the clothes the family the friends the love and our childhood innocence. We were children, an excuse that meant it was alright. To be blind was allowed, to feel was too painful and too advanced and not something we would need. Because in a world of unending horror, we were protected. We were children. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "We Were Children" (3/4) Date: 21 May 1998 22:50:59 EDT See part one for disclaimers and notes. E-mail KylenRevik@aol.com with comments or requests for missing pieces. ~ III. We were children meeting on the playground picking teams by heartbeats and diets Good and Evil Black and White Children honor no shades of grey. We battled for glory and hope and destruction and memories. We took no prisoners We spared no life We showed no mercy. We were children, and we relished the fight not seeing how it was not we who should have fought. Not for the reasons they gave us. The greyness crept in but we were children and never thought to look toward the edges Seeing none of the signs that said Black and White were merging. Warning shots were fired-- we suppose that now, looking back --But we were children and paid them no heed at the time. We were too engaged in the myopia of battle and the grand goals we had laid out As they stretched on before us forever a field marked in team colors and blood We were divided by the things every child knows are separate. We never thought to question and never wondered if by chasing the goals of the rest of the world and our ancestors we might have been killing our own dreams to live as we wished. We carried the legacies left us by past generations and never thought to wonder if like us, they too were children. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "We Were Children" (4/4) Date: 21 May 1998 22:51:01 EDT See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments and requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ~ IV. They are children. Fighting was not meant for them, and in the end we're naught but pawns, doing as we've been told for thousands of millennia. Obeying the most basic desires for right and wrong to be at odds. Behaving like children forever. They are children, asking of fate what they dare not ask for in themselves while they wish an ending from her hands. They must learn, for in time even children must rise up from the arms of their protectors to decide for themselves if they will continue to take on the fight of their parents' ancestors who went so far before and most likely were only children when they set out upon this course of action. And in the end the future and its beginning will be in the hands of these. These squabbling children Who pretend to be more and have never been less. But still, they will always be children. END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jill Kirby Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: OFF TOPIC!!!: BUFFY MAILING LISTS Date: 21 May 1998 21:58:42 -0500 (CDT) At 10:51 PM 5/21/98 -0400, Conor wrote: >I know I'm not supposed to post other than fiction, but I was wondering >if someone could give me the address for a regular Buffy list. Anyone interested in the general Buffy discussion list, go here for info: http://www.mindspring.com/~romana/buffylist/ Please note that we are not processing any new s*bscriptions to either list until after the holiday weekend. Now, back to your regular Buffy fiction. :) Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (12/?) Date: 22 May 1998 00:16:12 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #12 Determined Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG ******************************** The Chronicles of the White Knight #12 Determined By: Taygeta Cordelia held her composure when she heard the news of Xander and Buffy from various people during school. Held it still when she had to pass by him in the hall and share a class with Buffy during third period history. Never once throughout the entirety of that day did she let her poise falter, until the mere words of gossip hit her of the extent of their truth. It was by chance that she saw them in the hall that day. She had opted to take the longer route to her cheerleaders' meeting as opposed to the shorter route and had bumped into the couple in the hall. Buffy was noticeably holding hands with Xander and they had been laughing over some inside joke, but when they spotted her in the hall the laughter quickly subsided. At that moment, Cordelia came to grips with the reality that the relationship she had known with Xander was truly over in his eyes and that she had lost somehow in her scheme of things. The conversation was brief and awkward and they parted not soon after their first encounter with each other. As she walked towards the room where the meeting was to be held, something in her caused her to turn back and sit down in contemplation on a nearby bench. She couldn't conceive how it was possible that everything that she had planned to the utmost detail had gone awry. The Colin plan was the only thing that had worked, and the only problem with it was that it had worked all too well. Cordelia had wanted to make Xander jealous and she had accomplished just that, however, she had never thought that he would break up with her over one dance. She had to keep her pride, and despite the drab personality of Colin Williams and her missing Xander, that meant she had to continue to date Colin as if she liked him…which she didn't. She shook her head in frustration and in doing so she closed her eyes, and saw the image of their clasped hands had seared itself into her memory. It made her recall how she and Xander use to do the same thing, which brought her to the memories of their short, but sweet relationship. How was it that she got the short end of the stick, when she was the one that was trying so hard to keep him in her arms? There was the keyword…try, but in trying all she had succeeded was pushing him farther away from her…more than he had ever been before. A wave of realization hit her even quicker than the surge of sadness that had overcome her just minutes before. It made her realize that she was going about this all wrong by just sitting around and brooding over him. After all, she was Cordelia Chase, and what Cordelia Chase wants…she gets…no matter the cost. *********************** End of Part 12 _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jennifer M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions (4/12) Date: 22 May 1998 10:08:29 PDT TITLE: Best Intentions AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary? Up to this point, Joyce has over-reacted a bit to Buffy's secret life. If you would like the previous three parts, please just write to me and I can e-mail them back. Also, I combined a couple of parts, so the total number has changed. RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1? (My version is definitely different than Becoming 2!) THANKYOUS: Thanks Leslie S.! FEEDBACK: Please! Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al. The idea is mine, though! Best Intentions Part 4 Giles sat heavily on his chair. He looked at the blotchy face of the woman sitting on his cot. "Oh, my. Uh, Mrs. Summers I realize you think that is what you needed to do, but, uh, I think you've made a grave mistake. We must," he stopped and then stood up, extending his hand to her. "Come on. We have to go and get her." "No Mr. Giles. I can't do that. Not until I know what's going on with her. With you! And, I *know* what I did was best for my daughter. There are just things that don't make sense. There are so many problems right now. Her father and me, that ex-boyfriend of hers… Angel? Did you know that he's stalking her? He came to our house and threatened her! So, it's really no wonder that she's gone… That she needs some time to relax and get her feelings in order. I *really* think she needs some help." "Please Mrs. Summers, let me explain. Or, or try to..." Xander and Willow walked into the Library. "Yo! G-man! Where ya hidin'?" Xander called out. The two kids stopped at the office door when they saw him in the room with Joyce. "Mrs. Summers! What happened? Where's Buffy?" Willow asked shrilly. Her worst fear seemed to be coming true. Both she and Xander were wondering why she was absent. Willow suddenly remembered what Principal Snyder said to her earlier in the day: < "Rosenburg! Where's that delinquent friend of yours?" "Uh, sir?" she asked him. "Delinquent?" "Don't play dumb! You know who I mean!" he said, obviously frustrated. "That trouble-maker, Summers? Did she skip school again today?" he barked at her. "Um, well, I don't think so, Mr. Snyder. Buffy's not one to just…" "That's enough, Rosenburg. No need to stick up for her. You tell your 'friend' that I'm keeping my eye on her! And, she'd better make an appearance today. You're dismissed," he snapped. Willow escaped to the Computer Lab, still wondering where Buffy was. > "Uh, Willow, Xander. I think I need some time alone with Mrs. Summers. Please, why don't you, uh, go on home. I will need you back… No wait. Stay here. I think maybe the two of you can help sort this whole thing out," Giles told the teenagers. He pulled a handkerchief from his tweed jacket pocket-- and wiped his forehead. "Mr. Giles, do you really think it is a good idea to involve them? They are so young… Buffy's best friends." Joyce said sadly. "That's right, Mrs. Summers. We're Buffy's best friends, and if she's in some kind of trouble, we need to know about it. We have to help her," Xander told her. "Well, there's nothing you can do to help her right now," Joyce said quietly, looking at her hands. "Willow, go and make up a sign and lock the library doors. W-we're going to need some time to work this out. Please, hurry," Giles told the girl. Willow nodded her head and got up to do as he bid. "Xander, please, go and make us some tea." "OK, Giles." Willow and Xander left the office. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 1/?) Date: 22 May 1998 20:37:04 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION TITLE: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 1/?) AUTHOR: R. Smith (conor@dnaco.net) Rated: R for language and violence Synopsis: What happens to Buffy after she leaves Sunnydale Comments: Bring =91em on Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe, all characters and concepts are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc., etc., blah, blah blah. Chapter 1 Buffy stepped off of the bus, and looked at the sign in the terminal window. =93Welcome to Dayton, Ohio -- Birthplace of Aviation,=94 it said= .=20 She gathered her meager belongings, and headed for the door, hoping to find a cab, a hotel, and a meal, in that order. She=92d been on one bus or another for almost a week, and she was tired, travel-worn and very sick of bus station food. Right outside the terminal, she spotted the Dayton Mariott. It wasn=92t much of a hotel in comparison to those you=92d find in California, but it would have a bed, shower and restaurant, and that was enough for Buffy. She walked over to the hotel, and up to the desk. =93I=92d like a room,=94 she said to the mannequin-like desk clerk. =93How long will you be staying with us, miss?=94 replied the clerk, looking her over. =93I=92m not sure,=94 said Buffy, still too raw inside to think about th= e future, =93At least a couple of days.=94 =93That=92ll be fine,=94 said the clerk, =93that will be $126, and we=92= ll settle the rest when you check out.=94 Buffy pulled out her wallet and handed him her Visa card. She did a little mental arithmetic and determined that at this rate, she could stay in hotels for about a month before she maxxed out her card. After that, her cash would go pretty quickly. She was going to need to do something soon, or she wasn=92t going to last very long on her own. ********** The room was white; the tables , the equipment , the technicians=92 clothes, everything was the same sterile white. It radiated cleanliness to the Nth degree. No speck of dust, no matter how small, would dare to desecrate the purity of the room. Even the noises in the room were somehow muted. The hum of computers, the murmur of people talking, even the air-conditioning units that kept the environment pure, all combined to create only a minor background noise. One of the myriad consoles chirped loudly, causing every head in the room to turn toward the technician manning it. =93Sir, we have a positive contact,=94 he said, his voice clear of the room=92s sound-dulling effect. =93Where is she?=94 replied a man in a white suit without looking up fro= m a pile of papers on his desk. =93Dayton, Ohio,=94 said the technician, =93The credit card paid off. S= he=92s checked into a hotel for an indefinite period.=94 =93Do we have an agent in or near Dayton?=94 the man asked. =93Yes, sir,=94 the technician said, paging through data on his computer= , =93There=92s a minor Nether Vortex in one of Dayton=92s suburbs, nothing major, but it draws Satanists and Black Druids, and lets a demon through now and then, so we=92ve had someone in place since 1939. The current one hasn=92t had any trouble since he took over, but he=92s fully trained and well equipped.=94 =93Does he have any power?=94 After a moment, the technician replied, =93Yes, sir, he=92s a Blademaste= r, and he=92s acquired a pair of the Crusader Blades.=94 =93Damn,=94 said the man, finally looking up from his work, =93Has there= been _any_ activity at all in the area?=94 The tech paged through more data, and finally said, =93There=92s a very small Satanic cult forming in Cincinnati, but they=92re too far from Dayton to be an issue for the Slayer or our agent. Also, there=92s been some druidic magic performed in Dayton itself, trying to reach through the Vortex, we think. They=92ve had no success so far.=94 =93That=92ll change with the Slayer in town. The dark Powers won=92t be = able to stand having her and our agent in the same area. The mystical =91irritation=92 will likely cause a reaction almost immediately. Activat= e our agent, inform him of the situation, give him the girl=92s particulars and have him make contact. He is to do what he can to get her back on course, but he=92s not to push her. We can=92t have another incident like= we had in 1911. The world needs the Slayer, whole in mind and body. We can=92t afford to break her spirit, and from all reports, she=92s close t= o the edge. At least we know where she=92s at. There was some worry that she=92d been pulled into Hell with Angelus.=94 He turned back to the reports in front of him, while the technicians began compiling and sending information to their agent in Dayton. ********** The clerk handed back her card and her room key. =93There you are, miss. Enjoy your stay.=94 Buffy made her way up the elevator, down two halls and into her room. She took a shower, which made her feel a hundred times better, and, as she dried her hair, she picked up the phone to give Willow a call. She had the number about half dialed before she remembered that she was in Ohio, and had left Sunnydale without even telling Willow good-bye. *I have no one now,* she thought bleakly, *How am I going to make it without them all?* She=92d never really thought about just how much she relied on her friends to get her through her days, with the horrors she regularly faced as the Slayer. She=92d been sure that with them to help her, she=92= d actually live a long and productive life. She=92d convinced herself, whe= n she actually thought about being the Slayer, that it was the fact that they were so often alone that caused Slayers to die young. Now, she=92d given that protection up. She was truly alone for the first time since she=92d found out what she was. Tears began slowly trickling down her cheeks as she sat there, phone in hand, feeling more alone than she=92d ever felt in her young life. After a very long time, she hung up the phone, crawled under the covers, and fell into an exhausted sleep. ********** The next morning, she awoke confused, trying to figure out where she was, and how she=92d gotten there. As memory flooded back, her heart nearly broke again from her sense of loss. Finally, she got herself under control, had another shower and decided to see the city she=92d ended up in. After a breakfast that would have made a strong man groan, she took a walk. Dayton was a small, dirty town surrounded on all sides by miles and miles of suburbs. The downtown area was a mere six square blocks in size, full of run-down looking office buildings and parking lots. It had obviously once been a thriving town, but from what she could see, it was slowly fading away. She spent the day riding busses to all the outlying areas, getting the lay of the land. It didn=92t take her long to realize that there wasn=92= t much in Dayton to interest anyone. *Good,* she thought, *It=92s unlikely any monsters have taken up residence here.* The city had three malls, if you could call them that, since the largest was still small be California standards, and not too much else.=20 It pretty much fit the picture Buffy had of the mid-west, even if Dayton was a little grimier than she=92d have imagined. She did find a little coffee house called The Daily Grind that wasn=92t too far from her hotel and made a passable cappuccino, but other than that, her exploration had done little to lighten her spirits. Without even knowing it, however, she=92d made a mental note of every single graveyard she passed, paying special attention to the ones big enough to warrant mausoleums, and looking for signs of vampires in the area. She was glad to notice nothing out of the ordinary all day. *One day down,* she thought morosely, *A lifetime left to go.* By the time she got back to her hotel, it was pretty late. She=92d decided to stay in Dayton awhile, and planned to find a place that wasn=92t costing her $60 a day. She=92d worry about how a sixteen year ol= d girl was going to get work without a parent to sign for her later.=20 Face set with a grim little smile, she went to bed. ********** He=92d been working at the pell for almost an hour when he heard his computer chime. He finished his combination, ending with the sword buried in his imaginary opponent=92s neck. Sweat covered him, and the light reflected off of myriad old scars, some of them quite nasty. Almost none of them were the clean, straight scars that come from blades, and there were no bullet scars either. Instead, he looked like he=92d been mauled by animals, and not just once or twice, but often. He grabbed a towel, and walked over to his computer. One message waited for him, quite large, encoded, and bearing the address magus@thetower.com. He sat down heavily, and quickly set his computer to decoding the message. For them to send him something over the internet, it must be too important to wait on a shower. A little time later, after he=92d read through the file twice, he printe= d off the attached photo. *So young,* he thought, *Too damn young for this kind of responsibility. It=92s no wonder she bolted.* =20 He was surprised that she=92d stayed as long as she had, after reading o= f all that she=92d been through in the past couple of years. He sat a long time, memorizing her face. Had he ever been that young? He couldn=92t remember, he=92d been through too much, himself.=20 =93Get her back on track,=94 the message had said, but he wasn=92t sure = that he could do that to her. She wasn=92t the guardian of some pretty much podunk town, she was the Slayer, and they wanted her back on the Hellmouth, fighting evil nightly. It wasn=92t fair. Then he thought about what would happen if she walked away. Too many people would suffer if the Slayer stopped doing her job. That would mean that _they_ would go to plan B. When a Slayer dies, another steps up to take her place. If this Slayer wasn=92t going to perform, she=92d be =93retired=94 and they would just u= se the next one.=20 The Slayer had walked away once before, before modern means of tracking a person=92s movements, and there=92d been no operational Slayer for almo= st 14 years. It had been a nightmare for everyone, since the Slayer was the best of those who fought evil. He=92d have to do it. *Damn me,* he thought, *Damn me for not knowing of a way to get her out of this.* He read the file again, committing what he needed to memory, and then he deleted it. He dropped to photo into the shredder by his desk and went to get a shower. He had days of surveillance to look forward to, days of waiting for the time to be right. He couldn=92t just walk up to her on the street and say, =93Hi! You need to go back to California and fight vampires some more.=94 He knew how that would turn out, and he didn=92t want his nose broken again. This was going to require stealth an= d trickery. *Oh, boy,* he thought, *My favorite tactics.* Sometimes life didn=92t suck. This, however, wasn=92t one of those times. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Choices Date: 22 May 1998 22:04:53 -0400 Title: Choices Author: Northlight e-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca Spoilers: Becoming, part 2 Summary: What Buffy's thinking during her confrontation with her mom before she left to stop Angelus. This isn't the best thing that I've ever written, but I just had to write it. Joyce was so damned *stupid* in this episode that it amazed me. ::Deep breath... Calm... Deep breath...:: Content: Some swearing. Nothing big. Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. :::I've saved this entire city in one fell swoop before. Thousands of lives in a heartbeat. Something to consider::: Uncanny X-Men #351 Choices "If you leave now, don't even think about coming back!" Those words hurt me more than I would ever have believed. I've died before. I've lost people that I should have protected. The man I love turned into a demon that delights in torturing me. Those words are right up there on the pain scale. Why is that? Why do those words hurt me more than I could have imagined? It takes me a moment to understand what I felt as my mother flung those words at me. It's betrayal. I finally told mom what it is that I do, though it was by no choice of my own. I told her of my destiny, my curse, my duty. I spilled the pain in my heart out to her when she confronted me in the kitchen. What I said was true, I don't want to be doing this. I let out my anguish expecting her to understand. God, it hurt when she didn't. She didn't even seem upset or shocked when I told her about my being a Slayer-- just angry that I wasn't about to put off saving the world to spell things out to her. The woman who I thought would love me no matter what I may have done, betrayed my belief in her. I can't believe that she wanted me to choose between her and saving the world from being sucked into Hell! What did she expect me to do?! Believe me, I would have told her everything that she wanted to know if I'd been able to. But I couldn't! Why the hell couldn't she grasp that! Did she think that I was joking about all of this? Did she think so damned little of me? Mom or the world. Bet I'm the only girl whose ever had to make that particular choice. I wish that there had been a choice. But there wasn't. I couldn't stand by, chatting with mom, as the world went to Hell. So I pushed her aside to go and save the world from the grasp of evil once again. And that's when she said *it*. "If you leave now, don't even think about coming back!" Like it's really that simple! But apparently, she thought that it was. My need to save the world versus her parental authority. Is she fucking stupid!? Not nice, I know. But what else am I suppose to think? Damn it! Why am I always faced with this kind of crap!? I wonder if any of the other Slayers had to put up with this. They probably didn't, because if they did, I doubt that they'd have gotten anything done. She just looked at me, waiting for my answer. Mom. The world. I left. And as I did, I knew that no matter what happened, I wasn't going to be back. The End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 22) Date: 23 May 1998 17:38:50 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 22) The mourning had not been on for more than two weeks. 16 days to be exact. When she had begun to get the most alone feelings. Mother refused to talk to anyone, and knows the towns talking. 'Poor Isabelle, as though her soul was ripped right out with her husbands death.' Drusilla knew otherwise, her mother, ever the attention seeker was looking for some more. It made her sick to think of such disgrace, but what could she do? Lydia was such a strong child, she could live through the ordeal... It wouldn't do any permanent damage to her life, she'd barely known her father. He had missed her childhood on the pretext of providing for the family... Many of the out of state family had already left, gone back to their towns and villages to continue on with life. All that remained was her uncle, or fathers brother. His wife was no more than a year dead, and Dru supposed he was looking for a little bit of company rather than go back to his own lonely house, with the weight of two deceased loved ones on him. And anyways, that's what she was trying to do as she walked down the dirt path to the small clearing in the woods. Continue on.. ~ Oh, how he loved the way she wore ebony, coal, raven. It brought a smile to his pale lips to know that for the remainder of her mortal life she'd spend it draped in blackness. He'd left her alone for the past few days. She needed space. Or perhaps he did. He couldn't continue seeing her so often. It made him far to anxious, far to eager to take her soul, and taste the pounding beat he had memorized, and remembered night after day in his lonely house. But here he was again, stalking the young girl through the woods yet again. And wondering what wonderful tension, and how long it could continue... ~ Tears were gathering in her eyes, and that's when the most doubtful thing happened. Her stomach made the craziest agitated feeling. And she was sure that if she took one breath, one step, one blink she would fall into the blackness that was flooding her mind, and body, her heart stopped, and she stopped, hands flying to her stomach as though to keep it in her body. A whimper escaped her delicate lips as she saw the oddest vision of him, her Angel. Her Angelus. "Angel?" her throat's shattering whisper came and listening to her own voice echoing through the woods, she saw him. In her mind - watching her with intent, thinking, she saw something devious but couldn't make it out. And when his body appeared before her eyes, and the void in her head disappeared she found it mattered not. ~ His eyes widened as he rushed towards her, worry flooding his system, and he looked around her. Looked her up and down. She wasn't hurt was she? How? Had someone hurt her? The thought of anyone harming what was his sent a violent chill through his dead body, and looked up to realize, she was smiling... What was this child? It'd happened last time too, and she'd called him Angel, but this was different. Surely she didn't see him, he wasn't... she couldn't have known he was there unless.... But he smiled at her, and nodded, and made all the movements of a courteous gentlemen, rather than that of a violent killer She was a paradox. And she was his. ~ It made her laugh. There was nothing to fear! No-one lurking in the darkness.. It was Angelus. The thought of him here with her stilled her body and she held her laughter as he caught up to her. "What would you be doing out here?" "Well now, I could ask the same thing of you Drusilla, is it wise for you to be walking about without the protection of day?" She brushed off the thought, she was perfectly safe with a consort or without, but on the pretext of being ladylike she responding with "I'm perfectly safe now aren't I? Or are you here to hurt me?" * They ended up walking in silence. Ten minutes easily turned into eternity with his arm wrapped around her small waist, protecting her from hidden evils. She could sense him, more so than she could even see him, and Drusilla found herself pondering love. Might this be love? All the things she thought were wrought, meaningless, didn't exist now were her world, flooded in the sensation of another feeling something other than duty towards her. His voice was soft, so beautiful. And she wondered if she'd heard him, or her mind was playing tricks with her, but as he waited for her answer she knew he had asked. "How am I holding up?" she asked him back, idly. Thinking. "It's hard" She sighed. How can you describe that? Such a loss? No words can describe that kind of horror, to wake up to such a vision. "He'd want me to move on. To not stay forever in mourning..." She looked down the path at the trees giving them a small clearing "I'm trying to continue" As soon as those words left her mouth she regretted them. What was she to him? She'd been nothing but trouble, and now. Practically saying she was sick of mourning? But he was smiling, looking down at her with sympathetic eyes. He sighed too, gently letting go of her wrist to take her hand in his own. So cold her mind told her. So soft. "Yes" He agreed with her. "It's difficult." She looked up at him with questioning eyes. "It is?" His gaze was cast downwards as the soft humming of his voice tried to project the words, and when she heard, was sure of what she'd heard. Her eyes went wide. "Both my parents were murdered" She looked at him for a second, his head bobbing up as though to see what she would say. If she would gauche at him. ~ She could have been in shock. She certainly looked that way, like she was suddenly under a spell he'd induced. But so quickly as he had begun to apologize for his words, her slim body flew into his arms. He held her for a moment not sure what to say let alone do when he felt her body's racked sobs, her body shivering under his. "I was so alone" She whispered in-between sobs. "But you... you understand." He couldn't keep the smile from his lips as he held her defenseless body. As she cried in his arms feeling so utterly safe, so overwhelmed that somebody understood her pain. "I'm so sorry" she sniffled, still clinging to him. And he wondered for a moment if she was sorry for him, to him, or what not. "Yes" He smiled, though his voice was filled with sympathy for the scared princess in his arms. He stroked her hair lightly. ~ It'd seemed like eternity there in his arms until he took his arm from her back and gently tipped her head up to look at him. His soft smile melted her wounded heart, as they stood there starring at each other, the moon reflecting off the other making the image sublime. So slowly she barely noticed he moved closer to her. So close - until their lips touch each other kindly dancing. ~ She went to push him away. They couldn't do this. Not now, not yet. Oh god, think of what mother would say should she ever find out, and not more than 2 weeks after her father death?! But his hand pushed around her, holding her slime waist to him, and as his body gently pushed against hers she didn't care. All worries, all sorrows flew from her body as Angelus held her there in the moonlight. -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 2/?) Date: 23 May 1998 20:43:48 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to conor@dnaco.net =09 Buffy spent the next couple of days pounding the pavement. No-one would hire a sixteen year old, as she feared, but what was worse was that no-one would rent to one, either. It was extremely discouraging, and as the days passed, she became more and more depressed. Added to her depression was the fact that she felt like she was being watched almost constantly. It was nothing she could put her finger on, and whenever she scanned the crowd, she didn=92t see anyone paying specia= l attention to her. However, years of being constantly on guard had honed her survival instincts to the point where she was sure that _someone_ was watching her, she just couldn=92t catch them at it. She was walking back to her hotel from The Daily Grind after another pointless day of job hunting when she suddenly _knew_ that someone was following her. She spun around, fists at the ready, to find three guys strolling down the sidewalk behind her. They looked at her and chuckled, the lead one glancing behind her. Buffy threw a glance over her shoulder and saw maybe six more coming out of the shadows on all sides of her. *Nine is too many,* she thought to herself, *Even if they are just humans.* =93You guys have no idea how bad an idea this is,=94 she said, trying to sound more confident than she really was, =93Since I don=92t have any rea= l cash on me, this is going to be a LOT more effort than it=92s worth for you.=94 =93Ooo, a tough guy.=94 said the obvious leader with a grin, =93Well, sweetness, that might be true if it was money we were after. Unfortunately, what we want is you. If you come along quietly, we won=92t hurt you, but if you try to fight... well, the boys don=92t go in for that, and you=92ll probably not like the result.=94 He gave a nod to one = of the guys behind her, and Buffy heard feet moving closer. *TOO MANY!* Buffy thought to herself, fear beginning to grow in the pit of her stomach, until finally the potion of her mind that was the Slayer kicked in. *Can=92t be nice to them,* she thought to herself, *There are too many for that. I=92ve got to hit hard, hit fast, and leave at least some of them laying on the ground.* That in mind, she snapped a kick straight back into the nearest thug=92s knee, feeling a satisfying snap as the joint bent the wrong way. The thug screamed and dropped, clutching his ruined leg, and the rest of them, seeing that this wasn=92t going to be easy, after all, charged. Buffy was a whirlwind of fists and feet, moving and dodging so quickly that her opponents couldn=92t get a hand on her. She wasn=92t trying to soften them up for the kill, like she would have if they=92d been vampires. She was trying to _hurt_ them, to do as much damage as possible with each blow. Otherwise, she was doomed. At some point in the fight, the bad guys got desperate enough to pull out weapons, mostly clubs, but a few knives as well. Buffy concentrated on the knife fighters. She figured that if she could take a punch from a vampire, she could take a hit from a club. She had disabled four of them, using every dirty trick Giles had ever showed them, when one of them finally got behind her. There was a bright flash of light, followed by a sharp pain, and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground. *This is it,* she thought dazedly as the remaining thugs moved in for the kill, *It=92s not going to be vampires or demons or weird slime creatures from the dawn of time. I=92m going to get killed by human monsters.* ********** He followed her carefully for several days. It wasn=92t easy, she had a sixth sense about such things and twice, she almost caught him. It was kind of sad, watching her try to find work in a world that didn=92t credi= t her with the necessary maturity to live on her own. She was also checking on apartments, and there again, she was having no luck. *She must be getting desperate, living in a hotel.* he thought, *Something=92s gotta break soon.* He was following her home after another night at the coffee house, when the sword in his dufflebag twitched. *Not now,* he thought, *I=92m busy.* Of course, that=92s when the dark forces liked to operate, it seemed.=20 Whenever he had something better to do, he had to drop everything and kill some foul-smelling demon. He dropped the bag, and pulled his sword out of it, glancing around for the threat it had detected. The sword was beautiful, 3 1/2 feet of polished steel with a phrase in Latin down its fuller. It was obviously a well-used antique, although it still looked quite deadly.=20 There was a moment of =91connection=92 as the sword filled his hand. He was overcome for a moment by the spirit of the sword as it tried to take control.=20 When he finally regained himself, he saw that a group of punks had surrounded the girl. He was too far away to hear the verbal exchange, but the body language definitely said that something unpleasant was about to happen. Then she exploded into action, kicking and punching in all directions.=20 She was poetry in motion, and for a few moments he could only stand and watch her. His style of combat had never been that graceful, that full of life. For days, he=92d been watching a hopeless, beaten-down teenage girl. He=92d begun to suspect that they were wrong about her, and the Slayer was elsewhere. In battle, however, she came fully alive, shaking off the weight of all her troubles.=20 He forgot that he should probably help her. He forgot that one of those guys was most likely a demon. She was so good that he started to relax, since it looked like she was going to beat them on her own. Then one of them hit her from behind with a two by four. She went down in a heap, but stayed there only a moment before she was trying to get shakily back to her feet. He shook himself out of his daze and sprinted forward, hoping he could get there before it was too late. ********** =93If that=92s the best you can do,=94 Buffy said as she somehow found h= er feet, =93Then I have nothing to worry about.=94 A foot lashed out, sweeping her feet out from under her and putting her back on the ground. =93Start worrying,=94 said the leader, =93Kill her boys, I got close eno= ugh to get a sniff, and she=92s not what we need.=94 Buffy tried to focus, to get herself together to fight them off. A big part of her wanted to give up, however. It was too hard to be her anymore. She settled into a dejected heap, and waited for the blow that would end her suffering. =93Sorry boys,=94 growled a voice that was suddenly in their midst, =93N= o party tonight. You=92ve gotta know that this one is not for the likes of you.=94 The speech was accompanied by a strange whistling and a sharp scream. Buffy opened her eyes to see a man, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, moving past one of the thugs who was holding a bleeding stump where his arm used to be. The newcomer was older, probably in his mid thirties, a little heavy set, but obviously at home swinging a sword. He moved to her side, his sword-tip weaving back and forth, ready to lick out at any thug foolish enough to get too close to her. =93Can you walk?=94 he asked her, never taking his eyes off of their opponents. =93I th-think so,=94 she said a little vaguely. =93Give me a sec.=94 =93We don=92t have a sec,=94 he replied, =93I don=92t think I can take a= ll these guys by myself, and in a second their gonna come to the same conclusion.=94 As if to prove him right the leader took that moment to yell, =93GET HIM= ! He can=92t kill you all.=94 The rest of the gang looked at each other, then moved forward. =93Time=92s up,=94 said the swordsman, =93now we have to fight. Do what = you can, but stay close to me. I=92ll try to open us a hole. If I say run, follow me. Okay?=94 Buffy got to her feet, and turned to face the thugs coming up from behind.=20 =93You just take care of the ones that come that way, and I=92ll watch y= our back.=94 she said grimly. Somehow, she finally got her eyes to focus, jus= t in time to block a swing. The battle was rejoined. They fought for their lives, her with bare hands and him with bared steel, and they knew it. Buffy kicked one guy under the chin, hearing a sickening crunch, as the swordsman slid his blade into another one=92s guts. In moments, all of the gang members except the leader were on the ground, dead, dying, or crippled. =93This is not over,=94 hissed the leader, =93My master will have his re= venge on you for this.=94 And he turned and ran. =93May God guide my hand against the Darkness,=94 whispered the swordsma= n. Then, with a heave, he flung the sword at the thug=92s retreating back. The sword spun lazily through the air, ending up piercing the thug in the spine. The thug let out an inhuman shriek, and crumpled to the ground. Buffy looked on in disbelief, then whispered, =93You didn=92t have to ki= ll him. He was running away...=94 =93Hmm...,=94 replied the swordsman, =93I could let him go and try to ra= pe some other, less capable girl, not to mention bringing down his =91master=92s=92 revenge on our heads. And that=92s if he were just a hum= an monster. However, if you come with me, I think you=92ll see that he=92s something worse than that.=94 He led her over to the corpse. The smell hit them before they could get a good look at it. When they finally got there, the sword was lying in a pile of quickly decomposing goo. =93What in the Hell was that?=94 asked Buffy. =93A demon,=94 he replied, =93Probably a shapeshifter. Lucky for us it w= asn=92t anything more aggressive. You weren=92t in any shape to fight a combat demon, and I couldn=92t have fought it _and_ kept you covered at the same time.=94 =93Look,=94 snapped Buffy, =93I can take care of myself just fine. I=92v= e fought...=94 =93Vampires,=94 he cut in, =93Yeah, I know. But that was before you walk= ed away from your responsibilities. Did you think the Powers That Be would just let that happen with no side effects?=94 He chuckled, =93You=92ve gi= ven up your edge, and from what I heard, late-starter that you are, you didn=92t have that much of one to begin with.=94 He knew that he was telling her a bald-faced lie. What she had couldn=92= t be taken away, except by death. Her edge was dulled by her own lack of focus, nothing more. In truth, he=92d never seen anyone fight as well as she had, and she wasn=92t at anything like 100%. =93Who are you, and how do you know so much about me?=94 Buffy demanded sharply. =93Not here,=94 he said, picking up his sword and shaking the slime from it. =93There=92re gonna be a lot of questions asked here shortly, and I don=92t want to be here answering them any more than you do.=94 He led her through the residential area, quickly putting several streets between the battlefield and themselves. After several quiet minutes, Buffy couldn=92t stand it any longer. =93Okay, we should be safe enough for story -time now.=94 she said. =93H= ow about you spill.=94 =93Name=92s Rick, and I=92m just a guy who kills demons for a hobby,=94 = he said, =93And as for how I know about you, well, I can=92t really say. Sometimes I just get letters, or email, or small packages from some mysterious group that knows a lot more about this kind of shit,=94 he gestured at the foul-smelling pile, =93 than I do. They pointed me in you= r direction, told me to keep an eye on you. Seems like a good thing that I did.=94 =93I didn=92t ask for your help. I don=92t need it, and I don=92t want i= t. Mysterious group! What is that?=94 she said as she choked back tears. She felt like her so called =91destiny=92 was sitting on her chest, suffocating the life out of her.=20 =93 I=92m so sick of being driven.=94 she told him, =93 And now you tel= l me there=92s some secret organization that runs the whole evil-fighting world? _And_ they=92re keeping tabs on me? Haven=92t I made my feelings clear? I DON=92T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I=92ve given up everything to b= e the Slayer -- EVERYTHING! I don=92t have anything left. I don=92t want to= be the Slayer, anymore. I just want to be a girl. I want to worry about clothes, and boys, and my grades. I want to grow up, get married, and have babies. I do not want to die in the dark while some fanged ugly eats my liver -- or worse. I want a normal life...just a normal life.=94=20 She started crying then, soft sobs that sounded like they=92d never end. He stood there a minute, trying to figure out what to do. It had been a long time since he=92d been around anyone who cried. Finally, he pulled her into his arms. She stiffened a moment, the let all her grief and anger pour out on his shoulder. =93I understand,=94 he whispered into her hair, =93More than you realize= . I was young once, with all the same dreams. It does get easier, really.=94 She burrowed deeper into his shoulder, taking comfort from his solidity.=20 It was so hard, being alone, and it was so easy to find comfort in a kindred soul.=20 =93It=92s gonna be okay,=94 he said, awkwardly stroking her hair, =93You= =92ll get through this.=94 They stood that way for a very long time. more to come... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS : How To Forge a Broken Blade (2/?) Date: 23 May 1998 21:12:40 -0400 Ack! Not only did I post the non-proofread version as opposed to the proofread one, but it pasted funny in my post and looks all weird. Well, the gist is pretty much the same, with a few typos and a slightly weird look..... sorry...... -R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 2/?) Date: 23 May 1998 21:38:46 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to conor@dnaco.net ********** Buffy spent the next couple of days pounding the pavement. No-one would hire a sixteen year old, as she feared, but what was worse was that no-one would rent to one, either. It was extremely discouraging, and as the days passed, she became more and more depressed. Added to her depression was the fact that she felt like she was being watched almost constantly. It was nothing she could put her finger on, and whenever she scanned the crowd, she didn=92t see anyone paying specia= l attention to her. However, years of being constantly on guard had honed her survival instincts to the point where she was sure that _someone_ was watching her, she just couldn=92t catch them at it. She was walking back to her hotel from The Daily Grind after another pointless day of job hunting when she suddenly _knew_ that someone was following her. She spun around, fists at the ready, to find three guys strolling down the sidewalk behind her. They looked at her and chuckled, the lead one glancing behind her. Buffy threw a glance over her shoulder and saw maybe six more coming out of the shadows on all sides of her. *Nine is too many,* she thought to herself, *Even if they are just humans.* =93You guys have no idea how bad an idea this is,=94 she said, trying to sound more confident than she really was, =93Since I don=92t have any rea= l cash on me, this is going to be a LOT more effort than it=92s worth for you.=94 =93Ooo, a tough guy.=94 said the obvious leader with a grin, =93Well, sweetness, that might be true if it was money we were after. Unfortunately, what we want is you. If you come along quietly, we won=92t hurt you, but if you try to fight... well, the boys don=92t go in for that, and you=92ll probably not like the result.=94 He gave a nod to one = of the guys behind her, and Buffy heard feet moving closer. *TOO MANY!* Buffy thought to herself, fear beginning to grow in the pit of her stomach, until finally the potion of her mind that was the Slayer kicked in. *Can=92t be nice to them,* she thought to herself, *There are too many for that. I=92ve got to hit hard, hit fast, and leave at least some of them laying on the ground.* That in mind, she snapped a kick straight back into the nearest thug=92s knee, feeling a satisfying snap as the joint bent the wrong way. The thug screamed and dropped, clutching his ruined leg, and the rest of them, seeing that this wasn=92t going to be easy, after all, charged. Buffy was a whirlwind of fists and feet, moving and dodging so quickly that her opponents couldn=92t get a hand on her. She wasn=92t trying to soften them up for the kill, like she would have if they=92d been vampires. She was trying to _hurt_ them, to do as much damage as possible with each blow. Otherwise, she was doomed. At some point in the fight, the bad guys got desperate enough to pull out weapons, mostly clubs, but a few knives as well. Buffy concentrated on the knife fighters. She figured that if she could take a punch from a vampire, she could take a hit from a club. She had disabled four of them, using every dirty trick Giles had ever showed her, when one of them finally got behind her. There was a bright flash of light, followed by a sharp pain, and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground. *This is it,* she thought dazedly as the remaining thugs moved in for the kill, *It=92s not going to be vampires or demons or weird slime creatures from the dawn of time. I=92m going to get killed by human monsters.* ********** He followed her carefully for several days. It wasn=92t easy, she had a sixth sense about such things and twice, she almost caught him. It was kind of sad, watching her try to find work in a world that didn=92t credi= t her with the necessary maturity to live on her own. She was also checking on apartments, and there again, she was having no luck. *She must be getting desperate, living in a hotel on what have to be limited resources.* he thought, *Something=92s gotta break soon.* He was following her home after another night at the coffee house, when the sword in his dufflebag twitched. *Not now,* he thought, *I=92m busy.* Of course, that=92s when the dark forces liked to operate, it seemed.=20 Whenever he had something better to do, he had to drop everything and kill some foul-smelling demon. He dropped the bag, and pulled his sword out of it, glancing around for the threat it had detected. The sword was beautiful, 3 1/2 feet of polished steel with a phrase in Latin down its fuller. It was obviously a well-used antique, although it still looked quite deadly.=20 There was a moment of =91connection=92 as the sword filled his hand. He was overcome for a moment by the spirit of the sword as it tried to take control.=20 When he finally regained himself, he saw that a group of punks had surrounded the girl. He was too far away to hear the verbal exchange, but the body language definitely said that something unpleasant was about to happen. Then she exploded into action, kicking and punching in all directions.=20 She was poetry in motion, and for a few moments he could only stand and watch her. His style of combat had never been that graceful, that full of life. For days, he=92d been watching a hopeless, beaten-down teenage girl. He=92d begun to suspect that they were wrong about her, and the Slayer was elsewhere. In battle, however, she came fully alive, shaking off the weight of all her troubles.=20 He forgot that he should probably help her. He forgot that one of those guys was most likely a demon. She was so good that he started to relax, since it looked like she was going to beat them on her own. Then one of them hit her from behind with a two by four. She went down in a heap, but stayed there only a moment before she was trying to get shakily back to her feet. He shook himself out of his daze and sprinted forward, hoping he could get there before it was too late. ********** =93If that=92s the best you can do,=94 Buffy said as she somehow found h= er feet, =93Then I have nothing to worry about.=94 A foot lashed out, sweeping her feet out from under her and putting her back on the ground. =93Start worrying,=94 said the leader, =93Kill her boys, I got close eno= ugh to get a sniff, and she=92s not what we need.=94 Buffy tried to focus, to get herself together to fight them off. A big part of her wanted to give up, however. It was too hard to be her anymore. She settled into a dejected heap, and waited for the blow that would end her suffering. =93Sorry boys,=94 growled a voice that was suddenly in their midst, =93N= o party tonight. You=92ve gotta know that this one is not for the likes of you.=94 The speech was accompanied by a strange whistling and a sharp scream. Buffy opened her eyes to see a man, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, moving past one of the thugs who was holding a bleeding stump where his arm used to be. The newcomer was older, probably in his mid thirties, a little heavy set, but obviously at home swinging a sword. He moved to her side, his sword-tip weaving back and forth, ready to lick out at any thug foolish enough to get too close to her. =93Can you walk?=94 he asked her, never taking his eyes off of their opponents. =93I th-think so,=94 she said a little vaguely. =93Give me a sec.=94 =93We don=92t have a sec,=94 he replied, =93I don=92t think I can take a= ll these guys by myself, and in a second they=92re gonna come to the same conclusion.=94 As if to prove him right the leader took that moment to yell, =93GET HIM= ! He can=92t kill you all.=94 The rest of the gang looked at each other, then moved forward. =93Time=92s up,=94 said the swordsman, =93now we have to fight. Do what = you can, but stay close to me. I=92ll try to open us a hole. If I say run, follow me. Okay?=94 Buffy got to her feet, and turned to face the thugs coming up from behind.=20 =93You just take care of the ones that come that way, and I=92ll watch y= our back.=94 she said grimly. Somehow, she finally got her eyes to focus, jus= t in time to block a swing. The battle was rejoined. They fought for their lives, her with bare hands and him with bared steel, and they knew it. Buffy kicked one guy under the chin, hearing a sickening crunch, as the swordsman slid his blade into another one=92s guts. Buffy punched another in the throat, then kicked him in the groin hard enough to double him over. The swordsman gutted another one, and with the backswing, opened yet another's throat. In moments, all of the gang members except the leader were on the ground, dead, dying, or crippled. =93This is not over,=94 hissed the leader, =93My master will have his re= venge on you for this.=94 And he turned and ran. =93May God guide my hand against the Darkness,=94 whispered the swordsma= n. Then, with a heave, he flung the sword at the thug=92s retreating back. The sword spun lazily through the air, ending up piercing the thug in the spine. The thug let out an inhuman shriek, and crumpled to the ground. Buffy looked on in disbelief, then whispered, =93You didn=92t have to ki= ll him. He was running away...=94 =93Hmm...,=94 replied the swordsman, =93I could let him go and try to ra= pe some other, less capable girl, not to mention bringing down his =91master=92s=92 revenge on our heads. And that=92s if he were just a hum= an monster. However, if you come with me, I think you=92ll see that he=92s something worse than that.=94 He led her over to the corpse. The smell hit them before they could get a good look at it. When they finally got there, the sword was lying in a pile of quickly decomposing goo. =93What in the Hell was that?=94 asked Buffy. =93A demon,=94 he replied, =93Probably a shapeshifter. Lucky for us it w= asn=92t anything more aggressive. You weren=92t in any shape to fight a combat demon, and I couldn=92t have fought it _and_ kept you covered at the same time.=94 =93Look,=94 snapped Buffy, =93I can take care of myself just fine. I=92v= e fought...=94 =93Vampires,=94 he cut in, =93Yeah, I know. But that was before you walk= ed away from your responsibilities. Did you think the Powers That Be would just let that happen with no side effects?=94 He chuckled, =93You=92ve gi= ven up your edge, and from what I heard, late-starter that you are, you didn=92t have that much of one to begin with.=94 He knew that he was telling her a bald-faced lie. What she had couldn=92= t be taken away, except by death. Her edge was dulled by her own lack of focus, nothing more. In truth, he=92d never seen anyone fight as well as she had, and she wasn=92t at anything like 100%. =93Who are you, and how do you know so much about me?=94 Buffy demanded sharply. =93Not here,=94 he said, picking up his sword and shaking the slime from it. =93There=92re gonna be a lot of questions asked here shortly, and I don=92t want to be here answering them any more than you do.=94 He led her through the residential area, quickly putting several streets between the battlefield and themselves. After several quiet minutes, Buffy couldn=92t stand it any longer. =93Okay, we should be safe enough for story -time now.=94 she said. =93H= ow about you spill.=94 =93Name=92s Rick, and I=92m just a guy who kills demons for a hobby,=94 = he said, =93And as for how I know about you, well, I can=92t really say. Sometimes I just get letters, or email, or small packages from some mysterious group that knows a lot more about that kind of shit...,=94 he gestured back toward the battlefield, =93 ...than I do. They pointed me i= n your direction, told me to keep an eye on you. Seems like a good thing that I did.=94 =93I didn=92t ask for your help. I don=92t need it, and I don=92t want i= t. Mysterious group! What is _that_?=94 she said as she choked back tears. She felt like her so called =91destiny=92 was sitting on her chest, suffocating the life out of her. She wanted to hit him, or scream, or both. =93 I=92m so sick of being driven.=94 she told him, =93 And now you tel= l me there=92s some secret organization that runs the whole evil-fighting world? _And_ they=92re keeping tabs on me? Haven=92t I made my feelings clear? I DON=92T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I=92ve given up everything to b= e the Slayer -- EVERYTHING! I don=92t have anything left. I - DON'T - WANT = - TO - BE - THE - SLAYER - ANY - MORE! I just want to be a girl. I want to worry about clothes, and boys, and my grades. I want to grow up, get married, and have babies. I do not want to die in the dark while some fanged ugly eats my liver -- or worse. I want a normal life...just a normal life.=94=20 She started crying then, soft sobs that sounded like they=92d never end. He stood there a minute, trying to figure out what to do. It had been a long time since he=92d been around anyone who cried. Finally, he pulled her clumsily into his arms. She stiffened a moment, the let all her grief and anger pour out on his shoulder. =93I understand,=94 he whispered into her hair, =93More than you realize= . I was young once, with all the same dreams. It does get easier, really. You just have to learn to adapt.=94 She burrowed deeper into his shoulder, taking comfort from his solidity. It was so hard, being alone, and it was so easy to find comfort in a kindred soul. *Damn me,* he thought as he stood, trying to put her back together, *How can I make her get back into this? _I_ don't even believe me.* =93It=92s gonna be okay,=94 he said, awkwardly stroking her hair, =93You= =92ll get through this. We'll get you through it.=94 They stood that way for a very long time. more to come... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: 3 (short) Becoming Fics Date: 23 May 1998 21:53:01 -0400 Title(s): 1. Hold On 2. A Long Time Coming 3. The Right Thing to Do Author: Northlight e-mail: uzenet@videotron.ca Distribution: Go ahead, just ask/tell me first. Spoilers: Becoming, Part 2 Summaries: Hold On: Giles' thoughts while Angelus is trying to get the information he needs. A Long Time Coming: Spike as he's hitting Angelus. (I loved that part! ) The Right Thing to Do: Cordelia's thoughts about what happened. I'm not quite sure about this one, I've never written Cordelia before. But I figured what the heck, go for it! Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. ****** Hold On It hurts. My entire body aches and screams it's agony to my pain clouded mind. Oh, God, how it hurts! I can feel him hovering over me, preparing his next move. He pauses, considering what will cause the most agony to my battered body. I'm frightened. I'm hurting. And yet, I do not give into his demands. I know that he will kill me once he discovers the secret to the ritual, but that is not what keeps me silent. I would welcome death eagerly at this moment if it would only take away the pain. So why then? Why won't I give into the relief from pain that my answer would bring? Maybe it's a little bit of the Ripper in me. That brash and foolhardy youth would have sneered in the face of the demon before me. He had been no stranger to pain. Is it that remembered pain which allows me to stay silent in the face of such agony? Maybe, my continued, stubborn silence is the result of my Watcher's training. It is to be expected that, as a guide to the sole barrier against the forces of darkness, Watchers may fall into such unpleasant circumstances. I am not the first Watcher who has been tortured for the information that they hold. I had been warned of this possibility. I had been trained never to give into the pain. The idea that a Watcher's agony is nothing compared to their duty has long been drilled into my mind. Is that what holds me silent? Is it the thought of the world which hangs in the balance that keeps me from speaking? I do not know, for at the moment, the fate of the world seems a distant worry. The fate of the world is a difficult concept to grasp when one can hardly think through the pain clouding their mind. Angelus moves in towards me. He is impatient, demanding his answer. He promises to make the pain stop if only I tell him what he needs to know. At that moment, both Ripper and Watcher seem so very far away. There is only suffering and the thought of a cease to my anguish. And yet, I do not give him what he needs. I answer with quips and sarcasm, and as I do, I know that such a response will only draw more pain. So why don't I give the answer that will set me free? It is love. I will not fail my young Slayer in this. I will not let the children who depend on me suffer an eternity of agony worse than what I am suffering from now. I will not allow the monster who murdered Jenny destroy anyone else that I care for. I will not answer. I am stronger than this. I will not answer. Oh God, it hurts! End *** A Long Time Coming She's here. The Slayer. The muscles in my legs tense as I prepare myself for what is to come. I wait until she's finished speaking, her words a perfect opening for my entrance back into the world of the walking. The bar is in my hands within moments after I rise to my feet. There is no hesitation whatsoever as I bring it down on Angel's head. *WHACK!* Bloody stupid fool! *WHACK!* Thinks that he can waltz back into our lives, all nice and soulless, and pick up where we left off? Where he left off with Dru!? *WHACK!* She's mine! Mine! Angelus may have been the one to snap her mind, he may have been the one to change her, but she is mine! I am the one who has looked after her all these years! I am the one who protected her, and cared for her. I was the one who helped her regain her strength! I have suffered the loss of my legs for her! *WHACK!* And what has he done for her? Nothing! *WHACK!* She's mine! He will not take her away from me! I will not allow it! *WHACK!* I bring the bar down on him again. The frustrations of all these years power my blows. *WHACK!* I've been wanting to do this for a _long_ time. I figure it's about time I got it all out. *WHACK!* Damn, this feels good! *WHACK!* End *** The Right Thing To Do Xander told me to run, and I did. I ran as fast and as far as I could. Blind terror drove me forward, urged me to get as much distance between me and those monsters as possible. I ran. I left everyone behind, and ran away while everyone else was being taken out. Buffy told me that it was the right thing to do. So why do I feel so awful? Really, what could I have done? I may be beautiful, and I may be outrageously popular, but all of that means nothing when facing creeps with some serious dental problems. I don't know what's wrong with me. Before, I never would have been going through this. I'd be sorry for Willow, in my own way, of course, but I wouldn't be feeling like I am now. It would have been a clear case of me or them. And my life would have won hands down. Cordelia Chase doesn't do the whole self-sacrifice thing. Considering that I ran, I still don't. But it's different... What am I doing here? The Cordelia of old never would have been in some smelly old hospital, waiting for some girl that she never liked to wake up. But now, Willow... and Xander hold me here without even asking for me. Somehow, somewhere, that Cordelia began to fade away. And that scares me. I don't want to worry about these people. I don't want to feel guilty because they suffered and I ran. I did the right thing. I did. But why do I feel so bad about it? End ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (22.5) Date: 24 May 1998 00:04:37 -0700 I wrote up this ditty just now. it's not a new part really, just a small attachment, enjoy Charlotte Sometimes (Part 22.5) She was pushing him away. Somehow she managed to gather her composure, and prying him off from her lips, and from her body she squirmed out from under his arms. He contemplated not letting her go, but he could never force her. And so he let her free to stumble backwards, and in the instant he went to catch her something distracted him. ~ Drusilla managed to tangle her feet as she freed herself of her would be love, and stumbling as she tried to turn away from his beautiful face. She landing on the gravel floor not hard, though clearly stunned, and sat there slumped on the ground with widened eyes. She'd just kissed a man. A real kiss. A real man. A first kiss! Perhaps if the disgrace didn't stop her from blushing she'd be red as a rose right as of now. ~ His lips tingled where her's had touch, and he sighed drawing his hands to the pale lips, remembering the feathers touch. But he had to remember her as a whole, as she lay down on the ground looking up at him. She stammered back up to her feet, legs shaking as he helped her to stand. "Drusilla" He gasped out, her name holding so much meaning. So much beauty. She looked frail suddenly, like she would begin to break and cry. But she could stand straight. She stood up straight, though avoiding his gaze somewhat. "I'm so sorry Dru... Your in so much..." He looked at her up and down, every inch of her hair shimmering. Words were lost to him right now, all value of meaning was gone. "Pain" He whispered. He wanted to plan this! To think out each minute with great consideration of importance, to make the moment as beautiful as immortally possible. But he was so blinded. She was all he saw. The world was a picture of her face. There was nothing else. "I'm trying to move slowly with you." He brushed his hand along her cheek, timid eyes reaching his gaze for the first time. They were flickering with light now, just a little hope of what they'd been before. "But I-I-I" Angelus smiled, taking a deep breath. His eyes locked steady on hers, and hers, large brown eyes widened in anticipation of what she knew was coming. "I think I in love with you Drusilla" -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: My Moria (6/?) Date: 23 May 1998 23:43:06 -0700 TITLE: My Moria (6/?) AUTHOR: Taygeta E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com RATING: PG DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first. FEEDBACK: Please??? SPOILER: Not really DISCLAIMER:The characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, these characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them. DESCRIPTION: Twenty years into the future, 'nuff said. AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a little Latin in here, and I don't know if the sentence structure is correct. If anyone knows Latin and can tell me if it's okay, please do. And if my sentence structure isn't correct, I'm really sorry. *************************** My Moria #6 By: Taygeta Rupert Giles sighed as he roamed the grounds around the Summers-Harris home and thought of the precarious hours that had passed and those that had yet to pass until the new slayer was told of her destiny. The atmosphere that had settled was too familiar and far too nerve-wracking for his weary, aging heart. So much that he had to flee to the garden to distance him from the almost dismal. In the serenity of the blossoming gardens, he couldn't believe that this beautiful, grand estate belonged to two of the most reckless students he had ever known. He had had no worries of Willow, Oz, or Cordelia's future; the three were so confident and tactful, that he hadn't needed to be. Willow and Oz's software company, Full Moon, Inc., was now selling worldwide. Cordelia was the Watcher, and that news in itself was one of the biggest surprises Giles had ever experienced. The aims and responsibilities she had gained had altered her from the superficial girl she had always been to a mature and resourceful woman that was the best in her field. Her profession as a curator to a historical museum had aided her in her work as a Watcher, allowing much of her success to occur so quickly. No, they didn't give him much surprise at their accomplishments in life. Buffy and Xander, on the other hand, he had had much contemplation on the subject of their future. It surprised him, still, no matter how many times he saw a film written by Alexander Summers-Harris, or his more recently proven talent, read a book written by him, that such maturity and thought content could have ever came from the sarcastic, unsound student he use to know. As for Buffy, he always feared that in every single battle he set her on and in those that she had brought herself into, that he would lose her. And the fact that he didn't, was success enough for him, but beating the odds wasn't enough for Buffy, Giles had realized, after she became the "norm" she had always wished to become. And perhaps by finding herself in her art, she had achieve the inner peace that they all had lost somewhere along the line while living in and out of the realm of darkness. It was hard to have seen her expression when Cordelia brought the news that Moria was the new slayer. It was as if all that accomplishment to regain the tranquility lost had been in vain. He had seen one of her paintings at a gallery on a recent trip to New York. Almost the entirety of the painting was done in dark oils that cast an almost foreboding feeling to the mind's eye. Despite its limited usage, the pale oils that made up the rest of the painting were perhaps the most powerful feature in the painting, for the pallid colors created beautiful sovereign images beneath the shadows created by the dark paints. One such image was very familiar to his eyes and his heart, and that was the shadowy face of his past love, Jennifer Calendar. Seeing her face in one of Buffy's paintings made him wonder what would have been if the dreaded Angelus hadn't killed her? Would they have continued through life together? He often thought of such questions and they were always left to hang silently in the air to never be answered. Angelus, his demonic face was among those in the shadows and his alter ego, Angel, made up half of that face. The Master, Druscilla, Spike, the Chosen one, Xander, Cordelia, Willow, Oz, Buffy, and even himself, as all was there…the good against the evil and the half face of Angel/Angelus to divide the line. All these images surrounded a maelstrom of purple, black, gray, and white, and the figures drawn to such detail that it is unsure as to whether the vortex is pulling in or pushing out. So suitable was the title of that painting that hung so stately on the wall, so suitable of a phrase to describe their lives. "Obscurus Ad Faciem" … "To Face the Dark." _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: a little problem I've noticed... Date: 24 May 1998 11:05:04 -0400 In some of the fics I get, there are breaks in the text with something like "=92" in between many of the words. Usually, this is tolerable, but occasionally it's almost made a great story unreadable. I was just wondering if anybody else gets it, if anybody on the list knows what it is, and if it can be prevented. Thanks! -Ingrid Ingrid: Author of many long Buffyfics (and some short ones). "Return to Normalcy," "One Vampire's Headache...," "This Fleeting Hope," "Ghost of a Chance," "Tragic Sighs," "Footsteps," "Bitten," and "Reunion." _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (20/?) Date: 24 May 1998 11:37:48 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters? They ain’t mine. SUMMARY: More work at the Harris house. FEEDBACK: I hate feedback. Don’t send it. (Just kidding. - Does anybody ever *not* want feedback? REQUESTS FOR PARTS: Give ‘em here! (Ingrid29@juno.com) NOTE: The research paper is over!! Party time!! (not really, but it *is* over) After many naps, I have written a part. =) Okay… I’ll let you get on to the story! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Twenty: "Preparation" ********* What a draining day. Buffy was tired, but she knew the excitement lay ahead. Tonight would determine all their fates for better or for worse, but something told her that ‘worse’ was in the cards. She smiled at Giles, and he returned it faintly. He’d forgiven. The healing was beginning. He’d managed to meet Angel’s eyes, and would again. They had it down. The entire prophesy had been translated, and not a single word refused to be understood. She glanced at the window, where Xander and Cordelia were reading something over. The sun was gradually slipping below the horizon, and soon she would be here with her sparkling eyes and tragic face. Perhaps Buffy had her own guilt to deal with. "An old enemy returns to destroy. The gates of time blow open and all is chaos." "To set things right In death A friend emerges from the shadows." The doorbell rang, jangling her nerves. "That must be Corin," Cordelia explained, and left her place at the window to go answer the door. It was tonight. They all knew it was tonight. *This is it,* she thought, *Don’t screw up. You can’t screw this up.* But she would anyway. Somehow, she’d manage. She walked over to Angel and rested in his arms, still watching the people around her buzzing with anxious life. Cordelia returned with the girl, watching her nervously as she sat down. Buffy looked outside distractedly as the sun began to slip below the horizon. Not much longer afterwards, Willow arrived. She was as radiant and as tragic as ever, every word she spoke burning brightly before dying at the ears. And then suddenly, they were all still, waiting for Willow to speak, and Buffy knew what she had to do. It was time, and she was ready. "It’s tonight." Willow sunk back in the chair, waiting for the obvious to sink in. "Tonight, the stars are aligned just right, and he will begin near midnight. First, he’s going to try to stop her death. That will require anything we have to stop him. It doesn’t matter who, or what. Just do it, whatever’s necessary." "Oh, don’t worry, we will," answered Buffy roughly. "Like I told you before, there will be more than a few of these portals opening up. Get in at all costs. It’s the only way to stop him. I think we should split up." Pairs of two claimed each other with their eyes. Xander and Cordelia, naturally. Buffy and Angel. And Willow and Giles would go together. Corin would stay with her watcher. She was too young to do much, but it was her duty to be there. "Whether he’s succeeded in preventing Dru’s death or not, he’ll try to stop the restoration ceremony." Buffy squeezed Angel’s hand. He shut his eyes. "Again, we’ve got to stop him. At *all* costs." Something in her voice was shaking. Determined. She glanced up at the clock above the mantle. It was time. She stood up and drifted to the door. They followed. *** END, 20. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: answers to the little problem Date: 24 May 1998 14:30:16 -0400 After a few messages, (thanks to everybody who e-mailed me) I've gathered that these breaks are due to lines that are too long in fic. Personally, I always make sure that my lines aren't too long by pressing return, and aligning everything to the left (yeah, I know it's a pain, but it makes for easier reading). I would advise all authors to do something like this, because as good as a story is, those interruptions can be *really annoying!* I don't have the list rules with me at the moment, but I know they do give a certain number of characters as the max length of a given line. Thanks again! -Ingrid _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: JMHnoodles Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: answers to the little problem Date: 24 May 1998 18:43:37 EDT << After a few messages, (thanks to everybody who e-mailed me) I've gathered that these breaks are due to lines that are too long in fic. Personally, I always make sure that my lines aren't too long by pressing return, and aligning everything to the left (yeah, I know it's a pain, but it makes for easier reading). I would advise all authors to do something like this, because as good as a story is, those interruptions can be *really annoying!* >> Before you start writing your story, set the right margin in your word processor to 2.87", which corresponds to the amount of characters per line maximum set in the list rules. Then, before you copy it to your email, go through and press "return" at the end of each line...this is what has worked the best and been the easiest for me; I don't know if anyone has a better method. =) Jen ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" Interlude zero: "Premonitions" Date: 24 May 1998 22:57:52 -0400 DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine. Don't sue. SUMMARY: This takes place just before the first interlude, which started with Buffy driving the car to meet the rest of the gang who were performing the curse. WARNING: PG-13 for violence, and a little connotation. (Come on- A little connotation never hurt anyone!) I WROTE THIS: To some more Rasputina music- They’re perfect for Drusilla! Song- their version of "Why Don’t You Do Right?" first published in the early 40’s! "Reunion" Interlude # 0: "Premonitions" by Ingrid She could feel it in her bones. Something was coming, and was light and good and pure, and she wanted to kill it. And she would. It wanted to take her Angel away. They were purchasing- purchasing the little glass sphere, and she could see it glowing, positively reeking with love. But who could she ask for help? Angel was away, and her dear little Spike, as resourceful as he was, happened to loathe her dear little Angel. True, she sighed, and was forced to admit that she had played no small part in the whole affair. She grinned, remembering those fingers traveling up her abdomen. But it was oh so much fun! And she couldn’t risk telling any of the incompetent grunts they kept around. She shuddered. Horrible brutes. They would no doubt mention it to Spike, even if it was just a brainless bungling mistake. They didn’t make any other kind, really. So she was on her own. She didn’t have much of a problem with that, except when it got too quiet, and she was afraid of something popping out of the night sky all of a sudden. It was rather thrilling, however, and she knew that this could be her only chance. The pain got worse, and she nearly buckled over. With a great effort, she remained silent. She didn’t need Spike popping in here wondering what was the matter, or worse yet, what she’d seen. But she wasn’t accustomed to forming a plan all by herself. Where was Angelus? He couldn’t be… And then another pain shot through her stronger, practically bending her body in half. They were close, and that meant they already had him, but they were waiting, she knew, waiting for that foul clear crystal orb. She had to go. Now. Plans were a luxury of people who had time. She didn’t. Gathering her skirts up silently, she sped towards the archway, and left unnoticed. She didn’t bother taking anything with her. She didn’t need anything to rip out the slayer’s heart. *** The pain directed her there, intensifying suddenly, her version of "hot" and cold. She half stumbled, half ran. She was leaving the shop. The slayer was leaving the shop, and she was running. What filthy hope exuded from her! It was nauseating. She almost laughed aloud when she saw the slayer’s face as she realized what was going on. "Naughty, naughty, little slayer," she chided, smiling melodramatically. "I don’t have time for this, Dru," she answered, punctuating her statement with a hefty blow to the vampire’s jaw. She hadn’t expected the strength of that determination, and fell in shock to the floor. It didn’t take her long, however, to recover. She stood up and returned the punch. They were evenly matched tonight, blow for blow, growing stronger as they fought. But suddenly something obscured her vision, and she doubled over in pain. *Colors. There were so many colors…* She saw the slayer backing away, and shot out a claw to stop her. *Instantly, something focused. It was her. The blonde girl was standing next to a store. On the sidewalk. It was here, she was here. And the girl struck out at her in her dream.* Drusilla swiped at her arm hard enough to draw blood. She was frantically striking back at the dream, but still it came. *There was something in her hand. Sharp, wooden point, and it found it’s home in her chest. She watched in horror as the stake ripped through the black crepe and flesh together. And then there was that moment. She knew she was gone. She could see the dust.* And the slayer struck again. And again. *It was growing dimmer at a frightening pace. Suddenly, she couldn’t see at all, and she clawed at the darkness in vain.* It was over. She said a silent goodbye to dear Edith and her little Spike and felt a tear slip down her bloodless cheek. *Goodnight. I won’t be gone for long, I promise.* It was growing dimmer at a frightening pace. Suddenly, she couldn’t see at all, and she clawed at the darkness in vain. *** END, Interlude 0. Hope I didn’t confuse the heck out of everyone with this part! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge a Broken Blade (3/?) Date: 25 May 1998 01:38:18 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments or requests for previous parts to conor@dnaco.net ********** It had been hours before she=92d stopped crying, during which he=92d wal= ked her to his car and driven her back to her hotel. During the short drive, she=92d sat in a miserable huddle, not talking, just staring out the window. He=92d worried that he=92d pushed her too far, too fast. He had been informed that she was on thin ice emotionally, but he had felt that she needed a kick in the pants to get her over whatever had driven her from home. _That_ information had been left out of her dossier, and he couldn=92t really deal with an incident he had no knowledge of. Now, looking at her, he thought maybe a softer touch would have been better. Maybe it wasn=92t too late to salvage something. =93How about we get together tomorrow, and I=92ll show you Dayton?=94 he asked, and, after getting no response, said, =93Or we could just hang out and talk about why our lives suck.=94 She shot him a dirty look. =93What would you know about my life?=94 she asked, =93Oh, wait, that=92= s right, you=92ve got a file on me.=94=20 She went back to staring out the window, trying to ignore him. =93What I know is,=94 he replied, =93 you can=92t stay alone forever. I=92= m offering to be your friend, to listen to you bitch about the unfairness of it all, and to try to help you figure out what you=92re gonna do next. Trust me... you need someone. Who better than someone with at least a few of the same problems?=94 =93Look,=94 she snapped, pissed that he would try so transparent a tacti= c on her, =93I don=92t know you. I don=92t need you to be my friend. All yo= u=92re going to do is try to convince me to go back, and that=92s not going to happen. So you can just cut the Mr. Understanding act right now.=94 =93Yeah, ok,=94 he muttered, then changed the subject, =93Sorry to bothe= r you. Next time, I=92ll bleed on my own behalf. Like I asked for this anymore than you did.=94 =93What?=94 she said, glancing over at him. He pulled the car over, and rolled up his sleeve. A long cut, from his wrist almost to his elbow oozed a little blood as he jerked the arm up to show her. =93One of three,=94 he said quietly, =93I know you didn=92t need my help. You=92ve made that abundantly clear. But a =91thank you anyway=92 would h= ave been nice.=94 =93You should have that looked at,=94 she said, suddenly concerned, =93I= t looks pretty nasty.=94 *I didn=92t ask you to do that,* she thought, *I don=92t want anyone to = get hurt for me.* =93Nah,=94 he shrugged, =93I=92m a fast healer. A little hydrogen peroxi= de and I=92ll be good as new.=94 =93I can relate,=94 she said, thinking back to all the cuts and bruises she=92d gotten in the past two years; most of which were gone the next day, =93I have the same thing. It comes in handy sometimes.=94 =93I=92m sorry,=94 he chuckled, =93Was that something we have in common?= I must have misunderstood you.=94 She shot him a half smile, quickly suppressing it, as he continued. =93Tell you what,=94 he said, =93I promise not to try to get you back in harness. Screw the mystery organization. They don=92t care about us, anyway -- not as people. I=92ll tell them I blew it when I made contact, and you took off. You=92ll have to stop using the credit card, though. That=92s how they found you in the first place.=94 He couldn=92t believe he was saying what he was saying, but what was mor= e important to him was that he actually meant it. If she didn=92t want to g= o back, he wouldn=92t be the one to make her. He knew what she was feeling, and he understood how it must seem to a sixteen year old to know that what short life they were allowed was not theirs to control. *The Hell with it,* he thought, *I=92ll help her get free.* =93Look,=94 he said, as she frowned at him, trying to decide if he was suddenly sincere, =93I don=92t want you to take this the wrong way, but I= =92ve got a spare room at my place, no credit card required. You can stay with me for a couple of days until you figure out your next step.=94 =93How do I know you won=92t call the Mystery Squad and have me hauled b= ack to Sunnydale?=94 she asked, even though she believed him -- sort of. =93You don=92t,=94 he replied, =93But I won=92t. Whatever you decide to = do, they=92re out of the loop.=94 =93Let me think about it,=94 she said, =93I can=92t concentrate enough a= round this headache to decide what to eat when I get back to the hotel.=94 =93Okay,=94 he said, =93I=92ll swing by tomorrow? If you=92re here, grea= t. If you=92re not... good luck. But I hope you=92ll let me help you.=94 They pulled up to the hotel entrance, and she got out. =93Don=92t hurry tomorrow,=94 she said, leaning in the car window, =93I = plan on sleeping until at least noon.=94=20 She stretched, eliciting a long series of pops from her spine. =93I=92m really going to pay for tonight tomorrow,=94 she said, and with= a wave, headed into the hotel. *Yeah,* Rick thought to himself as he drove away, *Me too, and for more than just the fight.* Inside the hotel, Buffy checked her injuries, and the worst, the lump on her head, had already stopped bleeding and was losing some of it=92s swelling. *Thank God for mutant healing factors,* she thought as she climbed exhaustedly into bed. She thought about the night=92s events, trying to decide what to do. Her first instinct was to run for it and try to lose herself so no-one would ever find her. She didn=92t think that would work very well, though, sinc= e she still had to eat, and to eat, she needed to use her card. Tomorrow, she=92d start taking her max cash withdrawals off of the card, and squirreling away the money. Maybe she=92d take off once she had enoug= h money to carry her for a while. Until then.... well, in the final evaluation, she thought she could trust this Rick guy, for at least a while. He seemed sincere in his concern, and if he was a little harsh, well, she hadn=92t exactly been nice to him. It sounded like this =93organization=94 had known where she was since she got here, and if the= y wanted someone to just grab her, they could have done that by now. She really did need a friend right now, and he did seem to know how she felt. He wasn=92t too sympathetic, but at least he gave her a chance to talk before he judged her. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff, at least for a little while.=20 She missed Willow and wished that she had her to talk to about this. Willow was a better judge of this kind of thing. However, Buffy still wasn=92t ready to call her, so she=92d have to decide on her own. *I=92ll sleep on it,* she thought, as she slowly drifted off to sleep, *And make a decision in the morning.* ********** The next day, they both woke up sore and tired. He hadn=92t slept much, worrying about whether or not she=92d be gone when he went to check on her, and she had tossed and turned all night, torn between her various needs and wants. They breakfasted at about the same time, got cleaned up and then Rick headed over to the hotel. After much agonizing and soul searching, Buffy had decided to take Rick up on his offer. It was better than the alternative, bleeding her bank account dry until she had no choice but to live on the street. _If_ he really wasn=92t going to turn her in, and _if_ he wasn=92t going to try t= o convince her to go back. She went down and checked out, grimacing at the amount she=92d run up in only a week. She glanced at her watch -- 11:23. She sat down in the lobby and waited for Rick to show up. He came pulling up at 12:01, and she thought wryly that it was a good thing she=92d gotten up earlier than planned. He was glad to see her sitting there. He=92d more than half expected her to be long gone. =93Hey,=94 he said, as she climbed into the car, =93How=92s the head?=94 =93It=92s good,=94 she replied, =93How=92s the arm?=94 =93Fine,=94 he lied, =93Almost good as new.=94 In actuality, it was a little swollen, and he was worried about infection. He=92d begun to notice that he didn=92t heal as fast as he had when he was younger. Oh well, just one more thing to worry about. As if his plate wasn=92t already full enough. They didn=92t say anything else as he pulled away from the hotel and int= o traffic.=20 They drove a while in silence, and finally she said, =93No pressure to g= o back, and no report to the home office, right?=94 =93I give you my word,=94 he replied gravely, =93I won=92t push you to d= o anything you don=92t want to do, and as far as my information broker is concerned, you=92re gone.=94 They drove along, with her looking out the window and him pointing out places of interest. Finally, they pulled onto a long, gravel road.=20 Buffy started to get a little nervous. Could she have read this guy wrong? It didn=92t _feel_ like he was going to do her dirty, but she=92d been wrong about people before. They pulled up next to a large house with an attached garage, with a small car out front. =93Home sweet home,=94 he muttered. He led her in the front door, and turned off the security system.=20 =93The code is 0187, then 1 to turn it off or 2 to turn it on.=94 he sai= d, =93I have a spare key around here somewhere. The Toyota out there is your= s to use. I got it for my son, but he=92s got a while before he can drive it.=94 =93Umm... no license.=94 she said, =93I haven=92t really needed one befo= re. Sunnydale is pretty small.=94 =93We=92ll work on that, somehow,=94 he said, =93Anyway, kitchen=92s in = there, TV room, main bath=92s upstairs to the left, your room is down the hall from it.=94 He gestured toward each room as he ticked it off, =93You won=92t h= ave to share the bathroom with me, though, because your room has it=92s own. Come on, I=92ll show you.=94=20 As they went upstairs, he continued, =93Out through the kitchen is my office/gym, in case you feel the need to work out. I=92ve got a pell out there as well as a heavy bag. Anything you need, just let me know, I=92ll take care of it." He pointed out more rooms as they passed them, "Main bath, my room, spare room, linen closet -- plenty of towels and spare blankets in there, and here=92s your room. It=92s actually my daughter=92= s room, but she doesn=92t use it much, so it=92s no big deal. Your bathroom= is through there.=94 Buffy looked around the room, obviously decorated for a girl of about six or seven years old. She could see how much love had gone into this room, but it didn=92t look lived in. It looked more like a model, or a shrine. Rick followed her gaze, and quietly said, =93I know, it=92s a little you= ng for you. Change whatever you want, it=92s no big deal.=94 =93No, this will be okay,=94 she replied, =93I could take the other spar= e room, if that=92d be easier. I don=92t want to put your daughter out.=94 He chuckled without any real mirth, =93Nah, to tell the truth, she hasn=92= t been here in six years, and we don=92t have any plans for her to be here any time soon. Besides, the other room is for her brother, decorated when he was eight. You=92ll like this one better. Seriously, make whateve= r changes you want, she wouldn=92t like it this way anyway.=94 He looked so sad that Buffy wanted to ask him what had happened to keep his children away from him, but he didn=92t seem to want to talk, so instead, she tossed her bag on the bed and checked out the bathroom. =93I=92ll let you get settled in,=94 he said, =93If you need anything ju= st yell.=94 He shut the door behind him as he left. Buffy sat down on the bed, and looked around the room. The pink unicorn wallpaper was going to drive her crazy if she ended up staying very long, but the stuffed animals reminded her of Willow=92s room, so they could probably stay. She wandered around the room, picking up the various knick-knacks and opening drawers and closet doors. She picked up a big gray teddy bear and hung onto it as she finished the tour. The bear seemed more broken in than most of the other toys in the room, like maybe Rick=92s daughter had actually played with it. It was very snuggly, so Buffy tossed it onto the bed. She figured she=92d need something snuggly. She checked the bed -- one blanket. *Well,* she thought, *That will never do.* She stepped out into the hall and across to the linen closet, and as she opened the door, she heard him talking to someone, probably on the phone. =93Damn it, Trina,=94 he was saying, =93I just want to see them.=94 He paused, then said, =93I know. Hell, you think I don=92t remember? No, no, listen.... I think that they=92ll be safe around me in broad daylight.=94 Another pause, then, =93No, I can=92t say with 100% certaint= y that that won=92t happen, you know that.... Yes, I know that this was my idea in the first place, but....... Okay, fine, sue me for missing them!=94 Buffy heard him slam the phone down, and realized she was standing in the hallway listening. She quickly reached into the closet and pulled out a nice heavy quilt. Rick came out of his room fuming and stopped short when he saw her standing there. =93Umm... you heard?=94 he asked with some embarrassment. =93Yeah, sorry,=94 she replied, =93I couldn=92t help it.=94 =93Don=92t worry about it,=94 he said, =93It=92s just life crapping on m= e. You get used to it after a while.=94 =93You want to talk about it?=94 she asked. =93I thought we were gonna talk about why _your_ life sucked today.=94 h= e said, =93This is nothing new for me.=94 =93I=92d rather talk about your problems.=94 she smiled weakly, =93It mi= ght take my mind off of mine for a while. I could really use that.=94 =93Okay,=94 he replied glumly, =93Come on downstairs and I=92ll tell you= my whole sad tale.=94 more to come... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LnCAGCRulz Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Librarian's Discovery (1/1) Date: 25 May 1998 02:20:59 EDT Title: The Librarian’s Discovery Author: Emily J. Jerome (lncagcrulz@aol.com) Rating: G… G-, even :) Summary: Giles makes a discovery (betcha’ didn’t figure that one out) and a few corrections along the way. Placement: wherever you want to put it, I guess :) Distribution: Take it, place it, let people see it! (The code I live by. ;) The one thing I ask: let me know beforehand. Feedback: Congratulate me or flame me – I expect both so feel free. Either here or privately is fine, although I ask that, at the expense of others, you only send opinions that everyone would be concerned about to the list. If you can’t decide which, if you’re expecting a response from ME back, send it straight to me. Any questions. :) Note: I know that it probably isn’t my place to say, but I’ve noticed that many fanfic writers don’t put as much care into their work as they could. Thereby I’ve taken it upon myself to point out a view common problems. The point should be made that there are many writers out there who do a fabulous job with their fics. Likewise, there are many who have too many distracting problems left in. This is, if nothing else, a way for me to put a quickie English lesson into a fun fanfic. Or semi-fun, at least. I have missed mistakes, I know. It’s 1 o’something in the morning… I’m burnt… I’m tired… the typical whine of a high schooler. ;) I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, and whether you do or you don’t, I’d like you to let your thoughts be known. Also, while I’m at it, I don’t really want everyone to think that I’m a English professor at some prodigious school. I’m simply me – a high school freshman (cut the freshman cracks… I’m only in this place for 12 and a half more days ) who actually likes writing and the English language as a whole. I make mistakes. I was educated through eighth grade in the California public school system. I DO MAKE MISTAKES! I’ve gone through spell check on this thing, just like everyone else does. Basically, don’t think I’m taking down to ya’, because that really isn’t my intent. Now, without further ado… The Liberian’s Discovery by Emily J. Jerome (lncagcrulz@aol.com) Giles walked up to the laptop sitting in the corner of the library. After taking a look at the flying colored lines on the screen, the man sighed. "I swear. Willow must leave this... thing here - on, nonetheless -, just to try to get me to do... whatever it is you do with it," he said under his breath. After a few more minutes of non-coherently staring at the screen, Giles decided that he may as well go for it. Resting his elbows on the edge of the counter, he put his finger softly on the small red mouse positioned between the keys. Not until he tried everything else did the librarian run is index finger over the button, an action which finally interrupted the indefinitely repeating colors. "Finally," he murmured as his finger kept hitting the ball, making the cursor fly across the screen. Only after chasing the thing with his eyes for a few minutes did he realize that it was, in fact, is actions that were causing the rapid movement. Only when the white arrow had finally ceased movement Giles was able to focus on the true content of the screen. "Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fanfic," he read out loud. "They KNOW? Who are these people?!? And what is fanfic?" Repositioning his glasses on his nose and navigating the cursor to the correct link, he clicked. As he rested his head on his right hand, he began to read. a pom four angle oh angle i love yo i wish you wer myne forevr and ever and you are so sexi and i luv you and you ned to dump tht bufie girl He read the words on his screen once, then twice, and a third time aloud before truly understanding what it said. "Poem!" the reserved man exclaimed, perhaps a little too loud for is solitary state. "They think they wrote a POEM! Not a pom!" Then, after future consideration he added, "Except that's technically prose... and lacking complete sentences... and correctly spelled words... and grammar of any kind... and any sense whatsoever." He punctuated his thoughts with a sigh, completely having forgotten the similarity to his own life what he was reading held. It took awhile, but eventually Giles found the 'Back' button on the browser and returned to the story listing. He followed another link and took the time to read, hoping that this writer was a little more caring of their work. Happily Ever After So far, the title looked good. This persuaded the man to read further. Writers Note: I wrote this by myself. I do not own these people, some guy with a lot of money does. I don't have any money. I'm just a poor 13-year-old who doesn’t know how to write. This is just fun for me. Send your comments to me at girl13@aol.com. Oh, and I don't make any money off of this. None. Not at all. And I own everything you don't know. Ha, ha, ha. Mine, mine, mine. I was smart enough to make them, not you, so they're mine. "And I'm not sharing!" he added in a faux high-pitched voice. "Well then... cocky are we?" With that he moved on to another story. Without Fear Authors Note: You know the typical... I don't own 'em, I don't make any money off 'em, no copyright infringement intended. Please send all comments to me at medawriter@yahoo.com. Xander walked into the library. He looked at Giles standing by a table. Giles was reading another book. He was always reading a book. "What are you reading?" the boy asked. "A book," said the librarian. "What's it about?" Xander asked. "Vampires and demons," the librarian said. "Oh. That's what you always read about," the boy said. Then he said some sarcastic comment, because he always does. Willow came into the library. She hit Xander because he said something stupid. "Xander," she said. "What?" he said. She sighed at him. Then all three of them turned to the door to see Buffy walk in. "Potential, at least..." Giles murmured. "Full sentences... even if they are predictable and repetitive in format. Quotes... with unnecessary tags. Quotes, still. It may have had a good story, even." Deciding the story was too constant in phrasing, Giles once again moved on. My Life as a Slayer Author's Note: I can't spell, so get ovr it. I hat slaing vampires. Their stupid. I dont lik them. it wood be nice if they'd all die ded. But thats my job thou. I gues I can do it. I dont wat too tough. Not even taking the time to read after the first few lines, he carried on. These machines did have spell checks, right? A Good Fanfic "Woah, catchy title…" As Buffy walked into the library, she looked around. She notices it was empty, and decided to find out why. Walking quickly out the door, she will run down the street, only to find it empty just like the library is. "Tense agreement… I would have thought everyone would have learned that young…" Knowing that the inconsistency of tense would make him nervous, Giles went on to one last story before finally leaving school for the day, just past 11 o’clock at night. The Librarian’s Discovery Authors Note: I know that it probably isn't my place to say, but I've noticed that many fanfic writers don't put enough care into their work as they could. Thereby I've taken it upon myself to point out a few common problems. "Where does she think she gets all that power from? My god..." He skipped that one as well, closing the computer down to the best of his ability. "And what is fanfic, anyway?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Librarian's Discovery (1/1) Date: 25 May 1998 07:55:11 EDT ::laughing so hard she's nearly falling out of her chair:: Brava! ::claps:: ::takes a breath:: Honestly, nice points made. Though I *did* notice a few typos-- "is" instead of "his", etc. Which is why, in addition to spellchecking, you've got to also read it carefully...like the other day I turned "Future Imperfect" in for an english assignment, and as I was reading thru it I realized I'd used "yes" instead of "eyes"-- typoed and left off the first "e". Luckily, had time to reprint. :) But that kind of thing *is* important. Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (1/4) Date: 25 May 1998 11:55:56 EDT Notes: This takes place after "The Becoming II", over summer vacation...I'm thinking mid-July. Disclaimers: I don't own any of this except for Scott and Tyler, and even then I only own the names and the idea of the characters 'cause Joss has dibs on the Dingoes themselves. Story is mine. Yadda yadda yadda. Distribution: Not without my permission, please. Feedback: Positive & negative both welcome, private or public, but if public be sure the rest of the list would wanna know. :) Private to KylenRevik@aol.com. ~ "No Need To Argue" "Yo, Ozzie! You kiss her any longer, and you're gonna be fuckin' _fucking_ her!" Scott turned around and smacked Devon on the head, and the lead singer flinched away before turning a defensive look on the drummer. "What the hell was that for?" he yelled. "You're being freaking obnoxious, man!" Scott hissed. "Yeah, well, look at him kissing her!" Devon turned his attention back to the window, looking out at where Oz was saying a seriously fond good-bye to his girlfriend, that mousy techhead high-schooler, and shook his head. "S'not like we're gonna be gone for-fuckin'-ever, you know." Scott glanced out the window and shrugged, though inwardly he had to admit that this kiss was lasting, well, longer than most good-bye kisses lasted. "He's not gonna see her for two months," he said weakly. "I mean," Devon continued, taking no notice of Scott's point, "it's not like he won't have the chance to kiss anybody till we get back, you know, groupies and stuff." He shook his head, obviously disapprobing. "He's a college man now! He shouldn't be hanging around with losers like that--" He broke off at the look Scott gave him, and shook his head. "Man, I dunno whatcher beef is." "He's a friend. She's his girlfriend." He shook his head. "That means you show _respect_, man. I mean, what's _your_ problem with her? S'not my type, but you know, that doesn't mean I have to put her down every chance I get." "You know," Devon said, looking at him sideways, "just don't, okay? Don't." "Don't what, tell you to get a grip on the 'tude before you--" "Before I what?!" "Before you make some kinda ass outta yourself!" Scott sighed, shaking his head. "Man," he continued, "this is just not a good way to start this trip, so let's drop it now." Devon looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, fine," he acceded. Scott sat in silence for a moment before leaning on the horn a little. He didn't think Devon had any kind of point, but well, there _was_ a limit to how much of this lovey-dovey-P-D-A crap a guy could be expected to just sit by and watch. * "Whoa," Oz said, pulling away from Willow as the van's horn blasted behind them. He grinned a little, brushing her face with his fingers. "Time for me to book would be now, it appears." Willow smiled slightly, and for a moment Oz could almost ignore the pained light that had been in her eyes since before the end of the school year, after Buffy had left. And hadn't come back. Then her smile faded and she gave him another quick kiss. "I'll miss you," she offered. He smiled. "Miss you too," he replied. Then he glanced back toward her house. "But, well, don't let that mean you don't go out, hang with the gang, okay? Have party-time." "Cordelia's at some fancy summer camp," Willow reminded him, "and Xander's got the internship at Channel Four." And Giles hadn't been around much since the end of the year, Oz knew, but Willow didn't say that. She didn't say much of anything these days. She shrugged. "No party-time to be had." He sighed, then shrugged. "Well, I'll be back, before you know it even." "I know." The tone in which she said the words was so quiet, so softspoken, that Oz felt something inside him wanting to stay here with her-- or even take her on the trip, though he had a pretty good idea of how that kind of news would have gone over with the rest of the guys. Neither option being plausible, he moved to give her another kiss. Their lips had barely touched when he heard Devon's voice ring out. Again. "Oz, would you fucking get a _move_ on?! We wanna be in LA before _tomorrow_, you know!" He sighed, resting his forehead against Willow's for a moment, then pulling away. "I gotta go," he told her, and when she nodded he gave her hand a quick squeeze. Then he walked over to the van, waving as he climbed into the driver's seat. "Nice show," Devon grinned from the back seat. Oz half-turned and shot him a look. "What about the tone you said that in leads me to doubt your sincerity?" Rolling his eyes, Devon shook his head. "F'get it, man," he said, "just forget it." Exchanging a quick look with Scott, Oz just shrugged, then slid a tape into the stereo and turned up the volume. *What a way to start the vacation,* he thought with an inward sigh as he started the engine and the van pulled out of the driveway, then drove away and left Willow standing on his front lawn, alone. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (3/4) Date: 25 May 1998 11:56:08 EDT Comments and requests for missing pieces to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. See part 1 for notes and disclaimers. ~ Losing himself in the music had been the one good thing that had happened to Oz since the band had left Sunnydale that morning. After a long ride, he and Scott had picked up Chinese and ridden the rest of the way home in silence. The night had begun on an odd note, and as it had worn on Oz was fast becoming more and more aware of by how little Scott had been exaggerating earlier, about Devon and his general level of pissy-ness. He had hoped that once the music started flowing, the members of the band would loosen up some, trust each other a little more, stop acting like such idiots. It wasn't happening. Devon's voice was off by a few notes every little while, and though most of the audience wouldn't see it, Oz knew. Scott's drumming was a little hard on the downbeat, he was putting his trap set through a little more abuse than it was used to. Tyler, he'd been playing the plastic keys of his keyboard like there was no tomorrow, but at least he hadn't been screwing up chords like usual. That was a relief, if nothing else was. And for himself, Oz knew he had missed a few chords thinking about things outside the music when the notes should have been the only things possessing his soul. The first set came to a close, and they got applause, but not the kind he had expected. It was an applause that said they'd done okay, given an okay first try, but the crowd wasn't impressed. And that, Oz knew, was not a good thing. So as the band filed off stage after assuring the people who'd come that they'd be back in an hour, Oz wasn't sure what to expect from the others. He half wondered if Devon would go mingle, pick up a girl or three, just to avoid him. Because he wasn't going to let this one rest. Not when they were on their first real tour, and not when they seemed to be setting themselves up to fail so badly. "Dev," he called as soon as they were out of earshot of the stage. Devon stopped, then glanced at Scott and Tyler, then to Oz. "Yeah?" he asked. "Chill, would you? Out there?" "You nuts?" Devon shook his head, a slightly arrogant smile passing over his lips. "Man, I'm hot out there tonight. Chillin' is _not_ what I plan on--" "Devon," Oz interrupted, his voice somehow remaining even, "look. You don't like Willow, fine, but don't like her on your own time 'cause I love her and she's not _going_ anywhere." Devon stared at him for a moment, apparently unsure of how to react to the statement, now that it had been made, and made so plainly. Finally, he spoke. "Yeah, well." He shrugged, and there was no animosity in his voice when he spoke again. "Suit your fucking self, man. I need a glass of water." He turned and walked toward the bar, presumably to fulfill his need for a drink. Oz turned to Scott, the look on his face asking what Scott thought of how he'd handled things. Scott just shrugged. "Luck, man," he said, then he too walked off in the direction Devon had gone in. * Third set, almost over, end of the night and mostly nobody was sticking around anymore. They hadn't run out of songs, but the Dingoes were obviously getting tired, and the crowd had picked up on it. The night hadn't gone so well. Oz supposed there was at least the fact that he and Devon were now speaking to each other again, without the hidden desire to rip each other in half, and he should be happy with that, and he was, sort of. Now, what was distracting him was that Willow wasn't here. She was alone, back in Sunnydale. He sighed. Willow hadn't been in a good way since Buffy had left, and it sucked, and there wasn't a hell of a lot he could do about it. Whatever had happened, he hadn't been in on it. He shook his head slightly, concentrating harder on the music. One of his songs, he knew it by heart and it was just a matter of concentrating on putting the same feelings Willow had shown when he'd talked to her, the night he'd gotten the idea on how to write it. That had hurt, big time. Seeing the woman he loved so upset. Not that it wasn't completely justified upset-ness, because he knew if one of his best friends suddenly vanished he'd be pretty damn upset, too, but it always tore him apart to see Willow in this much pain. And then he'd gone off and left her back in Sunnydale without him. He tossed a glance over to Devon, who was just moving into the second repetition of the refrain. //Can you catch a falling star without burning your hand? Even footsteps have to fade when they're made upon the sand And nobody's invincible, everyone makes mistakes You never meant to hurt them and you can't be she who breaks.// He winced inwardly, the intensity flowing through his body to his fingers, letting them play that much harder as he remembered the look on Willow's face. *"She probably thinks we're all-- that we'll hate her,"* Willow had said, explaining why it was she thought Buffy hadn't come home yet. *"She's so _hard_ on herself, and I mean, you know, if she would just, just look at everything she's done, then she'd see that even, you know, if any of this was her fault, it wouldn't _matter_, because she's still one of my and Xander's best friends, and..."* As Willow had continued, talking for hours on end about Buffy and how much she missed her, the ideas for the song had begun to form in Oz's mind, and he'd written it in the space of half an hour as soon as he'd dropped her off at home. He'd never shown it to Willow, mostly because he was half-afraid he was invading somewhere she might want to keep private. But it was a good song, and it needed to be played, so he'd suggested it as one of the songs they could play near the end of the last set. That way, if it turned out to be a flop, it wouldn't be as though that many people were around to hear it. And if it wasn't, then they would be able to end off with something halfway decent. The song moved into the musical bridge, and Oz found himself playing so hard that he could feel the skin on his fingers getting sore, stinging even through the callouses he'd had for years. Happened every so often. Tyler's keyboarding was strong, Scott had finally stopped trying to beat his drums into pieces, and Devon's voice was back on target for nearly every note. Oz allowed himself a slight smile, pulling himself up from the guilt at how he was having a decently good time while Willow was most likely home alone and miserable. He shook his head, his eyes closed, as the song moved into the final verse and then slowed and ended. The applause from the remaining members of the audience wasn't what it had been earlier in the evening, but in comparison to the proportion of people who had stayed, it was strong. Oz smiled slightly. So he had at least captured something true there, then. Hadn't been a complete poser, and his attempt to hold onto the look in Willow's eyes and the tone in her voice when she'd spoken about Buffy hadn't been completely in vain. "Hey," Devon whispered across the stage, covering the mike to keep from broadcasting to the audience, "I say we cut it there. Good ending." The other members of Dingoes Ate My Baby nodded, and all took their final bows as Devon announced that he hoped everybody had a nice night, etcetera, and so on. Then the band left the stage, and Oz found that he was decently happy about how the night had wound up going. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (4/4) Date: 25 May 1998 11:56:12 EDT See part 1 for notes and disclaimers. Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please, along with requests for missing pieces. ~ "Hey, he's got a girlfriend." "Well where is he?" "What, you can't hear me? He's not gonna be _interested_, hot stuff." "Well," the female voice snapped, and Oz again shook the feeling that it was somewhat familiar, "I don't care if he's interested or not, 'cause I'm only interested in talking to him. So where is he?" There was a moment of silence, and then Oz heard Devon mumble something grudgingly, and the woman's voice say an impatient, "Now see, that wasn't so hard." Then he heard footsteps coming toward the back of the club, where he and Scott were loading up the van with equipment. "Hey," came the woman's voice from behind him. "Oz?" He started to turn, prepared to give whoever this girl was a quick brush-off and good-bye. Devon, though he'd been slightly over-obnoxious about it, was completely correct in the point that Oz wasn't interested in hooking up with any groupies. But when he saw her, his eyes widened and he did a double- take. He considered a triple, then decided that would be counterproductive, and stared instead. "Buffy?" Knowing Willow would want a full report, Oz took in the girl's appearance. She had lost weight. Her hair wasn't perfectly done, and her clothing seemed slightly less up-to-speed than usual, but she was still _Buffy_. "Where've you been?" he asked. "Around," she shrugged. "You free to talk? Just for a few?" Oz glanced at Scott, who was giving him a strange look, then back to Buffy and nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Scott, take care of things, I owe you one." When Buffy nodded for him to follow her, he did so, not sure of where would be the best place to start firing off questions. Or even, he realized, if firing questions was something he should be thinking about doing. Instead, he stayed quiet as Buffy led him to a coffee bar around the corner, then moved to a booth, indicating for him to join her. "So," he said with a swallow. "How've you been?" "Okay," she shrugged. She dug into her jacket pocket, withdrawing an 8x10 sheet of wrinkled paper-- a modest-sized publicity poster, the kind that got hung in windows and coffee shops-- and smoothing it onto the tabletop. "Saw that you guys were going to play," she said by way of explanation. Oz nodded, unsure of what he was supposed to say. "And you know, I thought maybe I'd just come in a little..." She looked up at him, and Oz sighed, not knowing what to say or how to say it, finally deciding that honesty was the best policy here. As usual. "Willow misses you," he said, his voice neither accusatory nor judgmental. He had the feeling Buffy wasn't needing that kind of pressure at this point. "But she'll be glad when I tell her you're okay, so well, that's a good thing..." He trailed off when Buffy shook her head. "Not a good thing?" "Not a telling-Willow thing." His brow furrowed. "Buffy," he began, but she spoke before he could finish. "Oz, don't tell them I'm around here, okay? I don't want them coming looking for me." "But Willow--" "Is going to have to stay worried," Buffy said in a firm but worried tone. "Because I don't want her to come looking for me." Oz swallowed. "Lying's just...not," he told her. "She asks, I'll tell her." He hated saying it, but in the end his loyalty was to Willow-- not the friend who had run away from her. Buffy looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "Yeah...okay." She swallowed. "But you won't bring it up unless she asks first. Oz nodded. "Deal." "Is she okay? All of them?" "Everybody's around," he shrugged. "Existing. Living." Buffy nodded, and for a moment Oz saw a haunted, frightened look in her eyes. It was gone as soon as it had come, and he found himself unsure of whether it had ever really been there at all, or not. "Why'd you go?" he asked. She shrugged. "They don't need me around, screwing up their lives. They don't need me to hurt them." "But--" "Oz," she broke in, and he became aware of the fact that she wasn't listening to him at all, "don't fight me on this, and don't tell me about them. Please." He nodded, though the gesture was somewhat reluctant. "Okay, so." "So." They watched each other for a few seconds, then she managed a slight smile. "I just, you know, wanted to check up on things. You know." "Yeah," he replied, "yeah, checking is cool, I guess. You should come back." "I can't. Ever." Why not, he wanted to ask. He still didn't know the whole story, everything that had happened and why she had gone, but if what Willow said was true, he knew she could come home. But how to tell her that? Slowly, she stood, backing away a little. "I'm..." She offered a slight smile. "I have to go," she said. "Slaying stuff." He nodded. "Okay," he replied. "And Buffy?" "Yeah?" "Thanks. For saving her." The blonde's expression fell, and she shook her head. "I didn't save anybody," she replied softly, before she turned and walked away. Oz stared after her, unsure of what had just happened. It had seemed like Buffy, it had acted like Buffy-- at least, it had acted like what he sort of kinda remembered Buffy acting like, or something. But she'd just...and then...and he shook his head as Scott walked up behind him. "So like, I was looking for you, what're you doing out here?" "Hm?" "Earth to Ozzie-boy," Scott said, snapping his fingers in front of Oz's face, "but we _do_ want to get, y'know, back to Devon's uncle's place before there's no more time to sleep, so you wanna forget mystery girl and get a move on?" Oz swallowed, his eyes still glued to where Buffy had vanished to, and it was a long few moments before he finally nodded. "Yeah," he said, "okay." "C'mon, then," Scott told him, ushering him back toward the club. As they walked, Oz found himself wondering what it was that had just taken place, how it had happened, how it could have happened, and what he would tell Willow when he got home. He was tempted to break away from Scott, go after Buffy, and then...what? He couldn't force her to come back to Sunnydale, couldn't do anything like that. He sighed, resigning himself to the knowledge that at the very least, despite his promise, he could tell Willow her friend had seemed alright. He hoped. As Scott slid into the driver's seat, letting Oz take the passenger one and stay immersed in his thoughts, Oz was slowly considering what had happened and what would happen now. He'd just seen Buffy, that much was sure. And he wasn't going to be talking to Willow for at least another few days. Whatever the Slayer had meant by not being able to come home, Oz knew Willow would disagree with it. What's more, he could see in Buffy's eyes that living on the streets, or wherever it was she'd been living, was not a good thing for her. He sighed and shook his head, knowing he couldn't have followed her if she hadn't wanted to be trailed, but wishing he'd have been able to do more. "Hey man," Scott said from the driver's seat. "You okay?" His eyes moving skyward, where he could barely make out the form of a half-moon through the Los Angeles smog, Oz shrugged. "Yeah," he said. "So who was the chick?" "A friend," Oz replied. "Somebody I used to kinda know." There was no answer from the teen driving the car, and they drove the rest of the way to Devon's uncle's house in silence. THE END Copyright 1998 Rachel Brody Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (2/4) Date: 25 May 1998 12:03:15 EDT (Sorry for the delay, typed the addy wrong and it bounced back to me) ~ E-mail KylenRevik@aol.com for missing pieces or comments, please. See part 1 for disclaimers. ~ Glancing over the set the Dingoes had put together earlier in the afternoon, Oz was still trying to figure out how exactly one was supposed to separate the cheese from the pizza when it just kept stringing out. Behind him, the rest of the band was setting up in preparation for the night's show. Well, Oz amended mentally, Scott and Devon were setting up for the night's show. Tyler, who had driven to Los Angeles himself and had been staying with college friends had been sleeping since five minutes after he'd met them here at the club. Oz sighed, finally giving up on biting off the cheese, and used his fingers to pull the rest off and drop it into his mouth. Then he winced at the temperature of the melted mozzarella, and then he nearly yelled when the sauce as it hit the roof of his mouth. "Jeez..." he sighed as he went to get a glass of water. Devon hadn't spoken to him since the fight in the van earlier that day. It was something he was totally cool with, the whole not talking thing, except that he was more than slightly frustrated with the fact that it meant the band was operating as less than one complete, cohesive unit. Didn't matter so much as far as the talking went, but if the music suffered, there would be big problems. He sighed, shaking his head as he took a sip of the glass of water he'd left sitting on one of the front tables, then left the crust part of his slice of pizza, sans sauce and cheese, on the table in favor of the guitar he'd left on stage. "Hey," he called to Scott as he picked up the instrument, "time?" "Three-fifteen," Scott informed him. Club opened at six, there was a DJ until seven thirty, then the Dingoes played three hour-long sets with breaks. Long night ahead. And several more to follow, here in Los Angeles, before the next one, up the coast in San Francisco. Then there were a few more, then they started working their way back down toward Sunnydale. All in all, the trip was going to be three weeks long. Almost enough to be called a tour, and there were several places where there was a decent chance the Dingoes might manage to run across talent scouts-- maybe. Better not to count on that, though, 'cause he was still enrolled in Sunnydale U's music program come the end of August. College. Wow. He stopped for a moment to ponder that thought. College. He shook his head. Wow. "Oz," came a call from where Scott had finally finished putting his trap set in order for the night's show, "you wanna go with me, pick up Chinese?" "Full," Oz replied, his fingers starting to play over the strings on his guitar. "Come on," Scott said, nodding toward the back entrance of the club. "Forget that, you don't need to eat, just company, 'kay?" Oz glanced up, his fingers not missing a beat as they strummed chords in the absence of his concentration, and it wasn't until then that he realized Scott hadn't really been asking a question. He sighed, nodded, set his guitar down, and rose. "Coming," he gave in, and the two of them left the stage and the club. Neither spoke until Oz slid into the driver's seat, and Scott had buckled his seat belt. "Devon's ticked," Scott sighed. "Nice to know," Oz replied, and he wasn't sure if his tone was sarcastic or apathetic, or something else entirely. "What's his deal?" "You're pissing him off, Ozzie," Scott said. "This whole brooding thing. I mean, okay, I understand that you and the girl are tight and all, but--" "Scott," Oz said, his hand freezing on the gear shift as he fixed his eyes on his friend's. "Yeah?" "Willow's not a part of this equation." "Except--" Oz shook his head. "Neh. If Dev has problems with me, this is something we can work with, but messing with the relationship thing is something I'm for in this, well, a really _not_ way." "Obviously," Scott snapped, "or you'd have ditched her a long time ago." Seeing the look that crossed Oz's face at that, Scott rushed to add, "Oz, you don't get it, he does not _like_ that chick. He doesn't like the idea of you seeing her, he doesn't like the idea that she's got some kinda hold on you. He doesn't like her and he's starting to not like you because of it." Oz shook his head. "Told you already," he said. "Willow's not a part of this equation." "But--" "Scott," Oz said, and a hint of warning entered his voice, "drop." Scott looked at him for a long few minutes before he sighed and nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Consider it dropped." argue ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 23) Date: 25 May 1998 14:39:13 -0700 Alright, I'm finally back on track. And I have all sorts of wonderful idea's in store for Drusilla. For a note this chapter right here is rate pg It's good clean fun. But for reference it's gonna get bumpy. C'mon people, were making a girl insane here, it's gotta be rate R Enjoy! Charlotte Sometimes (part 23) Love! Oh god! Love. Her head was filled with daisies, fields of rainbows, and lusty children running in vast lands high in the clouds. Love! It was like looking through a wall made of glass seeing everything for the first time, and in new light. Bright light! Illuminating all details to the peek of perfection. All substance in her life held a sudden significance and all things that were meaningless before, now. Weren't. Her eyes darted open. She couldn't sleep tonight. Nothing could calm her body of this wonderful high she'd felt after hearing him say those words. I love you! She was home; she didn't know how she'd gotten home. She was in bed. She couldn't remember putting on her nightgown, but here she lay. Awake. Sleep was impossible. The chimes were going off again and again, reminding her that it was approaching dawn and she needed her rest. One... But he loved her! Her body could live for years off this, if nothing else. Two... I love him... At least she thinks... Affection. They share affection if nothing more, but so much affection. So much love it looks like everything else! Three... Oh god! Three a.m.! And wide-awake she lay, not even contemplating rest. Her body got out of bed, and her robe was tied around her waist. She began to walk down the stairs, before her mind told her what her body was doing. Milk, mother used to boil milk when sleep wouldn't come, and that's what she would do. She floated down the stairs. Her body moving on it's own as her mind sang to her of beautiful things. And there she sat. Her mother up. Sitting at the kitchen table, staring as her daughter walked down the steps. "Hello Drusilla" Isabelle said softly as her daughter came within reaching distance That incredible feeling of joy and wonderment was stripped from her as she gazed at her mother's face. Isabelle's eyes were a reddened color, and looked incredibly thin, so unhealthy. The bones in her cheeks were beginning to show. Her face was pale and had red blotches in selected places. She looked like death had visited her. "I heard you were out tonight" Her voice was tender, barely audible. But it only increased the questions' weight. Drusilla couldn't form the voice to say a word as she stared at her mother's face in dull shock. For as long as she could remember Isabelle had been on of the loveliest ladies she'd ever gazed apon. Her cheeks were always rosy and her lips the color of wine. Her hair was always full, and alive, shimmering in its brilliance. Shallow as it was her mothers' looks ment a great deal to her, and to see her like this, it was as though she'd been sucked down to hell with her. Tears came to Drusilla's eyes as she realized what was happening. Her mother's body was dying. Her mother was preparing to go away with father. To leave her! To leave Dru and Lydia all alone in the mortal world! "Hush now" Isabelle sighed. Watching Dru's eyes as the tears began to glisten in them. Drusilla's body flew into her mother's arms. And Isabelle enfolded her hands around her. Keeping her safe. "Don't leave me mum. Don't you dare go" She cried. ~ His passion was increased at least ten folds after tonight. Wonderful tonight! It'd had been perfect. He couldn't have dreamed of anything more amazing than her lips against his own. There was a quickening sadness to remember she was no longer with him. That he had dropped her off at home. But he'd see her again. Soon. He knew without a doubt in his devious mind, that for the remainder of these following weeks, she'd be in his thoughts, every moment, of every hour, of every day. Not that it mattered. He knew she'd be thinking the same. Which was exactly why he must wait! To ruin such a beautiful flower too soon before it's bloom was a crime. And he refused to rush his love. -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: discuss: Ack, help, please? Date: 25 May 1998 17:28:41 EDT Working on a fic and need to know if Pike was given a last name...anybody who knows, help, please! Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 24) Date: 25 May 1998 15:37:53 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 24) The carriage rocked softly, back and forth on the stony road, Drusilla's was intently focused out the window staring at the dark night, as though searching for the brightest star. Her mother was coming to church with them. Drusilla had argued. God would want her to save her strength and to heal, not be out so late in the evening. But Isabelle would have none. She was just as stubborn as ever. Her heart felt like it might break. She'd waited all day, just so she might pray, pray that her mother get better again. And prey for Angelus and herself. Together. These thoughts were keeping her quiet, were making her wish that things could go back to normal with papa, and mother. But nothing ever is prefect. She needed to adapt to survive. But now, she didn't have to survive alone. Drusilla longed to tell Isabelle of Angelus. About their meetings. About their confessions to one another. But she couldn't risk exciting her mother, not when she was in this delicate of a condition. * Drusilla quickly excused herself from the family as they went to take their seats. She found herself striding quickly to the confession booths. Sensing her mothers gaze as she entered the small room. It was dark, and stuffed up. She could hear the preacher's breathing on the other side of the booth. Drusilla knelt and made the sign of the cross with her right hand, forehead, to chest, left shoulder to right. "Bless me, Father, for I confess to Almighty God, and to you, Father, that I have sinned" She took a deep breath, she knew this routine by heart, but was now suddenly scared, as she felt the priests ears listening to her every word, waiting for her to continue "It's been a week since my last confession.. And... I have had impure thoughts of a gentleman." Drusilla felt her gaze go downwards, it was more shameful now that she'd said the words out loud. "And did you entertain these thoughts child?" "I.. um..." Drusilla thought. It wasn't she that kissed him. and she pushed him away from her the instant she felt his lips... But she had lusted after him, she had wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her again. "Yes father." She listened to the brief silence wondering what the priest thought of her? Having impure thoughts, right after her fathers untimely murder. "For your sin of having impure thoughts, your penance is 15 hail Mary's." Drusilla slowly stood up on her feet. "Thank you father" She saw his silhouette nod, as she exited the room. Her mothers gaze was still apon her as she walked to a nearby pew. Not wanting to see her mother, to gaze at her dying body, she knelt down and began to whisper almost mumble, the prayer. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women..." She could still see his face when she closed her eyes. Angelus. His name rolled off her tongue when she said it. It sung in her mind when she thought it. "... And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." She cursed herself for thinking such things in the place of god... But she didn't stop. How could she? ~ Leave it to his princess to never miss church. His perfect Christian child. She looked worn out tonight. Incredibly fatigued. And as much as he'd like to think it was himself that had caused her lack of relaxation, one look at her mother told him it was not so. The vision presented to him of the gorgeous Isabelle caught him by surprise. He could feel the weakness emanating her, as Drusilla helped her up the steps. Mother in one hand, sister in the other. Such a giver. Her mother would have be the next then, he sighed walking out of the church gardens. After all there was no point in letting her die peacefully, when her death could help his plan greatly... -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: JMHnoodles Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Librarian's Discovery (1/1) Date: 25 May 1998 17:54:18 EDT In a message dated 98-05-25 07:57:33 EDT, KylenRevik writes: << ::laughing so hard she's nearly falling out of her chair:: Brava! ::claps:: ::takes a breath:: >> ROTFLMAO...I _have_ to agree. :::bounces in her seat happily, clapping::: This is wonderful...and very, *very* true. No, I don't think you were overstepping your bounds at all, by the way. In case any of you missed the message in the fanfic: if you know you have problems with spelling and/or grammar, get a beta reader! There are plenty of people who will volunteer to do this! I know I'm not alone when I say that I've had to abandon reading many a promising piece of fanfiction because the spelling or grammar was impossible to get through. Congrats on a great fic, though. :-) Jen PS- If you find grammar/spelling errors in my fics, and I know there are PLENTY, please yell at me about them! I encourage all flames. =) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part one by Ingrid and co. Date: 25 May 1998 22:49:26 -0400 DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine. Don't sue. SUMMARY: This may require a bit of explaining... OK. This is a french project that my friends and I did for our end of the year script writing. It's meant as a satire of The WB's "New Tuesday," and I thought the french speakers on the list might enjoy it (Please forgive our *terrible* french, and I mean that! We wrote this while snacking on KFC take-out, listening to Paula Cole, and otherwise goofing off and avoiding work.) Have fun! BTW, I don't think there's anything against sending stuff in other languages to the list, but if there is, please let me know (gently!) Nouveau Mardi (part one) Scene 1: The "WB grenouille danse en stage en face d’une affice de "Nouveau Mardi." Il chante. GRENOUILLE Le double, double, double, double, double, double, WB! Buffy et Cordelia sont seules encore et elles veulent trouver un homme Mais Dawson ne peut rien se souvenir! Ce Nouveau Mardi va etre "le bomb!" Mais d’abord, un petit spot publicitaire: SPOT PUBLICITAIRE (Le frog chante) GRENOUILLE C’est l’heure! C’est l’heure du Buffy! ANNOUNCER Ce soir, sur une "Buffy" extraordinaire, Buffy et Cordelia parlent au discotheque, le "Bronze." Ils n'ont pas des escorts, mais il est un homme mysterieux. Laquelle vont gagner le coeur de cet homme? Scene 2: Buffy et Cordelia restent au discotheque. Elles regardent tout le monde. Elles sont enneyeuses. BUFFY Je suis deconcertee. Je suis tres jolie, mais je n'ai pas un copain! CORDELIA Moi aussi, je suis desorientee! Nous restons ici, et personne ne nous demande un rendez-vous! BUFFY Peut-etre nous devons faire comprendre a quelqu'un que nous sommes libres? CORDELIA Tiens! La, il y a un homme mysteriuex! BUFFY Ooh. Je suis sur qu'il va tomber amoureux de moi! CORDELIA Exscuses-moi? Il est le mien, je crois. BUFFY Ecoutes. Je ne veux pas etre en mauvaise termes avec toi. Nous ne devons pas disputer. Simplement il peut choisir. La meilleure femme gagnera. CORDELIA D'accord. VAMPIRE GARCON Bonjours, mes cheries. Vous etes tres jolies. BUFFY Oh, nous savons. CORDELIA Ou habitez-vous? Je n'ai jamais vous vu. VAMPIRE GARCON Euh...Je n'habite pas pres d'ici. BUFFY Quel beau pelerine! VAMPIRE GARCON Tu trouves? CORDELIA Oui, oui! C'est le meilleur pelerine que j'ai deja vu! VAMPIRE GARCON Vraiment? BUFFY Oui, je le veux. J'espere que je peux trouver un pelerine comme ca un jour! C'est du bon qualite! C'est- VAMPIRE GARCON D'accord, d'accord. Merci! CORDELIA Euh...Est-ce que vous voulez prendre un pot? VAMPIRE GARCON Oui, je l'aimerais beaucoup. BUFFY Incredulousment D'accord. J'ai quelque chose de prevu. Marche loin, et tourne. Oh! j'ai presque oublie! J'ai tes affiches de Leonardo DiCaprio. Sort. CORDELIA Ce sont ses affices, vraiment. Elle est un peu folle, tu sais. VAMPIRE GARCON N'inquietez pas! Voulez-vous aller dans ma voiture avec moi? CORDELIA D'accord! BUFFY Du derriere L'imbecile! Je vais les suivre. *** FIN, partie 1. Feedback is ok, but no commenting on my lousy french!! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part 2, by Ingrid and co. Date: 25 May 1998 22:49:54 -0400 Scene 3: exterieur. Cordelia et "vampire garcon" marchent. CORDELIA Euh...Ou est ta voiture? VAMPIRE GARCON Tant pis, ma cherie, mais je suis un vampire! CORDELIA Elle crie, et elle essaye de courir, mais il ne va pas la laisser. BUFFY Elle parait. Arretes maintenent! Je vais te tuer! VAMPIRE GARCON Je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai! BUFFY Tue le vampire. CORDELIA Merci, Buffy. Je regrette que j'ai vole l'homme mysterieux. BUFFY C'est d'accord. Je sais que s'il etait un vrai homme, et pas un vampire, il m'aurait choisi. Scene 4: Le GRENOUILLE chante encore: GRENOUILLE C’est l’heure de Dawson…en moment, mais maintenent, une autre spot publicitaire! SPOT PUBLICITAIRE 2 Scene 5: Chez Dawson Leery. Joey et Dawson restent au lit. DAWSON Allumes la tele. Je veux regarder la nouveau emission qui s'appelle "La vie de Donald!" Je veux que Donald realise que la fille Juliet l'aime beaucoup. JOEY Ce n'est pas une emission. C'est un feuilleton. Pffft. C'est trop romantique. Ce n'es pas vrai. DAWSON Ca signifie les rapports des gens, le coup de foudre! C'est vrai! Ca se passe tous les temps! Je ne peux pas imaginer comment on se sent si on aime quelqu'un qui n'a pas une idee! JOEY Ironically. Oh non. Je ne peux pas l'imaginer. Roll Credits; Cue le chanson de Paula Cole. Opening credits include shots of the cast of "Dawson's Creek" Scene 6: Dawson and Pacey jouent du basket au parc. DAWSON Pacey, tu ne peux pas jouer. PACEY Tu es en colere parce que j'ai bisse Joey. DAWSON Non. Je ne suis pas fache PACEY Tu l'aimes. C'est vrai, et tu le sais! DAWSON J'en ai assez, Pacey!! PACEY Tais-toi! DAWSON Non! PACEY Jette un basket au Dawson Dawson tombe. Pacey court. Jen arrive, et elle voit Dawson. Elle crie JEN Mon Dieu! Dawson! Ou est l'hopital? Scene 7: A l'hopital, ou Dawson reste au lit. Joey arrive. JOEY Salut Dawson. Comment est-ce que tu te sens? DAWSON Et tu serais...? JOEY Tu ne me souviens? DAWSON Non. Je ne me souviens rien! JOEY Je suis ta meilleure amie! DAWSON Qu'est-ce que tu as dis? JOEY Uh...Je suis ta fiance! Nous avons disputer, et j'ai trouve que tu es blesse! JEN Entre. Ce n'est pas vrai. C'est moi qui tu aimes! DAWSON T'es toque, non? Je ne me souviens pas! JEN Il est le mien! JOEY Non! Il est le mien. Elles se battent. JOEY prend une plateau, et elle frappe Jen, mais elles tombent, et elles frappent Dawson. Il se reveille. DAWSON Je me souviens! Elles continuent a battent. DAWSON Plus forte. Je me souviens tout! JEN Ca ne nous concerne pas! JOEY Tais-toi! Fade out. FIN. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 4/?) Date: 25 May 1998 22:56:43 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments or requests for previous parts to conor@dnaco.net They headed down the stairs, and, as Buffy sat down, Rick went into the kitchen. =93Want something?=94 he asked, =93This is not a short story. I=92ve got Diet Pepsi, tea, bottled water...=94 =93Um, water=92s good,=94 she replied, looking around the =93TV=94 room. Like the bedroom, it looked pretty much unlived in. She was starting to wonder if Rick had any kind of life at all. He brought her a bottle of Evian, opened a bottle of Diet Pepsi for himself and sat down. He took a deep breath. =93I found out what I was born to do on my eighth birthday.=94 he began =93My father took me out patrolling, and I got to watch him kill a relatively puny demon. It scared me shitless. Afterward, we had a long talk about duty and destiny and all that, and then he gave me my birthday present -- that sword on the wall over there.=94=20 Buffy glanced to where he was pointing, and saw a short sword, really little more than a toy. With a chuckle, Rick said, =93Yeah, I know. It=92s not much, but trust me, it=92s real enough to do the job if it had to. Anyway, after that, my life was very different. I practiced with my father every day. I think it was more for him than for me. Our family gift gives us pretty much instant mastery of any sword, but I=92ve found that each year, I lose a little of my edge.=94 He gestured at his injured arm. =93Hell, I missed a block against a freaking knife last night. Five years ago, I=92d have cut those guys to bits and never got touched. But I digress.=94 =93My father died when I was fifteen. It wasn=92t even demon related. He died in a car accident. Suddenly, I was the one -- the guy who stood in the door so the demons couldn=92t get in. I thought it was going to suck, but I live in Ohio.=94 He chuckled. =93At the worst, I don=92t have to fight more than eight or nine times a year. I can=92t imagine what it must have been like for you, living on the Hellmouth. So, it was really more like a hobby for me. I went on as if I was like everyone else, and now and then, I went somewhere and kicked some demon=92s ass.=94 He took a long drink, and sat thinking for a while before continuing. =93I met Trina when I was twenty. We hit it off really well, and after one thing led to another... she got pregnant. So, we got married. Ricky was born, and two years after that, my daughter, Rhiannon. Life was good for us then. I got my trust- fund and built this house for all of us. The kids grew up strong=20 and beautiful, and every once in a while, I went to Toledo or Akron or some little one traffic light town, and whacked a demon or two.=94 =93When Ricky was eight, I had kill a pack of thirteen demons right here in Dayton. They were more than I could handle. I knew that. Still, I had to try. There wasn=92t anybody else. I tracked them down, and killed seven of them, but the rest ran off. I was pretty chewed up, so I came home to recover before I finished them off.=94 =93They attacked me here, two nights after I hit them. They came in from all over the place, through the windows and doors. One came right through that wall over there. It was total chaos, with demons roaring, and the kids screaming, and me trying to fight my way to a clear place while protecting my family. I killed two in the initial attack. It was all action and no thought... I didn=92t have time to think., I just cut, thrust, dodged, cut and moved on. I=92m sure you know the feeling.=94=20 Buffy nodded, and Rick went on, =93Somehow, I got everybody together, and kept the demons off of them. I fell back to the kitchen. It has the least ways in, so it was the best place to make a stand. I was doing pretty well at it, too. I killed two as they came at us from this room, and was holding the others off. I figured if my strength held out, I could pick them off one at a time.=94 =93The kids had pretty much gone into shock, just sitting against the cabinet and staring. Trina had gone silent too, backed as far away from the fighting as she could get. She knew what I did, but she=92d never seen it. It was a lot for a first exposure.=94 He lapsed into thought again, staring at the kitchen like he could see it happening again. Finally he shook himself and took another swig of soda. =93Anyway, she=92d backed up against the sink, right next to that little window. I was fighting two demons at once. They were trying to get at the kids, and it was all I could do to keep them both back. That was when another one smashed through that little window and yanked my wife out through it.=94 =93Everything=92s a little disjointed after that,=94 he said, frowning as if even now he was trying to get it all straight in his head, =93I think I killed the two I was fighting with one cut. I could hear Trina screaming outside. I shoved the kids into the cabinet; they didn=92t even blink as I shut the door. Then I dove out the window. I was thinner then; now I=92d have to go around.=94 =93Gotta give her credit, Trina was keeping the beast from killing her outright. She was really tore up by the time I got to her, though. I hit that demon _so_ hard. I thought I was too late, there was so much blood, but she moaned, and I knew she was still alive. Somehow, I got her back into the house and dialed 911. I did what I could to stop the bleeding, but I was so sure she was gonna die. By the time anyone got here, the demons had completely dissolved. They took us all to the hospital, but I wouldn=92t stay even though I was really wrecked. I was pretty sure one demon had run off, and I wasn=92t gonna let it spend one more night on Earth.=94 =93The police, after finding no real evidence to support any kind of conclusion, had to take my word that it was wolves. There haven=92t been any wolves in Ohio in years, but with my wife mauled, and me looking none to good myself, they didn=92t have many choices. I was front page news -- =91Man Holds Off Wolfpack With Sword.=92 People will believe anything rather than even think that demons are real.=94 =93The kids came home after a couple of days. They couldn=92t remember anything about what had happened, but they were changed -- real quiet, and careful around shadows. Trina didn=92t get out of the hospital for a while. She was lucky, though. All she got were some really interesting scars. There was no permanent damage. Well, no permanent _physical_ damage.=94 =93They left the day after she got out.=94 Buffy shook herself out of the shocked silence she=92d lapsed into and said, =93She left you. That must have hurt.=94 It sounded lame to her, but she had no idea what to say after a story like that. What scared her most was that she had stories almost as bad, with friends and loved ones hurt, *Or worse than hurt, *she thought miserably. =93No,=94 Rick replied, =93I sent them away. I couldn=92t protect them, and they couldn=92t protect themselves. The normalcy of my life up to that point had been a complete lie. I couldn=92t have a normal life, because normal people were in danger just being around me.=94 =93I made some changes, after that. I stopped hanging out with my friends, and put up a wall between me and anyone I cared about. It was the only way. I can=92t _not_ be what I am, so I have to be alone. =91Cause what I am is dangerous.=94 He lapsed into silence, and Buffy couldn=92t think of anything of comfort to say to him. She agreed with him. That was why she=92d left Sunnydale. She opened her mouth to tell him she understood, and found herself telling him everything that had happened to, and because of, her in the last two years. She let him have every bit of rage and grief that she=92d held back from her friends because she knew he could understand in a way they couldn=92t. By the time she got to those last few days in Sunnydale, they were both crying like babies. =93So I understand totally why you would send them away,=94 she finished with a sniffle. =93Different situations,=94 he replied, to her dismay, =93My family couldn=92t do anything against the demons. Hell, my kids were too small to even deal. I didn=92t have a choice but to get them away from me. Your friends all sound pretty capable. They=92ve not only protected themselves, but they=92ve pulled your ass out of the fire a couple of times. They had the choice to help you, and they did. They were mature enough to make that choice. It kind of looks to me like you didn=92t have faith in them. I could be wrong, it wouldn=92t be the first time.=94 Buffy took each word like a physical blow. She should have expected him to be like this, so far he hadn=92t seen her side of anything. Still, it hurt. =93I=92m sorry I have to be the one to say this stuff,=94 he said, =93But it=92s just not the same. I know you think you=92re doing what=92s best for them, but you didn=92t ask _them_ what they thought.=94 Buffy could feel the tears beginning to build, again, and tried to keep them back. If she was so tough, why couldn=92t she go one day without having a crying fit? Rick saw her tearing up, and tried to soften the blow. =93You=92re a good kid, Buffy. You=92re brave, and you really care about your friends. But in the final tally, you can=92t keep them from a danger by leaving them. They live on the Hellmouth. That=92s not going away any time soon. They=92re in danger every day of their lives, and you have got to get used to that. If you don=92t want to be the Slayer anymore, that=92s fine. I don=92t bl= ame you, if I were sixteen, and had your life, I=92d probably want to run awa= y too.=94 =93Seventeen,=94 Buffy muttered. =93Hunh?=94=20 =93I=92m seventeen,=94 she said, =93Have been for a while now.=94 =93Hm.=94 he chuckled wryly, =93I don=92t know where I got that you were sixteen. My apologies, but as I was saying, you don=92t want to be the Slayer, fine, don=92t be. Someone else=92ll end up at the Hellmouth. But don=92t blame the fact that you=92re quitting on your friends. I was with you on your whole =91I don=92t want to do this anymore=92 speech, but the =91I can=92t protect my friends=92 thing doesn=92t fly. They don=92t need your protection.=94 He stood up. =93Geez, we=92ve been chattering for five hours.=94 he said, =93I=92m hungry... you?=94 =93I could eat,=94 she said, =93I skipped breakfast to wait for you.=94 =93Christ! You should have said something. I get caught up in stuff and forget to eat all the damn time, though you=92d never tell it from looking at me.=94 =93No prob,=94 she said with a smile, =93I can miss a meal now and then and not die from it.=94 The rest of the evening was pretty normal. Rick made pasta, and they both ate like they=92d missed more than one meal. They talked about normal stuff -- the house, Dayton, what current movies sucked and why. They stayed away from any dangerous topic -- her life, his life, fighting evil in general. After a while, the conversation just kind of died. They sat on his back porch, and listened to the night=92s music, each lost in thought. *Quiet=92s okay,* she thought, *I could get used to just being quiet.* Rick went to bed at around 11:00, after checking his email. Buffy stayed up a while longer. She was still all cut up inside, but she felt like she could heal, here with the quiet. Rick reminded her a little of Merrick. He was all business, and his level of humor was really, really low. He had that same kind of stability, the kind that came from being alone so long you didn=92t have any choice but to be stable. Where Merrick would have tried to find a polite way to say something, however, Rick went right for the bone. That was probably just the difference between Watchers and doers. Thinking of Merrick made her think of Giles. She wondered how he was handling her absence. *Probably not,* she thought. She knew she was letting him down. She didn=92t figure Merrick would be to understanding either, for that matter. It hurt to think she was disappointing Giles, but she just couldn=92t do it anymore. Killing Angel had taken all she had left. Giles would get over it, she figured. *Yeah,* she thought, *In about 100 years.* She thought again about calling Willow, but couldn=92t bring herself to -- not yet. Will would want her to come back. She=92d have great reasons that Buffy should come back. And she=92d be hurt all over again when Buffy said no. Sooner or later, that conversation was going to have to happen. But not tonight. Tonight she was just going to soak up a little peace. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jessica M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: An Invitation to Dinner (1/1) Date: 25 May 1998 20:35:53 -0700 (PDT) Title: An Invitation to Dinner. Author: Sati Rose E-mail: shayba@yahoo.com Distribution: my own sites, anyone else, please ask. Feedback: of course! That's why I'm sending it here. Content: some kissing, that's about it. Oz/Willow. Spoilers: Up to Phases Summary: The Rossenbergs invite Oz to dinner. Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss, I own nothing. An Invitation to Dinner. Willow came barreling down the stairs with one shoe one, her white blouse un-tucked from her blue skirt and her backpack barely on her back. She was going to be late for school, something totally alien to her. The reason for her being late: a dream filled with Oz, slow music, and smooches, a reason that would not go kindly with Principle Snyder. No sir! "I'm leaving Mom!" Willow called out as she began hoping around the foyer, trying to get her other shoe on. "Bye honey. Have a nice day at school. You'll be coming home for dinner, right?" her mother asked as she came out of the kitchen and into the foyer. She took one look at her disheveled daughter who was about to fall flat on her face and sighed. She reached out towards Willow, making sure she wouldn't fall. Willow grabbed her mothers arm and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be home." She smiled triumphantly as she finally got the stubborn shoe on. "Great!" her mother exclaimed. "Then why don't you invite that nice boy over. Oz, right?" Her mother smiled slyly as she turned to walk back into the kitchen. "Sure mom, whatever." Willow opened the door and was about ready to walk out when the question hit her. "Wait! What?!" Willow shrieked as she turned back, looking at her mother. Mrs. Rosenberg smiled and turned back towards Willow. "You heard me dear. Your farther and I only got to meet him once, that time he took you to the movies. And dear, he's the first boy you went out with, well, besides Xander, so naturally your farther and I want to get to know him." Mrs. Rossenberg smiled sweetly at her daughter. "Yeah, but…well…I…. uh…he…" Willow stammered, trying to think of a plausible excuse to give to postpone the event of dinner, with Oz, and her parents. "No buts. Have him come over around 7 o'clock tonight. Now run along, you're going to be late!" Mrs. Rossenberg literally pushed Willow out the door. Willow stared at the door for a few seconds then turned and started her walk to school. *** "Ok, I'll just ask him. How hard could it be? 'Oz, would you like to have dinner with me and my parents? That'll include an inquisition of course…'" Willow sighed and looked around the quad, half-hopping to see Oz, and half-hopping he wouldn't be there. Sure enough, there he was, under their favorite tree playing his guitar. Willow stood there, enjoying the site of Oz. He looked so cute. He was studying a piece of music, trying to get the right rhythm in his head. His hand ran through his hair, with was currently brown, as he was trying to figure out how to play a chord. Suddenly, he looked up and spotted her. His face lit up with a big smile and he waved her over. Willow walked over, a smile of her own playing on her face. "Hey, how's it going?" She asked as she sat down next to him. "Better, now that you're here." Oz smiled and leaned over, gently placing a kiss on her lips. "Well, I'm glad I could make things better for you, kind sir." She laughed softly as she placed her head on his shoulder. "You always make things better," Oz replied and he slipped his arm around her. "So, what are we doing tonight? The Bronze?" Willow stiffened slightly. "Well, actually, my parents were wondering…if…you'll come…over for dinner tonight." Willow quickly spoke the last words, wanting to get it over with. Oz looked down at her, trying to see her face, witch he couldn't since she had swiftly averted it. He shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not? I mean, we might as well get it over with. Unless, of course, you don't want me to come." "Oh no! I want you to come. It's just…well…my parents can be somewhat questioning. I mean, when I first brought Buffy over, my mom literally had her whole life history in less then an hour! Well, except for the whole Slayer thing…but well…she can be very nosy." Willow sat up, looking at Oz. "Well, if Buffy can keep the Slayer thing a secrete from your mom, I think I can keep somethings a secrete too. Especially the whole werewolf thing." He smiled jokingly, hopping to reassure her, and himself. Willow smiled brightly then leaned back against him, taking a hold of one of his hands. "I'm sure everything will be fine." She said with more confidence then she felt. "It will be. You'll see." Oz kissed the top of her head and pulled her in closer. "Uh, Oz?" "Yeah?" "You mind taking off the nail polish?" *** At precisely 7 o'clock that night Oz pulled up to the Rossenberg home in his zebra striped van. He had considered asking his mom for the use of her station wagon, but he figured that would be kinda lying. After all, his van was sort of a symbol for his personality, and if Mr. and Mrs. Rossenberg didn't like it…well, then he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He got out of his van, carrying a bouquet of flowers to present to Willows mother. He did a quick check of himself, making sure his shoe laces where tied and he shirt was tucked in. After taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell. After a few seconds the door opened to revel a tall, red-haired, middle-aged man. The man looked like he just got disturbed and he didn't like it. Oz put on his brightest smile. "Hello Mr. Rossenberg, how are you this evening?" "Hmph," was all Mr. Rossenberg replied. He let Oz in then walked into the den to go back and do whatever he was doing before he was interrupted. "Good start so far, Oz man," Oz muttered to himself. Right then Mrs. Rossenberg came in and smiled at Oz. "Hello Oz, how are you this evening?" "Fine ma'am. Here, these are for you." He handed her the bouquet then did a quick search around the room for Willow. "Why, how lovely! Daises are my favorite. Thank you Oz." She took the bouquet and buried her nose in them, like she could smell a fragrance no one else can. "You're welcome." He replied as his eyes searched for Willow. He did not want to go through this alone. He heard a noise from up above and turned. Willow came down the stairs, a smile on her face. "Hi Oz," she said as she reached him. "Sorry I couldn't answer the door when you got her, I wan on the phone with Buffy." "That's ok, your dad answered. He looked sort of busy, though." "Oh, Mike is always like that when he gets a new toy. His daughter is like that too, whenever she gets a new computer program." Mrs. Rossenberg replied. "Well, dinners ready. You two go set down, and I'll go pull Mike away from his new telescope." Mrs. Rossenberg brushed passed Oz as she went to go collect her husband. Oz took Willow's hand and walked towards the dinning room. "So far, so good." *** The four of them sat, quietly eating their dinner. The grandfather clock could be heard as the four occupants of the meal sat contemplating why they where there. Finally, to break the silence, Mrs. Rossenberg turned to Oz. "So Oz, Willow tells us you are in a band. What do you play?" "I play the guitar ma'am." Oz replied as he placed his glass of water on the table. "Oh? How long have you been playing?" Mr. Rossenberg asked, showing the first sign of interest in anything besides his new telescope. "For about five years now. My uncle was the first one to teach me all the chords and stuff. Actually, my uncle was the first one to teach me the value of music." "That's great," Mr. Rossenberg nodded. "Music can be very good in life. It teaches people to concentrate and to follow through on things. When I was younger, I used to play the guitar, and the piano, the clarinet, the saxophone…well, let's just say music was a big part of my life growing up." "Really? I always wanted to learn another instrument but I never got around to it. Do you still play?" Mr. Rossenberg nodded. "I thought Willow here how to play the piano. Maybe tonight we can get her to play for us." He winked at Oz. "Dad, no way! You promised!" Willow shook her head, a blush creeping up her neck. "Don't worry Willow, you don't have to if you don't want to." Mrs. Rossenberg assured her daughter. Oz grinned and took another drink of water. "Ok, but one of these days I'm going to get you to play for someone besides me and your parents." Mr. Rossenberg looked sternly at his daughter, then smiled. "So Oz, what kind of music do you listen to?" The conversation then turned to various musicians, and the different kinds of music. As Mrs. Rossenberg and Willow were clearing the table, Oz and Mr. Rossenberg were discussing the different qualities of electric and acoustic guitars. "He's very nice dear," Mrs. Rossenberg commented as she placed the plates in the dishwasher. "You like him mom?" Willow asked, leaning up against the sink. "Oh yes, he's very charming. The daisies were a nice touch. And I think your farther like's him too." They both turned as they heard laughter from the dinning room then grinned at each other. "By the way, was that nail polish I saw on his hands?" The end. Well? Bad? Good? Feedback, please. _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Jennifer M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions Part 5/12 Date: 26 May 1998 09:35:17 PDT TITLE: Best Intentions AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary? RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1? But, definitely not Becoming 2! THANKYOUS: Thanks Leslie S.! FEEDBACK: Please! Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al. The idea is mine, though! ~~~ Best Intentions Part 5 ~~~ Nurse Collins had come and gone again from Buffy's room, where she remained tied to the bed. The woman would not tell her what time it was, if it was night or day, if she was ever going to leave this horrible place. All she could think of was how her mother had betrayed her. 'I was going to tell her everything! I was. I just needed help explaining it all!' Her mind told her desperately. 'Sure you were. You were going to try and find some way out of this mess… you weren't going to tell her the truth! At least be honest with yourself!' Another part of her said harshly. 'No! I was going to tell her! OK, maybe not everything… but, I was going to tell her. I just want to protect her. Why can't she understand that?' She thought desperately. 'She will understand. Giles will make her understand. He has to. Calm down… Before they come back, and see you all worked up again!' "Now, I know why people go crazy! They start talking to themselves… I have to get out of this place!" She lay on the bed, defeated, trying to figure out if it was still day, or if night had fallen on Sunnydale. ~~ Xander stopped Willow by the circulation desk. "Hey Will, what do you think is going on? I'm totally wigging." Xander looked anxious. Willow had not seen him look this upset in a long time. "I don't know Xander. I really don't know. I mean, obviously Buffy's in some kind of trouble…" "Gee, aren't you just the Master of the Obvious, Will." She gave him a hurt look. He opened his mouth to apologize, but, stopped when he heard Giles call them. "Are you two coming back?" Giles called from the office. The two looked at each other, not knowing what they were heading into, or what to expect. Joyce looked as if she had calmed down quite a bit. Xander gave her a mug with a tea-bag string hanging out. She smiled weakly at him. He gave another one to Giles. He then moved to join Willow on the top of Giles' desk. "OK you three obviously know something about what's going on with Buffy, but, I really don't think you understand the level it has escalated to. She, well, I think she may be delusional. I think she is living in a fantasy world and has not realized yet how to pull herself out of it. Maybe she doesn't know the difference between reality and the made up world she has created." She pulled Buffy's diary from her purse. "Last night, when I realized she had snuck out, again, I looked through her room and found this." Giles, Xander and Willow all knew immediately what it was in the woman's hands, and knew what she had discovered. They exchanged worried looks. "I have told Buffy not to write about her life in that diary. That anyone could open the bloody book, take from it what they will. She should have learned that lesson from Ted," Giles practically spat. He was angry, but couldn't blame the girl. "I guess she needed a way to sort out her feelings," he said quietly. "Mr. Giles, what are you saying?" Joyce was clearly surprised at the mention of her ex. "The things that you read in her diary, those thoughts are completely true. She-she has made up nothing. There is no way you could possibly understand, relate to, or even agree with what your daughter has done and still needs to do. She could not tell you what was going on with her. She wanted to. Many times she came to me and begged me to let her tell you. But, I-I, uh, I told her that she could not." Giles stopped, and looked at Joyce, trying to figure out what she was thinking. He ran his hands through his hair. "Are you trying to tell me that you believe her when she says she is a-a-a Vampire Slayer? You don't think this is delusional behavior? And you're a teacher?" Joyce almost yelled. She jumped up from the cot, and began to pace the small room. "And you two, you are here, agreeing with him?" Xander and Willow joined Giles in nodding their heads yes, then looked down at their hands. "Mrs. Summers, you don't understand. There are forces of evil in Sunnydale. Forces so incomprehensible that most people, even when they come into contact with these forces, ignore them. O-or, simply forget them. Buffy is the Chosen One. She alone has been chosen to fight the demons that rule the night. Sunnydale is, uh, what is called the Hell Mouth. Vampires and other forces of evil are naturally drawn here…" Giles stopped again, unsure if he was getting through to the woman. Joyce's mouth dropped open, her eyes staring at Giles in shock. How could he be siding with her delusional daughter? ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions (1/10) by Andrea Date: 26 May 1998 09:23:53 PDT Title: Repercussions Author: Andrea e-mail: anewbery@hotmail.com Spoilers: Becoming part 2 and everything before it. Summary: My, admittedly, pitiful attempt to deal with the events of B2. Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB.... Please don't sue. Feedback: Please, Please, Please! Good, Bad, whatever! Sunnydale High School Library August 18, 1998 " I heard from her. " Shattering the silence with her words. No one spoke. No one dared disturb the hush that had fallen over the library three months ago. Willow stood in front of them; Xander, Cordelia and Giles. Oz stood behind her, supporting her. They all just stared, waiting for Willow to continue. When she didn't Giles finally spoke. "Where is she? Is she coming back?" His voice was panicked yet hopeful. It had more emotion than anything he had said since she left. Giles hadn't fared well since Buffy had disappeared. Maybe he felt the guilt over their failure more than the rest of them. They hadn't realized how high the price she paid was. Not until it became too high for her to pay. Willow continued staring at them, unable to voice the words. Not understanding how she could tell them that it was worse than they had feared. "It was postmarked from LA. A week ago." Oz grabbed her shoulders, rubbing them, silently giving her strength. She didn't want to tell them the rest. She wanted to find Buffy and take her away, to hide until Buffy was Buffy again. "Postmarked?" Xander questioned her, "She didn't tell you where she was?" Willow stood there, wanting to let them have these last moments of hope. Even the worst times, when they had toyed with the idea that Buffy had run away with Angel and hadn't cared enough to tell them. Even Xander would have to admit that would have been better. Let them have one more moment that they could believe she was healing somewhere and would return stronger than before. It would be gone soon. When she told them. When she spoke. "It only had one line. It just repeated over and over. Pages of it." "What?" A chorus of voices, all surprised, questioning. "I sent him to hell, that's all she wrote, I sent him to hell." "Angel." Xander's voice still oozed hatred. Willow turned to him, her voice clear and sure, " Get over it Xander. Angel's gone. It took Buffy losing everything to do it. Including her mind. Do you still hate him that much that you think it was worth the price? "" She stopped, looked to Giles and slowly spoke, " Do you understand the difference Giles, that Angel wasn't Angel?" "I know Willow. I always knew, even when I couldn't see it past the hate that clouded my heart. The Angel Buffy loved was as innocent as any of us. I should have told her I understood. She was so alone." Giles collapsed into a chair and his eyes filled with tears. He continued, " I knew the guilt was getting to heavy. I wanted her to suffer though. For Jenny. And it wasn't her fault. It wasn't even Angel's fault. I should have known killing Angel, even the demon Angel was too much." "What if the curse worked?" Cordelia joined the conversation for the first time. Willow turned to her, shocked, " She never would have killed him then. Never." "She didn't kill him." Giles spoke, sitting straighter in his chair, "She sent him to hell. Oh, poor Buffy." "Huh? Difference being?" Xander 's voice was still rimmed in hate. "I should have thought of this, Buffy. I pray he wasn't restored. But it would explain her ...um...well...breakdown." Giles stood and wandered aimlessly around the library. "Okay, not understanding. More?" "The demon, Angel's blood to awaken the demon, Angel's blood to close the vortex. Willow, if the spell worked after Angel removed the sword..." Giles trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought. Willow finished it for him, "Then she would have to sacrifice Angel to save the world." They all stood there for an eternity as the enormity of Buffy's loss registered. Giles spoke quietly, "I thought she may have been recovering from killing him or even that she ran away with him but I never even imagined that ..." "She did both." Willow was sure of this, it was the only thing that made sense. "I failed. I wasn't quick enough. I gave her Angel only to make her kill him." Giles grabbed Willow and staring into her face he said, "No. Never Willow. You tried to save her from killing him. You tried to give her back her love. Once the sword was pulled there was only one choice for her. She had to save the world, no matter the cost to herself. And she did it." Willow started to cry, "But Giles, if I had been quicker he wouldn't have pulled the sword." "And if I hadn't been tricked Angel wouldn't have known how to wake the demon." Giles dropped his head, "I failed her." "Giles, you were being tortured, hypnotized. " Willow smiled sadly at him, "In no way was this your fault. Giles, Xander told her I was trying. She probably tried so hard to stall him. Trying to give me time. If anyone failed her, failed Angel, it was me. She knew he was coming back and as soon as he pulled the sword she knew it was too late." "She didn't." Xander spoke quietly. "She didn't what?" Giles questioned him. "She didn't know. I didn't tell her. I told her Willow said to kick his ass." They all were quiet for a moment as the meaning of Xander's words sunk in. Willow spoke first. "What? How could you? " "He was a demon. He deserved to die." Xander's tone was sharp. He didn't regret what he had done...yet. "And Buffy deserved to have to kill him? Xander you selfish bastard. You stole her choice. " Willow's face was red and her eyes were filled with malice, "You sentenced her to kill him. To kill the man she loves. How could you? She would have tried to stall him, instead of attacking straight out. Damn you Xander. You coward. Why didn't you tell us this months ago. We could have realized sooner that she might be in real trouble. I will never forgive this Xander." Oz grabbed Willow and hung on to her, soothing her in soft tones, "It doesn't matter Willow. Xander doesn't matter now. We have to find Buffy. We have to help her now." Nodding Willow unfolded herself from Oz's arms. Walking over to stand in front of Xander she stared at him, disappointment warring with hatred in her eyes. "She'll never forgive you Xander. You will never have her. I'm sorry Cordelia, but he did it because he wants her for himself. Nothing more noble than that. He was jealous of Angel and the love Buffy had for him. He wasn't trying to help her, or do the right thing. He wanted Angel gone so his path to Buffy could be clear. Nothing more than that. You risked her life. All our lives to make sure that Angel died. ISN'T THAT RIGHT XANDER? " "No...I...Willow." Xander tripped over his words, broken in the face of Willow's rage. His devastation etched on his face. He realized now what he had lost. Willow ignored his words. She turned to Giles and spoke, "So. We go to LA and get Buffy." "Yes...um...right. Okay everyone go home and pack. I will make the travel arrangements. We'll meet at my house in an hour." "Not Xander." Willow spoke quietly. "We have to help Buffy deal with Angel's death, she doesn't need to deal with his betrayal also." With that she turned and left the library, Oz following her. They saw her collapse with grief outside the door. Oz held her while she cried. Then they left, Oz supporting her as she walked away. Xander and Cordelia sat quietly. Cordelia's hand running over Xanders. Giles spoke then, " Willow's right. You stay here. Not for Buffy, but for Willow. " Giles turned to leave the library. He hesitated at the door, then turned back; "I understand what you did Xander. I have felt the temptation to replace someone else's choice with what I believed to be right. It's a risky choice and usually never ends well. I forgive you it. Willow will also forgive you in time. Buffy may never. Do you understand that?" Giles turned and walked away, wishing he could help him. Hopefully Cordelia would stay with him. Buffy was more important now. He could only pray that Willow, Oz and himself would be enough. Xander crumpled after Giles left. His head fell to the desk and he sobbed. Cordelia stood behind him, leaning over him. Her arms held him as he cried. Willow stopped outside the school. She thought of Buffy's mother and how worried she was. They had finally convinced her that everything Buffy had told her was true. Which would be okay if Buffy were around but made it even worse now. Buffy's mother felt so guilty over failing her daughter. Willow decided not to give her any false hope. Once they found Buffy...then she would call her. Her mind made up she grabbed Oz's hand and they headed to her house. _______________ Feedback please. To: anewbery@hotmail.com ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "C H" Subject: BUFFYFIC: missing things... Date: 26 May 1998 15:27:41 EDT My computer did something wierd while I was away and I've gotten no buffyfic since last wednesday. if anyone who sent out fic scince then please re-send it to me i would be eternally greatful... ___________________ | | | C | | B | | H | |___________________| ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Oz Date: 26 May 1998 18:37:05 EDT This post sparked by "An Invitation To DInner", which on the whole, was a good concept. However, it made me think about a couple things...most prominantly, Oz's characterization. I know I've been having nightmares about Oz's speech patterns lately, given that he's in about four of the current fics I'm working on, and after reading this fic I realized I'm not the only one who has probs making Oz sound like, well, Oz. Not so much in thought and general ideas, as in the actual words he uses. When I write dialogue for Oz, usually what I do is write what I want him to _mean_, first. Then I go back and re-word it so it sounds more...Ozzish. Like, he tends to use very few words, as well as mixing up the order. Comes across as semi-stoned, out of it, as far as his actual words are...but when you look at it you realize wait, he's actually saying something intelligent. Yeah, realizing and having to work this way has made me totally self-conscious about writing Oz's dialogue, but I find it works better than just writing and hoping to get things right on the first go. So anyway, the question I wanted to ask was, how many other people think Oz is one of the hardest BtVS characters to write for? 'Cause I know he's darn close to having my vote. R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (2/10) by Andrea Date: 26 May 1998 12:05:55 PDT Disclaimers in part one. Feedback to anewbery@hotmail.com Sunnydale high school library August 18, 1998 Xander and Cordelia were still sitting quietly in the library. Not a word had passed between them for the six hours since the others had left. Xander was waiting for Cordelia to ask the question. To accuse him of wanting Buffy. She never asked. He fell in love with her over those hours. When he had lost everything and she stood beside him. He felt the need to explain to her why he had done it. As if he could. "Cordelia, I was afraid. I did it because I thought if I told her she would falter and we would all die. I lost faith in her, because of Angel. I hate him yes, but not enough to trick her into killing him." "I know. It's okay. We'll get through this." Smiling shyly she ran her hands through his hair. "But how? Willow hates me, Buffy will too. If she ever is sane again. God, Cordy, did I cause this? Was it the shock of getting Angel back that snapped her. If she had been prepared would it have helped?" "Xander, no. Don't do this. You can't know...ever. I think that whatever you did the pain of killing Angel, of giving up her last hope for him was too much for her. And to kill him when he had his soul. I can't imagine what that was like." "Kill him, she never said she killed him." Xander was quiet for a few minutes then spoke with growing excitement, 'She sent him to hell. Cordelia, she sent him to hell!" "So?" "So, if he didn't turn to dust then maybe we can get him back. If we can get him back then he can save her." Xander jumped up from his chair. "Research, we've got to do lots of research." "Can you even bring someone back from hell?" "I don't know. I never used to even believe in hell. But, I think just about everything is possible. I mean, vampires exist." "Good point. Let's get to work." They spent the night looking through book after book, finding nothing yet refusing to give up. This was Buffy's only hope. The guilt of killing Angel would destroy her. Only Angel could release her from it. Cordelia and Xander finally fell asleep on the floor in the library just as dawn was breaking. They slept exhausted as the day passed, waking just as the sun was setting. Xander got up quickly, cursing himself for wasting a whole day he started looking through Giles books again. Cordelia stared at him, her worry for him shining in her eyes. "Xander, shouldn't we take a break. You haven't eaten since yesterday. Or showered." "Cordy, I can't. You can go. I understand. But this may be Buffy's only hope. She won't be able to forgive herself knowing he's in hell. Or to forgive me." "It's okay. I'll help. Let's get to work. But maybe we could order a pizza?" She picked up the book on top of the pile and opened it. "Cordelia." Xander stopped looking at his book and stared at her, " I love you." She stared back at him, surprise and happiness showing in her eyes, " I love you too. " "It wasn't about wanting Buffy." He had to say the words. They had been choking him since Willow first said them. "I know. But thanks for saying it." Smiling at him she returned to the books. They worked in silence for over three hours. Then Xander stopped, put down the book and looked at her. "I think I found it." "Oh...." Hours later they were still working fevourishly. Trying to find out all they could about the spell. It took them most of the evening to translate it from the original Latin, but when they finished it Xander realized they had it. Cordelia, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. "Xander, this sounds fairly risky. I mean you actually have to go to hell." She reread the spell, making sure she was right. "But I can bring Angel back with me." "If you find him, or don't go insane. You do realize this is HELL we are talking about. Historically it is not a very nice place." "I have to do this Cordelia. For Buffy." "Xander you don't have to sacrifice your life because you didn't tell her. She would tell you that. " "I won't get trapped. I'm in, I get Angel, I'm out." "Xander, nothing is ever that simple. Do you want me to end up like Buffy? All crazy cause my boyfriend's in hell?" "Cordelia. Please. This is serious." "I'm serious. And this binding to another person to keep yourself attached to this world. I mean there is only two of us. What if something goes wrong. I won't be able to do anything." "It will be okay. I trust you to bring me back. You can do it." "Fine. Maybe I can. But we still need help. Xander, this is not a two person job. We are not doing this until Giles returns. We have more than enough problems with people striking out on their own." "How about we wait two days? If they aren't back by then I'm going." "Deal. Now can we go get something to eat and get changed? I'm feeling distinctly less than clean." Leaving the library they held hands. Feeling hope for the future once again. Deciding without words that the next two days were for them. They would pretend to be two normal teenagers in love. Pushing all thoughts of Buffy's problems, that Xander was planning to go to hell, and of Willow's hatred and condemnation aside. They would take long walks and go to dinner and maybe even see a movie. Stepping outside the library they heard the phone ring. They stared at each other and slowly turned and walked back into the room. --------- feedback...please. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (3/10) by Andrea Date: 26 May 1998 12:06:42 PDT disclaimers in part one Motel in Los Angeles August 18, 1998 9:00 pm They had met one hour after leaving the library. Giles had rented a mini-van for there trip. Climbing in they headed off to save their friend. They didn't talk much. To caught up in their private fears. Willow finally had to speak, "What if we can't help her?" It was the worst fear she had. That they would find her and still not be able to save her. Willow silently cursed Xander again. Now that her anger had cooled she realized that his choice probably didn't change anything. But the fact that he made that choice altered forever her perception of who he was. She had lost one best friend on this day. They had to be able to save Buffy. Four hours later they hit the city limits. Los Angeles. It was late so they checked into a motel. Planning to wait for morning before going searching for Buffy. Willow had brought her laptop so she could search LA's police reports and hospital admissions. Just in case. There was no sign of her. They would have to look on foot. Early the next morning they were out and searching. Giles took off to look for Buffy in the van while Willow and Oz headed out on foot. Searching alley's and run-down buildings. She couldn't be staying in a motel, she had no money. Her father hadn't heard from her so she wasn't there. They searched all day, but ended up back at the motel at suppertime empty hearted. They all sat around dejected until Oz spoke: "Didn't Buffy used to slay here?" "Yes, Why?" "Well, did she ever say where the highest number of vampires were. Cause I see her as still slaying even if she's not thinking anymore." "Oz, of course. Giles, she would be slaying. She wouldn't be able not to. Do you know where she used to patrol?" "Yes. Yes. Right. Let's go. I think I can find it." They headed out to visit the graveyard, making a few quick stops to buy some crosses and a couple pieces of wood. Oz turned out to be a very quick study in the art of stake making. They felt so hopeful as they drove towards the cemetery. Maybe Buffy would be with them tonight. Darkness found Giles, Willow and Oz creeping in the shadows of the graveyard. They heard her scream long before they saw her. They ran quickly in the direction of the scream, fearing for her life. She was fighting three vampires. Her technique was flawless, her moves graceful and fluid. It should have been a picture of a textbook slaying. But it was wrong, she was wrong. Her hair hung limply like it hadn't been washed since she left Sunnydale. Her clothes were torn and filthy. Her face was blank, no emotion, she just kicked, punched, staked. Her expression never changed, but the most frightening thing was the sound of her scream. It streamed from her mouth continually, seeming as if it was actually tearing her soul as she fought. They watched. Waited. Prayed. Willow understood then how bad this was. How far gone Buffy was. And for the first time she understood the kind of guilt Buffy lived with every day. The horror of making one mistake that cost so much. If she had never cursed Angel again, Buffy wouldn't have killed the man she loved. She would have killed the demon who wore his face. As much as she wanted to blame Xander, it was really her fault. She was the one who performed the curse. She did this to Buffy. Giles grabbed her hand then as if he knew her thoughts. He whispered to her, "Guilt won't help her Willow." He was right. They had to concentrate on Buffy, on helping her deal with her guilt. Everything else could wait. They watched as Buffy dispatched the last vampire and sunk to the ground, empty. They watched her cry, not knowing how to approach her. She spoke then, to herself, to Angel, "Three more Angel. We got three more. No Buffy, Angel is in hell. Remember you sent him there. Sorry, I'm so sorry." Giles looked at Willow. She stood there crying. Buffy's pain was so raw, so undiluted by the months that had past. She seemed so small collapsed on a fresh grave. Oz stepped forward, wanting to go get her. Willow stopped him, "Let me go first." She walked over to Buffy slowly, standing over her waiting for Buffy to look up. After a few minutes with no response she whispered her name, "Buffy." Buffy looked up slowly at that. She stared blankly into Willow's face and then slowly recognition dawned. She reached her arms up to Willow, and Willow hugged her sinking to the ground with her. Both of them sobbing. Buffy kept repeating over and over, "He didn't know Willow, He didn't know." Willow just rocked her, telling her wordlessly that everything would be okay now. Giles came over then, disengaging Buffy from Willow he picked her up. She was totally limp then. She let him carry her to the van. Oz held Willows hand as they walked behind them. They found her. What would happen next seemed even more frightening now. They took her back to the hotel. Willow helped her shower then giving her a pair of her pajama's tucked her into bed. And sat up watching her. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: OT: Tonight's ep? Date: 26 May 1998 19:17:56 EDT Deathly sorry to clutter boxes, I'm *reallyreallysorry*, but I just read in the paper the descripts of the two eps for tonight-- which were as follows: "8 PM -- BtVS, Wereworlf" 9 PM -- BtVS, Torment" Now I'm guessing the first one is Phases, but I can't think that I'd classify BBB as "torment", so I can't figure out what the second one might be. I had been thinking it might be a two parter repeat, but apparently not, so I'd honestlyreally appreciate it if somebody could mail me back before 8 PM est if they know what episodes will be aired this week, because I was planning on taping them but if I've already got them then I won't bother with it. Anyway, thank you, and I am *so* sorry to be posting this here but I don't know where else to go for help. Love y'all, Rachel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nothoney@olg.com (slb) Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: OT: Tonight's ep? Date: 26 May 1998 20:58:52 -0400 At 07:17 PM 5/26/98 -0400, KylenRevik wrote: >Deathly sorry to clutter boxes, I'm *reallyreallysorry*, but I just read in >the paper the descripts of the two eps for tonight-- which were as follows: >"8 PM -- BtVS, Wereworlf" >9 PM -- BtVS, Torment" It's "Passion." My most humble apologies for this OT post, oh Listmoms of Incredible Beauty and Wisdom . Sheryl NotHoney@olg.com Slayerette~Ravenette~Discoverer~BBFC "The truth is, I like this world. You've got dog racing. Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people, walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here." Spike, BTVS Moo: A Fan Fiction Zine http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3063 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jill Kirby Subject: BUFFYFIC: Admin: Majordomo Problems Date: 26 May 1998 20:16:33 -0500 (CDT) Just so y'all know... If you're trying to uns*b from any of the Xmission Buffy lists, be prepared for a long delay before your request goes through. The Xmission majordomo is apparently not feeling very well, and things are taking a very long time to go through. I'm also seeing some double posting, which is probably another glitch of the server. Please be patient. :) Thanks. Jill Jill Kirby ~~ jtkirby@mcs.com ~~ www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/4107 NatPack ~~ ABotCoS ~~ NP4 ~~ Dreamer/Minstrel Conform, go crazy, or become a writer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: nothoney@olg.com (slb) Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: OT: Tonight's ep? Date: 26 May 1998 20:58:52 -0400 At 07:17 PM 5/26/98 -0400, KylenRevik wrote: >Deathly sorry to clutter boxes, I'm *reallyreallysorry*, but I just read in >the paper the descripts of the two eps for tonight-- which were as follows: >"8 PM -- BtVS, Wereworlf" >9 PM -- BtVS, Torment" It's "Passion." My most humble apologies for this OT post, oh Listmoms of Incredible Beauty and Wisdom . Sheryl NotHoney@olg.com Slayerette~Ravenette~Discoverer~BBFC "The truth is, I like this world. You've got dog racing. Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people, walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here." Spike, BTVS Moo: A Fan Fiction Zine http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3063 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (13/?) Date: 27 May 1998 00:40:26 -0700 Name: The Chronicles of the White Knight #13 The Course of Fate Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creator Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG *************************** The Chronicles of the White Knight #13 The Course of Fate By: Taygeta The hushed voices of her students mingled with the clacking of keyboard keys and the loud printing of paper. Willow stopped typing long enough to glance over at her students to make sure that not too much talking was going on. Before turning back to her computer, she was able to pick up the words, Buffy and Xander, from the various conversations scattered around the room. Not since word of Xander and Cordelia going out had spread across the school, and the fact that it was he that broke up with her, did such a commotion arise from the students. Willow had to admit that although she hadn't reacted like most students, the news that her best friends were dating had surprised her just as much. Initially, she hadn't been very happy when such information reached her. It wasn't as if she had been longing for him because she didn't and hadn't for awhile, it was just that when he and Cordy broke up the idea that *they* might have been possible lingered in her mind. Although, Oz made all the lingering go away to the extent that she no longer thought, let alone want, such ideas, they all came back, momentarily, when Buffy told her about them. She had wanted to talk to her about something else, but as it occurred, Buffy's news came first, and it made her feel that what she had to say would not help matters much at all… … "Willow," the slayer said as she tapped her best friend's shoulder to gain her attention, "Hey." "Oh…Buffy…I was just looking for you," the redhead replied with a grin as she turned around to see the familiar face, "I have to tell you something." "Um…so do I," she said and then chewing on her lower lip, she looked around the campus and continued, "Why don't we sit down?" They walked towards a nearby bench and sat in silence for awhile, before Willow finally said, "Why don't you go ahead? You look like it's pretty good news." "I'd like to think it is," she said with a smile as she fiddled with a pen in her hand, "I'm not sure how to tell you this, Will, um… but…uh…Xander and I are going out." Willow blinked in surprised and found herself rendered speechless, "Uh…um…God, Buffy…uh…um… that's…wonderful." "Really?" she said with raised eyebrows, "Cause well, y'know…I was kind of worried that since you used to…" "That was a long time ago, Buffy," she replied with a weak smile, "And you two are my best friends, and if you guys are happy, then I'm happy for you. Besides, he's a great guy…when he's not…" She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, "No need to explain…I know all too well the mind and mannerisms of Alexander 'Xander' Harris." "I just hope you do," Willow joked and this time she really smiled, as she got over her shock, and was beginning to see that perhaps, they're dating wasn't that bad of an idea, after all. Still, she couldn't help but recall the last time Buffy had met with such feelings, "But what about Angel?" "What about him?" she replied with a sad, half-hearted shrug, "I mean, of course I loved him, but…I don't know…it just doesn't seem real to me anymore…now that he's gone. Maybe things happen for a reason, Will, maybe all of these things were meant to be…like I was destined to be the slayer." "So, does that mean that you think you and Xander are foretold?" her friend couldn't help but point out. Buffy smiled slightly, "Well, I don't know about that…did destiny bring us together? Sure, things happened that brought us closer, but whether it was through the hands of fate…that's kind of hard to say. All I know is what I'm feeling for Xander right now…it's different from all the crushes, relationships, and flings I've had in the past. This is not some weak-in-the-knees, I'm-falling-apart concept were talking about here. It's more than that…it's like every time he holds me, kisses me…even when he just talks to me I get this wonderful feeling that never really goes away. I even get that way when I'm just thinking about him. I mean, at first I had to say to myself that I was crazy and this was Xander…my friend, but later, it just made me think about him more, and the more I thought…the more I felt, and the felt…the more I…" As her obviously fallen friend trailed off, Willow said, "I know what you mean Buffy, you don't have to bother explaining it to me…it's all right. I better go…I have to get my lesson plans ready for tomorrow." "Wait…what was it that you wanted to tell me?" Buffy asked when she stood up to leave, but she met upon another pause from her friend. "Y'know, never mind…it's not important right now," she said while shaking her head with a nervous smile… …Never had Willow felt more surprise than in those ten minutes of conversation. Her mind had been full of contemplation about Xander, Buffy, Xander and Buffy as a couple, and than the thought of almost telling her about- RING! RING! She jerked when she heard the bell ringing loudly and stood up, "Class, make sure that you finish your spreadsheet by Friday and I'll need it on disk, as well as, a printed copy." A few groans could be heard from her pupils, but she just gave them a smile and a look that made them laugh. As she saved her document and shut down her computer, she looked up to see that Xander had walked into the room. "Hey," he said with a grin as he walked towards her, "Is the teach too busy to talk to an old friend?" "Hi, Xander," Willow said as she turned off her monitor and sat down in her chair, "What's up?" "Just the usual," he replied casually, but despite his breezy tone, a broad grin lay apparent on his face. "Oh…I don't know about that," she retorted eyeing him carefully as she stood up from her chair and walked towards him, "I've been hearing some pretty interesting things about your usual. So…how's all of this seeming for you?" "God, Willow, it feels like…like …oh, I don't know…like I'm walking on air," Xander said with a sigh, "As if I'm on top of the world and nothing can bring me down. I wake up, I think of her and go to sleep, and I think of her. I mean, I did that before, but all that time in between waking and sleeping and dreaming that's all I was doing…thinking…dreaming. But now when I wake up and smile because she's on my mind, that smile doesn't fade, Willow, because for some miraculous, wonderful, phenomenal reason…she loves me." Her smiled widened at his happiness, "I'm sure she does…and I'm happy for you, Xander…both of you." When she walked back to her desk and continued to clean up, he turned and said, "Aren't you going to lunch?" "Yeah…in a few minutes," she replied as she placed a stack of papers into her backpack, "You go on ahead, and I'll meet you, Buffy, and Oz, there." When he left, closing the door behind him, Willow sat down taking in the silence of the empty room. She sighed as she thought about her friends' descriptions on how they felt for each other…as if they were at a lost for words for it all. She understood. It was often like that between her and Oz and she hoped that nothing was going to ruin what her friends had. Her eyes fell to her cloth handbag and she lifted it up from the desk drawer as she bit her lower lip. She opened it carefully and pulled out the object that was plaguing her constantly. She sat there, just staring at it, and wondered what were the hands of fate doing now to them. Were they going to further deplete their lives of love and replace it with sorrow and pain as they had done so in the past? She didn't know what path destiny was to take them, all she knew was no matter how much she didn't want to…now matter what problems it might lead to…she had to show Buffy this…this yellow disk. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (4/10) by Andrea Date: 27 May 1998 05:36:35 PDT disclaimers in part one. Sunnydale High School Library August 19, 1998 Xander picked up the phone on the seventh ring. Silently praying that they had found her he cautiously said hello. A range of emotions played across his face as he listened to the caller. Worry, relief and guilt played out in his eyes. Covering the phone he mouthed to Cordelia that they had found Buffy. He listened to the caller for a few minutes more and then hung up. He just stood there, not speaking until Cordelia motioned for him to talk. "Giles. They found her. In a graveyard, slaying. They took her to the motel. She's sleeping now. Giles said she was so filthy, she didn't seem like herself at all. But that once the got her to stop screaming and took her to the motel she seemed more herself. Giles feels hopeful that seeing them will bring the world in focus to her once more." "Well, that's good. Right? I mean Buffy will be fine. She can deal with this." "Are you sure?" "Yes. She will be okay. Everything will be fine. Just give it some time." "No. No time. We have to do the spell now. Before they get back." "What? Why? They can help us. We shouldn't mess with this on our own." "What if it doesn't work? Buffy comes back, we tell her we found a way to rescue Angel from hell, but we fail. Even more torture for her. We can't risk it." "Xander, we can't risk =doing= it. It's too dangerous." "I'll say it's dangerous." A new voice entered the conversation. Xander and Cordelia spun around, Cordelia grabbing a cross from the table. A small man stood there wearing a hat. "And you are?" Cordelia was at her very haughtiest. "Whistler. I'm here to help." "No thanks. We're fine." Turning his back on the newcomer Xander picked up a book from the table. "Really? You've done this spell before? Opened a door to Hell and gone through it? Brought someone back? Do it often?" "How?" Spinning back around Xander stared at the man. "How do you know what we're planning?" "I figured someone would be doing it eventually. I thought it would be Buffy who would figure it out. But, well I guess sending Angel into hell was harder on her than we expected it to be." "WHO, or should I say, WHAT are you? Who is we?" Xander had moved so he was standing directly in front of Whistler, shielding Cordelia from him with his body. "I'm a demon. But not a bad one. I guess you could say I was Angel's mentor. I trained him so he could help the slayer." "You mean Angel being here wasn't a coincidence?" Cordelia questioned him. "No. Not exactly. Buffy found out so late about her destiny. She wasn't trained like other slayers were. We sent Angel in to level out the playing field. While she got caught up." Whistler wandered around the room while he spoke. "Who exactly did you think Angel was getting all his inside information from...vampires?" "Actually, yes." Xander seemed somewhat stunned by the news that Angel had a purpose. "No, we were his source. We were trying to help him keep Buffy alive long enough for her to come into her own. Which she has." "So, Angel was her guardian Angel." Cordelia spoke with only the faintest hint of sarcasm. "Technically, yes. So, why do you want to get him out?" Xander and Cordelia looked at each other for a moment then Cordelia spoke. "Cause Xander didn't tell Buffy Willow was trying to re-curse Angel and now Angel's in hell, Buffy's crazy, and Xander feels bad." "Gee, thanks Cordy." Xander spit out but didn't contradict her words. Whistler stared at Xander for a moment, shook his head and picked up the book containing the spell. Looking it over for a few minutes, then speaking. "That's rough. You were working good odds though. Tough luck you got the worst possible outcome." "Huh?" "Well, Angel dies before the curse, no one knows or cares. Or Angel is re-cursed before he awakens Acothla. No vortex into hell and everyone is more forgiving. It all worked out and so on. Unluckily for you, Buffy had to send Angel to hell after he got his soul. I'm not sure that telling her would have changed the outcome but I can pretty much guarantee she won't see it that way. So, now you look like the betrayer." "I did it because I was afraid she wouldn't kill him. You know, if she thought there was any way her Angel could return." "Well, looks like you were wrong. Ouch. She is going to be pretty ticked at you. I don't blame you for wanting to go to hell." "How do you know that's what happened anyway?" Cordelia spoke up, trying to defend her boyfriend. "I've been talking to Angel." "Oh. You've been to hell. Great. Here's a thought, why don't you just bring him back then?" "Can't. Rules. A human has to rescue him." "And that human is me. So how can you help?" Xander's face had hardened, he was determined to make this okay for Buffy. "Don't you need someone to be bound to? A link to this dimension? That would be me. I may not look strong, but keep in mind I'm a demon. I'll make sure you don't get stuck. Things have gotten messed up enough without you being trapped in hell." "Things? Messed up? What is going on? Some sort of Demon plan for the future?" "Cordelia." Xander's voice was warning her to be quiet. "No, it's okay. Let me just say this. There is more at stake than just getting Angel out of hell. We need him." Whistler's face was deadly serious. "Why?" "Look, there's no time. Why don't you two just go home and get some rest. We'll meet here tomorrow. No, wait, we'll meet at Angel's apartment. Tomorrow at 6:00 pm. I'll have everything ready." "Fine." Xander responded, "But, this goes against my better judgement." "I'd say that's a promising sign then." "Great. Another sarcastic demon. What's with you guys?" "It's not that I'm not mesmerized by your witty observations on demon nature, but you had better go home and prepare. Hell is =not= a pretty place and it's going to be hard to convince Angel to come back with you. He's sunk so far into recrimination and self-torture. He thinks he deserves to rot in hell." "Doesn't he?" The words slipped out before Xander could hold them back. "No. He doesn't." Whistler spoke in clipped tones. "Look Xander, let me spell this out to you. In simple terms you may be able to understand. Angel lost his soul when he was made a vampire. Then he got it back when he was cursed the first time. He lost it again when, well you know when. Now he has it back again. Are you noticing a pattern? Angel doesn't kill ever. The demon kills, Angel doesn't. Do you get it? Did Angel ever kill anyone before he lost his soul this time? Huh? No, he didn't. In fact, time and time again he risked his existence to save you guys. He wouldn't hurt Buffy or any of you for any reason. You'd better think this through tonight. See if you can figure out the difference between Angel and the demon that wears his face. You head into hell thinking Angel deserves his fate, well, then we'll be lucky if we even get you out." Turning quickly, Whistler disappeared through the door. Cordelia and Xander stood there for a moment, silently letting Whistler's words wash over them. Xander reached out and grabbed her hand. Together they left the library. Heading home to prepare for the day ahead. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (5/10) by Andrea Date: 27 May 1998 14:10:33 PDT disclaimers in part one. Willow's motel room August 19, 1998 Willow watched Buffy sleep. She felt a little better that at least Buffy looked like Buffy again. Her hair was clean and her face washed. She couldn't sleep, she just watched, waiting for her to wake. Praying that things would be okay. Hearing a knock at the door she smiled. She knew they wouldn't be able to sleep either. Letting them in she put her finger to her mouth to signal them to be quiet. Giles pulled a chair next to Buffy's bed and sat down. Oz climbed into Willow's bed beside her, grabbing her hand. Willow's mind was racing, how would she explain what she had done to Buffy. She had restored Angel's soul and forced Buffy to go through this torture. How could you apologize for that. They sat through the night, not speaking, just watching. Buffy woke just after midnight, screaming for Angel. She didn't realize where she was or who was with her. She just sobbed for Angel. She curled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth for what felt like hours to the three watching her. When Buffy slept calmly they all relaxed somewhat, Giles and Oz both drifted off to sleep. Willow had just closed her eyes and started to doze when she heard someone stir. Opening her eyes she saw Buffy sitting up in bed. Pulling herself up to a sitting position she watched her, waiting for her to speak. "I knew you would come. I knew the whole time I was writing the truth to you. I needed to have you guys with me, but I couldn't come home." Willow just smiled at her, afraid to say anything, not knowing anything to say except sorry. And she wasn't bringing Angel up, Buffy would have to do that. Buffy looked at Oz sleeping next to Willow and then at Giles asleep in the chair. She smiled sadly at them. "Where's Xander?" "With Cordelia, watching things." Swallowing her anger towards Xander she smiled brightly at her. "Good." Buffy sounded relieved, "I couldn't bear to hear him say that Angel deserved what I did. Or how he had always hated him. Did you hate him Willow?" "No. Buffy, before Angel lost his soul I really liked him, I trusted him. Buffy...I'm so sorry for what I did. That I forced you to kill Angel. I mean =good= Angel." She looked at Buffy, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. "No apology needed. You tried to save him. I will be forever grateful that you tried to give me that. And, if the spell had kicked in soon enough Angel would never have pulled the sword. I just wasn't fast enough." Willow watched Buffy, her stomach sinking at how calm Buffy was being. She had felt more hope when Buffy was screaming. At least then she seemed alive. Now she just seemed to trot out the correct phrases, but her eyes were frightening. They were frozen, no emotion shone through. She felt panicky, she had to make sure she said the right thing to her. "Angel wouldn't agree with you. He would tell you that it was okay. He would have felt horrible about what the demon did while he was gone." "Willow...he didn't know. He didn't remember. When I stabbed him...he...he had no idea why. His face, he was so shocked. I sent him to Hell. How do I live with that?" Buffy looked to Willow, her mask shattering. The tears streaming down her face, her eyes pleading with Willow to fix it. "You had no choice. The whole world would have gone to Hell. There were no other options." This was Buffy talking now. If she could just share what had happened, realize it wasn't her fault. Willow looked over to Giles, silently praying for him to wake up. "Then. I had options before. I wish I had known you were trying the spell again. I know there was no way I could have. It's just...Willow, oh god. I let him pull the sword. Well, not exactly let. I just waited, thinking when I had no choice it would be easier to kill him. See?" "Buffy, you didn't know. You did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself now." Willow climbed over into bed beside Buffy, silently vowing to make Xander pay. "You didn't know. We can't know everything." Buffy's breath caught on a sob, "That's what I said to Angel, before we slept together. That's how I justified what we were doing. I destroyed him twice Willow. First I took his soul, then when he got it back I sent him to hell." "Buffy. Listen to me. You cannot blame yourself. You did the best you could. You always do the best you can. It is =all= anyone could expect. Angel wouldn't want you to feel bad about what you did." "I know. Angel would want to take all the responsibility for what happened. He would have wanted me to kill him as soon as he lost his soul. Another failure." "Buffy, you're only 17. We all make mistakes, I do, Xander does... even Giles does." You did everything you did out of love." "Right, and Ms. Calendar died because of my love., I destroyed Giles life because I couldn't do the right thing. And, how's this for irony, when I can do the right thing I do it to the wrong one. Willow, I really don't think I can deal with this." "Yes. You can." Giles''s voice, strong and sure. "You saved the world. Angel would be proud of you." "ANGEL IS IN HELL." Buffy's eyes were taking on the wild look they had held earlier in the graveyard. Willow held her breath, waiting. "Buffy," Faltering at the pain in her voice Giles continued, "What happened?" "I sent him to hell. Sentenced him to worse torture than even he could come up with." "No. I mean how did you find out how to stop Acathla?" "Oh... some demon in your apartment. Whistler. He's a good demon or something. He said this was supposed to be Angel's big day, but with the..well...with Angel losing his soul things had gotten messed up. Thanks to me again." "Buffy." Giles voice held a warning for her to stop blaming herself. "Right, okay so I told the demon, Whistler guy to fix it himself and took off to try and find you. That's when I almost got arrested and Spike saved me." "SPIKE? As in William the bloody?" Giles voice was incredulous. "I know. Turns out Angel had stolen Dru from him and he wanted to help me kill Angel so he could get Dru back. Giles, I never could have succeeded without him. Never. I let him go, him and Dru. That was the deal I made. I went back to your apartment, Whistler told me that Angel's blood would open the vortex and also close it. So, I got the sword and went to kill Angel at daybreak. You know the rest. Xander saved you Giles. I fought Angel. Well, actually I fought the other vampires while Spike beat on Angel. I ignored what was happening with Spike and Angel. Half hoping Spike would kill him so I wouldn't be forced to. Half hoping Angel would pull the sword so I would have no choice left. Isn't that pathetic? I need my demonic ex-boyfriend to open a vortex to hell before I could kill him?" Her voice cracking again, Buffy's eyes wildly roamed the room. "Don't." Giles spoke with conviction, "You and Angel shared something special. I understand how hard it would be to let go of the hope that he would come back." "Giles...he killed Jenny and I still faltered." "Angel didn't kill Jenny. The demon did. I understand Buffy. It is not your fault. It happened and you have to let it go." Buffy reached over and grabbing on to Giles, she held him tightly as she sobbed. Giles felt the tears streaming down his face as he realized the truth in his words. It just happened. In their lives horrible things would always happen. They all had to accept this so that they could do what they were meant to do. Buffy eventually sat back on the bed, her face calmer from the tears. She took a deep breath and began again. "The end. Well, Angel pulled the sword. We had a good old-fashioned sword fight." Buffy spoke in a monotone, trying to remove herself from the horror she felt. "He collapsed, his eyes glowed for a second and then he looked at me. I knew it was different immediately, but I wasn't sure why. He spoke, asked me where we were. Giles, he didn't remember any of it. He was so confused. We hugged, kissed and I saw the demon's mouth opening. And I knew. It was to late. I had no options left. So I kissed him, told him I loved him, got to hear him tell me one last time. Then...then I told him to close his eyes and I ran the sword through him. Willow...he was so shocked. He reached out for me, his eyes asking why. He whispered my name and I just stood there. I didn't say anything. I just watched him go." She stopped, kneading the bedspread with her fingers.Her whole demeanor was collapsed, beaten. She seemed so tiny sitting in the bed, so helpless. They were all silent, each trying to figure out how to make this easier for her to handle. Oz cleared his throat and spoke for the first time. "The way I see it, and admittedly I was out of the loop for most of it, is that the guy I met at your surprise party, he really loved you. Then the next night, he's helping that Judge guy attempt a superkill at the mall. So, I'm thinking, these are two distinct guys with one body. Right?" "Close enough." "Well, I kinda got the 'two distinct personalities thing' also. And the bad one is totally not under my control. Now, what I get from you is that your boyfriend had the same problem. Even down to the fact that he had no memory of what he had done. So, again, similar. My point being, if I ever got loose and tried to kill someone or worse, did, I would never blame Willow if she couldn't kill me. If I had to deal with the guilt of having killed that would be my responsibility, never hers. On the other hand if she killed me, to stop me, I would go to my grave still loving her. No blame. Ever. If she did or she didn't, the ultimate responsibility is mine. I'm not saying Angel is responsible for what he did, it's just that by virtue of what he is, the possibility exists. If he decided to exist, he understood the risk." "Oz is right Buffy, he would never hold you to blame. You held onto hope and love. You held onto it until hope was gone. Angel would understand that. He obviously held onto hope or he would never have loved you." "Thanks Oz, Willow. I believe he wouldn't blame me. It's just that...he's in hell. His soul doesn't deserve hell. I wish I could go back in time and try harder to keep him from pulling the sword. Willow, quick question, and I am not blaming you, why did you tell Xander to tell me to kick Angel's ass if you were going to try the curse again? Nevermind, you probably didn't tell him because of how much he hated Angel. Sorry. What happened to Angel is my fault, everyone else did the best they could." "Breakfast." Giles broke in, trying to make sure she didn't continue in her present line of thought. "Let's order some room service." Willow and Oz jumped up and started moving around the room. Trying to focus Buffy's mind on other things. They all felt really hopeful after talking to her this morning and didn't want Xander's actions to send her backwards. "Xander will be proud of me at least." Buffy spoke off hand as she got up from the bed, "I mean, he doubted I could kill Angel when he had no soul. And I killed the Angel that I loved." Laughing bitterly she went into the bathroom. The all looked at each other fearing what would happen when they finally told her. No matter if Xander's reason's were pure or not, he was definitely going to be in for some hard times when Buffy found out he had known. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 25) Date: 27 May 1998 17:46:19 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 25) "Mother?" "Go Drusilla. I'll be fine." Isabelle soothed her daughter. Wanting nothing more than to rest and recover from the pain of traveling during the day. Just being active was taking it's toll on her body. "Mother I don't --" "Go Drusilla." Isabelle said sharply and groaned inwardly at her precious daughter. "See to your sister" With more than a few backwards glances Drusilla left the room, shutting the large wooden door as softly as she could. She swiped away a tear that fell loose from her eye. She'd never even imagined life without papa, and now life without mother? But Mum would go peacefully to the Lord. There would be no cruelty or torture. Just gentle rest. * The wind was hitting the windows hard, but that wasn't what had awaken her, Isabelle had long ago grown used to the high winds. Her eyes darted open quickly taking in her surrounding. She was in bed, the fire was dying somewhat but there were embers keep her warm. The eerie silence of the stone walls, and the surreal flickering of the fire against the wooden arrangements was so much more than calming. The nights soundless hymns filled the room comforting her. It meant there was nothing. The vastness of the room was empty inside to out. A dream then. She'd been in a dream. Oh how she cursed her luck. It would take her so much longer to get her eyes peacefully closed again, and her body couldn't go through another night of sleeplessness. "Isabelle" She tensed. There. Again, she'd heard the whispered voice. A chill was sent down her spine as she leaned over to sit up. No. There was nothing. Nothing but the wind. The wind was blowing hard, hitting the windows. It was the wind that had awoken her, the fire crackled, it was an sequence of many effects that had lead her to believe she'd heard her name called. An unbidden fear sunk through her, as she thought of death. Death calling her to be his bride now. She was so young, she wasn't even 35! She cursed him. Dru's father! He'd made her weak, and now she was going to die! "Isabelle" And there. In the window. The figure of death himself. Dressed in black, beckoning her to join eternity with him. She didn't shake her head, or even cry. She'd be brave. The biggest mistake she could have made she did. Getting out of bed Isabelle walk to the windowsill. "Isabelle" Was he not allowed in? Could death not enter at will? Her blood was running cold, every part of her body was shivering and now ice as she stared at the dark figure, standing outside her window. Unlatching the window she faced this dark figure, with his perfect face, but evil eyes. She took one step towards it, but hesitated. ~ "Angel? Or demon?" Angelus laughed, breaking out of his reverie, and play pretend. With one lunge at her he grabbed her frail waist and jumped with her back to the ground below. "Both" -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Zorina Alexe Kerina Skye" Subject: BUFFYFIC: No Regrets? [1/?] Date: 27 May 1998 20:26:55 PDT Title: No Regrets? Part: 1/? Disclaimers: I own nothing but the story itself E-mail: zorina@dreamscape.com Spoilage: Through B II Comments: welcome There was no going back now and she knew it. She was alone and she knew that she would be. Alone. Just one word ment so much. It ment no other slayer, it ment riding a buss away from her home heading to who knows where in search of god only knows what, and that was what she was doing, alone. She glanced down at the tickest she had crumpled up and twisted in her hands. This ticket would get her as far as Queens COunty in New York other than that she was on her own. She sighed several hours later as the bus pulled to a stop. "Remember folks you have a half an hour before we'll be heading out." The driver said annoyingly over the pa. With a sigh she walked into the trashy truck stop and bought a soda as well as a morning paper and soemthing to eat after she used the bathroom. Then she slipped back on to the bus and read over the headlines. She was never really a news paper person but what she saw made her cringe. "A seventeen year old girl dissapears following a brutal attack on her friends at Sunnydale High School in Sunnydale, Ca. Among the injured is sixteen year old Willow Rosenberge who escaped only with two broaken legs having awakening from a coma. Also the high school's librarian, Mr. Rupert Giles was found having been beaten within an inch of his life. However athorities still do not know the identity of an african girl found dead at the seen. "Principal Snyder stated that he knew the girl was trouble and had expelled her after finding her returning to the seen of the attack. "Her mother has stated that until her family can be notified her daughter's name will not be released. "After speaking with several of the victims police have stated that they are only concerned for the girl's well being as she is not a suspect and is only wanted for questioning concerning the parties involved and for asulting an officer at 'stake point.' "At this time Principal Snyder blames the attack on youth gangs under the influence of a strong narcotic PCP." Buffy looked at the pictures of the high school and her friends and wanted to cry but she didn't give in to that urge, she had nothing there to go back to. There was little time before the bus begain to move again. She had the entire day to plan and most of the next night before she would have to make any decisions on exactly what it was she was going to do. "Angle..." She whispered twisting the cladaugh ring on her index finger, "please forgive me for what I've done. I'll find that book and I will bring you back if I have to open the Hellmouth and walk into the depths of Hell itself to find you." She cried softly with all she had. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: groovy@snowline.net (Ivy) Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Oz Date: 27 May 1998 17:56:02 -0800 >So anyway, the question I wanted to ask was, how many other people think Oz is >one of the hardest BtVS characters to write for? 'Cause I know he's darn close >to having my vote. > >R Ok, I haven't sent anything out yet, but I am writing something, and although Oz free, I'd have to say he probably is a hard one to write for. But believe it or not, I think Buffy and Xander follow close behind. You know they're always going to say something witty, or some dumb joke-ish thing, but it's so hard to think of a witty thing to make them say when you're writing for them, you know? oh man. BY THE WAY-I am writing something, and I was wondering if there is anyone out there who would like to read what I've written, every time I pump out a section, and make corrections and offer advice...maybe an experienced writer, helping out a first timer, ya know? I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT! Thanks, e-mail me if you're interested! -Ivy ^ ^ --------uUUu--| .| |. |--uUUu--------- IVY!!! | | (aka-Rachel) Lover of this ( ) cool stuff: SCREAM, TITANIC, The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, South Park, David Duchovny, Nicholas Brendan, and Leo DiCaprio! +++++ "Hey, where's the cream filling?" -------| |------------| |----------- ( ) ( ) ooooO Ooooo ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 26) Date: 28 May 1998 01:51:52 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (Part 26) ((Some violence ahead..)) This was getting dull. Her heartbeat was perfectly stable, if not a tad bit weak. He tossed another grape at Isabelle's head. Nothing. She looked like a dead figurine, just laying there on the floor. Angelus groaned again, and rolled over on his back, laying on the large dinner table allowing his head to bob over the end so he may watch his new victim. He could be out. Outside frolicking in the night with lovely Drusilla, instead of waiting for her worthless mother to wake up. He threw the grape at her, missing her head entirely from his vantage point. Angelus pushed himself up from the table. There had to be a better way at going about this. ~ "Drusilla!" The sharp yell excited a jump out of bed sending Dru to her feet, as Lydia came running into the room. "Drusilla! Drusilla! Wake up!" "What? What? Lydia!" Drusilla's eyes widened in shock as adrenaline coursed through her body, a quick glance out the window told her it was around 5am or 6am "Lydia?" Dru asked exasperated. "C'mon!" Her sister bounced grabbing Drusilla's hand and leading her out of the room and into Isabelle's quarters. "Lydia, I told you I didn't want you coming -- ... Where's Isabelle? ~ "Mmm..." His eyes bolted from the bible he'd been ripping apart to Isabelle. Tossing the shredded book he crawled over to Dru's mother. "Drusilla?" Isabelle mumbled stupidly, turning around onto her back, with a little groan of pain. Cold shot up her frail body. A sensation filling her as though she were on ice! Her eyes fluttered open to show a young gentleman above her. Not ice. She was on the floor. Stone floor. Sending shivers down her body. She looked around. She was someplace new, with someone knew. The images didn't really flood back. It was more that she just knew something was wrong. Isabelle met her eyes with the dark man standing over her. "Am I dead?" ~ "What do you mean you lost your mother, child?" "I... Uh...Uh.." Drusilla thought "I... No... Umm..." "She's missing. She was ill and now she's all gone!" Lydia cried out hugging Miss Edith for all her life. "Shh, your going to have to calm down now." The sheriff sighed, not really wanting to deal with this hysterical lady. "When was the last time you saw her?" ~ "Not yet. But soon, I promise" Angelus said so seriously that Isabelle couldn't even scream, or cry, or beg. She could just stare at him, in a dull shock. Realization took an idiotically long time to dawn on her, but after precious minutes she understood. Somewhat. "You" She hissed, as she forced her body to sit up, then to stand. He stood with her, slowly. If she thought she could escape him in her condition she had to be insane. "You killed him!" Her eyes widened in horror. "You..." She gasped out. The image. The vision of her beloved husbands death.. Murder! This was him! This was fiend that had... "YOU KILLED HIM!" She screamed out, unconsciously knowing the virtuosity of her voice Angelus eyes widened. Now he was glad he had come to her next. She'd be music for his soul. Her knee's collapsed under her weight. But he was there, holding her as she tried to push him away screaming and crying. "Shhh... Calm down Isabelle" He said in a most unsettling way, lifting up her body so she might stand on her own "I'll tell you a secret" He smiled as though to make up for the torment he'd caused. His breath was near to her lips, she could feel it. And though she expected hot words to come from these lips, his breath was too cold, too chilling. "Your screams, will only hurt you more" One look into his wild eyes was enough to make her scream and scream. -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Aurelia Destiny" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Cloaked In Darkness: Chapter 5/? Date: 28 May 1998 02:27:22 PDT TITLE: Cloaked In Darkness AUTHOR: Princess Destiny (princessdestiny@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Things are not exactly what they seem when Giles finds an ancient diary, with news of the death of the Slayer. A new girl comes to Sunnydale and things start to go crazy, Angel is jealous because Buffy has a boyfriend and the Anointed one gets a nasty surprise... It is naturally a Buffy/Angel Romance story, cause I'm a hopeless romantic! RATING: PG. TIME PERIOD: Hmm, well since we have only seen up till Prophesy Girl here in AustraliaBut I HAVE read the scripts for the rest of them...Okay, just after Prophesy Girl and we'll leave it at that! THANK-YOUS: FEEDBACK: PLEASE! I love to hear from people! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first, I'll say yes anyway, but I want to know where it is going. DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and the others are the property of Joss Whedon. Gabriella and any others I add later on are Mine, Mine, Mine! This is my first try at a Buffy fic so don't be too harsh, comments and suggestions or even praise for my lovely story are very welcome! ************************ CLOAKED IN DARKNESS ************************ ***PART 2: PROPHESY*** Chapter 5: Prophesy of Darkness Angel watched Giles staring down at an open book, some others under his arm and mumbling and stuttering his way through a strange language that sounded vaguely familiar to the vampire. "What language is that?" he asked curiously, Giles jumped violently, the books in his hands tumbling to the floor with a clatter. "Ah, an an-ancient language...not used anymore anywhere. Not for centuries, I can’t even recognize it" Giles stammered, he pushed the glasses back onto his nose nervously and bent to pick the dusty books up. Angel came fully out of the shadows, where he had been hiding and handed a book that Giles had missed to him. "Why would you want a ancient language Giles, has something come up about...Buffy?" Angel clenched his hands when he said her name but Giles never noticed, too busy with his own thoughts. "No, no. Just a dream I had, someone said something and it sounded somehow familiar to me so I looked it up. It’s very complex and I was just trying to learn the basics when you came in" Giles explained and Angel felt a frown cross his face, Giles having dreams where people spoke strange, long unused languages was not a good thing. Giles handed Angel a book and the vampire looked at it with raised brows, it was very old and that much was clear, yet it seemed in perfect condition. "What does this say?" he asked the Watcher and Giles took his glasses off to wipe them with a hanky, he looked off into space and Angel felt as if he were alone for a moment. The words on the cover were in silver and the symbol of three stars surrounding a crescent moon were in the very center, also silver. The book’s cover was made of soft red leather and Angel stroked the symbols lightly, feeling something like electricity jolting down his fingers and into his body. "It says, well I’m not exactly sure WHAT it says Angel, I haven’t been able to translate any of it yet" The Watcher said with extreme irritability, he took the book back off of Angel and began muttering again. "You see it’s a small bit like modern Romanian, but a lot of it is some other, or several other languages as well" Giles sat back down and opened the book, Angel leaned over him and stared at the strange script, it was like nothing he had ever seen before and it was strangely compelling. The pages were only ever-so-slightly yellow, as if written only a year or two before, but they both knew better. "It’s remarkably well preserved, even the writing. No sign of decay at all" Giles said almost to himself and Angel nodded with agreement, it was astonishing to say the least. An impossibility almost. "And someone in your dream told you something in this ancient language? How did you recognize it?" Angel wondered, his eyes were already hurting trying to follow the complex wording and he stood back. "Ah, well not in THIS language that is written in the book here. Another, in the back of it. I-I’ll explain in a moment" Giles said, he patted the pages almost lovingly. "Uh, umm, well that is the strange part naturally. I found this book 20 years ago in a far eastern continent and bought it for quite a lot of money. The owner was quite loath to part with it for some reason but his wife convinced him they needed the money. All he could tell me was that it was partly Ro-Romanian, the interesting thing is that there are not other books like this in the world that I could find" Giles stopped and ran a hand through his hair distractedly and Angel sat down across from him, waiting for the man to continue. "I saw straight away that it was not modern Romanian, nor anything I could remotely comprehend. In the back of the book though were words in modern Romanian, the only part in the whole book that I could translate..." he held out a piece of paper to Angel and the vampire scanned it swiftly, he had traveled a lot and understood Romanian probably as well as the Watcher. It took only a moment to read it and then he looked up quickly, shocked and horrified. "Are you sure this wasn’t added after the book was originally written, the languages have changed so much that it seems impossible someone could have understood them back then" Angel said darkly, looking for some way that it could somehow be wrong, that the book had been tampered with. Giles gave the vampire serious look, his voice worried when he finally spoke. "I’m sure. From the tests I had done on this book-and I must say that my colleague and I were both most impressed with how well preserved the ink was-we found that this message WAS indeed written at the exact same time as the rest of the book" Giles admitted, Angel didn’t know why he wasn’t more surprised, but with all he had seen and heard in the last 241 years, nothing really got to him anymore. Much. "Oh Buffy" Angel murmured, his eyes terrible for Giles to see, they burned with a fierce protectiveness, but also a deep hatred for what Buffy’s normal life had become. All that she was made to do to save the world from vampires and all at the age of 16. "And the dream?" Angel prompted and Giles tried to say something but it came out in a stuttered sentence, clearly it had unnerved the Watcher very much. "Yes, Uh, the dream. Well the woman said something and it came to me that it was the exact same words written at the back of this book, I dug it out immediately and I’m quite sure that I was meant to remember about this diary..." Angel got to his feet and snatched the book back, Giles was mildly surprised as the vampire opened the covers and touched a page gently. "You’re right, these ARE dates, but they too are strange. I don’t think I could understand them..." Angel murmured and Giles gave a short laugh, rising to peer at the page that Angel was staring at. "Not too strange, Uh, that is another strange thing too though" Angel gave him an annoyed look and wondered how many other strange things Giles would tell him of about the book. "Umm, the d-dates are similar to...correspond to, Ah let me see" the Watcher moved some papers around on his desk frantically, searching and came up a moment later with a very crumpled piece that had scribbles all over it. "Ah, here it is. The dates you see are even older than the book, umm, that is, they seemed to have used a completely different and older numerical system than their own language" "What system?" Angel demanded, feeling as if he were being used as a pawn somehow and something nagged at the back of his mind though he could not quite place it. "Mmm? Oh, Persian, very ancient also. A-about 500 B.C I believe, when the Civilization was at it’s height" Angel stared at the man, but said nothing. Persian? Giles and he exchanged a look a moment before Buffy, Xander and Willow burst into the Library. They skidded to a stop breathlessly and Buffy panted for a moment, completely ignoring Angel. "Oh Buffy, good I want to talk to..." Giles began hesitantly, Angel gave him a quick glance however and the Watcher began to think that maybe Buffy shouldn’t know about the book. She and the other’s didn’t seem to notice Giles soft words and Xander quickly blurted out the reason for their untimely visit. "Giles! There are vampires heading towards ‘The Bronze’ and I mean a lot! We need backup and heaps of ammo" Xander gasped out and Buffy gave him a quick look, Willow came forward and her eyes were on the book still held in Angel’s hands. "What’s that?" she started to say but Buffy shot her an angry look, so Willow shut her mouth. Angel put behind his back unobtrusively and leaned back against the edge of the table, making sure Willow and Xander stayed in front of him. "Later Will, can’t you keep your mind from books for a moment?" Buffy demanded angrily, Xander and Willow looked startled but Buffy never noticed as she grabbed the key to the weapon’s cage from Giles startled hands. She raced in and started piling stakes and bolts for the cross-bow into her bag, while Xander grabbed some holy water from his bag and tossed it from hand to hand. "How many vampires are heading there?" Angel asked urgently and Xander gave the holy water to willow to hold up all his fingers, flashing them twice to indicate 20 and then he threw up his hands annoyed. "Uh, more than I can conveniently count!" he shouted as he went to help Buffy and left Willow to recount what had happened. "We were headed out with Buffy for Graveyard duty when she got major cram...Uh vibes that there was something up. We followed her and saw about, I’d say, 30 vampires heading for a buffet at ‘The Bronze’" Willow estimated the amount and Angel looked slightly skeptical, then flashed a strange look at Giles, throwing the old book back at the watcher who caught it carefully. "That’s right Giles. If we don’t leave now it’s going to be a total stain. Coming Angel?" Buffy shouted over her shoulder as she left the Library, not even waiting to see if he followed and Angel winced at the coldness he heard when she said his name. "Business as usual" he muttered to himself and quickly followed. Giles listened till they left and then sat down again to try and decipher the book, the book fluttered open as a strange gentle wind went through the room, spinning through the pages till it came to the inscription at the back. Giles seemed to hear whisperings in the wind and listened harder, but it suddenly died down as quickly as it had come. He looked up slowly, pushing his glasses back further onto the bridge of his noise with extreme nervousness. The book had opened by itself on the page with the message that was the only Romanian script he could read and it lay there, almost seeming to mock him. ‘And it shall come to pass that the book shall fall into the hands of a human called ‘The watcher’, when day and night are one and the Slayer of the blood-drinkers shall fall under a cloak of darkness’ ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Oz Date: 28 May 1998 06:24:38 EDT In a message dated 98-05-27 21:42:27 EDT, you write: >Ok, I haven't sent anything out yet, but I am writing something, and >although Oz free, I'd have to say he probably is a hard one to write for. >But believe it or not, I think Buffy and Xander follow close behind. You >know they're always going to say something witty, or some dumb joke-ish >thing, but it's so hard to think of a witty thing to make them say when >you're writing for them, you know? The thing is, @ least for me, if I slip into "Buffy Mode" then all the Valleyspeak and Buffyisms make sense to me so I can write them. But there's no Oz-mode (yet, I hope they establish more about him tho) so that means it's all a big PITA. :( WIth Buff & Xander, my suggestion would be that you not *try* to make it funny or anything, just write the way they would talk and the funnies come out on their own. R ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 27) Date: 28 May 1998 22:11:28 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 27) (Some Violence) Never had a carriage ride taken so long. The dirt path was continuous, and they were in such a hurry. Isabelle was out somewhere, she was going to die if they didn't find her fast. She knew it, just like her father. Someone was going to kill mother! They sat in the small transportation box. The sheriff, one of his men, Lydia and herself. Fear was eating away at her. Oh god, this could be her fault! If she'd just stayed with Isabelle... stayed with her through the night, sat by her side! It ended finally. They were at the Hurst mansion. Drusilla didn't wait for the coachmen to come around and help them out. There was no time to be ladylike. Throwing open the door she rushed the deputies into the house, and up the stairs. Lydia somehow managed to run ahead of her frantic sister and tossed open the doors. "This is where you last saw you mother? Isabelle?" One asked. "Yes, she was here --" ~ The air blew towards Drusilla's face, giving her the most hideous feeling she'd ever had. The wind around her told her stay back, this was danger! Something grotesque! Something evil had been here, but it didn't tell her what. Her mind, or soul, or perhaps her psyche tried to tell her something. Something bad. But she couldn't see. Angelus. She could defiantly see him, feel his presence. Of course she felt his presence! He plagued her every thought! How could she dream of forgetting someone so perfect. But now - this was wrong. Something... awful. Isabelle and Angelus. Her mind made no sense. A Picture. Of teeth, and blood, and Angelus and Isabelle. ~ "Drusilla!" Lydia screamed out as her sister whimpered and fell to the floor. The sheriff ran to the maiden as she fell to her knee's, keeping her steady so she didn't fall any further. The deputy immediately began to fan her, trying to get oxygen to her nerves while the sheriff worked on soothing her. Drusilla's head fell against the sheriff as he held her sobbing, not understanding. 'Women' the sheriff hissed in his head. 'Wasn't his job hard enough with out women?' ~ "Isabelle!" He hissed smacking her. Damnit! She was doing it again. "Ohhh, Isabelle" He sighed, dropping to his knees over her, straddling her body under his. "C'mon. I'm sorry." He looked so serious, totally transfixed in his work. Her swollen eyes slowly opened again. But this time she couldn't breath to utter a plea, the weight on her chest was suffocating her His eyes lit up again "There we are," He smiled, jumping off her body to sit next to her. "all better and conscious again" His hands were caressing her, and she felt she might be sick. But she was too tired to care anymore. The pain turned to nothing but a dull ache, the world was blending together and everything made sense. Perfect sense. "Isabelle" Angelus leaned over the dying woman. "Don't go" He said to her as she began to close her eyes again. "It's almost dark. And, I know Drusilla's worried sick by now..." This caught her attention. Her precious daughters name. Her eyes were flickering with hatred, and it was a most beautiful shade she wore well. "I want to pay her a visit. I was hoping you'd come" -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 5/?) Date: 29 May 1998 02:47:53 -0400 SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments or requests for previous parts to conor@dnaco.net PLEASE DO NOT DISTRIBUTE WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST! Morning found Rick hard at work at the pell. The days he=92d spent on Buffy had been days he=20 wasn=92t practicing, and although he=92d been able to coast=20 when he was younger, that wasn=92t a luxury anymore. He=92d been at it about an hour when Buffy came out into the garage. She watched him work for a while, offering helpful comments until his third dirty look told her he=20 really wanted to do this on his own. She wandered around the garage, poked at his=20 computer for a few minutes, and started looking over his sword=20 collection. She pulled one off the wall, an almost exact match to=20 the one Rick was using, and gave it an experimental swing or=20 two. She started to feel a little tightness in her chest as she=20 thought about the last time she=92d held a sword. She started to=20 put it back, when Rick said, =93Good choice. That one and this=20 one are the jewels of my collection.=94 =93Are they a set?,=94 asked Buffy, =93It looks like they=92re=20 supposed to be. The inscriptions are the same, the design is the=20 same, but the blades look, I dunno...different.=94 =93You have a good eye for swords,=94 Rick commented. =93Weapons are my life, =93said Buffy, =93Or at least they=20 were.=94 Rick walked over and held his next to hers, =93Well, these were originally identical,=94 he said.=20 They were commissioned by twin brothers in the 11th century,=20 before they went off on Crusade. There were monsters around=20 back then too, and the brothers had apparently had a demon=20 problem... The records aren=92t really clear, big surprise. Anyway, they had some sort of evil magic issues, because they got the=20 Pope to bless their swords against evil. No-one can really say=20 how they got him to do it, but it=92s too well documented to _not_=20 be true. They were passed from father to son for generations,=20 until in the 14th century, that one was broken, no one can say=20 how. The owner had it reforged as close to the original as=20 possible, but it came out slightly different the second time. I=20 found this one in an antique store in Columbus, and after=20 researching the story, I bought that one in auction.=94 =93I even went so far as to have them re-blessed, not by=20 the Pope, of course, but by the Archbishop of Cincinnati. I did=20 him a favor a couple of years ago, so he knew _just_ the right=20 blessing to put on it.=94 He smiled. =93What does this say?=94 asked Buffy, =93Giles was trying to=20 get me to learn Latin, but I kind of, well, didn=92t.=94 =93Deus manus mei contra Caligo adducere,=94 Rick replied,=20 =93God guide my hand against the Darkness.=94 =93That=92s kind of cool,=94 Buffy said, =93Like an invocation, or=20 something.=94 =93Well, that=92s how I use it.=94 he replied, =93Whenever I=20 really need to connect with one of them, I say that. I=92ve never=20 missed when I did, so I guess it works.=94 =93Yeah,=94 Buffy chuckled, =93It couldn=92t have anything to do=20 with your mystic gift with swords, eh?=94 =93Heh-heh,=94 Rick laughed, =93You are _so_ smart. Come on,=20 Miss Smartypants, let=92s go a few rounds. Even if you=92re out of=20 the business, you don=92t want to go all flabby in the, well....=20 posterior region.=94 =93MY WHAT?=94 Buffy yelled, throwing a half-hearted=20 punch at his head, =93Ok, pal. Let=92s dance. Um... not with these, though, right?=94 =93No,=94 Rick replied, =93I usually only use these on bad=20 guys. Those over there, are my father=92s old practice blades. I=20 haven=92t got to use them since he died. It=92s hard to find sparring=20 partners for this particular combat form.=94 They walked over to the practice rack and picked up a=20 couple of rebated broadswords. =93You want body armor?=94 Rick asked, =93I=92d hate to bruise=20 you.=94 =93Oh, please,=94 Buffy smirked, =93I=92m the Slayer, remember?=20 If you can bruise me, good for you.=94 She took a swing at him to start the fight. They fought for a quite a while, neither one gaining=20 much ground. Rick was a master of the blade, but Buffy was=20 more gifted overall. At first, it was all sword work, cutting and=20 parrying, but after a while, Buffy decided to up the ante. She faked high with the sword and kicked Rick right in=20 the gut. The air wooshed out of him and he doubled over, but=20 as Buffy took a swipe at his head, he brought his sword up into=20 a blind parry and gave her a punch in hers in return. =93Okay, pretty,=94 he gasped, =93We=92ll play it that way.=94 The fight continued for several more minutes, ending=20 finally in Buffy giving Rick a spinning kick to the chest, doing=20 an aerial over him and ending with her sword-tip resting=20 lightly=20 on his breast-bone. =93Acrobatics?=94 Rick chuckled, =93Who said we could use=20 acrobatics? Did you see _me_ use any acrobatics? No! Good=20 moves, you took me completely by surprise. I should have=20 remembered that you have abilities I don=92t. Well, help me up.=20 I=92m too old to just lay here on the floor.=94 Buffy reached down and pulled him to his feet with=20 absolutely no strain. =93Sorry. Sudden use of Slayer-fu against the elderly was=20 probably not fair, but I was starting to get tired.=94 Buffy said,=20 =93You=92re really good, even after I started using my some=20 punches and kicks, you kept it going. I=92ve never had someone=20 who could give me a fight in practice. Giles tried, but he=92s, well,=20 kind of normal. I always felt like I couldn=92t let loose on him.=20 Anyway, this was fun. We should do it again. I _am_ feeling a=20 little flabby. I started to get tired way too soon.=94 =93Grab a shower,=94 said Rick, =93And I=92ll start breakfast.=94 =93Lunch,=94 replied Buffy. =93Lunch?=94 asked Rick. =93Yeah,=94 said Buffy with a smile, =93We fought right=20 through breakfast.=94 ********** They settled into a sort of routine after that . Each morning,=20 they worked out in the garage until they were both exhausted. Rick found out the hard way that the Slayer was pretty much=20 combat incarnate, as good with a sword as she was with everything else, which was to say, better than he=92d been at his best. Fighting her helped him get back some of the skill he=92d lost over the years. They never discussed their forbidden topics, which led to=20 a lot of quiet time between them. Besides their mutual calling,=20 they had very little in common. Rick taught her to drive, and found, much to his=20 emotional discomfort, that driving was not a skill that the=20 Slayer born with. In short, she was a terrible driver. Rick=20 acquired a fair number of brand-new gray hairs from the=20 experience, but Buffy learned, and got better pretty quickly. June came and went. They both got much better with=20 their battle skills. They used the old =93Highlander=94 trick to get=20 her a new identity, and with it, a driver=92s license. Buffy was=20 ecstatic with her newfound power, and actually took the Toyota=20 out for a drive.=20 They had become comfortable around each other, each=20 realizing that they=92d found someone they didn=92t have to worry=20 about protecting. Buffy couldn=92t figure out how Rick had lived alone for=20 six years. No-one ever called him or stopped by, and when=20 Buffy asked him about it, he said that he didn=92t have any=20 friends. He=92d pushed them all away so that he wouldn=92t have to=20 worry about them. After a couple of years, they all got the hint=20 and moved on. It made her feel sorry for him, all alone for so=20 long, and she tried to be his friend. He=92d started patrolling again after a couple of weeks. He=20 had a creeping feeling that there was something going on in=20 the area, something bad. He had no evidence beyond the attack=20 on Buffy, but he was sure there was something he was missing. He=92d just cruise the city, one hand on his sword, hoping it=20 would twitch. It didn=92t, but he couldn=92t give up his suspicions. After the first couple of times, Buffy offered to go with=20 him. =93I could come with you,=94 she began, =93You know, to watch=20 your back...=94 =93Nah, that=92s ok,=94 her replied, =93It=92s just patrolling.=20 Besides, I wouldn=92t feel right dragging you out to do something=20 you hate.=94 The rebuff smarted. Buffy had just wanted to help, and=20 Rick=92s words had felt just about like a slap. She shrugged it off,=20 and got past it. If he didn=92t want her help, she was cool with=20 that. When nothing turned up, he began looking into=20 disappearances of young girls, and was unsurprised to find that=20 ten had disappeared over the past month. They came from all=20 over the Dayton area, varied in age from ten to seventeen, and=20 besides being female, had nothing in common. He tried to=20 triangulate a search by where the girls had been taken from.=20 That gave him a place to start looking. Buffy was the one that noticed the girls had each been=20 taken from a different suburb of Dayton. It didn=92t take much to=20 see where they _hadn=92t_ been taken from, and Rick decided to=20 patrol there for a couple of nights. =93Need someone to watch your back?=94 Buffy asked, =93It=20 was my brilliance that gave you the clue. I=92d hate for you to end=20 up all beat up because of something I said.=94 =93You really sure you want to go?=94 Rick replied, =93I could=20 use the backup if something goes on.=94 He smiled inwardly. She was healing, and getting the=20 itch to kick some evil butt. They patrolled for a couple of nights. They were boring=20 nights, since nothing came of them, but after three nights in=20 Beavercreek, they actually thwarted an attack on a sixteen=20 year old girl. They thrashed a total of eight guys and chased off=20 another couple, and got the girl home with a minimum of=20 mental anguish, and only minor damage to themselves. Back at the house, they celebrated their success. =93We make a good team,=94 Buffy commented as she=20 soaked a bruised fist in a bowl of ice. =93I was thinking the same thing, myself,=94 said Rick while=20 cleaning a cut on his forehead, =93But I didn=92t want to be pushy.=94 =93No biggie,=94 replied Buffy, =93And by the way, this is not=20 like I=92m Slaying or anything. This is just me, keeping you from=20 getting physically abused by the bad monsters.=94 Rick chuckled. =93Ok,=94 he commented dryly, =93You=92re not Slaying. You=92re=20 my..... sidekick.=94 =93Hardly,=94 said Buffy,=94 since I can kick your butt=20 sideways. I=92d like to think of us as partners.=94 They talked about the night, trying to figure out what=20 the bad guys were up to and coming up empty. They were=20 collecting young girls for something.=20 Rick figured they were building up for a sacrifice, but he=20 couldn=92t figure out what they=92d need that many girls for. Buffy wished they had Giles handy. She was sure that=20 he=92d be able to find just what they needed in his =93big set of=20 musty old books.=94 They didn=92t have Giles, however, so she=20 figured they were out of luck in the research department. Two days later, they were finishing up their morning=20 workout when the phone rang. They both stopped dead. The phone hadn=92t rang since=20 long before Buffy had moved in. *Hell,* Rick thought, *There are only about three=20 people who even have this number.* He picked up the phone. =93Hello?=94 he said, then paused as the person on the line=20 began talking. =93Trina, slow down. How do you know she was.... A=20 note?... Addressed to me.... Yeah, read it to me........=94 He sat down as if a weight had landed on his shoulders. =93You=92re sure it says Golab?... Ok, I=92ll get her back.... Yes,=20 I know this is my fault. I=92ll make it right..... No, I=92m sure she=92s= =20 still alive....... Look, this is what I do. No, I didn=92t expect this to= =20 happen someday, that=92s why I sent you away. Trina, I=92ll get her=20 back..... I=92ll call you in a couple of days. Yeah.=94 He hung up the phone, and sat like he=92d aged 100 years=20 during the conversation. He looked at Buffy and said, =93Demons have my=20 daughter.=94 more to come... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (14/?) Date: 29 May 1998 02:03:03 -0700 Name: Chronicles of the White Knight #14 Pitfall Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creator Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG ************************ Chronicles of the White Knight #14 Pitfall By: Taygeta Buffy and Xander lingered still in the empty corridor, despite the fact that the last bell had rung nearly half an hour ago. A month had come and gone, but to them it was as if time had stood still and they had loved forever. Still, forever may not be as permanent as it seems to be. "Don't you have to be somewhere?" he said softly in her ear as his arms encircled her waist, recalling that she had told him of her meeting Giles after school. "What…you want me to leave?" she replied looking up at him. "Well, I - " Xander began, but the loud clacking of cheap leather loafer soles on the hall linoleum ceased the conversation as their eyes fell upon the odious intruder. Principal Snyder approached them with his gnome-like exterior and not to mention his overbearing small-man complex," I though I made it clear to you and your trouble-making group before…public displays of affection on school property is entirely inappropriate." With much reluctance, Buffy removed her arms from his neck and his from her waist. They stood abash for a moment as they eyed the principal that still held presence over them. "That's…better," he replied, giving them a look as he continued, "Let's hope I don't have to warn you two again, but knowing you two…" "Look Principal Snyder - " she began as he started to walk away, but Xander pulled her arm in a move to stop her. Her eyes blazed wondering how he had such insolence hinder her thwarting. "Buffy, as much as I'd love to see the Slayer vs. the Snyder, the words of 'suspension' and 'expulsion' come to mind," he replied looking into her eyes and then getting out of his serious mode, he continued, "Can ya possibly see these words coming to yours?" She sighed, "I know, Xander, I know, but can I help it if our principal happens to be the complete moron that he happens to be? I'm serious though, anything I probably do to him would be an improvement." "Wait a minute, first you expect me to understand you could get away with rearranging his face without getting yourself into more trouble than you already are and now you expect me to believe that the words 'Snyder' and 'improvement' can be used in one sentence?" he said. "How gullible do you think I am?" She held in a laugh before she retorted, "You sure you want me to answer that?" Before, Xander could respond, she glanced at the large clock at the front of the corridor and banged her head against the nearby locker. "It's nearly 3:30, and I told Giles that I'd be there at three, and don't you dare tell me I told you so!" Kissing Xander promptly on the cheek, she said, "I'll see you later," and then ran as quick as her feet could carry to the library, making sure that she went the opposite direction of Snyder. He leaned against the locker with a sigh, but this was not a sign of tiredness or fatigue. It was rather the sigh of contentment because at this pinnacle in time that was what he was…content. Such feelings of relaxation faded, when the quiet of the empty halls of Friday was broken by the echoing sounds of designer heels of Italian leather. He looked up and, there, approaching him, was none other than, Cordelia Chase, herself. "Hi, Xander," she said sweetly with a smile, "Um…look, can we talk?" "Sure," he replied with a nonchalant shrug, "Talk away." She frowned slightly at the place of meeting, but sighed and continued, "We got off to a pretty bad break up and I just wanted you to know that Colin didn't mean anything to me…at all. I just wanted to make you jealous, I guess." "Wait a minute, Cordelia, are you telling me that you wanted to make me jealous when you and I were already together? Why?" Xander retorted with an expression of perplexity. "That way, for once, you could look at me, you nimrod, without even the slightest thought of Buffy in the back of your mind," she said angrily, wondering why she even troubled herself to do these things. Xander shook his head in disbelief and exhaled deeply, "Look, Cordy, did it ever occur to you that guys can get over you? Wait a minute…why do I bother asking? You can't even get over yourself." "Oh…right, words of wisdom from the greatest of the self-centered," she responded, "God, I'm surprised I put up with you for that long. You could never once adjust to what I wanted; it was always that I got stuck with the pitfall. Can you possibly comprehend, in that little brain of yours, the state of shock I got after plunging from the popular to the…the…Scooby Doo Gang?" "Hey, you chose to be with me, I didn't make you do anything," he replied, his voice dropping to a softer tone, "And I stayed, okay? No matter what was going on, how I felt about Buffy, I didn't want to hurt you, Cordelia. At that moment, I'm sure I pretty much gave up on the idea that anything could happen to her and I, anyway. Don't talk to me about pit falls and comprehension…don't talk to me about blindness and self-centeredness because from the way I see it, you're the one who's lost mind and reason. Don't you understand? We may have had problems, many of which were probably my fault, but you made them worse. Cordelia…I know about the spell." "What?" she responded with a surprised expression, "How is that possible?" "Amy told me all I needed to know…she didn't erase my memory," he replied, and then continued, "I should thank you, actually, because without you I think I would have given up on Buffy entirely by now. Maybe that means that the hands of fate may be finally working in our favor." Cordelia grew decidedly silent and she turned to hear footsteps approaching them, and as the owner of that tread came into light, she smiled. She walked closer to him and whispered in his ear, "And maybe not," before she kissed him, all in the sight of his beloved Buffy. "Buffy…wait! I didn't - " Xander said as he saw the familiar figure in blonde running away when he tried to push Cordelia away from him. "Welcome to your pit fall, Xander," she said as she ended up pushing him and walked with loud steps away from the scene she had left to transpire. He banged his head against the locker and then slammed his fist against the very same, "God…No!" Shaking his head, he ran and hoped for anything that everything they had was not falling to pieces with every passing second. Buffy ran until she could run no more and finally found some solace in Willow's opened, empty classroom, formerly that of Miss Calendar's. The image of the scene was too vivid…too fresh in her memory that her brain hurt to think about it and her heart ached to know that it was true. She wanted to know why he had kissed Cordelia, and if it were vice-versa, why didn't he push her away? A million questions and a handful of possibilities were all she received for her sorrow and confusion, and as Willow walked into the room, her confusion was decidedly going to intensify. "Buffy…what are you doing here?" she asked sitting beside her friend in one of the various classroom desks. "Kind of weird seeing me in a classroom by act of choice, huh?" she joked despite the fact that her mood was far from the realm of humor. "What's wrong?" Willow asked as she noted the sad expression in her friend's eyes. She shook her head and replied, "It's nothing," but in the back of her mind she heard herself continue, < because Xander and I are nothing. > "Um…there's something I think I should tell you," the redhead said as she stood up and walked to her desk. "What's that?" she responded as she stood up and followed her friend. The redhead hesitated, but then pulled out a yellow disk from her satchel, "I found this while cleaning up the class and there's something in this disk that you should know about?" Sensing her friend's demur, Buffy realized that the content of the disk held something of great importance, "What's on this disk?" "Miss Calendar translated some very intricate and ancient text and she put it on this disk," she began and then she took a deep breath, "She was looking to give Angel back his soul, and she succeeded. Buffy, this disk contains the spell that would mean his return." After many countless minutes and she did not reply, Willow continued, "You need time to think…I know…I'll just leave you alone for a - " "No," Buffy said promptly as she stood up and walked towards that where she had sat down. "But, what about - " Willow stammered in stupefaction as to how quick she could answer such a decisive question, "Xander…he's gonna be - " "No, Willow, no," she responded as she took the yellow disk from her hand and eyed it as thoughts of Xander filled her mind and anger replaced the sadness in her heart, "I want you to do this spell, that way I can have Angel back…my Angel." ******************* End Part 14 Feedback?!!! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (6/?) by Andrea Date: 29 May 1998 10:28:35 PDT Disclaimers in part one. Comments or complaints to anewbery@hotmail.com Xander's bedroom August 19, 1998 He lay in bed, Whistler's words haunting him. Pictures of the last few years flashing through his mind. Buffy's face as she went to kill Angel. Angel's face as he told him Buffy was dead, that he had no breath to save her. The look in Giles eyes after Ms. Calendar's death. Angel saving Giles, Willow and himself from certain death in the boiler room. Willow's fear when Angel had grabbed her in the hallway. The night after he had lost his soul. Willow's hatred when she found out that he hadn't told Buffy she was trying the curse. The depression that had settled over Buffy like a shroud after Angel had changed. Her face, laughing, as she talked about Angel, and how they weren't slaves to their passion. The fear and determination in her eyes when she thought Spike and Dru would kill Angel. The look on both their faces after she had saved him, in the church. Her words after he had staked Theresa, her horror at what had become of her love. The way he had gone all game face with worry about Buffy when she had gone to the frat party. Angel in the hallway when Buffy was in the hospital. The demon who wanted Buffy to suffer. Buffy's face when he had accused her of wanting to forget Ms. Calendar's death so she could get her boyfriend back. The Angel who had been so worried about Buffy on her birthday. He drifted off to sleep, visions of the Angel who had fought with them, to save the world, to save Buffy interchanging with the Angel who had killed Ms. Calendar and almost destroyed Buffy. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Broken Bonds (Part 8) Date: 29 May 1998 19:15:39 -0400 Title: Broken Bonds (Part 8) Author: Northlight email: uzenet@videotron.ca Thanks: Leslie Summary: Giles disappears and bad things start to happen. Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Angel made his way through the empty halls of the school on silent feet. He was heading towards the library to speak to Giles. 'And seeing Buffy would be a definite plus,' he thought, a small smile curving his lips at the thought of the Slayer. The smile faded as his mind turned back to the matter at hand. There was something happening-- something big. The whole blasted town seemed to throb with pent up energy. It was making Angel edgy, especially since this was one thing that had totally stumped him. The sound of blows emanating from the library caught Angel's attention. He moved towards the door and peeked in through the window. He blinked in surprise at what he saw. As he had expected, Buffy was training. But the man she was sparing with was most assuredly not Rupert Giles. Buffy's eyes were narrowed as she smashed her fist into the padded man's stomach. By the glint in her eyes, Angel could clearly see that she wouldn't have minded pounding her sparring partner without the protection. 'What the Hell's happening here?" the confused vampire wondered as he pushed the door open and slid into the library. He didn't speak, so as not to break his lurking in the dark routine any. He merely waited for Buffy's senses to pick him up. He didn't have long to wait. With a final, sharp jab towards the man's jaw, Buffy swirled around gracefully to face Angel. She smiled at him. Her obvious delight at his presence warmed his scarred and battered heart. "Angel!" His name was said on a sigh of relief as she moved to him. "Who?" Buffy's punching bag questioned with a pained grunt. He looked up, and his dark eyes widening in horror as he saw who it was that stood in the room with them. Angel tensed instinctively as he saw the look in the man's eyes. He had seen that look of total, unreasoning hatred more times than he cared to remember. The man's hand twitched, and a moment later, he was barreling towards the vampire, cross in hand. Angel was prepared. He calmly stepped aside, avoiding both man and cross. "Stop it!" Buffy screamed as Tyler readied himself for another try at Angel. She reached out and snagged the back of his collar. "What do you think you're doing!?" Tyler was snarling as he looked at Angel. "Are you blind, girl?! This creature is a vampire! A demon!" "He's my friend!" Tyler stared at her in horror. "The Slayer -- friends with a vampire?" His lips twisted in disgust, his hand still clenched around the cross. "Slayers are not friends with vampires -- they slay them! Or had that simple fact escaped your notice?" Buffy glared at Tyler, her eyes narrowing angrily at his scornful tone. These days, she found herself becoming angry more often than ever before. "I am quite aware of that fact. But Angel is different. He has a soul, and he's helped me--" "I don't care what he claims, he is a monster! You have to destroy him!" Tyler spat, pulling himself out of Buffy's grip. He pointedly backed away from Angel, his cross still held out before him. "I'm not going to destroy him!" Buffy ground out, "and I'm not going to let you hurt him either. So put the cross away, or I'll do it for you!" Angel, who had been watching the heated exchange between Slayer and 'Watcher' silently up until that moment, finally broke his silence. He turned towards Buffy, one eye still trained on the whacko with the cross. "I think that I'd better leave now, Buffy. I'd rather not have to put you through anymore of his tantrums needlessly." "You came here for a reason, and I have some things that I have to talk to you about. So why don't I go with you, cause I've most definitely had enough of him." "Leave?" Tyler gasped. "With him? I am not going to let you do anything so foolish! Didn't Rupert teach you anything?" Angel growled slightly at Tyler's increasingly enraged tones. He felt Buffy tense at his side, and Angel had to consciously restrain himself from attacking the loud mouthed fool. "Come on, Angel," Buffy said softly. "Let's get out of here." Angel cradled Buffy's trembling hand as they made their way out of the library. She leaned into him, feeling truly safe for the first time since Giles had disappeared. End Part 8 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (29/?) by Ingrid Date: 29 May 1998 20:10:47 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters? They ain’t mine. SUMMARY: Here come the portals… FEEDBACK: I hate feedback. Don’t send it. (Just kidding. - Does anybody ever *not* want feedback? REQUESTS FOR PARTS: Give ‘em here! (Ingrid29@juno.com) NOTE: Hey, I’ve got some time to kill (between projects and recitals) before finals come crashing down on my head. ‘Time to write,’ I always say… ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Twenty-one: "Holes" ********* Cordelia peeked around a tall bush. "Nothing. I don’t see anything." "Me neither," Xander answered, joining her near the closest clump of trees. He could still see the house in the distance, all lit up. He could almost picture the baby inside, in the arms of the sitter, oblivious in sleep. How many gifts did they stand to lose tonight? Suddenly, Cordelia started backwards, snapping him out of his reverie. "There it is!" He followed the aim of her finger, noticing ahead in the clearing something not wholly identifiable. It was large and gold, phosphorescent and shimmering. "Corin!" His wife called the little slayer, who’d been nosing around near the thick patch of trees to their right. She came running up obediently. Cordelia turned to him and nodded. He hesitated. This could be the last time they ever saw this world. He looked around at the lush greenery and listened to the breathing of wind and the crickets together. Then Cordelia tugged at his arm. "We’ve got to hurry," she urged, "Willow said the entrances wouldn’t remain open for a long time. They were jumping into the unknown. They could jump in there only to watch the whole thing over again. Or, Spike could change it all. "Let’s go," he agreed, and took her hand. He closed his eyes, and went first. ~~~~ It didn’t take Buffy and Angel very long to find another portal. Angel had noticed a glow from behind one of the trees, and immediately came upon a giant one, nearly as tall as the trees themselves. She followed close behind, quickly catching up to him. He stepped forward. "Wait!" She grabbed his arm, and spun him to face her. "I know we should hurry, I know, but… If this doesn’t work out the way we planned… I want you to know that I forgave- I forgive you. Seeing him won’t change that." His face was ashen. "I know," he answered simply. "I love you," she offered, watching the shadows play on his face. Then light. "I love you too." He hugged her briefly before stepping into the light. ~~~~ Willow led Giles around the corner of a tree. He felt strange in her presence; mesmerized, somehow. He was following her as if in a trance. She seemed more to drift than to walk, even with the even, measured steps she was taking. And then as he turned the corner, he saw the most beautiful sight he could ever claim to have seen. Willow’s bright hair shone as she turned back to him from afar, and time froze. A light as bright as the sun reflected off her eyes like it would have a light. She was even more vibrant than she’d been inside, almost one with that brilliant light. She beckoned him toward the portal, and he felt it again, as if he wasn’t in control of his own feet. He was floating towards the light, and she disappeared into it gradually. And then he dissolved. *** End, part 21. Okay, yes, a little short. I’m having another mini- block. It’s really crappy. "Birth is merely the onset of a terminal desease known as life." -A.L. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Sapphire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: The 'classics' of Buffyfic... Date: 29 May 1998 21:20:18 PDT I have a little question for you all. If I wanted to teach someone in the ways of Buffyfic, what would the top 10 best buffyfics of all time be to give them to read? Can be long, can be short. Basically I would like to know what you guys think are the 'classics' of the fanfic community, some that you think every buffyficcer should read, and where to find them. Thoughts? Sapphire: sapphire@chaos.taylored.com DC Mailing list; http://www.busprod.com/aclaybor Keeper of Willow's momentary obsession with sore thumbs, Willow's whimper of sadness for her dead fish and her fake frog fit in = KBD Keeper of Dawson's awe of the 'new' Joey and the song 'On My Own' that = Joey sang to Dawson during the pageant. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jessica Dubois Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Rewards of Happiness (1/1) Date: 30 May 1998 13:39:07 -0400 Title: The Rewards of Happiness (1/1) Author: Jessica Dubois E-mail: Jessica.Dubois@sympatico.ca Distribution: Please ask first. It'll be archived eventually at my own site, The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells, Rating: PG Summery: It's a short piece, and mostly fluff. Just read it. Disclaimer: I don't own Willow or Angel or any of the gang. Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, 'Grr Arg' and 'Aw, I Need A Hug' do. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made. Feedback: Yes, please. Author's Note: I've been writing a bunch of these lately. They're aren't really a series, just a set of sorta related stories about Angel and Willow. The Rewards of Happiness By: Jessica Dubois Willow smiled as she realized that everything was coming together. Xander was taking care of refreshments, after being told NOT to only bring Ho-Ho's, Cordelia had entertainment, while Buffy was getting the Bronze prepared. Willow's job was to bring the birthday boy to the Bronze without him figuring out what they were up to. And that wasn't going to be easy... Willow had pried, with a lot of difficulty, Angel's birthday out of Giles. And she had decided that Angel deserved a party. After all, he probably hadn't had one in quite a while... Willow was literally bouncing on her toes as she got to Angel's apartment. It wasn't quite sundown yet, so it would be certain that he was home. She knocked on the door, and, receiving no answer, used the spare key Angel had given her to let herself in. "Angel! You have company!" she yelled. Willow could hear the water running, and assumed he was in the shower, so she sat down to wait, staring intently at his statue. He'd told her what it was of, but she never could remember. Willow smiled yet again as she heard the shower shut off. He was going to be so surprised. Angel was basically her best friend now. Xander didn't really understand her anymore, and Buffy was under so much pressure. She could talk to Angel about anything, and she rarely held back anymore. And she was slowly but surely bringing Angel out of his shell. He had started to really talk to her, and revealed some rather painful memories from his past. Willow guessed that it was inevitable, that the two of them would get to be good friends. They were so similar in some ways... Willow blushed as Angel stepped from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. She squelched that thought, and quickly turned her back to Angel. "I'm sorry, Willow. I guess I didn't hear you come in. What's up?" Willow turned to look at Angel as he shrugged into a shirt. "I'm here to pick you up so that we can go to the Bronze. Remember?" A teasing note entered her voice. "We didn't trust you to show up and actually be seen?" Angel smiled indulgently at Willow. "I remember now. Though I don't see how this is any different from any night." "Well, I guess we were just tired of you playing 'Disappearing Boy', and are taking matters into our own hands." Angel gave Willow a rueful smile, as he slipped his necklace over his head. "We'd better go." Angel stopped, then turned over to his desk. "Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you." He pulled out a leather-bound book. He handed it to her with mock-formality. "The book you requested, Milady." Willow squealed, and grabbed it. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said as she gave Angel a long hug. "You're the greatest!" Angel smiled, then offered her his hand. She delicately took it, and the two headed off for the Bronze. Their talk on the way there was a typical conversation for them. How Willow was doing in school, what was up with the Slayerettes, what Angel had done during the day, whether he was eating enough. Nothing particularly important. The two arrived at the Bronze, and Willow started inside. "Wait." Angel put a hand on her arm. "I don't like this. It's too quiet." "Angel." Angel looked down a Willow. "Do you trust me?" "Of course." Angel said, looking bewildered. "Then come inside." Angel took her hand, and the two entered the Bronze. Angel was walking carefully, and looking about, as the lights suddenly came up, and the gang yelled "SURPRISE!!!" Angel was shocked. And confused. He wasn't sure why they were doing this. He looked at Willow. "It's your birthday today, Angel," she said gently. Angel did some quick calculations in his head, and realized that she was right. He'd completely forgotten. He looked at Willow, then crushed her into a tight hug. "Um, Angel, I sort of have to breathe..." Willow said faintly. Angel pulled back, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry," he said quietly. Willow grinned. "It's OK. All's forgiven." Angel went over to Buffy, and wrapped his arms around lightly her, holding her. He looked at Willow. "Thank you," he said to Willow, his voice catching on some unidentified emotion. "This means a lot to me." Willow grinned from ear to ear, put on a party hat, and blew into a party favor. The mood of the rest of the night was festive. They had gotten the Bronze for the night, (though the fact that Angel was the owner helped a little,) and partied for hours. Angel and Buffy danced while Xander sent cutting glances their way. Willow smiled. Nothing was going to take this night away from Angel. And for a little while, he could forget, and be with Buffy. And that was the greatest reward of all. Angel's happiness. Fin -- "Ours is a forbidden love." - Willow, Lie to Me "She's dancing... Dancing with Death!" - Drucilla, IOHE4U Keeper of Willow's Spellcasting Ability Visit my Site The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/295/index.html ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (23/?) by Ingrid Date: 30 May 1998 22:44:07 -0400 DISCLAIMER: The characters? They ain’t mine. SUMMARY: Back to the past… FEEDBACK: I hate feedback. Don’t send it. (Just kidding. - Does anybody ever *not* want feedback? REQUESTS FOR PARTS: Give ‘em here! (Ingrid29@juno.com) NOTE: Just before the recital… Damn, I should be doing my homework! ********* "Reunion," by Ingrid Part Twenty-three: "History Repeats Itself" ********* The light was slowly receding, and malformed images began to take its place. They were at a street corner, but it was twisted so strangely… The whole place looked like it was melting straight-away. But gradually, it began to reshape itself, and a moving streak of blue was rapidly traveling out of sight around a corner. The familiar blonde hair trailed behind the figure, whipping in the wind of a storm. Could it be a side-effect of the spell? Cordelia looked quickly to her right, and gestured at Xander and Corin to follow her. They wouldn’t have much time. Things would happen quickly and they needed not only to react, but to react with precisely the right moves. Cordelia took off first. Her feet were hitting the pavement hard, but she didn’t hear a sound as they moved silently along as a group. A scream rang out, and then she heard low voices. They rounded the corner like they were running a marathon. Who would be first to get there- to be first to stop this thing… "…have time for this, Dru," They heard from the slayer. A blow followed. It was just a block and a half farther… And then they saw the bleached-haired figure slam into the slayer’s body, throwing her against a wall. She slumped against the storefront for a minute, trying to recover her equilibrium. Spike took the opportunity to snatch the stake away from the girl and prepare to use it against her. They weren’t going to make it, the new watcher thought, until a duplicate Buffy snatched her away. Angel came up from the other side, striking the writhing Drusilla in the chest with a knotty-looking stake. The inhuman wail from Spike shook them all as the dust settled on the sidewalk and gradually blew away. He lunged at the two Buffys, and hit the younger one in the foot with the stake. It brought her back to reality, and she yelped in pain. Reality seemed to flicker in front of Cordelia’s eyes as they reached the bloody scene. Without thinking at all, she jumped onto the vampire’s back. It took him off guard, and they both went tumbling down. Geez- was there something wrong with her eyes? It looked like somebody’d left a strobe light on, and she went right through his body and the pavement cut her face. He was gone. Xander helped her up, and she stood, looking around. "Where’d he go?" Young Buffy was looking around at them all incredulously, alternately focusing her attention on her duplicate, and tending to her wound, which looked really terrible. "Who… What… Angel?" She winced and returned to her injury. "He must have gone to the park. Maybe he can control his location or something," the older Buffy answered. "We have to get there before he stops the ceremony," Angel urged. Then Xander broke in. "Oh my God… We have to finish the ceremony! Buffy had the orb of Thessulah" "Where is it?" Buffy demanded of her duplicate. With a momentary hesitation, she reached into a bag and pulled out the clear sphere continuing to watch them with wide eyes. "Angel?" she repeated. Buffy took it and ran toward the park without looking back. Angel followed, briefly glancing back at the injured Buffy. Cordelia watched them run, torn between staying and leaving. Xander grabbed her hand. "Go," he told her, "I’ll stay." She glanced briefly at Corin and took off as fast as her legs would carry her. *** END, part 23. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (15/?) Date: 31 May 1998 00:34:12 -0700 Name: Chronicles of the White Knight #15 Misgivings Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Please! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: Not really, might have mentioned a past episode. Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creator Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG **************************** Chronicles of the White Knight #15 Misgivings By: Taygeta Xander flew into Willow's room breathless and said, "W-w-willow, have you…seen B-Buffy?" He glanced over to the blonde figure that stood beside her and swallowed, unsure of what to do or what to say. Her eyes fell to the floor and would not meet his at any of his attempts to catch a glance. Willow could feel the tension that grew with every passing second and she felt very out of place in the middle of all of this…unsure as to what exactly was going on. All she knew at that point in time was that she had to get out of the room and they had to stay there, to talk, to yell, to scream…it didn't matter, as long as words were said and the deafening silence ceased. Willow crept slowly away and they glanced at her as she departed, closing the door behind her. The silence continued even after she had left and the tension even worst than before. Buffy made a move to sit in one of the student desks and he followed her lead, sat beside her, and just looked at her. Feeling his throat tighten, he wanted to say so much, but lacked the words to do so. She finally broke the stillness as she glanced at him and said, "Xander, what do you want?" "I want to talk to you, Buffy, to try to explain - " he began feeling a sudden dryness in his mouth. Her eyes met his in anger as she stood up indignantly to interrupt him, "Explain? What is there to explain Xander? Do you want to give me the mechanics on how to give and get major suck face with an ex?" "Buffy, I didn't kiss her…she kissed me," he insisted with an exasperated sigh as he stood up from his seat, "She wanted to get back at me for dumping - " "Last I recall…it takes two to kiss," she replied hotly, "Whatever you have to say…your so-called reasons…I don't want to - " Her words were muffled as Xander took her in his arms and pressed his lips gently against hers. There was some initial hesitation on Buffy's part, but her anger dissolved with every passing second, and thus she relented. She felt what she always felt when he kissed her, as if she could stay there forever. Needless to say, there was much reluctance between the both of them to part, but they did. She smiled as she met his eyes with her own, as did he when he replied, "Buffy, a person can kiss someone and that someone, no matter how much passion and heart that is in it, or what's not in it, may not feel anything from it at all. A kiss is only kiss when everything in it is felt and shared. Believe me, I didn't kiss her…she kissed me, and I felt nothing from it." Buffy sighed, contemplated, and despite her disincline, she slipped out of his embrace, "I - I believe you, Xander, it's j-just that when I saw you…with her, and she was…I - I don't know…I just… I know how much she cared for you, and how much you cared for her, and despite that I think I know what you feel about me, in the back of mind, I - I can't help but think that you two still have something." "First off, to get rid of the 'I think' I heard…I love you, Buffy…to a fault…always have, and I know, even though I'm 17, I'll always will. Whatever comes along, changes us or changes everything else, I'll always have you in my heart," he said reaching out for her hand and placing it on his heart, before he continued, "Secondly, me and Cordy…no…not quite humanly, and I use that word sparingly, possible. Still, wouldn't mind it if she were still my friend, y'know, Cordy's all right, once you get passed her ego, her power trips, and her want of shoes." "Yeah, well, you've got a point…it's kind of weird not having her complain about the dust, the chairs, the vampires, the books…um…everything, during our usual meetings," Buffy retorted, and then she paused. "Wait a minute, are we saying we actually miss…Cordy?" Xander raised his eyebrows and said, "That's a new concept…missing Cordelia…are you sure that…never mind. Can we just not talk about Cordy, right now?" "Right," she replied as she walked towards him, he put his arms around her, and her thoughts drifted to the yellow disk, "We have to talk about us…I have to tell-" "But didn't we just go through the whole…we talking about us thing?" he responded, "Y'know the whole 'kiss-and-makeup' scenario." "Admittably…yeah, but, uh, that 'kiss' part…" she touched her index finger against her lips before pressing it softly on his, the memory of the yellow disk had drifted away temporarily, "I don't know it's kind of like a hazy memory." "Well…I think I can probably solve…" he began, but before he knew it, their lips met and there were no misgivings in that kiss. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 28) Date: 31 May 1998 10:47:19 -0700 Charlotte Sometimes (part 28) (Violence Warning!) Drusilla sat in the kitchen, simultaneously pacing back and forth until her body became too tired to be so nerve racked. This was madness! Why would anyone hurt them? Her parents.. Her mother, her sweet Isabelle. Why her Father? What have they done? What horror could they have wronged to deserve this torture? Why was she so certain that mother was going to die? There was no way of knowing, Isabelle may have left on her own will, gone off for awhile to heal, or be alone to mourn. Drusilla's head fell down on the table as she began to cry again. Why was this happening? What had she done? ~ He shoved the now unconscious Isabelle to the ground. It'd been hell but he'd managed to drag her kicking, screaming, sobbing, and passing out all the way to his loves house. She gurgled something incoherent that his vampire senses couldn't quiet catch, and he bent down to reach her height - exciting Isabelles worn out nerves she began to scream hysterically. "Now, calm down Isabelle," He hissed at her, clasping his hand to her mouth "I don't want you to upset your princess." ~ Her head shot up. "Mum?" Her voice sounded much more timid than she would have liked, but that didn't matter now. Her mother did. It was her mother that mattered now She wasn't delusional. She'd heard Isabelle's voice. Drusilla jumped up from her lazy position at the table, ignoring the fact that she should call for the sheriff who was up sleeping in the guest bed. If it was Isabelle... She'd have to hurry! She had to get to her mother! Drusilla's tired body tried to work up the strength to run as she slammed open the front door. The air was amazing as it hit her senses. It held it's own fear and adrenaline. The wind was whispering to her as she ran out unto the porch, it told her to stay back, there was danger, something far stronger than she could handle. Her eyes searched for the voice, for the area it'd came from. Faster she bolted into the night, right towards the woods. "Mother?!" Drusilla screamed out, searching. ~ Angelus' ears caught her voice. "Shh.." He whispered to Isabelle. He stared at her for a moment, not believing for one moment that she would be still if he were to take his hand off her mouth. No matter, he thought as she smacked her on the side of the head. He'd had his fun, now it was Dru's turn "Be good" he whispered. ~ She was running blindly right towards them. Her eyes had easily caught site of Isabelle's broken body, and she franticly ran towards her dying mother shaking as her feet touched the ground. Angelus stood after her, easily keeping up with her mortals running pace. He grabbed her slim waist right behind her. ~ Shock flooded through Drusilla's mind as she flew backwards, spinning both her captor and herself with the varsity she'd been running at. Drusilla's body ended up tumbling, with little more than a frantic scream, as her assaulter bent down to pick her. His arms gently lifted her, lying to her. Telling her it was alright, telling her to be still.. She jumped away from him, trying to run away, far from him, but only managing to land herself back on the dirt floor. She screamed for help, as she franticly tried to unhook her shoes from her dress, until she realized who her assaulter had been. ~ Angelus looked down at his Drusilla. It took him a moment to realize it was 3am and he'd most likely waken her from a slumber. But that was no excuse She looked like hell had frozen over. Her hair was in large clumped tangles and he'd never seen such dark lines under anothers eyes. She'd been crying, a lot. A stab of pain went through him as she looked into his eyes. She looked incredibly lost. He helped her stand ~ "Mother!" She told Angelus as helped her stand. "I heard her! I saw her" She took a running jump towards the area she'd seen Isabelle's body, only to find herself crashed into Angelus' arms. Pain shot up from her ankle, stabbing at her nerves forcing her to fall. She looked up at Angelus with pleading eyes. "I saw her" She whispered "We have to go to her" ~ He was tempted for a moment to take her there. How sweet she must taste - her blood laced with such pure terror. But alas, he had bigger plans. And as much as he hated to waist such beautiful blood he wanted more of her than a mere midnight snack. He held her hand and lifted her from the ground. ~ She gasped as a sudden coldness went through her body. She could feel death, it was encircling around her, and she never suspected for one moment it had a thing to do with the mans arms that intertwined her own. As he held her up, she caught hold of her senses and there her mother lay. Beaten and bruised and dying! She wrestled her way out of Angelus's arms and fell next to her mother. "Mum.. Mum" She lightly shook Isabelles body, barely afraid to touch her. She was so fragile. She might break if Drusilla tried to wake her! "Answer me" She screamed at her mother. She collapsed over her mothers body crying. She'd failed. ~ He looked at her then, unsure if he should be mourning inside or cheering. He found neither to suite his fancy and looked back towards the house, watching as the men came. Angelus sighed. "I have to go" he told her, though she didn't hear him. She didn't hear anything as she lay there hysterically sobbing and screaming. "But I'll be back" He promised her, and gave one last look towards the men running heading after Drusilla's screams. He sighed. He'd kill them too for ruining his moment. -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Zorina Alexe Kerina Skye" Subject: BUFFYFIC: To Walk Alone {prologue] edited and updated Date: 31 May 1998 16:39:14 PDT Title: To Walk Alone Part: Epilogue Spoilers through Becoming Part II Author: Zorina Alexe Skye Authors E-mail: zorina@dreamscape.com or zorina-skye@geocities.com Authors notes: As was asked of me I had this edited and added to it and changed it around a little. SLB: Thanx for the nagging, I think you make a great editor, you sound just like Krys, maybe someday I'll have the pleasure of working with you off BBETA. Content: Buffy, Angel focus despite the lack of appearance in the beginning of Angel and all the Slayerettes, Giles, Kendra and Joyce Suggested listening: 'Uninvited' Alanis Morisette or 'Angel' and 'Waiting' Sarah McLauchlan Disclaimers: I'm going to college this fall, I think that means for the next twenty years or so I'm gonna be in debt, and well, according to by-laws if I'm not making money then you shouldn't have any gripes. Joss, WB and Mutent Enemy own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the new Angel series. Of course those characters will be making an appearance. Prologue "Under a blackened sky far beyond the glaring streetlights sleeping on empty dreams the vultures lie in wait." -Sarah McLauchlan The sun had set hours ago and the stars above blazed brilliantly as the bus traveled through the state of Arizona. No cities for miles, only desert, and the sky was brilliant. Unintentionally she wished *he* was here with her but she destroyed that thought and allowed a wave of guilt to wash over her. Angel, her Angel, not the monster that had been inside of him, had finally come back to her and she had held him in her arms in a moment of joy until she realized it was too late. Willow had been too late, she hadn't stopped Angelus in time, behind him the vortex was spinning and growing. She wanted to scream but she didn't instead she kissed him and told him to close his eyes. She didn't cry again, she wouldn't let herself cry again, not even now that she had gone so far to, just to get away. She couldn't sleep, when she closed her eyes she could only see him, an imaged burned in her mind. His eyes ad flashed open and showed the betrayal he felt, he reached out for her and called her name but she couldn't help him. She only stood and watched has Acathla took him to hell. In the silence of night, on that bus, she heard him calling for her over and over again. "Why?" She asked herself. Why hadn't Xander told her to try to hold him off as long as she could. She could have done anything it would have taken to have saved him if she had known that they were trying again to bring him back. She swallowed hard and her hands formed two fists and her nails bit into her skin leaving angry welts. She looked down at her hands and her mouth opened as a silent whimper escaped. The blood... Kendra, the only person in the world who could have understood, Kendra was gone. It was her fault and she knew her death would be on her conscience forever. In the distance city lights left a amber glow on the horizon. She assumed that it was Phoenix, there they would stop and she'd call Willow. Well she'd call willow collect, she didn't have money to spare. She watched as Phoenix got closer and closer and she couldn't help but feel some sort of anticipation. She had to let them know, well at least Giles, Willow, Xander, Cordy and Oz where she was. Besides they deserved to know what had happened, she wouldn't tell them where she was but they should know she was okay... well maybe not okay but she could do the okay thing. They bus stopped at a station and she knew they would layover for some time. "Two hours folks." The man said gruffly. She stood and stretched her legs before joining the flood of people escaping the tattered vehicle. She waited for an available phone. Then she stared at it like it was a demon she needed to conquer. "You can do this Buffy, it's Willow, Willow.." She dialed 0 and waited. "Thank you for using AT&T." "I'd like to place a collect call." She said steadily. "The number please?" Buffy recited Willows number like a mantra including area code twice for the operator. "Who are you calling for?" She asked. "Willow Rosenberg." "And who is calling please?" "Buffy..." "Ohh my God! It's Buffy! Yes of course I'll take the call...!" Squealed her voice. "Buffy it's Buffy? Will you sure?" Xander had asked her. Willow hushed him. "Will? I thought I should let you know I'm fine..." "Buffy where are you , you weren't in school today." Willow asked. "Snyder expelled me..." "Ohh Buffy I'm so sorry... where are you everyone's worried..." "Will, my mom through my out and theres something I have to do." "Buffy you should come home, where are you?" "Doesn't matter Will, I don't want anyone coming after me and that was something I needed to tell you." "Buffy what happened...." Willow asked softly. "I killed him Will... out of no where I had my Angel again, my Angel.. and he trusted me... I killed him..." "What do you mean you killed him? Didn't Xander tell you we were trying again?" Willow sounded angry. "No he.. didn't.. he awakened Acathla and I had to kill him..." "Oh my God.. noo..." Willow moaned. "Will I have to find the book..." "Book which book?" "The Grimmorah, I have to find it because I know it has the spells we need to get him back..." "But Buffy the Watchers lost track of the Grimmorah during the crusades you know that!" "But we also know that the gargoyles protected the Grimmorah and that there have been sightings around the world. I'll seek out each clan if I have to, I'm gonna get him!" She slammed the phone down and walked away. She had no idea where she would even start... she looked at the news stand next to her to see an image of a castle raised above the clouds. "After three years the Castle of Stone still stands as world head quarters for Xanatos industries......." The castle would be the perfect place to start, it seemed familiar to her some and Xanatos industries... didn't her dad take a job with them some time ago, wasn't it just after spring fling he had moved to New York? She made her way back to the bus it would be quite some time before the bus would get to Manhattan, she'd originally planned to go there and use what was left of her savings to get her to England. She nodded to herself as she boarded the bus and plopped back down into her seat. Not much time had passed when a girl her age crashed into the seat next to her and began to sob. "I am not ... I won't be.... I don't care about destiny!" She wailed softly. Buffy looked at her and sensed there was something different about her... she gave her the wiggins just as Kendra had the first time they had met. She rested her hand on the girls shoulder and she looked up. "Won't help.." She whispered... "You can't run away from destiny, I know I've tried..." "What are you talking about?" The girl stuttered. "You're just like I was when Merrick came to me." She shrugged off her sweater and pulled the collar of her tank low enough to reveal the top of the mole on her chest. "How?" Buffy wondered that herself. How in the billions of people in this world she would come across Kendra's replacement as she passed through Phoenix. "I died some time last spring and they were able to save me... but last night... Kendra... she was called as my replacement.... she was killed... I never thought in a million years I'd meet the next Slayer again." "You mean that it's not a story? She was telling the truth?" Buffy nodded. "My name is Cora, Cora Scott." "Cora, name is Buffy Sommers." "It's nice to know that despite the fact they said there was only one that I'm not totally alone." "How old are you Cora?" Buffy asked. "Fourteen." Buffy flinched. "You?" "I'll be seventeen soon." "So why you running?" Cora asked, her green eyes wide as she seemed to worship the older slayer beside her. "It's a long story..." "Will you tell me?" Asked Cora. She swallowed hard and did. Zori Like, anyone worthy I am flatered by your facination with me, Like, a hot blooded women I have simply wanted object to crave. But you, your not alone, your univited, unfortunate isss like... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (7/?) by Andrea Date: 31 May 1998 17:27:07 PDT Chapter seven. Disclaimers in part one. Feedback is greatly appreciated to anewbery@hotmail.com And thanks to Rachel for helping me with this. Willow's motel room August 21, 1998 Quietly opening the bathroom door Buffy glanced into the room, when Willow didn't turn she carefully slipped past the door and stood there. Watching Willow set the table, marveling at how normal her actions were. Four plates, four knives, four of everything. It was all so neat, so ordered, so different from the reality they lived in. From the chaos she had subjected them all to. She lingered in the doorway, grateful to be in the room with Willow, without seeing the worry in Willow's eyes, worry that appeared whenever Willow looked at her. The same worry she could see in all of their faces. They tried so hard to cover it, but that only made it worse. She could see it in their eyes, in the stiffness of their movements. They were watching everything she did so carefully, making her afraid she would take a misstep. Every word, every expression had to be so carefully thought out, its effect on them considered. She had damaged them enough, she wouldn't add any more. Smiling slightly she leaned against the door frame and listened to Willow hum under her breath as she set everything in its place. Plates neatly set, forks on one side, knives on the other, napkins neatly folded. Willow checked her watch and then begin placing the food in the middle of the table. From the amount she set Buffy assumed Giles and Oz would soon be returning. Buffy held her breath then expelled it softly. Almost time to face them again. She leaned against the doorframe wanting to take these last few minutes to observe Willow. Knowing that as soon as Willow noticed her everything would change. The frown would appear on Willow's brow. Her eyes would cover with worry, shoulders would slump. Her stomach rolling she wondered what she had done to them. Watching the sunlight catch on Willow's hair she questioned why Willow still seemed so innocent, so undamaged by everything that had happened. When she had been at her darkest point, when the pain of what she had done had been unbearable she had reached out to Willow. Knowing even then, in her darkest moments, that Willow would find her, that Willow would help her, with no expectations or blame. Closing her eyes and feeling her own rage boiling inside her she wished she could be that noble. It was all too easy for her to place blame, to rage against the world. As she finished setting out the dishes Willow turned and saw her standing in the doorway. Watching the anxiety reappear on her face, Buffy wondered if she had been wrong. Maybe Willow was the least innocent of them. Maybe she accepted the bad things so much better because she expected them. Stepping into the room she fixed her smile in place, needing to take the look of fear off Willow's face. For a moment a slight tinge of anger ran through her. She was so grateful to them for coming for her, for helping her find her feet, but at the same time she felt their rush, their need for her to be the slayer again. They wanted her to just get over it. Thinking they could tell her what she did was okay and she would be fine. Walking over to the table she realized they just didn't understand. They had no idea of the nightmare she had been living these last few months. The black hole she had fallen in to. And in some ways they didn't want to know. They needed her to be the strong one, the one who led them. Sitting down in one of the chairs she poured herself a cup of coffee. Realizing she didn't have any right to burden them anymore with her guilt and regrets. They had helped her climb out of the black hole she had been living in, now it would be up to her. Willow was staring at her, waiting for something, looking scared. Buffy mentally checked herself, clothes were on, smile was in place, hair brushed. Smiling brightly at Willow, she spoke. "Talking, we should be talking. Sorry, I haven't talked to many people in the last few months. I guess I'm out of practice." Picking up a piece of toast, she eyed the room, she had been to out of it last night to notice anything about her surroundings. It was just like every low cost motel room she had stayed in, but at least it was clean. She toyed with the toast, breaking in into small pieces and laying it on her plate. Willow fluttered around her, pouring her some juice, smiling brightly. But her movements were rushed, her shoulders tense. She watched Willow open her mouth to speak then close it. Her face betraying her nervousness, as she kept glancing at the pieces of toast Buffy had put on her plate. Noticing Willow's agitation she forced the toast down her throat not wanting to upset her anymore. Suddenly tired, she wondered, was this how it was going to be. Everyone watching to see if she was okay. Poor Buffy, she sent her boyfriend to hell, isn't that sad. But she wasn't okay the voice in her head was screaming. She could never be okay again. The part of her that was okay had gone into the vortex with Angel. Now she just had a gaping hole inside her. Realizing her hands were clenching the side of the table she let go. Not wanting to worry Willow any more than she already had. Opening her mouth she tried to speak, tried to think of something to say that would make sense. "I want to go home." She sat, as stunned as Willow looked, at the words that had come from her mouth. Did she really want to go back? To her mother, school, the law? And Angel, the memories would be so strong there. Taking a deep breath she waited for Willow's response. "Home?" Willow looked stunned, stepping backwards, her look quickly changing to fear. She tried unsuccessfully to cover it with a fake smile. "Yes, Sunnydale, the Hellmouth, remember?" Leaning forward in her chair, she felt her body tense. Willow's reaction was not right. Her stomach clenched, what terrible thing had happened while she had been gone. How many new deaths were her responsibility? Feeling the darkness beckoning her she pushed it back. No more running, she had to face this head on. But Willow wasn't answering her, instead she was checking the plates, fiddling with the utensils. Sighing Buffy stood and walked over to her, tried to look into her eyes. Willow immediately broke the eye contact, dropping the spoon she had been holding. Willow tried unsuccessfully to smile at her, failing she turned and scurried away, knocking over a chair in her hurry to escape. Mumbling something about seeing what was holding up Giles and Oz she rushed from the room. Buffy watched her retreat with a sinking feeling, staring at the door Willow had escaped through. Fighting down her own urge to escape, to run out the door and never look back. The time for running had passed so she sat back down at the table. Picking up a fork she played with a plate of scrambled eggs that Willow had set out. Concentrating on remaining calm, on remaining in the moment she wondered what horrible thing had happened in her absence. Stupid, stupid, stupid, the word echoed through her mind. What had she been thinking? She hadn't been, that was her problem. It always was her problem. Letting the fork drop on the plate she stood, unable to be still. Pacing around the room she berated herself. What had she caused this time? She laughed, the sound bitter and hollow in the empty room, had she really thought killing a few vampires in LA would make everything okay in Sunnydale. Would she ever get this right? It wasn't about her, it never was. It was duty, her duty. Her duty to guard the Hellmouth. Her duty to kill Angel as soon as he had lost his soul. But no, she had wanted Angel back. And she had wanted to lose herself in the pain of betraying him. Feeling the tears coming she fought them back. Pacing rapidly around the room, a lioness in a cage, she fought to block her emotions. The time for self-pity was over. She had made her choices, now she would live with them. Hearing the doorknob turn she spun around to face them. Plastering a calm face back on she smiled at them as they entered the room. Giles looked disheveled as if he had dressed rapidly and his hair was dripping still. Willow looked, if anything, more nervous than before. Oz stood beside Willow, his hand on her arm. Giles cleared his throat, moving closer to where she stood. Her mind raced she waited for someone to speak. No one did, Willow and Giles just kept looking at each other, then back at her. Realizing she would have to start the conversation, she wished, just once, that they didn't need her to be the leader. "What is it?" She stared at their faces, seeing no sadness. Wondering why, she hoped that meant that no one had actually died. Giles began, stumbling over his words, "Um...Well...Um, you see..." Breaking in, unable to deal with his hesitation she directed her question to Willow. "What? Am I still wanted for murder?" Willow looked shocked, "No, No. Of course not." "Then...what?" Taking a deep breath to calm the anger she felt rising. Her hands clenched at her sides. Did they really think hesitating would make their news better?" "Buffy..." Willow looked at her, her eyes pleading for patience. Reaching out she grabbed Buffy's hands and held them tightly. Her face was a mixture of pity and fear. Buffy felt her stomach roll, the toast sitting heavily, "My mother." Pausing to take a deep breath she whispered, "She doesn't want me back?" "God, no. Buffy..."Willow said, upset that she hadn't told her about her mother earlier. "I...We talked to your mother. She...She, well she believes now. She wants you home. She misses you. She is so sorry for what happened between you." "She was just being a mom. A clueless mom, but then again, how many mothers get to see their daughter turn someone to dust right in front of them? She must be so proud." Her bitterness seeped through her words. Collecting herself she smiled at them, letting them think her sense of humor was returning. Suddenly a thought occurred to her. Smiling at them she was sure she knew what had them so upset. She pulled her hands away from Willow and walked away from them, back to the table. Throwing the words over her shoulder as she walked away. "Oh. The thing were I was expelled. No biggie. Herr Synder already shared that news with me." Picking up her coffee she took a sip. And another, when she still got no response she turned back to them. They were still just standing there, Willow standing so close to Oz, Giles rocking back and forth. The same expressions on their face. Her shoulders tensed again. She wanted to yell at them to just say it. Nothing could be that bad. She had sent her boyfriend to hell, what could top that. Looking at the floor Giles began again, "No. It's not that. We...We can deal with that at some o-other time. We..." Willow watched Giles, unable to take the tension any longer. Interrupting him she spoke the words quickly. "Xander knew." Her voice held just the slightest touch of hysteria. Buffy looked at her, feeling the floor ripping away underneath her feet once more. Fighting to keep her face calm she stalled for time. Please don't let it have anything to do with what she had done. Please don't let it have anything to do with Angel. "Knew what?" Taking a deep breath, trying to slow her suddenly racing pulse. Please no, please no, kept running through her head like a prayer. "Everything." Willow's voice broke. Looking straight at Buffy she began to cry, the tears running silently down her face. Buffy felt her heart stop, then resume. She walked closer to Willow, reaching out, softly brushing the tears away. Concentrating on keeping her voice even she spoke. "About?" Trying to give herself more time until she had to respond. Xander had known, when she saw him, he had known. She didn't want to know this. She wanted to scream at them to stop. Beg them to keep this secret from her. "About the curse. About what I was doing." The words tumbled out of Willows mouth as she leaned against Oz for support. " I sent him to tell you. So you could stall. He didn't. I'm sorry." Willow was sobbing now, her face buried into Oz's shoulder. Buffy stood there, thinking she should feel something, anything. There was nothing there. The black hole begged her to come, but she just stood there frozen. She swallowed, felt a tic begin in her jaw muscle. She couldn't respond to what they had said. Stepping away she distanced herself from them. She wandered slowly around the room. The anger she felt towards Xander pulsed through her, but it wasn't real. It settled into the hole left inside her when Angel had been taken to hell. She knew they were watching her, so she walked over by the bed. Turning to face them she sat down. Not knowing what response they wanted from here she began, "Oh." "Are you...are you okay? Aren't you mad?" Willow's face was puzzled. Giles just stood there, rocking back and forth, his face a mask of pity. Looking at her and then to Giles she spoke, "Mad? Why?" Realizing that although the words she would speak may be true she didn't believe them. She was somewhere beyond mad. Feeling every emotion she had ever held for Xander crystallizing into hatred. Using that hatred to cover the wound left in her soul. Used it to hold the rest of her emotions in check. A small part of her mind rebelled, knowing that all anger and hatred directed at Xander was really hers. She deserved this. She pushed the voice away. Closing her eyes she let Xander's betrayal wash over her. Wondering if this was what Angel felt when she betrayed him. Wondering why she was so surprised at Xander's actions. Betrayer, now the betrayed, it was only fair. Xander's actions only served to magnify the horror of her betrayal of Angel. Nothing felt real, the new pain added to the old was just too much. She just felt cold, empty, dead. Knowing they were waiting for her words she spoke them. "What's that saying?" Pausing, she took a breath and continued. " What goes around, comes around." Her voice felt heavy, the effort it took to speak almost too much. " I betrayed, I was betrayed. Isn't that how it's supposed to go?" Her head swam with visions of Xander telling her, of a reality in which she hadn't sent Angel to hell. Putting her hands to her face to block the visions she continued, " I betrayed Angel. Xander betrayed me. It's fair, don't you think?" Looking up to see Giles and Willow watching her with worried expressions. She smiled, hiding her pain, needing them to let this subject die. She carefully got up from the bed, afraid her numbness would slip and she would begin screaming again. She headed towards the bathroom, finishing her speech as she walked, "I guess in a way Xander betrayed Angel too. Funny, we have something in common." Reaching the bathroom she grabbed the door handle, telling herself that she could do this, she just needed to be alone for a minute. She shut the door behind her, leaving them watching her speechless. Leaning back against the door she breathed deeply for a minute, feeling as though she had just successfully walked through a minefield. Leaning against the door, she could hear them discussing her. Giles telling Willow that she was just in denial, that eventually the anger would come. She snorted, almost laughed at the thought. She wasn't denying anything. She knew exactly what Xander did, exactly how much his decision had cost her. She just couldn't afford to let it matter. She had made the mistake of following her emotions one too many times. She was the slayer. That was her only priority now. Hurting Xander wouldn't bring Angel back, nothing could. Walking to the sink she splashed cold water on her face, practicing her smile as she looked into the mirror. She dried her face, hands and turned to leave the bathroom, hesitating for a moment as her hand grabbed the handle. Making sure she felt numb enough she opened the door and walked confidently into the room. She calmly asked them if they were ready to head back yet, when they said they were she relaxed a little. She would be back on guard at the Hellmouth soon. She began questioning Willow about her summer, Oz about his band. She even asked Giles if he had gotten any new books lately and listened to his answer. Determined not to let them see what this cost her. They wanted the old Buffy back, and she was determined to give her to them. She ignored the funny looks they gave her and the hesitation in their words until they finally relaxed and believed her. She continued the conversation as they checked out of the motel, barely giving them any time for thought. She couldn't take the chance they would try to bring up Angel. Or Xander. She needed time, the cover she had put on her emotions would only hold for so long. She wanted to be alone when she finally broke, she owed them that. They had done enough for her already. Walking to the van she even joked with Giles about his choice of rentals. Talking with Oz about his plans for the next year got her twenty miles away from Los Angeles. The look in his eyes telling her he understood what she was doing. Turning she spoke to Giles about getting started training again. He glanced over at her, his expression taunt, then relaxed. He would give her time. Making plans to get started soon, she wanted to be in top form when the next new evil settled in Sunnydale. Talking about different fighting techniques and new weapons she wanted to work got them almost all the way to Sunnydale. To Willow, she asked her about her computer stuff, nodding at her answers, only half listening. Ignoring the mute plea on Willow's face, to say more, to tell her what she was feeling, to talk about Xander's actions. Unable to answer it she turned away. Feeling her heart beat louder in her ears as they drove closer to Sunnydale. She managed to keep the conversation going until they reached the Sunnydale city limits, her voice fading away as they passed the welcome sign at the edge of town. Her stomach churned, she was back, surrounded again by memories of Angel, back in the place were she had betrayed him. Her heart began to race as the memory of what she had done began to play in her head. She stared straight ahead, refusing to even blink her eyes. Her fingers tapped continually on the dashboard. Counting the taps she let the sound and the numbers fill her mind until the panic faded away along with the memories. A bitter smile flitted across her face then was quickly hidden. Smiling bravely for the benefit of the other occupants of the van she counted the seconds until she was home, away from their eyes. ***** ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Sapphire" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: W/A fanfic wanted... Date: 31 May 1998 22:18:59 PDT I just read 'Friendship' by Melissa Dawney, and now I can't get that pesky Willow/Angel combo out of my head. I read one by Anya, but does anyone know of any other good Willow/Angel stories? Sapphire: sapphire@chaos.taylored.com DC Mailing list; http://www.busprod.com/aclaybor Keeper of Willow's momentary obsession with sore thumbs, Willow's whimper of sadness for her dead fish and her fake frog fit in = KBD Keeper of Dawson's awe of the 'new' Joey and the song 'On My Own' that = Joey sang to Dawson during the pageant. "First off, a policy statement: I would pay cash money to watch Duchovny = read from the phone book" - Caryn Weiner, movie reviewer. EW. Amen sister. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: W/A fanfic wanted... Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:01:54 -0400 I had started posting my W/A fic 'Torn Between Two Lovers' to the Buffy-Beta and Willfic list before I joined the Buffyfic list. It's still a work in progress, but not too far from completetion. I'll post parts 1-5 tonight. Parts six and seven are almost ready to post and I'm in the middle of part eight. I hope you'll enjoy it. Dreamscape205 Sapphire wrote: > I just read 'Friendship' by Melissa Dawney, > and now I can't get that pesky Willow/Angel combo > out of my head. I read one by Anya, but does anyone > know of any other good Willow/Angel stories? > > Sapphire: sapphire@chaos.taylored.com > DC Mailing list; http://www.busprod.com/aclaybor > Keeper of Willow's momentary obsession with sore thumbs, > Willow's whimper of sadness for her dead fish and her fake frog fit in KBD > Keeper of Dawson's awe of the 'new' Joey and the song 'On My Own' that Joey > sang to Dawson during the pageant. > "First off, a policy statement: I would pay cash money to watch Duchovny read > from the phone book" - Caryn Weiner, movie reviewer. EW. Amen sister. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: BUFFYFIC: Torn Between Two Lovers 1/? Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:04:35 -0400 TITLE: Torn Between Two Lovers 1/? AUTHOR: Dreamscape205 EMAIL: Angelus@mediaone.net DISTRIBUTION: Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's Fanfic site. Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit, and email me with the URL I can find it archived. SUMMARY: A new love...or two... in Willow's life RATING: PG-13 TYPE: UTB SPOILERS: none that I know of... DISCLAIMER: BtVS and its character's belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. No infringements intended! Author's Note: text enclosed in < > represent thoughts and feelings. Part one (a) BUDAPEST, HUNGARY 1799 < How long has it been since she was taken from me so tragically? > He turned from the portrait of his beloved that he had been staring at to gaze out into the darkness of a nearby window. He reflected on the wife he had adored, and glanced back at the painting. Her beauty had been immeasurable, as if she had been sculpted by an artist. The auburn hair, those eyes that held nothing but love, her soft skin, the hands that reached out to him to save her life. He had failed her. And he had never loved again. < Someday... > SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA 1998 Willow Rosenberg woke with anticipation. < Ooh, the first day of school! > She loved school and could not understand why everyone didn=92t share her enthusiasm. She recalled her conversation with Buffy on the phone the previous night as she busied herself getting ready for school. The phone rang, as she was about to arrange all her new supplies into her book bag. She dropped it onto her bed and hopped over to her desk to grab the phone. "Hey, Will! Whatcha doin=92?" Came Buffy=92s voice as Willow held the receiver to her ear. "Just getting my school supplies ready for tomorrow. And you?" "Talking to you!" Buffy quipped. Willow smiled and let out a laugh, "Ooh, funny!" She heard Buffy sigh on the other end of the line. "I=92m not really looking forward to tomorrow, but I=92ll deal." A voice telling her breakfast was ready brought Willow back to the present day. Willow descended the stairs and headed for the kitchen, where breakfast waited for her. "Thanks, mom," she said, sitting at the table. Mrs. Rosenberg kissed the top of her daughter=92s head. "You have a great day, dear. I=92m off to work. =91Bye, now." "=92Bye, mom!" Willow turned her thoughts back to Buffy. < I guess she gets tired of the way the faculty rides her about grades and attendance. Honestly, if they all knew just what she did for all of them, every day of her life... > "They should graduate her with honors!" She finished out loud. It really bothered her that her friend was always under so much pressure from all sides. Willow cleared the table and headed to school. The walk to Sunnydale High School wasn=92t too long, but she had time to ponder over the events of the summer. Willow had stayed in Sunnydale to attend a summer course in advanced computer programming, while Buffy and Xander went on a two-month vacation. Buffy=92s father had overseas business that took him to France. Since summer vacation was the time Buffy=92s father had custody, it was a given that Buffy would accompany him. Buffy originally had asked her to go, but her parents had already paid for the course, and the money was non-refundable. So, Buffy asked Xander. His immediate reaction was jumping up and down; doing some kind of odd "monkey dance" that had both girls laughing until they cried. Xander=92s mother offered no protest, so the plans were made. It bothered Willow that Xander would be spending so much time with Buffy, knowing how he felt about her, but there really wasn=92t anything she could do about it. Buffy wanted a companion with her; she didn=92t want to "do France" alone. A smile appeared on her face as she remembered Giles=92 reaction to Buffy=92s trip. "Bloody hell! It=92s bad enough when you just spend the summer in Los Angeles. France is a lot further away than that!" His concern was clearly written all over his face. "What am I supposed to do if some crisis erupts?" Buffy just flashed him her patented smile, "Oh, Giles! You know the summer=92s always so dull in Sunnydale! The vampires can=92t handle the heat!" Buffy giggled a little, "and besides, you=92ll be fine! You=92ve always got Angel, Ms. Calendar and Willow to help you! Oh, and there=92s always Cordelia...I heard her vacation plans were cancelled due to family sickage." Giles rolled his eyes, "Oh, what a comfort!" He didn=92t bother protesting further. It was a moot point, the Slayer was leaving. < It=92s not like I can tell Mr. Summers that his daughter is the Vampire Slayer and needs to be where the vampires are! > A week later Willow was without her two constant companions. Odd that the person she spent the most time with was Angel. Her course had been at night. When Giles heard that, he immediately picked up the phone and contacted Angel. "Uh...hello. This is Giles...Rupert Giles. I need your assistance." There was a brief pause, then Giles spoke into the receiver again, "It appears Willow is taking a night class at a local community college. I was hoping you would be free to escort her. If you wouldn't mind?" Giles" concern touched Willow deeply, but she was far too timorous to impose on Angel in such a way. "Oh, no, Giles! Please tell Angel you made a mistake. Ill be just fine!" "Just a moment, Angel." Giles held the phone to his chest. "Don't be foolish. It is far too unwise to walk alone at night in Sunnydale. You, for one, should understand that." He shook his head when he noticed she was about to offer further protest. He resumed his conversation on the phone. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" It wasn't long before the receiver was once again in its cradle. He turned to Willow with a smile, "Angel said he would be more than happy to help you out. He said he would not be able to live with himself if something happened to you." Willow recalled the surprise she felt when Giles told her of Angel's sentiment. It gave her a warm feeling all over. It was nice to have someone care about you. Although why Angel cared, she wasn't sure. He was always "Buffy's friend". He rarely spoke to anyone else, except in time of need. Although, lately, she recalled catching Angel staring at her. But, she was too shy to ask him why he was doing it. So, for two nights a week, Angel was her personal bodyguard. She hated to admit it, but she enjoyed the attention. Although she wasn't comfortable with the situation, the looks of envy she received from her classmates were treasured. She was not used to being in the position of someone else's envy. It was usually the other way around. That was the extent of Angel's presence in her life for the first two weeks. By the third week, she and Angel were arranging get-togethers. He had a newly found interest in computers, and asked her for help with some new contraption he had acquired. She remembered laughing to herself when he showed her this "contraption", which turned out to be the latest, top-of-the-line model. By the fourth week, they spend almost every evening together. They had told each other things they told no one else. Angel had asked her what her relationship was with Xander. She wrinkled her nose, "We've been best friends since we were small children. I'm afraid it's never become more than that. Xander can't see past Buffy, and he considers me like a sister." She shrugged, "What can you do? I've been holding on to a dream that he'll wake up and notice me, but I'm tired of waiting." She hung her head, her hair falling forward, covering her face. Angel reached out, placing his fingertips under her chin. "He is a fool. Any man, who can not see the beauty in you, is blind!" He gently lifted her head, until they were looking into each other's eyes. She was taken aback by the brilliance in his. < Gorgeous > His sincerity was heartwarming. She offered him a small smile. In an effort to offer her some comfort, and let her know he knew how she felt, Angel told her of his last conversation with Buffy. Buffy had told him that she had decided that she could only see him as a friend. She had a duty to perform, and she didn't want her feelings for him to get in the way. They would always be friends, but that was all it could be. The ultimate brush-off. He said he had known it was coming. She had been cool towards him for quite awhile. Poor Angel...so alone. < Except for me. > They had become fast friends. She was amazed at how easily he fit into her world. She found herself looking forward to hearing from him in any form...be it in person, by phone or computer. Reality drifted among her thoughts, and she noticed she was near the school. She looked forward to seeing Buffy and Xander. She, however, was not expecting to see them locked in a passionate embrace! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: BUFFYFIC: Torn Between Two Lovers 2/? by Dreamscape205 Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:06:11 -0400 TITLE: Torn Between Two Lovers 2/? AUTHOR: Dreamscape205 EMAIL: Angelus@mediaone.net DISTRIBUTION: Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's Fanfic site. Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit, and email me with the URL I can find it archived. SUMMARY: A new love...or two... in Willow's life RATING: this part is more PG-13 TYPE: UTB SPOILERS: none that I know of... DISCLAIMER: BtVS and its character's belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. No infringements intended! Author's Note: text enclosed in < > represent thoughts and feelings. Part two < Such an important thing for both of them to forget to mention. > Willow had talked to Buffy and Xander a few times since they arrived back in Sunnydale just two days prior. Both had been too busy to meet with her in person, having to prepare for the "back to school" rush. Mr. Summer's business took longer than expected, and the teenagers returned home almost a month later than expected. She was shocked and surprised at the lack of jealousy she felt, considering the fact that she had been in love with Xander for years. < hmmm...guess I've moved on without knowing it. > Willow walked towards her friends with renewed vigor. Buffy was the first to notice her and quickly pulled away from Xander. Willow smiled to herself, noticing her friend's attempt to spare her feelings. "Hey, Buffy! Hey, Xander! Seems like a lifetime since we've seen each other!" Willow hugged each of her friends in turn. She sensed their anxiety in her reaction to their new status, which had yet to be discussed. She vowed to make it as easy on them as possible, in light of her recent revelation. < Why torment them with feelings of hostility, when I can honestly be happy for them. They are my dearest friends, and that won't change. > "How's my Willow?" Xander asked anxiously. He wasn't quite ready to answer to the "what happened with you two this summer" questions. "We missed you," Buffy added. Buffy shifted on her feet nervously, and Willow could see she was a bit uncomfortable. "Not too much, I see!" Willow teased and smiled sweetly. Noticing the flushed expressions on their faces, Willow added, "Hey guys, I think it's great...you two together, I mean. You don't have to be embarrassed...really!" Buffy noted the sincerity of Willow's words, and was immediately relieved. She had been so worried about Willow's reaction, ever since she discovered her true feelings for Xander. < Now, to deal with Angel. That's going to be a tough one. > Buffy expressed her concern to Willow during Phys. Ed., while changing in the girl's locker room. "I wouldn't worry about Angel, Buffy," Willow confidently reassured her friend. "He knows full well you are no longer in love with him. He'll be fine." < He knows, but has he come to terms with it? > Buffy was taken aback by Willow's confident attitude on such a touchy subject. "How can you be so sure?" "Well, I've spent a lot of time with him over the past couple of months. He told me that you only wanted to be friends. He knows the score, he'll be fine." Turning away from Buffy, she muttered to herself, "I'll guarantee it," suddenly aware of how much she wanted to spare Angel of any pain. < It's so unfair! He's spent the last eighty years or so in agony over his past. Just when he thought he was in the position to receive a little happiness, the rug was pulled out from under him. > "You and Angel?" Buffy said, and immediately realized she sounded jealous. < No, I'm not jealous! I love Xander. I'm just surprised that Angel would be interested in Willow. She and I are so different. That's all it is! I'm not jealous! > "Is that a problem?" Willow couldn't believe her ears. < How could she be jealous? She's the one that dumped Angel! Does she still want him fawning over her? > Willow slammed the locker door, perhaps harder than intended. Regaining her composure, she continued her explanation, "Angel was escorting me to class in the evenings. Giles was afraid for my safety. Angel was a good friend over the summer, that's all." Willow chided herself. < How could I think so badly of my best friend? > She shook her head, glancing at Buffy, who looked deep in thought. < No, Buffy isn't petty. I'm sure she still loves Angel in some way. It's hard letting go. > Pretending to be engrossed with something in her locker, to avoid looking at Willow, Buffy dejectedly started to explain, "No, no problem. I just..." Buffy trailed off. Her 'spider sense" was tingling. < Perfect timing...I'm not as ready for this conversation as I thought. > Her voice turned to a whisper. "Will, someone's here...watching us." "Are you sure?" Willow's query was barely audible. Buffy nodded and motioned for Willow to follow her into the gym. As the door closed behind them, the Slayer leaned close to Willow, "Let's meet in the library after school. We can discuss what was lurking in the locker room then." Willow nodded in agreement, and the two friends headed towards the rest of the class, where they met up with Xander and told him about the meeting after school. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: BUFFYFIC: Torn Between Two Lovers 3/? by Dreamscape205 Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:10:55 -0400 TITLE: Torn Between Two Lovers 3/? AUTHOR: Dreamscape205 EMAIL: Angelus@mediaone.net DISTRIBUTION: Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's Fanfic site. Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit, and email me with the URL I can find it archived. SUMMARY: A new love...or two... in Willow's life RATING: this part is more PG-13 TYPE: UTB SPOILERS: none that I know of... DISCLAIMER: BtVS and its character's belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. No infringements intended! Author's Note: text enclosed in < > represent thoughts and feelings. Part three The Slayer and her Slayerettes met up in the library after last bell. "Giles?!" Buffy called to the seemingly empty room. The Watcher/Librarian stepped out from the stacks and leaned over the railing. "Hello, you three. How was your first day back, hmm?" Xander rolled his eyes. "The only thing better than the first day of school is having a tooth pulled!" Buffy nodded in agreement, but changed the subject, "Any new adventures at hand, Giles?" "None that I'm aware of." Buffy hopped up to sit on a nearby table, "Well, the weirdest thing happened today. Willow and I were being spied upon in the girl's locker room." Giles raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? Perhaps it was just another student." He dismissed it without another thought. "No, I'm sure it was something unnatural. I could just *feel* it. I would say it was a vampire, but a vampire during the day?" Buffy shook her head. Giles frowned, "Well...in that case, we better do some digging. There may be some sort of supernatural event occurring soon." Xander joined the conversation, "If it was one of the fang gang, why didn't it attack?" "Good question." came the reply from within the stacks. They all looked up and saw Angel emerge. "Admit it, Angel!" Xander's voice was laced with sarcasm. "It was you lurking in the locker room...wanting to sneak a peek!" "Xander!" Willow slapped him on the arm. "Joking," he said, as he gave Willow a pained expression and reached up with his other hand to rub his arm. "Angel," was all Buffy could manage to say. "Buffy." Angel's brow quirked. He glanced at Willow. < She looks uncomfortable. What's happening here? > "I came in through the basement. There's an entrance into the sewer system from there." Buffy hopped down from the table and turned to face Angel, "We already know that." She smiled, teasingly. Willow glanced at Buffy to register any emotions that might show on her face. She noticed the playful smile Buffy's face held. < How could Angel see past her to me? Her beauty outshines mine by a long shot. > Crestfallen, Willow turned her attention to Angel, who wasn't looking at Buffy. < He's staring at me, again. Like I've caught him doing so many times...even before summer vacation. It's almost like he's studying me. > He shook his head and turned his attention back to Buffy, "My point is, that's how a vampire could be in the school during the day. It's just a matter of avoiding rooms with direct sunlight." He realized he had been staring at Willow, trying to gauge her feelings, and was slightly embarrassed by his actions. "Good point," Willow smiled. < It is nice to see him during the day, even if it isn't in direct sunlight. > "What can we do for you, Angel?" Giles was still uncomfortable with the thoughts of a vampire befriending his Slayer, in spite of having proved to be an invaluable ally. "There's a new player in town. I overheard some young punk vampires talking about him. Apparently, he's very powerful. They took off before I could get any details." He walked over to stand by Willow and smiled down at her. Buffy noticed the looks exchanged between Angel and Willow, but chose not to comment. Instead, she asked, "Could it have anything to do with the locker room?" Giles shrugged, "I must consult my books. Perhaps there is a prophecy mentioning a new arrival." Giles moved off towards his office, giving the vampire his dismissal, "Good to see you, Angel." Angel ignored him, turning to Willow. "Tonight, then?" Receiving a smile and a nod from Willow, he departed the way he arrived. It was Xander's turn to register surprise, "What's going on?" Buffy hooked her arm through his, smiling up at him, "Apparently, our shy, little Willow has captured the attention of a certain vampire we know." Xander made a move to follow Angel, but Buffy held him back. "We'll just see about..." "Knock it off you two!" Willow felt her cheeks grow hot as she cut him off, but not from anger. < Great! I'm blushing! > THE OUTSKIRTS OF SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA "I saw her today." Judson reported. A newly made vampire, he had only joined the Sunnydale family of undead the previous week. "Where?!" demanded his Master. "At the Sunnydale High School. I was hiding in the locker room. I saw her. She's just a student." Judson regretted the comment as soon as it left his lips. "And your point?" The Master said angrily. < The imbecile has no idea how long I've waited for my beloved's return. > "What use could she be to you?" Judson could not understand his leader. He had watched this young girl, and saw nothing special about her...except her neck. "Other than a meal?" "You fool! It is of no concern to you! Just find out everything you can about her!" Annoyed when the fool just stood there, he shouted, "Now!" Judson raced out of the room. The Master turned his attention to the portrait of his beloved. "Soon, my darling..." He spoke aloud, as if his love would hear him. < I cannot wait to meet you...again. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: BUFFYFIC: Torn Between Two Lovers 4/? by Dreamscape205 Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:14:39 -0400 TITLE: Torn Between Two Lovers 4/? AUTHOR: Dreamscape205 EMAIL: Angelus@mediaone.net DISTRIBUTION: Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's Fanfic site. Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit, and email me with the URL I can find it archived. SUMMARY: A new love...or two... in Willow's life RATING: this part is more PG-13 TYPE: UTB SPOILERS: none that I know of... DISCLAIMER: BtVS and its character's belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. No infringements intended! Author's Note: text enclosed in < > represent thoughts and feelings. PART 4 ROSENBERG RESIDENCE "I WILL HAVE YOU!" A voice louder than thunder woke Willow from her nightmare with a start, her eyes open wide with fright. She sat up, wiping the sweat from her forehead. "Who was that?" she asked herself. Laying back on the pillow again, she tried to recall the dream. She couldn't remember a thing. < Whatever it was, it felt real. > Suddenly she felt as if someone was watching her, and she looked toward the window. She wasn't surprised to see Angel sitting on the sill. < He's never been here this late, though. > "Hi. Fancy meeting you here." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Yeah, well, I just happened to be in the neighborhood." Angel's smile was brief, and his somber tone of voice suggested something serious. "We need to talk." She envisioned the visitations he paid Buffy whenever something was wrong. "Don't you have the wrong house? Isn't it the Slayer you'd want to visit with your tale of doom and gloom?" Willow was tired and cranky, having just wakened from her nightmare. "Wrong house? I don't think so." Angel quirked an eyebrow. Wanting to make her feel more at ease, he tried teasing her. "Because, if you're not her, you really need to give Willow her body back...she may need it!" "Ha, ha! Very funny. Just tell me what you came here to tell me. I need to get some sleep. I do have to go to school tomorrow, you know." She could not mask her annoyance. He had called her earlier that evening and cancelled their plans. "Someone was following you home tonight. He kept his distance, so you wouldn't notice him. I tried to catch him, to...uh...ask a few questions..." Angel smirked. Willow knew his intentions were not to merely question her stalker. To rid him from this earth, was more like it. "But you lost him?" "Uh-huh. Sorry," he shrugged. Not being in the mood to answer many questions, he played light of the situation trying to distract her. Realization sank in, "Wait! Why were *you* following me?" Willow had a "don't you dare try to worm out of this one" look on her face. Angel stood and walked to Willow's desk. He pulled out the chair and sat facing the bed. He seemed to be searching for the right words. Finally he said, "I was worried about you. Buffy had said someone was spying on you in the locker room. I just happened to be near the school when you left. Now...may I ask why you dared walk home alone. You, of all people, are aware of what could happen in Sunnydale at night." Willow sighed, "Buffy needed to go on patrol. She had more important things to do. I was fine." She saw a shadow pass over Angel's face...and it frightened her just a little. "Are you crazy? There is nothing more important than your safety! Buffy would have made time to see you home. Why she let you go, I'll never understand!" Angel wasn't about to mask his anger and irritation. < How could they be so foolish? To risk Willow's life like that...why, if anything ever happened to her... > "Please," Willow begged. "Don't blame Buffy. I get so tired of being a burden to her. My dad was supposed to pick me up outside the library at eight o'clock. When he wasn't there, I decided to go it alone. I know it was stupid, and I'll never do it again." "Willow, you're her friend, not her burden. Remember that." He admonished. < Back to the subject at hand. > "Why do you suppose someone was following me?" Willow was getting worried. This on top of her nightmare gave her chills of trepidation. "I have no idea. Maybe he wanted to ask you for a date?" < Ugh, that was lame. > Angel saw that look of exasperation reappear on her face. "Well, I would have been available. It seems my plans had been changed." < By you! What gives? > She had been looking forward to his visit. She realized how much she needed to talk about her feelings regarding Xander and Buffy. And, how it was only Angel she wanted to talk to. Angel moved to sit next to her on the bed. She looked so young and vulnerable, tired from lack of sleep. "Don't be angry, little one." he lightly brushed the hair from her face. "Believe me, I would rather have been with you. There was just something I had to do." Willow leaned towards the touch of his hand. "I understand," she sighed. Angel's hand slid under her hair to the base of her neck. He gently pulled her closer to him. "No, you don't," he teased, and kissed the tip of her nose. Willow drew in a surprised breath and looked into Angel's dark eyes. < How beautiful they are. I could die in those eyes. > She tilted her head slightly and pressed her lips against his. < Am I being too forward? > At her gesture, Angel increased the pressure and intensity of the kiss. Willow felt his hand travel down her back and hook under her arm. His free hand slid under her legs. Without his lips leaving hers, he picked her up and placed her on his lap. < Her lips taste like sweet, fresh wine. I need to stop this...but I don't want to. It isn't fair to her, she doesn't know what she's getting into. > He pulled her even closer, betraying his thoughts. All that mattered, at that moment in time, was the taste of her mouth and the feel of her body against his. With a groan, Angel reluctantly broke the impassioned embrace. Willow let out a small, "No." Which was no more than a whisper. Her arms remained where they were, encircling his neck. She wasn't ready to put distance between them yet. She laid her head against his chest, and could feel the firm muscles beneath his T-shirt. She felt content to stay in his arms, safe, secure. In all the years she thought she had been in love with Xander, she had never felt what she was feeling at this moment. Worried by her silence, Angel looked down at her. "Are you all right, little one?" "Mmmm...yes." She snuggled closer, "I just don't understand what is happening here...between us, I mean." Willow wasn't sure she wanted to hear his answer. < Am I just a poor substitute for Buffy? > Angel stroked her hair < mmm...silk >, "That is up to us, isn't it?" "I suppose." She felt him rest his chin on top of her head. < Could he get any more ambiguous? > "Angel? Why did you call me "little one"?" He chuckled at her quick change in subject. < She does have unique thoughts. > He remembered the time she asked him how he shaved, and had to keep from laughing. "It's a term of endearment from long ago. I'm sure it isn't used any more. Does it bother you?" She pulled away to look him in the face, "No, I was just making sure you weren't referring to me as a child. I know I'm not quite 18 yet, but I'm not a kid any more." "No, you are not a child...that's one thing I never thought of you. From the first day we met, you have appeared more mature than most adults I know. " He repositioned her back on the bed, "No, you are definitely not a child." "Good. Just making sure." She smiled, teasingly. "And just so you know, I don't think of you as old, either!" He took her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips, "It's time for me to go. You need your rest." He turned her hand over, and placed a kiss on her palm. "Sweet dreams, little one." He let go of her hand, and was gone. Willow laid her head back on the pillow. < Like I'm going to get back to sleep tonight. > She replayed the evening in her mind over and over again. No, Willow Rosenberg did not get back to sleep that night! *********** Across the street from the Rosenberg's, Judson was finally able to leave his hiding place among the bushes. < It's about time that guy left! > Judson began his journey back to the mansion where his master was residing. He had thought his last report went badly. How was he going to explain this little scenario? He stopped off at the Bronze, the local nightclub, to ask a few questions about Ms. Rosenberg's visitor. He asked several patrons, but didn't get any answers. It seemed her "friend" was quite mysterious. Being the ever-faithful servant, Judson reported to his master immediately upon his arrival. He knocked lightly on the office door and peeked inside. "I have some information regarding Ms. Rosenberg." "Well?" he demanded, drumming his fingers on the desktop. Judson quickly scrambled in and stood in front of the handcrafted mahogany desk. He tried valiantly to hide his nervousness. "She's an overachiever scholastically. Although she is not in the popular crowd, she has many friends. Of those friends, two are inseparable from her. I did a little checking and found out their names. Buffy Summers and Alexander Harris. And there is one more thing..." Judson trailed off. "Do I have to beat it out of you?" the Master threatened as he got up from his desk. He walked menacingly towards Judson, and stopped directly in from of him. An evil glint appeared in his eye as he ran his forefinger along the collar of Judson's shirt, "Because, I will." "Okay. There isn't an easy way to say this...but she has a boyfriend or something. He caught me following her home. I guess he was following me. Anyway, he chased me for a few blocks, but I lost him. Since I lost track of Ms. Rosenberg, I decided to follow him. He led me right back to her." He paused, taking note of his Master's mental state. < He seems calm enough...I guess I can go on. > "Her room was dark, and I assume she was sleeping. He entered through her bedroom window. He stayed with her for quite some time...I didn't think he would ever leave her." "Yes, I'm sure it was awful for you." Without warning, the Master backhanded Judson across the face and sent him reeling. "Get out of my sight. I'll call you when I need you." After the subject left the room, he found himself standing in front of his beloved's portrait. "Finally, you have risen in a young maiden. Will you remember me?" < I will make you remember. > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dreamscape Subject: BUFFYFIC: Torn Between Two Lovers 5/? by Dreamscape205 Date: 01 Jun 1998 00:17:23 -0400 TITLE: Torn Between Two Lovers 5/? AUTHOR: Dreamscape205 EMAIL: Angelus@mediaone.net DISTRIBUTION: Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's Fanfic site. Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit, and email me with the URL I can find it archived. SUMMARY: A new love...or two... in Willow's life RATING: this part is more PG-13 TYPE: UTB SPOILERS: none that I know of... DISCLAIMER: BtVS and its character's belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy. No infringements intended! Author's Note: text enclosed in < > represent thoughts and feelings. PART 5 SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL Buffy entered the cafeteria looking for her friends. < Ew, what's that smell? No lunch for this girl! > She scanned the tables and noticed Willow sitting at a nearby table, her back towards Buffy. As she walked towards Willow, Buffy noticed her friend was propping her head up in her hand, her elbow on the table. Just as she reached Willow, her head slipped off her hand and was about to fall into her lunch. Luckily, Buffy grabbed her shoulder just before she hit the "spaghetti surprise". "Will, are you okay?" Buffy sat in the chair next to her friend. She looked into Willow's tired eyes, "Girl, look at those bags under your eyes. Did you sleep?" Willow shook her head, "No. Angel stopped by last night." She was too tired to go into a lengthy explanation, "I think our locker room lurker was following me last night." Placing her hand over her mouth, she attempted to suppress a yawn. Buffy scowled, "You really shouldn't let Angel stay so late. Look at you, you can't keep your eyes open." Willow offered a tired smile, "He didn't stay late, really. He barely stayed for twenty minutes." < Too bad, because it was just getting interesting. > A book bag suddenly crashed on the table. Buffy and Willow looked up quickly to see Xander towering over them. "How are my two favorite women doing?" He plopped in the chair next to Buffy, and put his arm around her shoulder. Buffy smiled and kissed his cheek, "One of us is sleep walking. The other is scolding her." "Hey, Will, at least you remembered to change out of your nightie!" Xander laughed at his own joke. "Ha, ha, Xander. You really should go on the road with that act." Willow said, and wrinkled her nose at him. "So, are we Bronzing it tonight?" he asked, enthusiastically. Willow shook her head, "Uh-uh...not me. I'm sleeping." "Come on, Will!" Xander pleaded. "Thursday night...no cover!" Buffy nodded and nudged Willow, "Yeah, no cover. You can take a nap after school...you'll be fine by seven!" Willow sighed. Although her body craved unending sleep, she just couldn't disappoint her friends. "Okay, just promise me you won't let my head hit the table if I pass out. It leaves a bump." She laughed as they all rose from their chairs to share in a group hug. ****** ROSENBERG RESIDENCE Willow tossed fitfully in her sleep. A strange, unidentifiable presence was invading her dreams. She was aware of danger, excitement, rage and death. The pieces to the puzzle were small, and too vague to put together. She welcomed the sound of the ringing telephone that invaded her sleep to bring her back to reality. "Hello," Willow yawned into the handset of her telephone. < Must be Buffy with my wakeup call to get ready to go to the Bronze. > "Willow? Were you sleeping?" "Angel," she said, sighing. His voice brought back the memories of the previous night, and she melted inside. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yawn in your ear. I didn't get much sleep last night." "That was my fault. I shouldn't have stopped by so late," he said, silently chastising himself for being so thoughtless. "It's okay, Angel, I'm not sorry you stopped by," she said, then wished she could take it back. "I mean, it's always nice to see you." Willow shook her head at her sad attempt to cover up the excitement she still felt from the previous evening. Angel chuckled, "Okay, Willow. Are you going out tonight?" Willow nodded absentmindedly, "yes." "I wish you would stay in tonight. There is always the chance that whoever has been following you will be out there looking for an opportunity to try something." < And I couldn't bear that. > "I=92ll try to come by and see you later," he said, almost pleading. "Sorry, I promised Buffy and Xander," she explained. "Besides, you know how I feel about waiting around for someone." A long period of silence passed, Angel finally responded. "Okay, little one, have it your way. But remember...I may not show up on time, but I do show up eventually. And I=92m not Xander, I know you exist." Angel=92s voice had become a soft whisper, and Willow felt a warmth grow from within the core of her being. Just listening to his voice could excite her. She was also amazed that he knew she was referring to waiting for Xander all those years, only to be passed up time and time again. "Thank you. And, Angel..." "Yes?" "You could always check up on me at the Bronze," Willow suggested, hopefully. "No promises, but I=92ll try," Angel replied. "If I don=92t see you there, have a good time." She said her good-byes to Angel. Willow then called Buffy and told her she was getting ready, and would meet her and Xander at the Bronze in an hour. ****** THE BRONZE Willow thanked her father for dropping her off at the Bronze on the way to his office to pick up some paperwork he=92d forgotten. She hopped out of the car, and made her way to the entrance. The Bronze was crowded for a weeknight, with no cover being charged. It took her a few minutes to find Buffy and Xander, who had claimed a table close to the dance floor. "Hi, guys," Willow said, cheerfully. "Willow," Xander smiled crookedly, "it=92s about time you show up. What? Oversleep?" Willow shook her head, "No, just got distracted." Willow glanced quickly around the Bronze. < No, I=92m *not* looking for Angel! > "No band tonight?" she questioned, trying to mask the fact that she *was* looking for Angel. ***** After questioning Judson, the Master learned of Willow=92s favorite hangouts. Having already gone by her house and finding no one home, he decided to try The Bronze. It was supposed to be the happening place for the younger generation. He entered from a rear entrance, and spotted Willow almost immediately. She was sitting at a table near the front, close to the dance floor. His gaze was more than appreciative, for he knew she would be beautiful. She resembled his beloved Catherine almost exactly as he remembered her. Her auburn hair flowed naturally, freely to her shoulders. He was awed by her beautiful complexion, the essence that glowed from her being was almost debilitating. He took a deliberate step forward. He knew what he had come for, and it was time to make his beloved remember who she truly was. He would not stop until he got what he wanted. The one thing he had learned during his time in Sunnydale, was that the residents were oblivious to what went on around them, so he had no fear of encountering his beloved in this public place. Willow felt a strange chill come over her, and she had an odd feeling. < I=92m being watched. > She also sensed a feeling of familiarity that she could not explain. Swiveling in her chair to peruse the Bronze, she noticed a stranger standing in the shadows near the rear of the Bronze. Willow was overwhelmed by a strange sense of deja vu. Her eyes fixed on this handsome stranger, and she could not tear herself away. He was gorgeous. Tall, fair, sandy brown hair, muscular build and piercing blue eyes. She had never seen him before in her life, and yet she could not shake the feeling that she had. Buffy and Xander looked from Willow to each other, both noticing the fixed stare Willow had on the stranger in the back of the Bronze. "Willow, you okay?" Buffy asked. "You..." her voice trailed off as she noticed Willow=92s movement to leave her chair. Willow=92s eyes locked with his, and in just one look, all else seemed to disappear. An all consuming urge to go to him filled her being. She half rose from her chair when she felt someone=92s hand grasp onto her forearm. Without a thought or word, she brushed the hand off of her that was trying to hold her back. In a graceful motion, she moved away from her two friends towards the mysterious stranger. He was calling to her, it was a force she could not resist, and she went to him willingly. Willow walked towards him slowly, deliberately, as if it was a walk destined from birth. And although the Bronze was crowded, the people parted like the Red Sea parted for Moses. As she walked towards someone, an unforeseen force moved him or her out of the way. A path was cleared so that her walk was not disturbed in any way. Willow was now face to face with the stranger. He reached for her hand, and she placed it into his without hesitation. He looked her up and down, finally he spoke, "Remember." Simultaneously he placed the index and middle fingers of his right hand to her left temple, pressing with minimal force. What seemed like an electric current charged through her brain. She opened her mouth to speak, closing it quickly. Her mind was flooded with memories from a past that she never lived. She watched the two strangers in her mind=92s eye. The two lovers that looked exactly like her and the stranger before her. "Chase," she whispered aloud as she collapsed into his arms. The influx of memories drained most of her energy, leaving her slightly off balance and dizzy. From the shadows of the Bronze, a presence lurked. Angel watched as she strode into the arms of another man, unaware of the transpiring events. His attention was focused on Willow as he watched the stranger support her effortlessly. < If he's harmed her, so help me... His thought ended abruptly as he watched two figures approached Willow and her companion. Buffy and Xander, having witnessed Willow=92s apparent collapse, rushed to her side. Buffy reached for Willow, but Willow shrugged out of her grasp, choosing the comfort of Chase=92s arms instead. "Willow, what=92s wrong?" she pleaded. Willow turned, gazing at Buffy through baneful eyes, "Leave me," she commanded. She took Chase=92s arm and began walking with him towards the exit. Angel, who was standing in the doorway, hindered their departure. "You aren=92t going anywhere with her," he spat. His eyes were pools of hatred as he looked upon the man who was trying to spirit Willow away. As Angel watched a wry smile form on the lips of the stranger, recognition of this man came to him. < Now I understand Willow's importance to him=85and whom she has reminded me of all this time. > A low rumble emitted from Angel as he realized what Chase had done to Willow's mind and he fought the temptation to morph into his vampire state. Chase, however, needed no time to remember who was standing in his way. "My, my, Angelus. You do have a way of interrupting at the most inopportune moments. A huge character flaw you exhibit. But, no bother, I finally have Catherine back, and there=92s nothing you can do to stop it." He held Willow close, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Willow smiled up at him, eyes showing nothing but love. Angel growled, "You have no right to take Willow. Catherine is dead. Don=92t you think it=92s about time you deal with that!" He reached for and grabbed Willow by her shoulders, "Willow, I know you=92re in there! You have to fight it, you have to fight through the curtain of memories he=92s unleashed in your mind." Willow made no response. "Please...his voice pleaded. Buffy took matters into her own hands, and smashed a table down upon Chase=92s back. The force drove both Chase and Willow to the floor, knocking both unconscious. She checked Willow=92s pulse quickly, and was relieved to find it quite strong. She glanced up at Angel. "Get her out of here." Angel scooped up Willow, leaving Buffy and Xander to deal with the mess left behind. He started off in the direction of the Rosenberg=92s, but thought better of it. His apartment would be safer for Willow. He had a feeling Chase knew where Willow lived, and that would be the first place he would go, provided he lived through whatever Buffy had in store for him. Back at the Bronze, Xander was helping Buffy move Chase=92s prone form out of the club. Each of them picked him up by an arm, dragging him face down between them. "He=92s dead weight," Xander complained. "Why don=92t you just stake him." Buffy shook her head, "don=92t know Xander. It=92s just a feeling I have. If I kill him, Willow will never be free." Unbeknownst to the teenagers Chase had regained consciousness. As soon as he was drug out of the Bronze, he struggled to free himself. Supporting himself by holding on to Buffy and Xander's arms, he swung his legs up underneath him to stand upright. Caught off guard, Xander let go of Chase, which freed one arm. He sent Xander reeling with a forceful lunge to the chest. Less than a second had passed when he turned his attention to Buffy, who still had a hold on him by his right arm. He noticed her reaching around her back, and he used that minuscule distraction to punch Buffy square in the jaw, causing her to back peddle, effectively releasing him. Composure regained, Chase was too much of a match for Xander, and knocked him out cold effortlessly. He picked Xander up like a ragdoll, holding him under one arm, carrying him like he weighed next to nothing. "If you want your friend back, bring Catherine to me tonight." Then he was gone, leaving Buffy speechless, rubbing her aching jaw.