From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (Buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: Buffyfic-digest V2 #29 Reply-To: buffyfic@xmission.com Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk Buffyfic-digest Sunday, February 8 1998 Volume 02 : Number 029 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul (2/3) BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul (3/3) BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul BUFFYFIC: OT: AGGHHH! BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Even the Score BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Heart and Soul" BUFFYFIC: HMTTN (1/4): Lonely Is The Night (1/1) See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 00:17:03 -0500 From: "Vickie Adams" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul (2/3) See Part One for all disclaimers . . . Giles had spent the entire evening in the library with out much progress.= He was still no closer to knowing what Buffy had planned. Maybe it wasn=92t dangerous. Maybe she was right and she could take care of herself. If tha= t were the case, why did he have such a bad feeling? After reviewing the plan one last time, Willow and Buffy settled in to ge= t some much-needed sleep before sunrise. Buffy was asleep as soon as her he= ad hit the pillow. Willow, on the other hand , was worried. The more she and Buffy reviewed the plan, the more she saw things that could go wrong. She wasn=92t even sure the plan could work. It had never been tried. Parts of= the plan were just guesses, assumptions that she or Buffy had made because th= ere was no documented fact available. By the time Willow had fallen asleep, t= he alarm went off. It was time to get up, only forty-five minutes =91till sunrise. Buffy looked at her friend," wish me luck, Will." "I can=92t. I mean, it=92s probably bad luck to wish you good luck. Break= a leg." "Break a leg=92s only in the theater, I think, but thanks." The apartment was a very familiar place for Buffy. She=92d had no trouble getting in; she=92d never given back her key. Then again, he=92d never as= ked for it back either. As she looked around the apartment, she realized that ver= y little had changed. That was a good sign, it meant that she and Willow mi= ght be right. If she and Willow weren=92t right, this could be very bad. No, she and Willow were right. This was going to work. It was too late in the game for her to begin doubting the plan. Anyhow, the sun would be up = in just a few minutes and it was too late to turn back . . . Angelus knew there was someone in his apartment before he even opened the door. He didn=92t have a lot of options; it was too close to sunrise for = him to try to get anywhere else. Besides, he had a pretty good idea of who wa= s inside the apartment. Giles was rather surprised to see Willow in the library. It was rather ea= rly as well as being a Saturday. Her presence only meant on thing, Buffy had gone through with her plan. "Willow, where is she? What was this plan?" "Giles, it=92s too late to stop her. The only person that can help Buffy = now is Angel." "Angel is dead. He can=92t help anyone." "Giles, I hope you=92re wrong. Oh, do I hope you=92re wrong." "You do know I could kill you right now and still get a good day=92s slee= p, right?" Angelus looked at his uninvited guest and smiled. "If you kill me right now, you=92ll never get the chance to find out why = I=92m here." Angelus crossed the apartment from the door to the bed and sat down. "Wha= t makes you think I care why you=92re here?" Buffy smiled at him, completely unafraid, "If you didn=92t care I=92d alr= eady be dead." Giles was even more worried by Willow=92s reaction. "Willow, where is Buf= fy right now?" "Right now? Well, right now Buffy=92s --- she=92s -- well. . . " "Willow, WHERE IS BUFFY?" "She=92s with him. At his apartment. She=92s going to spend the day with = him." Giles heard the words but for some reason couldn=92t believe his ears. "B= uffy is ALONE with Angelus right now? Does she know that it is very likely he will kill her? She has already proven that she isn=92t ready to kill him.= " "Actually that=92s her main logic. Buffy believes that just like she can=92= t kill him, when it comes right down to it, Angel wont be able to kill her either. It makes sense." "Sense? How can you say it makes sense? Did either of you think about Drucilia? Angelus couldn=92t kill her either. Instead, he drove her mad a= nd then made her a vampire." "Buffy believes it=92s different this time. She=92s stronger than Dru eve= r was, and she=92s confronting Angelus before he has a chance to kill all her friends. " "Willow, did either of you bother to read so much as a word about Drucili= a? Obviously not. Drucilia was a slayer. Had she been just a normal mortal s= he=92 d have been as dead as Jenny =96 Yanna=92s relative. Angelus has spent ce= nturies falling in love with women only to kill them when he gets board. He kills everyone connected to them, it=92s just what he likes to do. He wants the= m to feel totally alone. Angelus killed Drucilia=92s family, all of her friend= s and even her watcher. He brought her across as a trophy. Buffy has played rig= ht into Angelus=92s hand and there=92s nothing anyone can do to help her now= ." Angelus was impressed by Buffy=92s tenacity. In all his years, she was th= e first woman to actually make a formidable opponent. A part of him would h= ate when this game was over, he began to wonder if he could keep her without driving her mad first. "Alright, Buffy, we=92ll do this your way. What ar= e you doing here?" "Actually? I was hoping we could make love." Buffy saw just a brief flicker of shock in the vampire=92s eyes. He hadn=92= t expected this. That was good. Angelus looked at the young girl sitting on his bed. There was no fear in her eyes, if anything they were filled with love. "You want what?" Buffy stood up facing the vampire and began to undress, "if you think you= =92re up to it, I figured you=92ve got no where to go for a while and I=92ve go= t no where to be. Why not? You yourself said I have a lot to learn about men, teach me." Willow couldn=92t believe she=92s overlooked something so obvious. She lo= oked at her watch, this was going to be the longest day of her life. Giles wander= ed around the library trying not to look worried. Buffy was smart, she had t= o have a plan, but she had no way to know that she wasn=92t the first slaye= r he=92 d done this to. He only wished there was a way to help her. To rescue her before sunset. Although the mid-day sun was high in the sky, incandescent lights gave th= e apartment an air of timelessness. Buffy had deliberately not worn her wat= ch so she=92d have no idea how long she=92d been there or how long she had l= eft before sun set. Lying next to the sleeping Angelus, Buffy hoped she knew what she was doing. As they were making love, it felt like she was with Angel but she didn=92t want to fool herself. She couldn=92t let her guard= down. "Willow, what time is sunset today?" "5:46, why?" "I was just wondering. You never did tell me what Buffy planned to do." Willow looked at the man and could see the obvious worry on his face. She checked her watch, 1pm. Buffy had made her promise not to tell before noo= n and she was very proud that she=92d kept the promise. She only hoped she=92= d have the chance to tell Buffy. "All I can say is that she believes that Angel still loves her and that with her help Angel can drive the demon ou= t once and for all. I don=92t know what she=92s going to use to initiate th= e fight." Giles stood looking into space, "I think I know what she=92s going to use= . She going to offer him her soul." Angelus woke up in an empty bed. He began to wonder if he=92d dreamt the entire thing. No, her scent was still in the sheets. Her scent was still = in the apartment, she hadn=92t left yet. She was seated, fully dressed, acro= ss from the bed. "You haven=92t left?" "Yes, I know. I have more manners than you do. I couldn=92t see letting y= ou wake up alone." "You do realize that there is every likelihood I will kill you when the s= un sets. If you=92d left while I was still asleep, you might have had a chan= ce to come back for more later." Buffy knew the time was right, "what makes you think I want more from you= ? You may have been my first but you don=92t have an exclusive contract. No= w that you=92re out of my picture, I=92m free. I just woke up feeling senti= mental this morning and I assumed that you wouldn=92t say no, no matter how bad = I may be." Angelus couldn=92t believe this change. The love he thought he=92d seen i= n her eyes was gone. They were blank and emotion-less. He=92d never expected he= r to be strong enough to stop loving him. He=92d underestimated her. Buffy hoped this was working, she could see the surprise in Angelus=92s f= ace. He hadn=92t expected such a swift turnabout. Giles looked at the clock on the wall; the sun would be down in just two short hours. He tried not to look worried but he didn=92t need to hide hi= s fear from Willow. She was just as afraid on her own. "What are you really doing here, Buffy?" "What am I doing? I=92m here to offer you my soul. You=92ve already cheap= ened everything else we had down to an aerobic activity, I thought I=92d give = you the opportunity to make that final leap. Destroy the rest. As long as you let me live, your soul, your goodness is still very much alive. It=92s al= l your fault. You pledged your soul to mine, can=92t you take the pledge ba= ck?" "What makes you think I won=92t kill you?" "Kill me? I just offered you the chance. You want to kill me? Do it. Just know that you=92re killing a part of yourself with me." Buffy opened the neck of her blouse to expose the soft flesh of her neck. Angelus barred his fangs and looked directly at Buffy, Don=92t think my s= oul will stop me from killing you. My soul is a curse. Without it, I am free.= " Buffy smiled, she knew her plan was beginning to work. "Are you planning = to talk me to death? Your soul isn=92t a curse; it=92s all you have. It make= s you different. You=92re not free; you=92re more of a slave than any other vam= pire out there. You don=92t want your soul? Take it. Kill me if you think it w= ill make you free. Angelus was losing ground. Physically he could beat her but he wasn=92t a= s sure about beating her with logic. He=92d told Spike that to kill her, yo= u had to love her. He was wrong. By loving her, he=92d let her touch a part of = him that he=92d thought died a very long time ago. "Why are you in such a hurry to die? Can=92t you live without me?" "You=92re half right. I can=92t live with you. You=92re holding the Angel= that I love hostage. I know he=92s still a part of you, I felt him when we were together. There=92s a part of you that still loves me. I=92d rather be de= ad than watch you destroy that slowly." "I don=92t love you. I have never loved you." Angelus was starting to get= mad. "That=92s it, say it again. If you keep saying it you may start to believ= e it yourself. You don=92t love me? Come over here and kill me." "I don=92t love you. I DON=92T! I don=92t love you. You want me to kill y= ou? You=92 re in that much of a hurry to die? Fine, I=92ll kill you. I don=92t love = you." "Should I mention that you=92ve already said you don=92t love me? Do some= thing about it. Kill me. Kill me and kill the only part of you that makes you different." Angelus looked at the flesh of her neck. As he leaned in for the kill, Bu= ffy surprised him. Catching his face, she kissed him hard, full on the lips. = The harder he fought her, the harder her kiss became. Buffy pulled away and smiled, "tell me one more time that you don=92t love me." Angelus looked deep into her eyes. "I don=92t . . . I DON=92T . . . " He = couldn=92 t say it and she knew it. That was what this was all about. "What=92s wrong baby, cat got your tongue? Maybe you=92re looking for the= right words?" Buffy hoped her plan had worked. If it hadn=92t her time was almo= st up. Giles looked at his watch and then the clock on the wall. 5:45pm. In just fifty short seconds his world would be different. No matter what happened= , it would change everything. He looked over at Willow; she looked like she= =92d aged fifty years in just eight hours. If anything happened to Buffy, Will= ow would blame herself for a very long time. Angel knew the sun was down. He grabbed Buffy and pinned her to the wall with his body. "No baby, the cat ain=92t got my tongue. This was a very n= ice try, if you=92d waited until mid June you might have had enough daylight = for your plan to work. You thought this plan out but you forgot one little variable =96 my soul has no say in the matter. That=92s all right, I=92ve= got good news for you. I=92ve decided not to kill you, or your friends. I=92ll lea= ve your friends for you. You=92ll make a much nicer companion than Dru. It will b= e quite ironic; you=92ll be my second slayer in that many centuries. I must= have a soft spot for your kind." Buffy was heart broken. She was sure she=92d had him. Buffy thought for a moment, mentally preparing for the end. Holding her tight against the wal= l, Angel was ready this time. Staying true to her nature, Buffy wasn=92t dyi= ng without a fight. "Angel, I love you. No matter what happens, I WILL ALWAYS love you." The seconds ticked by like lifetimes. Buffy felt herself falling towards = the floor. She never expected it to end like this. - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 00:28:24 -0500 From: "Vickie Adams" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul (3/3) See part one for disclaimers . . . "Buffy? Buffy, what are you doing home? I thought you were going to LA. w= ith Willow. Why did you sleep on the couch?" Buffy looked around. She had no idea what was going on. The last thing sh= e remembered was fainting. Angelus was taking her. Without thinking, she reached up to feel her neck. No marks, nothing. Could it all have been a dream? "Mom, what day is today?" "Have you been drinking? It=92s Sunday." Sunday? It couldn=92t have been a dream; she=92d lost an entire day. Or a= t least an entire night. How did she get from Angel=92s apartment to her own couc= h? "No, mom, I=92m fine. I got home late last night and I was just too tired= to climb the stairs to bed. I have to meet Willow and Mr. Giles early; they=92= re helping me with a project. I=92m just going to take a shower." By the time, Buffy got to the library she was even more confused. She tri= ed to remember what happened but no matter how hard she tried the last thing she remembered was fainting. "Buffy!" Willow and Giles both screamed at almost the same moment. "Buffy Summers, where have you been? All last night you were no where to be foun= d. We had both started to think the worst." Willow was just happy to see her friend. "Did it work? How=92s Angel?" "I don=92t know what happened. The last thing I remember, the sun went do= wn and Angel told me that he was going to make me a vampire. He said that I=92= d be his second slayer in as many centuries. Then I fainted and then I woke= up this morning on my living room couch. I don=92t know what happened." Giles tried not to show excitement at the sight of Buffy. He had to remai= n the stoic watcher. "Do you know how much of a risk you took. You=92re not= even sure why you=92re not dead." Buffy didn=92t want to have this fight, especially since Giles was right = for what it was worth. She was stupid for trying and she really didn=92t know= why she wasn=92t dead. All that said, she didn=92t regret trying to save Ange= l. "Giles, if you ever love someone and then lose them you=92ll understand w= hy I had to risk everything to try to save Angel. I had no choice." Buffy was glad to spend the night at Willow=92s house. With Willow=92s pa= rents still in LA. the house was quite and she=92d have more time to think of a= n excuse for her mother. "Next time, the plan will work. You know you came close, next time . . ." "Will, there can=92t be a next time. I don=92t know what happened this ti= me but I know I=92ll never have another chance. I failed. I=92ve lost Angel fore= ver. I almost wish Angelus had killed me, the pain would be over." "Don=92t ever say that. You can=92t mean it . . ." Willow looked at Buffy with surprise. She was sure she had no idea what w= as going on. Buffy just sat stunned, she wasn=92t sure but she knew one way = to test. Grabbing the cross that hung around her neck Buffy held it to repel the vampire facing her and her friend. Reaching over, he rapped his hand arou= nd hers on the cross. "When I gave you that, I never thought you=92d use it against me. Buffy, = the pain that cross brings me is slim compared to the pain I=92ve cause you a= nd your friends. I=92ll understand if you can=92t forgive me." Buffy began to cry. This was too good to be true. "How? Is it really you? How? I don=92t understand." Angel let Buffy drop the cross as he knelt in front of her. "Buffy, you knew. You knew all along that you could help me beat the demon. You accep= ted that the demon was a part of me, if you hadn=92t it wouldn=92t have worke= d." Willow still had no idea what was going on. "Angel are you, I don=92t kno= w, I mean, do you still want to kill all of us?" "No, Willow. Buffy helped me gain control. She made me see that having a soul wasn=92t a curse. She can love me with the demon." "Angel, I don=92t understand. The last thing I remember, You were holding= me against the wall and then I fainted. I woke up this morning on my living room couch. What happened? Why am I not dead?" "I couldn=92t do it. The demon in me couldn=92t kill you. The love was to= o strong. You proved that you loved me for who I am -- all of who I am. You could be with me, love me despite everything." Buffy pulled her lover onto the couch next to her, "I don=92t know what happened or how it worked but we can be together?" "No, Buffy, We ARE together. Heart and soul forever." FIN (all comments, complaints, suggestions etc. to : vickiann.adams@snet.net or EmeraldCT@aol.com ) - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 09:57:51 -0800 (PST) From: Tessa Subject: BUFFYFIC: Heart and Soul Hi! I REALLY loved "Heart and Soul", it was a fabulous story. I was wondering; Would you allow me to place it in my fanfic archive? If you let me, I promise to give you FULL credit, as it is your story, of course! :) Let me know if this is all right with you. Tessa :) PS The URL for my site is below. It's called The Slayer's Guild. === Tessa :) The Slayer's Guild http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/3447/ Angel comes down the stairs and over to stand behind Xander. Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (notices Angel) Hey, man, how you doin'? "Reptile Boy" _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 10:01:47 -0800 (PST) From: Tessa Subject: BUFFYFIC: OT: AGGHHH! All you Buffyfic peoplesies, Omigosh! I'm sorry for that little ditty on "Heart and Soul"! I was trying to write back to the authoress and didn't notice the reply to was the addy for Buffyfic. I pressed "stop" but I guess I was too late... Please forgive me! (:) Tessa :) === Tessa :) The Slayer's Guild http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/3447/ Angel comes down the stairs and over to stand behind Xander. Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (notices Angel) Hey, man, how you doin'? "Reptile Boy" - ---Tessa wrote: > > Hi! I REALLY loved "Heart and Soul", it was a fabulous story. I was > wondering; Would you allow me to place it in my fanfic archive? If you > let me, I promise to give you FULL credit, as it is your story, of > course! :) Let me know if this is all right with you. > > Tessa :) > > PS The URL for my site is below. It's called The Slayer's Guild. > > > > === > Tessa :) > The Slayer's Guild > http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/3447/ > > Angel comes down the stairs and over to stand behind Xander. > Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to > come around to that freak? (notices Angel) Hey, man, how you doin'? > "Reptile Boy" > > > > > > _________________________________________________________ > DO YOU YAHOO!? > Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com > > > - > > _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 15:22:18 -0500 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Even the Score I liked this. A *lot.* It's a very unusual take on the current situation, and you were right- I'm sick of reading all this "Angel harasses Buffy" stuff. She's the slayer, after all, and should have some strength of character! Perhaps you could continue your story? - -Ingrid - ----------- "I know. I look like Willow, I act like Willow... I guess I am Willow!" _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 15:26:01 -0500 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Heart and Soul" I'm intrigued! - ------- "I know. I look like Willow, I act like Willow... I guess I am Willow!" _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 8 Feb 1998 19:47:36 EST From: TreyCash@aol.com Subject: BUFFYFIC: HMTTN (1/4): Lonely Is The Night (1/1) Title: Help Me Through The Night (1/4): Lonely Is The Night (1/1) By: Alex Queirolo EMAIL ADDRESS: Treycash@Aol.com DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Anya's and my site eventually.. http://members.aol.com/treycash/ff3.html SPOILER WARNING: Suprise/Innocence and pre-uninformed spoilers for BBB RATING: A PG. Smoochies. FEEDBACK: Yes..yes..YES!!! Please! And beware of the yellow haired rats. ****** HELP ME THROUGH THE NIGHT ________________________________________ CHAPTER ONE: LONELY IS THE NIGHT ******** AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place during BBB. That would be the upcoming episode due to air on February 10, 1998. That said, I haven't seen the ep but I'm creating theories and making guesses and taking all that from just the thirty second preview. DISCLAIMER: None of the characters of this fic belong to me. They belong to Joss "Da Man" Whedon. Any dialogue that appears on the show also belongs to Joss while any that doesn't belongs to me. No toe-stepping is intended. The title is taken from an Air Supply song. The quote is taken from the Air Supply song "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" STORY NOTES: This is the first of three plus an epilogue. This one starts at the beginning of the preview. At this point, all of these stories step out of the time-stream and exist within mine. ********** "And I know the night is fading And I know the time's gonna fly And I'm never gonna tell you Everything I gotta tell you But I know I gotta give it a try" "If you keep doing that, you're gonna sprain your neck," she told him quietly. Absently, her hand drifted downwards to her still full glass of coke and she stirred it with her finger. "What?" he asked in suprise. He looked back at her and blushed. "You must think I'm nervous and all, right? Well..no..no..." he sighed as he watched her unconvinced face. "I feel like I'm going home to give my parents my report card." "You worry too much. She'll love it..what girl wouldn't?" Buffy Summers reassured him with the faintest of smiles. "Right..okay...tell that to my bladder." Buffy lifted an eyebrow, "I..don't...want to know." She looked away from Xander and out towards the dance floor where her best-friend Willow Rosenberg was dancing with Oz. They looked so perfect..so utterly lost in each others's arms. "Buffy?" She watched as Willow laughed at something Oz said and he beamed with pride. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek and then they both just gazed at each other. "Buffy?" This was her shy friend. The one she'd had to push and now she was the happy one. Well, that was okay because she deserved happiness. They all did. Didn't they? "Buff, you're scaring me," Xander said as he moved his stool closer to her. He put his hand on her shoulder and she blinked. "I'm sorry...I...I...was just...thinking..." "About Angel," Xander said softly. He tilted her head so that it was on his shoulder, "It will get better. One way or another..it will get better. You have to believe that." "I just wish I knew if he was totally lost to me," she replied, accepting the warmth and friendship of his semi-embrace. It was getting harder and harder to be the strong one. "Just keep the faith," Xander responded, not willing to tell her what he suspected. She couldn't deal with that reality yet and he wasn't about to hurt her. The idea that she could never love and be loved by Angel would devastate her. "Thanks..you're a good friend, Xander." Buffy said with a laugh. She looked up from his shoulder and across the dance floor and then she smiled, "Looks like you're on, Romeo." "Huh? What? Oh...oh man." Xander swallowed hard. "Do..do I look okay?" She grinned, "You look great. Go. She won't know what hit her." He leaned across and kissed her on the cheek, "Thanks. Oh, man...oh man." Taking a deep breath, he started his slow walk across the dance floor to where his girlfriend, Cordelia Chase was standing with her friends. He glanced back at Buffy and she brushed him forward with a wave of her hand. He nodded and continued his slow walk. "Cordelia..hi..uh..hi," Xander said, suddenly shy. She looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Xander..hi.." she looked at her friends and sighed, "We..we need to talk." she reached out and grabbed his arm. "Alone." "Alone, okay..yeah..alone is good with me." He looked back at Buffy and flashed her a huge grin. She gave him a thumbs' up and then he turned and followed Cordelia outside into the cool air. As soon as he felt the ice of winter sweep across his arms, he leaned forward and pulled Cordelia towards him. Grinning, he kissed her. She murmured her consent and wrapped her arms around his chest. They stood like that for a couple of moments and then she pushed him away. "We need to talk." "No, we don't," Xander chuckled, leaning forward again. She put a palm flat on his chest and kept him at bay. "This is serious. It's about us." "Oh?" Suddenly his eyes snapped open, "Oh! Right..I got.." "Xander.." "No..no..I got something for you.." "Xander.." "It's kind of like a reminder of us, ya know..." "Xander, there is no us." "And it's..huh? wait a minute..I must have wax in my ears because I could swear you just said.." "I did..Xander..this isn't working." Cordelia replied, refusing to make eye contact. He reached forward and placed a hand under her chin," I don't accept that. I can't.." She looked up at him and for a moment she allowed her cheek to slide against his palm and then she shook her head, "We should have known better from the start, Xander...this isn't you...this isn't me." "Is that what your friends told you?" She looked down at the ground and then looked back up at him, "Please..don't make this harder than it needs to be. God..this just makes more sense. Isn't that a good enough reason?" "No.." "Well, it is for me," she whispered, turning to walk away from him. He reached out and grabbed her arm. He looked up at her with such wide and openly hurt eyes that she almost caved. "Please..just..please." And with that she pushed away from him. He watched for a moment and then shook his head. "No...no..not good enough." Mustering up both his anger and courage, he followed her into the Bronze. He scanned the room and finally spotted her over by the bar, hands spread wide on the counter as if she were trying to calm herself. "How long have you been planning this?" Xander asked as he approached. She looked up at him and quickly pulled herself together. "Xander.." "Well, you want to know what I've been planning?" He laughed, "Not like it matters now." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. Hand shaking, he handed it to her. She took it from him, "It's beautiful." "It yours." She stared at the silver heart for a long moment and then shook her head and whispered, "I can't take this." "Why not..you can use the edges to stab someone else through the heart. If you hit 'em just right, it won't hurt that much." "That's not fair." "And this is? Is it them? Can they not handle me?" Xander hissed, pointing dramatically at the small group of cliquers that had gathered a few feet away. "There are things.." then she closed her eyes and looked up at him. "Look..it's just over. Dont make a big deal of it. It was fun..it's over." She turned away from him and dropped the necklace on to the counter. Then she moved away from him and past her friends who were attempting to tell her that they were sorry but they knew that the romance never had a chance. "Xand?" "This isn't happening." He laughed. "What am I talking about..of course it is. I'm the idiot here." He looked at Buffy. "What was I thinking?" She wrapped her arms around him, "The same thing I was." - -Fin - - ------------------------------ End of Buffyfic-digest V2 #29 ***************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffyfic to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)