From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (Buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: Buffyfic-digest V2 #58 Reply-To: buffyfic@xmission.com Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk Buffyfic-digest Tuesday, March 17 1998 Volume 02 : Number 058 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Re: Buffyfic-digest V2 #57 BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" (5/?) by Ingrid Re: BUFFYFIC: I know that we're only supposed to address fics, but please read this!! BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe Re: BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question Re: BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" (5/?) by Ingrid BUFFYFIC: Hope (28/?) BUFFYFIC: Hope (29/?) BUFFYFIC: Hope (30/?) BUFFYFIC: The End of The Innocence 2/5 See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 17:17:52 EST From: Slyr Buffy Subject: BUFFYFIC: Re: Buffyfic-digest V2 #57 Could you please unsubscribe me? Thank you - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 17:28:51 -0500 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" (5/?) by Ingrid DISCLAIMER: Willow, Spike, Angelus, Drusilla and Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Kuzui, Sandollar, and Mutant Enemy. I make no $. Don't sue me, guys! SUMMARY: Some more Spike/Willow madness! Now all you people who keep asking me what has happened to Buffy, Drusilla, and Angel can get a little peek into the history of this story. If you don't get this, that's 'cause you haven't read the other parts. If you want them, write to me at Ingrid29@juno.com. Also, comments are fun to get. Tell me if I'm doing a good job! RATING: I don't know. I hate rating these things. PG? PG-13? Something like that. There's an itty-bitty make-out session (nothing much at all). That's it! ********************** "Footsteps" by Ingrid Part Five ********************** The apartment was new to her- she’d never been in Angel’s home as a vampire or as a human. It was as still as a crypt, and the cement walls certainly reminded her of one. There were a few things placed about haphazardly, apparently for decorative purposes. Some decoration. A little carved statuette encased in glass stood as a display near one wall, and there was an old dusty bed in the corner. She supposed that everything had remained intact since his change. That had been eons ago. She remembered the her fish in the envelope and grimaced. She didn’t like Angelus. It was something she’d picked up from Spike, and that she’d observed during her first week at the warehouse, despite the fact that most of it had been a result of Drusilla. She looked at the bed again, and suddenly something pink peeking out from under the sheets attracted her attention. She drifted to the bed and sat down. It was Buffy’s shirt, she realized, and an odd feeling passed over her as a twinge of her old life returned transiently. Where was Buffy, anyway? Somewhere in Europe. Probably Transylvania by now, she thought with a wry twitch of her lips. The slayer’s distance allowed Willow to remember Buffy fondly. If she were here trying to stake her old friend now, it would have been an entirely different story, she thought. Spike startled her when he sat down behind her. She almost jumped until she looked back over her shoulder to meet his incredulity. "Willow," he whispered calmly as he smoothed the shoulder of her dress with one hand. "Vampires aren’t supposed to be this jumpy." "I know," she answered, watching her feet, "but they aren’t supposed to want to take care of others, or to harbor affection, or-" Spike stroked her hair, running his fingers through the auburn locks and caressing her cheek. Before the silence began to set in, he pulled her into a long, sweet kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her towards him. Reluctantly, she let her concerns fly away; kissed him back gently. She slid her fingers through the bleached hair at the base of his skull, enjoying the rush that was beginning to lift her heart. She felt him nuzzle her throat and almost cried out. She was melting into him, and it was wonderful to just let herself go. Her thoughts returned to plague her suddenly. "Spike, what if they come back?" She barely managed to get the words out. They seemed to be stuck in her throat. He continued to press his lips to her neck languorously as he answered. "They won’t. They’ll be there forever with the slayer chasing them like she is. And I have every confidence that Angelus can take care of the both of them." "What if he can’t?" He stopped, disturbed by the thought. He looked pained. "Maybe it’ll be better for her then." "You don’t mean that." He winced. "I do," and paused. "I finally do." She almost squirmed at the intensity she saw in his eyes. It was indescribable. She attempted a pained smile to cover it up, but then another thought struck her. "What if Buffy-" "As much as I hate to admit this, the slayer is strong. She will not give in easily. They won’t come back, Willow." She looked at him doubtfully. "They won’t. And if they do… Nothing’s going to change this." The silence was as resolute as he seemed, and she trusted him. After all, hadn’t it been his footsteps she’d grown accustomed to day after day? *** >"I myself have never been able to find out >precisely what a feminist is; I only know >that people call me a feminist whenever I >express sentiments that differentiate me >from a doormat." > --Rebecca West, 1913 > _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 18:40:02 -0500 (EST) From: Jeff Reid Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: I know that we're only supposed to address fics, but please read this!! On Sun, 15 Mar 1998, Somalilly wrote: > Vote for SMG!!! > please? sorry to bother those of you who only like getting fics.. > shes currently in third place-vote!!! > Cover Poll For those of use with better internet providers, you can vote at: http://www.pathfinder.com/teenpeople/gdml3/topten20.html Sorry, for the off-topic post. - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 19:45:29 -0800 (PST) From: moonsw Subject: BUFFYFIC: unsubscribe unsubsribe buffyfic-digest - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 20:37:07 EST From: GothGirl77 Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" Hi I just got subbed to the Buffy list and I don't have parts 1-4 of Footsetps. Can you send them to me? Thanx in advance, Nastassia - - ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 22:11:14 EST From: LMcint6188 Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question Im on the willfic list. Im sure people would enjoy it there too.... Lins - - ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 20:08:29 EST From: Greeneteen Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: "Footsteps" (5/?) by Ingrid can u please send me the missing parts? i just signed on. thanks. - - ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 17:38:20 PST From: "Sara Barton" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope (28/?) Author: Sara B. Sara114@hotmail.com Rating: Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part. Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!) Everything else belongs to me! Author's note: This is your usual generic story. Angel is still good, so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen. Willow and Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will take some time so be patient with me. I'm not very good at story telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback. I don't care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it. ***Yes! I have finally gotten another part written. Ah...Writer's block is pure hell. Sorry this took so long, and thanks for being patient. Happy reading!*** Part 28 PG Buffy, Hope, and Jenny trudged through the thick field. The Slayer stared into the vast emptiness of her surroundings. She bent down and picked a flower, smelling it. The aroma was so familiar. Buffy stopped walking as she stared at the flower. “Wait.” Her two friends paused and looked at her. “What’s wrong, Buffy?” Hope asked. Buffy’s eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open as she realized why everything seemed so familiar to her. “The endless fields, the wild flowers, the trees. This is it. This is where I was.” Jenny looked around. “What do you mean, this is where you were?” “In my dream. I was here. I remember it all.” Buffy spun around, looking at everything. “Why didn’t I see this before?” “Are you sure this is where you were? It’s just a field.” Hope said. Buffy nodded earnestly. “Yes, I am sure. I know it and I can feel it...” her voice trailed off. Suddenly, without warning, the silence was shattered by a loud explosion. A blast of heat swarmed them as they turned and saw a fireball rise above the small grouping of trees. They watched it, shocked. The black cloud hovering over started to move like a spiral, as the sky thundered, and the wind gusted. “Oh god, we are too late.” Buffy uttered. ******** Xander, Cordelia, Willow, and Giles sat in the Watchers car, waiting for a sign, waiting for Buffy to come and tell them everything was okay, waiting for danger. Willow sat, fidgeting with so much worry she was unable to keep still. “Do you think they are okay?” She managed to say. “I certainly hope so,” Giles answered. “No, no, I don’t think they are,” she said, shaking her head. “They ARE,” Cordelia said. “They have to be. Buffy is the Slayer, and she has Hope, and Ms. Calendar. They just have to be.” “Who are you trying to fool? Us, or yourself?” Xander said. “Both,” she whispered quietly. “Listen, I think we should go help Buffy. We can’t just sit here and wonder whether or not she is okay,” Xander said. When Giles didn’t respond, Xander yelled at him, anger filling his voice. “What are we waiting for? Her death notice?! Her lifeless body?! We HAVE to go help them!” “Calm yourself, Xander. We can’t just go barging in on an army of vampires.” Giles scolded him. “It is just too dangerous.” “Dangerous or not, I’m going to go help her!” Xander exclaimed, opening his car door. “Army or not, she needs me. She needs *all of us*.” He stepped outside. “Are you coming?” He turned to face the field. “I can still see them. They are--” he paused, “Oh my God.” “What? What’s wrong?!” Cordelia yelled. She got out of the car. “Wha--whoa!” Willow and Giles stared out the front window in astonishment as they watched a fireball emerege from the grove. “Holy Shit,” Willow said. “I don’t give a damn what you think right now, Giles. I am going to go help Buffy whether you go or not!” He said, and ran to Buffy. “Wait! Xander, come back!” Giles yelled. Xander slowed down and turned around. “What?” “Get in the car. We are all going to help her,” Giles told him. Xander came back to the car and got in. Giles turned the key in the ignition, and drove into the field toward Buffy. ********* Buffy choked back her tears. “We are too late.” Hearing the rumble of an engine, she spun around to see Giles old car barreling straight for them. Her Watcher came to a screeching halt inches in front of her. Her friend got out of the car and walked over to her. “Are you okay?” he asked, gently. She shook her head. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she assured him, and wiped her eyes. “What are we going to do? Angel is probably dead by now.” “Don’t say that. We don’t know what caused that fireball. He may not even be there,” Giles said. “Don’t try to make me feel better with false hope, Giles. He’s gone. I can feel it.” She shuddered. “There is always a chance. We can’t give up now,” Hope said. “Yeah, right. Whatever.” Buffy said, her voiced dripping with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes. “So what? Your just going to give up now? No. I don’t think so,” Hope said, “I may have not known you for very long, but I do know that you’re not a quitter. You don’t give up easily in tough situations. You are the Slayer, and if you give up then your basically signing the death warrant for all of us. You have overcome so much. Don’t just throw that all away. Yes, this is a tough situation, and the pressure is on big time, but you can’t give up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and FIGHT! Fight for yourself, fight for your family and your friends. But most of all, for Angel. He needs you. We all need you.” Everyone was shocked, especially Buffy. She got tears in her eyes, and gave Hope a big hug. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” “It’s okay,” she whispered. They parted, and Buffy smiled. She turned to her friends. “She is right. We can do this. And we will. I will.” ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 17:42:18 PST From: "Sara Barton" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope (29/?) Author: Sara B. Sara114@hotmail.com Rating: Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part. Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!) Everything else belongs to me! Author's note: This is your usual generic story. Angel is still good, so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen. Willow and Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will take some time so be patient with me. I'm not very good at story telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback. I don't care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it. Part 29 “Hello Angelus,” the woman crooned. “It’s been along time.” “Too long,” he said. “I’ve missed you.” “Have you? Prove it,” she said. He grabbed her and pulled her near, placing his mouth on hers. Their passionate kiss was interrupted. “Enough with the kissy kissy. It’s time for our party,” Spike said. “Ooohh, yes. Our party. I want to go now, luv,” Drusilla said, pressing herself against Spike. He smiled at her. “You always know how to turn me on,” he said, and kissed her. Pulling away, he yelled to the minions. “Well? What the fuck are you all waiting for? Bring us the cars.” They scampered away. “So how do you feel?” Spike asked Angel. “Better than I’ve ever felt before. I can easily get used to this.” “Well you will feel even better once we get to the Hellmouth.” “Can’t wait,” he said. Spike started to walk away, but Angel pulled him back. “Thanks, man.” Spike looked at him funny. “Thanks for what?” Angel laughed. “Thanks for pounding me on the head with that damn bat. Of course if it had been any other situation, I’d have to kick your ass, but this is an exception.” “What the hell do you mean by that?” Spike asked. “If you hadn’t hit me, I wouldn’t have gotten my amnesia, and I wouldn’t have so easily gone through with this,” Angel said, grinning. Spike was taken back. “Oh, so you remember everything now?” Angel nodded. “Yep, every last bit of it. I remember that damn curse, my 80 years of self wallowing, and that damn slayer.” “I am sure glad your back, Angelus. I was getting sick and tired of your whole ‘I’m-a good-vampire-now’ routine.” Spike said with bitterness in his voice. “What can I say? I was going through a phase,” Angel laughed. “But I’m over it. And I’m over the Slayer. In fact, I can’t wait to see her later.” “What?” Spike asked suspiciously. “I said, I can’t wait to see her later. That is, the look on her pretty little face when she sees the new me for the first and only time.” “Only time?” “Right...only time. Should I kill her before or after I kill her friends?” Spike smiled. “You just gave me an incredible idea.” “Do tell,” Angel said, very interested in what his fellow vampire had to say. “I’ll tell you when we get there. Just follow me,” he told him. One of the vampires escorted his Master to the car. Angel got into the driver’s seat, with the woman beside him. Spike and Drusilla got into the car in front of them. Angel started his vehicle and drove through the grove, close behind Spike, running over trees and anything else in his path. The woman laughed. “You were never good at driving,” she said. He turned and looked at her. “But there is other things I am an expert at.” “Well then, you will definately have to show me your expertise.” He smiled. “It’s not like I haven’t before.” The two cars barreled though the field and onto the old road, with three large vans of vampires taking up the rear. Spike laughed in the car. “This will be a night to remember for our pretty little slayer friend. She will NEVER forget it.” ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 17:46:51 PST From: "Sara Barton" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hope (30/?) Author: Sara B. Sara114@hotmail.com Rating: Varies...will be posted at beginning of each part. Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, yada yada yada belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox.... I'm just borrowing them, (although I wish Angel was mine!) Everything else belongs to me! Author's note: This is your usual generic story. Angel is still good, so basically in my story surprise/innocence didn't happen. Willow and Oz are together, and Xander and Cordy are still hiding their secret utility closet rondevu's. This is going to be a long story, and will take some time so be patient with me. I'm not very good at story telling, so if this totally sucks and isn't read-worthy, just let me know.Oh yeah, and I want feedback, feedback, and more feedback. I don't care if it's good or bad, just tell me what you thought of it. PART 30 “Do you hear that?” Jenny asked. The group strained to listen for something, and heard the faint sound of an engine. “Sounds like a car,” Cordelia said. “Good job, Einstein,” Xander said sarcastically. “Shut up, Harris,” she snapped. Buffy stared off into the distance, as her eyes grew wide in fear. “GET IN THE CAR!!!” Buffy screamed. She pushed Willow into the back seat and got into the car. Her friends were bewildered as they looked in the direction of the loud rumbling. Two cars and three vans came charging through the field, in their direction. “GET IN HERE NOW!!!!” Buffy screamed again, as her friends jumped into the car. They shut the door and Giles desperately tried to start it, but it failed. “What are you waiting for!” Cordelia screamed. “It won’t start!” Giles yelled back at her. “Well do something!” She screamed back, her face full of fright. “I’m trying, I’m trying!” He panicked. Giles turned the key and pumped the gas, but the car refused to start. “Start, damnit! Start you piece of junk!” “I told you to get a new car Giles!” Buffy screamed. She looked at Willow who stared in shock at out the front window. She reached over and grabbed her friend and hugged her. Hope and Jenny clung to each other in the front seat. “Oh God! Here they come....DUCK!!!” Xander yelled. He threw himself over the three girls in the back and the seven friends crouched and braced themselves for the oncoming impact. ******* The group sat, bracing for their lives, their bodies tense and minds full of fear. Ten seconds later the loud rumbling died down, till it could no longer be heard. Giles slowly peeked his head up out the window to see nothing but field and trees. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief as the pounding of his heart slowed down. “Are we dead?” Cordelia’s muffled voice said. Giles almost laughed with relief, but restrained. “No, Cordelia. We are alive.” “Oh good,” she said. “Xander get off of me!” “Why, Cordelia? I kind of like this,” he replied with a snicker. “Would you like my fist in your face?” She said. “I’m off, I’m off,” he said, lifting himself off of her, Buffy, and Willow. “What was that?” Hope said, running her fingers through her tangled hair. “More like *who* was that,” Giles said. “My guess is Spike and Drusilla,” Buffy breathed. “Well what ever it was, there is another one coming!” Willow’s shaky voice yelled. They looked up to see another van coming straight for them. “Not again!” Cordelia shouted. Giles tried to start the car again as the van came closer and closer to colliding with them. Vibrations flowed through the vehicle as the old engine started. “Yes! Yes!” Giles said with glee. He slammed on the accelerator and turned the wheel sharply to the right, just as the van hit the side of the automobile. ********* “What the hell are you doing?!” Marcus asked angrily at his friend David as he tried to keep himself from hitting the dashboard. “I’m sorry! The van hit a bump and I lost control!” he replied. “Oh yeah, sure, whatever,” Marcus grumbled. “It’s true!” David exclaimed, then burst into laughter. “Did you see that car fly? It must have flipped about 3 times! I wonder if there was anybody in there?” Marcus glared at him. “Probably not. The car was just sitting there. It most likely broke down and was abandoned. I can’t believe you hit it. Spike is going to be so pissed at us.” “Why?” David asked, turning the large van onto the road. He sped up to try and catch up with the other vampires. “I’ll tell you why....because there is probably a huge dent in the front of this thing, and we just stole it yesterday! That’s why.” “You worry to much, man,” David said with a laugh. “Lighten up.” “I’ll be saying that to you when Spike is kicking your ass from here to China.” Marcus grumbled. “We’d better hurry and catch up with them. We can’t be late for the Master’s party,” David said. “I can’t believe Angelus is the Master now. Out of all vampires. I remember when he was killing his own kind with his Slayer girlfriend.” “Hmph. The Slayer. What’s her name? Buffy?” David asked. Marcus nodded his head. “Damn, she is a babe, isn’t she? I’d like to get closer with her, if you know what I mean,” David said with a sly grin. “The day you try and get close with her is the day Angel appoints you as the Vessel. Besides, if you tried anything with her she would tear you up. Have you ever seen her fight?” Marcus said. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen her fight. I love watching her in those short little skirts and tight dresses.” Marcus rolled his eyes. “Is that all you think about?” “When it comes to her I do,” he said. Marcus laughed despite David’s answer. “You are hopeless,” he said, as they drove off toward the Hellmouth. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - - ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 17 Mar 1998 03:45:36 EST From: Trey Cash Subject: BUFFYFIC: The End of The Innocence 2/5 Title: The End of the Innocence Pt 2/5 Author: Alex Queirolo & Erika Rottler Email: treycash@aol.com, Sasheer@Aol.com Distribution: Just ask. Feedback: Absolutely! Please..we're eager to know what y'all thought of our collaboration. Drop us a line. Rating: PG-14 at best..extreme situations..see CONTENT WARNING below. Spoilers: When She Was Bad..basically everything up until PASSION. *** AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story takes about three months after "I Will Survive" and "That Was the Day". In this time-line, everything up until "Passion" occured but that is where they split. For the important back story, please read "I Will Survive". CONTENT WARNING: We need to be up-front about this; this piece is NOT meant for minors to read. It tells of graphic violent events and speaks rather frankly of sexual situations. However, there is no actual sex involved in this piece. It is rather unflinching and at points crude. We hope you will agree however that nothing is out of place. Again, this story contains violence, intense language, extreme angst and rather explicit discussions of sexual situations. DISCLAIMER: The only character in this piece that belongs to us is Asher. All of the others belong to Joss "Da Man" Whedon and Co. Them are gods..we are students. No bad is meant by this. *** And then there was no hold. Willow blinked and watched as the dust scattered into the soft breeze. Looking up she saw Angel staring back at her with concern in his eyes. "Are you alright?" She felt quickly at her neck to ensure that no biting had taken place and then she nodded, "Fine, but Buffy needs help." Angel glanced over to Buffy and his eyes widened in suprise as he watched the young Slayer dance around with a large red and blue throw blanket. And to make it that much worse, she was yelling "Toro, toro" at the two growling vampires that were advancing upon her. "What the hell is wrong with her?" Angel demanded, his eyes never leaving her. She was jumping all over the place, moving as if she were attached to springs. "The brownies were laced," Cordelia breathed as she and Xander trotted up to them. "Pot," Oz nodded. "Wow. Sinister." Angel gave him a look and then shook his head. "How much did she ingest? You guys are all relatively normal." Xander made a face and then replied, "Only like most of them." Then he turned around and decked a vampire that had thought it was sneaking up on them. Reaching down, Xander grabbed a stick and slew the vamp. "Lesson number one, dumbass..in the forest...there is an abundance of staking material. Duh?" Angel rolled his eyes, "Oh the fun." With a loud sigh, he moved swiftly towards where Buffy was now spinning herself in circles and chanting in strange accents much to the amusement of her two attackers. "Buffy," Angel said sharply, grabbing her shoulder, "Get ahold of yourself." "Angel!" Buffy chirped. "My Angel." Then she pointed at the snarling vampires. "They don't want to play with me. Make them play. Pleaseeeee." "Buffy, snap out of it!" Angel ordered, lashing out with a kick that drove one of the vamps backwards and to the ground. To his horror, the little Slayer then began to snap her fingers to a rythym only she could hear. Angel shook his head in disbelief and then turned around and hit her soundly across the face. Not hard enough to hurt or even bruise her but hopefully enough to ring some bells. Buffy staggered backwards and fell to her butt, a hand upon her cheek. "Sorry," Angel shrugged as he made quick work of the remaining vamps. He immediately dropped to his knees beside her and helped her up. He placed a hand over the one of hers that was still rested on her cheek and said softly, "You need to.." "No lectures," Buffy groaned, grabbing his arm and using it to steady her. "I had a chocolate craving and then I had the munchies. How the hell was I supposed to know?" "Buffy?" Two voices called out in unison from about fifty feet away. Buffy looked up and groaned. "Oh hey, just in time. You missed Spike's welcome to nature party." Buffy informed Giles and Jenny. They exchanged worried glances. "Are you alright?" Giles asked. "For God's sake, what happened?" "Vampires." Oz told them with a nod. "And brownies," Buffy mumbled, taking her seat and pulling Angel down with her. Then she looked up at Giles and Jenny. "I'm fine. We're all fine. It was...an experience." "You're sure you're alright?" Jenny asked. "Yeah, thanks to Angel." Willow said, taking a seat next to Oz. Almost immediately an uneasy silence fell over the group. Then Jenny smiled, "Um, I think we're tired...isn't that right, Rupert." She grinned. "Us old ones need our rest. G'night kids." Giles made as if to protest but Jenny grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the vans. They didn't have to share but everyone pretty much assumed they would anyways. "Um, yes, well..goodnight." Giles finally stammered before disappearing. "Well that was weird," Buffy murmured. "Them and the vampires. But it was awfully nice of Spike to send a welcoming party." Willow giggled and pointed at her, "You should have seen yourself though, Buffy..it was really funny." Both Oz and Xander joined in the laughter. "You even killed one by accident." Xander chuckled. "Maybe we should give you laced brownies more often." "Ha ha..real funny." Buffy replied, sticking out her tongue at Xander and then curling further into Angel's leather jacket. He looked down at her and smirked. "It's not funny at all," Cordelia said quietly. Everyone looked up at her and blinked. Her tone was so low and shaky that none of them were quite convinced that she'd actually spoken. She swallowed hard and said, "Someone could have been seriously hurt." "Cordy, what are you talking about?" Xander asked, reaching for her hand. She evaded it and laced her fingers together. "It's just.." she paused and took a moment to think before whispering, "These things aren't all fun and games. Horrible things can happen and things can go very..very wrong." There was a loud silence interrupted only by the crackling of the fire as the group waited for her to continue. Closing her eyes, she began to speak in a voice so small that the group had to lean forward to hear her. "Back in eighth grade, if you wanted to be anything, you had to be a cheerleader so I was. I was the captain of the team..it was a great honor..everyone looked up to me. Anyways, mid year, the team went to Culver Hills for a retreat..kind of like this except we were in cabins. Our coach that year was Jim Nordhoff." "Didn't he teach math?" Willow asked. Cordelia nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah, yeah, he did. No matter what he taught..we all wanted to be in it. All of us girls had a crush on him. He was young, cute and he loved to hang with us. He acted like one of us and never made us feel like children." She paused a beat and licked her lips. "On the second night of the retreat, he started passing around joints. None of us had ever tried it and some of us were scared but he said it was alright so we believed him. After about an hour of us smoking it and getting really..really high, he stood up and said that he needed to talk to me about new routines. I was the captain..it made sense at the time. I didn't think anything of it." Willow reached over and handed her a paper cup of water. "Here." Cordelia nodded, drank from it but still didn't look up. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Um...I met him in his cabin..he had one all to himself..after everyone else had gone back to the main one. I thought it was strange when he locked the door but he told me that we were at a camp with other teams and these routines were our secret. God..I can still remember the tone he used when he called it 'our secret'. It was so sneaky and it creeped me." She laughed bitterly. "And then he kissed me and all I could remember thinking at first was 'this is the routine?' I was so stunned that I didn't even realize what was happening and I was so high that I'm not sure I really cared at first. I kept thinking that it was so neat and that all of the other girls would be jealous. I mean..Coach Nordhoff..it was like some pre-pubescent fantasy or something like that. But when he took off my shirt, I knew something wasn't right. I knew. I know I did. And he didn't stop there. I started crying and begging him to stop. Maybe even yelling but it didn't matter." She looked at her hands and stared at the empty cup for a few moments. "After it was over, he leaned down to me and said 'Cordelia...the unattainable black beauty...every guy wants you..every girl wants to be you.' And then he kissed me on the cheek and left. After the door shut, I just cried. I couldn't think of anything else." She laughed again. "And you know..he didn't touch me the rest of the year. I stayed on the team because if I had left..I dunno..I just couldn't do that. It would have been uncool. Couldn't have that. Anyways, on the last day of school, when we were getting our letters, he whispered in my ear, 'Remember what I taught you, Cordelia..you were great.' He transferred to Jackson the next year. Last I heard, he was leading up the champion junior high cheerleading squad for the school. And me...I can't help but wonder if he's done what he did to me to some other girl and if maybe I couldn't have stopped it." "Cordy.." Xander whispered. She shook her head feverishly, silencing him. And for a long moment, that was all there was and then she pushed herself up and away. "I...I..I.." she stammered before tossing the cup down and walking away towards the tents. Buffy immediately stood to follow but Xander clamped a hand on her shoulder and very softly whispered, "Let me." Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile of encouragement before retaking the seat next to Angel. She watched Xander move off towards the shadows which Cordy had disappeared into. Then she looked at Willow and Oz. Not surprisingly, they both looked shaken. Oz rose first, offering a hand to Willow. "We're gonna...go for a walk." Buffy nodded, "Don't go out of calling range, okay? We don't know if any more of Spike's crew is around. I doubt it but just to be safe?" "Sure, Buffy." Willow said, taking Oz's hand and allowing him to lead her away. It was clear that she was troubled but Buffy was quick to discover that she herself was also disturbed by Cordelia's tale. She curled closer to Angel and stared out at the fire, watching the flames leap and dance. Angel gazed at her intently, practically seeing the gears grind in her head. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around her and brought her to his chest. *** Her back was to him when he finally found her standing near the area where the tents the Slayerettes were sharing had been set up. She was leaning against a tree, with her palms spread flat on the trunk. She looked very deep in thought but he could tell by her slight trembling that she was hurting. Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her and duck-walked them both into the tent he was sharing with Oz and Jonathon. Thankfully neither of them were present. He pushed her to the ground and then lifted her chin with a finger. "Are you alright?" "I don't need your pity. That's not why I told you what happened." Cordelia snapped, pushing away from him roughly. He caught her hands just as they pushed off of his chest, "This isn't my pity. Dammit, I care about you." He felt anger welling up inside of him. "God, why do you have to.." "Have to what, Xander? Have my pride? I don't even know why I brought it up. I've been at peace.." "Maybe you haven't," Xander countered, trying to reach for her again. She flinched away from him, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Xander. You never do." "I'm not him, Cordy. I'm not." Xander shot back, grabbing her shoulders. She glared daggers at him and said in an equally icy tone, "Drop it." "No, I won't. We need to talk about this." "No, we don't." She said, turning away from him. "I don't need your sympathetic shoulder to cry on. You're not my big teddy bear, Xander." He looked down and away, "You can't do it, can you?" "Excuse me?" "You can't just let go and believe that someone else could actually give a damn about you. You can't help but be the snobby higher-than-thou self- righteous bitch who pushes everyone away before they can get too close. Don't you understand that you've got to? Why can't you let someone else be there for you? Why does it all have to come back to you?" "Damn you," Cordelia growled. "It's gotta be you, though. Doesn't it? You're strong enough to get through everything by yourself, right? Nothing can ever touch you, right? Well, strike three because that's not true. We're here for you..dammit..I'm here for you." "I don't need this," She hissed, shaking her head. "I'm outta here." "No!" He reached out and grabbed her arm. In a quick deliberate motion, he spun her back towards him but what he got was only the flat of her palm against the swell of his cheek and a loud slapping noise to go with it. He dropped her arm in shocked astonishment and then watched as she quickly fled towards the safety of her own tent. *** She felt the coolness of his lips moving down the inside of her shoulder. Moaning, she reached out and pulled him closer to her, hot on cold but fire just the same. He grinned and pressed his mouth to her feverish skin. She moaned his name as his fingers very gently released another button on the flannel she'd thrown on after Xander had gotten tree sap all over her overalls. He continued his voyage down her flesh with his mouth. He'd protested of course. Said that there were too many people around. He'd been shy and that'd been cute but she'd been quick to assure him that everyone else was too busy doing their own thing. Interruptions, she'd murmured as she'd pulled his shirt off, were highly unlikely. And he'd protested again, albeit lightly, when she'd pushed him down onto the row of three sleeping bags laid out on the floor of the girls' tent. Again, she'd silenced him and now suddenly he was the aggressor. She felt the intensity of his kisses increasing and the hold on her small body tightening as he gave in to her. "Buffy.." he protested once more, this time much weaker. "God, shut up, Angel." Buffy moaned, weaving her hand through his thick hair and pressing his face to her collarbone. This time he didn't bother to protest; he swept her into his arms and and then rolled over so that he was atop her. With a growl that was almost a laugh, he pulled loose the last button of her flannel. "What the hell right does he...oh my God.." Cordelia groaned as she pushed the zipper to the tent up and stepped in. She stared at the couple on the floor with abundant disgust and placed her hands on her hips. Immediately, Angel and Buffy separated from each other albeit reluctantly. "God, guys..get a room. Have some dignity." "Sorry," Angel mumbled, grabbing his shirt and slipping out through the tent flap. Buffy hastened to quickly button up her own shirt. "Sorry 'bout that, Cordy." Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Ever heard of discretion? Learn some manners, Slayer." Buffy allowed the words to just roll past her. It was obvious that the taller girl was still venting. To no great surprise, her revelation had bothered her probably more than she's thought it would. After a brief moment, Buffy asked, "Have you ever talked to anyone else about what happened?" Sighing loudly, Cordelia turned around from Buffy. Talking was not high on her wish list at the moment. "Look, Cordy..we are here for you." Cordelia spun and glared at the little Slayer, "So I've heard. Look, I'm fine. I think you guys are having more trouble with this than I am but if you're so interested in what I want..how about you go run off to your boyfriend and have your fun, okay?" Buffy watched Cordelia turn away from her and reach for a magazine. Shaking her head sadly, she grabbed the throw blanket, wrapped it around herself and stepped out of the tent. She rezipped it and then turned to Angel who'd found a comfortable spot in the shadows. "She okay?" Angel asked, stepping behind her and taking the blanket off her shoulders. She whimpered a bit in protest but quieted when he first wrapped his arms around her and then pulled the blanket around the both of them. Not that he needed the warmth but it still worked better. Shaking her head, she sighed, "I think she and Xander had another fight. Newsflash." "Great." Angel said with a small laugh. Then he pointed towards the abandoned camp-fire pit. "Looks like we're sleeping under the stars tonight." Buffy reached up and kissed him. Then she giggled, "Cool. You've been around long enough...you should know all the constellations." He rolled his eyes and laughed. *** It was well after midnight when Willow slipped into the tent. She zipped it back up and then moved to sit next to Cordelia. The taller girl was still flipping through a magazine but it didn't look like she was paying to much attention to what was in it. "Hey Cordelia," Willow whispered softly. "Hi," Cordy replied tersely. "Are..are you alright?" "Willow..please..I really don't want to talk about this." Cordelia said softly, putting the magazine down next to the sleeping bags. She snapped off the little flashlight and turned on her back. Willow nodded, "Sure. Wow, it's cold." She glanced over at the third sleeping bag, "I saw Buffy and Angel out by the fire..I don't think she'll be needing this tonight. You wanna share?' "Sure," Cordelia replied. "Goodnight, Willow." *** "Hey Jonathon, Xander." "Oz," Xander muttered. He was lying atop of his sleeping bag with his hands folded under his head. Oz spared him a concerned look and then reached into his overnight bag and pullled out a deck of blue-backed cards. "Guys up for a game?" Oz asked, casually bridge-shuffling the cards. Jonathon nodded, "Cool." He scooted over on his butt so that he was sitting on the same sleeping bag as Oz. Xander declined with a slight wave of his hand and then turned back to his own thoughts. Damn her. He'd only tried to be there for her. She was his girlfriend and he was only trying to help. Why did she have to be such a bitch about things? Why couldn't she let anyone in? It wasn't like he would ever turn his back on her but just the same, everytime he tried to get close to her, she would push him away. But it wasn't just the pushing, it was the fact that she threw back fire. She was so damn difficult.. "I gotta pee," Xander said suddenly, jumping to his feet. The boys acknowledged him with mutters and then went back to their game. Xander sighed and stumbled out of the tent and into the cool night air. What he really wanted to do was talk to one of the girls but he doubted that they were available. Since Oz had returned to the tent, that probably meant that Will was now shacking up with Cordelia. As for Buffy...well..one glance over to the campfire confirmed that she was unavailable. No, it could probably wait until morning anyways. So what was left to do but return to the tent? "No," he muttered. Shaking his head, he started to walk towards the campfire. Not towards Buffy and Angel who were talking in hushed tones and accenting just about every sentence with kisses but more towards the opening to the dense woods right behind the clearing. He moved slowly and carefully, determined not to alert either the Slayer or her vampiric boyfriend. Damn the two of them and their heightened senses; it sure did make walking across a camp-ground a lot more difficult. Once he cleared the sight, he sighed. A short walk would clear his head. That's what he needed. To stop thinking about Cordelia and how much she infiriated him. Okay it wasn't working. Ah hell. Why did he let her get under his skin. She knew just what to say. How to hurt him. How to make it stick. Xander growled as he felt his anger rising. Gritting his teeth together, he reached out and slammed his fist into a tree. And then immediately howled in pain. "Smart, Harris." Xander scolded himself as he clenched his injured hand. He lifted his knuckles to his mouth and pressed his lip hard against the top of his hand. Backing away from the tree, he began to mutter at it. And then everything went dark when he collided with the ground. *** Angel watched her sleep; her chest rising and falling with every breath. A small smile played delightfully across her delicate features, dancing to a dream he could only guess about. She murmured softly and curled closer to him. If that was possible. Reaching across the slim body that he held protectively against his own, he lifted up her left wrist. He glanced warily at the watch and sighed. Two hours until daybreak. Just long enough to get to relative safety. That being, of course, a dank and very disgusting sewer system. Careful not to pull the blanket off of her, Angel slipped out from under Buffy's still sleeping body. He was well aware that recent events had brought the young Slayer to the point of a complete mental breakdown from both physical and emotional exhaustion. Hopefully this retreat would go a long way in re-energizing her. He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead and then stood to move away. But she knew. She knew when he wasn't holding her and that was all it took to bring her partly back to her waking senses. "Angel?" Buffy murmured, eyes at half-mast and barely aware. "Shh," Angel whispered, leaning over to place a finger lightly against her lips. A moment later he replaced it with his mouth. After a beat, he reluctantly broke away and said very softly,"I gotta go." "Don't go," she murmured. Angel regarded her with an amused grin; she had no idea what the hell she was saying. He traced a hand across her jawline and watched as she pressed her cheek against his hand and tried to fall back to sleep. It was at times like this when it was easy to forget that she was the all-powerful Slayer. Standing up, he moved away from her. She moaned in complaint but he continued his trek around the campfire. He picked up as many large pieces of wood as he could find and tossed them into the fire along with a newspaper. Once he was satisfied that the flame would keep for awhile, he went back over to Buffy and leaned down next to her. "I gotta go. Sunrise is soon," Angel told her softly as he pulled the blanket tighter around her obviously chilled frame. He held her there for a moment and then very gently dropped her back to the ground. Lying flat on his stomache, he brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and kissed her on the forehead. "Get some sleep." Then he stood to leave. "No," she whimpered. And then, looking very much like a small child, she grabbed at him and tried to pull him back down to her so that she could curl into his arms. He broke her grasp gently and kissed her again. First on the chin and then on the lips. "I'll be back tonight," Angel reassured her, again pulling her blanketed body into his arms. "You promise?" Buffy slurred, her eyelids dropping closed. "I do," he replied, kissing her again and then reluctantly moving away from her. He pulled the blanket tight around her once more and then stood. Smiling at what appeared to be her sleeping form, he started for the clearing where he'd parked the rental car. "Hey Angel?" Buffy murmured, her voice thick with sleep. "Yeah?" Angel asked as he turned. "I love you." "I love you too, Buffy. Now go to sleep." *** Daybreak brought peace. As she opened her eyes upon the new day, she felt as though she was completely ready to let it all pass over her. She'd slept well and been woken by nothing but the calm swirl of a nearby creek and the musical chirping of birds on the hunt for breakfast. Yawning, both she and Willow stepped out of their tent. Almost immediately Will giggled and pointed towards the campfire. Cordelia smiled also when she saw Buffy lying curled up in a blanket, still sleeping soundly by a barely flickering fire. "What's Buffy doing out there alone?" Giles asked, coming up from behind the two teens. Jenny Calendar stood at his side. Impossibly, Giles was dressed in a vest but at least he'd tried to be nature-boy; he was wearing a white tee- shirt under the vest instead of a dress shirt. Jenny was decked out in jeans and a flannel. Well at least one of them got it. "I doubt she was alone most of the night, Rupert." Jenny said with a grin. "What? Oh..oh." Giles muttered, looking down. "Right, um, well let's get breakfast started, shall we?" Almost as if a magical switch had been thrown, sleepy forms started to emerge from the other tents at the mention of food. Harmony walked over to them and glanced around, "Well, since you people are going to take forever to get breakfast ready, we're going to those disgusting bathrooms for showers." She then shook her head and walked past Buffy, her foot coming within an inch of the girls' head. Fortunately her head was so high up in the air that she didn't even notice Buffy's hand shoot out to grab her ankle and then stop and change direction. Once Harmony and her posse were gone, Buffy sat up and rubbed at her eyes with her fists. "Man...I really don't like her." Buffy groaned. Willow offered her a hand and pulled her to her feet. Then both girls retreated over to one of the logs and placed the blanket over their knees. "Oh hey..um...where's Xander?" Cordelia asked from where she was standing next to Giles and Jenny. She made a face as Giles handed her a stick of butter to use to grease a metal pan. Buffy shrugged and turned to Oz and Jonathon who were just making their way back from the bathrooms. "Is Xander still in the little boys' room?" "He did go.." Jonathon offered weakly. Oz frowned, "Nine hours ago. He wasn't there when we went...in fact we haven't seen him since last night when he left." "What?" Buffy cried, jumping up. "Are you sure?" "Was he upset?" Cordelia threw in, pushing the butter and pan back into Jenny's hands. Neither of the adults looked too terribly concerned. Oz nodded slowly, "Suppose so. He was kinda moody. We didn't really talk about it." Buffy shook her head and glared at Cordelia, "Of course he was mad, Cordy. You always push so much...I mean...why do you always have to be such a bitch to him?" It was apparent by her tone that even though the adults remained calm, the Slayer was not happy. "Buffy!" Willow gasped. Cordelia glared back at Buffy, eyes sparking fire. "I don't have to explain myself to you and it's none of your damn business what happens between he and I anyways," she spat back. "My question is..why didn't you see him leave, Buffy? I mean you did sleep outside last night..oh wait..you were too busy screwing your boyfriend!" "Guys! Enough dammit!" Willow cried out, stepping between the two girls who looked very much like they were ready to brawl. "We're not solving anything this way,"Oz added. "He's right," Giles said, placing a hand on Buffy's shoulder. He gave her a hard look and kept it steady until she backed down from her fighting position. She took a deep breath and then nodded. "I'm sure that Xander just wandered off..he's probably fine. Just the same, we should organize a search party." "Right," Jenny said with a nod. "Why don't the four of you.." she made a sweeping gesture to include Buffy, Willow, Oz and Cordelia, "go down to the creek and look. Rupert and I will check some of the other camp-sites. Jonathon, wait here in case he returns. Tell the other girls to stick when they get back.Okay, gang?" There were general nods of agreement and then Buffy murmured, "We should get some supplies just in case Xander did get himself into trouble." TBC... - - ------------------------------ End of Buffyfic-digest V2 #58 ***************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffyfic to majordomo@xmission.com. 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