From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #173 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Sunday, May 10 1998 Volume 02 : Number 173 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS:Charlotte Sometimes (Part 9) BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Notes in prep for posting BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Prologue BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (2/2) BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (1/2) BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 10) BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 11) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 11:34:33 -0400 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS:Charlotte Sometimes (Part 9) I like it. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 11:55:08 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Notes in prep for posting Okay...I finished something of a novella last week, and I've been revising, etc, all week long. I'm going to be posting it at the rate of one or two chapters a day, as interest dictates-- which means, if people want to see more or less of it at a time, they've gotta _tell_ me. I'll be sending out the prologue in about twenty minutes, because I need to change the format, etc. Anyway. This is definately the biggest undertaking I've had in the Buffyverse, and I'm extremely, extremely eager to hear about how I've done. So _please_, if you only ever comment to me on _one_ thing I've written (not that you can't do more and I don't REALLY hope you do more!), make this that one? Thanks all, and the prologue will hit mailboxes in a few minutes, Rachel ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 12:01:52 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Prologue Feedback: YES! I cannot express how desperately I want feedback on this one! Distribution: Not without my *express* permission. Notes: This story has a prologue and 13 chapters, which makes numberings difficult. Please grant me a slight amont of latitude, until I get some sort of workable system going. Thank you. Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply. ~ "Part Zero: In the Beginning..." Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: November 24th, 2002, Late Night. She was shivering. The night was cold, and Buffy Summers was freezing. Her stakes were behind a gravestone a few feet away, and instead of them, she clutched a black candle tight in her hand. There was a zippo lighter with a broken heart on it in the other-- she'd seen it earlier in the week and been unable to resist the irony. Four years, and they had been far too long. It had come time for there to be an end to things as they stood, and Buffy was ready to meet her destiny, whatever that was going to be. Four years were too long to have been living with a broken heart. Angelus. She could feel him, coming closer by the second. He knew she was out here. She swallowed, fighting back the sudden nausea that rose up inside her when she thought of him. The _thing_ in her love's body, the _thing_ that had kept them apart for so long. She'd kill it, tonight. She took a breath, closing her eyes and concentrating on the feelings of everything around her. Energy was pulsing through this place, and if she tuned herself carefully enough, she could draw the thin connections between objects. Her Slayer's sense would be able to pick out exactly where he was, as soon as he came close. She took a breath, sipping in the clear, cold air. Wondering how much longer it was going to be before Angelus arrived, wondering if she would forget the incantation at the last moment, wondering all manner of things as she waited. Out of nowhere, she heard a hiss, and a large mass rammed her to the ground. The zippo and the candle flew from her hands and into the grass, and Buffy found herself staring up into Angelus' cold, cruel eyes, her wrists pinned to the ground above her head. "Buffy," Angelus snarled, a pseudo-sympathetic expression on his face, "I'm sorry, but I think this game of cat-and-mouse has gone on long enough." His lips twisted into a sort of grin. "I heard you were planning on cursing me again tonight." He shook his head. "Sorry, babe. Ain't gonna happen." Then his smile widened slightly. "However...I did think maybe I could give _you_ something." Struggling through his words, Buffy was trying to squirm loose. But in the years since he'd been re-possessed, Angelus' strength had increased-- and now she had to admit, she might be in over her head. But all she needed was that candle, and the lighter... Angelus took a moment to reposition her arms, and now he was holding them down with one hand. Buffy struggled harder, knowing something was wrong-- she should have been able to break this grip, and yet she could barely move. He pulled a small cardboard figure out of the back pocket of his jeans, and it took Buffy a moment to realize it was wrapped in black ribbon. "See this?" he asked. "Know what it means?" She glared up at him, trying to work her legs up to a point where she would have the leverage to force him off her and get back up. "I've bound you," he said, his tone almost an academic one. "That means you can't fight me, Buffy. You don't have a chance." He leaned in and smiled. "Isn't that lovely?" She glared up. "Fucking beautiful," she snapped. "Liar." He rolled his eyes. "Buffy, come _on_," he said. "Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that you've broken out of grips like this. I could get up and we could fight again, if you want me to prove it to you." There was a smirk on his face as he said the words. "Major turn on, you know." "Fine," she said, glaring. "So let me up, and we'll see." He appeared to consider for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah. It'll be much more exciting the way I've got things planned." Slipping the figure back into his pocket, he slid his free hand down her throat, pushing her head to one side. To her horror, Buffy found she was powerless to stop him. There was a sharp laugh as Angelus saw comprehension dawning in her expression. Then he bent down and affixed his fangs to her throat. The moment his fangs penetrated her flesh, Buffy realized she was in trouble, and in it deep. His lips had locked against her, and she could feel him slowly draining her. After a few seconds, she began to feel lightheaded, and it was only then that Angelus pulled away from her, blood trickling from the corner of his lips. He smiled down on her, stroking her hair with one hand. "See, Buffy?" he asked. "We can be together now, you know." "In your dreams," she hissed, but she could barely make her eyes focus on him. "Every night," he chuckled. Then he let her hands go completely and, still sitting on her, pulled a knife from his jacket, making a swipe across his wrist. "Time for Buffy to have a little snack," he said. Buffy tried to twist away, but succeeded only in getting her hand behind the gravestone where she had placed the stakes. She swallowed hard as Angel reached down toward her, and shut her mouth tight. The vampire was too busy pinning her nose closed with the hand that was holding the knife to realize she had pulled one of the stakes out. Had Buffy not been ready to faint from lack of both blood and oxygen, she probably wouldn't have done what she did. But she was, and she couldn't think clearly enough to stop herself. If Angelus hadn't been so intent on turning her into a vampire, he would have seen the stake earlier. As it was, neither realized what the Slayer was doing until the stake connected with Angelus' chest, driving through once-- and missing his heart. Buffy jerked it back out as she heard Angelus howl in pain. She felt something cold and hot slice through her throat, then drive itself into her belly, and the last thing she felt before the darkness took her was the stake finding its target and then falling onto her gut as the pressure there suddenly lightened and disappeared. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 12:11:53 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (2/2) This is the second half of the first chapter, as the entire chapter was more than 250 lines. Please send all comments to KylenRevik@aol.com. If you miss any parts, please e-mail me and I will send them to you privately. ~ Place: Chase Residence. Time: May 19th, 1:34 p.m. Three sharp knocks on the door and a few seconds' wait, then the door started to open. Xander held his breath. He didn't know what he was expecting. What could have changed about Cordelia, after all? She would, Xander was sure, still be the shallow, petty, spiteful, gorgeous good-kisser-and-then-some she'd been when he'd left Sunnydale after receiving news of Buffy's death. Then the door was open and she was standing there, in front of him. She'd gained a little weight, though she was still on the slender side. Her hair was down, framing her face, and she was wearing a trendy but plain blouse with a matching pair of slacks. Their eyes fell upon each other, and for a moment Xander wondered if it had been more than the decade he remembered since they had last spoken-- she'd changed that much. There was an air of maturity about her that hadn't been in the Sunnydale U fashion- design major he'd broken an engagement with. "Xander?" she asked. "My God, you haven't changed at all!" He managed a weak smile. "Don't say that, I'd hate to think I looked like this ten years ago." She smiled slightly, standing aside and motioning for him to come in. "I made lunch," she said. He raised an eyebrow. Cordelia, cooking? "Is it safe to eat?" "It's fine. Salad and sandwiches," she replied, moving into the kitchen, which connected to the dining room. Her tone was a joking one, but there was still an uneasy edge to it. "So," he said quietly, following her. His eyes moved over every piece of furniture and wall hanging he passed. Cordelia's taste hadn't changed a bit-- the house was beautifully decorated. "So," she echoed, her eyes lingering on him for a few seconds. Then she cleared her throat and gestured to the dining room table. "Have a seat?" He nodded and sat, and Cordelia quickly placed a plate in front of each of them. She seemed to be watching him, he soon noticed. Though he supposed he could sit and eat, and pretend not to notice...it might be better to find out why she couldn't seem take her eyes off him. Figure out if she hated him for having left, hated him for coming back, or hated him for any other particular reason. He was about to say something when her lips parted and she spoke. "How's things?" she asked. He shook his head, taking a sip of water. "Wouldn't you rather start out with a question that has a slightly less depressing answer?" There was a slight, uneasy smile. "Okay. Where have you _been_ all this time?" Xander shrugged. "Los Angeles," he said. "I transferred my credits to UCLA and majored in communications. I'm working with a few friends on an indie radio station." Cordelia laughed slightly. "And I bet that pays well." He shook his head good-naturedly. "Nah. Anna-Marie's the breadwin--" He broke off abruptly, realizing what he was saying and who he was saying it to. Cordelia's expression was one of confusion. "Anna-Marie?" "My...wife." He hoped. If she wasn't completely disgusted by the way her husband let himself be ruled by the past, let his memories guide every choice he made. God, what was he going to do when he went home and the house was empty? What if he didn't solve whatever problems it was he was having while he was here and had the chance, and she never came home? What if he never saw the kids again? Because, he was sure, Anna-Marie would do her damndest to make sure he had little-to-no contact with Nina and Elliot, if it came to the point where she honestly decided to divorce him. It wasn't until he saw Cordelia watching him with a questioning expression that Xander realized he had ceased paying attention to her. "Sorry," he said briefly. "Didn't mean to drift. I..." But the words to explain weren't there. "I shouldn't have left," was what came out instead. After a few silent, almost stunned seconds, his ex-fianc‚ sighed. "Xander," Cordelia said quietly, I'm not...upset." She said it in a tone that implied she was, but didn't want it to get in the way of things. He glanced up, almost surprised that she had hit on things so quickly. "Why not?" he asked. She shrugged. "Time's passed, for one. It's been too long since I saw you to keep from realizing that you didn't have any other choice when you left." "I could have--" "No you couldn't have," Cordelia interrupted. "We both know, you weren't in love with me, anyway. You were in love with Buffy, I was a convenient object for you to focus your attentions on when you realized she wasn't going to reciprocate." Dumbfounded by Cordelia's perceptiveness, Xander stared. "I always knew you loved her," Cordelia continued softly. "In a lot of ways, the first thing I felt when I found out about her was relief, that I wouldn't have to worry about her taking you away from me anymore." Xander stared in surprise, but Cordelia must not have noticed him, because she kept speaking. "Not that it was anything I had ever needed to worry about," she continued, "but I didn't realize that till later, when Willow reminded me that Buffy was too intent on saving Angel to try and take..." She trailed off, her voice fading in her throat. Hearing the names, spoken aloud for the first time in so many years, Xander shook his head. "Cordelia..." She shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to please let her finish. "I scattered his ashes on her grave," Cordelia whispered. His eyes widened slightly. "You what?" "She had asked me to," Cordelia said quietly. "Because she didn't think any of you would be willing, if things didn't go the way she was planning--" Xander stared for another moment. "You--" Tears were forming in Cordelia's eyes as she looked at him. "I..." "You knew." For a moment, the only response was a slow nod. "I couldn't blame any of you for anything because she told me what she was going to do," Cordelia said, her voice back to a whisper so soft Xander could barely hear her. "My God..." Xander said, stunned by the revelation. "Cordelia..." "She made me promise not to tell any of you," Cordelia whispered. "I...except for Willow, you're the only other one who knows..." Xander's stomach was doing a tumbling routine in his gut as Xander stared, slowly rising from his seat. "I have to go," he said softly. "No!" Cordelia said quickly, rising. "Xander, please--" "You could have stopped her," he said quietly. "God _damn_ it, Cordelia, you could have said something and we could have stopped her from--" "I couldn't!" Cordelia broke in, her voice sounding somewhere near desperate now. "Xander, you don't understand, she never confided in me and I couldn't break my word because she never would have again, and--" "She _didn't_!" Xander was surprised by the force of his own voice, and from the way Cordelia shrank back from him he had the feeling she was, too. "She _died_ because we didn't know!" There was a moment of silence, and Cordelia just shook her head, wordlessly. Then, a soft whisper. "Maybe you should go," she said. Xander looked at Cordelia for a moment, all the pain and loneliness and aching he'd battled all morning rushing back as the anger fled. What had he been thinking? It wasn't Cordelia's fault, it wasn't any of their faults, Buffy hadn't-- "Now," Cordelia broke in, her voice quivering. Xander looked at her for a moment, wondering if there was any way he could communicate the pain he felt at her words and the shame at the recollection of his own. But he could tell it was already too late. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, and for the second time in as many hours he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for. He only knew the apology was as sincere as he could have hoped to be. "I'll go." He was halfway down the front walk when he heard the door slam shut behind him. Not letting himself look back, he climbed into his car, pulled the door shut behind him, stepped on the gas pedal, and drove away. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 12:11:46 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter One -- (1/2) See Prologue for notes and disclaimers. All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. Beginning w/this chapter, any chapter that is more than 250 lines will be labeled in the following manner: "Future Imperfect" -- Chapter # -- (?/?). In other words, chapter one will be two posts long. If you miss any parts, please e-mail me off-list and I will send them to you privately. ~ "Part One: Future Imperfect" //I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again.// -James Taylor, "Fire and Rain" Place: Sunnydale Cemetery. Time: May 19, 2012. The clear, cold air brushed his face as Xander Harris stepped up to a large marble headstone. He shut his eyes for a few seconds, wondering what had happened that he had been driven back here after so long. He had thought he'd put Sunnydale behind him. His eyes fell to the grass, and he felt his chest constrict as he crouched and brushed the blades with one palm-- the other was holding a single yellow rose, which he'd bought on his way here. The grass was soft, tickling his flesh. He almost smiled. Then his eyes returned to the grave marker, and he choked again. He pushed himself to his feet and stepped carefully over the grave so he was nearer to the headstone. Buffy Summers. Daughter and Friend. 1981-2002. The words, written in cold marble, seemed so inadequate, to describe the vibrant, charming, fierce, wonderful young woman Xander had known. He had never meant to come back here. He'd thought it would be too painful, and he'd been right. His wife, an English professor at UCLA, had left with their two children for the summer-- and possibly a great deal longer, leaving him with nothing to do but sit and brood and finally accept Willow's invitation to visit. Anna-Marie had said something about how she was getting tired of hearing about Buffy Summers and wonderful Sunnydale, and if it was so amazingly incredible, then why hadn't he tried visiting the girl's grave for once in his life? Then she had packed up and gone, on a trip to her mother's that was going to last the whole summer break. Taking Nina and Elliot with her. "I can't help it," he'd told her as her car had been pulling out of the driveway, her window rolled down just enough for him to speak. "That was a big part of my life." "But it's _over_ now, Alex," she'd replied, her tone a bitter one. "It's over and I want you to move on so you can be my _husband_ again." When Willow had called the next day, asking if he could come for a visit, what could he do but accept the invitation? She had been trying to convince him to come back to visit her for years, but he'd never accepted. She had been overjoyed when he'd finally accepted. She had wanted to take him to the grave herself, this morning, but he had told her he wanted to have time to be alone with their dead friend. It was funny, he supposed, because he had never thought about how brief Buffy's life would most likely be when they had become friends. But it made sense, given the Slayer's lifestyle. Even so. He was still staring at the headstone an hour later, and he hadn't said a word. Finally, realizing it was coming near lunch and he had another visit to make, he took the rose from the damp paper towel he'd wrapped it in, and laid it across the head of Buffy's grave. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Sorry I waited so long. Sorry for so many things. Wherever you are now, I hope you know that." There was no answer from beyond the grave, and Xander knew he hadn't sincerely expected, or hoped for one. Still, it was all he could do to keep from looking back as he walked to his car, then drove away from the cemetery. ~ All comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 11:31:05 -0700 From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 10) Here's another shorty for all you people who AREN'T giving me feedback. C'mon, there's gotte be more than 10 people on this list! Charlotte Sometimes (Part 10) Angelus kicked his feet up on the large house, he had stolen from the previous owners. Not so much stolen, as claimed. It's not like they'd need it now, where they were. Over and over he licked his lips, remembering soft lips, and shivering body.=20 Desire was ruining all his plans. The timing had been set off, his balance had fallen so to speak and he longed to see her again. Tonight perhaps, she'd be at mass, she'd asked him to go with her, but he had other plans=85 Decisions, decisions. ~ "Dru! Dru! Wake up Dru! Dru!"=20 Drusilla groaned as her little sister continued to bang on the door screaming her name. She wondered where the nurses where, shouldn't they be watching the child? Drusilla got up to open the door, when she passed the mirror. She still had a ton of powder on her face. And her hair was tangled all around her, she hadn't even bothered to wash or braid it. She'd been up all night thinking of Angelus.=20 She could still feel him holding her, kissing her, his voice was fresh in her mind. "Dru! Come on Drusilla! Wake up! Dru!"=20 Drusilla rolled her eyes and opened the door a little "Dru?" Lydia said, as she looked at her sister "You look awful"=09 Drusilla began to close the door "Wait! Dru! When will you be down? Will you come with me, I picked fresh flowers and we're gonna go lay them on Reggie's grave" Drusilla smiled at her sister. "I'll go with you in a minute. Let me get ready first, all right?" Lydia smiled and bounced around running down the stairs to tell her mother that Dru would be going Drusilla shut the door, and humming happily to herself went to bathe herself before meeting her sister down stairs. - --=20 ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~=20 SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest=20 thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 10 May 1998 11:46:52 -0700 From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 11) Okay, okay. I think this makes 2 shorties in a row... But the next part is longer. Promise! Charlotte Sometimes (Part 11) The three of them filed into the large house. Isabelle and her husband with hands linked together and walked in the house, and Drusilla carried little Lydia. "Madam!" Came the voice of Lydia's nurse and Dru's former. "Shhh!" Drusilla hissed angrily, soon changing to a smile as she eyed out Lydia as though to tell the nurse not to wake her up. "Oh! heh, sorry madam" the nurse whispered. "You've gotten a letter" "A letter? From who?" Asked Isabelle. Drusilla watched her father go up the stairs, rolling his eyes and bobbing his head as he knew his wife would go into fanatics over the stupid letter, gossiping and telling all the ladies in the country, the world would know by noon, 'Drusilla's gotten a letter!' Drusilla took the letter, gently shifting Lydia in her arms, and opened the letter with her mother peering over her head. 'Dearest Drusilla, I'm very sorry I could not meet with you for mass tonight. Matter of most urgent business has arisen. I would Be honored if you would meet me later tonight, perhaps In front of the church? I will be waiting. I will understand if you choose not To meet me. Angelus O'Reily "Drusilla!? What is the meaning of this?" Drusilla was about to make up some excuses of meeting this gentleman at the ball, and not wanting to go unsure of his intentions, when her mother continued "I didn't know you have any friends. Well, male friends. Why have I not met him? Angelus.. what a splendid name, who is he?" "I... umm.. that is, he's" Drusilla had to take a deep breath before she continued "I met him at the dance, those past few days." Isabelle's eyes lit up as she remembered the handsome man that had spent nearly the entire night with her Dru. ~ Drusilla timidly looked at her mother, her unsure voice asking if she may go to meet him tonight. "If his intentions are well, Dru. You may go" She said, holding her daughters arms. Drusilla took a deep breath, thinking for a minute then smiled up at her worrying mother. "Yes, I believe he means well." "Then go" Isabelle softly laughed, knowing her daughter wanted to met this gentleman "Have fun Drusilla, and do not stay out to late, I fear the streets are not safe, even with a man at your side" Drusilla smiled as she gave Lydia to the nurse, so that she may tuck her in for the night. She quickly went outside and called the coachman. - -- ~ ` ~ LadySun ~ ` ~ ~ ` ~ Spikette ` Mercenary ~ ` ~ SD - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html FK - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/FK/index.html We look before and After, and pine for what is not; our sincerest laughter with some pain is fraught; Our sweetest songs are those that tell the saddest thought...' The Cure Wish) ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #173 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. 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