From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #203 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Monday, May 25 1998 Volume 02 : Number 203 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (2/4) BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 23) BUFFYFIC: discuss: Ack, help, please? BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 24) Re: BUFFYFIC: The Librarian's Discovery (1/1) BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part one by Ingrid and co. BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part 2, by Ingrid and co. BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 4/?) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 12:03:15 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: "No Need To Argue" (2/4) (Sorry for the delay, typed the addy wrong and it bounced back to me) ~ E-mail KylenRevik@aol.com for missing pieces or comments, please. See part 1 for disclaimers. ~ Glancing over the set the Dingoes had put together earlier in the afternoon, Oz was still trying to figure out how exactly one was supposed to separate the cheese from the pizza when it just kept stringing out. Behind him, the rest of the band was setting up in preparation for the night's show. Well, Oz amended mentally, Scott and Devon were setting up for the night's show. Tyler, who had driven to Los Angeles himself and had been staying with college friends had been sleeping since five minutes after he'd met them here at the club. Oz sighed, finally giving up on biting off the cheese, and used his fingers to pull the rest off and drop it into his mouth. Then he winced at the temperature of the melted mozzarella, and then he nearly yelled when the sauce as it hit the roof of his mouth. "Jeez..." he sighed as he went to get a glass of water. Devon hadn't spoken to him since the fight in the van earlier that day. It was something he was totally cool with, the whole not talking thing, except that he was more than slightly frustrated with the fact that it meant the band was operating as less than one complete, cohesive unit. Didn't matter so much as far as the talking went, but if the music suffered, there would be big problems. He sighed, shaking his head as he took a sip of the glass of water he'd left sitting on one of the front tables, then left the crust part of his slice of pizza, sans sauce and cheese, on the table in favor of the guitar he'd left on stage. "Hey," he called to Scott as he picked up the instrument, "time?" "Three-fifteen," Scott informed him. Club opened at six, there was a DJ until seven thirty, then the Dingoes played three hour-long sets with breaks. Long night ahead. And several more to follow, here in Los Angeles, before the next one, up the coast in San Francisco. Then there were a few more, then they started working their way back down toward Sunnydale. All in all, the trip was going to be three weeks long. Almost enough to be called a tour, and there were several places where there was a decent chance the Dingoes might manage to run across talent scouts-- maybe. Better not to count on that, though, 'cause he was still enrolled in Sunnydale U's music program come the end of August. College. Wow. He stopped for a moment to ponder that thought. College. He shook his head. Wow. "Oz," came a call from where Scott had finally finished putting his trap set in order for the night's show, "you wanna go with me, pick up Chinese?" "Full," Oz replied, his fingers starting to play over the strings on his guitar. "Come on," Scott said, nodding toward the back entrance of the club. "Forget that, you don't need to eat, just company, 'kay?" Oz glanced up, his fingers not missing a beat as they strummed chords in the absence of his concentration, and it wasn't until then that he realized Scott hadn't really been asking a question. He sighed, nodded, set his guitar down, and rose. "Coming," he gave in, and the two of them left the stage and the club. Neither spoke until Oz slid into the driver's seat, and Scott had buckled his seat belt. "Devon's ticked," Scott sighed. "Nice to know," Oz replied, and he wasn't sure if his tone was sarcastic or apathetic, or something else entirely. "What's his deal?" "You're pissing him off, Ozzie," Scott said. "This whole brooding thing. I mean, okay, I understand that you and the girl are tight and all, but--" "Scott," Oz said, his hand freezing on the gear shift as he fixed his eyes on his friend's. "Yeah?" "Willow's not a part of this equation." "Except--" Oz shook his head. "Neh. If Dev has problems with me, this is something we can work with, but messing with the relationship thing is something I'm for in this, well, a really _not_ way." "Obviously," Scott snapped, "or you'd have ditched her a long time ago." Seeing the look that crossed Oz's face at that, Scott rushed to add, "Oz, you don't get it, he does not _like_ that chick. He doesn't like the idea of you seeing her, he doesn't like the idea that she's got some kinda hold on you. He doesn't like her and he's starting to not like you because of it." Oz shook his head. "Told you already," he said. "Willow's not a part of this equation." "But--" "Scott," Oz said, and a hint of warning entered his voice, "drop." Scott looked at him for a long few minutes before he sighed and nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Consider it dropped." argue ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 14:39:13 -0700 From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 23) Alright, I'm finally back on track. And I have all sorts of wonderful idea's in store for Drusilla. For a note this chapter right here is rate pg It's good clean fun. But for reference it's gonna get bumpy. C'mon people, were making a girl insane here, it's gotta be rate R Enjoy! Charlotte Sometimes (part 23) Love! Oh god! Love. Her head was filled with daisies, fields of rainbows, and lusty children running in vast lands high in the clouds. Love! It was like looking through a wall made of glass seeing everything for the first time, and in new light. Bright light! Illuminating all details to the peek of perfection. All substance in her life held a sudden significance and all things that were meaningless before, now. Weren't. Her eyes darted open. She couldn't sleep tonight. Nothing could calm her body of this wonderful high she'd felt after hearing him say those words. I love you! She was home; she didn't know how she'd gotten home. She was in bed. She couldn't remember putting on her nightgown, but here she lay. Awake. Sleep was impossible. The chimes were going off again and again, reminding her that it was approaching dawn and she needed her rest. One... But he loved her! Her body could live for years off this, if nothing else. Two... I love him... At least she thinks... Affection. They share affection if nothing more, but so much affection. So much love it looks like everything else! Three... Oh god! Three a.m.! And wide-awake she lay, not even contemplating rest. Her body got out of bed, and her robe was tied around her waist. She began to walk down the stairs, before her mind told her what her body was doing. Milk, mother used to boil milk when sleep wouldn't come, and that's what she would do. She floated down the stairs. Her body moving on it's own as her mind sang to her of beautiful things. And there she sat. Her mother up. Sitting at the kitchen table, staring as her daughter walked down the steps. "Hello Drusilla" Isabelle said softly as her daughter came within reaching distance That incredible feeling of joy and wonderment was stripped from her as she gazed at her mother's face. Isabelle's eyes were a reddened color, and looked incredibly thin, so unhealthy. The bones in her cheeks were beginning to show. Her face was pale and had red blotches in selected places. She looked like death had visited her. "I heard you were out tonight" Her voice was tender, barely audible. But it only increased the questions' weight. Drusilla couldn't form the voice to say a word as she stared at her mother's face in dull shock. For as long as she could remember Isabelle had been on of the loveliest ladies she'd ever gazed apon. Her cheeks were always rosy and her lips the color of wine. Her hair was always full, and alive, shimmering in its brilliance. Shallow as it was her mothers' looks ment a great deal to her, and to see her like this, it was as though she'd been sucked down to hell with her. Tears came to Drusilla's eyes as she realized what was happening. Her mother's body was dying. Her mother was preparing to go away with father. To leave her! To leave Dru and Lydia all alone in the mortal world! "Hush now" Isabelle sighed. Watching Dru's eyes as the tears began to glisten in them. Drusilla's body flew into her mother's arms. And Isabelle enfolded her hands around her. Keeping her safe. "Don't leave me mum. Don't you dare go" She cried. ~ His passion was increased at least ten folds after tonight. Wonderful tonight! It'd had been perfect. He couldn't have dreamed of anything more amazing than her lips against his own. There was a quickening sadness to remember she was no longer with him. That he had dropped her off at home. But he'd see her again. Soon. He knew without a doubt in his devious mind, that for the remainder of these following weeks, she'd be in his thoughts, every moment, of every hour, of every day. Not that it mattered. He knew she'd be thinking the same. Which was exactly why he must wait! To ruin such a beautiful flower too soon before it's bloom was a crime. And he refused to rush his love. - -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 17:28:41 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: discuss: Ack, help, please? Working on a fic and need to know if Pike was given a last name...anybody who knows, help, please! Rachel ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 15:37:53 -0700 From: LadySun Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 24) Charlotte Sometimes (part 24) The carriage rocked softly, back and forth on the stony road, Drusilla's was intently focused out the window staring at the dark night, as though searching for the brightest star. Her mother was coming to church with them. Drusilla had argued. God would want her to save her strength and to heal, not be out so late in the evening. But Isabelle would have none. She was just as stubborn as ever. Her heart felt like it might break. She'd waited all day, just so she might pray, pray that her mother get better again. And prey for Angelus and herself. Together. These thoughts were keeping her quiet, were making her wish that things could go back to normal with papa, and mother. But nothing ever is prefect. She needed to adapt to survive. But now, she didn't have to survive alone. Drusilla longed to tell Isabelle of Angelus. About their meetings. About their confessions to one another. But she couldn't risk exciting her mother, not when she was in this delicate of a condition. * Drusilla quickly excused herself from the family as they went to take their seats. She found herself striding quickly to the confession booths. Sensing her mothers gaze as she entered the small room. It was dark, and stuffed up. She could hear the preacher's breathing on the other side of the booth. Drusilla knelt and made the sign of the cross with her right hand, forehead, to chest, left shoulder to right. "Bless me, Father, for I confess to Almighty God, and to you, Father, that I have sinned" She took a deep breath, she knew this routine by heart, but was now suddenly scared, as she felt the priests ears listening to her every word, waiting for her to continue "It's been a week since my last confession.. And... I have had impure thoughts of a gentleman." Drusilla felt her gaze go downwards, it was more shameful now that she'd said the words out loud. "And did you entertain these thoughts child?" "I.. um..." Drusilla thought. It wasn't she that kissed him. and she pushed him away from her the instant she felt his lips... But she had lusted after him, she had wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her again. "Yes father." She listened to the brief silence wondering what the priest thought of her? Having impure thoughts, right after her fathers untimely murder. "For your sin of having impure thoughts, your penance is 15 hail Mary's." Drusilla slowly stood up on her feet. "Thank you father" She saw his silhouette nod, as she exited the room. Her mothers gaze was still apon her as she walked to a nearby pew. Not wanting to see her mother, to gaze at her dying body, she knelt down and began to whisper almost mumble, the prayer. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women..." She could still see his face when she closed her eyes. Angelus. His name rolled off her tongue when she said it. It sung in her mind when she thought it. "... And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." She cursed herself for thinking such things in the place of god... But she didn't stop. How could she? ~ Leave it to his princess to never miss church. His perfect Christian child. She looked worn out tonight. Incredibly fatigued. And as much as he'd like to think it was himself that had caused her lack of relaxation, one look at her mother told him it was not so. The vision presented to him of the gorgeous Isabelle caught him by surprise. He could feel the weakness emanating her, as Drusilla helped her up the steps. Mother in one hand, sister in the other. Such a giver. Her mother would have be the next then, he sighed walking out of the church gardens. After all there was no point in letting her die peacefully, when her death could help his plan greatly... - -- _-_ LadySun SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 17:54:18 EDT From: JMHnoodles Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: The Librarian's Discovery (1/1) In a message dated 98-05-25 07:57:33 EDT, KylenRevik writes: << ::laughing so hard she's nearly falling out of her chair:: Brava! ::claps:: ::takes a breath:: >> ROTFLMAO...I _have_ to agree. :::bounces in her seat happily, clapping::: This is wonderful...and very, *very* true. No, I don't think you were overstepping your bounds at all, by the way. In case any of you missed the message in the fanfic: if you know you have problems with spelling and/or grammar, get a beta reader! There are plenty of people who will volunteer to do this! I know I'm not alone when I say that I've had to abandon reading many a promising piece of fanfiction because the spelling or grammar was impossible to get through. Congrats on a great fic, though. :-) Jen PS- If you find grammar/spelling errors in my fics, and I know there are PLENTY, please yell at me about them! I encourage all flames. =) ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 22:49:26 -0400 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part one by Ingrid and co. DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine. Don't sue. SUMMARY: This may require a bit of explaining... OK. This is a french project that my friends and I did for our end of the year script writing. It's meant as a satire of The WB's "New Tuesday," and I thought the french speakers on the list might enjoy it (Please forgive our *terrible* french, and I mean that! We wrote this while snacking on KFC take-out, listening to Paula Cole, and otherwise goofing off and avoiding work.) Have fun! BTW, I don't think there's anything against sending stuff in other languages to the list, but if there is, please let me know (gently!) Nouveau Mardi (part one) Scene 1: The "WB grenouille danse en stage en face d’une affice de "Nouveau Mardi." Il chante. GRENOUILLE Le double, double, double, double, double, double, WB! Buffy et Cordelia sont seules encore et elles veulent trouver un homme Mais Dawson ne peut rien se souvenir! Ce Nouveau Mardi va etre "le bomb!" Mais d’abord, un petit spot publicitaire: SPOT PUBLICITAIRE (Le frog chante) GRENOUILLE C’est l’heure! C’est l’heure du Buffy! ANNOUNCER Ce soir, sur une "Buffy" extraordinaire, Buffy et Cordelia parlent au discotheque, le "Bronze." Ils n'ont pas des escorts, mais il est un homme mysterieux. Laquelle vont gagner le coeur de cet homme? Scene 2: Buffy et Cordelia restent au discotheque. Elles regardent tout le monde. Elles sont enneyeuses. BUFFY Je suis deconcertee. Je suis tres jolie, mais je n'ai pas un copain! CORDELIA Moi aussi, je suis desorientee! Nous restons ici, et personne ne nous demande un rendez-vous! BUFFY Peut-etre nous devons faire comprendre a quelqu'un que nous sommes libres? CORDELIA Tiens! La, il y a un homme mysteriuex! BUFFY Ooh. Je suis sur qu'il va tomber amoureux de moi! CORDELIA Exscuses-moi? Il est le mien, je crois. BUFFY Ecoutes. Je ne veux pas etre en mauvaise termes avec toi. Nous ne devons pas disputer. Simplement il peut choisir. La meilleure femme gagnera. CORDELIA D'accord. VAMPIRE GARCON Bonjours, mes cheries. Vous etes tres jolies. BUFFY Oh, nous savons. CORDELIA Ou habitez-vous? Je n'ai jamais vous vu. VAMPIRE GARCON Euh...Je n'habite pas pres d'ici. BUFFY Quel beau pelerine! VAMPIRE GARCON Tu trouves? CORDELIA Oui, oui! C'est le meilleur pelerine que j'ai deja vu! VAMPIRE GARCON Vraiment? BUFFY Oui, je le veux. J'espere que je peux trouver un pelerine comme ca un jour! C'est du bon qualite! C'est- VAMPIRE GARCON D'accord, d'accord. Merci! CORDELIA Euh...Est-ce que vous voulez prendre un pot? VAMPIRE GARCON Oui, je l'aimerais beaucoup. BUFFY Incredulousment D'accord. J'ai quelque chose de prevu. Marche loin, et tourne. Oh! j'ai presque oublie! J'ai tes affiches de Leonardo DiCaprio. Sort. CORDELIA Ce sont ses affices, vraiment. Elle est un peu folle, tu sais. VAMPIRE GARCON N'inquietez pas! Voulez-vous aller dans ma voiture avec moi? CORDELIA D'accord! BUFFY Du derriere L'imbecile! Je vais les suivre. *** FIN, partie 1. Feedback is ok, but no commenting on my lousy french!! _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 22:49:54 -0400 From: ingrid29@juno.com (Ingrid E Stanton) Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Nouveau Mardi," part 2, by Ingrid and co. Scene 3: exterieur. Cordelia et "vampire garcon" marchent. CORDELIA Euh...Ou est ta voiture? VAMPIRE GARCON Tant pis, ma cherie, mais je suis un vampire! CORDELIA Elle crie, et elle essaye de courir, mais il ne va pas la laisser. BUFFY Elle parait. Arretes maintenent! Je vais te tuer! VAMPIRE GARCON Je ne pense pas que ce soit vrai! BUFFY Tue le vampire. CORDELIA Merci, Buffy. Je regrette que j'ai vole l'homme mysterieux. BUFFY C'est d'accord. Je sais que s'il etait un vrai homme, et pas un vampire, il m'aurait choisi. Scene 4: Le GRENOUILLE chante encore: GRENOUILLE C’est l’heure de Dawson…en moment, mais maintenent, une autre spot publicitaire! SPOT PUBLICITAIRE 2 Scene 5: Chez Dawson Leery. Joey et Dawson restent au lit. DAWSON Allumes la tele. Je veux regarder la nouveau emission qui s'appelle "La vie de Donald!" Je veux que Donald realise que la fille Juliet l'aime beaucoup. JOEY Ce n'est pas une emission. C'est un feuilleton. Pffft. C'est trop romantique. Ce n'es pas vrai. DAWSON Ca signifie les rapports des gens, le coup de foudre! C'est vrai! Ca se passe tous les temps! Je ne peux pas imaginer comment on se sent si on aime quelqu'un qui n'a pas une idee! JOEY Ironically. Oh non. Je ne peux pas l'imaginer. Roll Credits; Cue le chanson de Paula Cole. Opening credits include shots of the cast of "Dawson's Creek" Scene 6: Dawson and Pacey jouent du basket au parc. DAWSON Pacey, tu ne peux pas jouer. PACEY Tu es en colere parce que j'ai bisse Joey. DAWSON Non. Je ne suis pas fache PACEY Tu l'aimes. C'est vrai, et tu le sais! DAWSON J'en ai assez, Pacey!! PACEY Tais-toi! DAWSON Non! PACEY Jette un basket au Dawson Dawson tombe. Pacey court. Jen arrive, et elle voit Dawson. Elle crie JEN Mon Dieu! Dawson! Ou est l'hopital? Scene 7: A l'hopital, ou Dawson reste au lit. Joey arrive. JOEY Salut Dawson. Comment est-ce que tu te sens? DAWSON Et tu serais...? JOEY Tu ne me souviens? DAWSON Non. Je ne me souviens rien! JOEY Je suis ta meilleure amie! DAWSON Qu'est-ce que tu as dis? JOEY Uh...Je suis ta fiance! Nous avons disputer, et j'ai trouve que tu es blesse! JEN Entre. Ce n'est pas vrai. C'est moi qui tu aimes! DAWSON T'es toque, non? Je ne me souviens pas! JEN Il est le mien! JOEY Non! Il est le mien. Elles se battent. JOEY prend une plateau, et elle frappe Jen, mais elles tombent, et elles frappent Dawson. Il se reveille. DAWSON Je me souviens! Elles continuent a battent. DAWSON Plus forte. Je me souviens tout! JEN Ca ne nous concerne pas! JOEY Tais-toi! Fade out. FIN. _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 25 May 1998 22:56:43 -0400 From: "R. Smith" Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 4/?) SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20 This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those episodes, READ NO FURTHER! THIS=20 SPACE=20 IS=20 FOR=20 YOUR PROTECTION See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments or requests for previous parts to conor@dnaco.net They headed down the stairs, and, as Buffy sat down, Rick went into the kitchen. =93Want something?=94 he asked, =93This is not a short story. I=92ve got Diet Pepsi, tea, bottled water...=94 =93Um, water=92s good,=94 she replied, looking around the =93TV=94 room. Like the bedroom, it looked pretty much unlived in. She was starting to wonder if Rick had any kind of life at all. He brought her a bottle of Evian, opened a bottle of Diet Pepsi for himself and sat down. He took a deep breath. =93I found out what I was born to do on my eighth birthday.=94 he began =93My father took me out patrolling, and I got to watch him kill a relatively puny demon. It scared me shitless. Afterward, we had a long talk about duty and destiny and all that, and then he gave me my birthday present -- that sword on the wall over there.=94=20 Buffy glanced to where he was pointing, and saw a short sword, really little more than a toy. With a chuckle, Rick said, =93Yeah, I know. It=92s not much, but trust me, it=92s real enough to do the job if it had to. Anyway, after that, my life was very different. I practiced with my father every day. I think it was more for him than for me. Our family gift gives us pretty much instant mastery of any sword, but I=92ve found that each year, I lose a little of my edge.=94 He gestured at his injured arm. =93Hell, I missed a block against a freaking knife last night. Five years ago, I=92d have cut those guys to bits and never got touched. But I digress.=94 =93My father died when I was fifteen. It wasn=92t even demon related. He died in a car accident. Suddenly, I was the one -- the guy who stood in the door so the demons couldn=92t get in. I thought it was going to suck, but I live in Ohio.=94 He chuckled. =93At the worst, I don=92t have to fight more than eight or nine times a year. I can=92t imagine what it must have been like for you, living on the Hellmouth. So, it was really more like a hobby for me. I went on as if I was like everyone else, and now and then, I went somewhere and kicked some demon=92s ass.=94 He took a long drink, and sat thinking for a while before continuing. =93I met Trina when I was twenty. We hit it off really well, and after one thing led to another... she got pregnant. So, we got married. Ricky was born, and two years after that, my daughter, Rhiannon. Life was good for us then. I got my trust- fund and built this house for all of us. The kids grew up strong=20 and beautiful, and every once in a while, I went to Toledo or Akron or some little one traffic light town, and whacked a demon or two.=94 =93When Ricky was eight, I had kill a pack of thirteen demons right here in Dayton. They were more than I could handle. I knew that. Still, I had to try. There wasn=92t anybody else. I tracked them down, and killed seven of them, but the rest ran off. I was pretty chewed up, so I came home to recover before I finished them off.=94 =93They attacked me here, two nights after I hit them. They came in from all over the place, through the windows and doors. One came right through that wall over there. It was total chaos, with demons roaring, and the kids screaming, and me trying to fight my way to a clear place while protecting my family. I killed two in the initial attack. It was all action and no thought... I didn=92t have time to think., I just cut, thrust, dodged, cut and moved on. I=92m sure you know the feeling.=94=20 Buffy nodded, and Rick went on, =93Somehow, I got everybody together, and kept the demons off of them. I fell back to the kitchen. It has the least ways in, so it was the best place to make a stand. I was doing pretty well at it, too. I killed two as they came at us from this room, and was holding the others off. I figured if my strength held out, I could pick them off one at a time.=94 =93The kids had pretty much gone into shock, just sitting against the cabinet and staring. Trina had gone silent too, backed as far away from the fighting as she could get. She knew what I did, but she=92d never seen it. It was a lot for a first exposure.=94 He lapsed into thought again, staring at the kitchen like he could see it happening again. Finally he shook himself and took another swig of soda. =93Anyway, she=92d backed up against the sink, right next to that little window. I was fighting two demons at once. They were trying to get at the kids, and it was all I could do to keep them both back. That was when another one smashed through that little window and yanked my wife out through it.=94 =93Everything=92s a little disjointed after that,=94 he said, frowning as if even now he was trying to get it all straight in his head, =93I think I killed the two I was fighting with one cut. I could hear Trina screaming outside. I shoved the kids into the cabinet; they didn=92t even blink as I shut the door. Then I dove out the window. I was thinner then; now I=92d have to go around.=94 =93Gotta give her credit, Trina was keeping the beast from killing her outright. She was really tore up by the time I got to her, though. I hit that demon _so_ hard. I thought I was too late, there was so much blood, but she moaned, and I knew she was still alive. Somehow, I got her back into the house and dialed 911. I did what I could to stop the bleeding, but I was so sure she was gonna die. By the time anyone got here, the demons had completely dissolved. They took us all to the hospital, but I wouldn=92t stay even though I was really wrecked. I was pretty sure one demon had run off, and I wasn=92t gonna let it spend one more night on Earth.=94 =93The police, after finding no real evidence to support any kind of conclusion, had to take my word that it was wolves. There haven=92t been any wolves in Ohio in years, but with my wife mauled, and me looking none to good myself, they didn=92t have many choices. I was front page news -- =91Man Holds Off Wolfpack With Sword.=92 People will believe anything rather than even think that demons are real.=94 =93The kids came home after a couple of days. They couldn=92t remember anything about what had happened, but they were changed -- real quiet, and careful around shadows. Trina didn=92t get out of the hospital for a while. She was lucky, though. All she got were some really interesting scars. There was no permanent damage. Well, no permanent _physical_ damage.=94 =93They left the day after she got out.=94 Buffy shook herself out of the shocked silence she=92d lapsed into and said, =93She left you. That must have hurt.=94 It sounded lame to her, but she had no idea what to say after a story like that. What scared her most was that she had stories almost as bad, with friends and loved ones hurt, *Or worse than hurt, *she thought miserably. =93No,=94 Rick replied, =93I sent them away. I couldn=92t protect them, and they couldn=92t protect themselves. The normalcy of my life up to that point had been a complete lie. I couldn=92t have a normal life, because normal people were in danger just being around me.=94 =93I made some changes, after that. I stopped hanging out with my friends, and put up a wall between me and anyone I cared about. It was the only way. I can=92t _not_ be what I am, so I have to be alone. =91Cause what I am is dangerous.=94 He lapsed into silence, and Buffy couldn=92t think of anything of comfort to say to him. She agreed with him. That was why she=92d left Sunnydale. She opened her mouth to tell him she understood, and found herself telling him everything that had happened to, and because of, her in the last two years. She let him have every bit of rage and grief that she=92d held back from her friends because she knew he could understand in a way they couldn=92t. By the time she got to those last few days in Sunnydale, they were both crying like babies. =93So I understand totally why you would send them away,=94 she finished with a sniffle. =93Different situations,=94 he replied, to her dismay, =93My family couldn=92t do anything against the demons. Hell, my kids were too small to even deal. I didn=92t have a choice but to get them away from me. Your friends all sound pretty capable. They=92ve not only protected themselves, but they=92ve pulled your ass out of the fire a couple of times. They had the choice to help you, and they did. They were mature enough to make that choice. It kind of looks to me like you didn=92t have faith in them. I could be wrong, it wouldn=92t be the first time.=94 Buffy took each word like a physical blow. She should have expected him to be like this, so far he hadn=92t seen her side of anything. Still, it hurt. =93I=92m sorry I have to be the one to say this stuff,=94 he said, =93But it=92s just not the same. I know you think you=92re doing what=92s best for them, but you didn=92t ask _them_ what they thought.=94 Buffy could feel the tears beginning to build, again, and tried to keep them back. If she was so tough, why couldn=92t she go one day without having a crying fit? Rick saw her tearing up, and tried to soften the blow. =93You=92re a good kid, Buffy. You=92re brave, and you really care about your friends. But in the final tally, you can=92t keep them from a danger by leaving them. They live on the Hellmouth. That=92s not going away any time soon. They=92re in danger every day of their lives, and you have got to get used to that. If you don=92t want to be the Slayer anymore, that=92s fine. I don=92t bl= ame you, if I were sixteen, and had your life, I=92d probably want to run awa= y too.=94 =93Seventeen,=94 Buffy muttered. =93Hunh?=94=20 =93I=92m seventeen,=94 she said, =93Have been for a while now.=94 =93Hm.=94 he chuckled wryly, =93I don=92t know where I got that you were sixteen. My apologies, but as I was saying, you don=92t want to be the Slayer, fine, don=92t be. Someone else=92ll end up at the Hellmouth. But don=92t blame the fact that you=92re quitting on your friends. I was with you on your whole =91I don=92t want to do this anymore=92 speech, but the =91I can=92t protect my friends=92 thing doesn=92t fly. They don=92t need your protection.=94 He stood up. =93Geez, we=92ve been chattering for five hours.=94 he said, =93I=92m hungry... you?=94 =93I could eat,=94 she said, =93I skipped breakfast to wait for you.=94 =93Christ! You should have said something. I get caught up in stuff and forget to eat all the damn time, though you=92d never tell it from looking at me.=94 =93No prob,=94 she said with a smile, =93I can miss a meal now and then and not die from it.=94 The rest of the evening was pretty normal. Rick made pasta, and they both ate like they=92d missed more than one meal. They talked about normal stuff -- the house, Dayton, what current movies sucked and why. They stayed away from any dangerous topic -- her life, his life, fighting evil in general. After a while, the conversation just kind of died. They sat on his back porch, and listened to the night=92s music, each lost in thought. *Quiet=92s okay,* she thought, *I could get used to just being quiet.* Rick went to bed at around 11:00, after checking his email. Buffy stayed up a while longer. She was still all cut up inside, but she felt like she could heal, here with the quiet. Rick reminded her a little of Merrick. He was all business, and his level of humor was really, really low. He had that same kind of stability, the kind that came from being alone so long you didn=92t have any choice but to be stable. Where Merrick would have tried to find a polite way to say something, however, Rick went right for the bone. That was probably just the difference between Watchers and doers. Thinking of Merrick made her think of Giles. She wondered how he was handling her absence. *Probably not,* she thought. She knew she was letting him down. She didn=92t figure Merrick would be to understanding either, for that matter. It hurt to think she was disappointing Giles, but she just couldn=92t do it anymore. Killing Angel had taken all she had left. Giles would get over it, she figured. *Yeah,* she thought, *In about 100 years.* She thought again about calling Willow, but couldn=92t bring herself to -- not yet. Will would want her to come back. She=92d have great reasons that Buffy should come back. And she=92d be hurt all over again when Buffy said no. Sooner or later, that conversation was going to have to happen. But not tonight. Tonight she was just going to soak up a little peace. ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #203 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)