From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #205 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Tuesday, May 26 1998 Volume 02 : Number 205 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: missing things... BUFFYFIC:"Hell" Prolouge BUFFYFIC:"Hell"(1/?) BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Oz BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (2/10) by Andrea BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (3/10) by Andrea See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 15:27:41 EDT From: "C H" Subject: BUFFYFIC: missing things... My computer did something wierd while I was away and I've gotten no buffyfic since last wednesday. if anyone who sent out fic scince then please re-send it to me i would be eternally greatful... ___________________ | | | C | | B | | H | |___________________| ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 17:48:16 EDT From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:"Hell" Prolouge "Hell" Prologue by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Hell AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, etc. RATING: PG-13 WARNING: Some of the scenes have some gory violence. If you don’t like that sort of thing, don’t read this. SPOILERS: None. SUMMARY: This takes place immediately after Becoming Parts 1 and 2. It’s pretty much my own episode after this. Enjoy! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. FEEDBACK: Please! AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have finals to study for, so these will probably come out spiratically. ***** "Buffy? What's going on? Where are we? I, I don't remember." She just stood there, sword in hand. "Angel?" "You're hurt." Angel touched Buffy’s arm. She hugged him. "I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled." The vortex started to open in front of her eyes. Tears drip down her cheeks as she realized what she must do. "What's happening?" She pushed away. "Shhh. Don't worry about it." She kissed him passionately. "I love you." "I love you." "Close your eyes." He did as he was told. Buffy struggled to hold back tears as she placed her last kiss on Angel’s lips. She drew her sword and stuck it through Angel’s body. He looked at her in shock and sadness as the vortex sucked him into Hell. "Buffy…" And in a second, he was gone. Everything she had ever know, everything she had ever loved, everything that had kept her living. //No,// the word ran through her mind. //No, please, give him back to me. I’m not ready to give him up…// Buffy jolted awake. It was a nightmare. A nightmare that played in her dreams, when she was awake, as long as she was alive. A moment she could never forget. "Park Avenue," the bus driver called out. After looking at the paper in her hand, Buffy picked up her bag and got off the bus. It was dark out now, and she could feel vampires all around her. But she couldn’t fight, not now. Step by step, she walked to her destination, praying that she wouldn’t be attacked. As she got in front of the building, a vampire grabbed her arm. "I’ve had a hard day, so let’s make this quick," she said. With that, she twisted his arm and kicked him in the stomach. As he leaned over in pain, she kicked him in the face. Another vampire came up from behind her and tripped her. She threw her legs around and got up. Two more vampires arrived, and all circled her. //I can’t take on this many,// she thought. From out of nowhere, the first vampire turned to dust. Catching him off his guard, Buffy was able to stake the second. As number three grabbed her, a man kicked him. The vamp got up, unfazed, and kicked him to the ground. Before she knew it, the fourth vampire had his fangs in his neck. As soon as she could, she kicked him off of the man and staked him. Only one remained. With all her might, she grabbed a stake and threw it at his heart. Luckily, it hit the target. As fast as she could, she ran to the injured man. "Pike?" she whispered. Her hand covered his wound. "Buffy," he said opening his eyes, "you’re back." ***** End Prologue ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 17:49:48 EDT From: Jaclyn Amy Subject: BUFFYFIC:"Hell"(1/?) "Hell" Prologue by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Hell AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, etc. RATING: PG-13 WARNING: Some of the scenes have some gory violence. If you don’t like that sort of thing, don’t read this. SPOILERS: None. SUMMARY: This takes place immediately after Becoming Parts 1 and 2. It’s pretty much my own episode after this. Enjoy! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. FEEDBACK: Please! AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have finals to study for, so these will probably come out spiratically. ***** "Buffy? What's going on? Where are we? I, I don't remember." She just stood there, sword in hand. "Angel?" "You're hurt." Angel touched Buffy’s arm. She hugged him. "I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled." The vortex started to open in front of her eyes. Tears drip down her cheeks as she realized what she must do. "What's happening?" She pushed away. "Shhh. Don't worry about it." She kissed him passionately. "I love you." "I love you." "Close your eyes." He did as he was told. Buffy struggled to hold back tears as she placed her last kiss on Angel’s lips. She drew her sword and stuck it through Angel’s body. He looked at her in shock and sadness as the vortex sucked him into Hell. "Buffy…" And in a second, he was gone. Everything she had ever know, everything she had ever loved, everything that had kept her living. //No,// the word ran through her mind. //No, please, give him back to me. I’m not ready to give him up…// Buffy jolted awake. It was a nightmare. A nightmare that played in her dreams, when she was awake, as long as she was alive. A moment she could never forget. "Park Avenue," the bus driver called out. After looking at the paper in her hand, Buffy picked up her bag and got off the bus. It was dark out now, and she could feel vampires all around her. But she couldn’t fight, not now. Step by step, she walked to her destination, praying that she wouldn’t be attacked. As she got in front of the building, a vampire grabbed her arm. "I’ve had a hard day, so let’s make this quick," she said. With that, she twisted his arm and kicked him in the stomach. As he leaned over in pain, she kicked him in the face. Another vampire came up from behind her and tripped her. She threw her legs around and got up. Two more vampires arrived, and all circled her. //I can’t take on this many,// she thought. From out of nowhere, the first vampire turned to dust. Catching him off his guard, Buffy was able to stake the second. As number three grabbed her, a man kicked him. The vamp got up, unfazed, and kicked him to the ground. Before she knew it, the fourth vampire had his fangs in his neck. As soon as she could, she kicked him off of the man and staked him. Only one remained. With all her might, she grabbed a stake and threw it at his heart. Luckily, it hit the target. As fast as she could, she ran to the injured man. "Pike?" she whispered. Her hand covered his wound. "Buffy," he said opening his eyes, "you’re back." ***** "Hell" 1/? by Jaclyn Amy TITLE: Hell AUTHOR: Jaclyn Amy@aol.com DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They belong to Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, etc. RATING: PG-13 WARNING: Some of the scenes have some gory violence. If you don’t like that sort of thing, don’t read this. SPOILERS: None. SUMMARY: This takes place immediately after Becoming Parts 1 and 2. It’s pretty much my own episode after this. Enjoy! DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first. FEEDBACK: Please! AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have finals to study for, so these will probably come out sparatically. ***** "Pike!" Buffy cried in joy as she threw her arms around him. "Buffy, oh God, do you know how long I’ve wanted to feel your body against mine. It’s been forever." He leaned down to kiss her, but she stepped away. "Why don’t we go inside?" Pike had a small apartment. It had a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen/living room. On the wall was a picture of Buffy with her arms around Pike. As she helped him in, she noticed the picture and smiled. //Those were the days,// she thought, //when love was simple. You knew exactly how to act and what to say. You never had to think about killing your boyfriend because he’s a vampire. You never had to send your boyfriend to Hell after his soul was restored.// He turned on the light to notice Buffy’s beauty. Even though her hair was messy and she wasn’t wearing the nicest clothes, she still sparkled. "You are more beautiful than I remember." A sad smile crossed her face. "But you look older, sadder. What happened to the carefree Buffy I used to know? Here, I’ll cheer you up." He kissed her cheek and started to move to her lips. "No," she said. "I, I can’t. I just…" Tears formed in her eyes as she saw her Angel die in front of her. "What’s wrong?" "Angel." "What?" "He was a vampire with a soul. We loved each other very much. One night we made a big mistake. Little did we know, if he experienced one minute of true happiness, his soul would be take from him. When I awoke the next morning, he was the demon Angelus again. "He planned to awake a demon by pulling a sword out of him. It would suck the whole earth into Hell. The only way I could stop this is if I stuck a special sword into Angel. I got there before he performed the ritual, but when I was fighting, he took the sword out. We fought for a while, and the demon started to wake. But something strange happened: his soul was restored." Tears started pouring down her cheeks. "Buffy, are you-" "It was too late," she laughed bitterly. "It was too late. I told him to close his eyes. Then, just before the vortex sucked us up, I stuck the sword into his stomach. And so," she concluded, "now he’s in Hell." ***** "Buffy…" he whispered as the vortex closed. He was utterly confused and hurt, but then he started to remember. //Oh God, no, no. Buffy! I’m sorry,// he wanted to shout, but the words wouldn’t come out. "Angel," a voice whispered. "Buffy?" he asked. He turned around to find Buffy standing right in front of him. "Buffy, why are you here?" "I’m not really Buffy, only her heart. You see, the second she stabbed you, her heart was in Hell. She really loved you. She still does." "Let me go back, please," he begged as he fell on his knees. "That’s not the way it works. You have no control over what happens. Hell is to punish you. For all eternity, you will watch yourself killing Jenny Calendar. You will see how you tortured Buffy and her friends. You will watch her kill you over and over again. You will feel her pain and watch her continue to hold that pain the rest of your life. Welcome," she whispered, "to Hell." ***** Giles walked into the library the next day before class and saw everything: the broken glass, the outlined chalking of Kendra, the bag. All he could do is stand there and stare. "Amazing, isn’t it," Principal Snyder came up behind him, "that only one student can cause this much havoc." "You know it wasn’t her." "You know that, and I know that, but the police don’t. And they won’t figure it out." "Why were they going through my bag?" "They weren’t. I found Buffy Summers here the night of the murder after she assaulted the police officer. She’d taken a sword out of here." He chuckled. "We won’t have to worry about that happening again?" "Explain yourself." He had to restrain himself from hurting Snyder. "She’s expelled." Giles ran out of the library as fast as he could. He jumped into his car and drove to Buffy’s house. It took almost ten minutes of knocking before Mrs. Summers answered. Her face was red with tears. "Mrs. Summers," he barged in the house, "I must speak with your daughter." "She’s not here," she whispered. "She’ll never be here again." "Excuse me?" "I kicked her out. A vampire attacked me, and she and a friend of hers saved me. She told me she was a Vampire Slayer but wouldn’t make time to explain to me. She said she had to go save the world. I grabbed her and said I wouldn’t let her go, but she pushed me away. I told her, ‘If you walk out that door don’t ever think of coming back.’ But she didn’t listen…" "She, she told you?" Mrs. Summers looked off into the distance, "I shouldn’t have done that. Now, now she’s taken off." She handed him the paper. Dear Mom, I’m sorry I walked out on you yesterday, but I had to. I don’t regret making that decision, only that you couldn’t understand it. Last night I killed Angel. I loved him, and it was hard on both of us. Even if you didn’t mean what you said about not being able to come home, I’m not. There are too many painful memories here. And I can’t put you in danger. If you want to know more, talk to Mr. Giles. He’ll tell you. He’s always been there for me, and I know he’ll be there for you. I’ll miss you, and I love you very much. It’s better this way. Buffy ***** End Part 1 ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 18:37:05 EDT From: KylenRevik Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Oz This post sparked by "An Invitation To DInner", which on the whole, was a good concept. However, it made me think about a couple things...most prominantly, Oz's characterization. I know I've been having nightmares about Oz's speech patterns lately, given that he's in about four of the current fics I'm working on, and after reading this fic I realized I'm not the only one who has probs making Oz sound like, well, Oz. Not so much in thought and general ideas, as in the actual words he uses. When I write dialogue for Oz, usually what I do is write what I want him to _mean_, first. Then I go back and re-word it so it sounds more...Ozzish. Like, he tends to use very few words, as well as mixing up the order. Comes across as semi-stoned, out of it, as far as his actual words are...but when you look at it you realize wait, he's actually saying something intelligent. Yeah, realizing and having to work this way has made me totally self-conscious about writing Oz's dialogue, but I find it works better than just writing and hoping to get things right on the first go. So anyway, the question I wanted to ask was, how many other people think Oz is one of the hardest BtVS characters to write for? 'Cause I know he's darn close to having my vote. R ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 12:05:55 PDT From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (2/10) by Andrea Disclaimers in part one. Feedback to anewbery@hotmail.com Sunnydale high school library August 18, 1998 Xander and Cordelia were still sitting quietly in the library. Not a word had passed between them for the six hours since the others had left. Xander was waiting for Cordelia to ask the question. To accuse him of wanting Buffy. She never asked. He fell in love with her over those hours. When he had lost everything and she stood beside him. He felt the need to explain to her why he had done it. As if he could. "Cordelia, I was afraid. I did it because I thought if I told her she would falter and we would all die. I lost faith in her, because of Angel. I hate him yes, but not enough to trick her into killing him." "I know. It's okay. We'll get through this." Smiling shyly she ran her hands through his hair. "But how? Willow hates me, Buffy will too. If she ever is sane again. God, Cordy, did I cause this? Was it the shock of getting Angel back that snapped her. If she had been prepared would it have helped?" "Xander, no. Don't do this. You can't know...ever. I think that whatever you did the pain of killing Angel, of giving up her last hope for him was too much for her. And to kill him when he had his soul. I can't imagine what that was like." "Kill him, she never said she killed him." Xander was quiet for a few minutes then spoke with growing excitement, 'She sent him to hell. Cordelia, she sent him to hell!" "So?" "So, if he didn't turn to dust then maybe we can get him back. If we can get him back then he can save her." Xander jumped up from his chair. "Research, we've got to do lots of research." "Can you even bring someone back from hell?" "I don't know. I never used to even believe in hell. But, I think just about everything is possible. I mean, vampires exist." "Good point. Let's get to work." They spent the night looking through book after book, finding nothing yet refusing to give up. This was Buffy's only hope. The guilt of killing Angel would destroy her. Only Angel could release her from it. Cordelia and Xander finally fell asleep on the floor in the library just as dawn was breaking. They slept exhausted as the day passed, waking just as the sun was setting. Xander got up quickly, cursing himself for wasting a whole day he started looking through Giles books again. Cordelia stared at him, her worry for him shining in her eyes. "Xander, shouldn't we take a break. You haven't eaten since yesterday. Or showered." "Cordy, I can't. You can go. I understand. But this may be Buffy's only hope. She won't be able to forgive herself knowing he's in hell. Or to forgive me." "It's okay. I'll help. Let's get to work. But maybe we could order a pizza?" She picked up the book on top of the pile and opened it. "Cordelia." Xander stopped looking at his book and stared at her, " I love you." She stared back at him, surprise and happiness showing in her eyes, " I love you too. " "It wasn't about wanting Buffy." He had to say the words. They had been choking him since Willow first said them. "I know. But thanks for saying it." Smiling at him she returned to the books. They worked in silence for over three hours. Then Xander stopped, put down the book and looked at her. "I think I found it." "Oh...." Hours later they were still working fevourishly. Trying to find out all they could about the spell. It took them most of the evening to translate it from the original Latin, but when they finished it Xander realized they had it. Cordelia, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. "Xander, this sounds fairly risky. I mean you actually have to go to hell." She reread the spell, making sure she was right. "But I can bring Angel back with me." "If you find him, or don't go insane. You do realize this is HELL we are talking about. Historically it is not a very nice place." "I have to do this Cordelia. For Buffy." "Xander you don't have to sacrifice your life because you didn't tell her. She would tell you that. " "I won't get trapped. I'm in, I get Angel, I'm out." "Xander, nothing is ever that simple. Do you want me to end up like Buffy? All crazy cause my boyfriend's in hell?" "Cordelia. Please. This is serious." "I'm serious. And this binding to another person to keep yourself attached to this world. I mean there is only two of us. What if something goes wrong. I won't be able to do anything." "It will be okay. I trust you to bring me back. You can do it." "Fine. Maybe I can. But we still need help. Xander, this is not a two person job. We are not doing this until Giles returns. We have more than enough problems with people striking out on their own." "How about we wait two days? If they aren't back by then I'm going." "Deal. Now can we go get something to eat and get changed? I'm feeling distinctly less than clean." Leaving the library they held hands. Feeling hope for the future once again. Deciding without words that the next two days were for them. They would pretend to be two normal teenagers in love. Pushing all thoughts of Buffy's problems, that Xander was planning to go to hell, and of Willow's hatred and condemnation aside. They would take long walks and go to dinner and maybe even see a movie. Stepping outside the library they heard the phone ring. They stared at each other and slowly turned and walked back into the room. - --------- feedback...please. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 26 May 1998 12:06:42 PDT From: "Andrea Newbery" Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (3/10) by Andrea disclaimers in part one Motel in Los Angeles August 18, 1998 9:00 pm They had met one hour after leaving the library. Giles had rented a mini-van for there trip. Climbing in they headed off to save their friend. They didn't talk much. To caught up in their private fears. Willow finally had to speak, "What if we can't help her?" It was the worst fear she had. That they would find her and still not be able to save her. Willow silently cursed Xander again. Now that her anger had cooled she realized that his choice probably didn't change anything. But the fact that he made that choice altered forever her perception of who he was. She had lost one best friend on this day. They had to be able to save Buffy. Four hours later they hit the city limits. Los Angeles. It was late so they checked into a motel. Planning to wait for morning before going searching for Buffy. Willow had brought her laptop so she could search LA's police reports and hospital admissions. Just in case. There was no sign of her. They would have to look on foot. Early the next morning they were out and searching. Giles took off to look for Buffy in the van while Willow and Oz headed out on foot. Searching alley's and run-down buildings. She couldn't be staying in a motel, she had no money. Her father hadn't heard from her so she wasn't there. They searched all day, but ended up back at the motel at suppertime empty hearted. They all sat around dejected until Oz spoke: "Didn't Buffy used to slay here?" "Yes, Why?" "Well, did she ever say where the highest number of vampires were. Cause I see her as still slaying even if she's not thinking anymore." "Oz, of course. Giles, she would be slaying. She wouldn't be able not to. Do you know where she used to patrol?" "Yes. Yes. Right. Let's go. I think I can find it." They headed out to visit the graveyard, making a few quick stops to buy some crosses and a couple pieces of wood. Oz turned out to be a very quick study in the art of stake making. They felt so hopeful as they drove towards the cemetery. Maybe Buffy would be with them tonight. Darkness found Giles, Willow and Oz creeping in the shadows of the graveyard. They heard her scream long before they saw her. They ran quickly in the direction of the scream, fearing for her life. She was fighting three vampires. Her technique was flawless, her moves graceful and fluid. It should have been a picture of a textbook slaying. But it was wrong, she was wrong. Her hair hung limply like it hadn't been washed since she left Sunnydale. Her clothes were torn and filthy. Her face was blank, no emotion, she just kicked, punched, staked. Her expression never changed, but the most frightening thing was the sound of her scream. It streamed from her mouth continually, seeming as if it was actually tearing her soul as she fought. They watched. Waited. Prayed. Willow understood then how bad this was. How far gone Buffy was. And for the first time she understood the kind of guilt Buffy lived with every day. The horror of making one mistake that cost so much. If she had never cursed Angel again, Buffy wouldn't have killed the man she loved. She would have killed the demon who wore his face. As much as she wanted to blame Xander, it was really her fault. She was the one who performed the curse. She did this to Buffy. Giles grabbed her hand then as if he knew her thoughts. He whispered to her, "Guilt won't help her Willow." He was right. They had to concentrate on Buffy, on helping her deal with her guilt. Everything else could wait. They watched as Buffy dispatched the last vampire and sunk to the ground, empty. They watched her cry, not knowing how to approach her. She spoke then, to herself, to Angel, "Three more Angel. We got three more. No Buffy, Angel is in hell. Remember you sent him there. Sorry, I'm so sorry." Giles looked at Willow. She stood there crying. Buffy's pain was so raw, so undiluted by the months that had past. She seemed so small collapsed on a fresh grave. Oz stepped forward, wanting to go get her. Willow stopped him, "Let me go first." She walked over to Buffy slowly, standing over her waiting for Buffy to look up. After a few minutes with no response she whispered her name, "Buffy." Buffy looked up slowly at that. She stared blankly into Willow's face and then slowly recognition dawned. She reached her arms up to Willow, and Willow hugged her sinking to the ground with her. Both of them sobbing. Buffy kept repeating over and over, "He didn't know Willow, He didn't know." Willow just rocked her, telling her wordlessly that everything would be okay now. Giles came over then, disengaging Buffy from Willow he picked her up. She was totally limp then. She let him carry her to the van. Oz held Willows hand as they walked behind them. They found her. What would happen next seemed even more frightening now. They took her back to the hotel. Willow helped her shower then giving her a pair of her pajama's tucked her into bed. And sat up watching her. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #205 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)