From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #240 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Monday, June 22 1998 Volume 02 : Number 240 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion. BUFFYFIC:Time Heals All 1/1 Re: BUFFYFIC: Monsters (1/1) BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37) Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 10:53:14 -0700 From: Jeff Weitkamp Subject: BUFFYFIC: Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion. Name: Strangers Author: Jeff W E-Mail: weit@inlink.com Feedback: Yes please. Tell me anything. Was is good, bad, or what. Distribution: Please ask and I'll say yes. Spoilers: Becoming 1 & 2 Summary: This is a Buffy only story dealing with her experiences soon after Becoming 2 Rating: PG Time line: After Becoming part 2 Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story belong to Joss Wheadon ect. ************************* Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What could she have done that was so bad? But I could tell that her mind was made up. "Well, at least let me give you a ride into town." "Sure." Bonnie said. "Let me see if Lila is ready. Then I'll tell her that we will follow her into town." Bonnie walked over to Lila and sat on the bench next her and they began to talk. I tried to think about what I could do for Bonnie. I couldn't think of anything. I knew that she wouldn't take any money. Then I got an idea. I got $200 dollars from my wallet. Then I reached into the backseat for Bonnie's jacket. I put the money in one of the side pockets. Hopefully she wouldn't discover it until it was too late. When I got back out of the car Bonnie and Lila had stood up and walked to Lila's car still talking. Then they hugged and Lila got into her car. Bonnie walker over to me and got into the car. I did the same. "After the doors closed Bonnie said. "She'll meet you at the hospital in town." "What did you tell her about you?" I asked. "I said you had to drop me off before we got there." I started the car and waited for Lila to pull out. Then I followed her. We drove in silence for a while. Then Bonnie said. "A friend of mine was killed. I had just found her. Then the police got there and assumed I did it. But I didn't I swear to you I didn't." "I believe you." I said. "Thank you." She said quietly. "I just wanted you to know." Thanks." Was all I could think of to say. In ten minutes, we were in town. I pulled into a parking lot and said to Bonnie. "How's this?" "This is fine." She said. "I can't thank you enough." "And I thank you." I said smiling as I got out of the car. Bonnie got out then reached into the back seat and grabbed her bag and jacket. Then she walked around to my side of the car. "Where will you go?" I asked. "I don't know," she said. "I'm not even sure where I am." "Well." I said. "See that intersection there." Bonnie looked back and said, "Yes." "Well if you go left there you will head west back towards home. If you go right, you'll be heading east. Away from home and all your problems." Bonnie smiled. "Thanks again." Then with her eyes getting a little moist she grabbed me in a tight hug. I hugged back and blinked back a tear of my own. "You take care of yourself." I said. Bonnie released me and said. "You to." Then she kissed me on the cheek. Then I reached for my wallet and said. "Here you'll need some money." "No John. I won't take it. You've done more than enough for me already." "But." I said. "John. You wouldn't make me hurt you, would you?" She said smiling. "Well since you put it that way." I said putting my wallet away. I should have been an actor I thought. "I do." Bonnie replied. "Now if you are ever in Nashville look me up." Bonnie smiled and said. "I will. Thanks again." Then she opened her bag and stuffed her jacket in side. Good I thought. She won't find the money for a while. Then with a wave she picked up the bag. Turned around and headed towards the intersection. In a moment, she reached it. She paused for a moment looking left and right. Then she looked left and right again obviously trying to decide which way to go. I got into the car. Then looked back at Bonnie still standing there looking left and right. I crossed my fingers and thought to myself. Go left little girl. Go home and face your problems. You're too young to be out on your own like this. You should be worrying about where to shop, or who will ask you to the big dance. Not where you will sleep. Or where your next meal is come from. I started to drive off but I stopped. I had to watch to see which way she would go. - ------ I stood at the intersection looking left and right. I couldn't decide if I should go left, and back to Sunnydale? Or right away from Sunnydale and everything else? Left or right, which would it be Buffy? Left would take me to home where I have a mom who hates me. Where I am in constant danger and put my friends in danger. And where Everything I see there will remind me of Angel. And every time I think of Angel, I will remember how I betrayed him. Right will take me away from Sunnydale, all the pain, and all the danger. But could I run away forever? The time with John had been good. I thought about things other than my problems for a change. I also managed to do some real thinking about my problems. I also helped two people out of very bad situations. I guess no matter where I go I'll always be the slayer. Killer of vampires and demons. Protector of the masses. I looked left and right again. Which would it be Summers? Turn left and go west? Or turn right and go east. Finally, I made up my mind. I picked up my bag with all my worldly possessions and walked straight ahead to the north. Not west and not east. Why? I'm not totally sure. I guess that I've decided that I haven't healed yet. There was still a lot of emotional damage to repair. Many things to sort out in my mind. I may not have healed but I think that now I'm at least ready to start the healing process. The End. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 13:33:54 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC:Time Heals All 1/1 Title~ Time Heals All 1/1 Author~ Shani (TruPhile@aol.com) Spoilers~ Becoming I and II Summary/authors note~ I am a General Hospital addict, as well as a Buffy addict. A GH character, Brenda Barrett (Vanessa Marcil) performed this monologue that I thought would work really well with Buffy’s feelings after the events in Becoming I & II. This is not the exact monologue, I’ve changed it around a bit to fit with the story. Disclaimer~ Buffy and co. are property of Joss Whendon, Sandollar Productions, etc... Time Heals All She felt as though she were living some one else’s life. In a way, she supposed that it was true. She had become some one else. Well, she had tried. * * * “Hold on a ‘sec!” Pike yelled at who ever was knocking so loudly at his apartment door. He pulled on a tee-shirt and yawned as he opened the door. “Buffy! What are you doing here?!? Is everything ok? Come in,” he said, now happy he had decided not to ignore his visitor. * * * She and Pike had talked for a long time. They had talked about old times, new adventures and her reason’s for leaving. Buffy stopped. She sat down, recalling what has happened. * * * Buffy laughed. “So, I guess to sum it all up, I’m no longer Buffy,” she said. “What? I’m not quite sure what you mean,” a now very confused Pike responded. Buffy looked at him for a moment. “Um, k...well it’s like I made up this character and now I going to *be* this character,” she began to explain. Pike interupted. “Can you show her to me. The character you want to be I mean.” Buffy looked down. “Alright. well, she’s a young woman who woke up one morning and said to herself, ‘I’m going to leave. After breakfast I’m just going ot walk out my door and go to a bus...or a plane’ and she went.” “Where did she go?” Pike said, trying to understand what Buffy wanted, where she planned on going. “Anywhere. As long as it’s by the ocean.” Buffy answered without hesitation. “Why does she want to go? What does she think will happen?” Pike again interupted. “No one will miss me,” she began. At first, Pike was unsure whether Buffy was referring to herslf or the character. “For days probably. And it just won’t matter because I’ll be alone, in a house on the beach. Free from everything, free of dissapointment. And years will pass...and I won’t even notice because there’ll be no pain to mark the time.” Buffy looked as if she were in a far off place. Finally Pike understood. She wasn’t Buffy. She’s wasn’t talking about this character. Right now, Buffy was the character. “No line from one day to the next. Only the bookes that I read. And the characters will be my only acquaintances. Just fantasy people, with no concerns beyond the pages of their story. And...they’ll be so real to me. More real than anyone in the town, who won’t even know me. I’ll just listen to them, and they won’t even notice that my hair has turned white, and that I have lines on my face. They won’t even notice that I’ve become an old woman. And one day, I’m going to wake up, and I won’t remember why I left. I won’t remember if I took a bus...or a plane. I’ll wake up and believe that I’ve alwys been there. And that’s the day, that I will step onto the sand...and walk into the water. And the waves...will just boil arouns me. And the water is so warm. And they’ll pick me up and carry me. And I’ll leave again. This time foreve. Gone without a trace.” Buffy looked at Pike. Several tears ran down her face. “Hh..mmm..uh....” was all Pike could say. He didn’t know what to say to the broken slayer. She couldn’t just walk away. He knew it, and she would need to realize that too. * * * She realized that now. She couldn’t be that fanasy person. She was the slayer. She would return to her watcher, her mother, her friends, her pain, and her memories. And they would pass. Time would heal her wounds. Something still bothered her about her visit with Pike. * * * “Buffy,” a soft voice whispered. She knew whose voice it was. She would recognize it anywhere. “Angel? Where are you?” Buffy called into the darkness. She couldn’t figure out where he was, where he had been. The memories hit her like a punch in the stomach. He was in Hell. She had sent him to Hell. “No,” his voice soothed. “It’s not your fault. Come home, Buff. Come back to me.” “Where are you?!?” she called frentically. “Waiting.” Buffy woke up frantic and crying. She was unable to shake the feeling that something had changed. * * * She was still unable to shake the feeling as she entered Sunnydale. She walk blindly. She found herslf in front of his house. The feeling was stronger here. She opened the door, slowly and carefully. Trying to prepare for the pain the apartment would cause. * * * ‘She knows’ he thought to himself as he waited. She may not know she knows, but she knows. Just then, Angel turned to see the door slowly open. A smile crossed his face. They had a lot to discuss, but it would work out. It had to, look at all they’ve been through. He watched her face go from pained to shocked. He hald out his hand to her. They needed to talk. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Feed back please!! This is my first post. ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 14:01:43 EDT From: Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Monsters (1/1) if anyone on the buffyfic list actually gets this, could you please send any fic from 6/16-today to me please?? I accidentally deleted all of my mail.(Brilliant, huh?) thankyou so much! **Heather**(aka idiot girl) ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 14:51:12 -0700 From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) Name: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo Author: Taygeta Address: taygeta@juno.com Feedback: Pretty Please with a cherry on top! Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first. Spoiler: None Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. Rating: PG ***************************** In Opacitatem Habitant Modo By: Taygeta I see blackness for there is nothing else to see. A cold and lonely world inside this head of mine, in which I am left to exist upon and salvage for images of memories long ago dead. What I would give to see even the tiniest break of light in this dreary realm. To view a face…an image, but all I can do is see the murkiness of the confined spaces of my mind. So quickly had the light from my world dimmed, as if the on/off switch of my eyes had been ripped from within me…leaving me with a fading bulb of which to dwell upon until what was left was no more. My present, muddled state, I owe to this…the dying of the light. Lying on my bed, I feel the warmth of the black sun upon my skin through the window of my room, but such rays of sunshine do not penetrate to where the coldness lies…where the hatred has become solid ice. My anger…my fury…I'm beginning to wonder, if these are what sustains me because it seems that they are all I have left of the yesteryear. My anger and my fury are the only two things I have always been able to rely upon because they have remained so consistent in all my years. I turned my head to the sound of the opening of my bedroom door, although my eyes cannot see the person intruding on my desolate domicile…force of habit, I suppose. For some bizarre reason all my senses, especially that of hearing, have been heightened to some impossible level, but I don't want these heightened senses. I want the senses I had before…I want my eyes…and to see…to be…like the Buffy Summers that had lived before her succumbing confrontation with evil. The visit was brief…a friend of a friend, I think that person was, who came to say that they were sorry for what had occurred. All visits to my domain were brief as if no one could stand to look at me…as if I was a creature to fear, but they have the most to fear. They are the ones who are not protected from the demons that took the sun away, because I'm not there to protect them. A blind slayer…no one had ever thought it possible…all those that knew of the slayer always thought that their powers healed them rapidly, but my eyes have been gone for a month, and still I have no sight. It is just possible that there are even some ailments that even the powers of a slayer can't heal. I know Giles is still hoping, still reading…even praying that my eyes return to me, but I think even his hopes have faltered. They didn't know but I heard them when they read the prophecy in one of Giles' texts… … "Willow, Xander, Cordelia," I had heard Giles approach my friends from where I sat in my hospital bed. "G-man, what's the word?" Xander concerned voice followed, "Did you read anything good in those books of yours?" "She's going to get her sight back, right?" Willow asked in a hopeful tone. I heard hesitation in Giles' voice before he said, "W-well…I'm not sure…" and then I heard the sound of leafing pages follow, "This passage read, 'The darkness shall overtake her, and rob her of the light. Her sight taken, her battle still to come, and whether it be win or lose, she will live in darkness and if that be, than we live only in darkness.'" Willow's voice was a hushed whisper as she read the Latin words that ended the phrase, "In opacitatem habitant modo…" …Those echo to me in my sleep, and that conversation so inadvertently heard haunts me in nightmares and the darkest of daydreams. Through them, I have given up all hope of seeing, but hope is not lost in the battle against that which took my eyes from me. I will fight…as it said I would, and I will win because losing isn't possible. My eyes may be gone, but my fight isn't gone, and if I can't see with my eyes, I'll just have to make do with what's left of my heart. ******************** The End Feedback...anyone? _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:00:26 EDT From: Subject: Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song, rather than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho. R ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:26:41 -0700 From: Wirchler Subject: Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) KylenRevik@aol.com wrote: > > Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song, rather > than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho. > > R So would I. I'd like to know what happens after that as well.....it certainly leaves itself open to continuation......what the conflict is, the results, etc. Is that really the end, or are you just going to leave us hanging? :) - -- Wirchler wirchler@pacbell.net Note to self: If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes!! ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 23:33:39 -0700 From: _-Sun-_ Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37) Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37) He came towards her. Saying words she could only make out as blurs. Sorry's, or remorseful sayings. Apologizing for unintentionally hurting her. She felt her body relax, as she slumped against the wall. There were less than a handful of words that could describe her feelings. And the most common rang out. Alone. What had she gotten herself into? He was closer. She couldn't remember him moving, but he was closer now. Everything was closer! The walls had moved, but didn't. The window's were smaller, and yet the same. How did she get boxed in? What had she done to deserve this? Drusilla panicked, Her body shacking, screaming, crying, franticly she clenched the long fabric hanging down and with all her might pulled, trying to get up, get away. She saw the sun shine in her head, before the room was engulfed. Angelus's screams were etched into her mind, echoing as she looked outside. She stood, He was gone, the sunlight... It had driven him away... She scrambled to the window. Looking back at the door fearful he might return. The door was broken in, shattered and laying on the floor in pieces. Drusilla reacted quickly though, pulling the thick glass upwards. She scrambled out the window, tearing holes in her legs as she tried to fit through the rectangular opening. She eventually got through, shaken and torn a bit. But on her way downwards managed to catch her skirt on the nails on the roof... "Drusilla?" a voice echoed behind her. She yanked her head back, to see Angelus standing nearer to the doorway concealed in shadows. She stared at him, frozen in horror for a second, and then just scared. Safe, and scared. Angelus shook his head. "Don't go." Drusilla pulled on the tattered dress, ripping it and sending her onto the roof. She stood outside the house, on top of the cabin. Unstable as she was, Drusilla began to giggle, spinning in circles. For the first time in what seemed like forever she was engulfed in sunlight. For the first time in what seemed like forever she felt safe, and what made that so magical was that as long as the daylight shone brightly she *was* safe. Without much less than a backwards glance Drusilla rolled herself to the edge of the roofing, painfully stretching her stomach until she could feel the tips of her toes hitting the floor and she dropped. Pain shot through her body, from her ankle, from her waist, from her ribs. But never had pain ever felt so good... * Angelus kicked the chair as he paced the small cabin back and forth. The chair broke in a couple places, splintering. And he was trapped. Trapped by the cursed daytime sun. How had he managed to let her get away? After years and years of experience? Supernatural strength even, and she - the towns demon/witch Drusilla - had gotten the best of him. Angelus' fist connected with the wall, leaving a dent much larger than his fist, and a hiss escaped through fanged teeth. He had to get to her. She was wounded. How far could she make it? Did she even know where she was? Angelus fell down into the broken chair, sleep coming quickly. He knew it would - and though unbidden it was not unwelcome. He would awake at the first ray of sunshine gone over the hilltops, and seek out to reclaim his Drusilla. A nice thought before he fell into unnatural sleep was of her. Of her strength, and will. Of her courage, and grace, and beauty. And of the look on her face, before she disappeared in the sun... - -- _-SuN-_ SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html K - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/kinky/ Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes And found myself alone alone. Alone above a raging sea That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside of me (The Cure) _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 02:23:18 -0700 From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.) Subject: Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1) On Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:26:41 -0700 Wirchler writes: >KylenRevik@aol.com wrote: >> >> Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song, >rather >> than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho. >> >> R > >So would I. I'd like to know what happens after that as well.....it >certainly leaves itself open to continuation......what the conflict >is, >the results, etc. > >Is that really the end, or are you just going to leave us hanging? :) >-- >Wirchler >wirchler@pacbell.net > >Note to self: If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes!! > It was suppose to be a one time deal, but since I've gotten feedback requesting for more. I won't leave you hanging. So better to change it to In Opacitatem Habitant Modo #1. I'll explain through other characters, so the first person bit will change with every story. I'll write it so the POV will be understandable for the transition of characters. I think I might pull a William Faulkner for the ending and have everyone's POV together. Thanks for the comments, Charity aka Taygeta Writer of "Capeside:the Hellmouth," "My Moria," "Chronicles of the White Knight," "Elan Vital," "BSC:Freshman," "Summer Waves," "The Summer After," and "Beyond the Creek." Co-president of the Buffy-Xander Lovers Club To Join, fill out the form at: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/9257/bxlclub.html Keeper of Xander's quote, "People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream-what they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive." Keeper of Xander's awkward moment with Buffy (Phases) Keeper of Xander's ability to put together a M-16 in 57 seconds "She wasn't you...when I was about to be trampled by those bulls, all I could think about was that I would never see you again," -Richard to Caroline "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone, but you," -Scully "Our love is like a rose...beautiful when in bloom, but it'll never last," Tuxedo Mask to Sailormoon "She's everything," -Dawson about Joey "Everything I've ever done has been for you!" Ethan Hawke in Great Expectations. "To whisper in your ears...words that are old as time..." -Celine Dion, "I Love You" "...we are still innocent...it's easy we are faltered, doesn't matter..." - - Sarah Mclachlan, "Adia" "Don't tell me you can't love me - you can - you must - why Emily" - his eyes had met the moonlit brilliance of hers for a moment - "you *do*." ~ from L. M. Montgomery's Emily Novels: "Emily's Quest" _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #240 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)