From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #247 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Friday, June 26 1998 Volume 02 : Number 247 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (3/11) BUFFYFIC: Reflections 2/7 BUFFYFIC: Iris Part 2/2 BUFFYFIC: Iris Part 2/2 See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 14:45:50 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (3/11) Notes: Takes place the January or so of Angel's change. E-mail me for missing pieces. :) Disclaimers: Blake and the Coordinator, etc, are mine. The rest would appear to belong to High God Joss. Distribution: Not without my permission, please. Feedback: YES! To KylenRevik@aol.com, please, whether it be good or bad or something in-between. And now, on to the show! ~ Three "Hey, Buffy." Buffy glanced over her shoulder, offering a smile as Xander walked up behind her. "Hey," she replied, weaving her way through the crowd on her way to the library. "S'up?" The other teen grinned at her and shook his head. "New topic: who was the creep from last night, and why wouldn't you talk about him when you got back?" "He's not a creep," Buffy said, her tone a bit defensive. "He's an old friend." "Sure," Xander said indulgently, before giving her a look that let her know just how little he believed what she was saying. "Now the truth. The guy walks in, kisses you like there's no tomorrow, so what's the deal?" Turning to look at the other teen, Buffy sighed and stopped walking. Xander did the same, waiting expectantly. "He's a _friend_," Buffy said, stressing the word. She sighed. "It's complicated." "So wait a sec." Xander held up a finger, then pointed at his chest. "If I'm your friend, am I allowed to kiss you like that?" He smiled slightly. She grinned, picking up her walk again. "You wish," she replied as Xander scrambled to catch up, "but I'd knock you flat." "So," he said, "that would make him _more_ than a friend, wouldn't it?" "I guess," she replied. "He's more of the ex-boyfriend sort of old friend." "Ah-_hah_." A pause. "How ex?" "Very ex." "Good." Buffy grinned slightly, then shook her head. "You can interrogate him later, yourself," she said. "He's going to check in with me some time today..." She trailed off as they entered the library, and she saw the expression on Giles' face. Her Watcher wasn't one prone to excessive over-reactions, so when she saw the way he was poring over the Codex, and the troubled look in his eyes, she immediately put aside the light mood she'd had while speaking with Xander. For his part, the other teen fell silent. "Something up, Giles?" she asked. "Yes," Giles said quietly. Then he glanced up at her. "We have something of a problem." "That's generally the case when something's up," Xander said. "I was called by the Network Coordinator, earlier this morning," Giles said. "And since then, I've spoken with Mr. Zebuto- - - Kendra's Watcher, if you recall-- and he recieved a similar message." "Coordinator? What?" Buffy shook her head. "Start over, Giles," she said. "'Cause you're not making any sense right now." Giles shook his head and moved back to the Codex. Buffy followed him with a sigh. "Giles," she said quietly, "what's going on?" "The Coordinator," Giles said, straightening a bit, "is the one who...runs the Watcher Network." "Your boss?" Xander piped up. "Effectively speaking." "Which is the only way we ever speak around here," Xander said. He forced his grin away when neither Giles nor Buffy returned it, and sighed. "So, the big Coordinator Guy called you up. Wow, cool, let's kiss his feet and move on. Next topic?" He shook his head at the expressions the words earned him. "Or not." With a sigh, Giles looked back at Buffy. "At any rate," he said, "I was...given some rather disturbing news." "Okay," Buffy said. "Not like we ever get anything else, but what was it?" "The Network," Giles began. "...is an extremely...how to put this...farsighted organization. Thus the collections of prophecies and such, to allow Watchers and Slayers to make the best descisions possible when they need to determine what courses of action to take." He swallowed, and Buffy began to get the distinct feeling that something seriously off-the-wall was going on. "At any rate," Giles said, "they have been made aware of the case with yourself and Kendra. And they have a rather unique perspective on the entire situation." "And that would be?" "That because your death created a new Slayer, if you die again, fate may decide to give a repeat performance." Buffy frowned. "Excuse me?" "In short," Giles said haltingly, "they feel that it might be best for the fate of humanity as well as for the crusade against the vampires and evil in general, if there were more than just two Slayers." "Hold _on_, whoa, back up," Xander broke in. "Now, I realize I'm an idiot as far as these big world-saving things go, but are you saying what I think you're saying?" "I'm saying that they are very possibly going to set things up so as to...permit a direct attack on Buffy's life." The two teens stared at him in shocked silence. "_What_?!" Buffy finally screeched. "They-- I was told--" Giles shook his head. "They will, uh, how to say this without giving you the wrong, the wrong impression..." "Wrong _impression_?!" Buffy yelled. "What the hell kind of impression would be _right_?!" She shook her head. "I've been fighting their fight now for two _years_ and now they want to _kill_ me?!" Giles took a breath and opened his mouth to speak. "Buffy--" "Don't _Buffy_ me!" she yelled. "I give up two years and this is those assholes are gonna repay me?!" Her eyes narrowed. "Wait a sec," she said. "Why did you even tell me?" Then, derisively, "You didn't honestly think I'd just go _along_ with it, did you?" "Whoa," Xander said. "Buff, that's kind of harsh, don't you--" "Shut up, Xander," Buffy snapped, glaring at Giles. "Come on," she directed her Watcher. "Did you think I was gonna just sit quiet and let somebody kill me because they _say_ they'll bring me back?" "Of course not," Giles replied, shaking his head. "Buffy, please...calm down." "I don't think so," she said. "Buffy," Giles said, a little more force in his voice, "get a hold of yourself." The Slayer glared at him defiantly, and he took her by the shoulders to hold her still. "I am not," he said, "about to let anyone kill you, is that understood?" She nodded, despite the anger and resentment that was showing through in her expression. "Good," Giles said. He glanced over at Xander. "Xander," he said, "would you please leave the two of us?" Xander glanced from Buffy, then to the Watcher, then back. "You gonna be okay?" he asked her. She glared at Giles, then nodded to Xander. "Yeah," she said. "_I'll_ be fine." Giles sighed. "Mister Harris, if you please..." He nodded toward the doorway. "On my way," Xander said, walking out of the room. "First of all," Giles said, "there was a young man named Pike here to see you earlier. I don't want you to speak with him." Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell not?" she asked. "He's a friend, if they're going to try and kill me, I need all the friends I can get, don't I?" "Except that he may not be a friend any longer," Giles said quietly. When he saw the stricken look that passed across her face, he sighed. "Buffy," he said, "you must understand, he knows so much about our procedure and--" "He read Merrick's books," Buffy interrupted. "There would have been none left to read within days," Giles said quietly. "The Network clears out the belongings of dead Watchers as soon as they recieve word of the death, to assure that the materials won't fall into the wrong hands." He sighed. "I am sorry, Buffy, but..." "So you're saying Pike's going to try to kill me?" She shook her head. "That's insane. He knows I could beat the crap out of him in a fight, and he's just here to catch up on old times." "Be that as it may," Giles said, "I don't want you speaking with him unless there are others around you. Myself, Xander, or Willow. Or Cordelia, I suppose." He tacked the last on, realizing a split second later that Cordelia would most likely do more harm than good if she were to try to defend the Slayer. "But isn't that overreacting?" Buffy asked. "Just because he shows up, doesn't mean he--" She took a deep breath, and Giles noticed that it was slightly uneven. He sighed. "Buffy," he said, "everything will be fine, so long as you're careful and follow my instructions. For once." "Easy for you to say," she muttered. "They're not gonna try to kill _you_." Giles shook his head. "Even if they did kill you," he said, "they would do all in their power to bring you back to life. You're a Slayer, Buffy, they're not--" "Not _a_ Slayer," she broke in. "_The_ Slayer. I'm supposed to be _the_ Slayer." She swallowed hard, and it was only then that Giles realized she was close to tears. "You don't understand this at all, do you! This isn't something I ever wanted to do, but I've done it best I could for two _years_ now, partly 'cause I didn't have a choice, but also because it's something _I_ can do, nobody else! Merrick told me that I'm the Chosen One! You did too!" She shook her head, taking a quick breath, then continued. "Chosen _One_! One is not _plural_! Now, not only are they trying to kill me...but..." She sighed, falling into a brief silence. "This is something that makes me special, Giles. And now they're going to try to take that away." A tear spilled over onto her cheek, tracing a path down her smooth skin, blurring the mascara slightly. "It was one thing with Kendra. That was an accident and nobody knew it would happen and she stays outta my way anyway. This, though..." The Slayer took a quick breath, obviously trying to keep herself from letting more tears go. "This just isn't _fair_." Giles sighed, shaking his head and drawing her into his arms, almost surprised that she let him hold her. "I know," he murmured, "and Buffy, you must believe me when I tell you, I would never let them hurt you. And I'm going to fight this, best I can. I promise you." Not moving or trying to pull away from him, Buffy tensed slightly, her body shaking harder as she began to cry in earnest. Giles held her, shaking his head and rocking her slightly, and trying to decide what on earth he was going to be able to do about the mess that was quick developing around them all. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please! ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 17:02:51 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Reflections 2/7 Title~ Reflections 2/7 Author~Shani Timeline~ let’s say between Go Fish and Becoming I & II--Becomings won’t happen here Summary~ Angelus becomes Angel, but has some thinking to do before going to Buffy...if he decides to go to Buffy at all. Disclaimer~ The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended. Story for entertainment purposes only. Feedback~ YES, YES, YES, YES!! Please send all comments to TruPhile@aol.com “It was the strangest thing,” Buffy said to Willow on their way to the library. “I felt like some one was there, ya know, like watching me. I thought it was a vamp or something evil, but I couldn’t sense any type of demon.” “Maybe a regular old human was passing by,” Willow suggested hopefully. “Will, when has it ever been a ‘regular old human’?” Buffy asked her friend. “All right, you have a point, but there have been no prophecies and it’s been ‘slow slaying’ I believe you called it...Anyway, I’m sure it was nothing,” Will said, trying to ease her friend’s mind as well as her own. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Angel had made it to his apartment before sun rise, barely. It looked the same as the last time he saw it. But it felt so empty. The first thing he did was put on the claddagh ring, the heart pointing towards him. He guessed that he would have to talk to Buffy and know that she had forgiven him before he could even begin to forgive himself. The only problem with that theory is that he wasn’t sure he could face Buffy, or how she would react. Did she feel guilty too? ‘God’ he thought to himself. ‘What if she blames herself for Angelus coming back.’ He knew he would have to see her soon. Not only for her sake, but for his as well. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Giles frowned. He had read the passage five times now, and each time it was the same. This was bad. He stood and turned as the library doors swung open. Buffy and Willow stopped their conversation as soon as they saw the look on Giles’ face. “Spill,” Buffy said flatly. She knew that look. Something was up. “I-i have come upon a prophecy,” Giles said. “Ok, that helps,” Buffy replied sarcastically. Willow walked to the table where several books lay open. A dusty, old book in the center of the pile caught her attention. She picked it up and read to herself for a moment. “I think I recognize this, well something like it,” Willow began catching both Giles and Buffy’s attention. “Recognize what?” Xander said as he walked in the door, Cordelia on his arm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sitting on the couch, Angel tried desperately to remember why Angelus had been so looking forward to today. Something was coming and he needed to know what it was, so did Buffy. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 15:25:18 PDT From: "Jennifer M." Subject: BUFFYFIC: Iris Part 2/2 TITLE: "Iris" AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Major Angel/Buffy angst... Angel and Buffy are thinking back on their times together, and know that a future together is impossible. RATING: PG TIME PERIOD: After Becoming 2, Angel has returned from Hell, with his soul. THANK YOU: Andrea Newbery, you were inspiring. Also thank you to the Goo Goo Dolls, who gave me this idea. Thank you Joss Whedon for the great series, and for writing terrific dialogue, some of which I used for this piece. FEEDBACK: Yes, please. DISTRIBUTION: Just ask. DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Seriously, nothing. I have only my ideas, so please take that into consideration. "Iris" is property of the Goo Goo Dolls (absolutely my favorite song!), and Characters from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belong to Joss Whedon, et. al. NOTES: This is part two of a two parter. <> indicates thoughts and memories. Single quote marks indicate speaking to oneself. Iris Part 2 "Buffy" Buffy lay on her bed, following the aftermath of her final battle with Angel. She had physically fought with Angelus so many times in the recent past, but this "fight" was the hardest. The tears fell from her eyes as she thought of all the times Angel was there when she needed him. She tried to think of all of the times he wasn't. But she couldn't. She was unable to remember the horrible things that had happened after she loved him so fully. So completely. After she gave him her soul. She gave up so much for him, and when it happened, when he changed because of her love, she did not even know. She knew, however, that her life was pretty much over. Without Angel in it, she was as good as dead. But, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. And, nothing would ever matter again. There was no possible way for their love to survive. She's a human. A Vampire-Slaying Human, sure, but, still a human. And, Angel. Well, he's a Vampire. He is everything she hates. But, she doesn't hate him. What she feels for him does not even come close to hatred. In fact, it is the exact opposite. ‘He is the exact definition of what I want in my life. I can't think of a reason to live without him.' ~~~And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now.~~~ She continued to think of the times he was there, offering comfort. He would pull her into his strong arms, and shield her against the world. They fought side by side, teaching and learning from one another over the months. She felt they had finally come to a place where they trusted each other completely. Buffy knew she would never feel the same for anyone else, ever. He was her first and only true love. Nothing anyone could say would ever change that. Through all of the hard times of the past few months, Buffy held onto the hope that her Angel would be returned to her. She could block out all of the things that he had done. She could erase all of the pain he had caused her. In the time before he changed back to her Angel, it was all she could think of to get her through. Especially when he was at his worst. When he was watching her. When he was taunting her. When he killed Jenny. When he tried over and over to kill her. To kill Giles. To kill Willow and Xander. ~~~And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight~~~ Buffy thought she would just hide away in her room forever. She'd ever again see the light of day or the darkness of night. She had ust spent the worst night of her life telling Angel to leave her alone. To never, ever bother her again. To never love her again. And,he agreed. But, she didn't want that. She wanted him in her life. She wanted to be able to run to him. To hide away in his apartment, held in the safety of his arms. She remembered the cruelty in her voice. She remembered the pain in his face. The confusion. It nearly broke her resolve to leave him forever. And, it did break her heart. She remembered turning her head, so she wouldn't have to see the pleading in his eyes. It had taken every ounce of strength she had to not run into his arms, and tell him to forget it, that they would work it out somehow. She hid her head in her pillow, and cried like she never had before. ~~~`And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive~~~ Subject: BUFFYFIC: Iris Part 2/2 TITLE: "Iris" AUTHOR: Jennifer M. (cliodhna25@hotmail.com) SUMMARY: Major Angel/Buffy angst... Angel and Buffy are thinking back on their times together, and know that a future is impossible. RATING: PG TIME PERIOD: After Becoming 2, Angel has returned from Hell, with his soul. THANK YOU: Andrea Newbery, you were inspiring. Also thank you to the Goo Goo Dolls, who gave me this idea. Thank you Joss Whedon for the great series, and for writing terrific dialogue, some of which I used for this piece. FEEDBACK: Yes, please. DISTRIBUTION: Just ask. DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Seriously, nothing. I have only my ideas, so please take that into consideration. "Iris" is property of the Goo Goo Dolls (absolutely my favorite song!), and Characters from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" belong to Joss Whedon, et. al. NOTES: This is the second part of a two parter. <> indicates thoughts and memories. Single quote marks indicate speaking to oneself. Iris Part 2 "Buffy" Buffy lay on her bed, following the aftermath of her final battle with Angel. She had physically fought with Angelus so many times in the recent past, but this "fight" was the hardest. The tears fell from her eyes as she thought of all the times Angel was there when she needed him. She tried to think of all of the times he wasn't. But she couldn't. She was unable to remember the horrible things that had happened after she loved him so fully. So completely. After she gave him her soul. She gave up so much for this man, and when it happened, when he changed because of her love, she did not even know. She knew, however, that her life was pretty much over. Without Angel in it, she was as good as dead. But, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. And, nothing would ever matter again. There was no possible way for their love to survive. She's a human. A Vampire-Slaying Human, sure, but, still a human. And, Angel. Well, he's a Vampire. He is everything she hates. But, she doesn't hate him. What she feels for him does not even come close to hatred. In fact, it is the exact opposite. ‘He is the exact definition of what I want in my life. I can't think of a reason to live without him.' ~~~And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now.~~~ She continued to think of the times he was there, offering comfort. He would pull her into his strong arms, and shield her against the world. They fought side by side, teaching and learning from one another over the months. She felt they had finally come to a place where they trusted each other completely. Buffy knew she would never feel the same for anyone else, ever. He was her first and only true love. Nothing anyone could say would ever change that. Through all of the hard times of the past few months, Buffy held onto the hope that her Angel would be returned to her. She could block out all of the things that he had done. She could erase all of the pain he had caused her. In the time before he changed back to Angel, it was all she could think of to get her through. Especially when he was at his worst. When he was watching her. When he was taunting her. When he killed Jenny. When he tried over and over to kill her. To kill Giles. To kill Willow and Xander. ~~~And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life And sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight~~~ Buffy thought she would just hide away in her room forever. She'd never again see the light of day or the darkness of night. She had just spent the worst night of her life telling Angel to leave her alone. To never, ever bother her again. To never love her again. And, he agreed. But, she didn't want that. She wanted him in her life. She wanted to be able to run to him. To hide away in his apartment, held in the safety of his arms. She remembered the cruelty in her voice. She remembered the pain in his face. It nearly broke her resolve to leave him forever. And, it did break her heart. She remembered turning her head, so she wouldn't have to see the pleading in his eyes. The confusion. It had taken every ounce of strength she had to not run into his arms, and tell him to forget it, that they would work it out somehow. She hid her head in her pillow, and cried like she never had before. ~~~And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive~~~