From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #250 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Sunday, June 28 1998 Volume 02 : Number 250 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (6/11) BUFFYFIC: Friends No Matter What (1/1) BUFFYFIC: Reflections 4/7 See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 14:42:26 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Fallen From Grace" (6/11) Notes: Takes place the January or so of Angel's change. E-mail me for missing pieces. :) Disclaimers: Blake and the Coordinator, etc, are mine. The rest would appear to belong to High God Joss. Distribution: Not without my permission, please. Feedback: YES! To KylenRevik@aol.com, please, whether it be good or bad or something in-between. And now, on to the show! ~ Six He could save her. That's what Alistair Blake had made clear to Pike, that he'd just been given the power to save the woman he loved from the life she hated. *God, hold _on_ a minute, Pike!* he told himself. *That girl just kicked you out on your _ass_, and you're still telling yourself you're in _love_ with her?!* He shook his head. Way too screwed up, here. This shouldn't be a priority. Yeah, last time there had been that whole mutual-saving-of-asses thing going on, but Buff had made it more than clear, she wasn't gonna dig the whole walking-back-into-her-life-and-picking-up-with-even-a-little- of-what-they'd-had thing. Pike sighed. This sucked, it seriously _sucked_, and somehow he was still gripping the vial in his hand. He should, he told himself, throw it out realize Buffy completely deserved being stuck with this whole destiny/fate complex she had fallen into. Somehow, though, he had the feeling that wasn't going to happen. He sighed again. This was always the way, then, wasn't it. First Buffy, then that goth chick in San An, and now Buffy again. How come all the nice girls he fell for always wound up being totally messed up in the end? Shallow and helpless or else twisted so far he wasn't sure he knew who they really were in the end? At least, he thought, he was now in the rear of his van, which was parked in an empty lot instead of in the middle of nowhere. He had tucked himself inside the sleeping bag he'd had since he first left home at age sixteen, telling himself to get some sleep. But sleep wasn't coming, and instead he was staring up at the van's ceiling, obsessing over the fact that if he were outside, he'd be able to look up and see the stars-- the same ones Buffy was no doubt looking up at. A soft scratching at the rear window made him glance over, and when he saw the man there, he nearly choked. Then he recognized him-- that guy from the bar who'd been so kind as to let him know Buffy wouldn't want to hear anything he had to say to her. Little freaky, Pike decided, but the guy had been nothing but obliging so far, so he sat up and climbed out of his sleeping bag, then got up and unlatched the back door, watching it swing out. "Hey," the guy said, smiling slightly. "What's with the van?" "Just passing through," Pike said, rubbing his eyes a little. Had to be past midnight. "Didn't see any point in renting a hotel room. Couldn't find any cheap hotels around here, either." "Yeah, that's Sunnydale for you," the guy said. "Bunch of middle-class yuppies who have big houses, so the few relatives who do come to visit this hellhole stay with their families instead of in a hotel." He shrugged. "And there's not a high teenage drifter quotient." Pike nodded, trying to decide just what it was this guy wanted, and why he was standing there, not moving. "Uh-huh," he said. "Hey," the guy said, offering a hand, "name's Angel. You?" Pike took the hand, shaking it. "Pike." To his credit, Angel didn't make a dig at the name. Then again, Pike supposed being named 'Angel' didn't leave a lot of room for making fun of other people in the name department. "And you knew Buffy back in the day?" he asked. "You could say that," Pike replied. He shrugged. "Obviously don't know her anymore." Angel nodded slowly, offering a half-helpless shrug. "Hey, women change." He shook his head. "Buffy just goes through more dramatic changes than most other women." Pike grinned, getting the feeling this guy knew more than he was letting on-- and liking the fact, because it meant maybe he'd be able to have a real conversation with him. A real conversation was just what Pike knew he needed right now. Not a shitfest of meaningless drivel, but a real psycho-analyzing thing. Figure out what it was that made Buffy tick, why it was she always shifted so quickly. Why he couldn't ever seem to figure her out, even back when they had been together. One night she'd be hot, the next cold... "...like she doesn't even realize you're there," Angel finished. Pike glanced up, surprised. He hadn't realized he was speaking aloud. "Thinking out loud," he said quickly. "No problem," Angel said, putting a hand on Pike's shoulder as he leaned against the doorway. He smiled slightly, something glimmering in his eye. "She really screwed you up, man, didn't she." "Not on purpose," Pike said, his gaze falling to the ground. "Yeah, well, if you say so," Angel replied. Then he looked around, a troubled expression crossing his face. "Hey, you know, this isn't the safest place to be around here." Pike shrugged. "Nah, but it's my van, and like I said, I can't find a good hotel." "Yeah..." Angel said slowly, then he turned his gaze on the ground for a moment before looking back up. "Look, Pike, I think I'm gonna have to kind of insist that you not stay out here." "Why not?" "Well," Angel said, swallowing and looking half-apologetic, "this is gonna sound completely insane, but...stuff around here isn't always what it seems. And you don't want to be in the wrong place when that stuff comes out to play." Pike raised an eyebrow. Angel knew Buffy, and he'd just all but said outright that he knew about the Hellmouth...which meant he could know about quite a few other things. It also meant Pike could most likely confide in him. He nodded. "So where am I supposed to go, then?" he asked. Angel appeared half-surprised that Pike had taken his word for matters so quickly. "You could stay at my place, if you want," he said. Pike nodded, and Angel stepped out of the way to let him lock and close the back doors of the van. "Sounds good," he said. "Where're you at?" "Got an apartment a few blocks away," Angel said with a smile. "Come on." Without waiting, he turned and began to walk away, and Pike soon had to pick up his own pace to keep up with the other. * "So," Angel said as he settled into the chair opposite the sofa he had told Pike to sit on. "How much do you know about Buffy?" Pike grinned slightly. "She's a pretty...special girl." Angel shrugged. "Doesn't carry herself like it, though," he said. "I mean, she acts like she's the only one who can do half of what she does." "Maybe she is," Pike replied, as he was struck with the nutty feeling that maybe there was more to this on Angel's part than what he saw on the surface. The entire conversation had had an air of surreality since the beginning. "Maybe there's another one just like her, out there somewhere." Pike swallowed. Okay, this was getting to be pretty blatant double-talk. They were obviously each feeling each other out to see how much the other knew-- at least, Pike knew he was, and he was getting a more and more acute feeling that Angel was doing the same. "So," he said, clearing his throat slightly. "How do you know her?" Angel shrugged. "We used to be a thing." "Uh-huh." Pike looked him over, then shook his head. "You know," he said, "you don't look like the kind of guy she'd hang out with." "You don't think?" "Nah," Pike said. He shrugged. "You're more like somebody..." He shook his head. "Can't quite put my finger on it, but more like..." He trailed off, at a loss for words, and shook his head. He wanted to say, Angel reminded him of Benny-- but that was nuts, because the last time he'd seen Benny it had been because his ex- best friend had been trying to eat the student population of Hemery High. Angel smiled slightly. "Somebody you probably should have stayed away from," he said. Pike raised an eyebrow. "'Scuse me?" he asked. "I saw you leave the club," Angel said, and he suddenly didn't seem so friendly. He stood, looking down at Pike and giving the other man the feeling of being quite small, quite insignificant. "And...I hope you don't _mind_," he continued, "but I hitched a ride." "Hitched a...?" Pike stood, shooting a glance toward the door. "You know," he said, "maybe it'd be a good idea if I left now, hm? And we could, you know, meet up later and have a talk if you really think it's necessary. Because, well, we don't need to talk about things right now and you seem to be stressing about something, though I'm not really sure--" He broke off as Angel's features suddenly shifted, becoming far more pronounced, and far more menacing. "Holy _fuck_!" he shouted, scrambling backward a few feet. "What the _hell_?!" "That'd be about right," Angel said, then he lunged toward Pike with a feral growl, knocking him to the floor. Pike felt something cool and hard hit against his skull, and then the world went black. * Angelus glared down at the motionless form beneath him, then shot a rueful glance at the table he'd accidentally thrown Pike against. He knew he should have moved that thing. The sound of a throat clearing from the shadows caught his attention, supposedly reminding him that Pike's fate was one decision Angelus didn't have to take on. He growled, turning toward the Watcher who had stepped out from the shadows. Blake was wearing, along with the tweed suit, a rather self-satisfied smile. "Nicely done," he said, his voice bearing the slightest hint of a congratulatory tone. Angelus offered him an annoyed smile. "No prob," he snapped. "Now you guys are gonna stay the fuck outta my way while I take care of the Slayer. Right?" Blake smiled. "Of course," he replied. He cast a look toward Pike's unconscious form. "I wouldn't dream of getting in the way of such a..." He looked back up at Angelus before finishing, his smile becoming an insincere one. "...Master." Angelus hid a smirk, wondering if this Watcher had any idea of just who it was he was dealing with. "So," he said. "You're willing to do...whatever it takes...to bring her down?" "Temporarily, yes," Blake replied. "Good," Angelus said. He took a step toward the Watcher, extending a hand as though to shake on a deal. But when Blake reached out to take his hand, Angelus sprang into action. Grabbing Blake's arm, twisting sharply, hearing the crack as he shoved the Watcher to the ground and ground the skull into the floor, leaving a large stain that would most likely be a pain in the ass to clean on the floor...all the motions streamlined into one, and then Angelus found that time had slowed and moved back to a regular pace as he found himself standing with a limp and ragged body in his hands, the head of which was simply a large, bloody mass of pulp, barely held to the rest. He dropped the mutilated corpse to the floor, ignoring the blood as it seeped into the rug alongside the rest of the contents of Blake's apparently near-empty skull. Angelus snorted. Idiot Watcher. Damned arrogant. Not that the arrogance hadn't served his purpose. He smiled slightly. He now knew exactly what Pike's relationship was to Buffy. He knew why the Watchers had been interested in seeing her dead. And he knew they wouldn't step in should something happen to the young Slayer. In other words, he thought smugly, he now knew every single thing he would need to know to carry out Buffy's destruction. The only loose end that was left to deal with would be this young hothead. There were several options open at this point, and all of them held a special sort of allure. The most reasonable, Angelus already knew, would be to use the boy as bait for the Slayer. But no, he told himself, that would be far too easy, both for Buffy and for Pike. The corners of his lips tugged upward as a new thought occurred. Yes, Angelus thought to himself...the next few days were definitely going to be quite a bit more interesting than those which had preceded them. ~ Comments to KylenRevik@aol.com, please! ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 17:36:47 -0400 From: Jessica Dubois Subject: BUFFYFIC: Friends No Matter What (1/1) Title: Friends No Matter What (1/1) Author: Jessica Dubois E-mail: Jessica.Dubois@sympatico.ca Distribution: Please ask first. It'll be archived eventually at my own site, The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells, Rating: PG Summery: It's a short piece, and mostly fluff. Just read it. Disclaimer: I don't own Willow or Angel or any of the gang. Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, 'Grr Arg' and 'Aw, I Need A Hug' do. No copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made. Feedback: Yes, please. Author's Note: This is my fourth story in my as yet untitled series of Angel/Willow pieces. It's set between Willow's Challenge/Angel's Hope and The Rewards of Happiness. Friends no Matter What By: Jessica Dubois Willow rapped her knuckles on the table. He was late. He'd PROMISED to be here. Buffy was off patrolling, and since things were still pretty quiet, she'd finagled a promise from Angel to meet her here, so they could talk, and get to know each other. They were really starting to form a friendship, and she wanted to meet with him under happier circumstances, but he was over a half-an-hour late. She hoped nothing had happened to him. In that moment, Angel entered Willow's field of vision. He looked fine, which went a ways to relieve Willow's worry, but he had a very grim expression on his face. Willow's forehead furrowed. "Angel?" she asked tentatively, as he arrived by her table. "Is everything ok?" He looked darkly at her. "No. Everything's not ok. I just wanted to say goodbye." "WHAT!?!?!?!" Willow yelped. Several people close by turned to look at her, which made her blush. "What?" she said again in a much quieter voice. "Why?" "It's better this way. It's too dangerous for me to have friends. They could become targets." "But, Buffy..." Willow protested. "Buffy can take care of herself. But you can't. So, it's better if I just fade into the background. Like I used to." Willow's eyes rounded with pain, and she tucked her head close to her chest. Angel leaned forward, and brushed his cool fingers against her cheek. "It's better this way." Angel said softly, then got up, and left the Bronze. Willow's head shot up. "Angel!" She got up and ran after him, but he had slipped through the crowd as if he was a ghost, while Willow kept getting caught in tangles of people. By the time she got out the door, Angel was gone. Willow headed for home, dejected. Then an idea came to mind, and a smile crossed her face. She'd be DAMNED before she let Angel give up. She'd do whatever it took to make Angel understand that she was his friend. No matter what. ***** Angel sighed as held the mug in his hands. He'd hated hurting Willow like that, but it was necessary. She didn't understand how dangerous it was to be close to him. He'd tried to have a friend once, fifty or so years ago. And he'd been killed, because of what Angel was... is. Angel frowned as a knock interrupt his introspective. Nobody knew he was here, except for Xander, Buffy and a few vamps he'd rather not deal with at the moment, and Buffy was currently patrolling. Angel opened the door, ready for anything. Or so he told himself. A furious Willow was the last person he was expecting, and as such, she easily got past him and inside his apartment. Angel sighed, closed the door, and turned to face her. He supposed that it had been wishful thinking on his part that Willow would just accept his decision. She might be quiet, but when she got her teeth into something... Especially when one of her friends were involved. And she considered him a friend, even though that was a very bad idea. "Why are you here, Willow?" he asked. "We have nothing to say to each other." "You know why, and that's just a big lie," Willow practically hissed at him, as she started to pace. Angel looked at her with confusion. This wasn't the Willow he knew, although he had gotten a glimpse of this creature before. It had been when Buffy had snuck off to the frat party, and Willow had torn into him and Giles. "I'm not going to let you just burrow yourself into a hole, and shut yourself away from the world. You deserve to have friends, and I'm NOT going to let you push me away." "You don't understand, Willow. It's dangerous to be close to me," Angel said in what he thought was a reasonable tone, but desperation and grief tinged every word. "People around me get killed, no matter how hard I try otherwise. It's not wise..." Angel trailed off, trying to suppress the emotions that were raging through him. He'd never truly dealt with his friend's death, and it was now trying to tear him apart. He tried to suppress his emotions, but wasn't having any luck. A single blood tear started to roll down his cheek. Willow was immediately with him. She pulled him over to the couch, and sat down, pulling him down beside her. He was so consumed with grief that he didn't even notice. She cradled his head against her chest, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing words, as he started to cry earnestly. His arms curled around her, holding her close. He didn't cry as a normal person did, but his body was stiff with grief, and tears ran down his face, catching in the material of her shirt. After about fifteen minutes, the tears slowed, and Angel pulled away. There was blood smeared over most of his face, and his eyes had torture in them. He looked down at her chest. "I ruined your shirt. I'm sorry." Angel stood as Willow looked down and gasped when she saw the big bloodstain that covered the front of her shirt. Angel offered her a clean shirt. She took it and held it in her arms. "I'm not going to leave you, Angel, and I'm not going to die." Willow made a small rueful sound. "Alright, correction, I'm not going to die anytime soon." She looked into Angel's eyes, while Angel looked at anything but her. "I can't... I can't do it again, Willow. I can't lose my friends again." She didn't understand. No one planed on dying, it just happened. He couldn't do it again. Lose someone who depended on him. Willow looked at Angel. "Angel." He looked at her, finally. She closed her eyes, and composed herself. "No one every wants to lose someone. But that's the way life is. You live, you learn, you love, and you lose. And if you don't do this, your life is hollow. You have to take chances, Angel." Angel shook his head. "I won't risk the people around me. I won't-" Angel stopped when Willow put a finger to his lips. "It's my choice, Angel. Not yours. If I want to risk being your friend, then just accept that. Because I am going to risk it, and nothing is going to stop me. And if you decide to be stubborn, then I'm just going to have to find another way to convince you. Follow you around. Bug you. Whatever it takes. And if I get myself killed when I'm out alone at night..." Willow shrugged. "That's my choice too." Willow looked defiantly at him. She sighed. "The way I see it, you have two choices. One is to accept that I'm your friend and that I'm not going anywhere. The other is to try to shut me out of your life. And I'm not going to accept that. Which means I'll do everything in my power, and more, to get you to see that." Angel looked torn. "Willow." His voice was filled with anguish. He then came to a decision. It was foolish. It would get her killed, but he didn't know what else to do. And he really would like a friend again. It was nice, being able to talk to someone, without worrying about exactly what he could say and what he couldn't. Angel nodded his head. "Alright, Willow. We're friends." Instantly Willow's somber attitude vanished, and she grinned from ear to ear, and bounced on her toes. She calmed slightly, but still exuded an aura of happiness. "Great!" "I should take you home." Willow nodded and headed for the door. "Willow." Willow turned and looked askance at him. "Your shirt?" Willow looked at the shirt still in her hand, then down at the shirt she was wearing. "Oops," she said sheepishly, blushing. Angel smiled lightly, and pointed her towards the bathroom. She practically ran into it, and slammed the door. Angel shook his head as he waited for her. This new friendship was going to be interesting, that was for sure. And he had a feeling that they would always be friends. No matter what. Fin - -- "Ours is a forbidden love." - Willow, Lie to Me "She's dancing... Dancing with Death!" - Drucilla, IOHE4U Keeper of Willow's Spellcasting Ability Visit my Site The Place Where Forbidden Love Dwells http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/295/index.html ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 28 Jun 1998 20:39:21 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Reflections 4/7 Title~ Reflections 4/7 Author~Shani Timeline~ let’s say between Go Fish and Becoming I & II--Becomings will not happen here Summary~ Angelus becomes Angel, but has some thinking to do before going to Buffy...if he decides to go to Buffy at all. Disclaimer~ The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended. Story for entertainment purposes only. Feedback~ YES, YES, YES, YES!! Please send all comments to TruPhile@aol.com Angel stepped into the sunlight. Sunnydale was a completely different town when lit with the light of the afternoon sun. Angel took in all the sights around him, but would not stop until he reached the Summers’ home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Buffy was about to fall asleep when she heard knocking coming from her front door. Yawning, she went downstairs. “Coming!!” she called. She slowly opened the door, not really wanting to deal with a sales person at the moment. What she saw nearly knocked her off her feet. There Angel stood, the sunlight surrounding him like a halo. “Angel?” Buffy’s voice was barely a whisper. Angel reached out to her. He gently cupped her face. She leaned into his touch, tears running down her face. Reality finally set in. “How?” she asked, her eyes filling with questions and things that she wanted to say. “I’m, I’m not sure. Can I come in? I think we need to talk.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Buffy’s not really going to die, right Giles?” Willow said. “Of course not. I mean, she’s Buffy,” Oz comforted. “I don’t know, Willow. I wish that I did.” Giles said, his voice distant. He remembered the last time it was written that she would die. She did die, but she was brought back. He wondered if she could handle dying again. He wondered if they could handle her dying again. “She killed the master. A golam shouldn’t be a problem.” Xander said. “She’s died and come back before, as long as we’re there, we can bring her back again.” “I just wish we could help.” Willow whispered to herself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Angel and Buffy held each other. They had talked for hours, filling each other in on what had happened to them physically and emotionally. Talking about what would happen when they made it known that he was back and that he was human. The discussed their immediate plans for the future... Angel pulled away slightly. “Let me see you in the sunlight,” he asked gently. Taking his hand, Buffy pulled him off the couch and out the front door. They stood there a moment. Each completely unaware of anything but them and the fact that they were here together. Embracing, Angel whispered, “I love you.” A new wave of tears streamed down Buffy’s cheeks as she kissed him. To Angel, that said much more than any words she could have spoken. ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #250 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. 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