From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #261 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Monday, July 13 1998 Volume 02 : Number 261 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Libidinou 5/? BUFFYFIC: Love and Pain BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 44) BUFFYFIC: The Crossroads (1/1) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 13:40:51 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinou 5/? Title~ Libidinous 5/? Author~ Shani Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all human actions Summary~ A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists. Involves characters from General Hospital, but yoiu don’t have to watch GH to understand this fic. I did change a thing or two around for you GH fans Disclaimer~ All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. “Iris” belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls and can be found on the City of Angels soundtrack. All characters of General hospital belong to ABC. Chapter 5, Iris “Uh, guys...” she heard Angel say. “What’s wrong?” Buffy asked him. “I was just thinking, if Arcanus wanted a body, he’d choose one that was young and strong. So, shouldn’t we go to a gym or even the mall?” Angel replied. Buffy was relieved. She had thought something had happened. “There are no gyms in Port Charles, well, none that are really public. There is a mall...” Nikolas informed them. “Good, let’s go.” Buffy was once again all business. * * * The Port Charles mall. ‘Well, here goes nothing...’ Angel thought. He, Buffy, and Nikolas entered the mall. They walked down the hallway, looking in the stores and shadows. “You know, while we’re here, you could use a new leather jacket.” Buffy told Angel. “Buff, we’re looking for a demon. Besides, I can’t feel cold anyway.” Angel replied. Nikolas found this exchange to be quite entertaining, though there was obviously something that he was missing. Buffy looked over at him, seeing the smile on his face and the slightest bit of confusion in his eyes. “Angel gave me his leather jacket last year and he still needs a new one,” she explained. “I haven’t got a thing to wear,” Angel said dramatically. Buffy smiled. “That’s a nice thought...” Her smile faded. She could sense Arcanus nearby. Back into Slayer mode, she silently scanned the area. There. A boy stood close to the shadows, a girl at his side. Buffy gestured at the two. “I think he possessed the boy.” Nikolas looked sick. The girl turned to look at them, then came over to Nikolas. “Nikolas, I, I know that you and Lucky don’t get along, but something’s wrong with him.” she said. Nikolas nodded. He looked at Buffy, who gave him the go-ahead-and tell-her nod. “Liz, Lucky has been possessed by a demon called Arcanus. It’s a lot to take in but...” “I know you don’t like him because of your stupid Cassadine/Spencer fued but this is serious.” Liz shot back. Buffy stepped in front of Nikolas, it was her turn to try to explain. * * * Buffy brought Liz back to Wyndemere, while Nikolas and Angel tailed Lucky Spencer. She had done the best she could at providing an explaination, and Elizabeth Webber seemed to accept it. They walked into the study, where Stefan was researching. “Stefan, we found out who the demon possessed.” Buffy said. “Who?” “Lucky Spencer.” ‘Lucky Spencer? This would only cause more trouble between the Cassadines and the Spencers.’ Stefan thought. He then noticed Liz standing behind Buffy. “She knows.” Buffy said as soon as he saw Liz. * * * Angel and Nikolas followed Lucky as casually as they could. They hed been following him for about an hour when Arcanus disppeared. “Where did he go? He was right there?!” Nikolas exclaimed. <> Nikolas was knocked to the ground. Angel turned to look behind him. Arcanus lunged at him, pushing him into the wall of a nearby building. Angel punched back. They went at it for almost twenty minutes. Angel noticed that the sun was starting to rise. In that moment, Arcanus had the opening he was looking for. He knocked Angel down. Lucky felt like he had just woken up. Nikolas and some strange man lay knocked out in front of him. He was about to find a phone to call for help, but the strange man began to awaken. “Are you alright?” Lucky asked. “Just fine,” he said, knocking Lucky to the ground. Arcanus picked up Nikolas and ran, he would have to get to safety soon and didn’t want the Slayer to grow suspicious. * * * Buffy was getting worried. The sun had begun to rise and there was no sign of Angel. Just then, Angel walked in, Nikolas slung over his shoulder. “What happened?!?” Buffy exclaimed, as Angel put Nikolas down. “We got into a fight, don’t worry, everything’s ok.” Arcanus falsely assured. The room was dark, he guessed that the Slayer had done that for Angel. He could access Angel’s memories and thoughts. They all believed that he was still half vampire. ‘Good.’ That may be an advantage. The other boy, this Nikolas was beginning to awake. He’d leave someone else to deal with him. “Where’s Lucky? What happened to him?” Liz asked nervously. Lucky wasn’t her boyfriend, but she never really understood how much he meant to her until now. Arcanus shrugged. “Fine, I’ll find him myself.” With that, she left. Buffy was about to stop Liz, but Arcanus stopped Buffy first. “Let her go. We’re better off without her.” “Angel, what happened out there?” Buffy asked. She could sense the evil in the room. Arcanus pushed her over. Pinning her down, he whispered angrily, “Stay out of it.” then hit her. That should buy him enough time to escape. * * * Buffy awoke shortly. Stefan and Nikolas stood over her. Numerous thoughts ran through her head. ‘Could Angelus be back? Did Arcanus jump to Angel’s body? It’s light outside, what if Arcanus killed him?’ A single tear ran down her cheek. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 21:46:08 -0400 From: uzenet@videotron.ca Subject: BUFFYFIC: Love and Pain Title: Love and Pain Author: Northlight email: uzenet@videotron.ca Spoilers: Becoming and related issues Content: silliness with mention of angst inducing issues. Summary: Angel meets up with someone who has about as much angst as he does :) Note: Both of them are too talkative, but what the heck -- it's my story and they can gab as much as they want to :) Disclaimer: Angel and related characters belong to Joss Whedon. Remy his story belong to Marvel and appears in (Uncanny) X-Men. Love and Pain Remy stepped out of the men's washroom, having just completed the difficult task of getting his zipper-less, one piece, Shi'ar, spandex suit back up. He casually wandered back into the waiting room and came to an abrupt stop. There was someone in his seat. That was something of a surprise. He'd been alone in the waiting room for the past few months and the sudden appearance of another person threw him slightly. Remy glanced around the room, looking at all the other chairs and sourly wondered why this stranger couldn't have taken any of *them*. He briefly debated giving up on his chair before changing his mind. He'd been through a lot recently, and a man deserved to be able to take a bathroom break without loosing his seat. "Excuse me," Remy said, getting the brooding man's attention. "I believe that's my seat." He stood before the man expectantly. "You weren't here," Angel replied, letting his head drop back down. Couldn't that strangely dressed man see that he was *busy*? Brooding took concentration. "Look here, homme," Remy answered calmly. "I've been freezing my ass off in Antarctica -- I think I deserve to be allowed whatever chair I want!" Angel looked up slowly. The man did look rather frostbitten, he allowed grudgingly. But he still wasn't about to give up his chair. He was comfortable. "Well I've been in Hell the last little while." He resisted the urge to say 'so there!' with just a bit of difficulty. Remy remained still a moment before grudgingly admitting the other man had it worse. He sighed and chose another chair to plop down in. The silence dragged out for a long moment before Remy turned back to the stranger. "My name's Remy. What's yours?" He recognized the signs of an interrupted brooding session but didn't withdraw his question. He'd been alone since issue #350, and he was getting rather bored with nothing to keep him occupied other than guilt and angst. "Well?" Remy urged when the new arrival remained sullenly silent. "Angel." "I know an Angel," Remy said conversationally. "'Cept he has wings... and wants me dead." He sighed and slunk further into his non discript waiting room chair. Angel didn't reply. Remy regarded him, drumming his long fingers against the padded arm of his new chair. "So what brought you here?" he asked. "I don't quite know where here is," Angel finally admitted. If he wasn't going to get in any self recrimination and angst time, he may as well talk to Remy. Remy grinned, his red on black eyes glinting eerily. "This is where you go to wait while your fate is figured out. I'm not dead, but they have to figure out how to fix my problem." "Your problem?" Angel asked, only slightly interested. He had enough problems of his own. "That whole left to die in Antarctica thing," Remy replied. "I'm too popular to be left for dead, but my relationships are so mucked up that I can't just go waltzing back home. So I'm stuck here until they figure out how to work me back into the storyline." "Oh. So I suppose I'm here because I got sent to Hell." "How did that happen?" Remy asked. He took out a deck of cards and began to shuffle them absently. "My girlfriend stabbed me with a special sword," Angel answered shortly. "Problems with the femmes?" Remy grinned. Angel glared at him. "I can sympathize. My girlfriend was the one who left me to freeze. Rogue isn't someone you want to piss off." "You're girlfriend's name is Rogue?" Angel asked, marvelling at the strange name. "Not her real one. So what's yours?" "Buffy." Remy snorted. "You're one to be talking." The cards flashed between his fingers. "So what did you do to piss her off enough to have her send you to Hell?" Angel gave an airless sigh. Maybe this was his punishment -- eternity with Remy. "I lost my soul, killed her teacher, tried to kill her friends, attempted to drive her insane, and threatened to suck the world into Hell." Remy whistled. "And I though I had it bad." "Why?" Angel asked. If he had to tell his story, so did the other man. "Don't want to talk about it," Remy said. Since when did Angel get to ask the questions? He ignored Angel and flipped a card across the room. "I told you my story!" Angel growled. "Now you talk!" Remy briefly debated, and then decided to go for it. He'd never have to see this Angel character again, after all. "Let's see... I worked for my friend's big, bad enemy. And gathered a group of killers who wiped out a settlement of innocent men, women and children. My memories nearly drove my girlfriend insane." He shrugged slightly -- the whole thing was a terrible retcon anyhow. "Oh." Angel was obscurely pleased that his story had beat Remy's. He was still the undefeated angst master. "So how long have you been here? Does it take long to fix things up?" Remy looked thoughtful. "It's been a while. I've been here since #350, other than that Unlimited issue, and the limited series where I seduced that nun... Let's just say it's been a while. But my world is a mess -- it may take forever for my story to be fixed up." "I've only been gone since 'Becoming'" Angel mused. "It'll probably be resolved once the new season starts. Although the 'soulless' thing dragged on forever..." Remy abandoned his cards and went in search of a cigarette. He found one tucked into his boot and drew it out. A spark jumped from the tip of his finger to that of the cigarette, igniting it. "How'd you loose your soul?" Angel rolled his eyes. "I made love to my girlfriend after nearly being killed by a monster... and then -- *bam!* -- my soul's gone!" "My life fell apart after a kiss," Remy sighed. He shook his head sadly, 'my life sucks'. He felt the familiar stirring of angst starting to claw it's was through him and quickly moved to cut it off. "Cards?" he offered a hopeful smile at Angel. Angel shrugged. "Why not? It seems like I'll be here for a while." "There's the spirit!" Remy smiled as he moved to pick up his scattered cards. "And after that, I'll tell you about my brooding sessions on the roof..." ~End~ http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/7493/buffy.html ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 20:59:48 -0700 From: _-Sun-_ Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (part 44) What can I say? I have writers block.... Title: Charlotte Sometimes (part 44) Author: _-SuN-_ Email Addie: Kbleyle@Earthlink.Net Rating: R (Well, I AM making someone insane here....) Warning: There are lots of violent parts! And a coupe sexual scenes. Nothing a 15 year old living in 1998 couldn't read I think - but I'm just warning you. Also: You think this is getting wild? Try experiencing it first hand! (sympathy towards Drusilla may be sent after you read this) *g* Feedback: Yes! Send it now! Disclaimer: Drusilla and Angelus belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, 20th Century, the WB, etc. The Story and the other characters cast are mine! :P~ (but they all die anyways soo...) Summary: How *did* Drusilla become a vampire? Charlotte Sometimes (Part 44) She lurked around the outside of the abandoned manor, feeling the gaze of Ian's eyes as he intently watched her move from the porch. The memories of her life had suddenly become painful. What had happened with her? One moment the world had been full of laughter, of joy, and of God. Now suddenly turned into death, pain, and hell.. She feared the demon that controlled her fate now. Drusilla flashed a smile towards Ian drifting farther and farther from his view. Glancing once again at the weed covered path into the woods, she thought of running, and wondered how far she could get from Ian with a sprung ankle and the disadvantage of her sex. Perhaps some knowledge of where she was would be good. Where would she be running to? Where was home? Drusilla turned her head around to see the large tree's looming above her.. Her prison was clearing in the deep tall woods. An abandoned manor - - now housing criminals of the worst kind As if from the view point of a small child - those woods seemed to carry on and on forever. As if she were a princess, held captive by ugly demons and disgusting men. The fairy tale seemed to be happing all to fast, and it scared her in more than one way. But she giggled. Because fairy tales *always* have happy endings... She fell, laying down on the tall grass moving her hands to stretch and stare at the cloudless sky; to wait for her prince... * Ian continued to play with the ebony knife held in his hands. Drusilla was a stunning thing. Obviously beautiful, perhaps a little eccentric but none the less charming. Which was exactly why he didn't let her out of his site. Angelus must have had some hardcore faith to leave this doll like lady with him. Then again Ian assumed, Faith had nothing to do with it! He had a perfect image of Angelus ripping his throat out should Drusilla be hurt in any way shape of form. Why on earth he would leave such an apparent jewel here with criminals and whores was still beyond him.... Ian watched as the girl fell in the overgrown lawn, and jerked with adrenaline, as a parent often does, knowing how fragile a doll can be. But her giggles calmed him - as a child's smile often does, and he relaxed. Kicking up his feet Ian prepared to contently watch the playful women and await Angelus's return. * Angelus's grin only widened as he jumped down the small flight of stairs. "Lydia?" he called out through the cottage, bouncing through another closed door. "Come out, Come out where ever you are..." _-SuN-_ Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/ Guardian of Spike's Need to be Violent to Others And of Spike's *Need* to Torture people with Railroad Spikes. _ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _ _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _ _ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _ _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 23:29:02 EDT From: Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Crossroads (1/1) Title: The Crossroads (1/1) Author: Nastassia Email Addy: Teknopgan@aol.com Rating: PG Spoiler: This is taking place right before, during, and after Becoming 2. Feedback: Please please please! Distribution: Maybe if you ask nicely. Disclaimer: Buffy, Angel and all the Slayerettes belong to Joss. The song "Hold On" belongs to Sarah McLachlan. I'll give them back once I'm done playing. Summary: What's going on in Buffy's head during Becoming. This is the second story in a Post-Becoming series I'm writing. The first being "The Key." The stories can stand on their own, but will be tied together eventually. If anyone needs a copy of "The Key" just email me. And my eternal thanks to Rachel for beta-reading! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Crossroads (1/1) by Nastassia ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hold on Hold on to yourself For this is gonna hurt like hell The final battle between good and evil. It seems like that's all my life has ever been. One fight after another. The mansion looms up ahead. This is one fight I have to win. Too many people have been hurt because of me. Too many people have died because of me. It stops now. Xander appears from out of nowhere. I'm flooded with feelings of anger and relief at the sight of him. "Cavalry's here," Xander jokes. "Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here." I fight the urge to snap at him about his inapproiate response. Nothing will change for him after this fight. He'll still be the same person, but I'll never be the same again. I hand him a stake and bark out an order. "You're not here to fight. You get Giles out, and you run like hell, understood? I can't protect you. I'm gonna be too busy killing." I unsheath the sword. The blade glints in the early morning sunlight. It looks almost magical. Xander says something about a message from Willow, but I barely hear him. My mind is focused on the task that lies ahead. Hold on Hold on to yourself You know that only time will tell It's easy to find Angelus. No one notices me until the first vampire turns to dust after I sever his head with my sword. "Hello lover." Angelus hardly glances at me. "I don't have time for you." "You don't have a lot of time *left*." That seems to almost amuse him. "Coming on kind of strong, don't you think?" he says, "You're playing some deep odds here. Do you really think you can take us all on?" "No. I don't." I'm almost happy that I'll get to wipe that smug look off his face. I want to make him hurt like he hurt me. I want to make him pay for taking Angel away from me. What is it in me that refuses to believe This isn't easier than the real thing The look of shock and pain on Angelus' face at the first blow of the crowbar is priceless. I don't have time to think about how much Spike is enjoying it before the other vamp attacks me. A few punches, a few more kicks, and a nice pointy piece of wood make quick work of him, but I'm too late. Angelus took advantage of my distraction and used that moment to free the sword from Acathla. "You almost made it, Buff," he snarls, so certain that he won. "It's not over yet." "My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to Hell." "Save me a seat." We fight. Everything is a blur of parries and thrusts, blocks and dodges. I feel the sword slice across my arm but I barely flinch. One of us is going to die, and it's not going to be me. I fight until he disarms me and knocks me to the ground. For the first time in my life I'm really afraid. "Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends... No hope." The man who isn't Angel smiles cruelly. "Take all that away... and what's left?" I won't die at his hands. Not now, not ever. "Me." My love You know that you're my best friend You know I'd do anything for you The hilt of the sword strikes his face, and I jump to my feet. I attack him with every ounce of strength I have. I'm doing this for Angel. Maybe once he knows that this *thing* that wears his face can never hurt anyone again he can rest in peace. Another punch and he's disarmed and at my mercy. I raise the sword for the killing blow, and something unexpected happens. Angelus collapses. His eyes glow gold for a second, and then he's on his knees, sobbing and gasping. "Buffy? What's going on?" It can't be him. The curse didn't work. I'm afraid to let myself hope that it's really him, and not another of Angelus' tricks. I want to believe it so much. "Where are we? I-I don't remember." I lower the sword. "Angel?" He notices the cut on my arm. "You're hurt," he says. Even now, he thinks of me first. My love Let nothing come between us My love for you is strong and true He hugs me. Oh God, how long have I waited for this? How many nights have I spent dreaming of this? "Oh, Buffy... God. I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months." Months? It feels like it's been years. "Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I... Oh... Oh, Buffy..." I start crying into his shoulder. I'm so happy. Until I open my eyes. Am I in heaven here or am I... At the crossroads I am standing In my joy I forgot about the reason I came here in the first place -- Acathla. Behind Angel the vortex to Hell is opening. The gate, I have to close it. I have to- Angel feels me tense up, and pulls away. "What's happening?" he asks confused. "Shh. Don't worry about it," I whisper reassuringly. All I want to do is cry. I kiss him. For the first time in months I kiss him. "I love you," I whisper, my voice shaking. I don't know if I can do this. Angel, I can't..... "I love you." "Close your eyes." God, I hate lying to him, but I can't bear to look into his eyes. I kiss him again, for the last time, and plunge the sword into my lover's body. Angel's eyes fly open. "Buffy..." he begs. He doesn't understand why I did this. He doesn't understand...... So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray That you'll be strong tomorrow And we'll see another day And we will praise it And love the light that brings a smile Across your face I cry. I cry for what is and for what might have been. It would have been better if he'd never gotten his soul back. I could handle killing Angelus, but not Angel, never Angel. I walk back to my house in a trace. I pack a bag and write a note. I tell my mom that I'm leaving and to talk to Giles. He can explain everything. Something draws me to the school, and I watch my friends. Giles, Willow, and Xander all bear injuries they never would have gotten if not for me. No one else is going to be hurt because of me. I walk away from them before I can change my mind. I buy a bus ticket as far away from Sunnydale as I can get. Oh god if you're out there Won't you hear me I know that we've never talked before What did I do to deserve this? Am I such a bad person that I'm going to be punished for the rest of my life? I absently wipe a tear out of my eye as I stare out the window of the bus. How many people's lives have been ruined because of me? Giles lost the woman he loved because of me. Kendra died because of me. And how many times had Willow and Xander almost gotten killed trying to save me? They'll miss me. I know that, but they'll get over it. Now that I'm gone my friends may be able to have something resembling a normal life. Maybe in a few years they'll look back and remember the good times we had together, when we weren't fighting vampires or demons or my ex-boyfriend. Maybe they'll look back on these last two years as a weird time in their life. Or maybe they'll forget. If they do, it's for the best. I wish I could forget. God, what would I give to be able to forget? Oh god the man I love is leaving Won't you take him When he comes to your door If Angel were alive he would probably hate me. He didn't know I had to kill him to save the world from destruction. All he knew was the woman he loved and trusted had jammed a sword into his stomach when he least expected it. I wonder if any of the people out there know how close they came to the end. I chose to save a world full of strangers and was forced to destroy the one person who mattered the most to me in the process. Am I in heaven here or am I in hell At the crossroads I am standing The bus speeds down the highway, taking me away from my old life, and I don't even care anymore. As far as I'm concerned, Buffy Summers died in that mansion. Now she's in her own personal hell. I should have done this a long time ago. Maybe if I had I could have saved the people I care about a lot of heartache and pain. It's better if I just try to forget. Right now, memories hurt too much. So now you're sleeping peaceful I lie awake and pray That you'll be strong tomorrow And we'll see another day And we will praise it And love the light that brings a smile Across your face... I've lost whatever faith I may have had. All I can do is pray that Angel is forgiven. I want my friends to forgive me for what I've done, but I'll understand if they don't. How can I expect them to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself? Hold on Hold on to yourself For this is gonna hurt like hell *End* Questions, comments, flaming stakes, or blessed swords can be sent to me at Teknopgan@aol.com ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #261 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)