From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #357 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Wednesday, October 21 1998 Volume 02 : Number 357 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: List rules BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: Netiquette BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: How to (un)subscribe BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (08/?) sequel to "The Necromancer" BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (09/?) sequel to "The Necromancer" BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (10/?) sequel to "The Necromancer BUFFYFIC: SpikeFic: It Won't Do (1/1) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 13:42:09 -0400 From: sah Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: List rules Welcome! This list is for fiction related to "Buffy The Vampire Slayer," both the TV series and the movie. To ensure that we all get to enjoy as much fiction as possible, please adhere to the following guidelines, and please save them for future reference. 1. Fiction should have Buffy characters in it and clearly be related to Buffy. Crossovers are great, and expected, but general vampire/monster stories that aren't in the Buffy universe and don't use Buffy characters belong somewhere else. 2. Discussion of posted fiction is permitted onlist. Please put "DISCUSS" in your subject line. Requests for missing story parts should go directly to the author, and not be posted to the list. Discussion that is not related directly to the fiction should go over to the general Buffy list. Discussion of fiction is expected to follow common netiquette guidelines and use PG-13 language. 3. No advertising of items or services, Buffy related or not, and no posting of non-story items such as .gifs, sound files, etc.. No attached files of kind-- if your mailer makes your fiction into attached files, you need to find another way to get it to the list. 4. If you're writing a story and including advance information on a new episode, and you're posting your story earlier than the national viewing time, please: **Mark the post as a "spoiler" in the subject header. **Leave about twelve lines (blank or with non-spoiler info) at the top of the post. This ensures that anyone who doesn't like knowing about an episode ahead of time is "protected." :) The blank space is for people whose mailers automatically open up the next piece of mail, without giving them a chance to see "spoiler" in the header. Spoiler warnings are not necessary after the start of the episode's national viewing time, which is currently set at 9 p.m. Mondays, Eastern Standard Time. Spoiler warnings are not necessary for reruns. 5. This list is absolutely NOT for erotic fiction. stronger than sexually PG-13 material is to be posted to the list under any circumstances. A story may be R rated for violence or language, however. If you have a question about something's suitability for posting, feel free to ask one of the listowners. Sending sexually explicit material will get you immediately and permanently unsubscribed. No exceptions. 6. By subscribing and/or posting to this list, you acknowledge that Buffy the Vampire slayer and all characters associated with either the televised series or the motion picture were created by Josh Whedon and are owned by Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. All stories posted to this list are for entertainment purposes only, are not sold for profit of any kind, and are not intended to infringe on any copyrights. 7. When posting stories to the list, please follow the following formatting guidelines - --No story parts longer than 250 lines - --No more than three (3) story parts posted per day - --No lines longer than 75 characters - --Turn off your "smart quotes"-- many readers receive these as garbage or weird symbols - --Put the title of the story in the subject header, indicate if it's a multipart story, and if so what part this is. Example: Buffy Meets Godzilla (2/65) indicates that this post is part two of a 65 part story. 8. If a story is rated "R" for language/violence, indicate this in an introduction. For example, "There's a really bloody fight scene at the end of this part" or "if you don't like dismemberment, stop reading now!" If there's chance that someone might be disturbed by something in your story (even if it's not rated R) please include some kind of warning up front. 9. And last, but not least, the listowners reserve the right to deny subscription (new, renewed, or continued) to the list for any individual(s). PLEASE NOTE: not following any or all of these rules will get you the following: **First offense: offender is unsubscribed for one week. **Second offense: offender is unsubscribed to the Buffyfic list for a minimum of three months. **If the offender returns and does it again, they're offlist permanently. As noted above, posting sexually explicit material is the exception -- you go straight to permanent unsubbing. Again, welcome! If you have any questions about these rules, please contact either one of us offlist. If you have subscription problems or questions, the fastest way to get help is to e-mail one of us at the addresses below, at the kirby@xmission.com addy which is the "official" e-mail owner of the list. Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) & sah (romana@mindspring.com) Listowners, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fiction List buffyfic@xmission.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 13:42:35 -0400 From: sah Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: Netiquette Please save this for future reference, or if you have questions. These are just a few netiquette conventions we'd like people to use, though they aren't list rules per se. 1. Mailing lists ARE NOT chat rooms. When you post, a copy of your note goes out to the 900+ people subscribed to these lists. Please make sure your post *contributes* to the conversation and is something that would be of interest to the majority of people who are likely to get a copy in their mailbox. 2. This is a public mailing list. That means that anyone on the internet can potentially read what you've written. So, don't say anything here that you wouldn't say to a crowded room full of people while being videotaped for all posterity to see. 3. If you have problems with list content, or with something someone said onlist please DO NOT take it up onlist (aside from general differences of opinion during a BTVS discussion). Nine times out of ten Jill or I have taken care of it--we try to run the list behind the scenes as much as possible and watch it very carefully. We don't miss much, and are usually quick to take some form of action. However, if you think we may have missed something, write to us PRIVATELY. Or take it up with the individual PRIVATELY. Jill, Lisa Rose and I are responsible for the list and are here to make sure things run smoothly. While we can't and won't do anything about things you receive in private email, we can and will do something about people onlist if we feel it is necessary. 4. Please try to read ALL the mail in your mailbox before responding onlist to a question. We get about 20 answers to a question sometimes, and if people would just read their mailbox contents before responding we could avoid all the repetition. 5. If you have questions, please read the FAQ. It's at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/1763/buffyfaq.html. A lot of your answers can be found there. - --sah ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 13:42:08 -0400 From: sah Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN: How to (un)subscribe Please SAVE this message-- it contains information on how to uns*bscribe from the list or to change s*bscription options. IF YOU'RE S*BSCRIBED TO THE REGULAR BUFFY LIST AND WISH TO CHANGE TO DIGEST: You need to uns*bscribe from the Buffy list, and res*bscribe to the digest. Send a message to majordomo@lists.xmission.com In the body of the message, put uns*bscribe buffy Then, send a second message to majordomo@lists.xmission.com In the body of the message, put s*bscribe buffy-digest You'll go through the same approval process that you got when you subbed to the regular Buffy list. If you're s*bscribed to the digest version, and want to change to regular mail, do the opposite-- unsub from buffy-digest, and resub to buffy. THE BUFFY FICTION LIST To s*bscribe to the Buffy Fiction list, follow the same procedures as listed above-- just substitute buffyfic or buffyfic-digest for buffy or buffy-digest. TO UNS*BSCRIBE FROM ANY BUFFY LIST send a message to majordomo@lists.xmission.com In the body of the message put uns*bscribe buffy (or buffy-digest, or buffyfic, or buffyfic-digest) ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 21:39:28 -0700 From: "J. Jericho Born" Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (08/?) sequel to "The Necromancer" TITLE: "Flies to Honey" (Part 08/?) AUTHOR: J. Jericho Born E-MAIL: traction@sirius.com FEEDBACK: Please let me know what you think of my fanfic with some feedback. DISTRIBUTION: The author reserves rights on this story. Please do not distribute without expressed permission. RATING: PG-13 Contains violence. SPOILERS: Spoilers to previous fanfic. DESCRIPTION: The sequel to "The Necromancer". Abel is now unconcious, but attracting vampires like flies to honey. Buffy is caught between protecting her enemy and helping her friend Willow find her beloved Oz. Meanwhile, Willow gets deeper into magic and the occult in order to find a way to restore Oz to human form. DISCLAIMER: The writer of this unauthorized fan fiction is not affiliated with any of the parties involved in the making of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The characters are the property of Joss Whedon and whomever else the lawyers may deem fit, they are used without permission. Technically that is not legal, but I'm not anticipating any law suits. This work, the plot line, and the characters introduced that are not already featured on Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the work of Joshua Jericho Born, Copyright 1998. ============== Scene 7 "Are you sure Oz won't mind us borrowing his van?" quieried Cordelia from behind her omnipresent sunglasses. She and Xander were snug in the back of the aforementioned V.W. wagon, relishing the German proclivity toward comfort and Oz's sense of exotic decor. "Considering the fact that we're going to use it to rescue him from a life of chasing cats and sniffing rears, I don't think he'll mind one bit," quipped Xander. He surveyed the front of Buffy's house idly. "Where did the Buffster go off to?" Xander asked curiously. "Willow needed some help carrying some magic paraphenalia. They should be back shortly," answered Giles, authoratively seated behind the vehicle's stearing wheel. "What do you think about Willow getting into the whole witch thing? I mean, sure if you don't have that great of a social life you need something to pass the time, but witchcraft? Whatever happend to collecting stamps or knitting?" inquired Cordelia. "Nothing better than a hobby straight from the Patridge Family to keep you awake into the wee hours of the night," humorously commented Xander. "Ok, so she could collect Backstreet Boys posters or something. But, you get my point," appended Cordelia. "I don't know if it's very healthy," replied Giles. He gazed out the windshield thoughtfully and continued, "The black arts can be a slippery slope into untold darkness. Perhaps encountering this necromancer has shown her what evil lies at the arcane art's most extreme." "Mr. Giles," called out Buffy's mother. The front driver's side window rolled down swiftly at her greeting. "Oh, hello, Joyce," responded Giles plesantly. "Now, Buffy already gave you her part of the motel money. Is there anything I can give you towards food?" questioned mom. "Don't worry about it, hopefully we won't be more than a day. We're all eager to retrieve Oz and revel in his company once more," Giles explained. Buffy's mother was hardly comforted; she didn't seem very pleased with this road trip at all. "Who would of thought Willow would be dating a werewolf. She seems like such a nice girl," mom commented. "I can assure you that Oz is quite a decent young man," said Giles. "Of course," affirmed mom, she broke her pessimistic glare with a polite smile. "Oh, here come Buffy and Willow now," mom said with a gesturing glance. One could hardly make out the image of the duo of friends as they strolled up the quiet Sunnydale street for they were practically buried in various bags, boxes, and backpacks. Mom openend the van door for her daughter and friend, their cargo threatening to eclipse its capacity. "Whoa, what is all this stuff?" cried out Xander as he moved to make room. "I wanted to be as prepared as I could," Willow said, tossing her heavy burden onto the van floor. "And them some," Buffy added while doing the same to her load. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 21:40:31 -0700 From: "J. Jericho Born" Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (09/?) sequel to "The Necromancer" TITLE: "Flies to Honey" (Part 09/?) AUTHOR: J. Jericho Born E-MAIL: traction@sirius.com FEEDBACK: Please let me know what you think of my fanfic with some feedback. DISTRIBUTION: The author reserves rights on this story. Please do not distribute without expressed permission. RATING: PG-13 Contains violence. SPOILERS: Spoilers to previous fanfic. DESCRIPTION: The sequel to "The Necromancer". Abel is now unconcious, but attracting vampires like flies to honey. Buffy is caught between protecting her enemy and helping her friend Willow find her beloved Oz. Meanwhile, Willow gets deeper into magic and the occult in order to find a way to restore Oz to human form. DISCLAIMER: The writer of this unauthorized fan fiction is not affiliated with any of the parties involved in the making of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The characters are the property of Joss Whedon and whomever else the lawyers may deem fit, they are used without permission. Technically that is not legal, but I'm not anticipating any law suits. This work, the plot line, and the characters introduced that are not already featured on Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the work of Joshua Jericho Born, Copyright 1998. ============== Scene 8 About an hour into the drive most casual conversation had been exhausted. What was left entailed mostly intense window staring punctuated by brief moments of thumb twiddling. The sleepy late afternoon sang Giles a lullabye while sluggishness crept in and affected Giles' driving. "I don't want to sound too mature, but do we have much of a plan?" Xander asked of no one in particular. The question awoke most of the occupants of the van, including Giles, which was fortunate because he finally noticed the sedan that had been trying to pass him for the past half mile. "What do you mean?" questioned Buffy. "Finding him is the easy part, but what happens once we do find him? 'Here's a milkbone, now be a good boy and don't be a werewolf anymore'?" Xander wondered. "Oh, don't worry, we can use that ritual that I discovered in Abel's dungeon. Well, it's not really a ritual, it's more of a potion splattering," answered Willow. "You went through the necromancer's lair?" inquired Giles with a touch of concern. "Only to find out how to change Oz back," assured Willow. "I thought you said you need hellfire for that ritual to work," Xander said, slightly abashed. "Yes, we do," replied Willow. "Don't tell me you've attempted to summon hellfire," asked Giles, concern mounting. "No. . . well. . . I tried researching it, but there wasn't much written about it; other than it's really nasty stuff," Willow conceded. "Very nasty indeed. You must be very careful with your endeavors into the black arts. Hellfire, the whole of necromancy for that matter, is a very dangerous vocation. Legend has it that few survive learning to summon hellfire, let alone wielding it," chastised Giles. "Speaking of which, why is it that Abel had his hellflame backfire?" wondered Buffy generally. Giles zealously jumped to answering the question, "To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. I have speculated in my head about it-" His speculations were cut short. "It's because he made himself able to feel," interrupted Willow. She explained further, "When a necromancer artificially induces a sense of feeling he becomes subceptable to his own hellfire." "Where did you read that?" inquired Giles obstinately. "In that book 'The Lost Art of Necromantics'," answered Willow. "Oh," said Giles, proverbial tail between his legs. "So where are we going to get hellfire other than eating something with a lot of garlic?" questioned Cordelia. "Even if Abel were capable of having an actual thought right now I don't think he'd be too keen on giving us a helping hand," observed Xander. "Well if he were awake, let's just pause for a moment to mention how we so do not want that, then maybe we could set something up," Buffy offered. "Yeah, all it takes is for Oz to be doused in a few reagents and hit with a small blast of hellfire and he'll be cured. I'm the last one who would want Abel up and running, but what if there's no other way," Willow speculated. "Let's just worry about one thing at a time, shall we? We still need to find Oz," reminded Giles. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 20 Oct 1998 21:42:09 -0700 From: "J. Jericho Born" Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Flies to Honey" (10/?) sequel to "The Necromancer TITLE: "Flies to Honey" (Part 10/?) AUTHOR: J. Jericho Born E-MAIL: traction@sirius.com FEEDBACK: Please let me know what you think of my fanfic with some feedback. DISTRIBUTION: The author reserves rights on this story. Please do not distribute without expressed permission. RATING: PG-13 Contains violence. SPOILERS: Spoilers to previous fanfic. DESCRIPTION: The sequel to "The Necromancer". Abel is now unconcious, but attracting vampires like flies to honey. Buffy is caught between protecting her enemy and helping her friend Willow find her beloved Oz. Meanwhile, Willow gets deeper into magic and the occult in order to find a way to restore Oz to human form. DISCLAIMER: The writer of this unauthorized fan fiction is not affiliated with any of the parties involved in the making of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The characters are the property of Joss Whedon and whomever else the lawyers may deem fit, they are used without permission. Technically that is not legal, but I'm not anticipating any law suits. This work, the plot line, and the characters introduced that are not already featured on Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the work of Joshua Jericho Born, Copyright 1998. ============== Scene 9 "We're here," announced Giles after carefully parking in a rather crampt motel lot with the dwindling dusk light and a few tacky neon signs as his only sources of illumination. "Finally," yawned Cordelia. "How about if I drive on the way back and cut down on the travel time," she suggested. "A good idea in all respects except one: I'm sure Oz would appreciate us keeping his prized van in one piece," declined Giles, exiting the vehicle as he spoke. He called out from over his shoulder, "Don't forget the luggage." To Willow's dismay both Buffy and Cordelia began to leave the van, carrying only their own relatively trivial cargo. She looked over the mass of items she had brought with concern. "Guys," pleaded Willow, "What about all of my stuff?" "I think it's only fair if Cordy helped you out this time," reasoned Buffy. "Please," rebuked Cordelia, "Just because Willow is trying to be miss voodoo princess doesn't mean I have to do hard labor." Cordelia marched off after Giles after her selfless declaration. "Will, why don't you get Xander to help you out?" Buffy suggested. She, too, went in the direction Giles had gone. Slightly peeved, Willow leaned over to a snoozing Xander. She prepared her most tender, helpless voice to beseech him with. After a moment's hesitation she opted for another approach. "Xander," Willow said with a couple well aimed pokes to the rib cage. Xander shook himself from his sleep and fought to regain his bearings. "Xander," reiterated Willow. She paused until she thought Xander was listening to some degree and continued, "Giles said you should bring the luggage." Without a moments delay, she scurried off to join the others. Willow found the trio of Giles, Cordelia, and Buffy huddled outside their potential lodgings. It was a rather disconcerting sight; dingy when applied to the motel would be a complement. Broken windows, rotting doorframes, and grimy exteriors were the best features of this establishment. "Ok, Giles, now I know you don't want to waste money, but this is one too many steps on the bad side of cheap," said a disgusted Cordelia. "I was told these were the best accomodations in Weberton," said Giles in reply. "I hate to see what the bad places look like," commented Buffy. "Yeah, I mean, this thing is a star short of being a one star hotel," criticised Cordelia. "Weberton isn't the most affluent community in California," informed Willow. "Well, let's go," sighed Giles. The group of slayerettes entered the check-in office warily. Behind the front desk sat a man who looked like he frequented fast food establishments, clad only in a cut-off undershirt and beaten-up khakis. A seemingly ancient television set was his only company. "Well look here, you must be the English guy who called," observed the front desk clerk. He introduced, "My name is Eddie." "Very nice to meet you, Mr. . . uh. . . Eddie," greeted Giles. "And how are y'all doing this afternoon?" inquried Eddie with a working man's charm. "Fine, thank you," answered Giles. "How about the classy ladies you got here, how are y'all doing?" Eddie asked while addressing Buffy. "Fine," simply replied Buffy. "Just fine?" Eddie questioned further. Buffy answered impudently, "Just fine." "Now if I remember right you needed two rooms for the evening," said Eddie, speaking to Giles once again. "That's correct," Giles affirmed. "That'll be thirty-two dollars then," said Eddie. Giles pulled out his wallet and stumbled through it to retrieve the desired amount. "For another twenty I'll make sure the cops don't come by tonight and do the whole vice routine," offered Eddie. Giles looked quite offended and replied angrily, "The only thing we'll be doing in the middle of the night shall be sleeping." "Of course, of course. This is a class establishment," agreed Eddie. "Speaking of being a class establishment, all these gals are eighteen, right?" he appended. "That's of no concern of yours," chastied Giles, he placed a handful of cash on the counter top. "Ok, if you want to play it that way. Far as I know, jack, they're all legal," said Eddie as he handed over a few keys and a receipt. "Thank you very much," said Giles with a touch of sarcasim. The four turned to leave with a colorful first imppression of Weberton on their minds. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 19:30:04 -0400 From: ~Ripe Wicked Plum~ Subject: BUFFYFIC: SpikeFic: It Won't Do (1/1) Title: It Won't Do Author: ~Ripe Wicked Plum~ a.k.a. Goth Spike E-mail: ripe_wicked_plum@hotmail.com Feedback: "Fancy it, Pet?" Distribution: Spike's Spike (if Sandycat wants it), Spike Girls. All others please ask first. Rating: PG Summary: Spike hears a song and it reminds him of someone. Spoilers: Up through "Anne" Distribution: All things Buffy belong to the incredibly talented Joss Whedon. Maybe he won't sue me. The song lyrics are from "Caramel" by Suzanne Vega (off her Nine Objects of Desire album) I just borrowed it to tell the story. The smoke hung, almost tangible, in the air of the bar. Spike brushed the ashes off of a stool and sat down. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, as a new song began on the jukebox. He exhaled and saw her face hovering before him in the smoke. The Slayer. He couldn't believe he was thinking about her. Again. She plagued his every thought these days. Ever since their brief, but essential, alliance, he hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. "It won't do to dream of caramel, to think of cinnamon and long for you." He had scarcely made it out of town before Dru had come to. Before he had a chance to stop her, she had flung the door open and jumped from the car. She was dust before she ever hit the pavement. He had been lucky. He had burned his hand a bit closing the door, but had gotten off light. He knew he should miss Dru, but he didn't. Maybe it was because she had been unfaithful to him in their last few months together. Maybe it was because he had learned to live without her. Maybe he was too busy thinking about the Slayer to notice Dru was gone. He didn't know and didn't really care, either. "It won't do to stir a deep desire, to fan a hidden fire that can never burn true." He had found himself in Sunnyvale when the car had run out of gas. He had locked all the doors and double-checked the windows before climbing over the seat and stretching out in the back. He had hoped to wake up from the nightmare that had become his life, but he couldn't even fall asleep. He kept replaying the scene over and over in his mind. He saw the Slayer unarmed and backed against the wall with Angelus standing above her, sword in hand. Spike knew he should have helped her. She had trusted him and he had left her to die. He wasn't used to these feelings. He knew happiness. He knew rage. He knew jealousy all too well, but these were new. Guilt. Remorse. Pity. Mixed in there somewhere was admiration. He didn't know how, but she had managed to win. He had seen her earlier this evening at the bus depot. She had purchased a ticket back to Sunnydale. He didn't even know that she had left, yet he wasn't surprised to see her. Nothing about her surprised him anymore. He had wanted to speak to her, but didn't know what to say. She wasn't alone anyway, there was a girl with her. The taller girl looked familiar to him, but he couldn't place her. She wasn't one of the Slayer's usual companions. He followed them back to the tiny apartment that Buffy now called home. He watched them enter the building and had almost followed them in, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. He couldn't face anyone yet, especially not the Slayer. It was too soon. Instead, he had come to this bar, hoping to lose himself in the crowd and drown his sorrows in a glass. The bartender approached now, "What can I get you for?" "Black and Tan, if you've got it," Spike answered, taking another drag off of his cigarette. "Comin' right up." "I know your name, I know your skin, I know the way these things begin;" "Here you go," the bartender said, sliding his drink to him. He turned to leave, but hesitated, saying, "It's probably none of my business, but I have to ask--" "Yes, it's a girl problem. No, it won't work out. No, you wouldn't understand. If the drink comes along with brainless chatter, I'll take my business elsewhere. Do I make myself clear, Mate?" Spike interrupted. "Crystal," was his only reply. Spike watched the short, balding man walk away. He knew that he had been incredibly rude, but he just had no desire to spill his guts to a complete stranger. He just wanted to be left alone. He stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray and took a swallow of his drink. He thought of her again. She looked different earlier. Sadder. Wiser. Prettier. He wondered what had brought her here. Hadn't her friends cleared her name with the police? Angelus and Dru had really messed things up good. One of her friends was dead, though Spike couldn't honestly say he was sad about it. The dark girl--Kendra. Was that her name? Anyhow, she was a slayer. Had Dru not killed her, she would have probably killed them. He felt sorry for the Slayer, his Slayer, Buffy. It must have been very difficult for her. Possibly the only person that knew what it was like to be the Chosen One--how had there been two???--had been killed. Poor Buffy. One friend was dead, others injured, her Watcher had been tortured, and she had been forced to tell her mother about vampires--oh, how he had hated that git. He understood why Buffy had waited so long to fill her in. Maybe that was it. He would have wagered almost anything that was the reason she left. Her mother. Fireworks must have flown after he left her house. Poor Buffy. She must have had to kill Angelus, too. Even though he wasn't the same guy she fell in love with, it couldn't have been easy. Mortal emotions were like that. She probably blamed herself for him losing his soul again. It must have been incredibly rough for her. Slaying had to be hard enough, then factor in school, friends, family, and a love life and you've got enough stress to crack a dam. He understood why she had run away from it all. She was going home, though. All the things unsaid between them would be left that way. All the thoughts he had yet to convey to her would still be with him, festering inside his head. It was for the best, though. He knew it. He didn't know what would happen if he ever shared his feelings with her. It was probably best he never found out. What if she still hated him? He couldn't bear to look in her eyes and see the thinly veiled hatred again. "But I don't know how I would live with myself, what I'd forgive of myself if you don't go." Spike just wished that he could get her out of his mind. When he was awake she was all he thought about. Even in slumber he wasn't safe. She came to him in dreams. A loving, accepting Buffy. She held him and cradled him, like he used to do for Dru. He kissed her and she loved him. She didn't fight him, or pull away, when he fed from her. "So goodbye, sweet appetite, no single bite could satisfy..." Tomorrow, while he dreamt of her in such tender moments, she would be on her way back to Sunnydale. He would wake alone and hungry, wishing he had stopped her from leaving. Wishing he had been nicer to her all along. It wouldn't be easy to forget about her, but he had to. There was no future there. He was a vampire, she was the Slayer. As he sipped his drink, he began to think back to that night. He had felt her heart race as the two of them walked along the streets of Sunnydale. He had saw her cheeks flush when she caught him staring at her. He had seen all the telltale signs of budding romance. Even when she glared at him, there was a soft edge to it. "I know your name, I know your skin, I know the way these things begin;" She was malleable, he knew it. He could change her mind. In time she would accept him for what he was--crazy. She would never love him. He was just lying to himself, imagining things that were never there. She had looked to him for reassurance before she told her mother, though. That one scared glance from her sad eyes had convinced him that she didn't think of him as an enemy. Perhaps there was still hope for them yet. "But I don't know how I would live with myself, what I would give of myself if you don't go." He finished the last of his drink and stood up. Walking the length of the bar he handed the bartender a ten dollar bill. "Keep the change, Mate. I'm sorry about earlier. It's been a rough decade," he offered, stepping out of the door and into the night. He found himself in front of the building he had seen the Slayer and her companion enter. Spike looked up and saw the back of her little, blonde head in a window. He lit another cigarette and exhaled the smoke, sighing wearily. "Goodbye, Buffy," he said, turning to walk away, the song from the bar still playing in his head. "It won't do to dream of caramel, to think of cinnamon and long for you." ~Ripe Wicked Plum~ <--the brain just won't stop churning out ideas lately...unfortunately I don't have enough hands to get all the ideas out!!! - -- Goth Spike/ICQ=2607806/Member:Spike Girls(jury & MommiesCouncil)/Spike4Sexiest/Spike's Minions/Spuffy/Spike's Sweeties (#2)/SOOA[Major General (#5)]/I'm Spike's Ducks/ Spikemania(I cherish Spike's chest)/Red Candy VP/Pres. and founder of the Leo is a Bloody Whelp Club/Keeper of Spike's terms of endearment and his gloves/Guardian of Spike's humanity, his amusement at Buffy's Hallowe'en costume, and his ability to swallow his pride and help Buffy/Keeper of Dru's spiffy wardrobe and her bruises/ Guardian of Dru's gothness and her fondness for Rasputina. ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #357 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. You will need to go through a confirmation process, and the listowners have to manually approve your subscription request, so it may take some time. To unsubscribe, send email to majordomo@xmission.com with unsubscribe buffyfic-digest or unsubscribe buffyfic in the body. Back issues of this digest can be found at: ftp://ftp.xmission.com/pub/lists/buffyfic/archive/ Dalton Spence has also provided an index of the buffyfic archive at: http://www.hwcn.org/~ag775/BUFFYFIC.HTM For help, contact Jill Kirby (jtkirby@mcs.com) or sah (romana@mindspring.com)