From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest) To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #407 Reply-To: $SENDER Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk buffyfic-digest Monday, January 4 1999 Volume 02 : Number 407 In this issue: BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1c/1) BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1a/1) BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1b/1) See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999 19:05:10 -0800 From: taygeta@juno.com (C. Catherine) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1c/1) Disclaimers and such in 1a... *~*~* "How long has it been?" whispered Buffy to Willow as they sat in wait in the second pew. "An hour," Willow whispered back, "What do you suppose happened?" "You don't think she…" "…left him at the altar?" the redhead said with raised eyebrows, "I don't know, but as it seems…shh…Oz's coming back." "Where's Xander, then?" Oz whispered a few words to the reverend that was presiding over the wedding ceremony. The older man nodded and walked to a nearby chair to sit down. Oz coughed lightly before speaking into the mike, "Um…I guess it's my official duty as the best man to tell you all that the wedding has been cancelled. The groom wishes me to tell you that he apologizes for the time that he's taken from your day and he wishes that wherever Grace Wright is right now, he hopes that she's very happy and content in her choice to marry her high school sweetheart. Thank you." The wedding guests murmured loudly as they stood up to walk out of the church. Buffy and Willow followed Oz who had directed them to go out of one of the side doors to another portion of the ancient, pious edifice. "Oz, what happened?" Willow asked of her husband. "Grace called and told Xander that…" "That she doesn't love me, or at least, she's not in love with me," Xander finished and his eyes fell to Buffy for a fleeting moment. Buffy fiddled with her purse and recalled her past words, <"I do love you, but not like that…not how you want me to love you."> With a sigh the former groom continued, "And also that she's gone to marry who she was initially in love with and forever would be in love with, her high school sweetheart. A high school sweetheart in which I insisted that she invite to the wedding. Guess why they met up?" "Uh…I think I'll straighten things out with the caterer and the florist," Oz said. "I'll help," volunteered Willow as she followed him. The married couple left Buffy and Xander in silence. Buffy took a seat on the chair beside Xander's. "Are you going to be okay?" He turned to meet look at her and nodded slowly, "Yeah, in the eventual, I guess, but it's not exactly every day that you get left at the altar." "No, I guess not," she replied smiling lightly at his slight joke, "Xander, I'm sorry that this happened to you…I know how much you loved her." "Thanks," he said looking at her for a moment and then continued, "I guess I'm cursed, huh?" Buffy frowned, "What are you talking about?" "My big moves always somehow end in big failures. I tell the one girl I've loved since I first saw her how I felt, and almost ruined a friendship. I move on and get hitched, only to get jilted. Cursed in love…that is I!" She chuckled softly, "No, Xander, it's just that you haven't found the…y'know…one." "And what would this elusive 'one' be?" he said raising his eyebrows. She sighed and thought for a second, "The one where when you're near that person, you want to be nowhere else…" "Ah…and when you're away, there's no one else you want to be near," he said nodding. "Exactly…" *~*~* <…the way I feel about you,> thought Buffy. She thought back on that singular moment when she just knew - felt - that Xander was her 'one.' That moment had occurred in one of his many LA business trips, of which after the wedding, he had made sure to visit her and the rest of the gang whenever possible. It was a moment that wasn't anything special or out-of-the-ordinary. Yet, it caused this incredible wave of warmth to succumb her, all the while, making her shiver. It was filled with this crystal-clear clarity of this feeling, and yet, it clouded her mind. It was just singularly…incredibly…indescribable… *~*~* "I don't know how you do it," said Xander in amazement as he looked at the painting that Buffy had just completed. "And I can possibly understand how you can compile many-a 200-page novel in that brain of yours?" she prompted with raised eyebrows as she washed the paintbrushes in the sink of her studio. He laughed and stood beside her with a grin, "I guess not. Well, as always, you have your thing and I have mine. Alls I can say is they both beat slayage any day." "I definitely agree to that," she said with a nod and then glanced at the singular brush she left on her easel and rolled her eyes, "Do you mind getting me that?" "No problem," he said and walked to the easel to hand her the brush and smiled a smile that she had long ago dubbed his smile for her… *~*~* …and strange as it was, that was when she knew. This realization wasn't fireworks and it wasn't a magical experience that overwhelmed her, but rather it crept slowly into her acknowledgement. The moment was fleeting, but the impact everlasting. An almost gradual state of bliss had fallen unto her, but unlike the fleetness of the moment, it seemed to have come upon her within years, not seconds. But even that couldn't describe how she felt and although it was months later, she *still* couldn't pinpoint the exact enough - the perfect enough - words. Not that it really mattered. She was content with her awareness, but what troubled her was that *he* wasn't aware of it, and so altered the purpose of coming to New York. Initially it had been about her life's work, but days before her arrival, she had determined it to also be about coming to terms with her life's heart. And as it was, tonight was the night. *~*~* Buffy and Xander walked out of the restaurant laughingly. "That was truly an interesting dining experience," he noted with a silly grin. "It's not every day I see a grown man shriek at the realization that he ordered fish eyes," she replied. "And like you didn't do a little shriek yourself." "I didn't say I didn't, I only said you did…and you did," she pointed out and continued, "I can't believe you actually ate it though!" "My mama always said, life's like a plate of food. You never let it go to waste," he imitated and returned to his normal voice, "And I technically didn't eat it, I only tasted it." "Eating…tasting…however you word it, you *still* consumed!" Xander shook his head and sighed, "One thing I've learned after all these years, never argue with the slayer even if she's of the former kind. You win." "Good. So, um…do you want to call a cab or should I?" Buffy replied with a satisfied grin. "Uh…the hotel's only a couple of blocks away, we could walk this time," he suggested. "Walk?" she said glancing at her feet, "In these shoes?" "Buffy, you've slayed in those shoes," he said, "Well, maybe not the exact same pair, but of a similar kind. Besides a few minutes of walking can't kill ya and I promise if it does…I'll give you a nice funeral." She laughed, "Thank you, Xander. Somehow knowing that…makes me appreciate you a little more." "Aw…come on, humor me? I ate fishy stuff, tonight. If not out of pity, than save the environment from a little exhaust?" he asked. Buffy sighed and smiled, "Only for the environment." They walked towards the hotel and Buffy wondered how she was going to tell him what she had wanted to tell him. She had rewound her words over and over again in her mind, but it wasn't the words that mattered as much as the when. Before she could contemplate any further, Xander's voice broke into her thoughts, "Uh…y'know there was a hidden reason for me wanting to do the walking thing." "Oh?" she said looking at him curiously, "and what was that?" "Uh…there's something I've been meaning to tell you all night," he said and paused. Her heart told her mind not to jump to conclusions, but she wondered if he would tell her something that she had wanted him to re-tell her for a long time. "And what's that?" she asked as they continued to walk on the sidewalk. "I met her." Buffy frowned, "Met her? Met who?" "Y'know…the one." She felt her heart sink and lump grew in her throat, but she held her composure and replied calmly, "You did? T-t-that's great…it's really…really great. So how long have you known that she was the one?" "For awhile. One day it just hit me out-of-the-blue that if I were to never leave her side, I'd the happiest man in the world." "And…have you told her that? Have you told her how you feel?" "Buffy, there aren't enough words in the English language for me to use to say how I feel. What I'm feeling for her is indescribable and I just can't seem to find the right time to tell her, or rather, attempt to tell her. And…I don't even know if I *should* tell her." "What?" She asked with a frowned as all of these concepts hit just too close to home, "Why would you - I don't…" "Fear…I guess. I've been hurt too many times, Buffy…I mean, I know Grace was a mistake and I'm not even sure if I could have gone through with the wedding if it had occurred. But when she told me that she didn't love me - - wasn't in love with me - so much like that night you told me the same at Oz and Wills' party, it brought a lot pain back to the surface… a little too much pain…" "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Xander, and I'm sorry that you've had to feel so much of the bad part of love, but what happened in the past, shouldn't stop you from telling her how you feel." Buffy glanced at the hotel that they had stopped in front of and continued, "Xander, if you know in your heart that she is the one, if you love her, and if you know that it isn't a matter of wanting her, but a matter of needing her, then I suggest you let her know. If you don't, you may regret it until no end…if you wait, it might be too late." "So, you think I should tell her." "Yeah, I think you should," she said and sighed, "I better get inside. Thanks for dinner." "No problem," he smiled, "Good-bye, Buffy." "Good-bye, Xander." With that, she walked into the hotel and quickly approached the elevator. As she waited for the door to open, the tears that had been threatening to fall, fell and wetted her cheeks. Her throat tightened and her chest ached. And it wasn't so much the physical that plagued her, but it was the emotional of the before and the middle and the after. She had gone through too much for it to end this way, and the irony of that was that all that she had gone through didn't make a singular difference. It didn't change anything of how that conversation ended at Willow and Oz's party. It didn't change her relationship with Xander for better or for worse. All it did was made her heart see, her mind know, and both disappointed. The doors opened and she walked into the empty elevator and watched the doors close with the ding of the elevator, but they didn't close. She blinked as she saw the doors open again when a hand had stopped them from closing. "Xander…?" "Buffy…" he said breathlessly and before she could even comprehend the events, he stepped into the elevator and kissed her. The kiss spoke of feelings long contained and of love and of the long journey they had endured to reach this far - to make this kiss. It spoke of heartache, of emotional suffering, of pain that somehow didn't matter because of this moment unlike the rest. It was a moment that marked something difference, marked a level that could only become something better with each moment thereafter, marked the time to the second when they became one. Finally, they pulled away and Buffy leaned her head against his chest with a sigh. It felt so right to be in his arms and her arms around him. It felt so right to be there and be there forever. She heard him whisper into her ear, "You're my one and only, the ruler of my heart. That dedication was yours when I made it and I knew then and before and thereafter that it was always going to be you. I tried to move on…I tried to find love, but I left my heart to you that night you told me you didn't love me and I never took it back. I never intended on taking it back. Buffy…you're the one…" ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999 19:05:00 -0800 From: taygeta@juno.com (C. Catherine) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1a/1) TITLE: Becoming One (1a/1) AUTHOR: Taygeta E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com FEEDBACK: Very muchly wanted (bad or good...whatever the complaint) DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first. RATING: PG KEYWORDS: Buffy/Xander fanfic AUTHOR'S NOTE: Becoming never happened. DISCLAIMER: The characters portrayed in this fanfic and any such reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other words, they do not belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for this story. Copyright infringement not intended. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Becoming One By: Taygeta Buffy Summers leaned back on the hotel couch with a sigh, it had been a long day…a long, exhausting day. she scoffed to herself It's not that she disliked her career field, she loved it with a passion because it was place, a realm in its own, and a state of singularity that she had learned in her youth as her comfort zone. However, it was one thing to paint and a whole other thing to host an art show. she thought of the slayer skin she had shed not too long ago when the Watcher's Council had given her a retirement, something few slayers ever had to call their own. She had the deaths of Druscilla, Spike, and Angelus, and not to mention the Master before, to thank for that. Angel…the name hadn't crossed her mind in awhile, or at least she hadn't let it, as she had spent days like this one - chock full with busy work - to try and forget. She had long forgiven herself for the circumstances surrounding the soul-encumbered vampire, and although she remembered him and a part of her would always love him, he no longer chained himself to her thoughts, unlike Xander had for the past year. She remembered that night at Willow and Oz's engagement party vividly…the laughter, the congratulations, the toasts, the dancing, the music, etc., but somehow the meaning of all that was lost as she thought back. What held itself with meaning in her mind was a conversation she would change in a heartbeat with what she realized now. *~*~* Her eyes scanned around the crowded room for Xander and frowned when she couldn't find him anywhere. Excusing herself from one of the many confining, boring conversations that she had participated in the entire night, she went out to search for Oz's named best man. Dodging away from more approaching guests, she thought and quickly walked out onto the balcony, closing the French doors behind her. "Xander," she said in surprise to see him standing against the railing. He turned to see her stand beside him and smiled, "Decided to bail, did you? You were always the strong one, lasted a hell of a lot longer than I did. Do you know how many of those people had a copy of my latest book? You'd think Oz and Willow had given them out as party favors or something." "Oh, come on," she said, "Don't tell me that the attention grabber with his 'I am Mr. Writer Man' front can't take the fame that comes with being a world famous author." "Hardly world famous," he gibed, "More like 'Local Boy Gets Some Respect' after a few cheesy novels." She gave him a Look and replied, "Hardly cheesy, Xand, more like 'Local Boy Writes Good Stuff.'" "Really?" he said with raised eye brows, "Interesting perspective, Ms. Artist, I didn't even know you read any of my works." "I've got a couple books lying around, of which haven't been signed with your scrawl of a signature," she hinted, "And I think I have your latest novel somewhere like in my hand." "Accompanied with a pen?" he asked as he took the book. "Sorry, I only provide the book, seeing as how I was going to try and finish the last three chapters," she said as she eyed the book carefully. "Ah…out for some late night bookage," he said with a nod as he pulled a pen from his pocket and stood in thought. Buffy stared at him and smiled as she noted how the awkward youth had grown to be at 24. He had always been handsome, but in his Italian suit, he added stylish and mature to the word, and the goatee that he sported added to that maturity. Realizing that she was staring just a little longer than necessary, she quickly turned away and glanced at the sky, "It's nice out here, don't you think? A nice night for our two happy friends in there." "Extremely happy friends," he said as he glanced up, "It's kind of weird that they're getting married, I mean, it seemed that just yesterday we were worrying about vampires and creatures of the night. Now, it's wedding plans for the wolf and the witch." "The wolf and the witch, I'm not sure how far you can actually say we've come from the creatures of the night," Buffy said, "But it is definitely a beautiful, peaceful night, especially when you don't have hoards of guests talking to you at every turn." "Peaceful…yeah," he said and then he looked at her and said, "And definitely beautiful." She crimsoned and smiled under his glance and the looked at the closed book in his hands, "Um…are you done?" "Yeah, here," he said handing her the novel with some hesitance. Opening the cover, she read the neat scrawl: To Buffy: With all the love in my heart, with all the love that is within me. Xander She stood in silence with the opened volume and a slightly agape expression and then glanced at him, "Xander…?" "I know it's sudden, but I had to tell you. I've wanted to tell you that for so long, I've wanted you to know for so long, and there never seemed to be the right time or the right place and I'm thinking now that this is neither the right time or place. But, I don't care. You have to know that I love you. That I've been in love with you ever since that day I first saw you. Ever since then, it's never been anything but that. " "I - I don't know what to say," she stammered, "This is beyond sudden, this is like instantaneous." "I know my timing for romantic announcements are always off-key, and this is certainly not an exception, but keeping this from you for all these years, feeling this way, my audacity can't exactly surprise you. As to what to tell me… Say you love me," he said, "Or say you don't…say anything…just tell me where I stand. I'm 24-years-old, Buffy, and although that isn't exactly Father Time, I want to be able to move on…if I have to." "Xander, I do love you, but not like that…not how you want me to love you," she said wondering how all of this had suddenly come into play. "You're my best friend, you know more about me than even I know about myself, but I don't think I can…love you…in that way…ever. I'm sorry." He shook his head, "Don't be. I thought that maybe - well - doesn't really matter what I thought 'cause I thought wrong, and I'm really embarrassed, not to mention disappointed, slightly hurt, and I think I'll go inside now before everything gets decidedly worse." "Xander, don't be like this," she said as he approached the door, "Tell me we're still friends?" Glancing at her before he walked in, he said, "Of course, we're still friends, and at this rate, we'll always be friends. I'd rather lose my heart than lose you forever. It's just not what I want us to be, but hey…I can deal. This is what I wanted to hear. After all, there are a lot of things in this world I can't have and now I can say you're one of them. Although I wish to God you weren't because try as I might, I'll never find anyone else like you…ever. And for that, I'm sorry…" *~*~* And try as she might, she couldn't forget that night and what had been said. She avoided him at all costs and he did the same by flying back to New York a week or so later. They didn't see each other until 6 months after, where avoidance was impossible at the wedding of Willow and Oz. Within those six months, Buffy found herself thinking a lot about Xander, and analyzing what exactly it was she felt about him. Although what she said to him that night hadn't exactly been a lie, it wasn't exactly true, either. The truth being that even before that incident on the balcony, she had had doubts on the premise of her feelings for him, but apparently her contemplation didn't really much matter on their friends' wedding day. She sighed and realized that if there was anything she learned that day, it was that the ability to find someone else wasn't as difficult as it was made to sound. ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999 19:05:05 -0800 From: taygeta@juno.com (C. Catherine) Subject: BUFFYFIC: Becoming One (1b/1) Disclaimers and such in 1a... *~*~* "Willow, that girl hanging on Xander's arm…a friend of yours or Oz?" Buffy questioned with raised eyebrows as she peeked out of the bride's dressing room and saw a tall, dark-haired and dark-eyed beauty beside the best man. The redhead adjusted her veil and glanced out through the tiny opening and shook her head, "No…I've never seen her before. He told me he was dating someone awhile back. I guess that's her, maybe that's what Oz and he were talking about yesterday. I mean, one more extra guest wouldn't matter since a few aren't even going to be able to come to the reception. Whoever she is, she must have flown down from New York with him because he's only been back a week." "She definitely picked the generous guy…trips to L.A. from NYC? Must have cost Xander a pretty penny," Buffy said. "Xander's never been big on money…I know that he's given a lot to a few organizations of some of my colleagues," Willow said and she handed her one of his latest books. "What's this for?" she questioned holding the book. "Take a look at the dedication…that might be a clue to who she is," hinted Willow as she placed an earring in her right lobe. Buffy opened the book and turned the page to the dedication. In a cursive script read: ~~~To my one and only, the ruler of my heart~~~ Ignoring the sad feeling that overcame her and the fading optimism of what else the girl might have been, she mustered a smile, "That's really sweet…Xander's turning a romantic on us, should we fear?" "Xander's always been a romantic, you just know it more now," she replied as she placed the book she handed to her on the table. "I remember how he used to talk about you back in high school. Side from some guy commentary, he said some really sweet things, even after, he had a major soft spot for you. Still does." "Could have done you better as a gal pal to give me a little idea that he had a thing for me," said Buffy as she placed a bobby pin in Willow's hair to help the veil stay. "Oh, right," she replied, "At what time? When you were crushing over Angel and pretty much unintentionally trashed Xander when you said no to his one and only attempt of asking you out? Or when you were brooding over losing Angel and he was dating Cordelia? While you were in pursuit of an art career and he was racking his head to get a publishing agent that could get him published?" "Okay, you have a point, even when you were playing, 'Ms. Hands-off-my-particular,' I was having it bad with my major Love Wacky thoughts over Angel," Buffy said as she adjusted the veil critically in the mirror, "There." Willow turned to her and smiled, "Thanks. Would you have wanted me to tell you? I mean, when I had a pretty good idea he was crushing over you? What would you have said?" "I'd probably tell you, I'd talk to him. Let it plague me for awhile, and then pull the Spring Fling incident all over again," she admitted as she remembered their conversation so long ago. "Well, what about now?" Buffy frowned, "What do you mean, Wills? What about now?" "Hypothetically speaking, I mean. If I did know he felt that way now and told you, what would you do?" "Willow, he has a girlfriend," she said trying to ignore the question. "Say he doesn't." "Why are you asking me this? Now?" The redhead looked at her friend thoughtfully and replied, "I want to know if the two main reasons I gave up on my schoolgirl ideas of Xander - one being Oz and two being that I've always thought you and he had something - were really facts than reasons. I know the first one," she smiled softly, "and I kinda like to know the second." The former slayer fiddled with the brush in her hand and sat down. She fell silent for a moment and looked up at her best friend, "What if told you that I'd go out with him in a heartbeat? What would you say?" "I'd say, when did you realize that?" "Not too long after he told me he was in love with me…" "But then why -" "Not too long after he told me he was in love with me," Buffy repeated with a sigh and continued, "Not too long after I told him I didn't and couldn't ever feel the same." "Buffy, I don't understand." "And neither do I. Willow, I can't tell you that I'm in love with him because I don't know." "Then why would you be so inclined as to date him?" and Willow hid a smile as she recalled Xander's "Date me," statement years ago. "I mean, after all this time, to risk a friendship by dating him, would kind of mean that you had some pretty serious feelings for him…right?" "I…uh…" Cordelia Chase, who had somehow named herself the wedding coordinator, peeked into the room, "Everything's ready to go…that is…if the bride's not getting cold feet." "Me?" Willow said with a smile as she stood up, "Never." The so-called coordinator walked out to cue the organist as Willow and Buffy walked out of the room. Before Buffy's cue as maid of honor was made, the bride squeezed her hand and whispered, "We'll talk about it later." Upon seeing her cue, Buffy smiled and nodded silently before walking down the aisle… *~*~* Somehow, however, that later never came. Of course, it might have had something to do with the announcement that Xander was engaged… *~*~* "Oz and Willow, I know it's the honorary customary for the best man to do the toasting, but for once, I have to say I'm speechless." Xander began as he held up a glass of champagne and the crowd of guests laughed at the joke. "Well, I guess I've known you guys for a long time and Willow, here, the longest, and I wish you the best of years and a marriage filled with happiness and success that I know that you'll have no trouble in accomplishing. I can only hope that my engagement and, of course, marriage, to Grace will be a near equivalent of yours." Xander sat down as the crowd of guests looked at him in surprised silence and with a nudge from his fiancée, he stood up again laughingly, "Oh, didn't I tell you all?" His eyes met Buffy's who sat across the way and he smiled softly, "I'm getting married…" *~*~* Even today, Buffy still felt the shock the news had brought to her system. She supposed that it had to do with thinking so much and so long about what she would say to him at the wedding, and realizing that all of her contemplation didn't matter much - that all of her feelings - didn't matter much at all. Despite his announcement though, she had determined that she would talk to him that day and sort things out, and with a another contemplative sigh, she supposed that his announcement made talking all the more easier. *~*~* Buffy looked around the room carefully. The bride and groom had long ago left, but the party was still in full swing. Although she saw Xander's fiancée talking to some of the quizzical guests, Xander was nowhere to be found. She finally thought to look at the balcony and low and behold, he was there. Seeing him there reminded her of the last time she had talked to him and as she walked towards him, she hoped the outcome of this balcony conversation was better than the first. "Hey," Xander said as he turned around to see her. She smiled, "Hey, yourself. Long time no see." He nodded slowly, "Yeah, it has been awhile, hasn't it?" "I guess time flies when you fall in love," she said. Xander chuckled softly, "I guess it does." After a thoughtful pause, he continued, "Buffy, I'm sorry for…well, I'm not sorry that I told you what I told you, but I am sorry that I didn't keep to what I said about us being friends in spite of that." Buffy shook her head, "It's okay…really. I'm just glad that you found someone who can love you, and who you obviously love…I'm just happy that you're happy, and whatever happened in the past doesn't matter as long as everything's okay now. Everything is okay, right?" "More than," he replied. "So, tell me about Grace. Tell me about the girl that really stole your heart." "I met her not soon after our…um…talk and well, Grace Wright is a wonderful actress, a wonderful woman, a wonderful person and much more. There's so much to say and not enough words - even for a writer - to say it in," he said simply. "Funny, he said the same thing about you…well sub the actress with artist," said Grace as she entreated on their conversation. She took her fiancé's arm, "For a writer, he's not very original." "Well, I could have told you that," Buffy said with a soft smile. "I must say, it's a pleasure to finally meet you after hearing so much about you from Alexander," the actress said. "Well, I wish I could say the same, but…um…Alexander and I haven't been able to get in touch with each other in awhile," she replied the full name felt foreign to her native tongue. "I guess a lot can happen in a short while, and in your case, something wonderful. Congratulations." "Thank you," Grace said and she turned to Xander, "Honey, it's kind of late, we should probably head home." "Uh…yeah…" he said nodding his head in agreement, "We'll see you, Buffy." "Yeah…see ya around." Buffy looked on at the two as they walked away hand-in-hand. She supposed that she was happy for him…happy that he found the happiness he deserved to have. Yet, the thickness in her throat, the heaviness of her heart, and the tears that she held within, spoke of otherwise. *~*~* She wasn't sure what made her decide to come to the wedding. The first thing she had decided when hearing the wedding date was that she was going to avoid it all cost. Yet, as the date drew nearer and conversations with Xander grew to an almost daily concept, she knew she had to go. She had to move on and she had to be a friend, and seeing Xander happy and his relationship with Grace in a real-to-life perspective than just through the descriptive tendencies of Xander, would cause her to do just that. Of course, that might have happened if indeed he had gotten married… *~*~* ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ End of buffyfic-digest V2 #407 ****************************** To subscribe to buffyfic or buffyfic-digest, send the command subscribe buffyfic-digest or subscribe buffy to majordomo@xmission.com. 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