From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: (cdc) (Fwd) estrella war collegium (fwd) Date: 06 Nov 1998 07:59:25 -0700 This is a list of the classes being offered at Estrella War next year. Unto All Estrella War XV, is offering a wide range of classes for everyone's enjoyment and enrichment. Classes will be from Thursday, 9am to Sunday, 1pm. At this date we have over 91 classes and it is climbing every day. These classes are for the benefit of all: to that end, I ask for your help. Can you, your Household, your Shire, Your Barony, or Your Kingdom let us have the use of sunshades, Pavilions, Water bottles, paper cups and paper towels for the Collegium. On Saturday we are having a Children's Collegium from 9-5pm. Classes are for 7-14 year olds. These classes are one hour long. If you can help (please, I must have information by December 1, 1998), if you would like to teach a class, if you need more information please contact: Lady Eden Blacksmith, Sonja Boroughf, 3300 Harrison, Apt. 5D, Kingman, AZ, 86401 520-757-8371, edenblacksmith@usa.net Thank you, In Service to the Dream Lady Eden Blacksmith ESTRELLA WAR XV COLLEGIUM ********SUBJECT TO CHANGE****** As of 11-5-98 Schedule for Thursday Time Class Teacher 9-11am Beginning Baskerty: Flat Reed Drink Holder Limit 10, $ 3.50 Lady Gwendolen Wold Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Forging, Raising, and Hollow-forming Non-Ferrous Metals Limit 20, $5, hammer Lady Morgan the Celt de Artemis Barony of Ered Sul, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Dog Robbing 101 Mistress Helen Jeanette of Fox Hall Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Adapting Period Recipes for open fire/Dutch oven cooking Maestro Domingo Diego Diaz de la Vega e Martin de Valencia etc. Barony of Tis Ysgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am 9-11am Illumination- Flemish Style Limit 10 Lady Dairine mor o'h'Uigin The Barony of TisYsgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am 11-1pm Medieval Oriental Bookbinding $1.50 Sir Luighseach nic Lochlainn Barony of Dreiburgen, Kingdom of Caid 11-1pm Forming And Fitting ABS Armor - One Approach To Affordable Fighting Gear $1 Harry Rudkin Barony of Twin Moons, House Staghold, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Idiot's Delight Chain-making class (necklace) Limit 20, $5, 2 pliers Lady Morgan the Celt de Artemis Barony of Ered Sul, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm How to enter an Arts and Sciences Competition Baroness Isabel du Lac d'Azur Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Russian/Ukrainian cooking Limit 15, $5 Mordechai Reuven ben Moshe Yitzaak Great Dark Horde 11-1pm Blackwork: "Spanische Needlework" Bring materials Meadbhh ni' Dubhthaigh The Barony March of MonsTonitrus, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm 1-3pm Etiquette for these Middle Ages Duchess Larissa Alwynn Clarewoode of Aquitaine Barony of the Steppes Kingdom of Ansteorra 1-3pm "Sprang $2 Her Ladyship Cynthia de Wickeresham Barony of Calafia, Kingdom of Caid 1-3pm Beginning Rapier THL Diego de Marulanda The Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Basic Liqueur Making (21 or older) limit 10, $5 Lady Addrienne de La Montagne Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Italian Dance Dughall Mach Eoghainn Mach Laomuinn Mach Fhearchair The Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Historical Camping on a Budget Mistress Helen Jeanette of Fox Hall Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm 3-5pm Intermediate English Country Dance Lady Gwendolen Wold Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Costuming Your Persona Class #1 #1 of 3 classes Duchess Larissa Alwynn Clarewoode of Aquitaine Barony of the Steppes Kingdom of Ansteorra 3-5pm Intermediate Rapier THL Diego de Marulanda The Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Tentmaking (2-2hour classes) #1 Lady Mira Silverlock McKendrick The Kingdom of An Tir 3-5pm Concerning Jews in Period $3 Mordechai Reuven ben Moshe Yitzaak Great Dark Horde 3-5pm 3-5pm Schedule for Friday Time Class Teacher 9-11am Middle Eastern Dance #1 of 3 classes Lady Kessa 9-11am Basic Combat Archery Handbook for sale (optional) Sir Jon Fitz-Rauf 9-11am Waraji: Craft of the Japanese Traveler's Sandal. Limit 10, $3 Sir Akitsuki Yoshimitsu Barony of Coeur d'Ennui, Kingdom of Calontir 9-11am A Persona in the time of Richard II $1 Lady Aidlan ni Maghnus Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Tentmaking (2-2hour classes) #2 Lady Mira Silverlock McKendrick The Kingdom of An Tir 9-11am Tatting: A Faster Way to "Fake" Period Lace Bring materials if you have them Meadbhh ni' Dubhthaigh The Barony March of MonsTonitrus, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Cooking: Substituting Period Ingredient $5, bring feast gear Kateryn de Develyn Barony of Coeur d'Ennui, Kingdom of Calontir 11-1pm Chivalry Bring paper and pen Baron Sir Dietrich von Hammerstien Baron for the Barony of Twin Moons, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Hardinger Embrodiery #1 of 3 classes Baroness Francesca 11-1pm Turn-shoe making $1 Lady Aidlan ni Maghnus Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Starting a group in the SCA Madame Jacquelin de Normadie The Incipient Shire of WinDale, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Middle Eastern Dance Music Master Avatar of Catsprey The Barony ofLoch Soillier, The Kingdom of Ansteorra 11-1pm "There's more to Rigid Heddle than plain weave" .50 cents, bring loom Mistress Edwinna of Hawk's Bluff Canton of Gallavalley, Barony of Dreiburgen, Kingdom of Caid 11-1pm Ghawazee Dance Steps Limit 20, .50cents bring zills Mistress Catarina della Zimarra (Cat) Barony of Lyondemere, Kingdom of Caid 1-3pm Proper Irish and Scottish Costuming Barwn Gwylym ab Owain Baron for the Barony of Ered Sul, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Hands on Chain Maille Limit 20, bring 2 pliers Lord Alasdair Mac Roibeirt Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Female Fighters: if you teach one, if you are one, if you fight one Duchess Elina of Beckenham Kingdom of the West 1-3pm Comparative Culture of the Kingdoms Her Royal Aten Majesty Amanda Edwin Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Basic Weaving Optional: Yarns of different textures Lady Moira O'Morchoe Barony of Albaron, Kingdom of the Outlands 1-3pm Court Dance Music Master Avatar of Catsprey The Barony ofLoch Soillier, The Kingdom of Ansteorra 1-3pm Beginning Middle Eastern Dance Limit 25, fee $2, Students should bring zills (finger cymbals--total of 4) if they have them and wear clothing they can dance in. Mistress Catarina della Zimarra (Cat) Barony of Lyondemere, Kingdom of Caid 3-5pm Mehndi: The art of Henna body painting (16 or older) Limit 20 Lady Rosamund Aurelia Ravensea Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 4-5pm Period Firearms: Their Construction and Use Barwn Gwylym ab Owain Baron for the Barony of Ered Sul, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Costuming Your Persona Class #2 #2 of 3 classes Duchess Larissa Alwynn Clarewoode of Aquitaine Barony of the Steppes Kingdom of Ansteorra 3-5pm Beyond Le Pompe: Period Bobbin Lace" #1 class of 3 classes limit 6, (sign up for all 3 classes) $4 (one time fee) Her Ladyship Cynthia de Wickeresham Barony of Calafia, Kingdom of Caid 3-5pm Jacobean Stumpwork Caskets Baroness Isabel du Lac d'Azur and THL Fiona Gwyllt Wynne Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm How to Authorize your Fighter Madame Jacquelin de Normadie The Incipient Shire of WinDale, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Deciphering a Period Recipe (Recipe Redaction) $2 Mistress Catarina della Zimarra (Cat) Barony of Lyondemere, Kingdom of Caid Schedule for Saturday Time Class Teacher 9-11am Calligraphy Basics to Bold $1 M'lady Lydia the confused Incipient Shire of Aurochfiord Fiord, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Middle Eastern Dance #2 of 3 classes Lady Kessa 9-11am Spinning without a Wheel $10/person Instructor will provide all supplies and students will keep a drop spindle. Lady Moira O'Morchoe Barony of Albaron, Kingdom of the Outlands 9-11am Four and Twenty ways to prepare to cook a feast Sabia of St. Kilda The Barony of al-Barran, Kingdom of the Outlands 9-11am Bringing Children to War Lady Aimee Douglas The Incipient Shire of WinDale 9-11am Illumination-Celtic Knotwork made easy Limit 20 Lady Dairine mor o'h'Uigin The Barony of TisYsgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am 11-3pm note: two classes Basic Bardic Prepartion and Performance AND Adavanced Bardic Baroness Linotte Lemaitre Baroness for the Barony of Atenveldt,Kingdom of Atenveldt Lord Taliesin Flynn The Barony of Twin Moons, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Basic Knitting One pair of knitting needles size 6. Lady Moira O'Morchoe Barony of Albaron, Kingdom of the Outlands 11-1pm Open Fire Soapmaking Lady Aidlan ni Maghnus Barony of Atenveldt, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm How to start a Newsletter Madame Jacquelin de Normadie The Incipient Shire of WinDale, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm 11-1pm 11-1pm 1-3pm Hardinger Embrodiery #2 of 3 classes Baroness Francesca 1-3pm Sharking Hole in the Wall (Dance Class) Dughall Mach Eoghainn Mach Laomuinn Mach Fhearchair The Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Heraldry 101 Baron Master Yehudah of Nuremberg Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Organzing a War Kitchen Madame Jacquelin de Normadie The Incipient Shire of WinDale, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Glass Beadmaking Limit 8, $4 Her Ladyship Cynthia de Wickeresham Barony of Calafia, Kingdom of Caid 1-3pm Unicorn Tapestries Limit 20, $7 Lady Dairine mor o'h'Uigin The Barony of TisYsgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 1-3pm Making a Celtic Spiral Bracelet Limit 10,$3, bring Round nose and Flat nose pliers and a small wooden dower (1/4 to 1/2 inch diameter). THL Miriam Bas Levi The Barony of Calafia, The Kingdom of Caid 3-5pm Costuming Your Persona Class #3 #3 of 3 classes Duchess Larissa Alwynn Clarewoode of Aquitaine Barony of the Steppes Kingdom of Ansteorra 3-5pm Grisaille: Catching the Light $1, see material list Master James Andrew MacAllister Barony of Gyldenholt, Kingdom of Caid 3-5pm Beyond Le Pompe: Period Bobbin Lace" #2 of 3 classes limit 6, (sign up for all 3 classes) $4 (one time fee) Her Ladyship Cynthia de Wickeresham Barony of Calafia, Kingdom of Caid 3-5pm Court Heraldry Count Denis of the Titans Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Basic War Camp Sanitation Limit 8, $2 Maestro Domingo Diego Diaz de la Vega e Martin de Valencia etc. Barony of Tis Ysgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Basic Beading Limit 20, .50 cents M'lady Lydia the confused Incipient Shire of Aurochfiord Fiord, Kingdom of Atenveldt 3-5pm Making tweed and other blended yarns $2, bring wheel or drop spindle Mistress Edwinna of Hawk's Bluff Canton of Gallavalley, Barony of Dreiburgen, Kingdom of Caid Children's Collegium Age 7-14 Saturday Only TIME CLASS TEACHER 9-10AM Basic Heraldry for Children. Crayons and Coloring books will be provided which will contain all of the basic tinctures, charges, and positions found in heraldry. The children will color in the books as part of the lesson and will then be sent on a scavenger hunt to find the names of the owners of heraldic banners that are displayed all over the site. Class limit 30, no fee, however, donations to help cover the costs are welcome. Lord Pendar the Bard Barony of al-Barran in the Kingdom of the Outlands 11-12pm Handbuilding Ceramics The first step in understanding ceramics is how to make a pinch pot. In this class you will get to make a make a pinch pot shaker. Also, fundamental aspects of ceramics will be taught. class limit 20, class fee$1 M'lady Lydia the confused Incipient Shire of Aurochfiord Fiord, Kingdom of Atenveldt 12-1pm 1-2pm Basic Calligraphy This class will teach the basic steps needed to learn the art of fine writing Class limit 20, class fee$1 M'lady Lydia the confused Incipient Shire of Aurochfiord Fiord, Kingdom of Atenveldt 2-3pm 3-4pm 4-5pm Schedule for Sunday Time Class Teacher 9-11am Carolingean Calligraphy Limit 10, $1, see material list Sir Luighseach nic Lochlainn Barony of Dreiburgen, Kingdom of Caid 9-11am Middle Eastern Dance #3 of 3 classes Lady Kessa 9-11am Beyond Le Pompe: Period Bobbin Lace" #3 of 3 classes limit 6, (sign up for all 3 classes) $4 (one time fee) Her Ladyship Cynthia de Wickeresham Barony of Calafia, Kingdom of Caid 9-11am Beginning Embroidery: Stitches and Researching Patterns Bring materials Lady Ninian Erde Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am How to put your local group or household on the INTERNET Limit 20, bring paper and pen Lady Dairine mor o'h'Uigin The Barony of TisYsgithr, Kingdom of Atenveldt 9-11am Russian/Ukrainian cooking (repeat) Limit 15, $5 Mordechai Reuven ben Moshe Yitzaak Great Dark Horde 9-1pm 4 hour class Andean Weaving (4 hour class) $5 Lady Moira O'Morchoe Barony of Albaron, Kingdom of the Outlands 11-1pm 11-1pm Hardinger Embrodiery #3 of 3 classes Baroness Francesca 11-1pm Court Heraldry Count Denis of the Titans Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Advanced Rapier THL Diego de Marulanda The Barony of SunDragon, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm All about a Reeve Mandatory for all Kingdom of Atenveldt Reeves THL Alina Francesca de Navarre Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Handbuilding Ceramics Limit 20, $1 M'lady Lydia the confused Incipient Shire of Aurochfiord Fiord, Kingdom of Atenveldt 11-1pm Mongol culture $3 Mordechai Reuven ben Moshe Yitzaak Great Dark Horde ____________________________________________________________________ Get free e-mail and a permanent address at http://www.netaddress.com/?N=1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: (cdc) (Fwd) [aten-list] Estrella War Pre-Registration (fwd) Date: 10 Nov 1998 10:11:54 -0700 Greetings, all, Seems to be the time for Estrella War posts! Please allow me to introduce myself, I am Lady Giliana and I am the Pre-Registration Steward for Estrella War XV. This year is the first time that pre-registration is available for Estrella, so I wanted to make it known to all at this time. Pre-registration for Estrella is meant to make Troll go faster and allows folks early entry to the site. Troll will go faster, as your information will be ready already. You'll come to the door with your pre-reg confirmation, membership verification, and mundane ID (like drivers license) to be allowed access to the pre-reg line. Parking passes, gate books, children's wristbands, pre-printed waivers, site tokens, etc., will be organized for easy access. You will review everything, sign what you need to and be on your way! I'm hoping for each person's registration to only take a few minutes. No forms to fill-out there, it will be done ahead of time. Entry to the site will be 8am for pre-registered folks, vs noon for everyone else. (Note: Prices are the same and payment is in money order or cashiers checks only.) The form is designed that you can print it out and follow the directions. Pretty easy, really. (If I do say so myself. ) The form is available in many formats at the Estrella War website: http:\\www.estrellawar.com. If this is an inconvenience, or if you have any questions/concerns, please do feel free to contact me directly. I can also mail or fax forms upon request. Feel free to copy these forms (and this information) as often as you like. In Service, Lady Giliana Spencer de Windermere SunDragon / Atenveldt ICQ #334088 AIM GilianaSCA ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: (cdc) (Fwd) Utah drivers Date: 11 Nov 1998 13:56:50 -0700 Anyone who travels through construction zones to SLC will appreciate this. 16 BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN UTAH 1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the construction barrels. 2. Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle, so never use them. 3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 5. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (Remember no-fault insurance, he might not have much to lose, you do.) 6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your anti-lock braking system kicks in to give you a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. 7. Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to back up. 8. The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information; they're just to make the traffic look progressive. 9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway. 10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make Utah look as if it conforms with other state policies; these are given only as suggestions and are readily unenforceable. 11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that the driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic on I-15. 13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the unwitting breakdown victim get mugged, the proceeds of which are vested directly into the Democratic frontrunner's campaign for governor. 14. Learn to swerve abruptly. Utah is the home of the high-speed slalom course thanks to UDOT, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes. 15. It is traditional in Utah to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. The state is founded upon such traditions. 16. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: (cdc) (Fwd) Proposed Corporate Rapier Rules Date: 12 Nov 1998 08:37:52 -0700 ------- Forwarded Message Follows ------- Reply-to: artemisia@server.umt.edu Don Giovanni, the new Society Rapier Marshall, has drafted proposed rules for rapier. The current SCA rules set bare minima, which the various Kingdoms must flesh out with their own rules. The proposed rules are a comprehensive body, though kingdoms would still have the ability to impose additional rules. The rules have been posted online by Don Thore, Avacal's infamous killer and web guru, at http://www.crater.com/avacal/rapier/corprules.html If you have interest in rapier fighting, you should review these rules. Any comments or ideas can be forwarded to me, and I will pass them on to Don Giovanni. Regards, Niccolo niccolo@inconnect.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jeff Lowe Subject: (cdc) Back on with no mail Date: 17 Nov 1998 08:00:54 -0700 Howdy, all! I am back in the system with this neat new computer and color printer. Waaahooo! There is, however, one problem. I have lost all my E-Mail address. I need B. Tinders E-mail, If someone has that would you pleeeezzz mail it to me. Thanks Jurgi ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: (cdc) Shire Birthday Date: 17 Nov 1998 09:07:40 -0700 Raven, Please post the shire birthday announcement to the Artemisian list since it didn't make it into the Sage advice. Rebecca ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Jeff Lowe Subject: Re: (cdc) Proposed sumptuary changes Date: 19 Nov 1998 11:49:09 -0700 I need to poll all members of the Shire within the next few days. If you were not at fighter practice on the 18th, then please respond to this question. Do you favor the changing of Artemisian Sumptuary traditions in the wearing of specified metal circeletts from present and past royalty and baronage to include others of the populace? If 'yes' answer the following. Specified metal bands to be worn by Peers only? " " Grants on up? " " " AOA's on up? Any Paying member? Anyone and their little sisters friend? Any other suggestions? Please respond as soon as Possible. Thanks Jurgi ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Rebecca Mikkelsen" Subject: Re: (cdc) Proposed sumptuary changes Date: 19 Nov 1998 11:55:58 -0700 > Do you favor the changing of Artemisian Sumptuary traditions in the > wearing of specified metal circeletts from present and past royalty and > baronage to include others of the populace? > Yes. > If 'yes' answer the following. > > Specified metal bands to be worn by Peers only? > " " Grants on up? > " " " AOA's on up? > Any Paying member? > Anyone and their little > sisters friend? > > Any other suggestions? > Simple metal circlets (sumptuary law could specify what "simple" means) are jewelry and should be allowed to be worn by anyone whose persona would wear a veil and circlet to keep the veil on. They should not be worn to denote rank. Rebecca ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Randy Chabries Subject: Re: (cdc) Proposed sumptuary changes Date: 19 Nov 1998 13:39:04 -0700 Sounds good. Rebecca Mikkelsen wrote: > > Do you favor the changing of Artemisian Sumptuary traditions in the > > wearing of specified metal circeletts from present and past royalty and > > baronage to include others of the populace? > > > > Yes. > > > If 'yes' answer the following. > > > > Specified metal bands to be worn by Peers only? > > " " Grants on up? > > " " " AOA's on up? > > Any Paying member? > > Anyone and their little > > sisters friend? > > > > Any other suggestions? > > > > Simple metal circlets (sumptuary law could specify what "simple" > means) are jewelry and should be allowed to be worn by anyone whose > persona would wear a veil and circlet to keep the veil on. They > should not be worn to denote rank. > > Rebecca ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: arkasha@digitalpla.net Subject: Re: (cdc) Proposed sumptuary changes Date: 20 Nov 1998 13:22:51 -0700 I think I'd have to say, "No". Each of the ranks you mentioned (other than Grants) already has sumptuary associated with it. AoA's can display their device. Peers have all of their NPS (nifty peer stuff). And anyone and their sister's friend can wear the black/brown leather belt. I like the idea of a hat being (forgive the pun) the brass ring to strive towards. Besides, the specifications for hats are complex enough as is! Have you ever looked at them? Have you ever tried memorizing who can wear a hat? Whether or not it can have points on it? How many? How high? Crenelated? With strawberry leaves? Of what material??? Chipping in my two Kopeks Arkasha ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: John Hugie Subject: (cdc) Hats, etc... Date: 20 Nov 1998 15:37:58 -0700 I think that things should remain as they are. Newcomers get confused enough trying to remember titles and names without throwing in more metal head wear. Kensai ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Merrill C. Pugmire" Subject: (cdc) Hello again Date: 20 Nov 1998 16:49:51 -0700 Hi there! Our computer is fixed, we have a modem, and I am writing this from home! I can and will respond timely from now on. By the way, Gwfy, could you send me instructions for getting my lady wife on the list so I don't have to keep forwarding stuff to her. This is fun, I have missed it. Angus @..@ Merrill C. Pugmire (----) slr4g@cc.usu.edu ( >__< ) Ribbit ^^ ~~ ^^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Merrill C. Pugmire" Subject: (cdc) Adress list Date: 20 Nov 1998 17:20:57 -0700 The following is half Herald's business, half personal from Angus: I am attempting to get a start on the doomsday report, and because of my preference for keeping stuff like that on line, am putting together a database of members, thier awards and arms, etc. Since I am doing that anyway, I decided to follow my illustrious predecessor THL Lynette's example and keep a shire phone/adress list in the same datatbase. Also, I would like to include e-mail adresses with this. So, if anybody on this list has changed any information that might go in such a database since the last adress list was published in January, could you please send it to me. Also I am requesting e-mails from everybody. If you don't want to have something listed, let me know. Also, I will be announcing this in fighter practice, but if you could help me spread the word to those shire members not on this list it would help me gather this information. To those honored but absent members of our shire not currently within our paradisical boundries, if you would like your information (adresses, etc.) listed in the next directory we do, please get it to me as well. Thank you all Angus. @..@ Merrill C. Pugmire (----) slr4g@cc.usu.edu ( >__< ) Ribbit ^^ ~~ ^^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Merrill C. Pugmire" Subject: (cdc) The Evil Henchman's Guide Date: 21 Nov 1998 13:52:05 -0700 >Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1998 12:27:35 +0000 >From: Robert J Welenc >Subject: The Evil Henchman's Guide >MIME-version: 1.0 > >Found it! > >Alanna > ------ > >THE EVIL HENCHMAN'S GUIDE > > Recently, the Society of Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable >decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, >devoted >worshipers, and loyal infantry. We wish to correct this growing >problem >by submitting the following general guidelines for Evil Henchmen. > > DISCLAIMER: The use of masculine/feminine pronouns and >assignment >of gender roles is not intended to preclude a reversal of gender >roles. >It is, however, intended to offend those who think that nuclear >missiles >are deployed because of their phallic appearance. Nyah. > > I. General Tips for Henchmen of All Varieties: > > 1. Avoid getting sent to rough up the hero(es). Ransacking hotel >rooms is probably safe, but going 'round to beat up the good guys is >a sure ticket to the bottom of the Thames. Remember, however, that >all Heroes get roughed up at least once, so if this has never >happened to the Hero, >go for it! > > 2. When the hero or his sidekicks are at your mercy, don't stop to >gloat. > > 3. If you can't resist gloating, don't boast about the reward you >expect to receive from your master for bringing them in or killing >them off. > > 4. If you gloat and boast, don't be surprised if a comrade of the >person you have at your mercy jumps you from behind while you're >distracted with your boasting. > > 5. If you fail to complete your mission, skip town. Returning to >the Evil Overlord to report on your failure will usually get you >killed. > > 6. Avoid killing people not actively involved in the rebellion; the >Evil Overlord has enough enemies as it is. Especially don't kill >relatives, significant others, or best friends of the hero. Normally >after the Evil Overlord is overthrown, henchmen can get off with just >a little community service time, but if you off the Hero's loved >ones, he'll make lasagna out of you. > > 7. Unless the Evil Overlord pays extra for indiscriminate >slaughter, avoid it. Why should you give your services away for free? > > 8. As tempting as it may be, never try to ravish the Evil >Overlord's beautiful-but-wicked daughter. She can probably mop the >floor with you. Daddy will *not* try to stop her. > > 9. Learn where the trap door is in the Evil Overlord's audience >chamber. Avoid standing there, especially when bad news is brought to >the Evil Overlord. > > 10. While the Evil Overlord is gloating over his anticipated >success in the venture he is about to launch, it is considered >impolite to ask "And if you fail?" You probably won't be flogged, >maimed, or killed for your temerity, but why risk it? > > 11. As soon as the evil lord has the hero in his power, seek the >nearest available escape route. The fewmets are about to hit the >windmill. > > 12. Learn to distinguish Heroes from Sidekicks. Heroes are usually >taller and more somber, while Sidekicks dress with more flair and >tell more jokes. Taking on the Hero when you only have enough >manpower/firepower to take on the Sidekick will earn you an >all-expenses-paid trip on Stygian Cruise Lines. > > 13. Never allow yourself to be provoked into doing anything stupid >by insults from the Hero or Sidekick. > > 14. No matter how attractive the captured heroine is or how >seductively she bats her eyes, she really does not want to sleep with >you. Do not unlock the cell door. > > 15. If the heroes give you a chance to surrender or flee, take it. > > 16. If you surrender to the Hero, don't try to stab him when his >back is turned; the Sidekick will get you first. > > 17. If the seemingly helpless person you have just cornered is >confident and unafraid despite being outnumbered and surrounded, you >have encountered a Hero in disguise. Run while you still can. > > 18. If the Hero you are sent after dresses entirely in black, he is >even more dangerous than the Evil Overlord suspects; double all >requisitions for men and firepower. > > 19. Practice your "accidental" sword/gun dropping technique. It's >the only thing that can save you when the hero is winning. > > II. Guidelines for Legion of Doom Troops: > > 1. Before performing guard duty, familiarize yourself with the >sound of a tossed pebble, and learn to avoid being distracted by it. > > 2. When performing guard duty, do not stare continually in one >direction, but take a moment now and then to look around. > > 3. When you are fighting intruders, do not fight them quietly, but >yell "Intruder!" while you still have breath. > > 4. When issued armor or uniforms that contrast with the service >environment, respectfully inquire after more sensibly-colored attire. > > 5. Get plenty of firearms practice. > > 6. Don't attack the hero alone or in pairs. The Evil Overlord hired >a million of you for a reason. > > 7. Never be the first one to charge the hero. > > 8. Exercise care in the abuse of oppressed peoples. Many farm >implements make effective weapons in the hands of a skilled opponent. >Some of those little old men can teach you a thing or two about >hand-to-hand, too. > > III. Tips for Evil Cult Members: > > 1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of an >amateur. > > 2. Familiarize yourself with the specifications for sacrificial >victims, and ensure that unacceptable substitutes cannot be >unexpectedly introduced into the ceremony. If the penalty for >not-to-specs work is death and/or mutilation, consider working for a >more fault-tolerant >deity. > > 3. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct pronunciation >of your deity's name in the privacy of your own room before chanting >it in public. Flash cards are often helpful. > > 4. Before agreeing to impregnation by a supernatural being, >investigate the survival rate of the other women who have undergone >the procedure. > > 5. Never invoke anything bigger than your head. > > 6. Eschew deities whose followers are all young; such faith groups >usually employ an unpleasant retirement procedure. > >7. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight =97 it >attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various >supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during >thunderstorms. Its jingling also tends to warn the hero of your >approach. It also makes >you resemble Mr. T, and nobody wants to join a religion he belongs >to. > > 8. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress >this enough. Pastel colored candles in the shape of cute animals are >like direct sunlight to the Powers of Darkness. > > 9. If the spirit contacted during a seance begins offering >financial advice, you're dealing with a con artist, and not a genuine >medium. > > 10. Always keep your kit with you: candles, chalk, incense, silver >knife, Thuggee cord, service revolver, garlic, Yellow Sign, cab fare, >and change. > > 11. Fluorescent lighting is very annoying to most netherworldly >creatures. > > 12. When the Black Mass goes awry, stay away from the Evil Priest. >Enraged demons always go for the pompous. > > 13. Followers who have a speech impediment should be excused from >speaking parts in any and all ceremonies. The mispronunciation of the >deity's name can have catastrophic effects. > > 14. Plan ahead by selecting ceremonial robes that are easy to run >in while still affording ample concealment. > > 15. If the ritual site has some strange powder sprinkled around >that wasn't there the last time, postpone all ceremonies until the >site is verified. > > 16. When a religious artifact begins emitting light, CLOSE YOUR >EYES. Thousands of cult members could be saved every year if they >followed this simple safety tip. > > 17. When mutilating cattle, avoid the ones with testicles. > > 18. During ritual sacrificing, taking bits home for later is now >generally considered "bad form." > > 19. Blood tests are now required for all sacrificial victims before >the ritual. The effects of HIV+ offerings on the average malefic >deity have never been witnessed by anyone living, or even intact. > > 20. Contrary to historical belief, drugs and invocations do not >mix. When the ritual goes awry, it is vitally necessary to be able >to discern between the gibbering monstrosity to pump full of silver >bullets and the gibbering monstrosity that will fade away after a few >hours, some B >complex, and a good hot bath. > > 21. Never play strip Tarot. > > 22. Piety and belief are powerful things, and few forces in nature, >can stand against one who is true to his faith, his god/goddess, and >the deal made in exchange for the soul. However, it is also true >that gods tend to side with the heaviest artillery, so be prepared to >change sides >at the drop of a hat. > > 23. For those situations where a fresh, living, sacrifice is not >available, the lower ranks of demons can be fooled by microwaving a >previously frozen chunk of ex-victim and cleverly jiggling it. >However, a mock victim sculpted from SPAM is right out. > > IV. Tips for the Evil Overlord's Wicked but Beautiful Daughter: > > 1. Find out all those lovely little family secrets so that the Hero >can never spring them on you. > > 2. Do not fall in love with the Hero. > > 3. If you do fall in love with the Hero, and decide to help him, do >not declare your intentions to Daddy. Daddy will clap you in irons, >pending your execution. The Hero will rescue you, but having to be >rescued is demeaning. > > 4. If the Hero takes you to his secret base, and once there tells >all about his plans, smile sweetly, leave, and find another man; this >Hero is obviously so stupid he will not be around for very long. > > 5. If any of Daddy's Evil Henchmen try to make a move on you, at >least maim them. While the encounter might be interesting, it would >set a bad precedent. > > 6. If you do fall in love with the Hero, and want him to love you >in return, do not use a drug concocted by a wizened old lady living >on the top of a mountain. If the hero is not blind, your natural >charms will be sufficient to win him over. If he does not, or prefers >the One True >Love, then he obviously has rotten taste; find someone better. > > 7. Do not wear dresses with high, fan-like collars. Keep your >clothing to close-fitting, simple little numbers that allow you to >turn your head to see what is behind you. If you have to wear a dress >with such a collar, there is an arcane device called a "mirror" that >allows you to see behind yourself. > > 8. Have some engineers install a hidden exit from the room where >Daddy imprisoned Mommy for the rest of her days after she displeased >him. > > 9. Do not mistreat the populace. Let Daddy be the one to make >enemies of all the Heroes in the land. > > 10. If you have siblings, do not trust them. They'll only take >advantage of you. Of course if they're stupid enough to trust you, >take advantage of them. > > 11. If any of your siblings try to enlist your aid to overthrow >Daddy, smile, promise to think it over, and then turn them in. >They're either stupid (in which case the plot would certainly fail >and you'll all get caught), setting you up (in which case not turning >them in is a very bad >idea), or they've turned Good (in which case life under the new >regime would be boring). > > 12. Laugh at all of the Sidekick's jokes, no matter how lame they >are. That way when you pretend to fall for him he will be more >easily fooled. > > 13. Rather than simply being an attractive stage prop, make sure >you know every detail of the running of the Evil Empire, so that if >anything unpleasant happens to Daddy, you will be able to take over >with minimal fuss. Then make sure that something unpleasant happens >to Daddy. > > 14. If you cannot decided between sleeping with the Hero and slowly >roasting him alive, postpone dealing with him until you have >clarified your emotions. > @..@ Merrill C. Pugmire (----) slr4g@cc.usu.edu ( >__< ) Ribbit ^^ ~~ ^^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Merrill C. Pugmire" Subject: (cdc) Arts and Sciences report Date: 21 Nov 1998 14:12:59 -0700 My lady Wife, Francesca MoAS, has asked me to send a request to the populous of our fair shire. Or at least of this list. She has been unable (read, forgetful) to get reports on the Arts and Sciences accomplishments of our populous for this month, and so would like to ask that people tell her what they have been doing. She can be reached at karalee/francesca@usa.net Thank you all for your kind help in this matter, Angus @..@ Merrill C. Pugmire (----) slr4g@cc.usu.edu ( >__< ) Ribbit ^^ ~~ ^^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: John Hugie Subject: (cdc) Joke Date: 24 Nov 1998 12:46:43 -0700 Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I supect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you doof. Some bozo has stolen our tent."