From: owner-lds-yw-digest@lists.xmission.com (lds-yw-digest) To: lds-yw-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: lds-yw-digest V1 #194 Reply-To: lds-yw-digest Sender: owner-lds-yw-digest@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-lds-yw-digest@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk lds-yw-digest Friday, July 17 1998 Volume 01 : Number 194 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 09:43:02 -0400 From: Karina Tonn Subject: (lds-yw) Re: Lack of guilt Many of our youth have no shame. We were talking about keeping baptismal covenants, and I asked them if they thought going to a drinking party was okay. "Are you asking should we go, or would we go, because we shouldn't, but I would do it anyway." "You can't not have a social life." "Yeah, if we didn't go to drinking parties, then we wouldn't go to any at all." Then the youth boasted how great they were for not being hypocritical in that they admit they will make bad choices instead of pretending to be good. So, last week, I had a talk with my young woman about if she does something bad and doesn't feel badly about that, it is no reason to be proud. She told me that she does feel badly about things she does wrong (she doesn't go to drinking parties--she is really very righteous), although there was a time when she had no guilt about anything. I was very relieved by her spiritual maturity. Some of our ym, however, are maturing more slowly. I thought that perhaps this was a stage they were going through, but your comments make me think maybe education is what they need. Thanks. Karina DSLCM@aol.com wrote: > Dear Sister, > We have a 17 year old Laurel pregnant. It has been (as YW pres) one of the > hardest things I've had to dealt with. What she is going to do is still up in > the air, but really "blew me away" was when she said to me that she had talked > to the bishop, he was having her read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Kimball, > and he (bishop) was actually talking like she should feel GUILTY or > something?! CAn you believe that? Just then, I realized that we teach until > we're blue in the face not to date until you're 15, never be in a car along > with a man, don't let a guy unbutton your blouse, etc. etc. etc., but do we > actually talk about the seiousness of the SIN? WE haven't here. WE brush > over ("go to the bishop: "you can be forgiven") BUT>>>>> > we haven't discussed the seriousness of the sin.. That's where I fell I went > wrong and will change my course of direction. > > I also heard when I saw the SS film that it WAS NOT for the general YW > population. AND > according the the First Presidency message, girls should NOT be keeping their > babies and living with parents. They should be getting married, or adopting > out. > Good luck in this very difficult situation. > Shellie > > - > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 09:49:37 EDT From: Subject: Re: (lds-yw) Boy-Girl parties In a message dated 98-07-16 13:16:02 EDT, you write: << I know that this is pretty conservative, but if this kind of activity is held off until age 16, then they would probably be less inclined to get into the heavy stuff before they are ready to handle it. Okay, your turn. . . . >> My daughter turns 14 next year, so we are gearing up for this new adventure in her life. I am not sure I am ready for it, but, it is going to happen, whether I like it or not. We will let her go to Church dances, but other activities outside of that will be handled on an individual basis. She is not allowed to single date until she is 16. These girl boy parties at the age of 14 I am not sure about. I let my daughter invite 3 boys and 3 girls to her 13th birthday this past year. It techinically was a party, but I was with them the entire time. We went ice skating and then out to eat, and I drove. I felt there was nothing wrong with that. We need to prepare our youth in a healthy way for their dating years. When we act like the other sex has the "plague" I think we are sending the wrong message. The Church has youth intermingling with one another at the age of 12 (Mutual age) and a little more at the age of 14 (Youth dances and Youth Conference) and then the single dating at the age of 16, there is wisdom in all of this. I also believe each family has their own right to have their own personal rules and guidlines, I know I will. Sorry to have rambled so long. Thanks, Karla L1011Jet@aol.com - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 07:53:10 -0600 From: Ricki Edwards Subject: RE: (lds-yw) Re: Lack of guilt I feel it is not education. I would like to remove some 'education' from my mind forever. They 'know' more than we think. Sometimes education just puts it on their minds, rebellion is a natural (though needs curbed or directed) part of teens. What they need is to 'feel the spirit' and to 'desire' to not loose that feeling. Spiritual experiences and feelings are the only real deterent to no shame or poor choices. Ricki > -----Original Message----- > From: Karina Tonn [SMTP:ktonn@geocities.com] > Sent: Friday, July 17, 1998 7:43 AM > To: lds-yw@lists.xmission.com > Subject: (lds-yw) Re: Lack of guilt > > Many of our youth have no shame. We were talking about keeping baptismal > covenants, and I asked them if they thought going to a drinking party was > okay. > "Are you asking should we go, or would we go, because we shouldn't, but I > would do > it anyway." "You can't not have a social life." "Yeah, if we didn't go > to > drinking parties, then we wouldn't go to any at all." Then the youth > boasted how > great they were for not being hypocritical in that they admit they will > make bad > choices instead of pretending to be good. So, last week, I had a talk > with my > young woman about if she does something bad and doesn't feel badly about > that, it > is no reason to be proud. She told me that she does feel badly about > things she > does wrong (she doesn't go to drinking parties--she is really very > righteous), > although there was a time when she had no guilt about anything. I was > very > relieved by her spiritual maturity. Some of our ym, however, are maturing > more > slowly. I thought that perhaps this was a stage they were going through, > but your > comments make me think maybe education is what they need. Thanks. > Karina > > DSLCM@aol.com wrote: > > > Dear Sister, > > We have a 17 year old Laurel pregnant. It has been (as YW pres) one of > the > > hardest things I've had to dealt with. What she is going to do is still > up in > > the air, but really "blew me away" was when she said to me that she had > talked > > to the bishop, he was having her read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by > Kimball, > > and he (bishop) was actually talking like she should feel GUILTY or > > something?! CAn you believe that? Just then, I realized that we teach > until > > we're blue in the face not to date until you're 15, never be in a car > along > > with a man, don't let a guy unbutton your blouse, etc. etc. etc., but do > we > > actually talk about the seiousness of the SIN? WE haven't here. WE > brush > > over ("go to the bishop: "you can be forgiven") BUT>>>>> > > we haven't discussed the seriousness of the sin.. That's where I fell I > went > > wrong and will change my course of direction. > > > > I also heard when I saw the SS film that it WAS NOT for the general YW > > population. AND > > according the the First Presidency message, girls should NOT be keeping > their > > babies and living with parents. They should be getting married, or > adopting > > out. > > Good luck in this very difficult situation. > > Shellie > > > > - > > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. > > > > > - > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 08:49:34 -0500 From: giguiere@juno.com (Jamie & Jeff Giguiere) Subject: Re: (lds-yw) what to obtain before marriage "Then we're just going to have fun and play the candy bar activity that was sent a month ago, where they pick a candy bar which represents a certain kind of man = to marry. " I missed this activity, can someone post what it is? As to other ideas for your box, how about something for musical talents-good music is always nice in the home. Even without musical talent just picking out good music is a talent! A CD might be good. And something for education-a pocket size dictionary or thesaurus might work. Also important is patience-maybe a small timer from a game, or egg time. I was thinking maybe waiting before reacting or when angry to calm down. Also good might be a package of flower seeds--saying that these traits will need to be tended to, just like a seed, and when the time is right they will bloom but they will be worth waiting for--or something like that? That doesn't sound quite right, but I bet you could work out the words. Someone said when we pick out a mate we always pick our match, and from my experience that is true! So we need to practice the same things we would like our partner to practice. Maybe a set of matching cards for that. Just some ideas off the top of my head-hope there is something you like and can use. Jamie in Texas _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 10:29:01 EDT From: Subject: Re: (lds-yw) What To Do? In a message dated 98-07-16 14:31:23 EDT, you write: << It should be talked about YEARS before Beehives at home. We should be talking about this often in FHE. We talk about the Word of Wisdom, we talk about being honest, we talk about EVERYTHING!! What will mess up their lives for a LONG LONG time, ( if not for life) more than their choice to NOT stay morally clean? We got to get over the embarrassment and get talking. Kay >> I agree. There is an old saying "Begin with the end in mind." If we don't start when they are younger, then we are not truely preparing them to meet lifes challenges. I also agree with another post, that sometimes you just can't change the minds of some of these girls, especially the older ones. Many girls at this age, "Know-it-All." Some will have to face the hard realities of their choices, and that is part of the plan. We need to teach and encourage better behavior, and not be embarrassed or uncomfortable in teaching the facts and consequences of premartial sex, drugs and alcohol. The choice is untimately theirs and nothing can change that. I was watching Liza one day, and they had a panel of young women who had had babies while in High School. Everyone of them said they wouldn't trade their baby for the world, but wouldn't recommend this to anyone. All the boyfriends left, maybe there was one that stayed, but most skipped out on "their" responsibiblty. Liza had a young lady keep a baby for the weekend. This baby was programmed to cry and wouldn't stop until it was comforted. the baby was given to them for this expeience from a crisis center in California. I thought wow, what a great way for this girl to get a small glimpse into early motherhood. We can all only do our best, and the rest is up to each YW. My daughter came home from YM after "Standards Night" and said something to me that I never thought of. She said that one of the leaders gave them an example of how a "kiss" feels to a girl and how a "kiss" feels to a boy. A kiss to a girl feels all "soft and gentle" but to a boy it feel like a "lighted match." I'm sure this is true. It put a different light on things for me. We women and men are so different, so maybe we need to teach our YW that also. What we may feel is totally different than what a boy/man would feel. Best of luck to all you wonderful leaders out there that have this awesome responsibilty. May the Lord bless each of you for your efforts. Karla (A thankful Mom of a YW) L1011Jet@aol.com - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 07:59:58 -0700 From: kofstar@juno.com (Mr. and Mrs. Koford) Subject: Re: (lds-yw) Leaders sleeping with youth in tents Yes, I really called the GENERAL YOUNG WOMEN'S PRESIDENCY in June of 1998. I didn't want to believe what someone had told me about the "leaders & youth tents" Isn't it so sad that we have to even think about such things. On Thu, 16 Jul 1998 15:46:01 -0400 Karina Tonn writes: >Are you saying you talked to the General Young Women's Presidency? >I've >scoured every handbook we have and could find nothing specific on >this. Is >there a new manual we can get? Thanks, Karina > >Mr. and Mrs. Koford wrote: > >> I love being with the young women always and this year I really >wanted to >> be in the tent with them but when I read on this site about no >leaders in >> the tents I called the General Young Women Board. I was put right >> through to the Presidency. They said No Leaders in the tents >unless >> there is a young woman we don't trust, then two Adult leaders should >be >> in that tent. For the past three years we have had our Youth >leaders in >> charge of the various tents. They have been wonderful!!! They have >even >> gotten the Young Women to go to sleep earlier than if I had been in >the >> tent. We loved being with the YW so much that we played night >games, >> and sang, and roasted marshmallows for as long as we could before >the YW >> went to their tents. >> >> On Sun, 28 Jun 1998 12:15:40 -0600 "Charmaine L. Peck" >> writes: >> >I think I posted this before, but I had heard this from a ward >leader >> >and >> >asked my Stake President about it. He said it only applied to the >> >scouts, >> >not to the Young Women. >> > >> >Charee Peck, Stake YW President, South Salt Lake Stake >> >serryp@burgoyne.com >> > >> >-----Original Message----- >> >From: Lyndees@aol.com >> >To: lds-yw@lists.xmission.com >> >Date: Sunday, June 28, 1998 12:39 AM >> >Subject: Re: (lds-yw) STAKE YOUTH CONFERENCE AND TREATS >> > >> > >> >>I know this is a late reply, but I just got back from Vegas and >had a >> >week's >> >>worth of e-mail to read. As for the 'rule' about leaders not >> >sleeping in >> >the >> >>same room/tent as the youth, I was told this rule a couple of >years >> >ago, >> >and I >> >>had a hard time with it too. It was explained to me that it was >to >> >avoid >> >the >> >>potential for problems that have occured in the past involving >> >leaders >> >>sexually or otherwise abusing the youth. Most of us would never >> >consider >> >>anything like that but I suppose they would rather be safe than >> >sorry. >> >> >> >>Linda - Post Falls, ID >> >> >> >>- >> >> To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to >"majordomo@xmission.com" >> >> with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. >> >> For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages >send >> >> "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. >> >> >> > >> > >> >- >> > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to >"majordomo@xmission.com" >> > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. >> > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages >send >> > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. >> > >> >> >_____________________________________________________________________ >> You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. >> Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com >> Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] >> >> - >> To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" >> with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. >> For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages >send >> "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. > > > > >- > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. > _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 11:01:47 -0600 From: Karrie Manville Subject: Re: (lds-yw) What to do? Warning! I have been reading all of your posts concerning the unwed mother perspective and I know your feelings are for love and concern for these young women, but it also borders on sounding judgemental. The thing I would worry about is if this comes across that way to the young women it could scare them away from the church. I personally had a different situation then most and realize the concern you have and I would suggest you let them see that and your support in their decision. Karrie To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 11:26:04 -0600 From: "The Summers" Subject: Re: (lds-yw) Camp Crafts This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - ------=_NextPart_000_004B_01BDB175.AF3DE100 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable You might use old magazines and you cut them into triangles and make = beads by rolling from the large end to the point and then glue. Roll = them around a toothpick. Then make necklaces out of them. The = different sheets make neat patterns. Have them create a doll using only the things found in nature.=20 If the YW have paints in their closet borrow them and paint pop cans or = paint rocks. you could make kites out of paper bags and fly them. Check with your cub scout leaders, they have to do crafts cheap all the = time =20 - -----Original Message----- From: Rob & Ali To: Young Women List Date: Thursday, July 16, 1998 1:49 PM Subject: (lds-yw) Camp Crafts =20 =20 Here's a question for all of you: =20 What do you do for camp crafts when you don't know the amount of = your budget? Camp is in a couple of weeks, but I am going out of town = until right before camp. So, I am trying to get it all together before = tomorrow. =20 We did a fund-raiser, but I don't know how much we made. I don't = think it was enough to cover the cost of the registration fees. The = Bishop says we're not allowed to solicit money from the parents, so, I = have been thinking about doing the hammering flowers (no cost), and = taking card games that aren't face cards. =20 =20 Does anyone else have any ideas for little to no cost time fillers? =20 I couldn't find any soap flakes. I haven't given up looking, but it = doesn't seem this small town has them. :( I don't know if buying = individual bars would cost that much more. I need to do some more = research! =20 Thanks for your help. =20 Ali =20 =20 =20 - ------=_NextPart_000_004B_01BDB175.AF3DE100 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
You might use old magazines and you = cut them=20 into triangles and make beads by rolling from the large end to the point = and=20 then glue.  Roll them around a toothpick.  Then make necklaces = out of=20 them.  The different sheets make neat patterns.
 
Have them create a doll using only the things found = in nature.=20
 
If the YW have paints in their closet borrow them = and paint=20 pop cans or paint rocks.
 
you could make kites out of paper bags and fly=20 them.
 
Check with your cub scout leaders,  they have = to do=20 crafts cheap all the time   
-----Original = Message-----
From:=20 Rob & Ali <robnali@televar.com>
To:= =20 Young Women List <lds-yw@lists.xmission.com&g= t;
Date:=20 Thursday, July 16, 1998 1:49 PM
Subject: (lds-yw) Camp = Crafts

Here's a question for all of=20 you:
 
What do you do for camp crafts when you don't = know the=20 amount of your budget?  Camp is in a couple of weeks, but I am = going=20 out of town until right before camp.  So, I am trying to get it = all=20 together before tomorrow.
 
We did a fund-raiser, but I don't know how much = we=20 made.  I don't think it was enough to cover the cost of the=20 registration fees.  The Bishop says we're not allowed to = solicit money=20 from the parents, so, I have been thinking about doing the hammering = flowers=20 (no cost), and taking card games that aren't face cards.  =
 
Does anyone else have any ideas for little to no = cost time=20 fillers?
 
I couldn't find any soap = flakes.  I=20 haven't given up looking, but it doesn't seem this small town has=20 them.  :(  I don't know if buying individual bars would = cost that=20 much more.  I need to do some more research!
 
Thanks for your = help.
 
Ali
 
 
 
- ------=_NextPart_000_004B_01BDB175.AF3DE100-- - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 13:53:00 -0400 From: Karina Tonn Subject: (lds-yw) Camp craft In girl scouts, we always lashed tables between two trees using sticks we found around the site. We returned the sticks where we found them when camp was over. Has anyone suggested making a prayer rock? Another thing you could do is use leaves and other things you find in nature to do rubbings, and the girls could use the paper for stationary to write letters of appreciation to parents or to secret sisters, etc. Instead of swatting flies and mosquitos, etc., you could collect and observe them or jar them up in alcohol, label the Date, Camp site, County, and State, and Who Collected and send them to Dr. Richard Baumann, Monte L. Bean Museum, BYU, Provo, UT 84602 for scientific research. - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 14:09:01 -0400 From: Karina Tonn Subject: Re: (lds-yw) Re: Lack of guilt Good points, I guess what I meant was that youth need spiritual education, or rather spiritual guidance. When I first joined the Church, we didn't have the FSY booklet, and my yw leaders were afraid to tell me that some of the things I was doing were wrong. They were afraid they would offend me and I would go inactive. This lack of spiritual education was a stumbling block for me. But you are right, our youth know most of the rules (and what the consequences are to some degree) and that knowledge alone doesn't make them choose the right. You are so right that they need to be guided via spiritual experiences. When I was a yw, we seemed to have a lot of motivational speakers and activities on the stake level that helped me gain a desire to do what they taught. It was like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert whenever I attended stake activities. Karina Ricki Edwards wrote: > I feel it is not education. I would like to remove some 'education' from my > mind forever. They 'know' more than we think. Sometimes education just puts > it on their minds, rebellion is a natural (though needs curbed or directed) > part of teens. What they need is to 'feel the spirit' and to 'desire' to > not loose that feeling. Spiritual experiences and feelings are the only > real deterent to no shame or poor choices. Ricki > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Karina Tonn [SMTP:ktonn@geocities.com] > > Sent: Friday, July 17, 1998 7:43 AM > > To: lds-yw@lists.xmission.com > > Subject: (lds-yw) Re: Lack of guilt > > > > Many of our youth have no shame. We were talking about keeping baptismal > > covenants, and I asked them if they thought going to a drinking party was > > okay. > > "Are you asking should we go, or would we go, because we shouldn't, but I > > would do > > it anyway." "You can't not have a social life." "Yeah, if we didn't go > > to > > drinking parties, then we wouldn't go to any at all." Then the youth > > boasted how > > great they were for not being hypocritical in that they admit they will > > make bad > > choices instead of pretending to be good. So, last week, I had a talk > > with my > > young woman about if she does something bad and doesn't feel badly about > > that, it > > is no reason to be proud. She told me that she does feel badly about > > things she > > does wrong (she doesn't go to drinking parties--she is really very > > righteous), > > although there was a time when she had no guilt about anything. I was > > very > > relieved by her spiritual maturity. Some of our ym, however, are maturing > > more > > slowly. I thought that perhaps this was a stage they were going through, > > but your > > comments make me think maybe education is what they need. Thanks. > > Karina > > > > DSLCM@aol.com wrote: > > > > > Dear Sister, > > > We have a 17 year old Laurel pregnant. It has been (as YW pres) one of > > the > > > hardest things I've had to dealt with. What she is going to do is still > > up in > > > the air, but really "blew me away" was when she said to me that she had > > talked > > > to the bishop, he was having her read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by > > Kimball, > > > and he (bishop) was actually talking like she should feel GUILTY or > > > something?! CAn you believe that? Just then, I realized that we teach > > until > > > we're blue in the face not to date until you're 15, never be in a car > > along > > > with a man, don't let a guy unbutton your blouse, etc. etc. etc., but do > > we > > > actually talk about the seiousness of the SIN? WE haven't here. WE > > brush > > > over ("go to the bishop: "you can be forgiven") BUT>>>>> > > > we haven't discussed the seriousness of the sin.. That's where I fell I > > went > > > wrong and will change my course of direction. > > > > > > I also heard when I saw the SS film that it WAS NOT for the general YW > > > population. AND > > > according the the First Presidency message, girls should NOT be keeping > > their > > > babies and living with parents. They should be getting married, or > > adopting > > > out. > > > Good luck in this very difficult situation. > > > Shellie > > > > > > - > > > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > > > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > > > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > > > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. > > > > > > > > > > - > > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. > > - > To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" > with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. > For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send > "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1998 14:30:55 EDT From: vanroosm01@juno.com (M. Anderson) Subject: (lds-yw) Re: Candy Bar activity On Fri, 17 Jul 1998 08:49:34 -0500 giguiere@juno.com (Jamie & Jeff Giguiere) writes: >"Then we're just going to have fun and play the candy bar activity >that was sent a month ago, where they pick a candy bar which >represents a certain kind of man to marry. " > > I missed this activity, can someone post what it is? ***Here it is! Mary-Ann mailto:vanroosm01@juno.com What Kind of Man Do You Want to Marry? (Candy Bar Activity) Have each girl choose a candy bar when she arrives, but don't let her eat it until later (See list below. If you have more than 19 girls, have two of each kind or make up your own). Then describe what kind of man each candy bar symbolizes. Describe attitudes toward work, family, womanhood, motherhood, the Church, honoring the Priesthood, children, etc. After discussing every candy bar man, explain that choosing which man to marry should be done with much more thought than choosing a candy bar. Gather suggestions from the girls or hand out lists of things the girls might consider looking for in a husband. Pass out stationary so each girl can make a list of qualities she's looking for in her future husband. Remind the girls that it isn't enough just to marry a nice guy, or just a member, or just a returned missionary, or just to get married in the temple. They should make sure that the man they marry is going to be strong and active in the Church and that he has a testimony. Getting married to a man only because he is handsome, strong, athletic, rich, a good dancer, a good kisser, funny, or well-educated is not enough. Though it is nice to have those things, it is more important that you share the same goals and values. Discuss with the girls that they aren't the only ones choosing a spouse. The young men they are looking at are also looking at them. If they want a solid member of the Church, a returned missionary, a smart, fun, optimistic, creative person to marry, they must make themselves attractive to that type of person by being or doing those things themselves. Be careful as you present each candy bar man that you don't imply that the girl chose or will choose that kind of man just because she chose that candy bar. Be sensitive to how each man is presented. Some girl's father may match one of them. Explain that each girl needs to be wise, think about what she really wants, discuss her choice with family and good friends, and pray to Heavenly Father for guidance when making this crucial decision. She should pick the best man for her. Have candy bars for refreshments. Decorate with question marks, wedding decorations, bells, doves, netting and lights wrapped together, or pictures of temples, etc. **Candy Bar Men** Disclaimer: These candy bar men have a hodge-podge of characteristics that I have seen or heard about. These men are not designed to match any real individual, living or dead, and should not be taken as such. These candy bar men are designed to show how each person is a mixture of good and bad traits and to help girls decide which traits they want and which ones they don't. Oh Henry!--He's nice, honest, but forgetful. He prefers to watch TV rather than have Family Home Evening. He's not very committed to the Church. If he stays up late on Saturday, he doesn't mind missing Church, but he will go at least half of the time and take the kids to activities and chaperon dances. He married you in the temple, but you haven't been there together in several years. SNICKERS--Anytime you talk about the Church, he makes wisecracks about Joseph Smith or things that are hard for him to believe. He's never read the Book of Mormon. He is a good provider. He is a great kisser. He likes to tell jokes which are pretty funny unless they're about the Church. He's great with kids and your kids adore him, but they're adopting his attitude about the Church. You had a beautiful wedding in a garden. You hoped he'd join the Church because he played basketball with the missionaries on their P-day, but now you think that maybe it was just because he liked basketball. Idaho Spud--He's been a member all of his life and all of his family are members. He's a hard, honest worker. He's got a strong and simple faith in the Gospel. He's not a terrific dancer, but he honors his priesthood and can give your children blessings when they're sick. He's baptized all of your children so far. He went on a mission and married you in the temple. Now he's balding a little bit, has a pooch, and needs glasses, but he's trustworthy and respectful. MARS Bar--He's a rocket scientist, really. He loves physics and math. He's also kind of a nut. He's got a quirky sense of humor that not everyone understands, but you like it. He likes camping with the Cub Scouts and loves to design Pinewood Derby cars. He also teaches Gospel Doctrine and seems to know everything about Church History. He has to work late on Friday nights sometimes, but he always makes it up to you. You married in the temple and attend about every other month. Chuckles--This guy wasn't the cutest guy you dated, but he was the most fun. He never took you out to just a dinner and a movie. He was too creative for that. He proposed to you when you were eating a candlelight dinner on a road median. You found the ring underneath your Washington D.C. temple-shaped strawberry shortcake (where you later married--in the temple, not the cake). He even brought along some ring cleaner so it wouldn't be sticky when he slipped it on your finger. He says he wants 15 kids. You joke with him that you'll have the first eight and he can have the rest. He fun to tease and joke around with. He giggles if you make him laugh really hard. You're not rich, but you get by on his salary. m & m (More and More)--This guy is very ambitious. He goes to work at 7 am and comes home at 9 pm. Sometimes he works seven days a week, even if he doesn't have to. He even brings his work along on family vacations. You never date anymore. He's too tired and busy for that. You are fairly well off and you have a nice house, but you'd rather that he spent more time with you and the kids. What really breaks your heart is that your children ask, "When is daddy coming back?" You got married in the temple, but you wonder if he remembers what that means, since he doesn't seem to value his family here on earth. Mamba--this guy was on the BYU ballroom dance team and is a terrific dancer. You go dancing every week. He likes having group parties at your house. He is spontaneous and fun. Sometimes he surprises you by bringing home people for dinner without giving much warning, if any. He is a great father and takes his kids on outings with Dad once a month or so. He isn't that great at paying bills, going grocery shopping, or balancing the checkbook, so you learned to do that. He has a sincere testimony of the Gospel and you got married in the temple. Granola Bar--This guy loves health food. He's in great shape. He avoids refined sugar, white flour, and exercises daily. He cares about the environment and wears a Save the Whales T-shirt frequently. He loves to learn. He's a little unconventional, but he's very nice. Many of your family activities are athletic ones. You ride bikes and bring your own cloth grocery bags when you shop. He has a testimony of the Book of Mormon and loves doing missionary work. You married in the temple. Charleston Chew--This guy loves the night club scene. That was fun when you were dating, but now you wish he'd also take on responsibilities for taking care of the house, the kids, etc. He was a member of the Church when you met, but he had a small Word of Wisdom problem, chewing tobacco. You thought he would quit after you got married, but now he drinks, too. Because of that, he feels uncomfortable going to church. It looks like you'll never get to the temple. Skittles--This guy is very handsome and romantic, but not a member. He thought marriage was "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Now that he sees that marriage is also a lot of hard work, he doesn't seem interested. He talks about being single again. He doesn't want kids and thinks that you, as a woman, should do all of the work in the house, on the relationship, and everything. He figures, "Hey, I'm earning the money around here!" Mr. Goodbar--This guy is sweet, handsome, and strong. He is a returned missionary and loves learning about the Gospel. He has very bad vision and already has the extra large print scriptures (the High Priest Version). Without his glasses, he can only make out big, fuzzy, colored blobs around him. He loves children and respects motherhood. He hasn't decided on what he wants to do with his career yet, but he's a hard worker and you're getting by. You got married in the temple. 100 Grand--This guy grew up in a very affluent home. He has a lot of earning potential, but he's not earning much right now. The problem is, he's used to a more affluent style of living and is having a hard time staying within your means. He has a testimony of the Church, but he decided that it was more important to graduate from college than to go on a mission. He took you to the temple. 5TH AVENUE--This guy inherited a lot of money from a rich uncle. He is not a member, but is very charming and handsome. You figured that since he was such a nice guy, he was sure to join the Church. He lets you go to Church and supports you in your callings, but he rarely goes himself. His social circle has lots of parties where they drink champagne. He drinks and suggests that once or twice wouldn't really hurt you, but he isn't pushy. Most of the other women there don't have children or have only one or two. They wonder what you do with yourself all day with 5 children and no nanny. Big Hunk--This guy was a quarterback at your college. He joined the Church while he was there. You introduced yourself to him on his first Sunday in the student ward. He was good looking and buff. You got married before he had been a member for a year and you are anxiously preparing to go to the temple together. It's hard for him to go to Church every Sunday since now he's playing in the NFL. He works a lot of Sundays and Mondays, but he still manages to get to sacrament meeting most of the time and he reads his scriptures a lot on Sundays. He tells you that when he retires from the game, he'll do charity work and have Sundays off. You're well off and he doesn't mind paying tithing even though it is a huge chunk of money. He loves kids and is so excited that you're expecting a baby soon. SKOR--This guy is very handsome and cool. He loves sports, especially soccer. He hopes to own a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop one day. He was a big flirt when you were dating and was physically affectionate with lots of girls. Though he was always morally clean, you still wished that he had saved his kisses and other forms of physical affection for you. He served an honorable mission and took you to the temple. ZERO--This guy never studied in school and barely graduated. His idea of a good job is working at McDonald's during a non-lunch or dinner rush shift. He doesn't know what to do with his life and he doesn't really care. He spends his time hanging out with a few friends, laughing at old jokes, and watching people. He is a member, but rarely goes. He likes to sing and he could be good looking if he took better care of himself. He wrote romantic things to you in letters and you thought that they were all true. You felt sure that if you could just influence him for good, he could turn his life around. Unfortunately, you married him before he turned it around and he still hasn't changed. Milky Way--This guy has spectacular dreams. He wants to be a movie star. He wants to be unbelievably rich and tremendously famous. He wants to own a huge, richly decorated home. He also sees himself as a very successful player in the NBA, or maybe in the NFL. Self-esteem is not one of his weaknesses. However, he lacks a plan which would help him reach is dreams, so they are merely fantasies, not real goals. His reality is that he hasn't even graduated from college or a vocational school, though he has attended college for 10 years. You married him, believing in him and his dreams, but as it is now, you're still living the poor student life. If it weren't for your job, you wouldn't have any money at all. He's a great father and very smart and funny. He's just not focused on fulfilling his dreams. Lifesavers--This man is a lifeguard. He has a great body, a great tan, a great smile, and a helpful personality. He also is a wonderful home teacher and missionary. He has shared the Gospel with many of his friends. So far, 30 have joined the Church. He has a very strong testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel and it is visible in everything he does. You met him when you were out dancing with your friends. He saw that you weren't having much fun dancing with the man who kept asking you to dance, and realized you were too nice to tell him no. So he stepped in and asked you for the next slow song. You had a lot in common and felt totally comfortable with each other, in an exciting sort of way. When you returned to your friends, you were almost out of breath and deliriously happy. You exchanged phone numbers, dated for 8 months, met each other's families and got engaged. Of course, you got married in your favorite temple. Four children later, you are still madly in love and very happy. Hot Tamales--This guy was voted "most attractive man" his senior year of high school. He knows he's good looking and considers himself a valuable commodity. However, once you get to know him, he can be down to earth and fun. He joined the Church when he was seventeen and none of his family are members. He's a great dancer and singer. He is reserving his kisses for engagement at least. He wants to be an electrical engineer when he grows up, but right now he's a waiter, putting himself through school. He is trying to avoid school-debt, but it looks like he'll take out at least $5,000 in student loans next semester. He had to cut down on his hours at work so he'd have time to study. He thinks womanhood is very sacred and is excited about being a daddy. He wants to learn how to play the piano. Right now, all he can play is "Heart and Soul." You got married in the temple. You live near his parents, who like the family over for Sunday dinner during Church time. It's a tough balancing act. These candies would also work well: Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby, Nerds, Sweetarts, Almond Joy, Mounds, etc. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We did it a little different, we had the girls come in and take a candy bar, a piece of paper and a pen. We first had them each write 20 things that they wanted in the man they marry. Then we had some of them share their "priorities". Some were hilarious! Then the leaders took a few minutes to talk about being the kind of person you want to marry and how some of the things on their lists would move down the list as they got older. Then we had the class presidency take turns reading the candy bar descriptions. We spent the whole time laughing! - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] - - To unsubscribe to lds-yw, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe lds-yw" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message. ------------------------------ End of lds-yw-digest V1 #194 **************************** - To unsubscribe to $LIST, send an email to "majordomo@xmission.com" with "unsubscribe $LIST" in the body of the message. For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send "help" to the same address. Do not use quotes in your message.