From: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com (movies-digest) To: movies-digest@lists.xmission.com Subject: movies-digest V2 #107 Reply-To: movies-digest Sender: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com Errors-To: owner-movies-digest@lists.xmission.com Precedence: bulk movies-digest Sunday, October 4 1998 Volume 02 : Number 107 RE: [MV] Silly punch up question RE: [MV] Silly punch up question [MV] Coming Monday, 10.05, to The Flick Filosopher... [MV] Jeff Goldblum LIVE with Cranky! RE: [MV] Silly punch up question Re: [MV] Silly punch up question [MV] REVIEW: PERMANENT MIDNIGHT Re: [MV] Silly punch up question [MV] Film Threat Weekly : 10-5-98 : Slate II, Take 41 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1998 15:45:26 -0700 From: "Romero, Leticia" Subject: RE: [MV] Silly punch up question better yet, is there a unintentionally FUNNIER fight scene than the one in "They Live"? > -----Original Message----- > From: Gerry Taylor [SMTP:geeg@vossnet.co.uk] > Sent: Friday, October 02, 1998 3:40 PM > To: movies@lists.xmission.com > Subject: [MV] Silly punch up question > >   > ~Is there any film that has a longer fight scene than the one in "They > live"? > Gerry T > ~~~~~ > I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self > contained, > I stand and look at them long and long. > They do not sweat and whine about their condition, > They do not lie awake and weep for their sins, > they do not make me sick discussing their duty to God, > not one is dissatisfied, not one demented with the mania of owning things, > Not one kneels to another nor to his own kind that lived thousands of > years ago, > not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth. >                                                                Walt > Whitman. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1998 15:59:10 -0700 (PDT) From: Christina Stanley Subject: RE: [MV] Silly punch up question On Fri, 2 Oct 1998, Romero, Leticia wrote: > better yet, is there a unintentionally FUNNIER fight scene than the one in > "They Live"? I wouldn't say it's unintentional. This is an allaround great picture, and it's got lots of that tongue in cheek sound bite dialogue. christina ______________________________________________________________ cristina@blarg.net The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing..if you can fake that, you've got it made. Groucho Marx [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: 3 Oct 1998 02:42:40 -0000 From: The Flick Filosopher's Coming Attractions Subject: [MV] Coming Monday, 10.05, to The Flick Filosopher... The Flick Filosopher's Coming Attractions - http://www.flickfilosopher.com/flickfilos Heaven: Found the man of my dreams. Hell: He's married. Heaven: Made final payment on my car. Hell: Irrational fear that it'll now be crushed by a garbage truck as it's parked innocently in the street. Heaven: Purchased Monster Mac 2500. Hell: Five minutes later, Monster Mac 5000 released at half the price. Heaven: *King of the Hill* did not move to Los Angeles as threatened. Hell: It did move to Tuesday night. Heaven: Ralph Fiennes in *The English Patient.* Hell: Ralph Fiennes in *Schindler's List.* Heaven: That almost-kiss in *The X-Files* movie. Hell: That almost-kiss in *The X-Files* movie. Heaven and Hell: *What Dreams May Come* and *The Devil's Advocate.* ===================== A new Flick Filosopher goodie: FRIDGE MAGNETS! Can you live without one a moment longer? I think not! Check 'em out on Monday at http://www.flickfilosopher.com/flickfilos/goodies.html ===================== MaryAnn ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to FlickFilosopher-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/ [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: 3 Oct 1998 02:05:19 -0000 From: Cranky Critic Subject: [MV] Jeff Goldblum LIVE with Cranky! Cranky Critic - http://www.crankycritic.com You're receiving this mail as part of the CrankyCritic.com mailing list. Join Cranky as Jeff Goldblum speaks to you LIVE on the Internet! Jeff Goldblum, star of three of the biggest movies of all time (Jurassic Park, The Lost World:Jurassic Park and Independence Day) chats live from Internet World in New York City on Entertainment Drive. Join us on Wednesday, October 7 at 12:30 pm ET in the chat auditorium of Entertainment Drive (www.edrive.com). Ask Jeff about his new movies "Holy Man" and "The Prince of Egypt," plus the upcoming re-release of "The Big Chill" and any other questions you want to know the answer to. Can't be there live? You can submit questions ahead of time by entering the Entertainment Drive chat auditorium (www.edrive.com/community) and clicking on the question mark icon, or type "/ask" (no quotation marks) followed by your question. Or, you can e-mail your questions to Cranky (cranky@crankycritic.com), who will be moderating the event. A full transcript will be available after the event on Entertainment Drive. See you there! chuck Schwartz www.CrankyCritic.com ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to crankycritic-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/ [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 2 Oct 1998 23:31:17 -0500 From: "Mr. White" Subject: RE: [MV] Silly punch up question This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - ------=_NextPart_000_0013_01BDEE5C.C1394600 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_0014_01BDEE5C.C14A0EE0" - ------=_NextPart_001_0014_01BDEE5C.C14A0EE0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Straw Dogs"? Richard J. Doyle Access & Visual Basic Developer CRW Systems rdoyle29@msn.com -----Original Message----- From: owner-movies@lists.xmission.com [mailto:owner-movies@lists.xmission.com]On Behalf Of Gerry Taylor Sent: Friday, October 02, 1998 5:40 PM To: movies@lists.xmission.com Subject: [MV] Silly punch up question ~Is there any film that has a longer fight scene than the one in "They live"? Gerry T ~~~~~ I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self contained, I stand and look at them long and long. They do not sweat and whine about their condition, They do not lie awake and weep for their sins, they do not make me sick discussing their duty to God, not one is dissatisfied, not one demented with the mania of owning things, Not one kneels to another nor to his own kind that lived thousands of years ago, not one is respectable or unhappy over the whole earth. Walt Whitman. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - ------=_NextPart_001_0014_01BDEE5C.C14A0EE0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
"Straw Dogs"?
 
Richard J. = Doyle
Access & Visual = Basic=20 Developer
CRW = Systems
rdoyle29@msn.com
 
-----Original Message-----
From:=20 owner-movies@lists.xmission.com=20 [mailto:owner-movies@lists.xmission.com]On Behalf Of Gerry=20 Taylor
Sent: Friday, October 02, 1998 5:40 = PM
To:=20 movies@lists.xmission.com
Subject: [MV] Silly punch up=20 question

 
~Is there = any film that=20 has a longer fight scene than the one in "They=20 live"?
Gerry T
~~~~~
I think I could = turn and=20 live with animals, they are so placid and self contained,
I stand = and=20 look at them long and long.
They do not sweat and whine about = their=20 condition,
They do not lie awake and weep for their sins,
they = do not=20 make me sick discussing their duty to God,
not one is = dissatisfied, not=20 one demented with the mania of owning things,
Not one kneels to = another=20 nor to his own kind that lived thousands of years ago,
not one is = respectable or unhappy over the whole=20 = earth.
          &nb= sp;           &nbs= p;            = ;            =             &= nbsp;  =20 Walt=20 Whitman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- ------=_NextPart_001_0014_01BDEE5C.C14A0EE0-- - ------=_NextPart_000_0013_01BDEE5C.C1394600 Content-Type: application/vcard; name="Richard J Doyle.vcf" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="Richard J Doyle.vcf" BEGIN:VCARD VERSION:2.1 N:Doyle;Richard;J FN:Richard J Doyle ORG:CRW Systems MB Inc. TITLE:Software Developer TEL;WORK;VOICE:(204) 889-9537 TEL;HOME;VOICE:(204) 774-8550 TEL;WORK;FAX:(204) 889-6934 ADR;WORK:;;204 - 3011 Portage Avenue;Winnipeg;Manitoba;R3G 1A1;Canada LABEL;WORK;ENCODING=3DQUOTED-PRINTABLE:204 - 3011 Portage = Avenue=3D0D=3D0AWinnipeg, Manitoba R3G 1A1=3D0D=3D0ACanada ADR;HOME:;;42 Purcell Avenue;Winnipeg;Manitoba;R3G 1A1;Canada LABEL;HOME;ENCODING=3DQUOTED-PRINTABLE:42 Purcell = Avenue=3D0D=3D0AWinnipeg, Manitoba R3G 1A1=3D0D=3D0ACanada URL:http://members.tripod.com/~Doyle_R/index.htm URL:http://www.escape.ca/~chrisw/ EMAIL;PREF;INTERNET:rdoyle29@msn.com REV:19980831T025758Z END:VCARD - ------=_NextPart_000_0013_01BDEE5C.C1394600-- [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 3 Oct 98 16:02:08 +0100 From: Garrett Winters Subject: Re: [MV] Silly punch up question Gerry Taylor asks >~Is there any film that has a longer fight scene than the one in "They live"? a better question would be is there a movie that has a less relevant fight scene? I enjoyed they live for the most part but that fight scene left me feeling like it was a TV show that had to pad out a few extra minutes to fill the hour. In real life a fight like that would have left both participants in need of medical attention and each time I watch it I get annoyed that they don't cop on to themselves quicker :) Garrett [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1998 14:19:48 -0600 (MDT) From: Scott Renshaw Subject: [MV] REVIEW: PERMANENT MIDNIGHT PERMANENT MIDNIGHT (Artisan) Starring: Ben Stiller, Elizabeth Hurley, Maria Bello, Owen Wilson, Peter Greene. Screenplay: David Veloz, based on the memoir by Jerry Stahl. Producers: Jane Hamsher and Don Murphy. Director: David Veloz. MPAA Rating: R (drug use, sexual situations, profanity, brief nudity) Running Time: 87 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw. In the last few minutes of PERMANENT MIDNIGHT, writer/director David Veloz introduces a jarring element of irony to what had been a fairly straightforward dark night of the soul drama. It's the true story of Jerry Stahl (Ben Stiller), a successful television writer during the 1980s for such programs as "ALF" and "thirtysomething" who bottomed out as the result of heroin and cocaine addiction. The film's coda shows Stiller-as-Stahl, having written his confessional autobiography, appearing on a series of television talk shows to promote the book and bare his soul. In one of the film's best lines, Stahl explains in voice-over that the most humiliating thing he ever did as the result of his addiction was "appearing on 'Maury'." A good gag, but also a pretty self-serving one. In an era when celebrity mea culpas are just another part of the public relations landscape, a film like PERMANENT MIDNIGHT has to work extra hard to function as an honest cautionary tale rather than a plea to love me, feel sorry for me, let me back into your hearts. The film makes sure we know about Stahl's troubled family life, including two suicidal parents, which already suggests that Stahl and/or writer/director David Veloz is pointing fingers outward as much as inward. That five minute montage of chat show appearances, however, acts almost as a slap in the face. Watching the character pitch his book -- which, of course, became the movie we're watching -- takes every harrowing moment which preceded and makes it cheap and exploitative. Instead of learning from his experience, we learn that a really good salesman can turn his tragedy into dollars. That's truly a shame, because Stahl's story is given a harrowing conviction by Ben Stiller's performance. Though best known as a comic in films like the hit THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, Stiller is a versatile performer who makes heroin addiction about as ugly as we've ever seen it. It's funny yet pathetic watching Stahl trying with a ridiculous lack of success to disguise his stupors as artistic eccentricity; even other self-absorbed Hollywood types instantly recognize that he's utterly useless. What's fascinating about Stiller's performance is that there's never a moment when his character appears to be functional as an addict. He disappears instantly into a world of excuses and frantic searches for his next high. Unfortunately, there's nothing besides Stiller's performance to make us care about PERMANENT MIDNIGHT. The two romantic angles which are supposed to give resonance to the story -- Stahl's marriage to a mid-level television executive (Elizabeth Hurley) and his post-rehab infatuation with fellow recovering addict Kitty (Maria Bello) -- are both undercut by the circumstances of their relationships. The marriage, though it produces a child, is primarily a way for his British wife to get a green card, and the romance with Kitty serves primarily as a device for Stahl to tell his story in flashback. There's not much at stake as we watch Stahl disintegrate, nor is there a particular reason to care if he's earned his second chance at love. He's just another cleaned-up Hollywood junk-head with a tale to tell, probably one of a thousand. The last five minutes of PERMANENT MIDNIGHT are as ill-conceived as any five minutes of film this year, because they make it look like Stahl is just a different kind of self-absorbed now. You're left with the uncomfortable feeling that for him, addiction is just a marketing hook. On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 junk men: 5. - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Visit Scott Renshaw's MoviePage http://www.inconnect.com/~renshaw/ *** Subscribe to receive new reviews directly by email! See the MoviePage for details, or reply to this message with subject line "Subscribe". - -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1998 00:25:25 -0700 From: "Wade Snider" Subject: Re: [MV] Silly punch up question Or better yet, is there any film that has a longer fart scene than Blazing Saddles? Gerry Taylor asks >~Is there any film that has a longer fight scene than the one in "They live"? Wade s. [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ] [ movies (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ] ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1998 22:22:13 EDT From: FTWeekly00@aol.com Subject: [MV] Film Threat Weekly : 10-5-98 : Slate II, Take 41 FILM THREAT WEEKLY "Hollywood's Indie Voice of the New Millennium" ============================= Slate II, Take 41 : October 5th, 1998 ============================= http://www.filmthreat.com ============================= "Where's the rest of me?" - - Actor Ronald Reagan discovering his legs have been amputated in Sam Wood's "Kings Row" <===========Deluxe======Widescreen======Edition ===========> THIS WEEK "Right here, right now." =========================================== ——> NEWS: Where objectivity is strangely absent. ——> BOXOFFICE CHART: Who's number one at the boxoffice? ——> PICKS OF THE WEEK: A load of plugs. ——> BIG SCREEN: What Dreams May Come, more… ——> DIY FILMMAKING: Filmmaker War Stories ——> HATE MAIL: You like us. You really like us. SUBSCRIBE "Unless you already did." =========================================== Subscribe/Unsubscribe by sending an e-mail to FilmThreat@aol.com. CLASSIFIEDS "If you advertise, they will come." =========================================== Reach over 60,000 film fanatics on the net. For our reasonable ad rates, e- mail filmthreat@aol.com. NO DANCE FILM FESTIVAL The NO DANCE Film & Multimedia Festival is accepting entries for its 2nd annual alternative D.I.Y. festival in Park City, Utah January 1999. Seeking features, docs, shorts, screenplays, and music videos. Screenings on DVD, VHS and internet streaming. Awards, prizes and parties. Deadline November 20th, 1998. Check web site (http://www.6161.com) for application, or send SASE to: NO DANCE Film & Multimedia Festival, 703 Pier Avenue #675, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 http://www.6161.com GET YOUR FILM INTO FESTIVALS Get the inside story from the experts. Speakers include Film Threat's Chris Gore, author of the upcoming book "The Ultimate Film Festival Survival Guide" from Lone Eagle Publications (http://www.loneeagle.com) and reps from Slamdance, Austin and the LA Independent Festivals. In Los Angeles, October 29th, on the Paramount Pictures lot. Call 1-800-404-4484 for details. WIN A FILM THREAT VIDEO! "Sign up a friend!" =========================================== Each week we'll be giving away a special collectible Film Threat Party Video to readers who forward Film Threat Weekly to their friends! (And you know in Hollywood, "friends" is a loose term, so that means just about anybody!!!) You could WIN, too! The more e-mail addresses you send, the more your chances to win. Sign up your whole family, or your whole company! Start forwarding FTW to your pals or send us their e-mail address and we'll send them a weekly fix of Film Threat. That's not a threat, it's a promise. THE NEWS "Filtered and manipulated. Just like the real news." =========================================== Our top story... ALL DOCUMENTARY CABLE CHANNEL PLANS INTERACTIVE FUNCTIONS Steeplechase Media has reached an agreement with The Documentary Channel to provide technology and content for "enhancing" the entire network. The Documentary Channel, which recently announced its plan to launch on digital tiers of cable systems in mid-1999, is one of the first networks to be conceived with "enhanced television" as a key component of its offering. According to Steeplechase Founder Larry Namer (Founder of E! Entertainment Television, Inc.): "When each of the creators of the linear TV space and the enhanced content space are actually working together, the viewer benefits from a tighter, more logical presentation." Sounds good, Mr. Spock. "Companies like Steeplechase are taking a leadership position in the delivery of high-quality interactive programming," said Steven Guggenheimer, group product manager for Digital TV, Microsoft Corp. "The Documentary Channel's use of this new technology as part of its core programming strategy is very exciting for the entire industry. Microsoft has been a great believer in the educational benefits of interactive programming for consumers, and The Documentary Channel makes a logical starting point for demonstrating these benefits." Steeplechase Media is creating the enhancements for transportation to the viewer via the vertical blanking interval ("VBI") of the TV signal. Viewer responses to polls, transaction processing, chat and e-mail will use the viewer's internet connection. When cable modems are widely available, bandwidth is broader, the enhancements will be more sophisticated and utilize the same internet connection to receive and deliver information. The Documentary Channel is a newly formed digital cable network that will begin airing in the middle of1999. Featuring innovative and inspiring work of independent documentary filmmakers from around the world, that encompasses all subjects and topics, many of which have never been seen on television. http://www.comspan.com Look for updates this week at Film Threat Online in the Dailies section at: http://www.filmthreat.com/Dailies-Today.htm BOXOFFICE CHART "Hollywood's Horse Race... and they're off!" =========================================== Weekend of October 2-4, Source: Exhibitor Relations Co. 1/New ANTZ $16.8 (1) 2/New WHAT DREAMS MAY COME $16.1 (1) 3/ 1 RUSH HOUR $15.0/$84.6 (3) 4/New A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY $10.0 (1) 5/ 2 RONIN $7.2/$23.9 (2) 6/ 3 URBAN LEGEND $7.0/$20.4 (2) 7/ 5 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY $3.6/$158.2 (12) 8/ 4 ONE TRUE THING $2.7/$17.3 (3) 9/ 7 SAVING PRIVATE RYAN $1.7/$184.4 (11) 10/ 6 SIMON BIRCH $1.5/$13.9 (4) PICKS OF THE WEEK "Stuff we wanna plug." =========================================== FILM FESTIVAL: A film festival where you can gamble?!! And get free drinks!! Yes, there is a God!!! Las Vegas holds a winning hand on the film festival scene with the premiere of the CineVegas Film Festival at Bally's Las Vegas, December 10-13, 1998. The festival will showcase films from all over the world including documetaries such as "Stripped and Teased: Tales of Vegas Women" directed by award winning documentary film maker Amie Williams. The film counteracts the Hollywood stereotypes of films like "Showgirls" and "Striptease" with the real lives of nine Las Vegas women. The Film Threat staff is so there! There's a bunch of other movies including some premiere's but this stripper documentary looks to be the hit of the fest. We haven't seen the actual movie yet, but we are prepared to give it the prize for best of the fest -- sight unseen! "The goal of CineVegas is to engage the imagination and participation of the entertainment industry and filmgoing public by producing a festival that captures and emulates the inventiveness that has made Las Vegas the focal point of popular American culture," says Joshua Abbey, the Festival's Executive Director. Let's hope they add a retrospective of Joe Pesci films. http://www.cinevegas.com INDIE FILM SHOWCASE: The Armchair Film Festival is screening shorts every other Monday night in a cushy armchair and sofa-laden TRIBECA lounge. As hosted by Constance Van Flandern, Rupert Wyatt and Ben Freedman, The Armchair Festival has assembled some of the finest examples of short filmmaking and short animation to both inspire you and just get those little gems up on a screen. The Armchair Film Festival showcases shorts at The City Wine and Cigar 62 Laight St (@ Greenwich St.) New York, NY features. http//www.interactive.net/~chris/Armchair-Film-Festival WEB SITE: "Godzilla Versus Disco Lando" is available for download on the web. Evan Mather’s last downloadable film, "Quentin Tarantino’s Star Wars" is an internet hit. In Evan’s words, "Godzilla Versus Disco Lando" features "Smoother graphics, cooler music, twice as long - and an original plot! In addition to using vintage (and new) action figures, hand puppets and Legos were used (for sets)." http://www.jedinet.com/cinema/ ANOTHER WEB SITE: Want to build your own Power Droid from "Star Wars"? They appear in next year's prequel now known as "Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menance" and might come in handy around the house. "How To Build A Power Droid" is live on the web and will fill you in on exactly how to make one of your own. Cool, huh? http://www.studiocreations.com/powerdroid/index.html RESOURCES: Crew Net and Casting Net offers free services when it comes to finding the right crew and talent for procutions. It's easy to use and saves you from having to deal with those 10% vampires. http://www.crewnet.com http://www.castingnet.com BIG SCREEN "Coming Soon to a Theater Near You" =========================================== From five stars "Perfect! * * * * *" to one star "Crap! *" here's the lowdown. WHAT DREAMS MAY COME (PG-13) * * 1/2 (http://www.whatdreamsmay.com) Chris (Robin Williams) and Annie (Annabella Sciorra) are soulmates -- they have a perfect life with the kids, the maid and the big kitchen. When Chris and Annie lose their kids in a tragic car accident, the two struggle to get on with their lives after their deaths. Then Chris gets killed in a car accident leaving Annie completely alone. Yikes. But don't worry because death is cool. Chris goes to heaven and discovers, through friendly angel Cuba Gooding, Jr., that we all make our own heaven. So Chris constructs his world out of images from the beautiful paintings by his wife. The effects are incredible and if you've seen the trailers, you've already seen most of them. What's so disappointing is that the film had so much potential as a concept. The story slowly degenerates into a plodding, sappy bore. Chris learns that his depressed wife has committed suicide and is doomed to spend eternity in hell. That's when Chris chooses to travel to hell to rescue her. This description sounds a lot more exciting than the way it is portrayed on screen. In fact, it felt as if the film was heavily retooled and recut. The constant flashbacks and slow motion made the film painful to watch at times. A major disappointment. - Chris Gore DEE SNIDER'S STRANGELAND (R) Zero Stars (http://www.deesnidersstrangeland.com/home.html) "Strangeland" marks the writing/producing and acting debut of 80's "Twisted Sister" rocker Dee Snider. This cheap version of David Fincher's "Seven" basically involves teens, computers and body mutilation. Capt. Howdy (Snider) is on the loose ... on the web, searching for young, nubile victims to terrorize and carve. But when he kidnaps Detective Mike Gage's (Kevin Gage) daughter, Genevieve (Linda Cardellini) his menacing ways are rought to an end. You may think that I have given the entire film away in one sentence ... trust me I haven't, and it gets worse. Wait until you are treated to Dee Snider giving us his "Forrest Gump, I am timid" act. Wow!!! This "film" is so unwatchable that if I were forced, with a gun to my temple, to choose between viewing it again and the gun, I would choose the blissful sleep that said weapon would bring ... without hesitation. The dynamic acting duo of Kevin Gage and Dee Snider is so insultingly bad that I found myself yearning for the subtle performances of such thespians as Keanu Reeves and Pauly Shore. After the agonizing torture that was endured I can safely make the statement that "Strangeland" is now and will be the worst film of 1998. Realize that I am making this statement after viewing other notables on the "Unwatchable" scale, such as Eddie Murphy's "The Holy Man", Bruce Willis' "Mercury Rising", Arthur Hiller's "Burn Hollywood, Burn" and "Lethal Weapon 4" among others. At one point during this pathetic, waste of film, the police chief made the statement: "Why would God create a creature like Capt. Howdy?" ... All I could think was ... Why would God allow a film to be made like "Strangeland"? The worst film of the year ... mark my words. - Anthony Miele THE CHAMBERMAID ON THE TITANIC (NR) * * * (http://www.chambermaid-titanic.com) Cubs win! Sorry. That has nothing to do with this film. It's just that my beloved Cubbies, who haven't won the World Series since four years BEFORE the "Titanic" sank, just made the playoffs. A guy's gotta celebrate while he can. Horty, who's probably not a Cubs fan, works at a steel foundry in pre-WWI France and goes home at night to his pretty young wife, Zoe. This simple existence changes when, after winning an annual company-sponsored race - think sort of a coal miner's triathlon - he's awarded a trip to England to see the launching of the "Titanic." He answers a knock at his hotel room door and finds Marie, a stunningly beautiful "Titanic" chambermaid, standing forlornly outside, looking for a place to spend the night. Knowing a Penthouse Forum letter when he sees one, Horty lets her in, then spends the night resisting her tempting charms. That's not what he tells the guys back home, however. Egged on by plum brandy and rumors that Zoe slept with the boss to get him promoted, Horty regales the boys in the bar with enrapturing tales of his erotic escapades with the doomed Marie. The audiences grow, as does Zoe's - and our - confusion about what really happened in Southampton. When Zeppe, a traveling thespian, hires Horty to take his ever-expanding tall tale on the road, this ambivalence increases. Still, the money's good, so Zoe swallows her jealousy of Marie's ghost and allows the Rashamon-ish truth to take a back seat. So did he or didn't he - or she, for that matter - fool around? Wouldn't tell ya even if I'd figured it out myself. That I couldn't is both the curse and the perverse charm of this intriguing picture. It seems that, like in life, everything in "The Chambermaid" is relative. There are few constants. Except that the Cubs STILL won't win the World Series. - Merle Bertrand UNMADE BEDS (R) * * * Nicholas Barker's cinematic journal about four desperate singles prowling the personal ads in New York City is at once witty and deviously contrived. The personas, each saddled with their own set of dysfunctional flaws, goals and uproarious quirks, are morbidly engrossing. There's the voluptuous Italian bombshell with meretricious appeal, looking for a sugar-daddy, the diminutive forty-year-old, suffering from nice guys' disease, the sweetly rubenesque twenty-eight-year-old deathly afraid of turning thirty without a husband, and the fifty-four-year-old screenwriter (though he's never sold a script) who describes his apartment as a "sex palace" and insists, time after time, that he has, and never will date a "mutt." But for four emotionally starved people, Barker's cast of characters, are alarmingly selective and that's where the film begins to reveal its grandiloquent chicanery. "Unmade Beds" is seemingly a documentary, but it's not. It's not even a mockumentary, it's a scripted feature that extrapolates from its characters' real-life personalities. Sure, the film is gorgeously crafted, but for a staged act, one would expect something less banal and more sardonic. - Tom Meek ONE TOUGH COP (R) * * * Much in the same vein as Sidney Lumet's "Q&A" and "Serpico," this gritty crime-drama paints a stark portrait of a tough New York City police officer who bucks hypocrisy and conformity within his department. Stephen Baldwin plays the stubborn S.O.B. juiced up on self righteous integrity in order to solve the savage rape of a nun. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's childhood buddies with mobsters who lend their muscle (literally) to help crack the case. Then there's Baldwin's partner (Chris Penn), sauced on the booze and into the mob for a big gambling bill. The drama is flamable with tension, but when it's revealed --at the end -- that the events surrounding Baldwin's non- fictional cop, are made up by a team of writers, the film loses its teeth and its credibility. - Tom Meek DIY FILMMAKING: "War Stories from the Frontlines of Filmmaking" =========================================== Here we present another chapter in our continuing series focusing on the trials and tribulations of making independent films. These War Stories from filmmakers who slaved to get it done will tear at your heart and might even make you cry. (Not really, but it sounds good to say that.) Battle on indie filmmakers! Filmmakers Jason Markstrom (director, editor, camera operator, producer, actor), Rich Trice (writer, producer, actor), and Andy Boldt (actor, producer) got together and made a little film called "Dick Joke." This is their story… INTERVIEW WITH: Jason Markstrom WHAT'S YOUR STORY? We were three students at Northern Michigan University facing graduation and we didn't want to have to get real jobs so we made a movie. Actually, I was a film student. Rich was, but he changed to secondary education. Andy started pre-med but graduated with a degree in computer systems. Apparently Northern is the only university in North America that confers such a degree, much to Andy's consternation at job interviews. I met Rich freshman year and Rich lived in the same hall as Andy. We all eventually ended up sharing a house together, the same house that we made the movie in. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT TITLE? I can't remember. I think we dared ourselves to call it that. Obviously we're going for the family audience. WHAT WAS YOUR BUDGET, SCHEDULE? We shot on Hi-8, so the biggest expense of the production was the box of tapes we used. We also had to pay for copying the script. We were lucky enough to have good friends that volunteered their time and acting. Very good friends. Our original schedule was to shoot it in a weekend, but the harsh mistress known as Reality sobered us up very quickly. We started in the fall of '97 but had to stop because we had defective tapes. We started again in the spring with extra pages. It ended up taking two weeks, most of which were night shoots. Luckily four of the actors lived in the house, myself included, which made it a lot easier. Editing took about two weeks. DID YOU SACRIFICE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF BUDGET? No, because we knew what we had and worked with it. The only thing I would have liked to add is music. One of the original ideas was that there was another friend that couldn't make it to the game because he got called in to work at a radio station. The other guys would listen and maybe make harassing phone calls. WHY DID YOU DO IT? The thought was that maybe somebody would pay us to make another movie, but I think the main reason was to prove to ourselves that we could do it. STATUS OF THE FILM? There are currently 50+ copies out in the world right now and we would like some feedback from people we don't know. "Dick Joke" was just submitted to The Detroit International Festival of Film. We'll probably search out more festivals that screen videos. We may also look into raising funds to remake it on film. ANY ADVICE OR PEARLS OF FILMMAKING WISDOM? To borrow a slogan, just do it. Also, make sure the sound is the best it can be and slate everything, even if it's somebody holding up a piece of paper. Keep track of everything to minimize lost shots. WHAT'S NEXT? We want to see what the reaction is and see what happens on the festival front. As I said, we are looking into a remake. We may also develop some of our other scripts and probably write more. To find out more, surf over to: http://www.execpc.com/~ajboldt/dickjoke.htm FILMMAKERS: Hey! How come my film isn't in this column?!! E-mail your tales to filmthreat@aol.com and answer the basic questions above. Send us a copy of your film on video and if it sounds cool, we'll run a story about your movie! Send VHS review copies to: Film Threat, 5042 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 150, Los Angeles, CA 90036 HATE MAIL "You like us. You really like us." =========================================== Send your ramblings to: FilmThreat@aol.com EVEN HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND IS PISSED AT HIM As you know I'm not usually one to complain about the content of your weekly mailings: but you should've edited this crap out, regardless of the author: (Six String) "Samurai" will be around for years to come with appeal to frat boys and stoners alike. (I know they're the same thing now, just humor me). It's one thing to say "All frat boys are stoners" which while it may be true, is very disturbing. Here you are implying that stoners and frat boys are synonymous. This is wrong, and you know it. You are doing a HUGE disservice to all of the stoners in this world, in associating them with frat boys. It is bad enough that the frat boys are entering the market-place, thereby raising the prices of herb out of the reach of many smokers, but to then add insult to injury by associating frat boys with the rest of the pot-smokers in the world, is really uncool. I want a retraction. Now, or I'll personally come to your house and beat it out of you. Hugs and kisses, - - Bethie FILM THREAT LOVER I have been subscribing for about a year or so, I'm not sure exactly, what is time anyway? but I just wanted you to know, that I REALLY enjoy the Film Threat e-mails and really miss the magazine as well. I found a video store in Madison, WI called Video Heaven that actually stocked some of your Best of the New York Underground Film Festivals, and it was a "film treat" to actually see some of the films I had read about in Film Threat. Keep em comin' and hope to see the mag again sometime in the future! - - Scott Novotne (Beefaroni3@aol.com) END CREDITS "Written, produced, and directed by . . ." =========================================== Publisher / Chris Gore Executive Publisher / Victor Minjares Contributors / Merle Bertrand, Tom Meek, Anthony Miele, Ron Wells Send us films, videos, CDs, games, screening passes: FILM THREAT, 5042 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 150, Los Angeles, CA 90036 Website: http://www.filmthreat.com Edress: FilmThreat@aol.com FILM THREAT WEEKLY is published by The Gore Group, LLC. All material © 1998 Gore Group Publications. All rights reserved. Contents may not be reprinted without written permission of the author. You are, however, welcome to forward this e-mail to whomever you wish. All letters, comments and reviews sent to Film Threat Weekly in any manner are assumed intended for publication, unless stated otherwise. Your name and e-mail address will be printed if published herein. 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